#no bitch they changed their mind which they’re allowed to do without needing a council

[majoringinsarcasm]

Ok now under a read more but here’s major’s thoughts on bodies and shit

So I came across someone who is in the process of de–transitioning on Instagram, which made me wary at first because. You know. But it’s really refreshing to just see One Person instead of a static used against people. To hear one singular real person talk about their journey which people in the comments said was akin to a different kind of transition. And how media does not do them justice.

It takes a lot of courage to come out as trans. To figure out so much on your own and then be faced with such hatred and doubt and riddle. To find who you are in the fire and hope you come out alive on the other side.

It takes a lot of courage to say “I actually don’t like this change I’ve made” after however long of talking about it and being on hormones or even having regret with surgery. It’s framed as a reason to keep trans people locked down but that’s not fair. To be unhappy with your identity and to want to change despite how you might’ve felt before. To maybe have overshot where you wanted to be and needing to find a middle ground. To search for your identity in the rubble of what you thought you wanted and trying to find all the pieces.

Being trans is not evil. Detransitioning / transition remix is not evil. Whats evil is using people’s very vulnerable emotions and thoughtfulness of their OWN BODY as a weapon against a community while also MOTHER caring about “this important group that sheds light on the truth of transitioning” outside of using them as a platform to step on.

Had they not detransitioned they’d be back on the chopping block. If they weren’t vocal about their regret and were causal about it they’d be poster children for “getting un-needed surgery like it’s a game”

There are people who have detransitioned who are not kind to the trans community and that sucks. But there’s trans people who aren’t kind to other trans people either. It’s bad because those people are being used for a hateful agenda and people don’t actually care about their journey or lives outside of how it can be weaponized. And it must suck to want to talk about your regrets and changes and how you’re gonna move forward and your words always being used as a gotcha and not what it truly is which is your personal experience

Anyway it was really good for me to see. The media won’t show you allies when talking about those who detransitioned and we have to remember that it’s done like that on Purpose

[wistfulrat]

a 4-part rec list of my fave drarry fics - the thrillers, dramas, soft bois, and wankbanks getting me through 2020′s shitstorm

[the soft boi list is here and truly i’m not surprised this rec is going to be the longest bc if there’s one thing a bitch is going to do, it’s yearn.

as always! if you love a fic, follow the authors, leave kudos & comments, send them nice msgs bc free art is still labor xoxo]

part 3: soft bois

mood: for when I need respite, a balm to the all-consuming shittiness of life

includes: fluff, comfort, low-stakes, slow-burn fics. a wistful look, a rainy morning, an unexpected grace, a stupidly disarming joke. i could live inside these fics. the smallness of human lives removed from the site of that which hurts & irreparably changes. the story-equivalent of a deep breath after a long day. pregnant silences & pensive mundanity & shy smiles. banter with bite but without the cruelty. the color lavender. weirdly whimsical. soft fics are not necessarily conflict-averse (no drarry fic rly can be, considering the context) but, they offer the reader a generous distance from the initial harm. they’re the quiet cleaning up after a storm. sometimes healing is an exacting surgical knife and other times it’s a slow scabbing. you read these fics to be reassured that the way forward is not always ruthless. and honestly?? they deserve a semblance of peace godDAMmit.

The Way Down by @letteredlettered - 65k - T “and I thought that if someone talked to you as though you were a human being you might—maybe you could act like one” --the way i think about this line daily. the characterization of draco in this fic is one my favorites bc he’s earnest and neurotic and tired of harry’s shit. which is to say, he cares so so much. and harry doesn’t know what to do with that bc he’s got a monster in his chest and lives as a recluse. but they both humanize each other in ways no one else can. “you’re just a person” has to be some kind of drarry ethics of belonging and it makes me CRY. -

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them by @greaseonmymouth and dustmouth - 96k - T “Maybe it’s not about deserving it? Maybe you just get to have it anyway. . .I’m allowing myself to want something and to let myself have it and to fight for it.” --harry runs a daycare and also works at a library. draco spends a lot of time in said library. they bond over sci-fi books and therapy anecdotes and quiet philosophical conversations held over cafeteria soup. and harry’s struggling to understand his asexuality. draco’s learning how to live with anxiety and depression. they both want to be deserving of love. incredible fic with beautiful art by dustmouth. - 

Open for Repairs by @drarrytrash - 35k - T “A few leaves rustle in the gutter and the muggle world pays no mind to them, to two lost boys holding on for dear life.” --all of their fics feel exactly like this. like you’ve been allowed to look at something private, tender, unexpected. draco, known abba fan, is a repairman in the muggle world & harry can’t stop breaking thrifted things in order to see him? say less, i'm thERE. also “I think I have a crush on you” goddddd  - other faves by them: Counting Down By Ten - 2k - T: draco’s stepped outside of the party for a smoke. harry follows him bc of course he does. i could read this 100 times and not get tired of it. - Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon - 36k - E: FUCKING HILARIOUS I CACKLED THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. draco’s wolfy problem and harry helping him and harry being flustered by how much he likes draco and draco’s hot heroic moment. shutup it’s perfect. “He almost asks if Draco ever gets tired of being a miserable complaining shit all the time, but he knows that he, personally, never ever gets tired of being a miserable complaining shit.” and “It’s the traumas,” Harry says gravely” --lines that live rent free in my head -

