#none of these are actually facts but w/e

[scoringeffects]

.

[arthropodboy]

This reminds me of the time I traveled to Oregon for the 2017 solar eclipse with some friends. We were staying in an area of totality to watch the eclipse, so NASA was there to collect data. On the day before the eclipse they held a presentation about how they learn more about the universe using solar eclipses, and dear god... that poor, poor lecturer.

He was the nicest astronomer, talking about something he obviously loved so much, to an audience that could not give less of a shit. We were an audience of 30 sitting in front of him, and then there were a bunch of people bopping about the room picking up NASA stickers and such. He kept giving me this look of desperation, (a then 17 y/o tomboy) because I was the only person listening to him in this entire group of 30, mostly everyone was either on their phones or obviously staring into space (but the wrong kind of space!) I kept giving him this look that said I'm sorry no ones listening to you, what you're talking about is genuinely interesting, it's not you, this just isn't your crowd! and this sad eye conversation went on for half an hour, until it was question time. And that's when things went from bad, to worse. He asked if anyone had any questions about his presentation, and they had questions, but not about his presentation. Person 1: So, uhhhh.... How do you think the solar eclipse is going to effect my mercury? Astronomer, trying to be as polite as possible: I'm afraid I don't know anything about astrology, I am an astronomer, not an astrologer (Astrology girlies, I love you, I like astrology, but I hope we can agree this WAS NOT THE PLACE to ask this question, also the person didn't even seem to know anything about astrology!!) Person 2: Don't you think, it's AWFULLY convenient that the moon is the EXACT right size to cover the sun, but not COMPLETELY cover the sun? Don't you think that's a little suspicious? Astronomer, with the light slowly loosing his eyes: ...Um, yes, we're actually quite lucky to have the moon be the size that it is, it enables us to do many things we wouldn't be able to do if it was any other size. (paraphrasing here a bit, it's been like 6 years) And then that was it. No other questions. Nothing. He looked at me like please ask a question but I just looked back at him like, I'm sorry, your lecture was really cool but I don't really have a question, also it's loud as BALLS in here and I can't think So then the lecture just ended. And everyone left. To this day I feel bad that I didn't give that sad old astronomer words of encouragement, he was just trying his very best. Anyways, I get the sense NASA folks deal with this shit, A LOT

is it just me or is NASA weirdly aggressive in their article about black holes?

can a black hole destroy the earth?

no, you idiot.

black holes aren’t planet gluttons, you bitch.

and the earth isn’t some weak-ass planet that would just fall in to a black hole like a sucker.

and that dumbass sun that we’ve got isn’t big enough to make a black hole like other stars.

you fool.

[sanaexus]

social's as bachira's girlfriend

-liked by kuniisuke, chigi.who and 117.4k others

yourusername: i caught the l-o-v-e

tagged: megubachi

isaichii: yeah and i caught the f-l-u ↳yourusername: don't be so dramatic

isaichii: PHOTO CREDITS WOULD BE NICE SINCE I WENT OUT 2 IN THE NIGHT TO TAKE THIS STUPID PICTURE ↳mikka.kaiser: it's actually 2 in the morning ↳isaichii: shut 😭the😭actual😭fuck😭up😭 ↳yourusername: mb bro

yourusername: the photographer (and part time bachira lover) behind this amazing beautiful picture was none other than isagi yoichi ↳yourusername: that enough photo credit for you? ↳isaichii: yes also tfym part time bachira lover that's weird ↳megubachi: loving me is weird? ☹ ↳isaichii: nO NO NO WDYM OFC NOT I'M A FULL TIME BACHIRA LOVER ↳megubachi: I LOVE YOU TOO ↳yourusername: sigh

megubachi: we're so cute ↳yourusername: you're so cute ↳megubachi: you got me giggling blushing kicking my feet curling my toes twirling my hair 😝 ↳hiyori: what the actual

reo.miikage: did this mf fr take a wine glass outside to take this picture ↳megubachi: I DIDN'T MEAN TO ↳reo.miikage: how do you accidently take a wine glass outside ↳yourusername: he's js a girl 🎀🎀 ↳reo.miikage: why did i even ask

-liked by kunii.suke, chigi.who and 132.6k others

yourusername: meet my boyfriend and my boyfriend's boyfriend

tagged: megubachi, isaichii

isaichii: we're js two bros tfym boyfriend? ↳megubachi: not what u said last night 💔🤬😢 ↳isaichii: sorry baby

karasu_tabito: biggest surprise in this post that you went to the gym w those two ↳yourusername: BYE UR SO RUDE I HOPE U KNOW EITA LIKES ME BETTER ↳karasu_tabito: @/eita.otoya is this true 💔💔 ↳eita.otoya: i'm sorry i didn't want you to find out this way 💔💔 ↳karasu_tabito: wow 💔💔 ↳eita.otoya: WAIT I JS READ HIS COMMENT NO WAIT FR DID Y/N GO TO THE GYM?? ↳yourusername: bye i hate you

nikkoki: who the fuck took the second pic 💀 ↳yourusername: that wasn't me i swear it was @/chigi.who ↳chigi.who: NO BC I WALK INTO FIX MY HAIR AND I SEE THAT WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO ↳hiyori: WELL U SURE AS FUCK WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TAKE A PICTURE?? ↳julian.loki: you should have joined them ↳yourusername: BEO??

user1: the way loki came, told chigiri he should have join with isagi and bachira while they were pissing and then left without any further explanation is just such a loki thing to do ↳julian.loki: i'm a man of few words

megubachi: i swear ily ↳isaichii: who? ↳yourusername: who? ↳megubachi: YOU OFC UR SUCH A SILLY LIL GOOF BALL

