#no but fr I have so many drawings of him it’s killing me

[ghost-sin]

Fanbaby

I also want to add that idk if everything is accurate but I don’t think no one cares if it is or isn’t.

(I don’t like biology)

[copinghex]

Blood hands | T.S

Summary: After killing someone for the first time, Tommy's wife has to deal with the emotional consequences of it. Luckily, he's there to look after her.

She was terrible in biology, never got more than a B, it didn't matter how hard she studied. Every exam period she went to the tiny, dusty Birmingham's library and took notes from the anatomy books. Nothing ever changed.

Analyzing the drawings, she tried to make sense out of them, the muscles, joints and bones, wrapped together in the masterwork of the human body. It just didn't make sense to her, the subject simply wouldn't get into her brain and honestly, it disgusted her too. She had no wish to see beneath someone's skin, aware the reality was much more bloodier and morbid than the books.

Less than ten years later, she did, but unlike she imagined, the bile didn't rise to her throat expressing the deep disgust. Her eyes opened widely, unable to move from the mess of what once must've been a beautiful body.

The curly golden locks hid the agent's frightened looks, gladly, because the murderer in the train station wouldn't bear to face the lack of life in her blue eyes. 

Blood ran down her nose, her hands shook and her left eye stung. The woman who a few ago held her in disadvantage, sticking a sharp nail into her orb, was reduced to nothing by the train's velocity. A push was all it took.

Then, her trance was interrupted by the sound of steps, she ran away like a child avoiding punishment, not many people dared to fuck with a gangster's fiancée, but the ones who did certainly would make her look much worse in the train tracks.

As she headed home, carrying her heels in hand so she could walk faster, another haunting thought crept into her mind, Tommy, the reason why she had blood in her hands. She was sure he'd be dead when she got home, with a bullet Billy Kimber would've put in his brain.

For a moment she considered not going anywhere, simply sitting down on someone's pavement so she wouldn't have to deal with anything. 

If she only could, she'd ask God to allow her man to be alive when she got home, she couldn't, asking Him to save a man like Tommy felt like blasphemy or a joke of poor taste. There was no salvation for the Small Heath's devil, at least not from divine sources.

Swallowing the bitter taste of uncertainty, she walked home with a heavy heart. However, much for her surprise, Tommy stood at the front door, his eyes slightly widened at her awful state. Her throat burnt with the urge to cry as she dropped her heels and wrapped her arms around him, he winced in pain from the bullet hole in his chest, nevertheless, allowed her to hold him.

His name poured from her lips in quiet, relieved whispers. His attentive eyes were quick to capture every irregularity in her figure, bruised knuckles, teary eyes and bare foot. He had never seen her so broken.

"I was coming to pick you up," he explained, "what happened? Where were you?" 

Lifting her head from his shoulder, her still shaky hands hesitated in cupping his cheeks, resting on his shoulders instead. She negatively nodded and peeked at the wound under his coat.

"You're alive, that's all that matters," 

"What happened to you?" he insisted.

"Tommy, please," she breathed out, caressing the length of his arms, "not now, not fucking now," 

His jaw tightened as he fought the urge of arguing, he hated to have things hidden from him, but knowing he'd eventually find out anyway, he obliged to her wish.

Gently, his thumb met the eyelid of her wounded eye, "That's fucking bad," 

"I'll go to the pharmacy tomorrow, they'll give me something to get it better," she drawled, "now, tell me what happened," 

"...Danny whizz-bang is dead," was all Tommy deemed as relevant, guilt weighted heavily on the sergeant's voice, he was responsible for his soldiers' safety and he had failed Danny badly.

"Oh, darling," she muttered, "I'm so sorry," 

Looking away from her merciful eyes, he slightly nodded. Reaching for a cigarette from his silvery pack before saying, "We're at the Garrison now," 

"I'm not up for it, you can go back if you want," with a quick brush on his cheek, she entered home and in a quick decision, Tommy followed after, "I'll take a bath, then take a look at your bandages, who took the bullet out?" 

"Jeremiah," he drawled.

She nodded, glad someone gentle as the preacher looked after her husband when she wasn't able to. Heading to the bathroom, she only hoped the hot water would wash away the weight on her shoulders.

-

Rubbing her hands together, she watched the quiet street through the window, every now and then a lonely citizen walked past and this was all keeping her from dissociating.

The bath wasn't of great help, the relaxation it brought also lowered the adrenaline, making her muscles and wounds ache. A knot tightened on her throat as she tried to convince herself everything was fine. Everything was fine, Tommy was alive, no one was after them anymore, nothing else mattered, nothing.

The door suddenly opened, making her jump. Tommy entered the bedroom with a towel on his shoulder, his bare torso was still wet from his bath and he moved slowly, careful to not get his injury bleeding.

Attentively, she noticed his mind was far away from there, a pout decorated his lips and his brow was tense. Eager to sooth his worries, she whistled the stereotypical catcalling sound. 

"Hello, handsome," she weakly smiled.

Lifting his eyes, a nearly nonexistent smile crept into his face, "Quit that," 

She walked to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, "Do you come here often?" 

"In my bedroom?" he chuckled, "Yeah, quite often," 

She took advantage of his momentarily good humor to take a look at his wound. Before she could avoid it her eyes got filled with tears, she had nearly lost him today, not all the killing she was able to commit would've brought him back if she'd done so, he'd be gone, simple as that.

"D'you want to tell me what happened now?" Tommy cupped her face, trying to distract her.

"...I love you, Tom," was all she was able to mutter.

"I know, and I love you," 

Slightly nodding, she sighed, "What now?" 

"Well, I-" he hesitated, "I thought of opening a club in London," 

"About Danny," she sat at the end of the bed, "what about his family?" 

"We'll help them, financially," Tommy explained.

"Get his children a job?" 

"No, no more business for the Owens," he sighed, "they'll be normal, his children will never know why he died," 

Hearing his words, her throat tightened, a heavy feeling settled in her chest. Did the woman she killed had children? When she first got into the Garrison Tommy found out she did, but that was before they ever suspected she was a copper, how much of everything she said was lies? How would her child react to knowing its mother was dead on train tracks? 

Tommy watched his fiancée's state with pity in his eyes, he hated her stubbornness at the same time he was well aware of how much they were alike. Both closed off before trouble, hating to burden the other with issues they deemed personal. 

"You know, eventually you'll have to tell me what happened,"

Her watery eyes met his and she pulled him to stand between her legs, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on the soft skin of his stomach.

Gently, he petted her hair away from her face and his rough fingers on her face brought some relief, still, she felt like a wounded beast. A wounded beast is still a beast and she'd forever be a murderer regardless of Tommy's acceptance.

"Tell me, eh?" he whispered.

"Tommy, I-" before she could answer, three knocks on the door interrupted.

Arthur entered the bedroom with a worried expression, "Tommy, hm, I just wanted to tell you we found the body of that barmaid in the train tracks, Johnny Dogs wants to know if he should get rid of it," 

She froze, eyes widened at the news, she was so deep into her own guilt she didn't even think about the further consequences.

Tommy switched a look between her and his brother, with a slight nod, he ordered, "Get rid of it," 

Small Heath had another murderer to call resident, there was no way of hiding it now.

[arty-holly]

I caught up with the bllk manga and it is a 5 course meal with the way it is serving rn.

Rin's moment came and it is mind blowingly perfect. I could’nt ask for more and there are so many delicious details it's terrific.

The title of this chapter is very interesting to me for reasons. Because Rin as a character is shown to be connected with death and suicide. Infact his 1st character defining line is " Soccer is a battle to the death". Later we find the seed of this thinking in little Rin. He's a weirdo who flings himself at pigeons at toy blocks and a completely opposite mentality to the other kids. The ultimate monster who fights someone stronger, gives his all, and then dies is incredibly cool to him. He hopes to be someone like him in the future . So is it really coincidence if the title of his chapter has a clever wordplay with a famous author who was also suicidal and who wrote a book called " No longer human"?