Harry Potter and the Future He Doesn't Really Want, Thanks by seefin - 70k - E “That was the only logical thing to do here, wasn’t it? It was the next step, it was the end of hurting each other and the beginning of the exact opposite.” --harry lives with luna and neville and also he dreams about the future sometimes? and he keeps running into draco. draco thinks this is sus as hell, until he doesn’t. feat. taxi rides, museums, cinemas, rooftop conversations beneath a lunar eclipse, mid-sex innocuous banter, draco and harry discussing nicki minaj. this fic charmed my ass off. seefin writes the most effortlessly hilarious dialogues. i smiled at my phone like an idiot at least 7 times. -  other faves by them: Wild - 93k - E: “he liked feeling needed, for the things that he was needed for back at the house in Ireland. For cooking and gardening and driving. Easy things.” --this shit makes me cry it’s so good. harry lives in Ireland with these three brilliant, hilarious, wandless witches and draco’s a potions student who's come to study under one of the housemates and the boys have so much shit to work through but their love becomes so tender and honest. draco yells at harry a lot and harry lets him and they both keep each other grounded in something real and fuCK.  - Divination for Dickheads - 7k - G: “I’m terrible at having crushes. I’ve never played anything cool a day in my life.” -- oh harry, we knOW. a bus ride, a fortune teller, an aquarium birthday party. god i love this fic. -

Modern Love by @tackytigerfic​ - 61k - E “But we’ve worked so hard at this, haven’t we? Yeah, I know it’s a horror to have to talk about it, but fuck it. We’re friends now, but it took so long to get here. Have you ever had to work so hard at something before?" --the steady blossoming of their friendship in this fic is so goddamn beautiful i want to yell. it’s draco and harry learning to trust each other and the whole thing unfolds so slowly, in this whimsical mix of london streets, wizarding politics, church halls feat. a Hot vicar, and a magical antique shop owner who’s married to literal poseidon?? goD the environment of this fic. immaculate. [also there’s a tender shower scene that makes me cry every single fucking time so if you read this fic pls dm me so we can be embarrassing about it together tbh] -

Nice Things by aideomai - 22k - M “He kept waiting for the weird shock of touch to not knock him clean out of his head, leave him quiet and warm and happy.” --8th year. harry forms an unlikely friendship with draco that begins with smoking weed on a windowsill. harry is touch-starved and draco touches him like he touches all his close friends - like it’s easy. the quiet affection in this fic, the way harry burrows himself into touch bc he’s been without it for his entire life. reading this is like being held. -

Running On Air by @tinyhistory​ - 74k - T “do you remember when we were eleven?” --alexa play coldplay’s the scientist it’s sad girl hours and we’re about to fucking yearn. you’ve seen this fic rec on every drarry list under the sun and i'm here to be redundant. the hype is so goddamn real. this story is a lyrical masterpiece held together by lines that act as refrains that will rattle around your brain until you die, probably. draco’s been missing for 3yrs. harry goes to find him. it’s their odyssey of homecoming. -

Title of Their Sex Tape by @cibeewastaken - 12k - T “But Draco, Draco was everything but boring. Draco made sitting in the rain watching an empty house fun.” --auror partners pining and draco being eccentric and harry being very earnestly gay about draco’s eccentricities!! god this fic is so genuinely fun skskd feat. undercover missions, murderous faeries, a book heist, a stunning navy dress, harry’s eyelashes. -

How We Throw Our Shadows Down by @thistle-verse - 14k - T “Draco is about to say something else— to thank Potter for what he’d done, however poorly— but Harry is smiling at him again, and it’s so soft and perfect that Draco holds in any inadequate words, lest he spoil it.” --draco collects tea cozies and of course harry has the one he wants. the sad and tender gays are at it again feat. conversations in the rain at a train station, melancholy Blaise, muggle photos, wizarding e-bay, the Dursleys.  -

Helix by Saras_Girl - 92k - E “Draco sighs in his sleep and Harry clings on to consciousness, needing to hold on, to give this tiny, insignificant moment the attention it deserves” --I think maybe you can describe every soft Saras_Girl story as giving tiny, insignificant moments the attention they deserve. like, this is an 8th year fic about snails and it’s full of whimsy, grief, compassion, and easy humor. an absolute must-read author in this genre if you want languorous, episodic fics full of distinct OCs and affectionate creatures. - other faves by them: Light up the Night Sky - 98k - M “Draco, sometimes you make my head feel like soup” --the one where harry is a fireworks artist and has a pet chameleon named ken. draco is on the wizarding arts council. they both pine like hell. - Headlights in the Snow - 71k - M “they stare at each other in silence, Harry’s heart beating so loud in his chest that he thinks the biddies must be able to hear it over the sound of their card game.” --the one where draco drives the knight bus and carts around the biddy club, a group of rambunctious old ladies who knit and drink tea and gossip. harry can’t help but fall in love with the everything about this. -