-liked by yourusername, isaichii and 142.6k others

megubachi: believe it or not i do love y/n and isagi doesn't always third wheel us

tagged: yourusername

yourusername: SROP ILYSM I'M GONNA KISS YoU ↳megubachi: do it no balls ↳shiidoryu: she would have balls but you keep kicking them ↳hiyori: FOR FUCKS SAKE MATE YOU DON'T NEED TO DESCRIBE SOCCER LIKE THAT ↳mikka.kaiser: FOR GODS (me i am god) SAKE IT ISN'T SOCCER IT'S FUCKING FOOTBALL ↳yourusername: SHUT THE ACTUAL FUCK UP I GOT A POST ALL TO MYSELF AND YALL HAVE TO RUIN IT

nikkoki: i thought this was a y/n appreciation post what's up the the third picture? ↳yourusername: i'll just have to accpet the fact that isagi will always be there ↳megubachi: ily 🥰 ↳yourusername: ihy 🥰

user2: fuck romeo and juilet i want what these bitches have ↳user3: no bc fr both of them seem so happy despite the questionable moments the pictures were taken

rin.itoshi: that outfit ruined my entire halloween party btw ↳user4: WAIT WHAT RIN THROWING A PART?? ↳yourusername: srop it's been like 9 months since then ↳rin.itoshi: and i'll never move on from him twerking in a maid costume. ↳megubachi: I HAVE A GOOD ASS OK STAFU ↳kuniisuke: w h a t .

nagi.seishiro: so the fourth picture is the reason why he couldn't come over to my house the next day ↳yourusername: sorry not sorry

shiidoryu: when's our sleepover y/n 💔💔 ↳yourusername: OMG COME OVER TODAY !! I'LL BRAID UR HAIR !! ↳megubachi: my monster says no ↳yourusername: tell your monster to fuck off ↳megubachi: he didn't like that ↳yourusername: i'm sorry for the bad and for telling him to frick off

user5: context behind the last picture? ↳yourusername: he tried creeping up on me i got scared shitless so i kicked his lower titties, he fell bc it hurt sm i i fell bc i was laughing so much ↳hiyori: did you js call his balls lower tittes ↳yourusername: yes and? ↳kenyu.yukimiya: SAY THAT SHIT W UR CHEST AND ↳reo.miikage: BE YOUR OWN FUCKING BESTFRIEND ↳megubachi: SAY THAT SHIT W UR CHEST ↳megubachi: that fr hurt, the kids inside my balls didn't like it ↳yourusername: well deserved<3

bye this was so fun to write but i dont rlly feel it was very girlfriend like but it was it is

[markrosewater]

The G/R color identity beast legendary (Baloth by the looks of it) in Foundations/Jumpstart, Slinza, screams "this could have been a legendary Kavu" in a way that whispers "WotC isn't ever giving us Kavu support, they're going to get the same treatment as Cephalids and Viashino as WotC culls most of their unique creature types in favor of generic types and any statements to the contrary are dishonest".

In years past, when you were asked on your blog about Kavu getting more print and being fleshed out as a kindred mechanical identity in addition to their clear lore/flavor identity, you pointed out correctly that they only exist on Dominaria and we'd have to return there to see more.

When we did go back Kavu were clearly shown as being present on the world still, even integrated into Yavimaya Elven society. But there were more cards showing/mentioning Kavu than there were actual Kavu cards; the Kavu that were printed in Dominaria were direct call backs to popular nostalgic Kavu from Invasion block like Titan or FTK, so it's clear WotC knows they have an unique identity and were popular/impactful when first introduced. And yet they still felt like afterthoughts, and their presence on Dominaria in the lore included just as a nod, or maybe a hedge so they were set up as being present if WotC wanted to tap them later.

The next time we went back to Dominaria, people asked about Kavu again and again there were ~3 printed, none with any intra-type synergies or support and no legendary. I think this stung a bit more because the plot of story at the time involved another outright Phyrexian invasion of Dominaria, which canonical was the reason the Kavu kicked into high gear and started flooding the surface of Dominaria. This is also true of following sets covering the Phyrexian multiverse invasion. So the fact they weren't a prominent creature type in multiple sequential sets that presented clear in world rationale for them being not just present, but everywhere, felt disappointing and felt like Kavu were just going to be ignored in favor of more generic fantasy creature types with wider appeal and better profit potential.

Given the near completely lack of Kavu printed when you had the opportunity to, and the lack of *any* kindred synergies on any Kavu that has been printed since returning to Dominaria, it feels like w/e you've said in your answers here before, the truth is WotC just isn't interested in fleshing out Kavu mechanical identities or designing legendaries for them. That WotC would prefer if players just forgot about them because you're just going to print beasts from now on. I have loved Kavu since seeing them in Invasion and I know I'm not the only player that feels that way. I personally think WotC is overlooking a free win with long time players in terms of nostalgia and food will, etc, by repeatedly making the conscious choice to not flesh out an existing Magic IP unique creature type.

And that's disappointing. But I'd rather have someone be *honest* with me about something and be disappointed with the answer than be strung along with dishonest or misleading "maybe :)"(s) and "we'll see te-he"(s) because you don't want to deliver a feel bad answers. Being told maybe when the answer is no, over and over, is far more feel bad, and only adds to the overall player perception of erosion of good faith and good will by WotC.

We're not anti-Kavu. We're just not looking to make every slot that could possibly be a Kavu, be a Kavu. We will make them now and then when appropriate, but it's something we do in moderation. There is no Kavu ill will.

[raythekiller]

Ticci Toby nsfw alphabet :0? please and thank you!

🗒 ❛ NSFW Alphabet ༉‧₊˚✧

Featuring: Ticci Toby

#Notes: ugh i love him sm

pronouns used: none, gn! reader

˗ˏˋ back to navigation ´ˎ˗

A - AFTERCARE

Super touchy feely and gentle. Will clean you up himself, you don't even have to ask. Cuddles afterwards are a must.

B - BODY PART 

Another chest guy, boobs or not. His hands just gravitate towards it as you're having sex.

C - CUM

Likes coming on top of your stomach the most. Since you're normally barebacking and he doesn't want to risk anything, he pulls out last second.

D - DIRTY SECRET 

Well, he thinks it's a secret, but everybody knows he's never even kissed anyone, let alone had sex before.

E - EXPERIENCE 

As mentioned above, no sex experience, didn't even watch much porn like other guys his age, which is why he normally likes you taking the lead.

F - FAVORITE POSITION 

Matting press. Doggy if he's the one getting fucked, he's too embarrassed to let you see his face.