Now Dazai Osamu was an remarkable author and coincidentally (those who watched Bsd will know) he strived to do double suicides with the women he was in love with. So is it really coincidence that the words that comes out of Isagi’s mouth are " I'll die with you!"? Are you all seeing the romantic connotations here guys?👀

Moving on, just the general remarkable-ness of these recent chapters is blowing my mind.

To see Isagi, the master adapter, arguably the best person in Blue lock who can analyze others to perfection floundering at the anomaly that is Itoshi Rin is so great. This is the first and only time Isagi has been unable to decipher the thought process of another person to this extent. It's gonna make the time when he does get through Rin so much more satisfying. 💚

And its too sad that Rin is so chained in by his feelings that he can't kick a goal his teammates would kill to have because of his own mind( bro needs a therapist fr). It's so baffling to others watching from the outside, but to Rin, it makes perfect sense. It's the way he's almost begging for someone to come, someone to break in and-

The image of Isagi literally swiping away Sae’s phantom, almost reassuring him that he's here, he's real is too beautiful. When Rin is about to lose everything, Isagi is the one who is there. I'm pretty sure Loki would've benched Rin if he threw away a goal again, so Isagi is the reason Rin is still playing in this match. Just the visual framing in this panel is too good.

Do I need to say more?

The way Isagi's eyes look so bright as if he's giving hope to Rin. Rin's EXPRESSION 😭(All we need are some flower petals)

Tell me this isn't poetic beauty, come in my face and tell me this isn't the epitome of romance.

Regardless if it is romantic or platonic, I still adore the way they're written into each other’s arcs. I wasn't the one to notice this, but if Isagi had collided into Rin and Rin had not scored, Isagi would've been red-carded instead of being let off with a yellow card. ( His head was definitely not all there in this moment)Isagi Yoichi, thank your stars your lover is a genius , bro would've been cooked otherwise.

And at the end,

We see the old Rin again, finally enjoying the game he worked his entire life for. (Off topic, but he looks so cute and gorgeous here) and the catalyst for that is none other than our protagonist.

Isagi is the light that brings hope to Rin and Rin is the centre, the ideal for Isagi’s growth. They saved each other.

All of NEL hasn't been exactly amazing but Kaneshiro's writing peaked in these chapters. There is so much said in every panel, so much emotion expressed in each drawing, It's incredible.

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Wakfu Season 4, Episode 2 [PART 2]

Every time someone says this in this franchise, you should immediately raise 20 red flags because one of the reoccurring themes is "by thinking that you're good and that your intentions are good, so whatever you do is good, you doom yourself to doing evil" or something.

THERE IS SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT HERE....

He's standing on his toes. For some reason, he did not want to take, idk... something to stand on.

The place is still a grabage dump. He's still the good old Jojo we know.

He has a lot more books. Also, quite conspicuously, the shelf that has them shields what used to be his wall of celebrity posters and drawings. lol.

So many plushies... on one hand, it's so cute. The facade of professionalism he had before we knew him well is long gone by now. On the other hand, when coupled with the general infantilization of him by Kerubim and Atcham, it kinda.... feels bad.

He has a new ladder for his bed that doesn't have splinters and rusty nails sticking out of it. He probably bought it himself due to there being No Hope in Kerubim Crepin.

Also, his hobby of cartography is acknowledged once more, considering the parchments that are lying everywhere.

Another thing that feels Vaguely Bad is that we've come a long way from "I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE, STOP TREATING ME LIKE THIS, STOP CALLING ME JOJO!" to "I don't give a shit anymore. Call me anything you want... feels kinda nice too... :)"

The brain poisoning is so major with Joris. No hope for him.

Anyway, it's funny that they just call Ush The Sleazebag. Implies he's a thorn in their side enough of the time for them to actually have a nickname.

God, his room is so trashy. He's just like me fr....

"Let's kill Tot with Hammers" moment #3: They forgor to animate his mouth... where did they even PUT all that money they saved by reusing art made for the movie.

I'm pretty sure that there's like, some translation mistakes here.

This is what he says in French: "Is your dealings/drama/beef with the Sibllings over?" and technically this translation is correct... but, the phrasing of the translation is misleading.

There are two brotherhoods in the series: the forgotten, and of tofu. But in French the words used for both are different: La Confrérie du Tofu, and La Fratrie des Oubliés.

So I am 80% sure what Joris is actually asking is, "Are you finished with the Brotherhood of the Forgotten? Or are you here to fight me?"

When Ush responds with "it all died down" he's kinda making a joke about Oropo, and their whole group being... yeah. fdjgskdfg. And the translation of this line is also not really conveying it.

This is why Joris continues by confirming that Ush isn't involved.

If Ush is no longer a part of a doomsday cult, then he's probably not a danger or connected to this.

He gets so heated once Yugo is mentioned... I am once again reminding you, that Joris likes Yugo a lot.

In this shot, there on the shelf, we can see the woven basket cat bed that Joris slept in as a child and which migrated to be a basket for clothes in the movie after he actually got a real bed.

The Ush grindset:

Come to Joris's house to say that the guy he's parasocially besties with is sus and that his mom hurt the 12 gods. Say you won't get involved & don't give a shit. Leave.

Yeah, yeah, Ush is a bontarian, he likes being heroic and doesn't want the world to be destroyed or something, but it was also 100% some sort of a fucky-wucky mindgame against Joris.

[hinamie]

My I ask why are you a gojohater? I am a gojolover and love your gojopieces and love your portrayal of Gojo and Megumi, and I've known you're a gojohater since before I hit follow, but I am honestly curious haha I am a gojolover, but I love criticism of Gojo (and anyone tbh but him in specific precisely because I like him a lot) both narratively and metanarratively, both his writing and his personality. So I am really curious, all the more because I always love your takes on him not just in image, but in concept. Many of my fave people to talk about my fave characters are haters of my characters, it's alright, truly. I really mean no harm. I'm just super curious because I think it could be very juicy and intricate analysis given your portrayals of Gojo xD

I am asking on anon because I'm shy and you're a big account, but I could ask off anon too if you're not comfortable with answering this question without putting a face on the sender, or in public as a whole. I am not shy enough that it would be a problem to me if you prefer it. Of course, please feel free to ignore my question too if you don't want to reply for whatever reason (even just not being in the mood, that's good enough reason in my books xD)

In any case, thanks for drawing and sharing your art with us!

Hi anon! i’m glad you like my art of him but if you’re expecting an intricate analysis on gojo you’ve come to the wrong blog :’> 

as fr my thoughts on him,,, listen. I hate on him as a meme gsdhjf it’s not that serious. i’ll come out and say it, I don’t /actually/ hate the guy, really the extent of it is just that I think he's annoying a lot of the time and not in a way that endears him to me. however when I started watching jjk I’ll admit I Was charmed by him! And even now I can recognize tht there’s undeniably a lot to his character that makes him super interesting, I think that his loneliness and burden of being the strongest hidden under a carefree mask r things that make him rly compelling. i like that he’s insane i like that he’s strong to the point of being unreachably Alone, i LOVE that despite that he cares so much about the kids and tries to connect with and protect them at every opportunity. he’s a tragic tragic character and annoying or not, I eat that up

my beef is with fanon gojo ghjgshd seeing the way that the audience treats him soured him for me Bad. It’s so hard to see a character for the tragedy of their desire for connection when the entirety of their personality and the significance of all their fascinating story beats are entirely drowned out by mischaracterization and audience horniness. he overshadows everything he’s in because That Type of gojo fan sees him and gets tunnel vision regarding everything else—see the people who were threatening gege's life over killing him and Hard banking on a gojo comeback until the very end despite th narrative uproot it would cause. someone could make the most emotionally poignant piece of gojo-centric content and you’d still have probably a majority of his fans doing nothing but barking because that’s their 6’4 dom top or whatever. 

atp i’m used to seeing it but it still makes me angry that such a deep character with so much story significance is completely objectified by ppl who claim to be his fans. that’s not my business tho, engage with media however u want, just know that i Am judging you

so long story short i hate on him out of principle. i saw the way fandom treats him and i simply decided that yeah i dont like this i will not contribute. i will not show him any love beyond the art i make of him. but I wouldn’t dedicate so much time and effort to making art of a character if I truly hated them lmao i’m not that dedicated to the bit

[shepscapades]

*rotates dbhc!Xisuma and Doc in my head*

I'm sorry but I absolutely lose my mind over them ( I have literally no one who I could ramble about this to and I need to get it out). I want to analyse stuff, so let me just:

*breathes in*

It's visible that they are good friends and have been since the time when Doc deviated, research partners doing... research? Or whatever researchers do *shrugs*.