Follow the Water by @xanthippe74 - 38k - T “Harry’s heavy thoughts lift at the sight, like dark clouds blown away from the sun by the wind. The tent doesn’t feel so cramped and stifling now. It feels cozy. And safe. It’s the same feeling that Harry gets when he’s at the Burrow for Sunday roasts, when a group of people who care for each other deeply are crammed into too-small a space.” --harry wanders to the lovegood house on a sunday afternoon. he’s baffled to see that luna’s taken pansy, greg, and draco under her wing. what follows is a summer of forest walks, scavenger hunts, gardening, water fights, odd cakes, faerie rings, and picnics. so many picnics. i love the pace of this fic, the innocent return to childhood things, the way luna brings out the best in all her friends. reluctantly soft slytherins are just *chefs kiss*!! -

Going Postal (A 125pg comic) by dustmouth - T what. a. beautiful. ass. comic. the wizarding fashion, the textures, the character design!! harry travels a lot for his job as a resourcer. draco works in the regulations dept. they pine like a bunch of lovesick idiots via field report notes. god i love dustmouth’s art. -

All the Earnest Young Men by @tepre​ - 29k - E “Draco is twenty-seven layers of personality wrapped up in drama and humour, and a wit so sharp it still stings when he doesn’t see it coming. But there is something below that, too. Something that makes Harry ache just looking at him.” --the way i would lay down my little life for tepre’s characterization of draco, whom invented the word earnest. he’s a magical art theory expert and portraits are disappearing all over London and harry’s the auror assigned to this case. and well. they’re both so very avoidant about how gay they are for each other and it’s like!! shutup and kiss!! which they do in fact, shutup and kiss.  -

Trenches by sara_holmes - 3k - M “Somewhere in the distant part of his mind that hasn't frozen solid, he thinks that maybe he and Draco are about to become more than auror partners, smoking buddies, wine-mates and co-inhabitants of a snow filled trench somewhere in western Scotland.” --the plot line here is literally “it’s cold and i need a fucking cigarette” but let me tell you how I never tire of the shared loaded-silences of two emotionally repressed gays. -

The Years Before Love by lomonaaeren - 13k - M “That’s one of the meanings of peace, he thinks, as Hermione hugs him...That he can do things slowly, softly, without worrying that they won’t be there tomorrow.” --andromeda taking harry under her wing and harry finding solace in teddy. narcissa and draco showing up and the tentative relationships that slowly develop in the quiet calm of andromeda’s house. found families and kisses in the snow and special xmas gifts ugh what’s not to love -

The Moon Looks Lovely Tonight by Omi_Ohmy - 35k - M “I want this to be a house where people are welcome, where they don’t have to be any one way or another” --in which harry collects lost things--owls, best friends, inept bakers, potions experimenters--and turns the mausoleum that is grimmauld place into a home. feat. your fave drarry tropes like shared-beds and reluctant waltzing partners. -

[part 1: thrillers | part 2: dramas | part 3: soft bois | part 4: wankbanks]

[masterweaverx]

So anyway I think that the heroes are going to snatch control of Atlas right out from under Salem and Ironwood’s noses. It’ll take a few episodes, but it’ll happen by V8′s end. Here’s the probably inaccurate spiffy:

Ironwood and Salem are busily playing army and being absolutely ignorant to their own and each other’s underlings thinking maybe they’re in the wrong. So while they think they are controlling the Battle For Atlas (TM), everybody else is going to be trying to save people. Emerald’s going to get to the lamp first(ish).

Emerald: JINN! I must ask you something! Jinn: For reasons related to metaknowledge I like you a lot kid, so I’ll warn you to word your question very carefully. Emerald: Well... shit, give me a minute. Jinn: Time’s frozen, I’m magic like that. Take as long as you need.

Exactly what Emerald asks is up in the air, but it’s probably either ‘what is Salem hiding’ or ‘how can Cinder be freed from Salem’ and either way Jinn will make it clear Emerald needs to get to Ruby, so Emerald shrugs cause she was totally going to jump ship from Salem anyway (woman is dancing murder, literally) and so she waltzes out to pick up Oscar and then they run into JYR.

Yang: You framed me! Emerald: Yeah but I’m good now. See? Saving kids, got the relic-- Ren: I HATH SEEN HER VIBES, AND SHE DOTH BE GOOD NOW. Yang: Wait but how do you know it’s not an illusion? Ren: YOUR VIBES DOTH PROCLAIM AFFECTION FOR THINE PARTNER, OF DEEP AND INTENSE KIND, YET YOU DOUBT YOUR VALUE TO HER-- Yang: Okay okay I believe you! Oscar: Hey I’m kinda bleeding to death can we escape already?

And as they rush out of the whale, there is DRAMA in the Schnee mansion. Ruby’s panicking over Penny, and because Penny came in hot she can’t touch her with her bare hands so she’s getting Weiss to summon up some remote gloves for Emergency Robot Surgery and totally ignoring that pain in her heart. Meanwhile Klein’s patching up Nora--

Nora’s Past: Excuse me, sir, I need to reveal myself now. You don’t mind do you? Klein: This girl is pretty badly hurt, so I do rather mind-- Nora’s Past: Not to worry, I won’t interfere in your healing and you can have a conversation that sets up a future plot point.

And Blake and May are talking about how they robbed people to save people and Blake’s kinda trying to hint maybe that the situation’s pretty bad up here without offending May who is really just this close to exploding.