G - GOOFY 

He's more passionate than funny, since he takes it quite seriously. Will crack a few jokes after it's done, though.

H - HAIR

Actually pretty well groomed, likes to keep his junk clean. Too much hair and he feels gross. Not clean shaven, but fairly decent.

I - INTIMACY

Super romantic and passionate. The fact you want to do something so intimate with him makes his heart flutter, so he wants you to feel appreciated as well.

J - JACK OFF

Doesn't do it too often, never did even as a teenager. When he does, he doesn't even watch anything, just silence as he works his magic.

K - KINK

Here's a full post on his kinks.

L - LOCATION 

Doesn't want to admit it, but in the middle of the woods. Loves the idea of fucking you against a tree and the risk of getting caught.

M - MOTIVATION 

Mentioned this before, but dirty talking is a HUGE turn on for him. Just whisper something in his ear and he's yours.

N - NO

Similar to Ben, doesn't want to do anything to hurt or upset you, like impact play or degradation. Unlike Ben, he won't budge no matter how much you tell him it's okay.

O - ORAL 

Giving, definitely. Even though he has no experience, he's a fast learner. Won't stop until you've come on his face.

P - PACE

He gets a bit desperate, so he might now be as slow and sensual as he wants to. The thrusts become messy and fast after a little while.

Q - QUICKIE 

Prefers to take his time with you, so quickies aren't a very often occurrence. He wants to make sure you're completely satisfied.

R - RISK 

Pretty open to experimenting. Other than that, the most risk he'll take is, again, public sex in the forest.

S - STAMINA 

Oh, he'll go on for hours without breaks. It's insane the amount of energy he has. Though he comes pretty fast, he'll make up for it by coming multiple times in a row. As many as you want.

T - TOYS 

Doesn't own or like them that much, honestly, but if you wanna try it he's all game. That being said, strap-ons are a completely different story for him.

U - UNFAIR 

Can't tease or handle teasing. Doesn't mean he doesn't like it when you're a bit cheeky, though, but he gets worked up super fast.

V - VOLUME 

Fairly loud, also a whimperer. Doesn't speak much during sex, just incoherent ramblings about how good you're making him feel. He gets fucked stupid really easily.

W - WILD CARD 

Fucking loves it if you scratch his back while he's pounding into you. He can't feel it anyway, and it's a sign that he's doing a good job.

X - X-RAY

Pretty good size, about 8 inches, not too thick. Curves a little to the left.

Y - YEARNING 

Not too horny, honestly. You're gonna have to initiate it most of the time if you wanna get laid with him. Not that he minds.

Z - ZZZ

Can't sleep for a good while after. He just holds you untill you go out and stares at your face lovingly, tucking any stray hair behind your ear.

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

Things in Zombies Re-Animated that I can't stop thinking about/just stuck out to me Idk:

Bartleby. He is very cute.

Like literally one of the best looking scenes in the entire show is the bit where he licks the sandwhich Dae gave him. The way his eyes close and his ears go back makes me so happy I love it when animals do that

Also Bartleby screaming in Something to Tok About is a really funny gag Idk-

The animals in this show are all great tbh I love that so many characters get to have weird little pets

WHEN BUCKY MET BARKY IS SUCH A SWEET EPISODE SJFNVKEMFMEMDN

Bucky somehow picking up on Dae being an introvert before anyone else does???

The Trevor Tordjman jumpscare in Something to Tok About

Shrimpossible

Bucky loving cool frogs, mostly because it's a mood

Just Bucky in general tbh

Also I really like Dae! I was kinda worried she would be annoying, because one of her defining traits is how quirky she is and that kind of character can get annoying FAST, but so far Dae's actually been really fun!

Also I think it's very funny that her VA(Kayhun Kim) was in Cocaine Bear

The Mothership not being Ru Paul anymore. A VERY understandable choice(getting Ru Paul back would be EXPENSIVE), but disappointing none the less

The fact that Bree canonically writes fanfic about A-spen and Wynter because she has a weird disconnect between them being her friends and them being her favorite band-

The fact that Wyatt and Eliza actually got together and then broke up over the course of like, 5 episodes? Which isn't a bad thing! I think their relationship was actually handled really well, which is why I'm gonna be thinking about it a lot lmao

WE'RE BRINGIN IT IS STUCK IN MY HEAD AND I CAN'T GET IT OUT H E L P

Bucky and Willa being friends. Them being friends is very important to me.

Zeddison. Just Zeddison. I love them <3

Willa and A-spen BARELY interacting in the first 11 episodes :(

Willa and Bree friendship :)

Bucky and Dae friendship :)

S p a g h e t t i W a t e r f a l l

Im glad Trevor Tordjman is ACTUALLY singing again in the show. If you don't count rapping(which I don't bcuz rapping and singing require different skill sets), he hasn't had an actual solo part in anything since like. Fired Up Competition. Which is weird cuz he's actually a pretty decent singer???

I'm also glad we get to hear Kylee Russell sing more!!! Her voice is so pretty :)

The soundtrack in general is really good

Eliza singing a love song to a vending machine

Addison and Bree's joint hallucination being the thing to prove to them they're still besties. Only real ones share hallucinations fr

Coach and the Solstice Slasher being highschool besites???

RAZZMATAZZ!!!!!!!!

Just Coach and his relationships in general tbh

The poster of Eliza in Invasion of the Bucky Snatchers. That image is going to haunt my nightmares f o r e v e r

SERIOUSLY I LITERALLY CANNOT GET WE'RE BRINGIN IT OUT OF MY HEAD IT'S TOO FUCKING CATCHY-

Also my brain has constructed a version of It's Okay where Wyatt's part is replaced with the chorus of I'm Not Okay, I Promise by MCR and that won't get out of my head either 💀

Also also every time I see the title of that song I start thinking about It's Alright by Mother Mother?

