#no i totally didn't spend like a half hour going through texts with grace just to find all the sk8 headcanons i sent her wHAT
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sk8 headcanons because i am Bored
autistic langa likes frozen fruit a lot—strawberries are his favorite—because he likes the cool texture
reki has lip freckles that really stand out after he’s been in the sun a lot ! there’s like four or five of them :)
just thinking about “all those friday nights / under the lights / under the bleachers together / you and i were meant to be something more than a faded memory / till you and i / something divided us” but matchablossom,,,
“but i’ve already lost it once / what i already won / i’ve lost too much now to care / but i know that something’s still there” ,,, matchablossom,,, ahhhhh
miya and shadow being besties,,, shadow being miya’s parental figure and miya being his adopted nb child,,,
shadow being the first person miya comes out as nonbinary to,,,
adam going to jail,,,
reki having a stuffed animal collection and letting miya name some and then realizing that miya never had a stuffed animal growing up so reki gives miya one of his older ones that he loved as a child and then buys them a new one too… and miya asks reki to name it for them because sentiments,,,
after seeing the girl he had a crush on kiss someone else, shadow takes out his feelings on the only thing he knows how to—skating at s but he’s not in a good mind and he feels sick because he thought he thought he thought he had a chance and he doesn’t pay close enough attention and gets hurt and miya calls him an idiot and patches him up and shadow feels like a kid again but it’s kind of nice to have someone else actually help with his wounds instead of just attempting to wash them and then cover them with makeup by himself,,,
joe and shadow bonding over hating the feeling of loneliness so they make up for it the only way they know how which is being loud and being extra because they don’t feel as lonely if they’re loud
reki, miya, and cherry = adhd club
cherry and reki drawing together… and reki teaching cherry how to be more loose and carefree when he draws and cherry teaching reki how to add more structure to his art,,,
langa stealing and wearing reki’s headbands,,,
langa with glasses
reki’s sisters doing cherry and joe’s hair,,, or even reki, langa, and miya doing their hair and shadow just watches and takes pictures and reki puts cherry’s hair in fishtails because he had practice with his sisters and cherry secretly likes it (and so does joe) and miya and langa just. completely messing up joe’s hair and putting hair clips in it and langa attempts a ponytail kind of like how cherry does his hair at s (and no cherry did Not find it very attractive shut up)
shadow being a scrapbooker and having like ten scrapbooks from his life,,,
shadow not being as good of an artist as cherry or reki but he does it because he enjoys it and when cherry and reki find out they invite him to draw with them
the crew / sk8 fam all going to shadow’s house and doing a couple scrapbook pages together and it’s a mess but it’s them and it’s one of shadow’s favorite pages because he’s never scrapbooked with anyone before
langa is just naturally beautiful and photogenic so the art squad always asks him to model for them if they want to draw people
joe has depression because i want him to
and shadow has anxiety
because i do Not want any of them to be neurotypical
yeah so joe has depression, shadow has anxiety, cherry has add and anxiety, miya had adhd and separation anxiety, langa is autistic, reki has tourette’s and adhd and depression ✌🏻
when miya gets old enough, shadow gets them a part time job at the flower shop
miya likes a lot of pillows
langa sleeps with no pillows (unless reki is partially his pillow)
thinking about after reki’s second beef with adam,,, joe after he tells adam off and they’re away from the crowd, he passes out because let’s be real—there is absolutely no way he didn’t get injured and the worse one is probably a broken nose and a huge gash at the back of his head with like skin peeling and stuff like need stitches so the gang all goes to cherry’s and they help patch reki up
somewhere in that time the love hotel gets brought up and by extension getting hit by the car and getting beat up and joe and shadow are on the verge of slamming their heads against the wall at reki’s nonchalantness
and reki’s p injured so he’s laying in the couch with his head resting in langa’s lap,,,
joe tells everyone embarrassing cherry stories from school like all the time (but joe was a foolish child so cherry gets revenge)
miya likes crime documentaries
joe unironically watched supernatural and that’s part of the reason why he and cherry broke up
(maybe joe just thought dean was attractive—sue him!)
lol wait what if cherry sued adam to pay for reki’s medical bills since they inevitably had to take him to the hospital
cherry constantly tells joe that he will sue him
joe may unironically watched spn, but cherry unironically watched glee
langa wrote destiel fanfiction once upon a time
langa wrote cas bakes dean a pie--
miya is carla’s favorite (after cherry)
cherry and langa with weighted blankets also
sometimes reki steals langa’s but only if he stays the night or langa brings it over and usually if he “steals” it, it’s them sharing it or reki needs the comfort of the weight if he’s not having a good time mentally lol
joe with depression,,, i just think about that a lot sometimes,,, sometimes cooking feels meaningless and, like langa, he only feels something when he skates but it’s only this temporary feeling of joy and life,,,
and shadow with anxiety,,, over-compensating his anxiety by being shadow at night and being over the top and sometimes mean because internalized ableism,,, and if he pretends he doesn’t have anxiety then maybe he won’t feel it late at night or when everything seems to go wrong during a shift at work and he keeps dropping flowers because his hands are shaking and girls don’t like guys with anxiety, right ??? so shadow thinks that he CAN’T have anxiety :/// poor dude
miya with separation anxiety pushing people away before they get attached because if they push them away before they become friends, then they wouldn’t be able to leave them,,,
langa always bouncing his foot in class and all the time because it’s his main form of stimming (look at that boy and try to tell me he doesn’t bounce his legs like there’s no tomorrow i dare you) and sometimes it makes his legs sore and cherry and joe once recommended using a heating pad if it got really sore and langa does sometimes and it makes him happy
reki with ts having anxiety when he has to speak in front of the class / do presentations because he’s hyper-aware of his tics,,, so he always meets langa’s eyes and watches langa the whole time and langa sometimes mimes taking deep breaths which really helps but honestly just seeing langa makes reki feel like he can do anything (because he would do anything for langa)
cherry doodling to stim as a child and always getting in trouble for it because teachers used to like get pissed when students doodled (or maybe they still do and it’s just always been pissy teachers and not specifically teachers when our parents were kids) and eventually cherry got fed up with getting points docked for doodling so he started writing lists and stuff and been realized he had impeccable handwriting (also joe let cherry doodle on his hand during classes they had together so cherry wouldn’t get in trouble)