May: If you can’t give me one good reason to stay I’m taking the jet down to Mantle! Whitley: Jacques has a work computer in his office, maybe you can reactivate Mantle’s heat from there? May: ...fuck it get me some cocoa.

And indeedily, it turns out that there are programs to reactivate the heating grid! And switches to flip the direction of the Mantle/Atlas chute system! And a bunch of other stuff that’ll help Mantle, and May’s getting into it when she hits THE JACKPOT. You know how Jacques got elected a councilman? And how he got some key codes for that? Well, being the brilliant genius that he is, he put those key codes on his home computer and nobody’s thought to erase them since his arrest. Which means May can spoof Atlas systems to think ONE council member is doing things!

[Interlude with Cinder going aircar shopping, surprisingly easy when the city stores are abandoned. She has a run-in with the Glass Unicorn, which does not survive. We get a close-up of her face, and she’s frustrated that this isn’t satisfying her.]

But only having one councilmember’s codes isn’t enough to do more than move some people around the subways to safer places--great and all, but won’t solve the problem. If they had more control of Atlas’s automated systems, they could maybe do something, but the only way to do that is get more councilmember control codes. Like a majority. That’s two codes, and there’s no way to--

Blake: Wait doesn’t Ironwood have two seats? May: Yeah but he’s not going to work with us. Blake: We’re already spoofing Jacques’ codes, we can spoof Ironwood’s. May: We’d have to get to the terminal in the military compound! Blake: ...or the one in Atlas Academy. I need to make a call.

Cut to team FNKI, not at all chillin’ in their dorm. They’re ticked for so many reasons, they’re antsy, Neon gets a call from Blake and listens for a bit before saying ‘hey everyone wanna go infiltrate the Headmaster’s office and save Atlas?’ And Flynt’s like ‘You know what, sure.’ And four teenagers with attitude Power Ranger their way through some very confused soldiers and then Ivori puts on his hacker glasses and says--

Ivori: Oh crap guys. Ironwood only put the Headmaster codes on this terminal. Not the military council codes. Neon: Paranoid bitch. Ivori: Also he knows we’re here now.

Meanwhile JYR and their new pals (who may or may not include Hazel and Neo, depending on how effective Oscar is at handing out redemption arcs) have a bit of a tiff over the whole ‘recruiting bad guys’ thing and Emerald’s like ‘Guys fine arrest me but I literally have all the knowledge you need and for plot reasons we need to go to the Schnee mansion now’ so Winter’s like ‘Oh shit! I hate plot in my house!’ and she checks the clock and yeah, there’s PLENTY of time to hop over before the bomb arrives and, hey, probably fugitives, so dad Ironwood can’t yell at her for this!

[Interlude with Fiona and Joanna, who start characterizing each other and mention Important Plot Details that will probably come into play in the next volume but the fandom’s all going to speculate about how it’ll come into play this volume because we’re like that.]

So back with Ruby, she’s managed to juryrig Penny back to life and there’s this big emotional moment and Ruby has a breakdown and Weiss is all ‘I’m not equipped to handle this shit but I’ll try anyway’ and Penny has a breakdown and Weiss is like ‘yeah okay, cuddles and comfort time, come here you crazy girls’ and THEN Whitley bursts through the door and shouts ‘GUYS GUYS TEAM FNKI’S ON TV AND THEY’RE SAYING SWEAR WORDS!’

Neon: I’ve come to make an announcement: James Ironwood is a bitch-ass motherfu-- Ironwood: Okay this teenage rebellion is stupid. Luckily it’ll be easy to take back control of Atlas Academy because I am always right and never miss anything. Random Intern: But Sir! Aren’t You Worried They Will Hack Atlas’s Systems? Ironwood: Allow me to exposit on how impossible that is and how they would need three council codes to make a majority that could let that happen. Camilla, in her office: YO BITCH! REMEMBER ME?!

That’s right, Camilla’s noticed this TV broadcast, put together the pieces, and as scared as she is of Ironwood she’s noticing that he’s not really doing so hot fighting Salem so, what the heck, she’s going to tell everyone that Ironwood killed Sleet and he’s a treasonous traitor and soldiers should totally turn to Robyn Hill. Because she just sent her own council codes to ALL FOUR OF THE HAPPY HUNTRESSES. Also she says this is a pre-recorded message and she probably got killed by her doorguards.

[Meanwhile, the Hound gets a smoothie. It’s plot-detail flavored.]

Ironwood rages, but it’s okay! He’s got Robyn’s scroll! So he’s got the codes, he’s still in control aaaaaand Fiona’s already changed the password. But you know this plan is totally going to fall apart without Robyn, who’s trapped in her cell, so he marches down there to kill her before she can become a problem and comes face to face with Cinder God Damn Fall.

Ironwood: Get out of the way, I need to kill that woman. Cinder, flipping him off: Fuck you, Atlas scum, I do what I want! Hardlight generator: Hey why are you reaching for me scary lady OH GOD THE PAIN I AM DEAD THE PRISONERS ARE FREE BLEGH-- Watts: Let’s get out of here while they’re fighting each other! Cinder: ...yeah, that, that was totally my plan, yeah.