Basically everytime I think about It's Okay I get every song EXCEPT It's Okay stuck in my head. For some reason

And then We're Bringin It gets sTUCK IN MY FUCKING HEAD AGAIN SERIOUSLY IT WON'T FUCKIN L E A V E

Bucky is canon m-spec and polyamorous that one scene in A Wyatt Place confirms it I'm nOT INSANE I'M NOT-

I miss the Aceys 😔

This show has a surprsingly similar sense of humor to South Park and Smiling Friends? Like obviously it's really toned down because Re-Animated is on fucking Disney Channel, but like... idk it has the same vibes

The Blob

I wanna know when the rest of the season is coming out cuz I need moooooooore

[aerequets]

I really liked the scene you drew for the fanfic Once more with feeling. Do you have other fanfics recommandations? PS. I love your art :3

thank you! :D and yes of course i do 😎 i have this list (twiyor) from a while ago but i have amassed more than enough new faves to make a new one!

i will try to get a mix of fics w/ different vibes, and different lengths, as well as those that you may not have heard of before. most if not all of them will be twiyor tho, bc that's what i read most.

i'll put them under the cut!

FUN FACT i spent like 45 mins writing a list and SOMEHOW DELETED IT ALL. so this is take 2 😭😭😭😭 ANYWAYS

The Woman in Red by @nightofnyx8

rated M, 7/7 chaps, 47.9k words

this fic feels like a book to me if i was already invested in the characters. it revolves around yor, who gets an assignment to find out where a bunch of trafficked girls are being kept by the asshole of the millenium, vito cohen. it is also post reveal, post relationship twiyor. this fic has dark moments just by virtue of the subject matter, but none of it feels gratuitous if that makes sense? like every bit of violence lends to the whole picture. there are also some Steamy ™ twiyor moments, which are easily skippable if that's not your thing, but their whole relationship here is just written so well. the trust is there and the protective loid vibes are 👌 i m m a c u l a t e

Smoldering by @julphines

rated G, 1/1 chaps, 2.1k words

i freaking love the look into post reveal, pre relationship twiyor we get here. it's not overtly romantic but instead them getting to know each other. i especially love the details of them having to make themselves be vulnerable in some ways because they just aren't used to it. a really nice, in-between sort of fic :)

In Love With the Distance by Newt on ao3

rated T, 37/37 chaps, 21.5k words

this one is formatted as a collection of letters and i am OBSESSED. i think the author does a very good job getting the character voices down, and the fact that the progression in their relationship is clear despite being in this letter format will never cease to amaze me. it's also incredibly consistent and has cute 'ciphers' at the top that are used to disguise the letters. this one is also post reveal, and kinda follows what happens immediately after. some bits are outside the letter format, but for the most part, it's loid and yor writing to each other. love

La Vie En Rose by @jubileen

rated T, 1/1 chaps, 3.7k words

i love me a good ol 5+1 fic, and this one did not disappoint 😌 i especially liked how the thing that is being counted here (you know, the "five times x and one time x") is not explicitly stated each time. it's something that is as slowly revealed to the reader as it is to the characters, which is a nice touch. and there are more things you catch after a reread, which i am also a great fan of!

An Ever Fixed Mark by Spiraling (Stormwind13) on ao3

rated T, 3/3 chaps, 3.8k words

soulmates that share wounds!!!!!! need i say more?? ALSO, there's some GORJUS artwork in this fic! actually, the first "chapter" is just the cover page, and then in the third chapter is another illustration which is so well done! so that's a plus :) this fic has the nice ol heartwrenching mix of backstory and present for the characters, another plus!

this fic is restricted tho, so u gotta be logged into ao3 to read it 🙏

Love, He was Certain by toteally on ao3

rated M, 1/1 chaps, 3.2k words

this one is so funny and good to me bc loid goes head empty seeing fruit juice dribble down yor's chin KJFDHSJ i love when overthinking characters suddenly can't form a thought at the most mundane of happenings. ALSO the thing fics/books do when the title comes up and you're like OHHHH THERE IT IS!!! yeah that as well

Macabre Theme and Variations by @piracytheorist

rated T, 15/15 chaps, 66.6k words (lol)

WOOOO TIME LOOP FIC! yet another thing that i am a fan of :DD although HEED THE WARNING because there IS violence but there is also a happy ending. this fic follows twilight as he goes through the same day over and over again and tries not to die a horrific death forever. mans gets more trauma, BUT he also gets character progression and a happy ending so fair trade off right 🤔 (yes. the answer is yes)

anyways, this list is hardly even the tip of the iceberg. there's also my bookmarks which, at the time of writing this post, are at 354... most of which are sxf/twiyor.... so yeah LMAO obviously i couldnt put all of them into this post but definitely check those out. i've also got my own works if you're interested but hopefully this list contains fics you have not yet read, and that you will like 🙏🙏

(if your fic is on this list and you haven't been tagged + would like to be, pls let me know!)

[discopolice]

so the thing about islands of wakfu is it's where wakfu peaked. I will give that the gameplay is not good. but from the perspective of the world-building, the art direction, the music, it's the zenith (the zinit, even /rimshot) of what ankama was able to do, particularly with eliatropes

and i think that's why s4 landed as so disappointing to me! i've been subsisting on this one beautifully-written game for over a decade, so when i heard more of an eliatrope focus for s4, i was very excited - i'd been asking for this for years, to flesh out more of the web between them and the goddess and their actual culture and the ways they lived. or like.... something.

instead we get.... a poorly explained temple, and plot holes. we get none of the nuance we saw with qilby's relationship to the goddess or the eliatrope people as a whole, nor the nuance we saw with the almost-distance the goddess took from their people in IoW. the religion and philosophy aspects remain entirely unexplored. chibi as a character remains unexplored despite living and dying over an entire ova.

and part of me expected this, right? we know that IoW is no longer canon (in parts; the bit with the goddess and the dragon remains canon because i guess he liked that, and some of the copy from the MMO DLC indicates they may be keeping chibi/mina). perhaps i expected some of the themes to remain intact, but tot seems more interested in writing about his own family than in complexities of worldbuilding. and that's his prerogative! but it bores me and that's also why I write fanfiction

on that note, I also feel like a fossil when people wring their hands about shipping members of the eliatrope council being "literally incest" or "proshipping" or w/e because that has historically not been the tack they've taken. when i write, i want to make it clear that i write primarily drawing from IoW as my inspiration - to the point i've considered retagging my work on ao3 to reflect this. my stuff needs the context of this game, the world-building, the lines in it.

not helped by the fact that it's almost lost media - it's not available to purchase anywhere, few people own an xbox 360 anymore, and while it seems to play well with xenia (pc xbox emulator) per one youtube video, few people are likely to take the time to locate the rom (which, frankly, i'll just give to you if you ask) and set xenia up for a game that's annoying to play and no longer canon. i'd still encourage folks to watch a playthrough; it's really something that needs to be experienced.

