#no but genuinely theres a difference between liking a person's music and thinking of them as some ethereal / divine being

[tyrianluda]

Found the og.

And the reblogs...

these ppl want make a d&d campaign with them SO badly and im terrified

[the-s1lly-corner]

Thank you sm 😭 you actually did so good! It felt so nice to see my favorite creepy boy with those head canons 🥹🥹 but yes your writing is absolutely amazing!! I can’t wait to keep seeing everything you write!! And I apologize in advance if I ever get too excited and request too much 🥹

Perhaps creepy boy relationship head canons with a fem!reader who attempts to steal their clothes because they miss them?

- 🩶 Anon

Laughing Jack, Eyeless Jack, and Hoodie x fem!reader who steals their clothes because she misses them!

went ahead and threw in some other characters that i think would be silly with this request since you didnt specify :3! was gonna add slenderman but im on the fence about whether or not his clothes are a part of his body.. shrugs!! feels weird not doing masky since im doing hoodie too but shrugs again laughing jack included as you state hes your favorite :3 and WAAAAH im glad you enjoyed the previous request!! and no need to apologize; i get it !! sometimes i get excited too with requesting stuff !! ill let you know if youre being too intense (though i gotta admit i love writing creepypasta stuff, had a longish break between august and now where i hardly wrote for it and i missed writing for the fandom loads TToTT)

EYELESS JACK:

honestly for a moment i was going to say his mask but i genuinely think that would be a deal breaker for him since it kind of acts as a comfort and security thing for him. even if hes not wearing the mask around you, dont take it. now his hoodie or one of his shirts... thats a different story.. would rather you ask him, though, but he does find it a little sweet that its because you missed him.. mind you he thinks so lowly of himself that he might even be a little shocked that you *miss him.. might let you keep on his shirts! might have to wash it though and patch up a hole or two but its nothing major.. though i dont think he would let you keep one of his hoodies, he has way less of those than he does shirts and he kind of needs them to keep warm.. also the hood comes in handy.. for things.. will expect you to return his belongings when asked, will not take any excuses since they are his belongings and he cant really waltz into a store and go shopping

LAUGHING JACK:

okay so this one is a little funny since i do personally hc that his clothes are just a part of his body for the sake of the post lets turn a blind eye.. theres so many options for you.. his shirt (sleeves! long and floppy!) or a spare sweater than hes claimed... hmm.. i think regardless of what piece of clothing you've taken from him he would be thrilled that you miss him THAT much! he rarely goes out, in fact i dont think its often that he goes far from where his music box is.. gotta stay in decent range, you know? but the point still stands... you miss him? i think that actually does wonders for his abandonment issues, since it reassures him that you care about him and think of him when hes away. probably scoops you up in his arms and hugs you, likely wrapping his arms around you like a snake. offers to never let you go, and kind of sticks true to that until you need to tend to your bodily needs

HOODIE:

another victim of jacket thief... a moment of silence for this man losing the thing that literally sparked his name.. okay jokes aside i dont think he would care that much, hes probably hoarded other clothing while staying with you; from hoodies to sweaters. so hes not going to sweat it if you briefly snatch something from him so long as you eventually give it back.. might sign some teasing words at you for missing him, might also prompt a session of you two cuddling.. good luck getting up because hes probably not going to let go.. why would he, you missed him! also might make him try to spend more time with you since every now and then he does have decently long periods of just. being gone doing whatever it is that he does.. probably leaves you his main hoodie and wears a different one when he knows hes about to dip for a while..

[wizisbored]

Love Netherborne btw! Such a good read!

Im sorry if you get this ask a lot, but I was wondering how you feel about BJ as a whole within the fic? And especially the relationship between Lydia and BJ themselves? I really like the conflict about him trying to care for Lydia but not really seeing the issue with literally everything in that world. It does make me feel a bit sad given how it’s the common thing that they are close friends in other works and media within the Musical universe, but in this case it’s understandable that he is a part of the problem

its something thats very exaggerated in my fics, but in general im honestly not that interested in depictions of beetlejuice and lydias relationship that isnt at least slightly unhealthy. nothing against anyone that likes to depict them as nontoxic besties but its just not for me. so naturally, being the person that i am, im constantly looking for ways to exaggerate the fuckedupness of their relationship with the aid of terrible power dynamics.

so what i feel about netherborne beetlejuice is that i love digging through his fucked up little brain and figuring out the logic behind his actions. hes obviously terrible, hes (however unintentionally) abusive and neglectful to lydia, but he does genuinely like her. unfortunately, wether he realises it or not, he cares about himself far more than her. he thinks he wants her to be happy, but really he wants her to be happy in a very specific way that fits him. wants her to change to be happy with her circumstances rather than changing those circumstances to make her happy. and with her past abuse, to him the problem is not that the system is awful, but that lydia specifically was put in it and was hurt. he doesnt really care about breathers as a whole but he likes this specific kid. so he took the opportunity to put himself in charge of her situation, treats her in a way that meets his standard, and doesnt get why this is not problem solved. incredibly selfish man i want to punt him down the stairs but also i am studying him like a bug.

on a related note, i find it interesting to think about how the audience reaction to their relationship might differ if this was an original work. ive gotten a few comments from people saying they hope they're able to end up friends again, and i think thats largely because of how much theyre depicted as friends in the fandom. if there was no outside context, i think less people would want lydia to warm up to him. i find this kind of thing really interesting, because it highlights one of the ways fanfic is different from original fiction - theres just such specific outside context to all aspects.

[devilsainz]

First, Thank you @watercolor-hearts for tagging me! when i saw it i knew it wouldnt be an easy task (mostly because i love to talk a lot lmao) but i liked the concept and felt that it would be interesting way to dive more into the ships i am fond of.

Pairing/Shippy list!

Here are the rules:

1. List your top seven ships.

2. Put them all in order for your love for them; 7 to 1, 1 being your favourite.

3. Name the fandom.

4. Put a picture of the guys in question.

-

7. Ziam (Zayn/Liam Payne) (One Direction)

weird way to start this list, since its not f1 related, and i very much believe it's a dead ship now. But honestly they deserve this honorable mention for being the first ship i adopted, and i didnt even care about One Direction or their music around that time (in fact i cant remember even how i stumbled upon this ship lmao). These two together just had so much chemistry for me, either on stage, interviews, or anything really. also they were my introduction to this whole idea of "ship" (Larry was the absolute more popular one obviously, but it was Ziam that really SUCKED me in like a vacuum cleaner). Unfortunately, Liam's distasteful comments last year bursted my bubble about them (even though he has explained this year he wasn't in a good place, and i personally think they are okay with each other, even though still distant), but i still like to watch their compilation videos on youtube sometimes, it's quite bittersweet :')

6. Martian (Sebastian Vettel/Mark Webber) (Formula 1)

honestly i feel i just dont put these two higher because they feel somewhat new to me, like i need to dive into them more. I just think its such a fun ship in the sense that it has a looot of things going on at the same time, their very public rivalry and the famous multi 21, mark's angry face at that one press conference, it could be so so angsty but they just make me laugh (also, the making love on track quote is now burned into my brain so in no way they could be out of this list).

5. Christian horner/Toto wolff (Formula 1)

okay okay this is the part yall realize im actually crazy. but... they DO have chemistry when they are interacting, even in their non-amicable moments, and i do love myself some good enemies to lovers. Obviously it helps that i think they both are very actrattive, sexy middle aged men that have hunger for victory and i believe they hold so much respect and admiration for each other, considering they are the two most sucessfull TP's at this point. Also, HEIGHT DIFFERENCE.