So Cinder and Watts skedaddle and the soldiers are like ‘uh should we catch them’ and Ironwood’s all ‘WE MUST KILL ROBYN’ and Robyn has no idea why but she’s not going down easy and Qrow’s screaming how Ironwood’s just the worst and Jacques is cowering in a corner because everybody has guns. Realistically a whole bunch of soldiers are able to easily subdue Qrow and Robyn and Ironwood gets ready to kill them when suddenly--

Raven: Looks like I need to save your weak ass, bro. Robyn: Who’s the hottie? Qrow: A fucking bitch. Raven: Yeah, okay, but I brought Tai along so... Taiyang: Anybody want a brownie? No? Fine. Sic’ em Zwei.

Obviously the might of the War Corgi (and yeah, the Spring Maiden, sure) is enough to get Robyn and Qrow to safety, and they also snag Robyn’s scroll on the way out, and Robyn gets informed of basically everything in one long ‘thank god you’re back’ speech by May who is REALLY tired of wrangling all these teenagers and their drama, but she’s interrupted when the Ace Ops land at the Schnee mansion and bring in their drama and should they turn on Ironwood like Camilla says and Blake says some stuff about ‘did you promise the man he is or who he pretends to be’ and Penny also has lines and there’s so much yelling--

Watts: According to my notes, Penny’s at the Schnee mansion. Cinder: My orders are to deliver you to Salem. Watts: But Cinder, there’s a lot of plot at the Schnee mansion right now! I know you looove ploooooooot! Cinder: Are you trying to tempt me to do a dumb? Watts: What can I say, I’m mischievous. Cinder: ...okay, you can drive yourself right back to Salem--I mean it! Drive STRAIGHT BACK, don’t get yourself CAUGHT AGAIN, and you tell her that you ordered me out. Watts: You have my word! Watts tells Salem Cinder totally abandoned him of her own free will.

So Cinder Fall strides into the conflict and she’s all smug--right up until she sees EMERALD IS WITH RUBY and she just flips out like ‘what the shit! What the shit girl what are you doing?!’ And Emerald says ‘I’m doing this for you! Allow me to begin my melodramatic speech about--’ Cue the Hound smashing through the window with a horde of Grimm and suddenly everything is chaos nobody knows who’s on anybody’s side Penny’s being fought over by everyone and--

Penny, eyes red: THE VAULT--Aaaaargh! Ruby, watching her fly out: Oh yeah, she was hacked, right, forgot. Cinder: The Hound: The Ace Ops: JNOR: RWBY: TRQ: May: Robyn: Kids, go after her, we’ll clean up here.

Everyone RUNS OUT OF THE SCHNEE MANSION and it’s a race to get to the Vault using every method they can and Cinder’s melting the ground and getting into fights left and right and the Ace Ops are showing their true colors by getting random citizens out of the way and meanwhile the Happy Huntresses are coordinating everything in Atlas AND Mantle and it’s all chaos but it’s clear that Ironwood’s not in control and then--

in the vault--

there he is, holding Penny’s sword. And he’s picked her up and started literally banging her against the door because the vault won’t open--

Cinder: Yo, moron, you need to do it right. Cinder: *Whips out a frying pan and conks out Ruby* Cinder, sweetly: Penny, if you don’t open that door I’ll melt her booooones~!

Welp, there’s no way to solve that hostage situation, so Penny reluctantly opens the Vault of the Winter Maiden and it looks like, oh no, somebody bad is going to get the staff, when all of the sudden--

Nora: THIS is what I’m good for! Nora’s Past: Go get ‘em girl!

Nora just catapults herself into the vault, grabs the staff and--before anybody can react--gets it to land next to Mantle. And THEN the Ace Ops come in and say ‘yeah, uh, Ironwood, totally under arrest for being stupid’ and turn off the hackersword which lets Penny get Ruby away from Cinder. Cinder’s right ticked so she reaches for the staff with her Grimm hand but, in a fit of realization, Nora decides to use the staff to regenerate Cinder’s lost arm (which destroys the Grimm Arm entirely).

Cinder: Wait... what the fuck? Why’d you do THAT?! Nora: I have complicated in-character reasons but the truth is I’m setting up a plotline for you to doubt the path you’ve chosen so you’ll turn on Salem down the line. Cinder: Well now I’m feeling existential. I think I’ll go back to Salem and whine about this whole crazy day.

So anyway the volume ends with reinforcements arriving, Robyn the new leader of the Kingdom of Mantle, Ironwood locked up for being a moron, Salem just totally blindsided by the complete upset of the board, and Nora offering to regenerate Yang’s arm. Yang says no because she gave up her arm for something precious and her new arm was a gift plus it’s awesome plus her sister’s dating a robot so saying ‘I don’t like metal arms’ is kinda hypocritical.

....

And then in the stinger Cinder’s staring in a mirror and Pyrrha says ‘Hello again.’

[maybe-i-dreamt-u]

Soft sighs and simple smiles

  “I’m sorry. I really am.” She said.

Zuko couldn’t really believe what just happened. Had Mai actually fucking broken up with him? He vision was suddenly very cloudy and he didn’t know if it was because of his headache or the tears pooling in his eyes. He needed to get out of there. Quickly.