[pwnyta]

MORE TWISTED WONDERLAND TWINK JUDGMENT.

That hair is DIABOLICAL. Especially in blond... i know the Huntsman has that hair but it wasnt that bad in black. Hes still my favorite of the three Snow White crew TBH. The Huntsman?

More like CUNTSMAN AMIRITE?!

Best/worst outfit- This shitty fake Aussie outfit.. IDKY but I can only imagine him with an Australian accent now. Its terrible. I do take back the Cuntsman title why are all his outfit kinda lame? Theyre really doing Snow Whites baddies dirty.

Overall- 5.5/10...

...Not Hades... Why he look like an edgy version of Yaoi Jesus!? Not like this Hades... Not like this. I hate it here.

Best outfit- The Knight outfit. Its pretty sick...

Overall- 3/10 looks pretty cool but the fact hes so miserable even tho Hades is iconic... smdh

...Not Robot Shota Hades.... Do they know theres Medusa, Centaur, Hydra, Pain and Panic... WHY TWO HADES AND THEYRE BOTH THE WORST!?

Best outfit- This butterfly drip is actually pretty sick. I still hate it.

Overall- 4/10 for the Butterfly outfit he gets an extra point over Idia...

...Maleficent.... Alright big dog. You better not fuck this up. They fucked up Hades and The Evil Queen... you gotta really pop off bud. So far so fine.

Best outfit- Alright Mal... you saved yourself. I also like the Long outfit. WELL DONE BUD.

Overall- 7.5/10!

...WHO? Silver... is he... the fuckin sewing wheel? ???

Best outfit- I get to reward the Long outfit! Well done. But since its a shared outfit... not as good.

Overall- 5/10?? I guess.

...Maybe the green fire? I guess theres slimpicking as far as baddies in Sleeping Beauty... but why just add so many and then like NONE of the baddies in Hercules accent Hades? I dont get it Fifi... But this guy is pretty good. Rare not-twink? Real?

Best outfit- He looks nice in this half cape. I think he should have a proper belt but w/e.

Overall- 6.5/10

WHO!?!?!? I dont like this guy at all.... but also it makes me laugh at the person complaining about people sexualizing characters when theres so much shotabait LMAO.... Girl.

Best outfit- Full armor baby. Thats the way to go.

Overall- 2.5/10

Crowley... lookin sharp. Cool mask. Cool wing cape...

Best outfit- His standard. He doesnt have much to work with unfortunately.

Overall- 8/10

LIPSMACK OF DISAPPOINTMENT. You can do better than that for Cruella... Come on now.

Best outfit- His standard I guess cuz his other one sucks worse.

Overall- 4/10

Not Cinderellas step mom being better designed than Cruella... Also he reminds me of that comic with the old man with the fat ugly cat. So...

Best outfit- He doesnt get any more but its still good.

Overall- 7/10. Simple but I dig it.

...Tibbies.

Best outfit- I mean... its simple but a little cunty. HES GOT ANTLERS ON ALL OF HIS ...outfits.

Overall- 7/10

NOT TWINK FACILIER!!! WITH THE KILLMONGER CUT! LMFAO.

Best outfit- GIVE HIM MORE CLOTHES. WHY IS HE FACULTY!? WHY ISNT HE A STUDENT!? That a hamsa in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Overall- 10/10 I cant rate my mans Facilier any lower Im sorry. LMAO Hes very cute.

NOT CUNTY TWINK FROLLO!!! NOOOOO

Best outfit- His only outfit

Overall- ....8/10 Hes dripped out what can I say?

HONEST JOHN!? LMAO... Yo whyd they drop the ball so hard on Sleeping Beauty and then just started pulling out these NPC baddies...

Best outfit- Only outfit. Hes serving thoooo

Overall- 9/10

...How you gonna make the Cheshire Cat boring? I like his mome rath pants tho... I love Mome Raths...

Best Outfit- n/a

Overall- 2/10 THATS THE CHESHIRE CAT GUY!? ... boring as fuck...

What a weak ending... after all that goodness.

[snapedefender]

to be totally honest i feel like people forget that hp is a children’s book series and that the characters in it function the way they do to fit the narrative structure of children’s books. like. 

we can boo-hoo about snape being an abuser or w/e the fuck but the fact of the matter is that his place in the narrative is to be a mildly annoying antagonist. that’s why literally none of the kids except maybe neville are really that bothered by him beyond a “ah fucking SNAPE” attitude. like even that moment where snape insults hermione’s teeth gets blown over in like five pages??? in the next scene she’s totally fine. 

because snape’s narrative purpose is to be the annoying mean teacher. plot-wise, he functions as a narrative hook (what’s snape doing? why is he so suspicious?) and an obstacle to the goals of the protagonists. if we look at the events of a lot of the books, without snape in them there’s immediately way less tension because without snape in them, harry & co would immediately have a much easier time achieving their goals. like yeah, he’s mean but i think we’re also like... forgetting that “mean teacher” is as much a trope as like “prophecy child” or w/e. idk what to tell you except that it’s the same kind of annoying discouse that surrounds people who gasp in moral outrage over child protagonists being made to like fight the evil villains. because for most children’s stories, this isn’t a commentary on child soldiers or loss of innocence or anything like that, it’s just because... these books are for children and kids want to read about themselves conquering evil. it’s that simple. it’s a similar thing with snape. like at no point when i read this series as like a 10 year old did i think “wow that teacher is sooooo abusive and traumatizing his students!!! evil man!!!” i was like “wow he’s mean!! damn him, stop getting in harry & co’s way!!! foiled again by snape!!!” like when i was reaching as a kid/teen i regarded him as a scooby doo villain (affectionate) not a child-abusing sadist. 

and i think it’s just... really necessary to remember that characters in books serve a narrative purpose and also that the way they interact with their world is actually dependent on their genre, you know? and also because i had to read someone’s like four paragraphs on why snape is an evil abuser and i was thinking 2 myself yet again about how it’s Not That Deep. like. he’s a mean teacher. his function in the story is to Be The Mean Teacher. he’s an obstacle, not an abuser and the fact of the matter is harry & co always treat him like that bc that’s his purpose in the narrative. sorry 2 break it to you.

