#no clue how tf this even happened but i don't think its normal

[dumb-bitchass]

Found the potato i aquired from october in my room today. apparently my room is the right enviroment for a potato such as this to grow arms without soil and water. Cheers to my potato

[azenta]

why did you retype as 3 fix? I'm almost the same type that you wrote in your desc and I don't see having a 3 fix the way you describe it in your tags at all.

Lmao I was joking in my tags. I didn't retype because of astro bs. I retyped for the following reasons:

4 core/fix means a sense of lacking unicity and so a quest in pursuing it. But I hadn't that feeling I had to prove how unique I was, or that I wasn't unique enough or too normal and bland. I know I am unique, I know I have my specialness, my color. So, I basically have no issue with being unique and so don't do image things as a mean to feel unique. I use my unicity to stand out, to somehow get the attention for something else, but not to prove it.

There was some few behavioral patterns that cued me toward 3 too, but of course, i investigated the why behind, I'll come to it later. But one of those behaviors is how I kinda lowkey show off. It's subtle behind a screen, but irl it was hard to miss, especially when I gave "class" to my clients. I have a way to reclaim the attention and to actually "act" and incarnate roles when I give some fictional examples. I become the center of attention very easily if I desire it. People actually listen to me, they get hanged on in part because of the context too, I shine when I am in my domain of expertise. I noticed this tendency on screen too, but it was easier to convince me it was for something else since I had the time to think (and so distort my perception like a real Ni dom). But basically, in one of the gc discord I am, the first thing I did when i first talked was to get to how I clothed myself at work (and how I stranded out at work because of this) and actually sent pictures, which lead me to "am I really showing off like a fucking Prada??". So... this showing off made me first question about a 4w3 fix, but the 4 component didn't seem to be the main reason for those attitudes.

So here I came with "why tf am I doing this? What motivates me?". And first thing happening is me having no conscious clue of why. Which is already fishy imo, especially for a 4 fix that usually totally know when shame hit them. In general, I barely notice when I felt shame until very recently when I could finally catch the feeling, even if it wasnt the predominant one. It was about failing, failing to kinda succeed and show how competent and resourceful I was despite my lack of expertise in those circumstances. It lead me to an "anger crisis", close to an anxiety attack, but I was just utterly pissed off, felt powerless af, disappointed and lowkey ashamed. One of my coworker took me away and took time with me so I could decompress, and this is when I felt the most shame. It should be a client crying out of frustration, here, where I was sitting, with my coworker taking care of them, not me a fucking social worker actually on a fucking shift?? Wtf?? I almost wanted to avoid my coordinator to explain him what happened, I was scared to get reprimanded, even tho it is totally not how we proceed at my job. He just welcomed me warmly and questioned the deeper reason behind. I already had part of the answer, but I was still too emotionally fragile to think it out. In the end, i realised I was kinda seeking some approval, some praise in my 5 ways. It is not predominant, but it was still there.

Also, I thought back about my childhood and how I was raised on the Image side. I kinda found that I was really attention seeking with my parents, and the way to get it was to be good at "things" (like drawing, or school. I even took dance classes, and got the praise of my parent, my mom particularly). In fact, rn I realise the image part was to gain the attention of my mom since I felt she was more absent than my father (thus the 5 core in part, + my father fucking up), and the way to get it was to be good and get good. But, she still accepted me when I had harder time, like poorer result, and didn't impose strict standards either, so that's why it ended up as a last fix. She supported me in my difficulty, but I still learned I needed to demand attention and be somehow performative to get it. I always was seen as the unique precious daughter, so the 4 always was well fed in me, but I end up using it in a 3 way to boost the result of what 3 wants to get. Appraisal, admiration, a sense of worth through its achievement.

So, overall, that's the main reasons and reasoning leading to it. Being soc blind kinda eliminated many stereotypical 3 manifestation, so it made me question for a while. But, it explains better the shame aspect and my on and off relation with emotions (omitting 5 core and 1/9 fix really don't help the case either...).