4. Versainz (Max Verstappen/Carlos Sainz) (Formula 1)

(i wanted to find that ONE gif where he lifts carlos a little so bad but this one will do) Oh, this one really rocketed fast into my favorites. I just think they are just so wholesome. I always feel Max is warmer towards a certain number of drivers, and Carlos is one of them. And i dont even ship them in a ... kind of way, even tho it makes sense in my head the narrative that both were each others "first's" before going into bigger ships. Its just that it feels so special that both debuted together as teammates and, both took different trajectories in the way their career planned out, but theres still a genuine connection between them, at least in my view.

3. Maxiel (Max Verstappen/Daniel Ricciardo) (Formula 1)

I know its weird because i dont really post about them. But this falls into the same category as versainz for me, except that here there's a kind of dynamic that it makes me go "hmm... interesting". I always like to see max smiling and being happy because this boy went thru so much in his childhood, and oh how Daniel knows how to bring this side of Max. If Max can be warmer to certain drivers, for Daniel he has a whole SOFT SPOT, and i think that's very endearing. IMO, Daniel feels like the person that changed him in deeper ways we know, that one person that was indirectly a "life teacher" to him maybe, and thats special to me.

2. Brocedes (Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg) (Formula 1)

Oh, the ANGSTY in this one. yes, this one deserves the ANGSTY in all caps because to me that's them. Oh to have lived through their divorce must have been heartbreaking but what a freaking cinematic ship this one is. I just can't ignore it. How it feels to me that Nico is the one who wears his heart on his sleeve, while Lewis has that chilling Capricorn control over his emotions is so. just so. And the fact that Nico's legacy is forever entangled in Lewis' name. If a movie screenwriter would come up with this, i'd think it would be overdramatic, but no, theyre actually this unhinged.

Charlos (Charles Leclerc/Carlos Sainz) (Formula 1)

how do i even start talking about these two idiots? Okay, so obviously i think they're both very attractive and that definetely helped me to ship them lmao. But thats kind of reductive, because these two have sooo much chemistry in my opinion, even before their ferrari days, there was so much potential waiting to bloom, and it did. I love their banter, their competitiveness, how they can get childlike around each other sometimes. How they are so physical, how they make each other laugh (let me not talk about their gazes to each other or i will not end this today). I love how Carlos doesn't hide he wants to compete with Charles (which brings him unnecessary hate sadly), and how both respect each other in this stance. There's a bit of angsty underneath this soft/fluffy surface too (more from Carlos' perspective imo - but lets not forget Charles and Silverstone 2022 too - this is my charlos angsty origin story), but they still find their way, and that kind of compels me even more into them. I just think theres so many layers, multitudes, in the way we can create, write and read about them. Absolute favorites.

-

Tagging @schumiatspa and @sainzjpeg 😊

obviously, feel free to ignore if you dont want to play, no hard feelings around here ❤, and also 7 ships are quite a work! if you're not tagged but want to make your list, feel free to do it and consider yourself tagged by me 😘

[whimsigothdragonfly]

Ranking all of Ariana grande albums. For context im a huge fan, im 20 so was in that age range that essentially grew up seeing her career flourish and I’ve relistened to all of em. Theres a lot of music (particularly pop music because ive been through many phases of hating pop) that’s from my youth that i would never go back to, but never Ariana Grande she’s the artist of our generation.

Also none of them are bad

1- eternal sunshine- feels like a culmination of all of the different styles she’s done into one album, beautifully personal while also being optimistic and positive, even when the topic is sad. This one definitely grew on me when it first came out i liked it but it didn’t rlly have super strong feelings over it,but she recently dropped some live sessions of some of the songs and it RLLY blew me away, which caused me to revisit the album and appreciate it for what it is. It’s an album about genuine healing, whereas ‘thank u, next’ was projecting healing. The album art is simple and gorgeous. In terms of the concept, around the movie ‘eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’: this is my favourite movie OAT, always in my letterboxd top four. Its been a favourite since i was 16 and my initial reaction that she was naming the album after it was ‘eeee🙄’ just bc i cant help but be a gatekeeper and didn’t want all her fans making it their entire personality and acting like it’s their fav movie too😭. And tbf I didn’t see much of that so im cool w it now. I totally see how Ariana saw the connections between these songs and the movie and she’s also said so many times she’s a huge Jim carrey fan so i think it was a beautiful choice. Some have said the ‘concept album’ idea, creating a character ‘peaches’ (ref to clementine) is way to get around her divorce NDA, i dont rlly care either way. I’m a HUGEEE fan of the Jon Brion’s score/soundtrack for the movie listened to it so many times so i was hoping to get some of that soft, minimalistic, dreamy Elliot smith style. But the closest thing to that was probably the title track (where she sampled Imogen heaps ‘just for now’), and it’s so beautiful.

2-positions- its an underrated brilliant album which should’ve got way more hype that it did. It feels like an elevated, mature version of ‘Dangerous Woman’ and had some great features, her and the weeknd are always incredible and the ballad is beautiful. It’s a shock to me that people were underwhelmed by her and doja on motive bc it was so fun and always gets me movin. She also worked w Leon Thomas on ‘safety net’ which is one of her most magical, beautiful songs she’s ever done. Also she looked so good during this era no offense to her eternal sunshine style it’s so pretty and much more my style, but brown hair high ponytail 60s makeup suits her so well😭. I definitely think its a different experience listening to it post divorce, seeing a lot of the song are v sexy and giving honeymoon phase, but then ull hear lyrics like ‘acts so possessive and crazy, but ik its jus cuz u love me’ and songs like off the table and pov which show her vulnerability and insecurity. Idk if this is true but apparently someone commented on an eternal sunshine post saying positions is better and she responded ‘glad u finally like it! :)<3’ which i feel so bad for bc GIRL I WAS THERE. I LIKED IT.

3- dangerous woman- i was obsessed w her before this album but this got me OBSESSED. It’s a complete classic where she rlly showed her RnB skills with her pop skills and solidified her presence in the music industry. The songs are classics and for the most part aged pretty well. They bring you back to that era of music yet still work in this era and people love that. Like she performed into you at the met gala this year and its had a whole resurgence and reminded people of the pop star she truly is, like that fixed her image more than ‘yes, and?’ did. I will say there may be too many songs on it bc some of the pop songs are pretty forgettable. But when i say that know I NEVER MEAN JASONS SONG. That was a hidden gem of a diss track fr.

4- sweetener- sweetener and thank u next had always flip flopped for me in rankings but this recent relisten has made me realise yeah this has totally aged super well. Pharrells producing is super cool and unique and she’s definately implemented that style going forward, even though fans weren’t super receptive of it it doesn’t feel dated at all. If anything she was ahead of the curve. Girl literally started everyone typing in just lowercase and the upside down thing, all style and fashion choices she made during this time ud catch girls in school doing it too including me she was unstoppable. REM is iconic, and theres underrated gems like her cover of goodnight n go, and borderline. Also i wanna say people joke abt the song pete davidson abt how she shouldn’t have called it that, but like hearing the vibes of the song and the fact that theres so many jokes abt Pete Davidson being a women magnet it’s genius. Like imagine a small indie artist singing that cute dreamy love song and calling it pete davidson it would be fucking hilarious.