But there's one thing to it, X created Doc and most of other androids. He understands what is deviation because Doc explained it to him but his friend is still an android after all. We also know that X always calls Doc "Docm" but in previous comic he calls him "Doc" and it is stated that it's the first time he ever called him that. In which moment he calls him that? In the moment when he realises that Doc is more human than android now, I may be delusional about this all but I just feel like: the moment when he sees Etho overpower Doc, shove him and break him and stuff, Xisuma sees that Doc isn't a fearless machine but a someone, a human, he got overpowered by Etho and suffered consequences, he felt fear like a human not a machine. Also he lost his arm because he was trying to stop Etho from hurting X as we see in the second part of the comic, which only adds to that. So, this is the moment where X fully realises that he means something to Doc, not as a creator, but as a friend, and that's why for the rest of the comic he constantly makes sure if his partner is alright by talking to him, glancing at him. You know stuff. He grew closer and closer to Doc as time passed and I think this was the climax - the moment he called Docm77 "Doc".

While Doc is doing the most stoic stuff ever and trying not to self destruct and stuff, he cares about X too, very much even, he's protective towards him and shows it by jumping into danger he could have avoided [ Etho attacked X because he's an admin and probably knows where's Grian - Etho wants to hunt down this pesky bird for killing Bdubs] just so his partner won't get hurt how sweet <3 RIP arm you will be remembered...

Anyways I feel like they should talk about stuff and maybe cuddle and maybe I don't know LIVE?? NOT DIE??

Yeah, I think that I don't even need to explain for how long they've been spinning in my head.

Also wanted to thank you so much for so many kind words on my fanart !! I'm glad I can make someone happy with my cheap, old drawing tablet and some self taught skills lol sorry for flooding your ask-box again so so sorry but those comics make me go AWOOGA holy shift, and also DOC AND X CONTENT !! They are so underrated that you almost can't find anything good relating to them as a duo! [personally I think they're great, just two dudes that do things together and care for eachother <3]

So, yep. Prepare yourself for things like that after every new part comes out I WILL make memes and I WILL analyse block men.... sorry not sorry :)

[how to get me into an AU- tutorial: Xisumavoid must be in it- the end]

WE ARE ROTATING THEM. WE ARE WATCHING THEM ROTATE!!!!! you freaking GET me

(THERE ARE SOME INTERESTING THOUGHTS HAPPENING HERE!!!! None of which I’ll confirm but Eye Emoji :3 I love love love these theories they make me so happy ehehehehehe)

(ALSO YOU’RE SO WELCOME!!! That art made my day fr LMAO I love and appreciate it so much!!! <3)

[bleed-more]

My Updated Headcanons for Seth Wilson

Since a lot of my attention is on Seth right now, I'm writing some updated headcanons for him with things I've learned over the past 4 years! I'm starting with my HCs with evidence and will write my HCs without evidence later >:3c

HEADCANONS WITH EVIDENCE:

- Seth's dog name is Link (Joseph mentioned in a livestream that's Seth the actor's dog's name so in typical MH fashion I imagine dog actor Link also plays dog character Link)

- Seth is about as tall as Brian (this isn't even really a hc but I used to draw him short so I wanted to clear that up)

- Seth did all the TTA entries that include fried images and red motifs (based off of Night Mind's theory that Tim-themed entries are black and white, Brian-themed entries are stereoscopic, and Seth-themed entries are deep-fried/red. They used these colors to both communicate who's speaking AND to let the recipient know who the message is for.)

- Seth used to be Christian but fell out of it by Season 2 (I think Seth is responsible for all the Christian iconography in the first season i.e. stigmata, ark, deluge, etc. considering neither Brian nor Tim were part of TTA yet, and he slowly abandons that faith because.......)

- ...Seth thinks he is a messiah of some kind (from TTA's "Forecast" where he says "AMIAPROPHET." [TW DEAD ANIMALS & ANIMAL CRUELTY FR PLS READ WITH CAUTION] Forecast uses footage from the USSR's "Experiments in the Revival of Organisms: 1940" in which you see a disembodied dog's lung being inflated and deflated by a machine in an effort to keep a dismembered dog's head alive. I don't think it's a coincidence TTA used a dismembered dog to refer to Seth ((or what Seth has become)) and that Seth is both alive(-ish) and has saved others from death, but only in the same fucked up corrupted way you see in the USSR's footage. Which leads me to...)

[END TW]

- ...Seth is trapped somewhere between the line of life and death and is sticking around for the unfinished business of revenge killing Alex (in the TTA entries, while many things are convoluted and unclear, one thing that is very consistent is TTA's hatred of Alex. Seth is vengeful for the death of himself, the attempted and successful murders of his friends. From TTA's "Decay" where Seth is clearly addressing Alex, he says "HE[Jay] WILL LEAD ME[Seth] TO YOU[Alex], LEAD ME TO DEATH[because his job will be done then], LEAD ME TO THE ARK[salvation and an end to his and Alex's suffering])

- Seth is the one responsible for Brian, Tim, and Jay surviving during Alex's first murder attempt (Alex couldn't bring himself to *actually* kill his friends back in 2006, so he lured them to the park and used blunt force trauma to knock them unconscious hoping leaving them for dead out in the park would be enough. Seth, however, had already caught on that something was wrong after Sarah's disappearance (I am going to write a whole thing about this eventually hehehe) and so he knew to be at the park, and after Alex left them, Seth made sure they were safe (there is also info I have here about a lake but that's worth a whole other post, send an ask if you're curious <3)

- And finally, Seth had been well ahead of everyone else in figuring out what was going on (Seth was the camera and tech guy, so it would make sense he would be the first to see what's happening on these cameras, and investigating what might be causing all of this. Seth was the one who coined the term OPERATOR. He understood Alex's actions were being influenced by this creature Seth was seeing while editing Marble Hornets. And I also think Alex knew Seth was catching onto his murder attempts, and that's why Alex took no chances and shot Seth (the first instance of Alex using a gun in the series) instead of hitting him over the head with a pipe and leaving him for the Operator like the others.)

