#no one is THAT leery and reluctant and eventually competent about doing something about it that hasn't done something about it before.often

[searchingforserendipity25]

choosing to believe lawrence and o'malley are like this all the time.

by which i mean: caught in a series of investigations led by the invisible guiding hand of the pope's machination, with the intent of asserting order and integrity in the church.

it's just that, usually? he had a lot of plausible deniability. built-in defense mechanism, in the shape of: his holiness told him to.

this has been ongoing for forever. it's just that usually the investigations are much lower stakes, and there is a thin veil of respectable procedure to it.

there had to be a thin veil of respectable procedure to it, otherwise lawrence goes a tad nauseous about it.

as someone extremely married to a belief in good faith, the cognitive dissonance of actively looking for cracks in the curia and dishonest conduct had to be carefully balanced with the fact that, actually, he was really, really good at looking for cracks in the curia and dishonest conduct.

that was no trouble, however, as his late holiness knew how best to make use of him regardless.

it's all well and good for him to want to believe himself to be tame and proper and harmless. but some men really don't want to admit they're blood hounds, even when they should.

indeed, his holiness was perfectly comfortable with manipulating matters so it really it was perfectly sensible to have the dean of the collage of cardinals dig into whoever leaked this or that, or chasing down a slow report that inevitable becomes a clue to a larger plot.

a pat in the hand and a few clear orders, and off he went. it was easier, once raymond o'malley came along. extraordinarily competent; personally invested in his his eminence, and full of a quiet, well-earned faith in his judgement in such matters.

lawrence was the sort of man who followed through on loose ends. there was a time when he sought them out, younger and earnest in his desire to accomplish a righteous task.

a time when he did not resent it at all. how easily it came, the urge and the clear line of marks - of incongruent lapses, small blights, small things to clear up under scrutiny for moral fault.

it had always been someone else's choice, someone else's power. that made a great deal of difference.

he was just the instrument of justice. could be counted on it, for execution and moral fiber; and he liked it just fine. he was excellent as a diplomat, patient, polite; he stopped disasters before they happened.

afterwards praying came easier. god's presence - it was always easier, when he had something to present him with.

sleepless nights; boils in his feet from long walks. a dented heart, where his trust in others was a little worn, or a little replenished, sometimes. it was best to pray, with a quest accomplished, presented in his heart like a sacrifice.

at some point in time, it stopped being enough. it did not feel like an accomplishment. he managed disasters, great or small, largely petty, mostly boring, always tiresome.

god had no business with that, he felt; god, he had to believe, could not be found in the minutiae, because the details were generally too ugly. he knelt to speak the words and they were no different in his mouth than when he spoke to say this nuncio was found to commit this fraud, this diocese is direly in need of overhaul.

such a detective, tommaso, the pope said, sometimes, not unfondly, at the end of a chase.

and then he sent him off to do something bureaucratic and uninteresting for some months, because he was, most of all, and as all agreed, a wise man.

longer, by the end. he was not an excessive man, his holiness. he knew when to conserve a good resource. every huntsman knows; you don't exhaust a good hunting dog with trifling games, when there's big quarry to be had when the seasons change.

the pope bet on them, and they never failed. and this worked, for one simple reason: lawrence could deliver confessions and information, but he was never the one who created bitterness himself.

there was a time, before the leash got too worn into the skin and he started to chafe at it, when lawrence was a manager with pride, with confidence. skirts flaring as he strode.

full of purpose, most of time; and a growing list of precise questions that were not doubts. a detective and a knight, a loyal servant to the bone. he did not question his orders; he did not question god, either.

such a detective, tommaso, the pope said, sometimes, not unfondly, not without some pride. you have a nose for it, you know, like the sheepdog i knew in the mountains when i was young.

even the best hunting hounds grow slow and old with time, and uncertain on their feet.

the pope counted on him, regardless, to follow the track and hunt down the wayward. he had trained him well enough, you see, to be certain of it.

[soufiansfn]

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