#no i'm not replying to this a day late shush it's still halloween until december 25

[talentforlying]

@normaltothemax: The kids brought pumpkins, John. They want to carve them, John. Give Lucy a knife, John. — HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

oh yeah, he's just going to hand a knife to the child antichrist on the spookiest day of the year. that'll happen.

. . . actually it does happen, because there's too many of them for him to carve-by-instruction one at a time, and he's got pumpkin guts up to the elbow that he desperately needs to wash the fuck off him before they start reminding him of something worse, and if he has to spend longer than an hour getting henpecked by phee for not meeting her exact jack-o-lantern specifications, he might strangle arthur parnassus in the street. but actual kitchen knives are well off the table ( and well out of sight at that, he's wise to your levitating ways, lucy ) and the rest of the arsenal is mostly switchblades and screwdrivers. those aren't so bad, right?

yeah, alright, he gave the super-powered children knives — except the one who turns into a dog when he's scared, because constantine isn't that stupid — but he's watching them like a hawk, mostly, so it's fine. the carvings will come out great. there's a handful of sweets on offer and oingo boingo on the stereo. surely he won't get a near-shave haircut from an overenthusiastic muppet with an overactive imagination and telepathic abilities before the night is out.

right, lucy?