cherry once had a dream that he was rachel berry and joe was finn uhh *insert last name here* from glee and joe had a beautiful voice when they sang duets in his dream so he managed to convince joe to sing in reality and turns out joe cannot sing and cherry’s glee dreams were never the same (look i am tired lol)
joe likes being the strong one in the group and he enjoys being able to mess around / show off by just casually picking people up (he also does it as an expression of love because they’re basically hugs depending on how he holds you) and one day cherry is like… done with it ??? and just strolls up to joe and just throws him over his shoulder or something and joe combusts because he did Not know cherry can do that and no his face isn’t red shut up he doesn’t find this attractive what’re you talking about
miya wants a sword and keeps trying to convince everyone to get them one for their birthday but no one will agree because ‘they’ll hurt themselves and everyone else it does not matter that all your favorite characters have swords that does not mean You should have one’
langa is the kind of person that puts peanut butter on a cheeseburger
reki’s love language is a mix of gift giving and acts of service, but he tends to lean more towards giving gifts. his receiving love language is words of affirmation but he does Not know that yet (langa does—hence his constant “you’re amazing, reki”—and eventually so does the rest of their gang lol)
shadow likes theatre
miya has internet friends,,, so does cherry,,,
joe posts those affirmations on his story all the time
reki’s texts are sometime hard to read because a) his hands get injured a lot and b) tourette’s but langa (and soon the others) learn how to read reki texts
langa sleeps with a fan on for white noise
shadow was worried (and feeling a little left out but if he doesn’t acknowledge it, then that emotion is not real… that’s how that works, right???) since he was in the hospital when reki skated against adam the second time, so when they all went back to cherry’s to tend to reki’s numerous wounds and also celebrate friendship, miya kept shadow on a face time call the entire evening
langa has an android phone
reki is super comfortable with periods because he lives with five girls—he also usually has a couple of pads and tampons on him at all times because he’s the older sibling lol
langa wears socks with sandals,,, so does shadow,,,
shadow’s feet get cold easily so he wears fluffy socks a lot
cherry keeps his fingernails at the perfect length to dramatically tap them against the table (also to freak people out by doing that)
miya is Not a morning person
miya also likes having the windows to shadow’s car rolled up because their hair gets in their face otherwise but shadow likes them down so it’s this constant struggle
i still stand by cherry suing ad*m and using the money he won to pay for reki’s medical bills (… and shadow’s… and langa’s if he needs any)
i just feel like many people have reason to sue ad*m
ponytail langa rights
joe had really bad acne as a child and teen and cherry helped him feel less self-conscious about it and helped him embrace having acne and that’s one reason why he exposes so much skin as joe because it’s a reminder of personal growth <3
also joe has acne scars on his chin and cheeks
joe has cherry’s calligraphy all over his walls
ik i already said so in reki with ts headcanons but he doodles pictures for everyone in the sk8 fam and they all keep each and every one and shadow even puts them in his scrapbook
let langa punch adam 2k21
let reki punch adam 2k21
actually they All deserve to punch adam 2k21
miya’s favorite movie is coraline
langa can’t snap his fingers
joe and cherry always argue over whether even numbers or odd numbers are best
miya does esports
joe was in marching band and was in drumline
cherry stays up late to look at the stars and he had those plastic stars taped to his ceiling as a child
reki eats tomatoes like apples and it makes joe want to cry
okay if the atla & and the sk8 characters became internet friends… these are who i think they’d be internet friends with…
cherry: katara
joe: suki
langa: sokka
miya: aang
reki: zuko
shadow: toph
note: suki, joe, miya, and aang are all actually besties. aang is the kind of person that would usually annoy miya but they just can’t dislike aang no matter how much he may want to and they somehow find themselves attached
but suki and miya would also get along really well because I know they would and aang and joe would just have fun and like it’s what they deserve so they are interchangeable / all besties
also sk8 characters if they were benders...
cherry: fire or waterbender,,, cannot decide
joe: earthbender
langa: waterbender
miya: firebender
reki: resident nonbender
shadow: earthbender
#corey rambles:)#i have a lot of feelings#also i am really bored#no i totally didn't spend like a half hour going through texts with grace just to find all the sk8 headcanons i sent her wHAT#i should be doing homework but uhhh instead i am thinking about Them#it's fine everything is fine the day isn't over yet but it will be over soon keep it together twilight keep it together--#anyways this was brought to you by corey = bored#sk8 headcanons#kyan reki with tourette’s#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#higa hiromi#chinen miya#sakurayashiki kaoru#nanjo kojiro#sk8 langa#sk8 reki#sk8shadow#sk8 miya#sk8 cherry#sk8 joe#y'all idk what to do i might just write fanfiction#at least i'm bored in my apt and not in the er hahhahhahhhahahahha wednesday#maybe i'll make some tater tots#oh and i stand by the glee and spn one#i am not wrong#joe had a crush on dean winchester#anyways i'll stop talking to myself in the tags#lol#wait i will also die on scrapbooking shadow hill
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real gods require blood
All gods who receive homage are cruel. All gods dispense suffering without reason. Otherwise they would not be worshipped. Through indiscriminate suffering men know fear and fear is the most divine emotion. It is the stones for altars and the beginning of wisdom. Half gods are worshipped in wine and flowers. Real gods require blood. - Zora Neale Hurston
- zeus inspo - hera inspo - poseidon inspo - demeter inspo - athena inspo - apollo inspo - artemis inspo - ares inspo - aphrodite inspo - hephaestus inspo - hermes inspo - hestia inspo - dionysus inspo - persephone inspo - hades inspo - modern gods inspo used in blurbs
first thing's first: everyone in this ad should be between the ages of 22 and 27 with the exception of persephone who should be 22 - 24 and demeter who should be 25 - 27. genderbending is okay with me as long as you run it by me first because i don't want to have a million girls, i want it to be fairly balanced. everything said below should be taken with a grain of salt meaning if you put your own spin on it that is totally fine, the inspo is what matters.
additionally, only one or two characters should be from chicago, because the group is a group of people who are imports to the city and the life they have here so please do with that idea what you will. i did link to some cool pinterest boards with some inspo for a modern take on all of the different gods if you want to look at those but again, it's just for inspiration, please please please make every single one of these guys your own.
now, for the actual ad, basically these guys are something of a found family. through their jobs, parties, socializing, exes, currents, whatever they all met and it was almost instant, that connection, that 'feels like i've known you my whole life' thing that came over them. and so they stuck together, even if it was just a group text or once a year dinner party, they've all stayed in touch ever since despite distance, work, time constraints, and anything else that came between them.