[the-cryptographer]

was talking to a friend about the fact that AI outperforms doctors in making diagnoses and tbh completely unsurprising given the fact that doctors are increasingly expected to diagnose patients in twenty minute checkup windows. because i'm sure there are a lot of things a doctor could do better than AI in a world where hospital staff and patients were both being valued. a doctor fully integrated into the community they are treating who has time for hour long visits where they can more freely take time to diagnose and discuss a patient's lifestyle concerns, goals, and the logistics of meeting said goals can do a lot of things that AI cannot. but for a plethora of reasons doctors are increasingly not doing that - they're doing twenty minute checkups with the intention of diagnosis. and if that's the only value doctors intend to provide and the only value others in turn are demanding of doctors, of course AI can do it faster and more accurately than they can. of course it can.

and to bring this back to fandom things. of course it upsets me that people are feeding fics to AI and see what the program pops out. of course the idea of someone doing this with my fics makes me feel cheap and used and commodified and disposable. like the wrapper for a candy bar, instead of a human being who put in a lot of effort to collect their thoughts on the things they've studied and felt and experienced, and express it through an artistic medium they love and admire. but as much as it upsets me it doesn't *outrage* me, frankly, because that feeling is old news. kudos culture, personal entitlement, every time someone has gotten upset with me for writing a narrative with a conclusion that was not meant to - and never meant to - provide easily digestible escapist romantic wish fulfillment. and i am not discounting that i myself have probably contributed to making other artists in fandom feel this way too. but if all we are offering as artists, and all we are demanding from artists in turn, is inoffensive tropey emotional fulfillment of our two favourite blorbos kissing (or hugging, or kicking bad guy butt, or going to therapy and learning how to be a well-adjusted person without any of the actual upsetting work involved in that, or w/e). if exacting character analysis, the craft of creating an interrogating and thematically consistent narrative, or the bravery to create a headcanon that there is no basis for other your ability to write it convincingly - if none of that matters, then of course AI can write better and faster than I can. of course it can.

[centrally-unplanned]

Alright watching the new Spice & Wolf. This is probably going to be an emotionally muddled one for me - when I first saw the original as a college boy, I really loved it. Its conceptually checks off a lot of boxes for me; focus on economics, "realistic" low magic fantasy setting, adult characters with plots built around the struggles of everyday living, and also a hot foxgirl. In particular, it had a "there wasn't anything else like it" factor - you really can't find another mainstream anime with the focus that it has.

Alas in hindsight I was giving the show a lot of credit it didn't deserve because of said premises. It doesn't really delivers on them - its trade/economics plots tend to be either weak, using simple or illogical tricks, or on the flip side convoluted, with all of these like betrayals and counter-deceptions that actual merchant life would never really have. More importantly, its pretty bad at conveying these stories - a lot of time is spent with like two people sitting in chairs discussing exchange rates or w/e via dialogue which is not a great way to do that. This is visual information in a visual medium, make charts or little graphics, make it fun! Take notes from Dr Stone on this one. And since none of this is fun the show tended to throw in like church kidnappers and other "actiony" plots to supplement it, which is a bit of a cop-out

And alongside that Holo & Lawrence's dynamic is very will-they-won't-they, not a ton of progression, the visuals are a bit flat, and has more than its fair share of unneeded fanservice. Its a very "of the era" anime in its style and directing. None of this is to say I hate it or anything, I still like it, but now its more of a "sure why not" show over a favourite, except for the fact that due to history there is a sense of attachment that lingers.

From what I can tell, the current remake is going to repeat every single one of these problems and improve on nothing! Lets find out I guess.

[hauntedwizardmoment]

okay. this is. potentially such a weird specific ask but as i am over here getting ready to tpk my party who said that. what do you think would happen if for w/e reason jace's college party like. brought jace AND porter along for a mission. no idea WHY this would happen but i'm. literally just picturing the weirdest pissing contest between peregrine and porter during fights and jace is fighting for his life because the tanks are trying to one up each other so he can't even clock that he's kind of being fought over actually.

OH MY GODDDD YEAH. god. i have so many thoughts on this bc like

peregrine and porter are both like. so insecure about their masculinity in ways that i think would clash TERRIBLY. like, if this is adjacent to blood and turpentine canon. maybe their new offensive caster (drow wizard, name currently undecided but he's ysvelde's cousin) bites it and aurora's not able to resurrect him. so they need a backup.

and invidia is like "guys we're close to elmville. i know none of you like him but we could get jace" and dagbert and ysvelde are like "it's not that we dont LIKE him its that he's just. a lot of drama. with aurora and peregrine and everything." but then invidia asks peregrine who's kind of like the unofficial party leader and he's like (convinced he and jace could have an affair bc he's unhappy in his marriage and in his mind jace has always been available to him as a backup option) "well, we need all the help we can get and he's our best option" and i think the only reason aurora would agree to this is bc she thinks whatever mission theyre on might actually kill him

anyways. jace shows up with porter, to everyone's shock, and is like "you guys remember porter? he said he was free too and i figured we could use extra muscle" and IMMEDIATELY peregrine is like "why'd you think that? dagbert and i are--" and then dagbert (only professional on the team) is like making nice with porter and theyre like bonding and peregrine is like [grits teeth] okay. okay. it's fine. it's just a week in the red wastes like old times.

