#not 100% sure that's where i want my career to go. so i'm poking around a bit

[kanmom51]

Ok, this might be a bit controversial but even though I side eye many "jeonlous" moments on yt or other media because they literally just zoom in on jk's impassive face, I have seen some that seem legit. I think there is some truth behind it all, meaning that it is possible that jk is a bit possessive, especially when it comes to minimoni or even Taemin for some reason. I mean, he has said he had trouble sharing and it is not difficult to imagine this would also apply to his relationships.

This is not to say that he thinks Namjoon or any of the other members are a threat to his relationship with Jimin because that would be ridiculous. It's just that maybe sometimes he doesn't like some of their skinship (for whatever reasons we don't know) and the rest of bts is probably aware of it. I mean, that clip you reblogged where Jimin sneakily looks at jk and then proceeds to touch namjoon's thigh doesn't have many other explanations. He probably knew what he was doing 😂 There is also that part of their live post billboard 2017 where something was going on with jikook and namjoon.

Actually, I think this is true for both jk and jm, even if it is less obvious/frequent. Maybe I'm crazy but I got the same kind of vibe from Jimin in the black swan mv behind when jk was hanging off of tae.

I don't mean to imply they are toxic or anything but they are young adults and while some telenovela like narratives going around are just insane, i don't think it is fair to assume that their relationship is perfect and that they don't do things that annoy each other or that they don't have behaviors that aren't exactly ideal or 100% healthy. Especially because problems are bound to rise if they are a couple but constantly have to act as if they weren't because their relationship is not public.

I know you are really open minded so I would love to read your thoughts on this 💜

Where do I start here?

Controversial is good.  I like me a good controversy once in a while, as long a it’s not offensive.  It makes for good discussion.

No, I do not believe and definitely don’t like the Jeonolous narrative out there.  It makes for fun YT content, but it’s toxic and paints JK as this possessive ass, which I don’t think he is.

I have addressed this in the past, and said that I don’t believe in this narrative, but on the other hand I do see JK and JM as human beings, and as such, not perfect and prone to natural human behaviour and reactions.  

Even those who are not prone to jealousy, that are in the best of relationships, can get jealous once in a while. 

Another thing we need to remember is that what we spot as jealous can be something other than the obvious possessive jealousy we automatically tend to associate that word with.  It could be something like annoyance or discomfort in a situation. 

The dictionary definition of ‘jealous’ is:

feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements,  possessions, or perceived advantages.

 feeling or showing a resentful suspicion that one's partner is attracted to or involved with someone else.

fiercely protective of one's rights or possessions.

 As you can see, what we call as jealousy can contain within it several meanings.  There is possessive jealousy.  There is jealous of one other’s advantage, such as their connection with someone else.  There is jealous not of the connection with the other, but the ability to showcase that connection (being able to be free with the other, while you have to hide your own connection), and there is what I call the classic jealousy, when there is a suspicion your partner is attracted to someone else.

With all those there is also a spectrum of levels of jealousy, from low level jealousy to toxic jealousy.

JM & JK’s relationship doesn’t live in a vacuum.  If we believe they are in a loving gay relationship, well they are living that relationship while being K-pop idols in SK, a highly traditional society.  They are in an environment you are not supposed to have a romantic relationship, let alone an unthinkable ‘gay’ relationship. So, showcasing such a relationship, for them, is problematic, and could be dangerous, to their careers and even their own personal safety.  It can be detrimental not only to themselves, but to the band and all the members.  So, as a whole, they have to hide it.  And that in itself can also be a point of friction.

Another thing to point out is that jealousy can also be a facet of insecurity, in yourself and/or in your relationship.  The stronger the relationship, the more secure you are in your connection, the less jealous you will be.  I think that this is something to take into consideration when we look at JM & JK, especially in the early years.  

Also, not every time that JK pokes his cheeks with his tongue does it mean he’s jealous or angry.  Not every behaviour should be interpreted as jealously.

Saying all that, I have seen several occasions that stood out to me, and I find hard to explain.