I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK AND IF YOU GUYS HAVE ANY OF YOUR OWN THEORIES THIS WAS REALLY FUN TO WRITE AND I CANT WAIT TO MAKE PART 2 <3

[t4tpumpkinduo]

ok let me say smthing rq ☝️ the reason i'm insane and often v focused on cpumpkins on this blog is bcs. well. first off, cschlatt is my favorite most special little princess and i adore spreading love/cute things with her to a fanbase that largely misunderstands and villanizes her. (as well that art of her is also significantly easier fr me to draw than others spoon wise sorry for thinking with my. heart. ♡)

and secondly, being around and int-ing with what i have many times called a word of mouth ass fanbase, a fanbase tht often doesn't int w the source material at all, that purposely ignores or discards or lets their biases make their opinions for them, it makes me want to shine a light even harder on a dynamic that i find v textually rich and compelling!! as a true obnoxious lorehead!! i don't often see very many cpumpkinheads, and i've seen even less that analyze and lay out the scenes, or go to bat for what their relationship is and represents. they're a great great duo and i'd be so happy for more ppl to pick up what i'm putting down and i can only hope i'm making a lil dent in this cruel cruel world :'] for smthing tht means v much to me.

that said, despite this being a deeply important dynamic i'm v passionate abt and smthing i v often focus on, i never want to be confused w smone who reduces characters to like... ship mush. who strips characters of their hopes and dreams and aspirations and wider connections in sm thin veiled attempt t idk. legitimize? is that what it is? and you know exactly what i'm talking abt so 👎 long ass analysis + talk abt their relationships to others under the cut bcs i got carried away

---

---

starting w my princess, cschlatt's connections to other characters is like....the stuff he has with cclingy is CRAZY!! they both admired him so much, they parallel him directly! when he first joined the server, he was taking selfies w them, indulging them and riffing with them, and i've seen ppl argue abt this but the actual reason he built the cuck shed in the dsmp was FOR cclingy, to make them laugh! he talked to them for hours after he was banned off the server in just earnest connection.

and while ofc he made mistakes w tubbo, those mistakes are not uniquely evil as they're ones characters (like cwilbur) KEPT MAKING both DURING the pogtopia-manburg war and then long after it ended. he sees tubbo as smone who was also slighted by cwilbur, and it's not a coincidence everyone is his cabinet was. he wanted to toughen him up so he wouldn't go through the same things he has! that want to make him stronger vs the self hate he feels for himself and how that leaks into the ints he has w smone he sees as similar vs the earnestly seeing him as a pal and feeling deep betrayal at the ctubbo feeding pog information. (cschlatt actually Knew ctubbo was sneaking off, that he was talking to ctommy, and he was fine w that + he actively let him!! 😭 it was only when he found out ctubbo was a traitor did he start crumbling.)

he pawned off hurting him to ctech, the same way cwilbur did to ctommy in the pit, two deeply psychotic dudes being used as playthings, with their backs against the wall, hurting their little guy in the process but not being able to bring themselves to do it so they get smone else in hopes that'll put a stop to it, only for the guy to values HIS OWN SELF above anyone else and do it anyways. and then they both kill themselves with guilt forever about it. cschlatt loses a LIFE during the festival, that's how much this was weighing on him, and then when he revives he's still so delusional he forgets what happened and calls for tubbo. like. ofc, that's not an awesome thing to have happened, but the rest of the factors are unignorable.

and tubbo to him...despite how ctubbo compartmentalizes those who hurt him, (grinning and bearing ctech n cphil for safety but throwing them under the bus to cwilbur for safety), the way he ints w schlatt is noticeably... different. he takes and agrees w his policies, keeps most of them as new lmanberg and admits they were good, he feels guilty about going against him, doesn't think he's all that bad and he gets punished for that! he goes as far to point out and realize cschlatt is being scapegoated for the situation in the first place, same as he was as president! (ofc to a different extent)

with ctommy, he would actively join calls w the kid and hang out DURING MANBURG!! 😭 ctommy would mildly snipe at him At Most and cschlatt would go ehhh you suck too buddy. and then they'd just chill together. he invited ctommy to manburg, for god's sake. ctommy is also one of the characters who continues to bring up cschlatt in a positive light, even up to his final streams saying things like cschlatt was his hero and it's CWILBUR'S FAULT that everything went to shit surrounding that.. they have sm in common, their relationships to others their posturing the way they joke around, the struggles with addiction and having their control and personhood ripped away URWGH

and with wilbur....like v v point blank one of the reasons they spiral so bad (aside frm being sabotaged by bigger forces than themselves + being deeply sick and mentally ill), was THE BETRAYAL OF EACHOTHER!!! look at the stuff i wrote for them above!!! they die on the same day, they directly fling shit at eachother constantly personally spitefully they Know eachother and it's all coming frm a place of hurt. he broke my heart how could he do this to me how could he use me as a prop how could he let me down my loverboy my pretty princess are you SERIOUS? glatt n ghostbur were hanging out together and glatt is seen reminiscing on him with fondness and nostalgia like can we get real. and they have textual sauce in smplive too don't start w me.

ponk being a quack doctor cat murderer but she tried as cschlatt's medic, she even shows remorce abt not being better for him,,,and he likes her right back, he's like extremely nice to her and even offers to make her a floor of emeralds for what he's done for him. THE GUY WHO USES EMRALDS TO MARK THINGS OF VALUE? cnikis letter to him, saying she wishes him well, that she hopes he's resting smwhere smhow....tch. TCH.

starting w cq...like i've gone over this before and iwill again. his relationship with cclingy helps define his entire shit he LOVES those kids he does RIDICULOUS things for them in mind.

the reason cq even joins is bcs of a tommy invite, his first appearance is actually a vc where he and tommy are chattering and stealing...they already know eachother, they're already fond of eachother! and alongside the good times, cq's there for every horrible thing tht ctommy is subjected to, he visits him in exile he's there on the grid when cdrm shows his ass abt what he's doing to him, why he's doing it, he finds out ctommy died the day it happened and goes numb and then CRAZY and when he sees him revived, he's practically crying with joy.

one of the reasons for butcher army even existed was the being able to help ctommy! he wants to kill cdrm and to do that he needs to kill ctech, an active threat and accomplice to cdrm! he failed ofc, but the intent was blatantly there. and later in the custody stream, when ctommy confronts him bcs of it, not knowing why the butcher army didn't just go get him when they couldn't, when the killing of figures putting him in danger was FOR that, he'd RATHER LET CTOMMY BELIEVE HE DIDN'T TRY AT ALL THAN WEAPONIZE EXILE FOR HIM. he wanted to kill cdrm outright for what he did to ctommy, he was a seconds away from it, and then when other forces push him into the torture, he's seen using a potato as a blunt weapon to drive his points home. like what do you think that means. he pulls himself frm ccharlie's death and disappearance and the first thing he does is go tell ctommy he'll protect him, that he can always come to lnv....killing myse. self. and ctommy cares abt cq too, he relies in him, he trusts him, he gave him one of the only slash hugs he's ever given he deduces that cq is a torturer by pure chance and still rocks w him and even like actively encourages it bro does NOT care abt his crimes 😭 that's his buddy i fear

and ctubbo... if anything that relationship parallels cschlatts to ctubbos, the being harsh on a kid so the same things that happened to you don't happen to him, so you can toughen him up b4 the world crushes him in it's teeth. and even when they argue, even when they don't see eye to eye, they care about eachother they matter to eachother,,,post doomsday, saying they wanted to move forward, stay working together the want to run a business together, q apologizing for his harsher actions and making it clear how he cares abt him.

and with the cookie outpost...ctubbo is the kind of person who can't confront ppl he's actually afraid of or angry at often, like the syndicate, and instead he has "safe" targets of ppl he can lash out at and redirect it at bcs he knows they won't hurt him back. AND CQ IS ONE OF THOSE PPL! IF NOT THE MOST CONSISTENT ONE!! he knows he can posture he knows he can go so far as to outright threaten cq and he won't ever lay a hand on him. the fact they can even talk it out so easily, the fact cq hated cdrm fr what he did to ctubbo too! saying so explicitly! getting furious when others threaten or put him in danger to the point of trying to physically beat their asses like brother

cbbh's decent into being egged like fucked up cq so badddd dude....the way cq didn't understand the full extent of being possessed since he was able to pull away frm it (barely and screaming the whole time but yget it.) the being brought to the egg in the first place by smone he cared so much, by smone he considered truly good and trustworthy,,,the fact the first person cbbh truly opened up abt the further reaches of the egg was cq...the fact cq went to bat against it over and over, putting himself in danger multiple times bcs thts all he could think of to get through to bad...them cooing and laughing and having fun together so so often and one of the few times cq indulges in femininity is wearing a cute pink little bride's outfit to go on a date w bad like 😭

sam is his FATHER dont argue w me they say it explicitly. he took care of him over and over, he looked out for him always the REASON cq is able to manipulate him as much as he can is bcs that's his DAD. ossium meant so much to him BCS he got him w csam and cgeorge. i won't go on abt this one too bad bcs scarduoisms like kill me dead w grief but trust that i understand trust trust.