and porter KNOWS about jace and peregrine so he's like playing up the fact that theyre together. like jace gets hurt by something and aurora like rolls her eyes and moves to heal him and porter's like nah don't worry i got him, and kisses jace's hand for a Lay on Hands. and peregrine is fully like [actively seething] calm down calm down calm down calm down

ofc this leads to peregrine taking stupid risks in a major battle bc he thinks he'll win jace over by showing him how he can protect him. and he gets hurt as a result. and so does porter bc now he's taking damage that was meant for peregrine. and jace has to be the one to burn his 9th level spell slot and kill whatever monster theyre fighting. and he's like "guys youre both better adventurers than this?? what the fuck was that?" and neither of them want to admit that theyre kind of in a contest for who can show off in front of him so theyre like "it's nothing, won't happen again"

but ofc it DOES happen again. and again. and aurora who has made it her mission to not interact w jace at all lest she "accidentally" let off a 7th level inflict wounds and reduce him to a pile of black ichor when they still need him is like "you need to tell your little dalliance to knock it off because if you two get my husband killed i can't be held responsible for what i do. youre not even dressed like a whore this time around, i dont know what kind of hex you cast on him but fucking stop it"

and jace would ignore this because to him thats classic aurora, pissed off at him for no reason & blaming him for shit he didn't do, until invidia is like "did you bring porter to fuck with perry on purpose because that's SO you and SO petty i love it" and jace is like "no of course not, i genuinely thought we could use another tank" and ysvelde is like "okay but like, you wanted to fuck with him a little bit, right? make him jealous?"

and jace (low int) finally gets it and is like oh my god. martial classes are all fucking IDIOTS. is that why theyve been absolutely fucking useless in every fight? i shouldve gone through with marrying you ysvelde my life would be so much easier if i'd done that. and THIS is when invidia and ysvelde spill all the drama to him about peregrine and aurora's crumbling marriage and jace comes clean about peregrine coming onto him at his own wedding. and they laugh and laugh and it's like old times for a brief moment.

and then peregrine and porter get into a physical fight bc peregrine doesnt like that porter's been very touchy-feely with jace lately and porter was like "what's it matter to you? he's mine now, not that he was ever yours" or some other creepy possessive bullshit like that. and jace has to separate them and talk both of them down (well he yells at porter and is very soft-spoken and simpering with peregrine) because they wont listen to anyone else.

[loveandleases]

I can’t believe no one’s asked for the ABCs for G! So that’s what I’ll do pretty please 😅💚

Ask and you shall receive! Below the cut~

Cam ABC

Kara ABC

M ABC

Isaac ABC

Ardent ABC

A = Aftercare - G is really good at aftercare, honestly, it comes from them being a veterinarian. They have the absolute best bedside manners. MC will actually have to talk to G to get them to realize oh wait, this isn't their job. If MC and G are a bit rough, they will soothe MC's bitemarks/bruises etc., with a balm. Rubbing over each spot softly and kissing them each tenderly.

B = Body part - Their hands. They have some scars on them from some animals at work, but it just reminds them that everyone needs help sometimes. Even the mean ones. Their favorite part of their partner is the nape of the neck. They find it very sensual.

C = Cum - They like to see their partners come on them, especially if it's on their lips~

D = Dirty Secret - When MC and G were still getting to know each other in Uni, and G was very much in rival mode. Always arguing with MC, especially in class. G had veery much got turned on by it and masturbated to the thought of MC. In fact, G would go on to provoke MC even more after that.

E = Experience - They're quite experienced. G in the relationship phase would never mention their past experiences, but now...yeah G is all for it. Especially if it makes MC feel something.

F = Favorite Position - The seashell!

G = Goofy - Not really goofy. G is much more serious in the moment, especially for an MC who decides to be the more dominant one. G will be flustered, conflicted, then sudden realization how much they like it.

H = Hair - G has a small dusting of black hair, female G keeps it trimmed in a small inverted triangle.

I = Intimacy - Very romantic. Especially with MC. It's like seeing them for the first time all over again. It becomes something they want to remember, every motion, every moan. Every taste of one another.

J = Jack Off - G really likes to edge themselves for a while before climaxing.

K = Kink - Edging, hair pulling, mutual masturbation, and most importantly the sound of their partner.

L = Location - Their office, it's one of the places that is the most comfortable for them. Also, they would love to do it on Chris's bed. Revenge ya know?

M = Motivation - MC. A partner that is a bit of a brat, or someone tugging on their hair while kissing their neck.

N = NO - They will not have a threesome. Nope.

O = Oral - Prefers to give, but that is only because our icey babe gets so flustered when someone is going down on them. It's one of the things that flusters them and knowing someone can see them blush, no.

P = Pace - They prefer slow and rough/sensual. Especially if their partner is moaning in their ear...they might become much faster then.

Q = Quickie - Not a fan, but understands if it is something that happens because too busy.

R = Risk - Not really, but it's because G is a cautious person for many reasons, including MC.

S = Stamina - They get pretty tired after work, so 1 time, but if they had the day off, going to be doing it at least 3 times. Especially makeup sex.

T = Toy - They own none. Though they wouldn't be against MC using them.

U = Unfair - Other people they wouldn't tease. MC specifically, so much teasing it would get to the point that MC would have to make G stop by begging.

V = Volume - So very loud. Also, very whiny. It's possible MC can even hear G when their occupied.

W = Wild Card - Ex-G has very much said MC's name when having sex with someone else. They don't want to talk about it, especially not with themselves.

X = X-Ray - Male G is working with 7.0 inch and quite a bit of girth. Both female and male G has a small birthmark just above their groin.

Y = Yearning - They don't yearn a lot...okay maybe they do but not for anyone specific!

Z = ZZZ  - About 10 minutes after, less than that if aftercare isn't needed. They will be curled up against MC head pressed hard against their chest.

[authoratmidnight]

If there are any TFP fics exploring the whole 'Smokescreen almost became a Prime' thing (either, like, aus where he becomes a prime or just like, fics tacking the aftermath of 'it almost happened') send them my way pls b/c idk how to find them.

In the meantime I need to ramble about my idea for the timeline of 'Smokescreen ends up a Prime' in TFP.

