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#none of the antidepressants since fluoxetine decided it's over have done shit and even my psychiatrist now is always like 'hm. so do you
vincent-sinclair-deserved-better
·
20 days
Text
hm
thinking of my blorbos but not in a "i love you you love me all is well" way but a "i love you hope you kill me" way lol
#cylas vents
#negativity
#negative
#death wish
#lmao
#bitches be like '[potentially concerning thing]' and then add 'lol' as if it's funny or a joke lmao
#like i mean technically it's not but then again it is bc it's me. like yeah don't worry don't take this seriously don't mind me ok
#it doesn't really matter anyway kk. or maybe it's more like I'm the joke.
#like idk the thought that like most of my f/os would probably kill me on sight should be less comforting than it is i guess
#imagine casually making posts like this and still being like 'ok but maybe im not actually mentally ill maybe im faking maybe im lying to
#myself maybe im making excuses maybe im imagining things maybe im just lazy' etc etc
#none of the antidepressants since fluoxetine decided it's over have done shit and even my psychiatrist now is always like 'hm. so do you
#want to keep trying other things' and like yeah what else can i do? therapy didnt do anything for this specific issue and the tagesklinik
#lady didnt really seem to get my issue (well her suggestions for like therapy groups or whatever were more about socialising or whatever
#like ??? girl that's really not the main problem here lmao but she also did have a point about how i would have to actually go there every
#day etc but like
#what else am i supposed to do
#hi i am always tired and sometimes struggle to even get out of bed and thats why i worry about getting a job or something bc it could become
#too much or whatever but like unfortunately thats kind of a requirement for everything lmao
#when psychiatrist asks what i want/expect or whatever i am internally like 'a magic pill that just fixes everything and makes me a normal
#functional human being' but like that's just not A Thing (tm)
#so. like. what else am i supposed to do.
#i don't want to be like this forever
#idk how to tag lmai
#using stuff like
#tw suicidality
#tw suicidal
#tw suicidal ideation
#just feels so over the top and like i dont have the right to use them lol
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