#no shame to people nearly showing hole n shit on here. not what i'm using this website for

[saltinesinsoup]

WHY WAS THAT BLOG'S RECOMMENDED POST JUST A GUY NEARLY SHOWING HOLE. more specifically why was it recommended to ME

[salty-basement-shroom]

Midnight Meeting

◇Reader x alien◇

You woke up in the middle of the night to strange noises coming from the kitchen.

Of course you felt like pissing yourself, having an intruder in your home is a pretty shitty situation to be in after all.

Nevertheless, you walked over with the heaviest book you could find in your room, fully intending to whack whoever it is straight over the head.

Halting in the doorway, you saw that the light was on which is kinda strange for someone who wants to rob you with high probability.

When you saw who, or more so what was visiting you, you nearly dropped the book with a deafiningly loud thud.

There stood a 6 ft tall alien in your kitchen. How you knew it was an alien? The gray skin and space suit paired with the six violet eyes and inhumanly narrow features told you that much.

They were scanning a can of beans with some strange device and were making small clicking noises as if in deep thought.

You: ... ahem.

Alien: *flinches so hard, they fling the can of beans across the kitchen*

You both watch the can land on the ground with a loud clatter and roll around dejectedly.

You: So... Care explaining who you are and why you are scanning my beans?

The alien snaps their gaze towards you and his face, as different as it was to a human one, showed blatant bafflement and even shame.

Alien: I... this is the first time I am on this planet.

You: Well, welcome then, I guess. Still doesn't explain what you are doing in my kitchen at- *takes quick glance at clock on the wall* 3am in the morning.

Alien: Truth be told, I have no explanation for you other than that I randomly landed somewhere and wanted to stock up my codex entries.

You: ... codex?

The alien nodded and showed you the device, it reminded you of a poke dex.

They explained that they use it to scan different things that they come across in the galaxy. It sounded like a fun collecting game to you, but had probably actual usage other then wasting time.

You sauntered over to the can of beans and picked it up.

You: So, what's your name?

Alien: Chenko.

You: Weird name.

Chenko: Says the humam with strange canned liquidy vegetables in their kitchen.

You: Are beans even vegetables? And that is not even an insult!

Chenko: You started it.

You: You broke into my house!

Chenko: Well I said sorry, didn't I?

You: No, you actually didn't!

Chenko: Well sorry!

Silence settled after and you begrudgingly put the beans back into the pantry. Chenko watched you and when you closed the pantry you stared back at them with narrowed eyes.

You: You saw my beans, now you can leave. I'm tired.

Chenko huffed out some air through the small nostril holes and even had the gull to look insulted.

You: What's that look for, huh?

Chenko: I heard humans are supposed to be hospitable.

You: Whoever told you that is the biggest liar. Literally not true.

Chenko: Yeah, obviously. Thanks for confirming that.

You: .... oh come o n .

You groaned, feeling guilty all of a sudden for kicking them out. The book in your grasp landed on the dining table loudly and you sighed in defeat.

You: Alright, you win, what do you want?

Chenko ditched their pout for a knowing smirk that caused your spine and abdomen to tingle.

Chenko: I have something in mind. Always wanted to try it while on earth...

.

.

.

.

You: this is ridiculous

The alien beside you laughed in their own strange scratchy way as you both stood in the middle of a field of wheat.

The sun was slowly rising on the horizon and you both marveled at your work.

Chenko: Didn't think it would be that much work.

You: I don't even know what to say, why am I even here?

You had spend the last two hours of remaining darkness flatteneing the poor plants with showels into big circles.

You: Don't you have better methods of doing this?

Chenko: I don't know. I don't think my people do stupid shit like this when they come here. More of an Uccik thing to do.

You: Hm, yeah, sure.

You went along as if you knew what they were talking about. You had to admit, this was the weirdest night you ever had and you were tired as shit now.

Chenko chittered in delight, something you picked up they were doing when they were happy a lot.

Chenko: Well, that was fun. But I have to go now.

You: What, all of a sudden after using me for cheap labor you piss off?

Chenko ignored your remark and held a hand to their chest.

Chenko: It was wonderful getting to know you, I'll be sure to visit again!

You: Please don't.

Chenko: This won't be a farewell, more so a See you soon! You are a far better human than I had originally thought!

You: ... you broke into my house! How-

Chenko: Goodbye, until we see each other again!

After their sappy speech, they suddenly disappeared on the spot after pressing a button on the small console on their arm.

With that you were alone again.

Baffled you watched the beautiful sunrise over the wide fields and almost forgot that you have barely slept this night, got your house broken into by a rude alien, made corn circles with said alien, and now stood in the field of some random farmer in your pyjamas.

Almost.

You were also hoping to get railed by that asshole but they left you standing there, sad and lonely and tired, far away from home with no idea how to get back.

☆☆☆

》idk what the hell this is and where I was going, all I know is that it's 3 am here and I felt like writing random bs about some alien in your kitchen. You are welcome 👽《

Btw I was inspired by the aliens from sims 3, you don't know how many alien/human lesbians I had in this game already, oops