5- thank u, next- ik this is her pièce de résistance and i think it’s a great album, you rlly do get the sense that its all her emotions that were overwhelming her that she needed to get out as soon as possible. The trap style is great, with ‘in my head’ being a standout, it’s evident comparing to the rest of her stuff it’s her equivalent to a rebellious phase. It’s superrrr personal, almost too personal, not for the listeners but for her considering she said she didn’t wanna put ‘ghostin’ on the album but scooter kept pushing it. Beautiful song, but so sad. I just dont find myself revisiting a lot of them apart from in my head bc they just feel so of that time and no longer my thing.

6- yours truly- rlly cute album especially for a debut beginning of her black and white yet feline and feminine aesthetic. Luvvvedd the tenth anniversary lives she did, The Way will forever be a classic. The right there mv was everything to me as a kid. Her n big Sean were so good together their songs always hit. Putting this low bc why was there random EDM breaks at the end of some song nOt necessary gurl. And also she’s improved SO MUCH since this and it was such a strong debut its crazy

7- my everything- dont get me wrong this is great album started showing us her rnb n hip hop side, love her songs w big Sean, best mistake is one of her best songs, also be my baby (she always killed it w cashmere cat). Just the songs aren’t anything super crazy or unique theyre just 2014 hit singles if she kept up w this style instead of maturing w dangerous woman she would not be where she is now. But remember when she started a whole challenge of trying to sit on a stool bc of this album cover? Shes always got people talking even when she’s not trying.

[e17omm]

Im on the hub of P2 C5, having just started, and genuine question:

What was the point of P2 chapter 4? We just skipped over what happened when the petty goddess appeared at the end? We dont get to see anything except her appearance and knowing she exists?

They devoted an entire chapter to show a character design and then moved on?

Vita could have drawn a funny picture and we would have gained the same knowledge that the petty goddess exists.

My only question is "Why?"

They devoted an entire chapter to setting up the petty goddess - btw that's the only name I have for the dark sparky evil-looking floating person that appeared at chapter 4 - and they just moved on from that? Why?

Im sitting here baffled trying to imagine myself presenting a story like Hoyo is doing and I can only think of Snippets, me sending everyone up to the Moon to fight the Herrscher of the End, tension is high, its intense because the trip isnt easy, and then I just completely skip the fight and interactions and everything that happens and I move on to the result.

Is that what people want? We dont get to see any of the petty goddess doing ANYTHING? I have literally no idea how the end of chapter 4 played out. Everything is fine, there's chill music, no one seems to be in any hurry whatso ever?

Did the petty goddess attack them? Did she kindly tell us to stop destroying her city? Was she mad we woke her up early and she isnt a morning person? Did she declare war on us? Maybe she wanted to see the outside world and we're helping her achive that now?

I literally have no idea what happened between chapter 4 and chapter 5. Im sure I might get some answers to that once I start talking to people, but that doesnt change that we completely skipped over that encounter.

Imagine if chapter 17 ended like that! Mei becomes HoT and then the chapter ends and then chapter 18 starts as normal.

Theres nothing to properly tie chapter 4 to chapter 5 before chapter 5 moves on?

A different CG showing the petty goddess doing literally anything after appearing would have been fine at this point!

If they explain what happened and show it to me, my complaints still stand, because why not just start chapter 5 right after chapter 4 ended? Vita disconnecting everyone from the simulation would have been enough. At least then I would have known what happened right away!

[thebearemoji]

Thinking about kayn and his skins

I swear I'm gonna make it the length of this post without being a freak.

What is it about knock off Sasuke thats stuck in my craw? Its not like league has a shortage of edgy designs to choose from, so why does Kayn hit so differently?

For me the answer is pretty clear, the most interesting thing about kayn... is rhaast.

Kayn and rhaast deserve each other, a pair of power hungry killers fighting to consume the other and achieve incredible power. The never ending battle for control of kayn's body plays out every time you lock him in. Which of them will snuff out the other this time? Will kayn master his abilities? Or succumb to his demons?

There's no other champion like it, by playing kayn you actively play out his lore. It's so satisfying every time I see rhaast vanquish his naive counterpart or kayn purge the darkin once and for all. Genuinely never gets old.

Theres THIRTY-TWO MINUTES of voice over content, banter between him and rhaast that still makes me laugh even though I've been playing this skin for 5 years. To be clear, odyssey kayn is my favorite skin in the game, an absolutely perfect reimagining for a champion with so much potential.

The odyssey skin took it one step further. It made the characters... interesting. Gone are the try hard lines and grittiness, replaced with campe gregarious fun. Kayn goes from stuffy and dull in canon to a flamboyant and tyrannical space emperor. Rhaast retains much of the role he had before, the devil on kayn's shoulder trying to tempt him to embrace power until its too late. But as kayn let's his hair down, so does rhaast, letting him have a lot more fun dialogue as well. The amount of personality these two have crammed into them... Odyssey kayn and rhaast are an absolute delight to listen to.

My affection for odyssey aside, kayn has been fortunate. He's recently received a second legendary skin for the heartsteel event. This skin is a bit of a mixed bag for me, visually it's my favorite of the line, I love his loud colors and bright pink hair. I love the look of the scythe and the vfk. His verse in the music video was awesome, sounded just like rhaast rapping. But where odyssey succeeded in realizing the character's potential, Heartsteel falls short of the mark.

Heartsteel kayn only gets 11 minutes of voice over, which was already a red flag for me when I was hoping for more banter between the two characters. But a grand majority of this is base kayn peacocking, delightful to be sure, but... where's rhaast? Rhaast echoes almost every line base and odyssey Kayn say, he's constantly taunting him constantly chiming in. But he has maybe a quarter of lines that kayn does in heartsteel, and often they're standalone.

This skin takes a different approach to the relationship between kayn and rhaast, in the heartsteel universe, rhaast isn't kayn's enemy but more his... alter ego. If anything they seem to be allies in this skin, they even hang around after kayn's passive is completed and one usually dies. But this doesn't feel explored at all by the voice work.

If the purpose of this skin was to explore a scenario in which Kayn and rhaast are allies, then it's a failure. It seems more like this skin was meant to hide rhaast entirely, which is a damn shame since... Rhaast is the most interesting thing about kayn. It's a nice skin, but doesn't compare to odyssey imo.

(Cough cough) Also the voice over doesn't get new lines after transforming... which is a feature base kayn has... so its less that kayn/rhaast stick around after the transformation and more that this skin only has 1/3 of the voice work that base and odyssey do...(cough)

[candycoated-rage]

hazbin hotel review (first four episodes, spoiler free)

i literally only watched the show to see if it was any good outside of the ads and the hate on twitter and... its very hit or miss

im not gonna address ANY of the controversies in this show because it will lead to a biased opinion, but if you wanna look into the controversies, go ahead. this is only reviewing the show itself. not the producers, just the show. the cut underneath is gonna be long so be warned

the humor is either pretty good or very bad. and most of the time, most jokes are dragged down by ones before it or proceeding it. i personally find some visual gags funny, but most of the jokes revolve around swearing, sex, and violence. if you're into that, i won't judge. but i personally really don't like it.

the animation can be really beautiful at times! but i've also noticed a lot of animation errors. nothing major, but the most common one i've seen is that many charcters have a different lineart color than other characters (for example, angel dust as pink line art, while charlie has black) and it makes it look as if the characters are on completely different planes. theres a scene in the first three minutes of the show where charlie is holding onto vaggie, and it looks very unnatural to me. this isnt to mention the character design, as well. personally, i love the designs for characters like Velvette, Valentino, Nifty, and Sir Pentious, as well as a lot of the background characters. however, i don't like the designs of characters like Vox, Alastor, Angel Dust, and many more. the silhouettes of many characters end up looking extremely similar, and with the mostly red backgrounds in the show with most character's colors pallettes being shades of red, it makes it hard to distinguish the background from the character itself. the backgrounds are BEAUTIFUL, though. they're genuinely stunning, and i love the art done for them. it makes the world feel lived-in.

