#nooot a problem in the slightest

[ahappydnp]

Can I ask what symptoms you have had or things you noticed in your self

Oh jeez, where to start asdadadasdaas I guess the biggest thing for me growing up was that I was nonverbal almost anytime I was around people that weren’t my caregivers. I was sent to my first specialist at 5 because I would not speak unless I absolutely had to. Like you could not get me to converse with people, even though I was well above the markers for speech for my age. I also used to lock myself in the bathroom every single day during recess in kindergarten because I didn’t want to be with the other kids. The speaking thing was an issue until I was in middle school and even then I was the quiet kid. But at the time, it was chalked up to me being just a weird kid who didn’t have enough socialization (the rural south did nooot have the tools or vocabulary for...anything, especially for girls, and it’s just now starting to get better).

Mostly it got swept under the rug because I did really well in school (which is hilarious because you show me a room full of academic people and I’ll show you a room of mostly nd people) and had no discipline problems cause I didn’t you know..speak..so suuuurely I have no underlying issues :) but obviously that in and of itself was a flag. I fixated very easily and had special interests that I was obsessed with to a worrying degree and hated change violently and really struggled making friends (but once again it was chalked up to a bad home life and we shouldn’t investigate any further). Also, there was my flailing and physical responses, my sensory overload (which is one I probably struggle with the most now), my spaciness. Basically, any signal there was something further going on was just like...oh Keelin is weird and a little bit too much but also somehow fades into the background and she knows a lot about specific things because that’s just what weird people do. Like bruh??? There were a lot more but I guess those were the big ones for me.

Anyway, it’s complex and there are sooo many markers and tests for these things, but if you feel like something is pinging there’s nothing wrong with exploring that. Like it doesn’t change anything about me. It doesn’t alter anything fundamental other than offering a more detailed explanation other than “why are you Like That”. Also it’s waaaaay more prevalent than the general public realizes and I think we’re just now doing the work to normalize it and understand it. Because it’s not rare in the slightest and brains are not one size fits all