the first pair that met and really started it all were aphrodite and ares. they were on again off again, always a problem with time and where their lives were at, but the love is there. they've been friends since their time in school together and it never let up, that care. the rest of the group swear one day aphrodite will find a way to settle down and be with ares but for now ares deals with the on again off again because sometimes is better than never. and then aphrodite found god here, and another one, and their interconnections grew the group and now here they are, family without being blood, with ties running through them, cutting and caressing them all the same.
from there, feel free to just get with me and we can make it work. i'm going to be making a ship developer for them (including a timeline because it seems necessary so that we have some idea on who, what, when, and how) but the basis is a found family plot with interconnections that made this many people come to mean so much to one another. from there? go wild, get with me on any questions, and please have fun with it. some suggestions for interconnections are below in the applicable boxes but if you don't want to use them just talk to me.
and lastly... if you want to add a god who isn't listed please just let me know! give me a little blurb and we can make this happen. remember the slight dystopian feel and the modern twist but like... yes, please, let's do this, i'm here for it. thanks!!
ZEUS. OPEN.
zeus drinks himself half to death at a bar. he no longer cares for mortals. he has long stopped trying to make this world turn.
suggestions: brother to poseidon and hades. married to hera. enters polyship with hera and hestia after cheating scandal. himbo energy.
HERA. OPEN.
hera no longer praises marriage. instead she talks to the women. she tells them that men always lie, tells them to run. she wishes she could take her own advice.
suggestions: married to zeus. enters polyship with zeus and hestia after cheating scandal. better than you.
POSEIDON. RESERVED FOR TESSA.
poseidon still loves the sea but he could not hate mortals more. he feels the pollution of his domain like a phantom pain, raging that he could not protect his oceans from mortals.
suggestions: brother to zeus and hades. has a crush on demeter. moods like the sea.
DEMETER. RESERVED FOR LUNA.
demeter isn't peaceful. she feels the dying of the earth and with it goes her happiness. she curses the mortals who caused this.
suggestions: older sister of persephone. doesn't approve of hades. has a crush on poseidon. the mom friend.
ATHENA. OPEN.
athena chainsmokes in an alleyway, and glares at ares as bloody knuckles and booted feet connect with battered bodies between them. the fight clubs are their temples now.
suggestions: business partners with hephaestus (queer solidarity, y'all). just doing her best. definitely sapphic. possibly once had a thing with aphrodite.
APOLLO. RESERVED FOR THOMAS.
you find apollo in a nightclub on 55th and 3rd, his prophets writhing in intermittent darkness, bassline pounding in their ears, liqour coursing in their veins, smoke and strobe lights clouding their eyes.
suggestions: twin brother of artemis. pansexual and everyone knows it. always chasing the next high, running from the lows. in a secret relationship with hermes.
ARTEMIS. RESERVED FOR DAPHNE.
artemis spends the night in a jail cell, blood on her knuckles and on her shirt and in her mouth, the smell of metal lingering in the air.
suggestions: twin sister of apollo. sapphic pls. the protector meets the vodka aunt. possibly once had a thing with aphrodite.
ARES. RESERVED FOR KITT.
you watch as ares starts a fight in a dive bar, takes a knife from his pocket and uses it without flinching, smiles as he wipes his blade on his thigh, smashes a bottle on the floor and lights a match.
suggestions: on again off again with aphrodite. in love with aphrodite. not currently with aphrodite. just a boy, made of rage and the inability to express his emotions. looks like he'll kick your ass, will pull athena and artemis off of you in a fight, exhausted that he has to yet again. also requested here.
APHRODITE. FREYA WILDER, ATHENA.
aphrodite drinks your worship straight from your lips and chases it with a scotch, crashes a cigarette, flicks the ash on the floor and leaves without so much as a thank you.
suggestions: on again off again with ares. in love with ares. running from ares. most likely to have slept with everyone in the group, twice. intimacy issues? i do know her. i know her so well. someone help.
HEPHAESTUS. OPEN.
you find hephaestus on college campuses, amongst engineering students. in times like this he is more relevant than ever, growing whilst other gods die. it seems that aphrodite is more keen on accepting his gifts now more than ever.
suggestions: business partners with athena (queer solidarity, y'all). once had a thing with aphrodite. a serious thing. didn't end well. they're totes okay now, for sure, yeah, definitely, mhm. patience is a virtue. stubborn pride is a gift. also requested here.
HERMES. RESERVED FOR TONE.
hermes is in the hustle and bustle of rush hour and the rush of the subway. he is perched atop skyscrapers, surveying the beautiful chaos of it all and lo, it is good.
suggestions: brother to hestia. in a secret relationship with dionysus apollo. running to and for, never from. chaotic good gremlin energy. do not feed after midnight. possibly once had a thing with aphrodite.
HESTIA. OPEN.
hestia mourns broken homes, she waits for her family. she waits in the doorway, arms outstretched and a smile like forgiveness waiting to embrace the siblings whom she know will never return.
suggestions: sister to hermes. pretends she doesn't know about dionysus apollo. doesn't approve of dionysus apollo. enters polyship with zeus and hera after cheating scandal. the mediator. why can't we all just get along?
DIONYSUS. OPEN.
dionysus shoots up in a basement in the seedy side of town. he wants to forget the suffering that has filled his immortal life.
suggestions: in a secret relationship with hermes. "gotta stay high, all the time, to keep you off my mind". heart of gold but no one ever seems to believe it. here for a fun time, not a long time, but thinking about that too much hurts.
PERSEPHONE. RESERVED FOR ARI.
persephone grins when people tremble. she is vengeful and wears flowers in her hair and she will make damn sure that the world will never forget her name.
suggestions: younger sister of demeter. in love with hades. she's beauty, she's grace. she'll punch you in the face.
HADES. OPEN.
hades stalks the streets, hazy in the fog of the streetlamps, and he smiles, because people will always believe in death and worship riches.
suggestions: brother to zeus and poseidon. in love with persephone. can you say trauma? secretly the most well rounded and good hearted of them all. how are you so pure, bro? who sent you?