his stuff with foolish i just talked abt so i wont retread but be aware he's always been his buddy and understood where he was coming from as smone who was once IN cq's shoes, and chose to be by his side in shitty moments idc if that was retconned. and i won't linger or touch on ctnt bcs like respectfully you've seen it already, ppl talk abt it all the time unignorably so. yes, a lot of it is straight up misrepresented or lies but DW thts not wht this post is ABT!!! ☝️

but what it IS about is. idk. the thing that makes the dsmp so special in the first place is...connections, it's hope it's love it's choosing eachother. how on days where everything was the bleakest and worst ppl still found a way to care, to show support, that in this terrible server that chews ppl up and spits them out with scars and wounds and sharp edges and terrible mistakes, ppl will STILL love them and want them in their life. bcs thts what it's like to live ♡

so yes. cpumpkins is v v v v v good, of course they are, i'll always be the cpumpkins guy but DO NOT GET IT TWISTED ☝️ they can love eachother while having their wider connections not only enrich themselves but the narrative they inhabit. the dsmp is abt love of every kind don't you forget it

---

*also let it be known i use cwilb as my example a lot cuz 1. he's the fanon darling that gets at least half his streams watched so everybody will know wht im talking + 2. if you can have empathy for his actions when they're worse than others you can have empathy for those 😭 thanks

[dafodils-on-the-moon]

!!!! So many questions bc I love this with all my heart <3 First, it's freaking hilarious that he became jester because he was "difficult to handle." LOVE that. Second, I gotta know, what does everyone else think about him? Arthur? Gwen? Morgana? Is Morgana doomed to die by the hands of a COURT JESTER?????

Ok so. Crucial part of this Au: Uther knows Merlin in Balinor’s son but does NOT know abt the magic. Merlin does not know about being Balinor’s son. Uther kept him cause he thinks it would be a good idea to have a dragonlord on hand that's loyal to Camelot, given what he's keeping under the castle.

Also I'm very aroace and don't wanna write romance for a while, so no romantic Murther.

Instead, Uther raises Merlin and Arthur as brothers. He deeply encourages the loyalty to one another as keeping Merlin loyal is essetail and Merlin is a very valuable asset that bears protecting. He emphasises to Arthur that as the eldest, Merlin is his responsibility and he should take care of him. Merlin is his younger brother.

Arthur takes to this role like a wildfire. Protective as SHIT over his new baby brother (Merlin is two years younger), esp. Since he was… not doing too hot when he first got to the castle. He was greiving and seemed *terrified* and didn’t speak at all for months. He was sickly too, for reasons no-one could pinpoint. Arthur had made it his mission to cheer Merlin up, as no one should be that sad. He and Merlin communicate at first via drawings.

He only seemed to improve after he started talking quietly to an imaginary freind he named “Kiggah.” It seemed to help cause merlin slowly started talking to Arthur and then in general and his health imrpved too.

Yeah… Merlin’s imaginary freind is Killgarrah lol.

Killgarrrah, or Kiggah as a now 5 year old Merlin could pernounce, is getting a major overhaul in this AU. His is going to be far far less of a bastard. Cause dragons are too cool for him to be the absolute worst.

In this AU Kiggah actually cares more THAT HIS ENTIRE RACE WAS ERADICATED than that he was trapped under the castle. Cause, fr, that is not the part id focus on. Also I gave him a family before, sorry man. Kiggah was also really really fond of dragonlings and hatchlings and was very excited to see the hatching of his first great-grandhatchling before the purge. Ow.

Anyway, Merlin is TERRIFIED of being in Camelot. He’s terrified he’s going to say something wrong and reveal his secret and die. He blames himslef for his mother’s death (cause he’s like 4 1/2 and thats normal for kids that age) and more specifically, his magic. So he supresses the shit out of it, which is why he’s so sickly.

Kiggah senses Merlin basically killing himslef and tries coaching Merlin into using his magic again. Adopts Merlin as his own hatchling. Kiggah doesn’t know Merlin’s dad is Balinor, but he DOES know he’s emrys, magic itself. As a result, Kiggah views Merlin as a fellow magical creature and raises him accordingly. He… doesn’t really get how human hatchlings are supposed to work.

Merlin starts acting weirdly dragonlike. His growling, he’s biting people, hee’s climbing everything, hoarding things and has a major fixation with fire. He is gettign “difficult to handle” as UTHER, assumes this is just how dragonlordlings are, (good gracious), but needs a way to coverup the fact he’s raising one.

Fooleswurth, nuerdodivergent in ye-old times, sees Merlin and his like “haha verily. Reminds me of when I was that age, I was just the same. He must have “The Jester’s Spark, haha.”’ Uther goes “yes and” and now fooleswurth has an apprentice and Uther has a way to explain why his ward is so weird.

Anyway, Kiggah is NOT excited about Merlin’s new older sister, but Merlin loves her. He is very excited for whenever Morgana’s magic manifests. She grows on Kiggah. (Esp. With all teh trouble she gives Uther). Morgana’s going to be fine.

She and Merlin get on like a house on fire. Gossipy bitches. Morgana sics Melrin and his “jester’s privolegde” on bothersome nobles to insult them into the ground.

Gwen becomes Morgana’s maidservent, and she Morgana and Merlin are great friends.

[richeeduvie]

I imagine it’s almost impossible for Lalo to get emotional during a movie, but the closest he gets is when there’s a little girl in a movie that’s crying and scared and alone. Alice in wonderland got to him just a little. Pan’s labyrinth DESTROYED this man inside.

Because every time he sees a little girl crying and scared he thinks of princesa when she called him on the night he killed her father. And he thinks of how many times princesa must have cried as a little girl, all alone and scared, before she grew up and Lalo found her. Before he even knew she existed. And it makes Lalo burn. He wants to dig up her father and kill him again 1000 different ways, but it still wouldn’t be enough.

This is Not for Tears - blurb

You catch Lalo almost crying at the movie you're watching. You don't know why. anon ily and ur thinking, everything comes back to Princesa lets be fr.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.

It's a harsh scene, but you're also thinking on how good of an actress that little girl is. She's crying, eyes squeezing shut and there's just something different, something more of a heartbreaking when a child cries - especially her, she's alone in the story now.

"Please, I'm sorry! Come back!"

You swallow, letting your head fall to Lalo's shoulder, arm locked with his.

You pride yourself, as stupid as it is, that you can really focus when it comes to film and TV, but the grip of Lalo's hand on his knee catches your eye.

But it's his eyes, the tensity that burns into the screen.

"Lalo?"

It's like he could break his jeans with the hold of his palm, the pulsing of his fingers.

"Are you okay?"

Lalo takes in a breath he doesn't let go. He doesn't share the air with you...almost like its wrong to breathe when he's angry like this.

"...This is a bad movie."

You blink, sitting back up. "What?"

He sniffs harshly, straightening out his body against the couch. "Why are they making this niñita cry like this?"

"Because...she - or the character...she's going through a lot. She just got lost in the la-"

"It's a bad movie, Princesa. Little girls shouldn't cry like that."

...You don't know what to do, you barely know what to think when it comes to what Lalo must be feeling. You sniffle.

"It is sad."

Lalo huffs before he shakes his head once.

"No kidding."

In the dark, it's almost impossible to see everything that makes up Lalo's face right now - but when the screen flashes bright, you see a...dewiness on the edge of his waterlines.

Like he's about to cry.

But that can't be it. Lalo doesn't cry. Not over movies, anyway - but you've never seen him cry before.

And you know him, you know you shouldn't mention it at all.

Lalo sniffs again.

"Lalo? Is it really that sad-"

"What kind of people think of a story where there's a niñita crying throughout half of it, huh? What kind of sick mind is that?"

You swallow again.

"I don't know, when I was little - I used to write things like that, before I realized I liked drawing better. But I know, it is a lot."