the show is a musical, and many of the songs are either very good or very annoying or forgettable. my favorite of the few we get is alastor and vox's song; i love the fast pace, the bickering between the two, and their general "tv and video" and "radio star" theme. on the other hand, both songs in episode three are extremely forgettable to me. i watched the episode not even an hour ago and i don't remember either of them. i also find Poison a very annoying pop song, and i really don't like that it's been stuck in my head ever since i heard the chorus. but, despite that, the music is usually the most consistently good thing throughout the show.

the voice acting is fine. some voice actors do great! alastor and husk have very unique voices, and they fit the character very well. however, my main criticism with the voice acting is angel dust. the accent is very jarring to listen to, and it feels pretty fake. again, very hit or miss.

the plot itself is what i don't like. the show often stops in its tracks to dump information on you, and it feels very shoehorned in. some episodes also have very generic plots, especially episode three. i could predict what was going to happen every step of the way. the structure makes it feel almost like it's for a younger audience, and not for adults.

overall, i personally think the show has its highlights, but i wouldn't go out of my way to watch any more. there are much better shows for mature audiences out there. if i were to rate the series, it would be around a five or a six for me. it's not atrocious, and if you enjoy the show for what it is, i completely understand. there are some great moments in the show! however, i wouldn't recommend this show for someone who likes adult animation.

tl;dr, it's a fine show, i have a very mixed opinion of it. wouldn't recommend unless you want some pretty good songs and some nice animation.

[waxsuyaaa]

beware! large amounts of yapping ahead!

okay its time for me to complain about people because my journal isnt cutting it for my standards in actually wordvomiting everything before I sleep

yay so theres one girl in my class, all stories I could ever say always start with “so there is one person in my class” im not original and neither are they because theres like 10 different boys and they all look and sound the same to me I havent memorised their names after 2 years and 3 of them have the same last name

okay so theres this one girl in my class and y’know how theres always a duo in a trio and apparently im always the one leeching off of other peoples friendships because im always the new person at the school for whatever reason and im probably never going to have a genuine friend group because either i dont try enough or people in schools absolutely suck (im leaning towards the latter option because I dont wanna blame myself)

OKAY im the singular loner oh so sad person in the trio and the other 2 people have so much in common like hey theyre family friends and like the same music and talk about men all the time and never strike a conversation with me and im the person who they pair up with and talk to when theres a task which we are in groups of 3s

so a teacher brought in taylor swift merchandise and I saw one of those light up wristbands and apparently the other 2 ppl who I *think* im friends with also like taylor swift (more than me, because im a wretched fake fan or whatever) and one of them says if they can have the wristband because it was the only one from the eras tour the teacher had and then she offered to buy it off me for 20 bucks and hey you know where this is going

she hasnt paid me in the half a year since that and I keep reminding her and she keeps telling me to remind her and she keeps on going “im gonna pay you next week I promise” like shut up if you’re not gonna keep your promise just say it. if you dont have the money literally just say it and next time we walk to your house you could give the wristband back

but actually the audacity like last week for her to say “why am i even paying you for this its just a bracelet” when we already agreed on it and i may be extremely petty but she could have said its freaking worth is only 5 cents or whatever and then her attempt to GUILT TRIP ME because her allowance is only a dollar everytime she does a chore?? and the fact she said oh just ask [the other person in the friend group] to pay?? like hey hello what this is just between you and i

and the fact that the other person in the friend group stands up for her is just ouchh what yeah I know them two were besties since they were in the womb and maybe even in a past life they were actually intertwined plants or whatevr

and they talked right in front of me just back and forth “oh you dont have to pay her its not worth it” “real friends dont owe people things its just out of kindness” and im like HEY IM RIGHT HERE BEHIND YOU and the fact they kept checking behind them to see if I was eavesdropping which was so incredibly easy because they were literally talking so loud I swear my life is recorded or something and theyre speaking loudly so the viewer can be in on the drama

and maybe im making drama out of nothing but these two CALL ME BESTIE and every single time i call them out on a fault or something and im like thats not what you said earlier BECAUSE EITHER THEIR MEMORY IS WACK OR THEYRE LIARS theyre just like “oh we’re joking” like what the hell you cannot use jokes to get out of situations

even when im not having a good day and trying to not engage in conversatjon as often theyre always like “why did you talk like that” like huh I didnt know I wasnt allowed to stop smiling for a while

i mean theres more stuff and im still gonna say it ive asked her [the uhh first one] if im interesting or not and she replied yeah sure and when asked why she said oh you say animal facts sometimes like HEY IM AN ACTUAL PERSON and the most interesting thing about me is that I say animal facts sometimes like hey look at me im an encyclopedia its literally like when teachers call me “their little calculator” or whatever also EWW this is why I dont like pet names they suck

so am i overreacting?? yeah

should I be thrown against a wall? yeah

can i sleep? no thats why im writing this

[spade-club]

Mental health update of sorts. Heavy stuff under readmore!!

Summary: still upset about getting cheated on forever ago but I'll be okay

Guess who's self harming again!! Its meeeee~

Read through some texts between my partner and one of the guys they cheated on me with. Most of it was in person (fun fact: they were roommates at the time!) So it wasnt much of it but it was still fucking uncomfortable!! I dont feel bad for reading it. I think they gave up their privacy when they did what they did tbh. But I know I shouldnt have done that because now its so easy to picture and to get the day-nightmare scenes set just right.

Me doing this was prompted by seeing him in passing at the store today. He was just shopping with his kid. As if he wasnt the gross pathetic asshole he was in those texts. And here my partner is shopping with ME, as if they werent the avoidant cheating asshole they were in those texts. All while I still dont know shit about what really happened between them!!

I have to remember that most of the time I do still love them a lot. Its just really hard to believe that they just,, got better. That they realized they were in love with me and they'll never do this again. It feels like a line. They still willingly disrespected the O N E rule I gave them. With MULTIPLE people. All while trying to convince me that I dont ACTUALLY want them to tell me if they are having sex with other people (real thing they did!! I was telling them the whole entire time "i might be okay with you sleeping with someone else but you need to tell me as soon as possible" and they kept telling me that they didnt believe I wouldnt be cool with that (which I would have been!! Duh! Or I wouldnt have said it!!) All while still actively PLANNING on NEVER telling me they were talking to two other people!! And slept with one of them!!)

I know things are better lately between us. But I cant help but think theres such a thin line here keeping me from getting hurt again. I'm afraid of trusting it, and I'm tired of having to consider it. Always having to think about it. Every time they go out, having to ask what they're doing and if I'm not sent a picture from wherever they are I panic.

The girls (which is to say the other parts of me that consider themselves my partner's girlfriends) can talk forever about how happy and safe they feel in this relationship. Genuinely, they could all go on and on and on! I know I'm sticking around here for good reason (and not just because I can't afford rent on my own!) I think its important to remember the good things and what this is all for. I wouldnt struggle this much here if I didnt love them. They make me coffee every day and open doors for me and we laugh and make music and share our little hobbies and interests together and we have such cute little patterns & routines. We're a family and we're here for eachother. We cry together all the time. They've comforted me though some wild shit. We host our little parties and get togethers as a team! We spend pretty much all of our time together (not just because I'm afraid of leaving them alone but also) because we really truly love being around eachother.