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Jimmy & Janis
Jimmy: Afternoon Janis: Just about Janis: Won't tell anyone you didn't hit me up with the coveted Morning text, like Jimmy: No need when I'm there to do it in person Jimmy: Just use your imagination when you tell 'em how I woke you up Janis: 😏 Why bother when they so ready to do it themselves, like Janis: #yourinfluence obvs Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: Yours is that the 🐶 won't shut up 'bout you #real love 💕 Janis: Dog, yeah? Janis: Not heard that one before Jimmy: Alright, you rumbled me, my sister too Jimmy: But what the dog's saying is nicer Janis: 😂 Janis: I did forget to invite her along, to be fair Janis: Forgetfulness gotta be catching 'cos Mia totally wanted to idk Janis: wax my bikini line or something, apparently Jimmy: I know this is fake but your dirty talk needs some work, mate Jimmy: Good to know that shit does happen at sleepovers though Janis: Grow up dickhead �� Janis: probably try recreate game of thrones and pour it on my head, no thanks Janis: can't make that sexy, no matter how many dragons I add to the story, soz Jimmy: Niche reference 👍 Jimmy: I rolled up to say tah for not being a dickhead anyway Jimmy: It all went to plan Janis: You're definitely that kinda nerd, don't lie Janis: Duh Janis: 🥇 Janis: I told you Jimmy: Piss off am I Jimmy: You can't pretend that you don't know how cool I am now, Joan Janis: What, 'cos you took me to the pub I suggested Janis: Okay 😏 Jimmy: 'cause I didn't make a holy show of myself as you Irish call it Jimmy: at the pub you suggested Janis: You were alright Janis: Not too unbearable, like Jimmy: I love you too, baby 😘 Janis: 🖕 Idiot Jimmy: What you doing tonight? Jimmy: We should be seen together so people don't reckon I got what I wanted and that's it Janis: Or you were that shit I've had to ghost you Jimmy: Nobody's thinking that Janis: Alright ego 😜 Janis: but I'm up for doing something, long as it's not totally shit Jimmy: Is there like a party or something going on? Jimmy: More people the better, I reckon Janis: Undoubtedly Janis: I'll ask my cousin, not everyone he knows is a total prick Janis: up for the challenge, yeah? 💪 Jimmy: Like you said 🥇 Janis: 👍 I've hit him up, let you know the where and when Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I'm on a half day so don't matter Jimmy: Time to make myself look #goals Janis: Sick Janis: weren't too dead were ya? Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: You? Janis: Good Janis: 'Course not Janis: Lazy rich bitch anyway so you know Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: tah for saying it so I don't 'ave to Janis: Please, you're so gutted Jimmy: Maybe Jimmy: You'll just have to cheer me up tonight Janis: Yeah? Janis: Easy Jimmy: Easy for you to say now, yeah Jimmy: We haven't faked it for that long before Janis: Have a little faith Janis: 'less you're planning to make it hard for me or Jimmy: It'd be more fun but we've got a deal Jimmy: So don't fuck it up & I won't Janis: Fine 🙄 Jimmy: Saving your enthusiasm? 👍 Janis: Yeah Janis: basically got 16 years worth saved up, hope you're ready Jimmy: Challenge accepted, Jillian Janis: That's the worse one yet Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: I won't use it when anyone can hear me, don't worry Jimmy: What's your name again though? Janis: You testing me Janis: watch me turn up looking like a bag of shit now Janis: enjoy, wanker Jimmy: Watch me 😍😍😍 even harder for it Jimmy: You're not gonna beat me, babe Janis: So am Jimmy: Like I said, easy to say now Jimmy: Harder to do when I'm chaining 🚬 to put you off Janis: 😒 I've handled worse Jimmy: I don't need your exes list, Judy Janis: Short list Janis: . Janis: like Jimmy: What? Jimmy: You only fake date Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Fuck off Janis: I don't date Janis: waste of time Jimmy: Can be Janis: Is Jimmy: Pete'll be gutted Jimmy: Still, if you're as good in bed for real as you are when it's fake, decent consolation Janis: I'm sure Janis: aside from he probably fancies you more than he does me Jimmy: Me too, he's been name dropping you all shift 💕 Jimmy: Wrong again, Jennifer Janis: Lies Jimmy: I didn't know who he meant for half of it Jimmy: but yeah Janis: Brilliant Janis: Good thing he's not our target demo then isn't it Jimmy: No offense, Janis Jimmy: ain't my fault he don't know you Janis: Why would he Janis: He's like year above ain't he, idk Jimmy: How would I know? Jimmy: Not the one crushing on him Janis: You do keep bringing him up Janis: if you needed a beard, like Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: What do you wanna talk about then? Janis: [Party deets] Janis: There you go, can plan your outfit now Jimmy: What time do you wanna show up? Janis: Later the better, init Janis: make a scene but also, don't have to spend too much time surrounded by idiots Jimmy: You just know you can't hack faking being my girlfriend for too long Jimmy: but 👌 Janis: Bitch I can go all night Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: You'd be stretched to do an hour Janis: Bollocks Janis: When do YOU wanna go then? Jimmy: I'd go right now if they'd have me Jimmy: Better than being stuck at the CG Janis: N'awh, you really know how to make a girl feel special, babe 😘 Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: I'll do it tonight Jimmy: Do your best to wait patiently, Jodie Janis: 🖕 Do yours to keep up Janis: can't be too late if you gotta leave 9 though, are you sure Janis: lowkey might not even start before then Jimmy: I've sorted it with Cass Jimmy: I can be out as late as we need to get this done Janis: Didn't know it was her calling the curfew not your Da Janis: but makes sense, tbh Janis: cool then Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: He don't call any shots Jimmy: But someone's gotta look after my brother & he don't worry 'bout that either Janis: I wasn't trying to be funny about it Jimmy: Decent effort then 'cause you weren't Janis: Alright Janis: sorry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: meet there? Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Let me know when Janis: k Jimmy: [Later] Jimmy: They want me to work over Jimmy: when are we going? Janis: Oh, don't worry then if it's gonna be too much hassle Jimmy: It's only a couple more hours Janis: When are you getting off now? Jimmy: 4.30 Jimmy: but I got some shit to do when I leave here Jimmy: part of Cass' bargain Janis: 👍 good girl Janis: anything i can help with or you alright Jimmy: you can get the dog out Jimmy: know you'd both love that 💕 Janis: Sure thing Janis: use the extra steps myself anyway Jimmy: Come and get my keys whenever Janis: Are the kids gonna be about Janis: they could come with, if they would Jimmy: you can ask 'em if you're feeling brave Janis: Just an idea Janis: might run off some energy lowkey exhaust the dog and them, like Jimmy: I reckon it's a good one Jimmy: They might not Janis: I'll try Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: If they're dickheads, text me Janis: Don't worry, I've got millions of cousins and shit, I know how to not get 'em killed or I wouldn't offer Jimmy: Weren't worried 'bout 'em Jimmy: Just you Janis: Oi Janis: I'm no soft-touch Jimmy: Only got your word for that, mate Janis: 😑 Janis: Proof'll be how well-trained this dog is Jimmy: You ain't got long enough for that Jimmy: I'm not fake dating you for years tah Janis: Christ no Janis: crash course, I'm that good Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: as long as you're more convincing tonight Janis: Name a time I haven't been Janis: everyone's buying it so hard Jimmy: I told you, that was lowest tier shit Jimmy: You have to pretend to like me for longer than a make out sesh Janis: I keep telling you I can, damn Janis: Can't prove it 'til we're there, can I? Jimmy: Alright, calm down Jimmy: take some pics on your walk, really milk how domestic we are Janis: Done Janis: she's very photogenic Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: you can date her for real when this is over Janis: You're giving me her in the fake breakup, yeah? Janis: Cheers Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: means you gotta give me something Jimmy: get thinking Janis: can I interest you in Grace? Janis: know what you're thinking, literally defeats the point Janis: but she just looking for a new fam Janis: bitch for a bitch Jimmy: nah tah Jimmy: One sister's enough Janis: Shit Janis: I got 3 Janis: worst luck Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: violin solo for each Janis: Grace is more like a fucking triangle solo Jimmy: brutal Jimmy: I don't reckon there's an emoji for that though 💔 Janis: 🃏 Janis: really lacking on the emoji front Janis: gutted, gonna complain Jimmy: get it done, Joanne Janis: talk to twitter whilst i'm there Janis: your account not dead now? Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: I ain't checked Janis: Bummer Janis: no new nudes for me 💔 Jimmy: I'll streak through the party Jimmy: make an entrance Janis: 😂 Janis: Twat Janis: There's no pretending to be 😍 over public indecency Jimmy: try harder then, dickhead Jimmy: thought you were 🥇 Janis: I don't want everyone to reckon I'm actually derranged, like Janis: be normal, Taylor Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you know, one of us has to Jimmy: I get it, you don't reckon you won't be overcome with lust at the sight of me actually naked Jimmy: head in the game, girl Janis: 'Course Janis: who wouldn't be Janis: turning it into a casual orgy Jimmy: Mia maybe Jimmy: You're more her type Janis: Ugh don't Janis: idk what her problem really is Janis: 'cept she wants to wear my skin Jimmy: she's jealous Janis: Nah Janis: she's an only child and her daddy gives her everything so she's rolling in it Jimmy: but 'til he gives her money for surgery you're prettier than her Jimmy: & now you've got me so 🗡 Janis: Don't fuck her, yeah? Janis: It must be how she gets her power 'cos she's got no interest in actually being with you, she just has a list of like every boy in Dublin or some shit she's working through Jimmy: even if she has surgery, I have standards, I told you Janis: Good Janis: even if you're a bit of a prick, hate to see you go like that Janis: 🐍 eat you when she's done Jimmy: I'd rather my 🍆 stays attached to me Jimmy: more use than my head Janis: What's more #bae Janis: agree or disagree? 🤔 Jimmy: take it to a twitter poll Janis: I think they've got a bias rn though, after that pic Janis: say something dead brainy, babe Jimmy: too northern for that Jimmy: do it for me & say I did Janis: It's weird when you're #humble Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: gonna fuck with you when you find out that's the real me Janis: Coulda kept that in the vault, I'd never know Jimmy: Like I said, you'd find out Janis: You not planning on deleting me when this is all over then? Jimmy: Probably but there's still this thing called IRL Jimmy: Can't bin school off yet Janis: Oh, where I'm at my most social, 'course Janis: you barely knew I existed 'til now I think we'll be fine 😏 Jimmy: Don't be gutted Jimmy: I know your name now & everything Janis: Yeah was so sat there praying for the day Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: what are you actually gonna wear Janis: not saying we should be THAT fake couple and co-ord but Jimmy: hadn't given it any real thought Jimmy: what's the party dress code in leprechaun land? Janis: depends who you are and who they are Janis: don't wanna be try hard Janis: probably can't show up in my gym clothes, though Jimmy: who am I & who are they, babe? Janis: you know who you are Janis: leather jackets ain't just for your baes, obviously Janis: idk who this kid is exactly but he lives in a normal neighbourhood so he's not like dead posh or anything Jimmy: there's your answer then Jimmy: easy 😍 Jimmy: only challenge is me finding the place Janis: I better hang about then after I've walked the dog Janis: probably more #goals to go together anyway Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: smoothie? Jimmy: You should eat so you don't get dead drunk again Janis: 'Scuse me Janis: I was not Jimmy: You were Jimmy: & don't bring a jacket so you can wear mine that's gotta be #goals Janis: Just mad it went unnoticed that I was in the dog walking 'gram Janis: too 💕 for them all, baby Jimmy: just don't get as pissed tonight Jimmy: you might let everyone know how you really feel Janis: You ain't my Dad Jimmy: Nah, I'm your fake boyfriend & I'd like it if you didn't out us Jimmy: that's it Janis: I'm not going to because I wasn't even drunk and I won't be tonight Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: if you're gonna chat shit, I've got work to do Janis: I don't wanna chat to you anyway if you're gonna be shady Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Shady? Am I also slim 😂 Jimmy: top lingo, Janet Janis: 😒 you are that white Jimmy: take it up with my dad Janis: When can we have our first fake fight 'cos you're asking for it today, like Jimmy: a bit soon unless you wanna do a really hot makeup makeout Janis: Who'd want that? Janis: Shame Jimmy: the fans Janis: True Janis: but you said I've gotta show I can stand you when you ain't rocking my world so Jimmy: & you've gotta show you want me too more than just a once off Janis: Don't want much, do ya? Jimmy: It ain't about what I want Janis: You know what I mean Jimmy: I know you keep saying you'll do this easy Jimmy: So stop whinging Janis: I