[tainbocuailnge]

My dude, my friend, my Fellow Cú Chulainn admirer, I started playing Granblue when there was the roulette and then stopped and now downloaded it again and I need to know: how tf do you actually play it? I see a lot of terms I have no clue what they mean and there's like a shitton of stuff to do and I don't know where to even start, what do I do

as a disclaimer it’s been a long time since I was in the early game myself so your mileage may vary. genuinely just do whatever you want tbh, there isn’t really anything you HAVE to be doing. that being said though:

first of all delete the app and just play it in your browser. the app is just a framework for the browser version anyway and it won’t be sitting on a bunch of your storage if you go to game.granbluefantasy.jp instead. when doing this on desktop, try getting your hands on viramate too. it’s technically not allowed since it’s a third party tool but it features a LOT of convenient UI and general QOL updates that make the game much easier to navigate. it’s the xkit of granblue.

in the early game you want to just click the ‘auto select’ button in the weapons tab of your party and then throw whoever you think is cutest out of what you have in a party and progress the main story as far as you can. don’t worry too much about elements yet because they’re not very important early on. your goal is to reach chapter 25, because at that point you will have access to all the omega raids.

once you reach rank 30 (which should happen naturally just from playing through the story because early rankups happen fast) you can start doing the omega raids. these are tiamat omega, colossus omega, leviathan omega, yggdrasil omega, luminiera omega (non-omega is called aversa), and celeste omega. each of these raids drop weapons which are used for the grids you will be using the majority of the early, mid, and even part of the lategame. I explained how it works in my grid building guide which you’ll find in my granblue advice tag. it may be a bit too much to take in in one go, that’s fine because it’s complicated. ask experienced players for specific advice when you get stuck.

pick ONE element to focus on and then do a fuckton of the corresponding raid, both hosting and joining. don’t worry about contributing yet because you won’t be able to anyway, getting one hit in and then going to the next raid is normal and expected for early players and stronger players will pick up the slack. use the drops from those raids to build a grid and develop your punching muscles.

while unite & fight is still going on, try hosting every difficulty raid at least once so you can get the reward crystals. see if you can defeat any, call for backup if you can’t. the tokens you get during this event can be exchanged in drawboxes containing so-called revenant weapons, pick the dagger and try to get at least four copies so you can fully uncap it. these weapons can be changed into any element under shop > weapon series > revenant weapons, and the dagger has an incredibly useful charge attack and can be used with enhancer/arcana dueler/dark fencer

try playing some of the side stories too, they give out a ton of free stuff as well as crystals to roll more characters with. as a rule you should save your crystals until there is a premium gala or flash gala going on, these happen once per month each and feature a pool of limited characters and doubled SSR rates. granblue’s pity system is that if you roll 300 times on the same banner you get to just pick any rateup item but you can start caring about that when you already have a decent roster

[pokefanbri]

Im still fucking fighting, i keep telling myself im not gonna let go & Fuck everyone else who thinks I should. But sometimes there's the opposite, im just lost & idk what to do....hes not gonna come back...so why should I bother to keep fighting 😔 If someone asks me...

Are they worth it? Absolutely. Because theres always room for improvement & growth, & we've been doing that apart for ourselves now for 7months. Did they give u the respect and attention u deserved? Are we not more valuable than that? Hell no & hell yes lol. Look I was happy just doing that for him but yea when it came to me honestly it was like nah im good 😒 & i know how fucked up it is that id go along with his selfishness but I did. I did deserve better & he knows I did... i just didnt wanna lose him & did anything he needed me for... but I ended up losing him anyway 😔 theres a reason why u work on that kinda shit & grow together as you go so everyone is happy, its fair to say we both lost sight...I was eager to learn everything about him cuz I wanted to be closer...but I was blocked out & pushed away, he wouldn't open up & talk to me or show feelings for anything, even of me when he used to all the time...like he was scared of being too attached or didnt want to get hurt..he didnt trust me or was afraid to show his true self or show any emotion that'd be viewed as weak due to the typical be a man complex. Idk I was confused & didnt know what was needed to help fix things so yea i walked on eggshells & me showing affection of my own free will was out of the question most of the time...I couldn't touch him unless he wanted me to & rare occurrences for my own satisfaction. Its the reason why I cried all the damn time, I felt avoided & unwanted because my own attention lacked pretty badly. How tf do I love a fucknugget bobblehead like that lmao, cuz I dont give 2 flying fucks he was my man ok! & being close enough to him made me happy enough I guess, I still looked at him like he was my world even if I wanted to slap him for making me feel so lonely at the same time. I admit his needs came b4 mine, he liked it more that way & I took care of him more than I did myself. But if he had more effort to take care of my needs in turn & I were happier than I was, & us happy at the same time, then maybe I wouldn't be so hard on myself...cry all the time & smoke like a chimney 🙁