You sniffle again. Lalo turns to you, turns to stare into your eyes before getting up. You pause the movie to get up with him. He wipes his nose.

"It's just...it's not no story that should be real."

His body takes you to the kitchen, Lalo opens the fridge to take out two beers. Not for one for him and one for you, both to share one bottle.

"You want your slice of cake?"

From the other day when you were craving cake.

"Now?"

"...You want your slice."

Lalo takes it out to put it on the table. You sit down.

"You and me can watch some late night TV later. But Princesa, you..."

Lalo smiles, head tilting to the side and tilting low. He pinches your nose, holding it for five seconds or so.

"I what?"

There's nothing on his face before he smiles, off to grab a fork. He comes back to sit at your side, pulling his chair so close. The air between the both of you is little, but it tickles.

He takes a piece of the cake over on the fork, you know to open your mouth.

"Nothing."

And you believe him for the cake slice and the two beers, then the third. Then the fourth.

The fifth is where you can only bare focus to the hilarity of the TV, choking on giggles against Lalo's chest. The fifth is where he spills, even though you don't really know it.

"I did have a hard life when I was a boy. I didn't think nothing of it. Still don't." Lalo coughs and rubs your back, a soothing motion you curl into. He's got warm hands. "But little Princesa had a hard life too. Hard, hard life."

He says it into your hair, you feel the rumble of his chest, the coarseness of his goatee.

"You tell me things about you as a little girl, sweet girl...and you laugh on it. You don't think I think about it. Hm?"

He taps on your spine. You don't know if he wants to respond to whatever he's saying. But he's...calm. Sure of his words. They're low.

You blink into his chest, fingers curling over his shirt.

"I don't think you know that I would do what I did to your papa over and over again."

You don't know whatever he sees you don't know. You believe him. You smile warm when he kisses your hair and wraps his arms around you tighter.

"You don't know."

"Mhm."

You can't help but smile even wider when Lalo kisses you one more time under a pause in the dark.

[robo-milky]

“Hey, Carrots!

No need to look so offended, I’m not here to cause any trouble, you know~. No favors to ask of either. It’s your special day, isn’t it? It is! So I came by to give you a present.

…Yeah, okay, it’s not really much, but it’s a gift nonetheless. Coupon for a special pop for the birthday girl~. You have a favorite flavor or something? I’ll try making it into a pop for you. A dozen for free! I’m real kind, I know.

Oh, and before I forgot. You know Ashi, don’t you? Poor girl couldn’t make it today, so she asked me to hand you a gift bag in her stead. Proves my trustworthiness, doesn’t it? Heh.

No need to worry, I didn’t peek at it… Hold some higher standards for me, would you?”

Niko hands over the bag. It’s a cute, pink, petite bag with cat decorations on it. It holds some resemblance to the feline holding it herself.

Grabbing what’s inside, there’s a little drawing with a note attached. It’s written with words and symbols that seem impossible to verbalize, but somehow it’s easy to imagine a certain brunette bringing life to them…

Clochey! HBD fam!~ Super bummed I couldn’t make it, but I hope this prezzie has enough of my energy baked into it that it feels like I’m there! LMK ASAP ☆

I wanted to send you a cute lil’ message ‘cuz I’m real thankful for us being friends, YK? Even tho we aren’t super buddy buddy, I still totally enjoy your company. Eppy tells me enough about you that it basically feels like I’m hanging with you myself!

Anyway~ I wanted to gift smth more personalized for you, so I drew up a little drawing! It’s kinda like a postcard, but I tried putting one of your fave things on it ♡ I hope you enjoy!~

We should SO get talkin’ again soonsies! Wishin you a happy birthday and many more with a certain huntsman <3

Sincerely, Ashi ♪

Cloche hears a chuckle after she’s done reading the note.

“Wow, Carrots, your face is a little red… Wonder what Ashi stirred up for you to get you, the cold clawed kitty to get lookin’ like that. Well, privacy is privacy. Guess that’s my cue to leave.

Here’s hoping you catch a break from all the trouble around campus, hm? Enjoy your day~.”

HAPPY BDAY CHRIS!!!!!!! I HOPE YOUR DAY AND WEEK AND TBH MONTH IS SO BANGER. ITS SO DESERVED!!!!!!! 🫶 it’s been SO nice being your moot for like?? WHAT??? TWO YEARS OR SMTH??? TIME IS SO CRAZY. it’s been such a treat being able to interact n talk w you since the beginning!!! I GET SUPER HAPPY WHENEVER I SEE YOU IN MY NOTIFS <333 HBD again and I hope life treats you well!!!!! 🙏 blessing your pulls and turning them into pomepulls……….. tehepero

[Cloche’ Birthday Bash] *them referring to our dear freshmen

Okay first of all… ASHIIIIIII YOU’RE GONNA KILL ME I SWEAR !!! THE FACT THAT YOU SENT THIS SO EARLY??!?! THE INTERACTION IS EVERYTHING! I JUST LOVE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT SO NATURALLY- Fr, Niko just waltzing into Ramshackle then dipping- aND THE GORGEOUS GORGEOUS ROOKLOCHE ART- LITERALLY SCREAMING OVER THE POSE AND DETAILS- YOU SERIOUSLY OUT DID YOURSELF FOR THIS ONE! Rook carrying her and Cloche grabbing on to him to get closer- SAVANACLAW ROOK MY BELOVED- Muscle man frrrr- Ashi really caught on to the cat maid’s staring during Chapter 7 huh. AND THE DOODLES ON RHE SIDES ARE TOO CUTE- 😩

Epel yapping on about Cloche and totally not suspiciously asking Ashi about her roommate- Ashi internally sweating bullets when Epel doesn’t realize that everything he describes is the cat maid making up excuses to avoid him-

Also take this… Cloche walking up to Niko days later and asking for a bone marrow pop, and it takes Niko a few seconds to realize it was a joke 😭😭 Slow burn friendship trust-

Really, it’s so wild that it’s been 2 years- So glad to have you here and to celebrate with you again !! I think you really blessed my pome pulls with this one- seriously- man came on the 30th pull twice- Ilyyyyy If makes me super happy to see you in my notifs as well and may we continue to interact in the future!

[pastel-pollen]

HII IM BACK FR

and I bring a gift!! It's a small little writing exerpt of Simon :)

little note: I want to get back into drawing and stuff again, but I ended up burning myself out last time and running away to a new blog (which is here: @shy-sneezes )

but I miss drawing my babies...so I'm gonna ease back into it!

I'll be going at a more personal pace, which means I'll probably be slow to answer asks and might not get to them right away, because I wanna try creating more for myself ^^; thank you guys for your time and patience, here's some food for ya :D

Contents: nonhuman snz, mess warning, small word count (its a blurb)