ain't Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you liked whelan's then, yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll probably go back Janis: good Janis: i knew you would, it's alright Jimmy: seeing as you know me so well you can find me a real girl to date when this is over Janis: ha Janis: jog on Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: go on Jimmy: it'd be a laugh to see who you'd pick if nowt else Janis: not a dyke, remember? Jimmy: didn't say you had to join in with us, did I? Janis: shut up Janis: what do i know about girls Janis: not a real one, am i Jimmy: what do you reckon you are then? My dream Jimmy: Piss off Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: you're real Janis: You said it, not me Jimmy: What? Janis: 'you can find me a real girl to date' Jimmy: I meant a girl to not fake date Janis: whatever Jimmy: come on, Janis Janis: don't matter Janis: forget it Jimmy: don't wanna Janis: don't be a dick Janis: if you didn't mean it you didn't Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: So don't you be a dickhead Janis: What the fuck have I done? Jimmy: acting shady Jimmy: to use your top lingo Janis: 😑 you clearly don't know what that means Jimmy: nah I don't Jimmy: it's bollocks Jimmy: reckon you made it up just then Janis: not that deep undercover than we need our own language Jimmy: good 'cause I ain't sure I'd keep up Jimmy: proper cryptic you Irish Janis: 🖕 Janis: how's that for cryptic? Janis: gobshite Jimmy: 😂 Janis: I'm not finding you a girlfriend Janis: Ruin your own life Jimmy: Alright, leave me to my own devices so I can find another girl who prefers old blokes Jimmy: on your head Janis: If it keeps you from becoming a baby daddy, aren't I doing you/the world a massive service, really, like Jimmy: if that keeps you warm, mate, tell yourself it Jimmy: I'll be shivering 'cause left out in the cold 🎻 Janis: Catch me and Pete laughing at you whilst we fuck on a huge pile of money in our mcmansion Janis: #thedream Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: I've seen him concentrating when he makes a latte I don't need to think about his face when he's going at it Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: get in his inbox to live that dream Janis: Can't be having my fake mans and real in the same place Janis: mixing business and pleasure always a no Jimmy: he won't say owt Jimmy: tell him you're down to cheat Janis: thanks for your permission 😂 Jimmy: don't care, do I? Jimmy: just keep it off the 'gram Janis: You might have endless faith in him but I don't Janis: everyone knows everyone's business around here 🙄 Jimmy: if you cheat I ain't lost owt Jimmy: go on Jimmy: save me a break up Janis: I don't think so Janis: I get to come out of this looking good, that was part of the deal Jimmy: We can change it easy Jimmy: & anyway who says pete ain't a trade up Janis: Nah Janis: Deal's a deal, I'm sticking to my side of it Jimmy: You've done it Jimmy: been proven those girls ain't my type Janis: If that was true we wouldn't be going tonight Janis: we ain't done here Jimmy: we ain't done for you Jimmy: but if you reckon you've got a better offer, take it Janis: Don't use this as an excuse Janis: you know I don't Jimmy: an excuse for what? Janis: For not wanting to help me out now we've sorted your side of it out Jimmy: I've said I'll do it Jimmy: like I said, not about what I want Janis: I know you don't want it alright Janis: it doesn't have to be much longer Jimmy: just don't fuck Pete Jimmy: I still have to work with him Jimmy: & I don't want the pisstake Janis: I'm not going to Janis: I've literally not spoken to him before Jimmy: then don't speak to him Janis: Um bit far, am I only allowed to order smoothies from you? Jimmy: CG isn't the only shit coffee shop around Jimmy: why come in after this? Janis: so I'm banned now, jesus Janis: fine Janis: I don't even drink coffee Jimmy: I can't ban you Jimmy: not the manager Janis: but you would if you could? Janis: well that's lovely Jimmy: so you would come in for coffee & a chat after I've fake dumped you? 👌 Janis: You're actually such a prick Janis: 1. I'M dumping YOU Janis: 2. You were actually serious that you're gonna delete me? Avoid me forever too? Very mature Jimmy: I'm gonna delete everyone Jimmy: not just you Jimmy: why do you care? like you said, didn't know each other existed before Janis: You're gonna have no friends, whole time you're here then Jimmy: hopefully Jimmy: what you're offering now, are you? Janis: no one good enough for you, yeah? Janis: not now I know Janis: don't worry Jimmy: you were the one warning me not to turn into 'em like a day ago Jimmy: didn't realise the real you was a cheerleader of leprechaun town Janis: Piss off Jimmy: that's the plan Jimmy: wear the uniform tonight though, the fans will love it Janis: It's going to take you ages you may as well try and tolerate it whilst you're here Jimmy: You don't have to outdo my dad on the fatherly advice Jimmy: not part of the deal Janis: Exactly, you're not gonna leave your brother and sister here Janis: so it's years, not months Jimmy: that's assuming any of us are gonna stay here Jimmy: he keeps jobs slightly longer than girlfriends but don't go mad, like Janis: Yeah great, hinge your masterplan on his lack of Janis: I hope it all works out for you, really Jimmy: I don't need a masterplan this is my real life not a fake dating plot Janis: Fuck you Janis: Act like it then, you live here right now, get over it Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You've lived here longer Jimmy: where's your friends? Janis: What's it matter 'bout me? Jimmy: you're dishing it out like I gotta be living my best life Jimmy: sort yours Janis: Again, this isn't about me Janis: you're not me Jimmy: & you ain't me, sweetheart Jimmy: you don't know what I want so don't tell me Janis: Don't fucking talk to me like that Jimmy: likewise Janis: Fine, be miserable Janis: like you said, why do I care Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Fuck me knowing what you want, I hope you work it out Jimmy: I have Janis: Good for you Jimmy: dead patronising you Jimmy: Love that Janis: I'm not the one throwing out sweethearts like it's the 70s Jimmy: Nah, you're just the one judging me when all you know is my name basically Jimmy: starting to see your sister's POV now Jimmy: bit of a nightmare, aren't you? Janis: Go fuck her then Jimmy: I don't want to Jimmy: but tah for the permission Janis: Literally drop dead Janis: I never once judged you and it's fucking rich you taking issue when all you do is judge everyone here all the time Jimmy: just 'cause you're a girl don't mean you can talk me like that & then tell me how to talk to you Janis: like what Janis: you talk to me like a piece of