He had said something before he left the room. Something along the lines of “sorry I wasn’t enough.” Or “best of luck”, but he wasn’t really sure what. He’s sure he didn’t just storm off without a word, but right now he really couldn’t remember what it is that he said. It’s not like it mattered, anyway.

The next few hours were a bit of a blur. Zuko was feeling too sick and there were too many tears streaming down his face to properly pay attention to what he was doing. Running away, apparently. At around 3 in the morning the realisation kind of hit him. Fire Lord Zuko, yes, the one who had just had a wonderful meeting with his council not even 12 hours ago, was currently sitting in a train going to Ba Sing Sai, with a big black hood on so people wouldn’t recognize him (and also so they wouldn’t see his red face and puffy eyes). That Fire Lord Zuko had just been dumped and was now heading to his uncle in hope for some comfort and good tea. Though if he thought about it, good tea was comfort.

Zuko felt more dead than alive when he entered the Jasmine Dragon, and he wanted to sleep more than anything else in the world, but he knew he had to at least say hello to the person who had supported and loved him more than anyone else. So he quickly stopped by the kitchen to hug Uncle and thank him for allowing his nephew to come on such short notice, before heading upstairs to his room. As soon as the door was closed behind him, the salty tears returned and Zuko threw himself face down on the bed, wishing he could get a fucking break from life.

 -

 As soon as Iroh had called them, Sokka knew he had to get to Ba Sing Sai as soon as possible. He knew what getting broken up with felt like (thanks, Suki) and he also knew that what his best friend (who he was coincidentally very much in love with, you know, to make tings difficult) needed, was a distraction. Or, in other words, Zuko needed his friends to come over. So Katara and Aang took Appa and collected Sokka and Toph on their way to the Earth Kingdom. They made it to the city in no less than 5 hours.

Sokka hadn’t exactly expected Zuko to be ball of sunshine, but that didn’t prepare him for the sight inside the tea shop. In the far left corner, where light barely made it though the windows, Zuko was sitting alone, drinking a small cup of tea and writing something in a leather journal. He looked like he hadn’t slept since the breakup. His matted hair was slightly covering his face, which was lacking its usual angry expression. Zuko just looked empty. Sokka’s heart broke a little. He hadn’t seen Zuko like this since Azula was put in a mental hospital.

The others didn’t seem to take the sight much better either. Katara looked like she wanted to cry too and Aang had a horrible, pitiful look on his face. And Toph, well… Toph couldn’t see so she was safe for now.

The group approached Zuko slowly and quietly, trying not to startle him, as if he was some wild animal that would run off at the slightest sign of danger. Knowing Zuko and his relationship with emotions, he probably would run off.

As they got closer to his table, Zuko lifted his eyes. He looked more annoyed, than surprised to see them.

“I fucking knew he would tell you” he said in lieu of hello and dropped his gaze back to what he was writing.

“Well hello to you too, Sparky!” Toph punched Zuko’s arm and took a seat next to him. Katara, Aang and Sokka sat down on the other side.

“Hey there, Zuko! How are you?” said Aang cheerly and Zuko answered flatly with

“Fucking great, and you?” Apart from his right hand, he wasn’t moving, but Sokka could see how tense he was.

“Oh, you know, just… Visiting a beautiful city” Everyone fell silent after that. None of them really knew what to say to Zuko when he was like this. Sokka wished he could crack a joke for his best friend, but he suddenly felt at a loss for words. Seeing Zuko so incredibly sad made his heart hurt. He just wanted to hold him tight and never let anything bad happen to him ever again. But that was against the rules, and this wasn’t even about him in the first place, so Sokka shoved that thought away for the time being.

“Look Zuko, we’re just trying to help you.” Katara tried again. Zuko just huffed in response.

“I know you and Mai were very close,” Zuko physically flinched at the mention of his ex-girlfriend, “and I know that you feel rea-“ she continued, but Zuko interrupted with a quiet

“You don’t know shit, ok? Stop acting like you know what’s going on. I appreciate the sentiment, but you really. Really. Don’t have any expertise in this particular domain.” Zuko sounded like he was staring to tear up again. Katara looked hurt, but she thankfully held her mouth. Toph however didn’t.

“I get that you’re hurt n’ all, but you really don’t have to be a bitch. We’re here for you, Sparky, not because we missed Ba Sing Sai so much, so maybe try acting like you appreciate it, and loosen up a bit.” Zuko opened his mouth to say something but Toph was quicker. “And don’t even try to tell me “Oh but I didn’t ask you to come!!” because we both know that you needed us to come and take your mind off things. I mean which one of us looks like they haven’t slept for 48 hours? Exactly. You. Now shut up and get me a cup of jasmine tea, please” She ended with an innocent smile and, for some reason, Zuko actually got up and headed towards the kitchen. Or at least that’s what Sokka thought. In the last moment, instead of going straight ahead, Zuko turned left and vanished in the back room.

“What the fuck, Toph?” Sokka stood up before he could think twice and headed in the same direction. He was going to go upstairs towards Zuko’s room but then he noticed the Fire Lord sitting expressionless in the corner of an empty staff room, knees to his chest, looking out the window. He looked like a little child that had been separated from his mother. Sokka’s heart broke a little more.

