#no context: full metal alchemist human transmutation happens

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 36

Last time: Sloth wished he had a jacket or something, our heroes found the Goth’s illegal mining operation, and M.G. Armstrong was offered immortal soldiers. Onwards!

No intro again, we’re starting with oh it’s Beard. Alright buddy, what are you up to now? Reciting names? While undressing? Who are you talking to

oh um Well this is a thing.

So… after saying a bunch of names, Beard apologized that he had to “use” them, then jammed his fingers into his chest to pour some blood onto the ground, which then swirled around and went into the earth.

Beard’s not the Big Bad, is he? It’s Uncle.

Tephi is currently sniggering at me.

Crazy Theory In Light Of New Scene Time! *deep breath*

So all this time I’ve been ranting at Beard for being the Big Bad, but what I’m guessing now is a Frankenstein situation; Beard got caught up in his research trying to expand Alchemy and create a Homunculi (with the Philosopher’s Stone? Without?), created Uncle who then decided that he was a superior being to mere humans and went on to create the Goths. Beard goes into hiding/on his endless fishing trip, is he trying to stop Uncle or has given it up as a lost cause? He also appears to have the same Philosopher’s Stone blood that Uncle has, experimenting on himself before making Uncle? Who knows! Still don’t forgive him for abandoning his family, even if he has some excuse like “I did it to protect you from the Goths.”, because we can see how well that worked out.

In any case, I think I understand all the blocks of spoiler text now, if he actually is a good guy then I apologiz- no actually I don’t apologize, dude is still sketchy as hell and abandoned his wife and kids. He’s still got a long way to go before he makes a Homura recovery on my List.

Episode 36 - “Family Portrait”

This looks like it’ll be another Beard episode like Interlude Party (which I just went back to re-read my post and I’m cringing at my anti-Beard rants), but with The Reveal I think I’d be ok with getting some more info on this guy. Just as long as we can get back to M.G. Armstrong catfishing Raven soon.

Yup, flashback episode. Baby!Ed and Baby!Al are sleeping, Beard by their bedside. Mama Elric says he can hug them if he wants, but Beard doesn’t want “the monster” to spread. So he already has his Philosopher’s Blood at this point?

[Mama Elric]: “Please. If it could spread that way, don’t you think I would have caught it a long time ago?”

I did not know I needed sassy Mama Elric until I got it but now I have a mighty need

The standard Creepy Tinkly Piano Music starts up as Beard

[Beard]: “Since I got this body-”

?! No no, I can’t stop and rewrite all my theories every other sentence or we’ll be here all night.

Beard is saying that ever since he got this body he’s seen a lot of death, tried to pass it off as the natural flow of the universe. He’s seen a lot of new things flourish over his life, accepted his body and kept on living. But then he met Mama Elric and created two sons oh ok I can see where this is going. Easy to accept death when it happens to Others, but to your Own?

...or not since he just compares himself to his aging sons, calls himself a monster. Damnit man I was giving you a noble backstory stop messing up my theories

Later, Mama Elric summons Beard from his Lair/Lab to surprise him with a photographer! Oh I get it, they’re getting that family picture (title drop-ish) that Beard took with him when he stopped by Resembool. Mama Elric passes Beard Baby!Ed, and good Leto man you’ve been a father for how many years? Not wanting to disturb them while they were sleeping was one thing but you’re acting like someone handed you another child, surely you’ve had some practice and carrying your own sons.

The Elrics pose while the photographer takes oh never mind Mama Elrics giving her “we’re taking this picture for the memories” speech even though he just asked for everyone to stand still. This is an old-timey camera lady, if you keep talking it’ll end up with everyone else ok but you with a great big blur where your mouth is.

[Mama Elric]: “He’s taking it. Smile, dear.” [Beard]: *Complete opposite of a smile*

Aw. Ok, I can understand why they crop out his head in that picture all the time now, that’s just depressing.

Huh. So that’s Beard’s motivation, then. He’s decided that immortality isn’t worth watching his loved ones age and die around him, so he’s of course researching a way to make them immortal as well nope he just wants to reverse his immortality so he can age and die with them. Ehhhhhhh ok whatever we aren’t getting back into the “is immortality good or bad” thing seeing as the only in-universe way is Stupidly Evil, let’s just focus on going back to Plain Old Human.

[Beard]: “That bastard…”

Are you talking about Uncle? Truth? Because I swear if this show goes and pulls out another Big Bad “for real this time you guys” I’m going to scream.