I still don't fully understand why he held back, communicating with me on a deeper level is supposed to be natural & pretty much all normal couples show an appropriate amount of affection & understanding to eachother....but it was kept burried...was he afraid id hate him, judge him, make fun? No, id love him even more! Idc how dark he may think he is or whatever past bs he's gone through or even if he was lying about anything...its okay it can't hurt u anymore dear & we can overcome it just tell me what it is thats lacking & let's fix this. Id say "sit down babe, tell me everything, whats on your mind, what can I do to help 😊" & id give him the most gentle kiss on the forehead. I'd do anything to see a smile from that face & it makes me smile too. I want to help him, he needs somebody to hold just as much as I do cuz the fact of the matter is babe, he's just as broken as I am, we both need someone to put back our pieces & become whole again...after we try doing it solo it can only go so far b4 u want that physical presence of another again to help u more so. He keeps everything bottled up & especially didnt let me see what was happening to him I had no clue, if he didnt like talking to anyone he at least had me but still kept me away from him, whatever it was festered in him & he changed his whole demeanor toward me, he became colder & shut me out for good 😔 Making me feel even more unwanted. We didnt help eachother through our problems & I really wanted to, I wanted to save us for the longest time way b4 the end. Idk maybe if he put in as much effort & we knew how to function better together instead of a Corolla with just 2 wheels then we'd probably be fine...& our suspension wouldn't be dragging on the asphalt 😂 Its not all on him for fault, I take equal amount of responsibility, we failed eachother, we didn't know wtf we were doing & 9/10 it was just friends with benefits with only 1 of us in love & attached, & the other not really caring with side pieces to chat with 🤷‍♀️

U know what ���� They're right, he's right, & now I'm actually starting to accept it the more I write. Maybe just maybe,HE DOESN'T DESERVE ME AT ALL. Im still upset and frustrated. To answer the question again from earlier no maybe he's not worth it. I suffered through his bs and 10fold heartbreak afterward!! If he can't own up, right his wrongs & bring us both peace then no he's not worth suffering for afterall, and ive been loving the wrong soul this whole damn time 😣 He kicked me to the curb cuz he a fucking coward! He cant admit his wrongdoings, ask for forgiveness, say im sorry or actually put the tiniest bit of effort into a relationship to make it work, but instead disposes of me so he wouldn't have to confront any of it & just continue on like nothing happened are fucking kidding me!!?? I thought u were smarter than this, its beneath you to just run away & pretend I never mattered to you when we both know I did!!!....& im crying again. Im still feeling the betrayal apparently, ill never be able to trust him fully again anyway, let alone other men now. I dont hate you, I love you very much. But I hate the evil from you that you've shown me. I should've known honestly, I was naive to see all types of disrespect but this was the worst part. I still love him but i do deserve better than that & I hope he's changed his ways. Trust a guy with a high track record of ladies & a handful of em in their hand..what u think 🤔 can trust be gained back? Can I get over the bad uncalled for lying shit he's said about me to other women to make himself look better? Idk 🤷‍♀️ I haven't been able to rest without closure for so long, but enough is enough im making my own. You're absolutely right, you'd just manipulate me further, I thought maybe we could be better than before...round 2 at some point in the future...but maybe we're not salvageable after all. Thats up to u, I did everything I could, but now if u were to ever come back idk if I'd jump into your arms or slam the door in your face, I just dont know. Its better that I try never speaking of u again, or think of you for as long as I can so that I can heal better....cuz loving you even after the fact is tearing me apart & making me lose focus on what matters more, myself. I fought valiantly as long as I could, 7 months is a long time to not shut up about u lol.. maybe you've been hearing me I wouldn't know. I have to force it or ill never be able to, ill still silently grieve but as much as it hurts, Its time. U were my rock, an asshole but a good one, the best gamer I got to know, a boss at alot of things, with the cutest lil butt, & somehow the love of my life. Other than maybe something valentines or anniv related in Feb ofcourse....Ur getting what u wanted, I have to do whats best for me now, I have to let u go. I held on for so long but Im really tired & emotionally drained, im just torturing myself when i need to stop, im defeated, nobody won anything, everyone got hurt in 2020 why should our relationship be any different, id say we gave it our all be we both know we didnt. This hurts me so much to do, like my heart is breaking again. Bye babe, I love you with all my heart. 💋💞 💟