shit Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: Great Janis: Bye Jimmy: not bye, see you in a bit Jimmy: unless you're bailing Janis: you reckon i'm in the party mood Janis: really Jimmy: not what I asked Jimmy: don't matter how you really feel, does it? Janis: you're a sociopath, awesome Jimmy: no idea Jimmy: but alright fuck the party, don't bother me Janis: nah, 'course, nothing does Jimmy: nowt that's any of your business Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll still walk the dog it isn't her fault Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: you'll still need the keys Jimmy: won't throw 'em at you not very #goals Janis: I don't care anymore Janis: who am I impressing, like you said Jimmy: when? Janis: You know Janis: I've got no friends, I'm a nightmare Janis: 🎻 Janis: the list goes on Jimmy: that's not what they're seeing Jimmy: just me 🎻 Jimmy: you've impressed everyone else Janis: Please Janis: you're so smart now Jimmy: It don't take much Janis: Exactly Janis: Jig is probably up Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: you know it's working Janis: Yeah not now I hate you Jimmy: you didn't love me before Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: call it off Janis: I'm not coming out of this like this Janis: you don't have to see me Janis: I'll make it work myself Jimmy: 👌 Janis: just tell me how you wanna sound Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: do it how you want Janis: is it wise to give me such free reign Janis: nightmare i am Jimmy: you heard me Jimmy: don't matter Janis: You reckon I shouldn't care? Jimmy: I'm saying I don't Janis: No one's judging you anyway Jimmy: feel free to change that Janis: I'm not that much of a bitch Janis: thanks Jimmy: not on the 'gram anyway Janis: Fuck you Janis: I was being nice Jimmy: 'til I told you not to fuck Pete Jimmy: If I knew that was the dealbreaker I wouldn't have said nowt Janis: No, 'til you asked me to find you a girlfriend, called me not a girl Janis: then fucking agreed with my sister Jimmy: I told you, I never said you weren't a girl Jimmy: & I weren't serious about the girlfriend thing Janis: Whatever Janis: I don't even know if that's his name so it isn't about that Jimmy: alright Janis: It ain't alright Janis: I wasn't serious either you didn't have to take it like that and make it into this thing Jimmy: I seriously don't want you to fuck my co-workers Jimmy: that's all I said Janis: I'm not going to! Janis: I don't even want to Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: don't matter now Janis: Why not Jimmy: 'cause this is finished Jimmy: we don't need to keep chatting 'bout it Janis: Why is it a problem if I'm not gonna do it Jimmy: it ain't Janis: Then stop being a dick Jimmy: You stop being a dick Janis: dickhead Jimmy: You're the dickhead Janis: Oh my God Janis: stop Jimmy: just break it off Jimmy: I've got work to do Janis: Come on Janis: you're really dedicated now you don't wanna talk to me Jimmy: why would I? Jimmy: if we aren't going to the party what is there to chat about? Janis: well we could Janis: but fine Jimmy: you don't wanna either Jimmy: you hate me now, remember? Janis: Well you never liked me apparently so can't be offended Jimmy: yeah I can Janis: It's not fair, that's bullshit Jimmy: you hating me is not the same as me not knowing you Janis: maybe i'm being slightly dramatic Jimmy: go for it Jimmy: like I said, don't matter Janis: No Janis: Shut up being annoying Janis: let's go to the party Jimmy: I don't reckon that's a good idea Janis: Why not Jimmy: not in the running for an oscar, are we? Janis: alright Janis: i'll go by myself i guess Jimmy: that's a worse idea Jimmy: get it together, Jasmine Janis: Why? Jimmy: You're a pisshead & you need me Janis: 😑 Janis: well then you have to come Janis: I'm going Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: when? Janis: Whenever you've done what you've gotta do at Home Janis: I'm already on the bus to get the keys Jimmy: I just have to get the bribes in Jimmy: come with Jimmy: we can get drinks for the party or whatever Janis: I get it, all the sugar Janis: alright Janis: just don't try to palm me off with alcopops Jimmy: piss off would I Jimmy: I don't hate you Janis: tah 😏 you do reckon I can't handle my drink though Janis: which is just untrue Jimmy: you couldn't Jimmy: that's all I've got to go off Jimmy: prove me wrong tonight if you're that mad 'bout it Janis: What did I do? Janis: because I have evidence of YOU licking MY face, thanks snapchat Jimmy: FOR snapchat Jimmy: you were being nice to me when the camera weren't on Janis: How dare I 🙄 Janis: make it sound like I was tryna jump you Jimmy: nowt like that Jimmy: you were just Jimmy: fuck knows, mate Janis: ominous Janis: maybe i won't drink Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: challenge turned down? 👌 Janis: 😠 No Janis: you got me paranoid now though Jimmy: not trying to get in your head so I'll win or owt Jimmy: nah Janis: 😒 Jimmy: for real though that weren't how I wanted that to sound Jimmy: it was fun Jimmy: you weren't a total dickhead like usual, that's it Janis: so what you're really saying is Janis: I should make a habit of it? Janis: cool Janis: I thought you meant I was white girl wasted then I'd have to kms, obviously Jimmy: I'm saying if I were gonna hate you, I couldn't then 'cause you were alright Jimmy: calm down Janis: Awh babe Jimmy: what the fuck is white girl wasted? Janis: If Gracie or any of her mates are at this party, hopefully not, you'll get to see Janis: the girls who are screaming 'this is my song!' to every other shit song Janis: and lose their shoes and shit and end up sobbing hysterically on a poor bouncer or something Jimmy: that don't exist up north, lasses drink like lads Jimmy: I'll have to take you Jimmy: learn something, Jemima Janis: you can't say the north has a better drinking culture than ireland Janis: that's literally all we're known for excuse you Jimmy: I reckon I just did Jimmy: am I gonna get cursed now? Janis: Think you're gonna get deported so you'll be buzzin' on that Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: they aren't gonna be at the party are they? Janis: Nah, would've seen all the annoying getting ready and pre-drinks stories by now Jimmy: thank feck as you 🍀 say Jimmy: fun as it'd be to get that angry vein going in Mia's head again Janis: Please never say that again but do 'cos I wanna hear wtf it'd sound like in your accent 😂 Janis: she's DYING for round two Jimmy: I'll whisper it in your ear later if you pretend I'm saying something #goals Janis: Deal Jimmy: Just don't piss yourself laughing I don't need everyone reckoning my chat is that bad Janis: 🎭 Janis: I'll be so into it it'll be awkward for everyone else Janis: 💪 Jimmy: yeah alright