Aw, Beard’s fixing up the tree swing, we get an amusing moment where he falls down that let’s be real is only amusing because it’s A)in an anime so Physical Comedy is the rule, and B)he’s at least a semi-Goth so physical injuries are just a nuisance. Mama Elric comes out to check on him, and he gives the inevitable reveal that he’s going Absent Anime Father. Mama Elric is… surprisingly chill about this.

Beard’s trying to sneak out while the kids are asleep, but we know how that worked out. Mama Elric goes to distract them as Beard frowns (upset that his secret plan to sneak out secretly and avoid Familial Interaction failed?), then sees Baby!Ed looking up at him.

Way back in Episode 12

Flashback! Mama and Papa Elric are standing at the door, Baby!Ed and Baby!Al happened to be up early in the morning. Mama’s of course all over her children, but Papa Elric… just glares down at Ed, that’s the only description I can use for that look. Then he turns without a word, and walks out the door.

Context!

With both of his sons looking at him, Beard’s self-composure wavers ever slightly before he regains his glare and turns away.

Hey, it’s the campfire from the intro! Beard is looking at the family picture, before looking up to the night sky. “Just a little while longer…”

Whoa, all that was just before the intro?!

Oh come on! I was getting invested in more Beard Backstory, it’s almost a letdown to go back to Fort Briggs. Almost.

A bunch of Briggs soldiers are scouting the Goth Tunnel, seems their radio’s dead. Interference by the Military? The CO says they’ll keep going to find where all the rubble got dumped, but his horse shies and the ominous flutes start up. Who else is down there?

Black Shadows! Eyes! Teeth! Impalement!

Run Smith, run! Flee the Gate of Truth never mind he wasn’t fast enough. Sorry dude.

Ed’s listening to Raven’s “immortal soldiers” offer, and M.G. Armstrong’s baaaarely restraining herself from killing this old creep who’s all up in her personal space. She asks if the whole immortality thing would be for all her troops as well as herself, Raven says he can tell her “later”. So now she has to choose between accepting his offer and assisting his plans for Briggs (which could go very badly for the troops she commands), or refusing and getting pushed aside like General Grumman.

Before she can say anything, a mook’s knocking at the door to report that “something” has happened to the underground tunnel team- whoops, Raven overheard and is inviting himself along to go see. The eavesdroppers head out as well, after Ed Transmutes up some rope to “make it look convincing”. Right they’re still prisoners.

Whew, good thing they got the rope, they’ve run into Sideburns showing Kimblee around the fort. Ed recognizes The Crimson Alchemist, and oh yeah they’ve never actually met before, so Kimblee makes the mistake of thinking The Fullmetal Alchemist is the giant suit of armor instead of the pipsqueak everyone’s pointing to.

[irate!Ed]: “If one more person makes that mistake…”

Down in the pipe room, M.G. Armstrong’s getting the report of lost contact, aside from Smith’s horse with what they assume is his arm (man, arms just do not stay on people’s bodies in this show, do they?). M.G. Armstrong orders a rescue tea- nope shut down by Raven who claims the tunnel is too dangerous. Now, about that immortal monster she was talking about earlier?

Wow. General is straight up ordering M.G. Armstrong to grab the monster they put on ice, put him back in the tunnel and seal it up behind him. Obviously the nearby flunky balks at burying any possible survivors in the tunnel, but Raven just paraphrases the Law of the North about obeying strength and power. Now, is M.G. Armstrong going to refuse an order from her superior officer?

Mid-ep pictures of Crazy Grin Raven and steadfast Olivier Mira Armstrong.

Raven’s visiting the Elric Brothers in their cell, happy to see that they’ve been “keeping their mouths shut”. Ed’s just a little annoyed to have his friends held hostage and be locked up, but the ever-helpful General assures them that they can go soon. He then assures the boys that they don’t need to worry about the tunnel, M.G. Armstrong’s being a good little soldier and following orders.

Something that her own troops seem to be having a little trouble with now, the flunky from earlier is arguing with M.G. Armstrong about the lost team until she snaps at him to be quiet and obey. Kimblee’s watching everything from the walkways and snarks that even “The Impregnable Wall Of Briggs” bows to authority. Here’s hoping she proves you wrong soon.

Hey Sloth, how was your nap? Raven tells him to wake up and get back to work, apparently Pride explained it to him already. Now with his orders to get back to, Sloth returns to digging while Raven spouts some drivel about Sloth being a “chimera” working for Central, and since it was a top-secret mission they had to cover the hole and guard it.

[Raven]: “I’m counting on you soldiers! It’s people like you who make this country what it is!”