The 4th July 2015 fan meeting incident is one of them.  The way JK reacted to RM taking a hold of JM was not only jealous behaviour but it was such an extreme reaction and effected JK’s behaviour with the fans as well, which was really unprofessional, and uncharacteristic.  

Same vibe but not as extreme was JK during BTS Bomb after KBS music bank 1st place 9 May 2015.  moody JK when he’s eyeing Jimin interacting with Hobi and Jin, also the way JK averts his eyes when Jimin looks his way. He’s not happy. Mood changes when Jimin pays him attention pulling him by his shirt.

Both of these were, at least as far as I am concerned, before JM & JK’s relationship progressed into something ‘more’.  This could be a kind of ‘I want that’ or ‘why are you giving him attention and not me’ jealousy.  Whatever it was, it was a clear reaction to JM’s interactions with another member of the band.

Another one I think about was 3rd April 2017 – BTS Front row live entertainment interview.  

This one intrigues me. I watched and re-watched the full interview several times, and for the life of me I can’t see what happened there between JM and Hobi that triggered JK’s reaction?  JM’s placating look at JK, like telling him nothing happened… this one is used a lot to create the JK jealous narrative, and to be honest, I really don’t know what happened there. When JK turns back, JM looks into the camera with an uneasy gaze.   Something was going on there, no idea what it was.  Was it jealousy?  Was it something else between them? Idk, but it was a curious moment.

The issues JK has with Taemin. We do know that something happened between JK & JM the night JM performed with Taemin (if it had to do with Taemin we don’t know).  

We have also seen JK’s reactions to Taemin & Jimin together.  I do think there is a dislike there, it can stem from jealousy, but it can also stem from simple dislike of the man.  We have no way of knowing.  It’s kind of who came first, the chicken or the egg.

The clip I reblogged, and that you mentioned anon, is something else to me.  Yes, JK’s reaction is of uneasiness, even anger, but the feel I get here is that this is a JM kind of teaching moment, and JK reacting to that. It feels like JM wants to teach him a lesson for some reason, and JK crossing his arms and look at JM kind of radiates anger more than jealousy to me.  The way JM stretches out his hands, the look on his face before he puts his hands on RM’s thigh, the way he looks back before and after to make sure JK is looking.  He was there to teach him a lesson.  That was my impression.  We have no idea what happened before or after.  We have no idea why JM decided to do this, but JK’s reaction to me was more pissed off than jealous.  That’s the vibe I got.

I have seen JM reacting in a manor that looks like jealousy on occasions.  The one I can think about is the Vlive where JK is sitting in front of Tae, JM on the other side of the table, and Tae is using JK as his play thing.  The way JM looks at them, the way he storms out the second the live ends, the way Tae pipes up immediately, looking like he’s off to follow JM.  They all paint a jealous or angry reaction.  

JM was clearly bothered but I don’t think of this as JM being jealous of Tae & JK.  I think the bond between those three is strong enough. Again, this was one of those questionable moments.

Bottom line –

JK & JM are human beings, and as such exhibit normal human behaviour.  

Jealousy can be considered as a normal human behaviour, and can also be seen in healthy relationships, as long as it doesn’t become toxic, obsessive, overbearing or controlling. I will even go so far as to say that there are those who thrive on jealousy.  Jealousy is a way for them to feel their partner loves them, a way to get reinforcement that they are wanted/loved.  Again, this is something that can turn toxic, but not always.

Jealousy has different facets.  You can be jealous of someone, jealous for someone.

Do JK or JM sometimes show jealous behaviour. Seemingly they do once in a while.

Does that make one or either of them jealous monsters?  Does that make their relationship possessive or toxic?

By no means what so ever!!!!!  

It’s natural, it’s human, they are human.  Their relationship has ups and downs. It holds a beautiful bond filled with love and care, but also may hold insecurities and arguments and everything a normal relationship between two human beings will hold.  

We just need to give them a break.

It’s ok to ‘analyze’ behaviours, but it’s not ok to demonize either one of them.  See the behaviour, talk about it, but also remember we only see part of the picture, the edited version of what is going on between the two.

 And first and utmost remember they are human beings, just like the rest of us.  Don’t hold them up to ridiculous standards because they are ‘idols’.