Optimus dies. The Forge didn't have enough energy to save him, enough for a good bye but that's it. Leaving Smokescreen alone, with a lifeless Optimus Prime and the Matrix apparently being transferred to him. #smokescreendidnotsignupforthisshit

And it does, even if Smokescreen does not think he's ready or qualified. But he gets it and it reborn as Smokescreen Prime (or, w/e his name would be. idk if it needs to keep the same initials, like OP did or the same/similar name or a different name, if a totally new name is a thing then I nominate Ignis Prime, b/c Ignis means flame, and where there's smoke there's fire). Probably gets a physical upgrade as well (bigger, maybe his s3 colour scheme, new abilities, the works).

Meanwhile, at the Decepticon fortress everything is proceeding the way it did in canon, the Bots are captured to be executed up until 'oh, who's that on the horizon?' it's not a Con, looks wrong, but it can't a Bot cause none of the ones currently on earth fly. And as it gets closer they're even more confused. It's NOT Prime, the colour is wrong, but it's not familiar.

They don't realize it's Smokescreen till he lands (flying in on, idk, new wings or jet feet). And he promptly guns it for Megatron. And to their (and Megatron's surprise) does not get insta killed. In fact he seems remarkably energized for someone who should have been battered and hungry and in hiding for a while.

And it takes a bit for anyone to realize, through all the fighting (since everyone is now), what weapon Smokescreen is wielding.

The Star Saber

And when someone does notice, oh they notice and comment. Idk if it would strike harder if it's Megatron or an Autobot(like Arcee or Rachet) who finally asks/comments "But, only a Prime can use the Star Sabre."

And Smokescreen, replies, in a sad/melencholy/bitter tone just replies "Yeah, they can."

And it's a small statement that speaks volumes and has everyone shook.

Finally he issues his first actual command, "Bring this base down." And they do, they bring the Decepticon base down and beat them, sending the Cons fleeing.

In the aftermath and the quiet is when Smokescreen is finally able to explain and deliver the devastating news of Optimus' death. The whole time Smokescreen has just been just barely holding himself together. And unfortunately, all the inevitable questions ('why you?' 'what happened?' 'how?' etc...) finally break him and just has a breakdown. He doesn't KNOW why Prime or the Matrix chose him. He doesn't know what to do, how to lead. He's not even sure he wants this, not right now!

Yeah he wanted to be a great warrior like Optimus someday, he just hadn't realized that 'someday' would be 'right now, today'.

It's just so so much to take in and handle. And oh yeah, he DID have to watch his hero die in front of him, helpless and unable to save his life. That kinda fuckin sucks too. #smokescreenneedsabreak

I feel like Rachet would offer his sympathies, or at least a comforting pat on the back/shoulder for the younger bot who just, really really needs to sort himself out. Maybe tell him they'll figure this out together, he doesn't have to do this alone.

And I don't really have an ending aside from Smokescreen just, having to grapple with this massive change in his life and burden that's been placed upon his shoulders.

Maybe end with them giving Optimus Prime a funeral or w/e you do with a dead bot.

[raythekiller]

omggg the masky nsfw alphabet was 😍

how abt eyeless jack nsfw alphabet? maybe? :)

🦇 anon

🗒 ❛ NSFW Alphabet ༉‧₊˚✧

Featuring: Eyeless Jack

#Notes: THERE'S LIKE 4 OTHER PEOPLE ASKING FOR HIS NSFW ALPHABET IN MY INBOX, FINA YALL WILL WRITE IT 😭

pronouns used: none, gn! reader

˗ˏˋ back to navigation ´ˎ˗

A - AFTERCARE 

Will absolutely not let go of you. The whole act is so personal and intimate and important to him he can't help but want to hold you close.

B - BODY PART 

Pretty nonsexual, but your face. He just thinks you look so pretty, even if he can't see properly.

C - CUM 

Major breeding kink, will cum inside of you multiple times in a row until you're filled to the brim.

D - DIRTY SECRET 

He's never had actual sex before, most far he's ever gotten was a blowjob or two.

E - EXPERIENCE 

As mentioned above, not too experienced, but he makes up for it with his eagerness and will to satisfy you.

F - FAVORITE POSITION 

Mating press. He's able to thrust deeper, hold you close and stare at your face all at the same time.

G - GOOFY 

He gets into an animalistic state and is unable to speak, so humor isn't really that present.

H - HAIR 

Clean shaven, makes him feel more hygienic. It's darker than his hair.

I - INTIMACY

Again, unable to speak, but the way he's clinging to you like his life depends on it says it all.

J - JACK OFF

Barely does it at all, unless he's got someone on his mind, then he'll do it a couple times every week.

K - KINK

Here's a full post on his kinks.

L - LOCATION 

Definitely the bedroom, yours or his. Makes it more private and personal.

M - MOTIVATION 

Hates to admit it, but your scent drives him crazy. Even better if you're horny, since he can smell your arousal in the air. It's intoxicating.

N - NO

Either of you being tied up is a hard no. He doesn't like it on himself for obvious reasons (cult sacrifice) and doesn't like it on you cause he's afraid he might lose control and needs you to be able to get away from him if he does.

O - ORAL 

Definitely giving. Those tongues of his work miracles.

P - PACE

Starts off slow and sensual, becomes brutal and animalistic after a while.

Q - QUICKIE

Prefers taking his time with you, so quickies aren't really a thing you do often.

R - RISK 

Pretty vanilla when it comes to this. Doesn't like experimenting or doing anything risky, but might budge if you ask nicely.

S - STAMINA

Just doesn't get tired. Only stops when you beg him to, otherwise he's gonna be breeding you for days.

T - TOYS 

Doesn't own or like to use any. Just doesn't see the point in it.

U - UNFAIR

Ends up accidently teasing you with how much foreplay he does, but it's completely unintentional.

V - VOLUME

Barely moans, only growls and groans. His noises are deep and raspy, unlike his normally calm and gentle speaking voice.

W - WILD CARD 

Sometimes when you're away, he sneaks into your room and jerks himself off on your bed, inhaling your scent off the sheets and pillowcase.

X - X-RAY 

This motherfucker is big, almost 11 inches, although not too thick.

Y - YEARNING

His sex drive isn't normally high, but he has some "heat periods" to deal with where he gets extremely needy.

Z - ZZZ 

Waits for you to fall asleep first, just relishing in the fact that you trust and feel comfortable around him enough to be at your most vulnerable. Will drift off after with a smile on his face.