Simon had been sneezing for a while now. He had honestly lost count after the first 20 minutes of on again, off again fits, and had since surrendered to the whims of his allergies. He knew he shouldn't have gone outside at this time of day. He had been on earth for a while, long enough to have learnt the hard way that if it was warm and sunny (which it was), there would be flowers, and if there were flowers (there were flowers alright) there would be pollen. Additionally, if there was wind (which there was, today at least)...well, it certainly wasn't a pleasant combination. Still, he was incredibly bored, and there was only so much he could occupy himself with in Pastel's strange house. He had reasoned a quick walk wouldn't hurt. "HHHIEETSHIEWW!" A loud, wet sneeze erupted out of the alien, and he coughed, groaning irritably. "Ugh...goddambit." He snuffled thickly. Clear, wet mess dripped freely from his nose onto the soft, sleeve-like appendages he was currently holding up to his face. Pastel had called them 'arms' and 'hands'...Simon wasn't so sure, but he wasn't about to argue with the self proclaimed "Earth Anatomy Expert." Whatever the case, they did absolutely nothing to help him ease the deep itching in his snout. Back on his home planet they were incredibly useful--quite literally designed to navigate the barren, rocky environment to search for food and communicate with other members of his species. The only purpose they seemed to serve now, however, was to irritate the already persistent itch in his sinuses even more. Still, Simon was desperate for relief, and had no other option at his disposal. The soft fur of his sleeves tickled the outer membrane as he rubbed at it furiously, his snout squelching with each movement. Almost instantly he could feel the tickle building up again, and his breath hitched against his will as he geared up for another sneeze, "hh...h-ah..." Simon's snout quivered and twitched, and the light pink colour that dusted the tip was now a prominent red flush across his nose and face, "H...hhHHeh-hehH-HEEHHTCHIIEW!!" A sneeze wrenched out of him, but before he could catch his breath several more quickly followed and he dissolved into a harsh, desperate fit. "eh-EHSHIEW! h-heh..aaHh-ahhTCHIEW! ASHIEW! Aah-nhg..hhuh...heuh...HUH-ETCHIUU!! *snff....snnrff-* h-hk-HKTSHhhIEW!!" Simon pitched forward with the force of every sneeze, catching most of the spray in his 'sleeves', although a fair bit still managed to drip on the floor. He huffed, catching his breath. He sniffled several times, a soupy sound that seemed to underline just how miserable he felt. The tickle seemed to have eased, but his nose was still flushed a bright pink, and he could feel it twitching stubbornly. It wouldn't take much to set it off again. He groaned, shoulders sagging. This stupid planet had way too many allergens. Before coming to earth he had never sneezed in his life. He wasn't even aware his body could do such a thing. Ever since he'd discovered the involuntary (and rather inconvenient) ability, Simon was half convinced everything on this planet was determined to make him sneeze. "Or kill me in the process." He muttered.

[elsa-fogen]

Anon that loves the fucked-up shit here, this fallout is just making everything all the better.

Alastor being offended is perfect lmao, you’re really capturing the man that most people don’t seem to characterize!

Poor Angel wishing it was Val haha, would he still be terrified, just relieved, or a mix?

Love that everyone is generally scared (save for Niffty, who’s just happy to be there!). Alastor does NOT care that they can’t sleep, can’t believe the residents don’t enjoy his broadcasts how dare they

That's right how can they NOT like his brodcast, this is real art!

ALASTOR IS JUST LIKE ME FR. Like i can relate to him in so many things it's getting scary LMAO, i've never could relate to fictional charcter more. Usually I just take traits from chracters i like for myself and with Alastor it's the first time when character has MY traits, it's really fun. LIKE, HE EVEN LIKES TO DRAW! What the fuck?? It's really the first time character i like likes to draw canonically and it's not the thing I give to them as headcanon. And when i was a kid i used to listen to the radio a lot and I wanted to work on the radio EHEHEHRHE

HA! FUN THING, NOW I'M WORKING ON TV FUSDGHYUGHUSIJDHSDKSIU AM I VOX?? I'm at work right now and there's so many ads for radio i insert in the TV broadcast GHSAHGHAGHDGHHAGSD i have this joke that i live in the universe where Alstor and Vox aren't fighting iudhsgdjhsdhgs

Angel... i don't know. I think at first he would be like "haha, suffer, fucker" BUT I DON'T THINK HE COULD ENJOY IT FOR EVEN 3 DAYS. And i'm not even sure if he could kill him if he was offered. After all, it's abuse stuff, and Angel at some point felt good with Valentino... and i don't know, it depends on how much these memories mean for him. I mean, i could go in depth and try to analyze this, but mehh i don't really want to. I just say, i parallel them with Hunter and Belos in The Owl House, except in toh it was family relationships

oh woops this got too long and pointless sorry

[coffee-as-a-love-language]

some assorted utaren headcanons, because today a friend of mine said he finds stuff like this annoying (and i’m procrastinating writing a paper rn) :)

renji enjoys being the little spoon when they cuddle

uta is the designated “spider killer” of their house, even though he never actually kills them. (he can excuse mass murder, but he draws the line at smushing spiders)

they learned how to bake for ichika and got surprisingly good at it

due to his genetic mutations, uta has a very high metabolic rate (in order to keep up with his high rc content). because of this, he is always hungry and suffers from migraines often

a u t i s m (this goes for both of them)

renji vocally stims by making small clicking sounds in the back of his throat (yes, the ones ravens make) when he’s comfortable around someone. uta absolutely loves it when he does this

uta has specific fabrics that he enjoys the texture of, and when making a mask when them, he steals a piece to run his fingers over (tactile stimming) (he’s just like me fr)

once a month, renji agreed (very reluctantly) to let uta choose his outfit and let him do his makeup for a date

lmk if y’all like these, bc i have so many more!

[shiveringgroovy]

coming off anon to feed you more headcanon asks

you answered an ask about social medias but heres for the real good stuff

fandom headcanons? who watches what, who reads, who is blissfully unaware of the community they're surrounded by, etc

jesus christ i'm going insane for this one. started this in april uhm hi chat i'm alive again (october)

ATSUSHI

doesn't participate in fandom spaces tbh

but he's into some old-school games

don't ask me why i think this but he's an emulator guy

DAZAI

HOMESTUCK. HE WAS IN THE HOMESTUCK FANDOM NO I DO NOT TAKE CRITIQUE

crazy into it too. keyboard warrior about it. ranpo was there

bless his heart

YOSANO

cult classic films !!

really into the craft, kill bill, maybe the scream franchise ? also perchance saw but not after the third movie

doesn't participate in online fandom spaces because she has better media literacy than everyone else

RANPO

homestuck and hetalia

need i say more

KYOUKA

saw because yosano got her into it. (her favorite is saw 3 because yuri)

and sanrio. ik it's a common headcanon but i think it fits !!!

loves a lot horror films/franchises but saw, the exorcist, and alien are her favs

also i think she likes cheesy shoujo romance anime!!!

HIGUCHI

you can't tell me she's not a himefujoshi on ao3 and tumblr

into tons of animes and shows

writes insane comments on ao3 too. many an author has questioned her sanity

has gotten into proship discourse before

she also like vocaloid, her favorite is megurine luka and has visceral reactions when you call teto a vocaloid

CHUUYA

be fr he would not give a shit about fandoms

dazai tried to get him into some of the stuff he liked as a teen but it never worked

he watched breaking bad though i guess

GIN

they loveee the scream franchise

has a ghostface mask they post pictures with from time to time

does not play at ALL about stu/billy

TACHIHARA

also into scream

really likes video games as well!! legend of zelda and the elder scrolls WHOA WHO SAID THAT

LOUISA

she's a fujoshi. draws yaoi on her plans

only really into fluffy stuff

tumblr girlie for SURE. hides her account like drugs even though it's just fluffy bl manga and art

NIKOLAI

he's a horror fiend and lurks online for content because duh

watches heavy gore/body horror films like it's instagram reels

i think he tries to keep his digital footprint clean for obvious reasons but if he sees a take so bad he'll tell op to die brutally

he's totally that guy to say "this is MILDDD" to the people he's watching american psycho with. he's an ass about his preferences sorry

SIGMA

they have better things to do ???

TERUKO

idk how to explain it but she's really into nana, tomie, uzumaki, and other darker/grittier manga/anime

and yuri/gl. she doesn't play about her toxic screwed up yuri

she seems like a whump fan. fucking up that dead dove with her hunting dog teeth

[solunstell]

Notes I've taken from the Beast light novel:

Right off the bat, Akutagawa's autism is showing lmao. He just like me fr

Akutagawa was already known as the "Silent Mad Dog" or "Heartless Dog" pre-mafia

Describing akutagawa's ability in combat: "as if he were mowing grass with a scythe." Atsushi was right, he is a lawn mower.

Akutagawa bit through an enemy's neck. Insert vampire comparison

I'd love to see an analysis of the parallels between chuuya and akutagawa. Both were in a group in the slums that relied on their ability, both were taken into the mafia by dazai, both have abilities that have an incredible destructive potential but can also make then near-invincible...