I just wish we didnt have such a rocky start that 7 months later I still can't get over it. It kills me every day that things didnt turn out just a little bit different. I would have liked going my whole life without having to have experienced how shittily they handled that. But its too late for that now!! Gotta just keep moving forward I guess! Relapsing into hurting myself over this situation is, realistically, just a slip up. These happen. I'm still recovering. I am still going to be okay. Things will be better again!! I was just triggered today but things will be better again!!

Gonna go to bed now maybe... yeah... its weed and homestuck time until the Z's drop or whateverr. Goodnight everypony!

[tigercomplex]

there is absolutely nothing more soul crushing than going to the spotify page of a band you cherish despite being obscure and long gone and seeing that the fourth result for the “discovered on” section is a 17+ hour fucking anime boy kinnie playlist.

[thatdeadaquarius]

*casually slides into asks*

The Creator having to be taught the language of Teyvat, except they don't realise that each country has their own seperate language and so they are just mixing and matching phrases from each of the languages and no one has any idea what they are saying

*slides back out of asks*

Hello hello my regular customer 💃

Before u slide out, have a cookie for the road! 🤲🍪

Ok but this would actually happen to me

Im partial to the headcanon that theres a trade language in Teyvat, but each country has their own native language, w/sub-dialects too (i think thats the word?)

Just like what u said basically, bc like what if they dont have the trade one 💀 it rlly is just diff languages and im just over here like 😃🗨👋

(Gif is u in the center trying to talk to other people on the sides lol)

Srry if uncreative or kinda a flop i am not a fountain of ideas as much as i wish to be😔🙏

This may be only funny to me...

But i did my bestest for you beloved regular <3

Also u didnt ask for this but u got it anyway LMAO <3

(sorry if i accidentally start callin u xiao pfp i couldnt find a name to call u by)

Ok but like?? Was anybody gonna tell you???

Or like r u so incomprehensible now bc youve mashed all their lingos together that they dont even recognize any of their languages anymore 😭😭???

Yall ever heard that meme sound that has like music playing in the background and its just a loop of a guy saying "..HuH?..HuH?...HuH?"

^^^Everyone else trying to understand you

..

...

.....?

WAIT A MINUTE ?!%

OH GOD OH NO PLEASEEDA@!?

I HAD THE WORST THOUGHTTT!!!!

DO U JUST SOUND LIKE A SIM TO THEM??!!!

😰😰😰😰🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲💀💀💀

CRYINGSOBBING

I CANNOT ESCAPE THIS INTRUSIVE THOUGHT PLEASE NOOOOO JDIOOALLFJSLAFQ

IM ACTUALLY LAUGHING ANDBCRINGING PLEASE -> GOD WALKS AROUND SOUNDING LIKE A SIM TO THE REST OF TEYVAT STOP

♧

Ok but so many people r trying so hard to teach u their language more fully so u can commit to one at least

(Off the top of head, Thoma, Tighnari but if u keep mixing them more and more even on accident he gets too frustrated and accepts it lmao, Amber, Ningguang she wants ur first teyvat lang. to be Liyuean so bad, Kazuha just wants to genuinely understand u and you understand them aw what a sweetheart, Ei once again a person who wants u to learn Inazuman first lol, Zhongli, Jean, Ganyu, Alhaitham but he'd be a terrible teacher i can see it now, Ayato, Ayaka, Gorou, Yae Miko just so u can actually read her novels abt you + have bragging right lol)

..

...Its not really working

Which makes sense tbh, at least to me, bc i sure as fuck couldnt initially hear a big difference between Portugese v. Spanish, Korean v. Japanese etc.

Until i like, kept hearing it over and over and finally got it

(it was easier to differentiate between them on paper than auditorily?? auditorally?!? aUDITORIALLY??!! GODAMMIT IS THAT EVEN A WORD)

.

But I could totally see their languages just all sounding really similar to you, or like, theres some bits and pieces from each lang. that mimic others (pantalones Spanish = pants English for example, and its like all u catch are the "pant" sound so ur like?? Ok so same language right? Hence the mix and match)

♤

So this happens on the daily these days,

U r still going and seeing people,

But nobody has managed to communicate to you that its all different languages lol 🤭

Like this below, happens all the time ⬇️

.

Ur having dinner w/ Kamisato clan bc ofc they wanna welcome u!! :D

And Thoma's there, and yall r at the Teahouse, Thoma just got out the hotpot (oh god🤢 ...wait is that you now, r u just like Venti saying oh Barbatos...?)

And they just started dinner but its already a problem w/ur ass LMAO

.

Thoma: "What do you want to drink Our God?"

You: "Ahfs kal aldsplease give me ahdhai?"

Thomas face just like "...😶🙁 oh no" HAHA

Ayaka trying to help him,

"Please repeat that Your Grace?" 😅

You, again lol: "I would dhkaied that aifjwe please :)"

U sound like a SIMMM TO THEMM 😭😭

.

Utter fail poor Ayaka is at a loss for once,

they're trying so hard to be polite and you havent even gotten a drink yet let alone the meal lmao,

Poor Thoma is struggling, hes just like,

"Um, uh, this one??" All worried bc now hes gotta point to the pitchers one by one until u either point or nod

AND THE REST OF THE DINNER IS JUST THAT SITUATION OVER AND OVER

U give up and just start nodding or pointing for food or napkins or drinks all like, "Oh wow my accent must be heavy today 😀🤷‍♂️"

Absolutely clueless, and they cant even figure out how to tell u lol

...

Oh god i dont wanna think about the chaos if ur also only understanding the basics of every language so not only do they not get all ur words, u dont get theirs 💀

Reminder :D = I have a ✨️poll for 100 follower celebration!✨️Yall get to choose what u wanna see me write about,✨️ Check it out!! :) ♡✨️

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds:

@karmawonders

(Feel free to tell me if u ever dont wanna be tagged anymore i wont be mad/offended :] !! )

[bandomgay]

THE ZANE LOWE INTERVIEW THOUGHTS ...

ALEX BEING CHEEKY ABOUT THE COMPLEMENTS PLS HES SO ❤️❤️❤️

zane is literally so sweet about how he approaches questions so differently from other ppl to Alex like I love the way he's adapting to Alex's personality and he makes Alex comfortable

Mirrorball and do I wanna know being the ones that set the stage for the album really shows and that really makes me think about Alexs love for the aesthetics of music and whether consciously or not and it kinda goes back to all am albums are essentially a place that you go to not only musically even though that's the art medium you r using to get there it's also visually a place and Alex knows that and he sees that actively while writing and reflecting

Zane pointing out JUST how sad mirrorball is AND RADIO WANTED TO CUT THE INITIAL INTRODUCTION and we learn (if you haven't already by inferring) that theres a relationship between the intro and "don't get emotional" like....that's fucking amazing like I was thinking it but him saying it blew my mind like reacting to music within music...and how it's represented in the video somehow gave me even MORE astounding love for mirrorball and what it means to me, genuinely a breathtaking detail

More speak of the unrealeased song!!!! Hopefully we get a b side maybe but usually it's released under singles so maybe not but we can hope since they're actively expressing interest in it