Jane fonda just try & look like you're dying for round two 😍💕 Jimmy: maybe there'll be a room we can fake fuck in Janis: What are house parties for Janis: besides easier underage drinking, obviously Jimmy: as long as Mia ain't there to listen at the door Janis: I refuse to fake an orgasm for her the cunt you'd have to actually just fuck me Jimmy: I'll just take you home if she shows up Jimmy: pretend like I'm anti-fucking in strangers houses Jimmy: like its a northern thing or summat Janis: 😂 Polite, very anti-you Janis: but it works Jimmy: there's only so much convincing fakery I could let you do before it'd just sound hot Jimmy: not part of the deal for me to be into it Janis: Yeah Janis: Only human Jimmy: 🐍 quota in these parts is full Janis: Truly Janis: Don't tell Paddy, he'll be fuming Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: better get more smokes if you're sharing Jimmy: remind me Janis: Should get my own, least pay you half Jimmy: call it my being a dickhead tax Jimmy: besides, people were into it Jimmy: new #goals Janis: You make it look good Janis: no one needs to know you get out of breath on a dog walk Jimmy: you give then you take away Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: next time tweet the first bit & leave off the second Janis: I already did that story, no caption necessary Janis: can't have you thinking I'm too nice again and going weird on me Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: Are we meant to do getting ready snaps or are you not white enough? Janis: God no Janis: 'less we're being all extra about how much we don't wanna leave bed, like Jimmy: we could Jimmy: I zip up your...dress? but you take off my shirt Jimmy: make it sexy Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 😂 Janis: this is just going to get confusing Janis: end up leaving half undressed but not in the intentional way Jimmy: no then? Janis: nah, we can Janis: means having to take less there so we can lowkey have a decent time still Jimmy: almost like you now Jimmy: 'cause that's a top plan Janis: Gimme time Janis: not a fan of almosts like go all in and hate me or you know Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: what are you wearing not heavy breathing way? Jimmy: in a* Janis: Thanks for clarifying Janis: I put a few options in my bag, I'd ask a girl but you know Janis: You'll have to do Jimmy: I am out of breath but 🚬 not burning desire Jimmy: piss off I'm better Jimmy: I'll tell you what looks hot Jimmy: 😍 not bitchy side eye Janis: #truelove Janis: #lastsalifetime #inyourlungs Janis: Good, can always get that from your sister if I'm missing it Jimmy: You're getting too decent at #s gonna have to dump you 💔 Janis: #damn Jimmy: Stop Janis: #gonnamissmewhenimgone Jimmy: #Janis please Jimmy: if you make me laugh I could keel over 🚬 remember Janis: When bae calls you a health risk 😍 Jimmy: #goals right Jimmy: love you so much its gonna kill me Janis: mhmm Janis: i told ya, just got the organ wrong Janis: no 💔 going for the lungs Jimmy: just leave my 🍆 out of it & like my head I ain't too concerned Jimmy: least I got a pair of lungs Janis: are you saying i have 🍆 envy Janis: cos that's even older than the dyke line tbh i expect better from you Jimmy: let me know when I streak through the party Janis: 😂 Janis: Will do Jimmy: don't say nowt if you don't 'cause 💔 Jimmy: it ain't my party to cry at Janis: Poor boy Janis: Just tryna seem nonchalant 'cos already meant to have seen it, duh Jimmy: try & seem 😍 like you can't get enough of it though Jimmy: tah very much Janis: Okay you want drooling Janis: got it Jimmy: if you can Janis: Don't doubt me, just your ability to bring it Janis: kinda cold Jimmy: where I'm from this is summer temps Jimmy: don't worry 'bout me, girl Janis: Then we won't have a problem Jimmy: nah Jimmy: & if anyone asks, I'm thinking 'bout you #muse Janis: I think they'll have more pressing questions Janis: like, what the fuck? Jimmy: that's how it is in 🍀 Jimmy: boring feckers Janis: 😂 Janis: maybe after you've been there and had a few Jimmy: I won't find them boring? Jimmy: or I will Janis: saying you taking your kit off would be craic and not a sign of something wrong Janis: they'll still be pretty dry Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: can I leave here yet? it's rivaling in the boredom stakes Jimmy: come back Mia, some mildly annoying shit you've done is forgiven Jimmy: nowt else Janis: Shh Janis: come meet me off bus Janis: #romance Jimmy: alright Jimmy: you sold it to me Janis: 💕 Soft Jimmy: give me the kiss of life if I look like I'm going Jimmy: 'cause you know I'll 🚬 & walk Janis: 😏 Janis: Giving the OAPs on here a show Jimmy: love our new audience 💕 Janis: always a bitchy one though, i 👀 you grandmia Jimmy: probably is her nan Jimmy: does she have a face like 🍋 Janis: Chewing wasps forreal Janis: though I think Mia just rose up from the pits of hell by herself so Jimmy: get her number for my ex Janis: 😂 Janis: so thoughtful Jimmy: her status updates have been harrowing mate Jimmy: reckon Barry's playing away 💔🎻 Janis: Oh no Janis: typical Barry move Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: near end of life crisis Janis: Stop making me laugh I'm getting looks Jimmy: payback for before when you near ended my life Jimmy: could be worse least I'm not turning you on with the mention of him Janis: War flashbacks, like Jimmy: you got it, JoJo Janis: 💔 Janis: I don't get it but you do you Janis: true love and all that, I guess Jimmy: You don't get wanting to fuck an old bloke? Jimmy: Me either Janis: 😏 OMG we get it, you're straight Janis: it's me they got the questions about, not you Jimmy: so far Jimmy: but Pete is gonna need consoling for his 💔 Janis: 🙄 don't drag me into this Janis: find yourself a girl and him a mans Jimmy: so nah to the threesome? 👌 I'll let him know Janis: You don't wanna see his cum face Jimmy: I'll look at the back of his head Janis: Alright, glad you've worked out the logistics Janis: be rude to make him stay under the pillow Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in or out? Janis: whey Janis: long as it don't count 'cos threeways don't Jimmy: 'course Janis: 👍 Jimmy: #romance Janis: you know it Janis: real test faking it to that level, no matter how thick he is Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: we've got this baby 💕 Janis: Poor Pete Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: you see me yet? Janis: Hold on, lemme try and remember what you look like Jimmy: You ain't that good at faking it, Justine Jimmy: #unforgettable Janis: You'll be huffy when you find me chatting to the wrong white boy Jimmy: Nah I'll just smack him Jimmy: #goals like Janis: 😏 Janis: There you are Jimmy: 😘
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