I tried to do what I could but if he left, I just gotta try to move on. If I take him back, I gotta consider how that's gonna look like & if I really got past the damage he did....obviously theres some I still haven't 😔 Its what im telling myself while trying to move past this. Others going through the same...We're in love and they ain't. We can't control their actions but we can control our actions. Im not a toxic person..only to myself, I love with all my heart, nobody bothers to understand...they just judge

[melancholy-queen]

REIGN SPOILERS AHEAD

i’m putting all of my thoughts about the series reign on this, i probably forgot a lot of shit, but thats okay. also I’m sorry if this is very long, i have lots of opinions. scroll past!

so im on season 3 episode 7 and here are my thoughts as of this moment:

- francis is everything but also he was so controlling of mary jfc

- nostradamus is really hot

- im sad for mary that francis is dead

- frary is endgame

- but i was totally down for bash and mary to get married

- conde was so hot. i miss him already

- i was not down for the whole cheating plot line with mary

- antoine needs to chill and stop being so vengeful

- kenna is a piece of shit, i mean stop self sabotaging yourself please for the love of god

- so apparently, kenna was masterbating on the staircase in the pilot? i thought she ran out of breath from walking up all those goddamn stairs (chill, this is a joke, but i still think it's funny that she couldn't wait to get to her room)

- henry was fucking gross from the minute he walked on screen

- did everyone forget about aylee?

- poor lola, she couldve been so much more

- on the topic of lola, where tf did john philippe go? like he hasn't been in the past few episodes

- bash is so great

- bash does no wrong, i love him

- i liked diane and i miss her

- leith is honestly the most tragic character in this whole show, i love him

- megan follows does such an amazing job, like she is such a good actress

- why tf couldn't greer marry leith? i guess im just not understanding

- they totally brushed off the whole incest thing between claude and bash, gross

- but also good for greer, she's a great madam

- i don't give any shits about lord narcissi

- i loveeee claude and leith, get married pls

- i really wanted mary and francis to have a child and i almost cried at the miscarriage

- charles is a dick, but also fuck me

- catherine de medici is the best thing to have graced this show, i mean fuck me up bitch ahhh

- poor mary! its so sad that she was raped. to me, the show handled the repercussions fairly well

- i liked the whole catherine going crazy plot line, i thought the writers did a good job with her emotions towards her children

- the end did not pay off though, like how did she get better?

- also, the crazy henry plot line was ass, but i liked it almost?

- i thought the francis killing henry was done very well, subtle, but not out of the blue. plus, you could go back and look at the clues in previous episodes to aid to the murder

and now these are my thoughts past season 3, episode 7 all the way to the end:

- yes i want some bdsm in this bitch fuck it up queen

- catherine and mary are so kinky hahahaahahha

- mary's pussy literally killed don carlos (jk)

- this is the best plot line on this show so far lmao

- i like it better when mary and catherine get along

- god i love princess claude

- i hate narcisse

- fuck narcisse

- even though claude's fucking stupid for writing that her mother poisoned her in her diary and not hiding the diary well, i still love her

- narcisse's secretary is hot in a lowkey kind of way

- also, his death scene was very unrealistic

- thank god lola is leaving, fuck narcisse

- i don't like elizabeth, but i guess im not supposed to

- why does claude have to fuck up leith like that? he's already traumatized by greer

- greer is honestly the secret mvp, what a good woman

- i am more invested in claude and leith's story then anything else in this entire show

- i feel so bad for dudley's wife, she didn't ask for this

- catherine is a sex queen and i stan her

- stubble leith is so hot

- adelaide kane is so fucking pretty goddamn

- honestly, fuck the prince of spain

- charles looks like mary and francis' child grown up tbh

- i have no investment in any of the england storyline

- why do none of the ladies in waiting get a normal marriage and life jeez louise