"Akutagawa glared at his foe - one of the men responsible for his friends' deaths - then smiled with evident satisfaction...and collapsed face forward." Insert comparison to his death

I think there can also be a comparison In this whole fight to avenge his dead friends to Oda's death. Both were orchestrated, both knew that they were probably going to die, and both were at peace after defeating the enemy.

DAZAI HAS BLACK HAIR?!?!

Okay adjusting mental image I always saw it as dark brown (yes the anime is brown canonical but in my heart I hold priority to the manga and novels. Same reason I draw the hat chain on chuuya and red eyes on dazai)

Dazai points out how akutagawa's foolish death would leave behind his little sister. This also reminds me of oda leaving dazai and ango behind.

Akutagawa is really out here saying stuff like ergo lmao

Akutagawa's skill evolved into the beast-like form when Dazai mentions his sister coming to harm

Dazai quote as he decides not to take in akutagawa: "I think I'll go with that other guy for my right-hand man." Does this mean that main timeline dazai saw akutagawa as his right hand man?

Things akutagawa is called or compared to in this novel: Silent Mad Dog, Heartless Dog, Cerberus, a slide (by the orphan kids), Former Disciplinarian and Current Ambassador of Paper Shredding

Naomi calls Junichiro "Jun"

Kunikida and Junichiro communicating through looks

Canon bitch face

Oda is described as unpredictable and he is late. Ty asagiri for more blorbo characterization crumbs

Akutagawa: king of purple prose

Atsushi is afraid to die

Even in the Mafia, atsushi is described as innocent looking, not sadistic, and respectful

Kyouka is extremely pale, and has a childish voice

Chuuya still wants to kill dazai, and won't let anyone else do it

Dazai is still cracking jokes!

The Port Mafia is more successful under dazai, and there are so many assassination attempts against dazai that he never even uses the windows in his office.

Akutagawa grew potatoes behind his home in the slums

I love that akutagawa's first choice when embarrassed is always denial. "No. No. No."

Akutagawa is a light sleeper and a morning person

"Oda, who was always late because some lady in the neighborhood stopped him for a chat..."

"...destruction was (Akutagawa's) go-to answer for everything."

Akutagawa. Ate. Paper (probably in the slums but it doesn't say so explicitly)

"Akutagawa is supposed to be filing paperwork right now, but he's nowhere to be found! He must have used his skill to remove the restraints around his wrists and ankles, then ran away..." kunikida, did you tie him up?!?!

Oda just kept collecting kids in beast! I love that

"It's your job to look after the kids, as the oldest one there." Oda also collected akutagawa

"It was Parent's day at one of the orphan's schools, so Akutagawa participated on behalf of the child's guardian." So normally, oda would go?

Another parent said he looks like a hitman. Boy do I have news about the kids actual guardian!

Akutagawa raised Sakura's hand cuz she's shy and was proud when she got the question right

Akutagawa hates guns

Akutagawa has been using lots of farming metaphors

Atsushi puts three sugars in his coffee, and akutagawa put four in his tea

Akutagawa saved up 300 chocolate bars, ate them for days on end, and collapsed of malnutrition

I really like the emphasis in this novel that they're really just kids who grew up too fast

"...but a vermillion line appeared on his throat..." ch88 flashbacks

Gin spends every waking moment with dazai. I want to know abt their relationship more. Does dazai treat her like he does the agency in the main universe? Or like chuuya, perhaps? How does gin see him? I wanna know more abt them in beast and the main timeline.

About akutagawa: "'I can't believe such a powerful skill user has gone undetected by our network for so long.'" That definitely has to be due to inside interference. Was it Dazai? Gin?

Apparently, Demon Snow wears a mask, and that isn't actually her face

Dazai is now using his windows.

Oda in this universe joined the agency in the place of dazai, solving solving azure messenger/apostle case. However, he doesn't see himself as a detective. Tanizaki told akutagawa a few pages ago that you become a detective the moment you believe it.

Oda gambles

Apparently the headmaster abused all of the kids, not just atsushi. He didn't even let them have clocks.

The scene between atsushi and the headmaster here is so phenomenal. The way asagiri portrays trauma is *chefs kiss*. A normal interaction from the outside, but with context and with atsushi as the narrator, it's completely different. It's very similiar to the headmaster death in the main timeline

Atsushi looks up to the headmaster in a similiar way akutagawa looks up to dazai. And in beast, he has both of them as negative influences in his head

"There was a researcher who came to the orphanage to secretly investigate the tiger, but it killed him. He had long hair the color of white mist and eyes as red as apples. Had his death gone public, the military police would've intervened and killed the dangerous tiger - me. / But the director covered up the accident. He threw the researcher's body into a river and burned his belongings. He then got the teachers together so they could coordinate their story: "No researcher ever came here." Then, after checking if I had any memory of what happened when I was a tiger, the director locked me in a basement cell. He continued handling the aftermath every time the tiger went berserk going forward. He locked me in the basement in seclusion so there wouldn't be any victims - so I wouldn't hurt anyone." Dead apple makes much more sense now.

The jazz playing in Lupin is a about "a heartbreaking farewell."

Oda sits one seat away from where dazai gestures.

Dazai excitedly informs Oda that he finally defused a bomb and had been waiting to tell oda. In the Dark Era novel, Dazai says he's jealous of oda cuz oda gets to do cool stuff at work. On that day, oda had defused a bomb, which he mentioned to dazai, prompting dazai to say he was jealous. My heart can't take this.

Next thing dazai informs him is that he's perfected his hard tofu recipe. Another throwback to dark era, where the hard tofu was going to be a suicide attempt, but ended up only cutting his cheek.

Oda about dazai: "He may have been an adult, but his boyish voice made him sound far younger. He smiled like a lost child who had finally found his house."

Dazai has crystal clear eyes when speaking with oda here. Reminds me of when he was fighting with chuuya against rimbaud in fifteen

Dazai looks like he about to cry when oda mentions they've just met

Dazai really seems to want to tell oda the truth about the world. But he can't.

Akutagawas skill can keep going after he loses consciousness

Akutagawa really likes going on revenge-suicide charges huh

"'You're not evil... you just don't know who you are yet.'" Common kunikida w

Akutagawa saying to atsushi "'My job at the detective agency does not include helping those with a death wish.'" Two things this illustrates: one, akutagawa doesn't hold vengeance above his morals anymore. Two, akutagawa isn't like atsushi in this way. Atsushi would help people escape their death wish, such as with kyouka and sigma.

Dazai says abt this fight between sskk, "That was just as good as match fight on the ship..." This is a reference to the main timeline

Dazai tells atsushi to go with kyouka to a "world of light."

The fact that dazai dies even though three people can know the truth abt the world makes me think he plans for them to tell someone else

"'From now on, allow me to handle any job that involves soothing children.'" Stark contrast to the beginning of the novel, where he threatens a child about a kidnapping

Akutagawa still helps kenji w the farm

"Whenever a document needed to be shredded, he gave it to Akutagawa, who would shout with a bit more cheer than usual, 'I will tear you to pieces!' before reducing the paper into fine scraps." And does he make a salad with it afterwards?

Elise is a beautiful woman of about twenty years old in Beast, which means she either was never a girl here or she was turned into a woman at some point. If the latter, I imagine it would be when mori is put in charge of the orphanage

Atsushi aimlessly wandered the country side after dazais death. I want an au where he finds kenjis village instead

Dazai saved moris life four years ago

This breaking the watch scene is just as good as the killing the headmaster scene

Mori, here, understands that using violence and fear to teach is wrong

Mori wishes he could have save dazai

In mainline, atsushi challenges akutagawa not to kill anyone and then they'll fight. In beast, akutagawa challenges atsushi to move forward

"'Until then, you can live here as my student - no, as my son.'" ILL CRY

I like the side theme of akutagawa being assigned as evil by not only the enemy, atsushi, but by gin as well. I think the way the ending wrapped it up was perfect, by having him decide to prove to *himself* that he is not evil.