This may be way to opinionated sorry lol but Alex saying the end of the tbhc tour made him want to get back out there so like wildly getting that energy in and it sounds like he may have been going for a big studio stadium sound ("let's do summat BIG" , "all down strokes") it reminds me of Halsey if you guys keep up with them about their decision to go with the softer sounds of "If I can't have love" after realizing they were to caught up in their angst or the negativity of their life in a bad way which made it's way into their single "nightmare" and it reminds me of the end of the tbhc tour and it hurts to think about but I'm glad, even though all these songs are gut wrenching it's being put out in a healthy way now after reflection and there's a lot of talk of that in this interview sometimes subtle sometimes not

Also I think adding on the fact that Zane said it sounds like the band is fighting there way out of the songs but are not,if this isn't to far fetched kinda way reminds me of how reserved (prone to very outlandish/lh levels of self editing/self control)Alex is and how he's trying to combat that more recently (in interviews and in song) though they are small changes they make quite mighty strides in the long run

Love the ideas of the band itself being an instrument for something grander on this album it's like it's supporting an idea or a feeling and thats just how large that feeling is that the band itself is serving the songs and emotion

LOVE THE TALK OF BAND DYNAMICS LOVE THAT JAMIE IS STILL THE RASCAL DJJCJCJJDJCJDJJC them supporting Alex when he's doubtful about his ideas :')))) COOKIE MAKING THE BIG DECISIONS SINCE THE BEGINNING IS SO :)

Them talking about how crazy it was when it all first began even eluding to how stressful (even using the word traumatic which I agree with) that was being so young and having that much fame already Alex talking about how he literally doesn't remember playing the reading tent which is so :'(

ALEXS DEAD PAN "I think that were the intention" (or something along those lines) and Zane dying like u literally can tell if Alex is like being for real

ZANE BASICALLY TELLING HIM NOT TO BASICALLY RETREAT INTO HIMSELF WHEN ASKING HIM ABT MEMORIES IN A CAR ....Zane you bloody mindreader he knows fr (one of us! one of us one of us!)

MR SCHWARTZ STAYING STRONG FOR THE CREW.....love that Zane straight up asks who this is and Alex gives and very great metaphor that I actually got when I listened to it!!! Like I literally saw the same thing mentally like I imagined the crew putting the king's theater stage together when listening to it if that's weird idk (definitely something hidden in this metaphor)

THE RITZ TO THE RUBBLE BIT IS EVERYTHING TO ME..........OH MY GOD....A BIT BROADWAY ON THAT SONG HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!

And that concludes my mini analysis I hope u guys enjoyed reading that and have ur own thoughts u wanna send me or comment, sorry! if this post is too long I'm just :')

[damistrolls]

ummm lots of emojis for magpie duh, 💤 🥞 🍧 🍁 ☀️ 🌌 🪤 ✂️ 💡 🔧 🚆 💙💚

💤 do they fall asleep easily? what helps them sleep?

oh yeah he's an easy sleeper, made even easier when he's got someone to hold onto, be it lupo, lekthi, or one of his other friends. hell, give him a pillow or stuffed animal to hug and it has the same effect. he just sleeps 10x better when hes cuddling

🥞 what is their comfort breakfast?

well, there are plenty of breakfasts he really likes, but his comfort one would have to be chocolate chip pancakes. theyre so simple but so cozy and sweet

🍧 do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

i dont think magpie has anything that's super significant to him, but he definitely does have a LOT of old stuff, mostly cause he doesnt really throw things out. hes not a hoarder, it just doesnt occur to him that he should throw things away, cause he's never really had to clean any of it. theres all types of junk in his room, from toys and notebooks to actual literal junk that his ravens brought him. i dont think he'd even notice if something went missing!

honestly i feel bad for lekthi because magpie will probably start filling the guy's home with random stuff he finds too. theyre gonna need to have a sit down about only keeping important things

🍁 what is their favourite season? why?

i think he genuinely loves every season. each of them are special for their own individual reasons. if he HAD to pick though, i think he'd pick spring, both for what it represents, and because it's a rainy season. he absolutely loves going outside when its raining and jumping around like he's never seen rain before sgdfhjdsf

☀️ are they a morning person? what is the first thing they do in the morning?

sort of? he likes getting up early, but he's usually very slow to actually wake up. funny enough, the first thing he does is usually look for something to eat, even though he hasn't even washed the sleep out of his eyes yet

🌌 what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

THIS song is the reason magpie is here today. it's basically his theme, and the singer, vitas, is also his voiceclaim. the music video being about a fish guy is kinda funny though because magpie originally started as a human, so its actually MORE fitting for fantroll magpie

anyways, the first thing i decided about him is that he would be unapologetically himself, no matter how much it inconvenienced or even hurt other people. it was weirdly a joint effort between me and my old therapist, cause i was extremely ashamed of and overly apologetic about essentially everything about myself, including the mere fact that i existed. magpie could go to extremes in a way that i could and would never, and it genuinely did help me be more okay with... like. existing, taking up space, and yes sometimes even inconveniencing others

not to get overly vulnerable on a silly little ask meme, but magpie helped me in a really significant way, and he means a lot to lil ol me <3

🪤 - what will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for?

i mean, magpie would happily walk straight into certain danger without prompting anyways, since he's got like... a way different metric for what's dangerous than everyone else. so honestly, giving him any sort of reason or incentive is overkill. if you point to a pit of spikes and say 'you should go there' i think he wouldn't be like 'you know that DOES sound fun'

✂️ what is the "last straw" for them to cut someone out of their life? how easily do they let go of people?

it really depends how long he's known someone, and how close they've gotten. for newer friends, magpie will quite literally cut them out of his life (like with some actual scissors snip snip) as soon as they stop being interesting or fun to have around, or as soon as the killing urge takes him over

for people who have managed to stick around long enough to become dear to him, i dont really think there's much that'll make him drop you. except like, if he wins when he's making one of his regular attempts on their life, but then he'd be extremely depressed to see them go :(

💡 is your oc a planner? do they write down every small detail or just wing it?

he plans out things like his performances very meticulously, but for basically everything else, he's spontaneous and unpredictable. it's in his nature to just go where the wind takes him

🔧 are they good at fixing relationships? or do they tend to avoid doing so?

id like to think he is. he's very intent on finding what the problem is and doing his best to either fix it or find a workable compromise. and even if there's no good solution, he's a very emotionally available person and will absolutely hear someone out and sympathize with their plight. in my experience, its kind of hard to stay upset with someone who is that good at communicating and genuinely just wants everyone involved to be happy

🚆 what is their answer to the trolley problem?

i think hes just happy he gets to be in the metaphorical trolley. i dont think he even realizes its an ethical puzzle, like you'd ask him what he'd do and he'd just be like 'hm... can i make it go faster?'

💙 do they miss their s/o easily? how do they act when their s/o isn't around?

weeeeell he technically doesnt have a s/o, but we both know he treats lupo and lekthi like he's dating them so i'll answer with them in mind

i think he's pretty good at entertaining himself, but that he still doesnt really like being alone. he tends to miss lekthi and lupo, as well as everyone else important to him, in the off-chance they're not around. when he's on his own, he'll usually take the opportunity to get something done that might be harder when he's around people, like reading, writing, or practicing music. still, he's a social butterfly, and will typically find a way to at least be in the same space as someone he cares about, even if they're not actively engaging with one another

💚 what things make your oc feel comforted? hugs, kisses, food?

i think he's less comforted by specific actions, and more comforted by just... general effort put towards him. if you show him you care in your own way, no matter what way that is, he'll probably be very comforted. any and all love languages will make him so comfy cozy because to him, the intent matters more than anything else in a situation like that

[afoolnottoloveu]

maybe i’m imagining things ♡

Summary: You don’t really feel like you belong at the BAU just yet (WC: 2.1k) {Masterlist <3}

Pairing: Spencer Reid x gender neutral!Reader

TW: smoking, mentions of death, swearing, mentions of alcohol

A/N: i dont smoke so theres highkey gonna b smth wrong with the description,,, but it just felt right okay, also it was a song reference as well >:(( also, this is for lucy’s fic contest! congrats on 3000 sweetheart <3

Song Pairing: Why Am I Like This? - Orla Gartland

--

You could remember the feeling, how it started that night at the bar. Despite the conversations of your new team swirling around you, you felt like a stranger. You didn’t think much of it at first, you just thought you were imagining things. You’ll grow into it, you told yourself. 