“Hey” he announced himself, in case Zuko hadn’t spotted him. His friend didn’t move, but he didn’t tell Sokka to stay away either, so Sokka slowly approached him. He sat down next to him and waited in silence. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes. Sokka was looking for the right way to tell him that he’s not alone, he’s got his friends and his uncle and yeah, it sucks now, but it’ll get better, you just have to give it some time, and, the Universe knows what to do, and frankly, they didn’t even look that cute together, and it would all be ok. Instead he just said

“You look like you could use a hug.” After a few moments of silence Zuko turned to look at him and asked

“What?” in flattest tone possible, with an impossibly tired look on his face. Sokka just shrugged and went

“I don’t know, you just give me the vibes of a person in need of a hug” he said with a tiny, knowing smile.

Zuko hummed in approval and turned to face him fully. Sokka opened his arms and Zuko slowly leaned into them, carefully placing his forehead on his friend’s chest. Sokka hoped Zuko couldn’t feel his heart beating at 1000mph and concentrated on embracing him in the fiercest hug he could muster. Slowly but surely he felt Zuko relax against his strong body. After a couple of minutes he let out a soft, little, ragged sigh and Sokka thought he might die on the spot.

Though unfortunately after a while Sokka could barely feel his legs anymore and as much as he hated ruining the moment, he said in the softest voice possible

“Bro I’m sorry to interrupt but my legs are absolutely dead, so if we’re gonna keep cuddling you have to let me move a bit”.

“First of all we’re not cuddling, I’m just receiving a comforting hug from my best friend because I feel like I’m going to die alone, and second of all, no.” Sokka felt a smile forming on his face and tried his best not to let it show.

“Ok, well if you want to keep receiving a comforting hug from your best friend, you’re gonna have to move because my legs also feel like they’re going to die alone.” Zuko only huffed at that and then he lifted his head. They changed into a more comfortable position, Sokka leaning his back on the wall, and Zuko’s head under Sokka’s chin, Sokka’s arms around Zuko’s fragile looking body. After he was sure that Zuko had closed his eyes, he texted Aang “we won’t be back for a while, don’t come looking, I’ve got it under control”. He wasn’t sure he actually had it under control, but he couldn’t tell Aang that, could he now?

The two just sat there without speaking. The silence was only occasionally broken by Zuko sighing or sniffing quietly, but nothing more. After about half an hour, just as Sokka was about to fall asleep and have the greatest nap of his existence, Zuko said faintly

“It was so sudden. I never even saw it coming” He said it so quietly that Sokka almost missed it. He starting asking himself if he had only imagined it when Zuko continued. “I know her. I’ve known her for years. And she didn’t act any differently.” That was followed by a sniffle and then, “She just- Fell out of love? I guess? That’s what she said but I don’t even know if I should believe it because she looked so sad, like I was the one breaking up with her. What the fuck is up with that?” He was now fully crying again. Sokka didn’t know what to say. He had never been great at words. So he just squeezed Zuko a little harder. That seemed to work, because Zuko went on, “I know this is gonna sound really dramatic, but I honest to Agni felt like I was dying a slow painful death as she was speaking to me. That feeling died down a bit since then though” Sokka could hear a smile in his voice. Oh the world really isn’t fair, is it?

After that he fell silent again. So they spent the better part of an hour on the floor, Zuko mostly crying, Sokka’s heart breaking, but it seemed to work. A good quarter of an hour after Zuko’s last sigh, Sokka finally spoke again.

“I know that you’re hurting immensely, and that you’d rather just brood in your room right now, but I think maybe it’s time that we go back to the others. I’m sure Katara and Toph have learned their lessons and maybe Aang will even manage to cheer you up. Also, I came here to have tea, and it’s kind of hard to drink any in this position.” Zuko didn’t even seem to hear him, so Sokka nudged his head gently. All he got in response was a simple “not yet”, so he tried again.

“Dude, it’s been like 2 hours…” to which Zuko only mumbled something inaudible. Sokka decided to let it go, but then the Fire Lord stood up, dragging the former with him.

He didn’t look Sokka in the eye as he said “Thanks. I mean it.” And then left the room. Sokka followed shortly after and counted it all as a victory.

[wonderful-writer]

05 - Crash Landing

Summary: A pod crashes on Earth, sent from the Ark. Bellamy beats everyone to it and destroys the radio, a vital device needed to save 300 people from death. Finn is reunited with his girlfriend, Raven, and Octavia seems to have gone missing.

Word Count: 2.53k

Based Off: 01x05 “Twilight’s Last Gleaming”

A few hours after your bracelet fell off you were in your tent, changed into just your bra and underwear trying to get some sleep. Of course, that didn’t happen for a while, as when you were trying to sleep, the girls in Bellamy’s tent started to get loud. You cursed whoever decided to give you the tent next to his.

A loud boom pulled you out of your half-asleep state, and you slipped your singlet on and stumbled out of your tent, your boy shorts underwear covering everything you needed it to.

You also couldn’t care at the time, as your full attention was on the huge orange flare in the sky, hurtling towards the ground. Everyone murmured and speculated what it was until it was close enough for you to see it. You stood next to Octavia, who called for Bellamy. 

“It’s a pod,” You recognized.