...wow. Ok, I’m pretty sure that M.G. Armstrong knows that the offer of immortality is intended to be at the cost of her own troops now. Way to eff things up Raven. Now if you had couched it as harvesting Drachmans to empower herself and her troops it might have been different.

Hey Marcoh, hey May! Still going over the notes?... wait, how long have you been at that hut? What have you been eating? Anyways, Marcoh says the important parts of the book are written in Ancient Ishvalan, which he can’t make heads or tails of. If only they had an Ishvalan Monk who could translate. Yeah, where is Scar?

Ooooh shoot. The Briggs snowtroopers have found the girl with the weird cat now, they draw their guns and move in when suddenly Scar! Man, good timing. Meeting up with the Doctor and the Princess, Scar confirms that they have the notes and says it’s time to move NOW HOLD ON. Did you really just take those two soldiers’ uniforms and leave them in the snow? Dude, not cool! At least move them into the hut so they don’t freeze to death.

Uh, timeskip apparently. Raven and M.G. Armstrong are overseeing the sealing of the tunnel, Raven’s confirming that the “weak” will be sacrificed to make the chosen few immortal. Man, Raven just has no redeeming qualities beyond that beard, does he? He’s just cheerfully talking about how the weak will be the foundation for the strong, completely missing the Death Glare that M.G. Armstrong’s leveling at him.

Sideburns is still having to babysit Kimblee, takes a moment to ask how the punk he was threatening in a hospital just a few days ago healed so quickly, let alone how a convicted murderer of officers got to walk free. Kimblee’s not exactly forthcoming.

Raven’s still cheerfully going on about how the country was founded with the plan to Mass Sacrifice its population, and how his generation gets to reap the rewards. He clasps her shoulder and damnit stop being a creeper you traitor-

[M.G. Armstrong]: “Hmph. There’s no need.”

Wait is she HELL YES

Screw you, you old coward! Just stand there with her sword through your arm as you feebly protest about her being a “chosen one”.

[M.G. Armstrong]: “I don’t need a new seat from you. You’re going to lose the one your moldy ass has clung to for too long! Right about now, Raven! You old TRAITOR!”

Oh hey, how convenient that there’s a fresh pool of concrete for that jerk’s corpse to be hidden in.

[Armstrong the Great]: “General, you are among the weak who will become the foundation for this country. Literally.”

Ha. Now we can get to work! Get some gloves free of traitor’s blood, find Sideburns and the other unwanted guest, and get that concrete nice and level.

Oh my Leto shut up Kimblee, stop trying to antagonize Sideburns with taunts about Ishval. Just as he starts to snap back Sideburns is called aside to hear that he doesn’t have to distract Kimblee anymore. He goes back and claims that “nobody can find General Raven”, so Kimblee… uh oh. Kimblee’s got standing orders to act as he sees fit if Raven’s not around, so they probably should give him a car to leave the fort. After all, one disappearance can be put down as bad luck. Both Raven and Kimblee? They can’t show their hand so soon.

Aw, the flunky who argued for the rescue mission is still pleading with Armstrong the Great to check the tunnel before it’s sealed. Ooh, but Ed made a second door earlier! That… may not have been such a good idea, I know that these guys haven’t seen what killed the tunnel team but still.

The mechanic stops by the Elrics’ cell to say Raven’s taking a concrete nap, then walks off. Wait, you’re still leaving those two in jail? Raven’s dead and Kimblee’s leaving, you don’t need to keep up the prisoner facade! Damnit, let the protagonists out to do their job!

Awww, hell. Kimblee’s shown up, wants to talk with the Fullmetal Alchemist. Fine whatever, just… what do you mean, “a visitor”?

CRAP. Winry! Or, is that Envy in disguise? Nah, probably Winry given how she’s yelling about Ed not getting his automail adjusted before going north. Someone from the military contacted her?

...Kimblee get your hands off her shoulders right now.

Damnit. Right as we get Armstrong the Great acting against the Military in defiance of the immortality temptation, we’ve got the Goth’s attack dog reminding them of the hostages. This is-

The end of the episode? Really? Wow, ok then. This one seemed like we got a short story on Beard (that just raised

so many new questions

) and a partial arc with Fort Briggs. What’s gonna happen next?

Wait hold on, this is one of those post-credit scene episodes. Roy’s meeting with one of the bar girls who’s reporting on Kimblee’s rapid recovery after Raven showed up. After paying her for the info a passing flower merchant teases him about just getting a “nice seeing you”... before saying she has a message from Armstrong the Great.

[Roy]: “I’ll take every flower you have in that cart.”