After exactly a year at the BAU, you still couldn’t decisively say you were part of the family. As cases came and went, you felt the same. An outsider. A guest living with a family. You couldn’t blame them, really. As you should, right? They weren’t like this with any of the other newbies; it was you who intruded.

The last case felt no different. It was a family annihilator, and all you could think about were the victims. Unbeknownst to the team, except Aaron, you knew almost exactly what the family of the victims were going through. Your feelings were taking a toll on you, and everything from the jet ride to heading back to the office was a complete daze. Your mind was somewhere far off in the distance, only snapped back by the soft touch of JJ placing her hand on your shoulder before you could walk through the glass doors.

“Are you coming tonight?” She asked as if you already knew of what was happening tonight.

“Uh, w-what’s tonight?”

“We’re going to-”

“O’keefe’s!” Penelope squealed, running out of her batcave with the clicks of heels following.

“Oh, um-” you hesitated, but you remembered how badly you wanted to be a part of their family, and a drink didn’t sound too bad at the moment, “yeah! Yeah, I’ll just meet you guys there alright? M’gonna just grab some stuff.”

“We’ll see you down there!” Penelope bubbled, before sweeping everyone else into the elevator. You gave a small smile and wave, catching Spencer’s gaze  just as the doors shut. Maybe you had learned to hide it well after all these years, but for profilers, they really had no idea what was going on inside your head.

You couldn’t help but glance up at Aaron’s office through the glass doors. Everyday you debated if the BAU was really for you, every day for a year, now. Not knowing if this was a mistake or not, you slipped through the bullpen and made a beeline for his office. Relatively quickly, you found the papers you were looking for after a quick search through his cabinets. You didn’t want to have the conversation with Aaron, but he was the only person on this floor with them. You shoved them in your purse, just in case. In case of what? You didn’t know either.

- 

You tried to enjoy yourself, you really did, but your head was just filled to the brim with thoughts you couldn’t bear. The fuzzy, stuffy feeling of the bar would usually help you blend right in, but right now it made you sick. You excused yourself from the table, not like you were part of any of the conversations that were happening anyways, and stepped out.

Through your work blouse and slacks, the October wind nipped at your skin. You opened your purse and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Your habit started young, smoking being one of the only things that could effectively calm you. Your dad was a smoker, but he really tried his best to stop. He wouldn’t be proud of you for following in his footsteps, but so be it.

Placing the cigarette between your lips and lifting your lighter to the end, you failed to notice someone approaching from behind you.

“6 minutes.” 

Startled, you fumbled and dropped your cigarette from your lips and it hit the concrete, causing you to loudly mutter a curse. You whipped around to cuss out whoever made you drop it, but you’re met with the same eyes you saw before the elevator closed.

“Jesus Christ, Spencer. I just lit that!” His expression doesn’t change, so you rummage through your purse pulling out the box of cigarettes once again. “And I know what that means, 6 minutes off my life for every cigarette I light.” Faced towards the street, you tried to light it, but failed. As the wind kept blowing out the tiny flame, you kept trying. “To be frank, 6 minutes isn’t a whole lot of time in the grand scheme of things. It’s like, one less shower. I could live with that I think.”

Still not hearing a reaction from him, you turn his way, naturally. He seems to be finding your purse very interesting, and for a moment you think, is pretty boy gonna rob me?, but you finally realize he can see the bold print title and FBI logo on the papers that you grabbed sticking out from your purse.

“Why?” is all he asked, his voice dripping in devastation. You look up to meet his eyes and there’s a gloss over them that you know too well. “Why would you wanna transfer? The BAU is-”

“-the crown jewel of the FBI. I’ve heard it.” You take the cigarette out of your mouth to reply. Unable to meet his eyes anymore,  you fixed your eyes on the street once again, but you minded your voice, careful to not let it crack nor reveal too much, “I can’t explain it, Spencer.”

“I think you can, but you don’t want to.” The hurt in his voice was still evident and you had to wonder, why was it there in the first place? He doesn’t really care, his family’s inside the bar.

You brought the joint back to your lips and tried to light it one last time, and you successfully did so, inhaling the smoke and letting it encase your lungs like a blanket. “It’s just-” A long pause lingers in the air before you come to your senses, removing the cigarette from your lips. Blowing out a cloud, the wind carried the gray smoke down the sidewalk, with your eyes trailing. “You know what? No, nevermind. It’s nothing, Spence. I might not even transfer.”

“You wouldn’t grab the papers unless you were seriously considering it, Y/N,” he huffed, intent on finding out the real reason, “Come on, you were gonna have to tell us at some point. Why not start small? Why are you leaving us?” You were getting frustrated from the simple fact that he was right, and suddenly you were very sick of the cigarette you were holding. 

“Fine Spencer, if you wanna know so goddamn bad then I’ll just tell you! I just- the BAU isn’t for me! And it’s not the job, it’s- it’s you! It’s all of you! I can’t be in the same room with all of you for anything other than a debriefing without feeling like I don’t fucking belong! You guys are a family, and I still feel like it’s my day one. If you guys can do this job so well without me, then why shouldn’t- why should I even be here?” You didn’t know when the tear slipped, but they just kept coming, and you were over this cigarette, throwing it to the ground and stomping on it a little too hard.

There was a silence. A cold, heavy silence, filled with nothing more than the gentle breeze, a couple cars passing in the distance and leaves falling. You suppressed your sobs as much as you could and wiped your face repeatedly. 

Oh god, you thought, did I really just say that? Fuck, fuck, shit, why am I like this-

“If I asked you to stay,” His voice was soft- you knew your response wasn’t the one he was expecting. All you could do was glance at him, not knowing where he was going with this. “Would you?”

“What’re you talking about?” The words were a whisper, you wouldn’t be surprised if he thought it was just the wind. You genuinely didn’t understand what he meant, but in your head, you had already answered his question.

“Y/N, I--I just wanna talk, okay? Can you listen? Is that alright?” His voice was comforting, and with the way you were feeling, it was music to your ears. It reminded you of the way he spoke to children, but you were just too damn exhausted to call him out on it; so you nodded, but you kept your eyes on the street in front of you, watching a taxi pass by.

“You know, when I first asked you ‘why?’ a few minutes ago, when I was saying that the BAU was the crown jewel of the FBI? Well, that wasn’t what I was going to say at all. I was gonna say that the BAU is where you belong, Y/N. We don’t only want you to stay, we need you to stay. You were the one who talked down that unsub today. You can defend yourself better than almost any of us. You treat us like family, with the coffee every Wednesday and checking on all of us regularly. We notice these things, Y/N. Do you? Because it’s almost like it’s second nature to you.”