- CLAUDE DESERVES BETTER

- LEITH DESERVES BETTER

- FUCK THE DUKE WHO MARRIED CLAUDE

- CLAUDE IS A QUEEN WTF I LOVE HER SO MUCH I WANT TO MARRY HER OML

- narcisse can suck my dick

- im all for in charge charles

- i don't like gideon

- i have no investment in the elizabeth/dudley shep, but i still find it really sad

- god i hope that gideon doesn't stab mary in the back

- christophe is really creepy

- my inStiNctS weRe cOrRecT jEsuS ChrISt, christophe is insane

- gideon is also insane

- bash is perfect

- bash needs better sleuthing skills

- i fully support the lola and elizabeth friendship

- mary and gideon have no chemistry haha

- DEAR GOD I LOVE LEITH AND CLAUDE

- greer is so strong, i love her

- I’m so for greer and leith’s friendship

- jc not the bash love storyline again

- i totally forgot mary killed narcisse’s son

- wait at what point did mary meet her ladies??

- literally the only part in this show so far to make cry is when mary went back to defend catherine tbh

- idk why i feel sympathy for catherine

- if bash dies i will stop watching

- thank god

- elizabeth is honestly a better friend to lola than mary was

- charles is so dumb

- god why can’t he learn anything, obviously his friend was a traitor

- charles’ traitor friend is bobo nick jonas

- dark mary is my everything

- claude is her mother’s carbon copy

- the valois children have other siblings? where are they and why haven’t we heard of them?????

- munro is so hot

- bash is actually fucking insane

- why is charles so trustworthy?

- when did james become hot?

- mary is so great when she’s not needy and crying for a romance

- how does everyone just kill people so easily??? i can’t even get my blood drawn without wanting to throw up

- lola is HEARTLESS

- IM SO DOWN FOR A CLAUDE/LEITH WEDDING

- also troye sivan? i love it

- charles totally sucks

- wait what happened with the pagans in the blood woods?

- i cannot stand gideon and mary together

- i’m so sad for lola, she was such a good character

- dear god, this was the only death that i’m actually sad for (and this includes francis)

- i want more for john philippe

- NO I TAKE THAT BACK POOR LEITH

- knox is such a creep

- marys brother needs to stop

- i’m so down with seer bash you guys don’t even understand

- mary is wild omg i love this turn around

- when did james get so hot

- lola and francis’ child is so fucking cute omg

- charles’ mental breakdown is crazy

- ewwww gideon and mary are gross af

- I’m all for darnley

- poor claude honestly, but she is a saint

- if he hurts her, ill beat him up

- damn charles is a vampire

- leith deserved so much better

- i love him

- dude i don’t even give a shit about the other relationships in this show, leith and claude are the greatest

- poor leith, I’m so sad

- agatha’s death is so fucking depressing

- i love mary when she actually has a backbone

- yes motherfucker, murder darnley

- i have no sympathy for darnley’s true love dying, he’s so rude and deceiving

- i love the friendship between catherine and mary ahh

- i don’t know how i feel about greer and james

- where did lady kenna go?

- i like the juxtaposition between mary and francis’ wedding and mary and darnley’s wedding with the flowers and attendees and just overall feeling and how adelaide kane acted in it. you could tell that she truly loved francis but doesn’t love darnley and feels scared with him

- also the fact that mary doesn’t match with darnley’s outfits is an interesting choice

- the timeline on this show is very strange

- claude’s character development is beautiful

- the horny witch is my fav

- umm what she’s pregnant?

- nicole can suck my fucking ass fuck her stupid ass

- i wish the end wasn’t so abrupt tbh

- the last five minutes was so good, i teared up

- ugh now i feel empty inside and want to watch it again!!

ugh this show is so good, like insanely good. i feel like most of the time the characterization was wonderful. claude was my favorite, so its no surprise i like claude and leith the best. i didn’t like francis most of the time while he was alive but i missed his presence on the show. bash was an absolute gem. adelaide kane is so hot oml i died multiple times. i really enjoyed watching it!!!

rate: 9/10 archduchesses falling out of a window during sex (still my favorite part of the show)

favorite character: claude! queen catherine!! runner ups: bash, greer, leith, sometimes mary, elizabeth at the endish

favorite season: season 1!! can’t beat the drama!