You had to take several deep breaths before you could gather yourself enough to respond; you closed your eyes as you spoke. “Do you know why I so badly want to be so close to all of you? My- my parents were both killed by- by a sociopath. I was 15. I started smoking then. My aunt took me in and I lived with my cousins. They were closer to each other than to me, though. I- I don’t know, I had a family, I guess. I mean, my aunt and her two daughters were my family, but- I don’t know, I’m not making sense.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t know that at all, I thought they were your sisters. I get it. Well, I don’t, but I know what you’re trying to say. You didn’t have one as a teenager, but you have one now. Everyone inside of that bar thinks of you as their family. I know you don’t see it, but I can assure you that they do.”

You forgot your eyes were closed. They opened to the touch of Spencer’s hand on your arm, and there he was, standing in front of you. You wanted to cry more, but the sight of Spencer in front of you made you smile and your heart swell. You knew every word that left his mouth was genuine, full of love and understanding. You rushed forward and hugged him, burying your face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around you and cradled your head. It was almost funny, you were sure this was the most you had touched the germaphobe like, ever.

Into his sweater you sniffled and mumbled, “What about you Spencer?”

He pulled away from the hug, both of you still clinging to the other, but enough to have to look in each other’s eyes. He tilted his head as if he were asking what you meant.

“Do you- are we family?”

His only response was an airy chuckle and a swift, soft peck to your forehead. Huh, that’s new. You weren’t saying you didn’t like it though, no, not at all. He pulled you back into the hug and said into your hair “We don’t have to talk about that right now. But honestly? I think of you as something else, Y/N/N.”

And that was okay. The warmth of his breath on your hair and his sweater wrapping you neatly like a gift, it was more than okay.

-

Spencer led you back into the bar after you had fixed your makeup. Luckily, the wind actually helped to dry your tears pretty quickly. The team was gathered around the table, blocking something from your sight. As the two of you approached, you heard Penelope say “Oh, oh oh! They’re here! Y/N’s here!”

The rest of the team turns to you and in front of you, JJ is holding out a red velvet cupcake with a candle in it. “Happy one year!” The team cheered as a chorus. Your eyes widened and your face lit up. Your shock rendered you almost speechless.

“How’d you remember? Oh my gosh, you guys!” you smiled. With everyone egging you on, you blew the candle out, causing an array of cheers and claps.

“Honestly, some of us didn’t. But you know who did remember?” Morgan commented with a wink. You turned to see Spencer scratching his neck, smiling down at you, the look making your heart swell just a lil’ bit more. 

You grabbed his arm and pulled him over with you to the table, the team clearing a spot for the two of you. Conveniently, shots for everyone had already been poured out, readily awaiting your consumption. You grabbed the shot glass and raised it towards the middle of the table.

“To family,” you beamed. Maybe I was just imagining things.

--

Taglist (send an ask to be added): @prettyboy-reid @eusuntgroot @veraiconcos​ (congrats on 3k again!)

[girls-are-very-pretty]

Hi! So I talked to my friend about the movie The Great Gatsby earlier and I said the movie is better than the book and he thinks the book is always better than the movie, so I wrote up a thing and sent it to him that is 3 reasons why the movie is better than the book, and I actually think theres some very good points here and I got enthusiastic about it so I really want to share it, so I’m going to. Hopefully someone else has opinions because while I personally think the movie is better and theres many reasons beyond the scope of this three point list, I am always interested in hearing new perspectives and opinions, so like don’t yell at me because I get hurt easily but like tell me what you think:

Reason why I liked the movie better than the book Number One: In the movie it starts with Nick Carraway in an institution, it uses his therapy to reflect upon, and in turn play out, the story. This is excellent because not only does it leave you wondering what lead up to this (if you haven’t read the book), but it also expresses and implies that the events in the story have a lasting impact. That they exist beyond the scope of the immediate tale, that the characters mean something both in general and to each other. The events of the story affect Nick Carraway in such a profound and deeply distressing or painful way that he was left with no option but to go to an asylum in what I assume is the 20’s-30’s which was never really the preferable option.                                                      

Reason Number Two Why I liked the Movie Better: The Actors. There's that one scene around the middle where daisy and Gatsby are in Gatsby’s house and they tour it and daisy says its beautiful, and Gatsby throws shirts at her and she says they’re beautiful and that he’s ruining them. 

When we read the book all we know of Daisy is that she seems to be shallow, always wants to have money, this seems to be proven when she remarks on the beauty of his house and the clothes but the key difference is the actors. In the book you can’t connect to Daisy at all, she’s functionally emotionless.

 But in the movie she’s beautiful and vivid, when she’s with her husband she’s always quiet and does whatever he says, but when she spends the day with Gatsby and Nick, she’s loud. She breaks things and Gatsby looks at her like she hung the stars herself, so she keeps going. They play around and she talks about dancing in the big hall. She jumps on the bed and twirls around. Then, when he throws the shirts at her, she isn’t looking at them. She says they’re beautiful but she’s looking at him. She’s laughing genuinely for the first time in the whole movie, and when she says “you’ll ruin them” she suddenly becomes sad, she collapses onto the bed and Gatsby runs to her as she tears up, she says “they’re just so beautiful” and looks across the bay to her house, but its a cover up. Its her realizing that she can make messes here, she doesn’t need to be worried about ruining things, her husband isn’t going to yell at her because she isn’t the prim, proper, beautiful, showpiece woman he was promised. Its her realizing she can’t have this and it’s all going to end when she gets home. 

She loves Gatsby and she loves being treated like a person, someone who can express herself and break golf clubs if she hits things wrong and she won’t get in trouble for it. But she made her bed and now she must lie in it, no matter how much she hates it and desperately wants to leave. You can’t read that in the book, it’s simply not there, but the actors bring the characters off the page, they give them compelling reasons to have actions, you understand their emotions significantly better. And it's beautiful.                         

 Reason Number 3 Why the Movie is Better: The music. The music is a mix of popular tracks by Beyonce and JZ but also by strong indie pop singers such as Lana Del Ray and Florence and the Machine. 

The story happened a long time ago and we can’t always sympathize or connect with things that happen a long time ago but some of the more modern “radio tracks” you could say, help express the decadent era as something we can understand. Fun, light hearted, mischievous and dramatic. And then the other tracks come in, Young and Beautiful as well as Over the Love and they’re so emotional and dramatic and heart wrenching that even though these are rich people and we associate them with those other light hearted tracks because “money buys happiness” these tracks come in and show you its the complete opposite. 

It’s a punch to the gut and the song sticks with you after the movie ends. This idea of money and decadence not being able to buy happiness is really what the whole story is about so the tracks support the main thesis so well in these subtle but powerful ways that I still listen to these soundtracks even now because they speak to a deeper part of the human condition. Its like even though the curtains have closed, humanity continues, life goes on and its tragic and brutal. 

There's also a line in Over the Love where Florence says “there's a green light in your eyes” and it connects to when Daisy goes to Nick’s house and they both go to Gatsby’s. There’s a scene where she says “I can see my house, just across the bay,” and he looks at her and the light reflects in his eyes in such a way that the blue looks green for just a moment and its symbolic. There’s the green light on her dock marking her as forever out of his reach, and there’s the green light in his eyes. He’s out of reach as well because she’s married and has children. They’re both out of reach and there's nothing they can do about it. 

The music brings it all together and I feel like I wouldn’t have noticed that little detail in that scene if the music hadn’t been filled with subtle nods to important parts of the story, just like the book has you read between the lines and make connections yourself, the music is the space between the lines. You have to really listen to it and if you do you feel like so much has been opened up to you, the movie is just as multifaceted as the book, you just have to give it the benefit of the doubt.