“They sent help! Now we can kick some grounder ass!” One of the delinquents shouted. As a crowd gathered, you were in between Octavia and a very shirtless Bellamy. As Bellamy’s eyes were trained on the pod, Octavia looked you up and down.

“Nice outfit,” She commented. You looked yourself over and realized that you were quite revealed to the world and blushed.

“It’s whatever, I was too tired to notice.” You looked away as she giggled. Everyone dispersed once again and you went to put your pants and jacket back on before meeting with Octavia and heading to the war room. Bellamy was talking with one of the other men when you walked in, catching the tail end of their conversation.

“We should get moving, everyone’s ready,” Octavia informed her brother.

“Not while it’s dark. It’s not safe.” He scolded his sister. “We’ll head out at first light. Pass the word.” He told the men.

You and Octavia looked at each other in disbelief before turning back to Bellamy and allowing the two others to leave the tent to tell everyone to wait for tomorrow. He tried to leave as well, but you and Octavia blocked the entrance. 

“Everyone for 100 miles saw that thing come down,” She stated.

“Yeah, what if the grounders get to it first?” You backed her up. “Bellamy, we should go now. Before anyone else gets to it.”

“I said, we wait until sunrise.” He argued, then pushed between the two of you to leave the war tent. You both looked at one another, annoyed, before following his footsteps out of the tent. You and Octavia went your separate ways until you saw Clarke and Finn return to camp. Walking up to them, you asked if they saw the pod. 

“It’s from the Ark. Or at least, that’s what everyone else thinks.”

“Well, grab your stuff and let’s find out,” Clarke said, but you stopped her.

“Bellamy said we have to wait until sunrise - which is stupid.” She asked where you last saw him and told him you saw him go back to his tent. You and Finn followed her there. When you entered, one of the girls Bellamy had in his tent was getting dressed.

She grabbed her shirt from the bed and faced both of you with a scowl. “Ever hear of knocking, bitch?” She sneered at you.

Rolling your eyes, you signalled for her to be quiet until Finn came into the tent. “Oh great, it’s a free show. Anyone else wanna take a look?” She sneered again.

“Jesus,” You whispered under your breath before continuing. “I don’t have the time for this. Where’s Bellamy?”

“He took off a little while ago,” She answered.

“Gear’s gone,” Finn pointed out. You knew where he was. Groaning, you stomped out of the tent and into yours, Clarke and Finn following after you.

“Where are you going?” Clarke asked.

“I know where Bellamy is,” You responded, throwing together some makeshift weapons and gear to take with you. As you moved to leave the tent, you stopped in front of the pair. 

“Listen, Clarke. You and Finn are going to head up the search party tomorrow if I’m not back with Bellamy by then. Got it?” She nodded and the pair followed you out of the tent.

Clarke quickly grabbed your arm before you left. “He told everyone to stay here and then left. Whatever is in that pod, he wants it. Try to get there before he does.” She spoke quickly and you nodded, breaking out into a run as soon as you left the walls of camp.

You ran for hours through the thick woods, lungs burning and heart beating out of your chest. It was already daylight, and you just hoped you could get to the pod - or Bellamy - before something bad happened.

When you got to him, he was almost at the pod. You could vaguely see it in the distance, and you called out to him. “Bellamy!”

He turned and his face grew agitated as you stopped in front of him. “I already fought with Octavia, I don’t want to fight with you, too.”

“I know what you’re going to do, Bellamy. But you can’t. Don’t destroy the radio. We need to get in contact with Jaha and Abby Griffin. We need them down here before winter.” You pleaded.

He looked at you with sad eyes before speaking. “I can’t, Y/n. I can’t let them come down here. If they do, I’m… I’m dead.”

“Bellamy, what did you do?” You whispered.

“I shot him, Y/n. I shot Jaha.” He admitted. Your heart broke in two at the terrified look on his face before he continued. “I shot him so I could get on the ship. I needed to protect Octavia, you have to understand-” You cut him off by slowly making your way towards him and wrapping your arms around his middle.

“I understand, Bellamy. I know what it’s like to do anything to protect the people you love. But I think I can help you. Just don’t destroy the radio. I can help you out of it.” By then, his arms wrapped themselves around your shoulders as well. You both stood silent for a minute or two until Bellamy let go.

“You can’t,” He told you. “I’m sorry, but I have to.” He turned and ran, and you let him. You knew what he was going to do, and you didn’t stop him. You didn’t exactly know why, but the little voice in the back of your mind whispered the answer. 

‘You can’t live without him.’

You stood by the tree silently until Finn found you. “Y/n? What the hell are you doing out here?” He asked, jogging up to you.

“I-I think I got lost, I was running and I couldn’t see the pod or Bellamy and I didn’t want to move in case I got further into the woods.” You lied. He grabbed your hand and began to pull you away. 

“Come on, let’s go find Clarke.” You nodded and followed Finn, making your way to the pod.

Finn stopped in his tracks at the clearing, where you saw Clarke and another woman. You jogged in front of Finn to catch up to Clarke as the girl reunited with Finn. 

“Clarke, I’m sorry, I got lost and didn’t know where I was going I-” You retold your lie, but shut yourself up as she watched with a sad look as Finn kissed the girl.

He sat her down on a rock and went to you and Clarke for a bandage. He then introduced the two of you and Raven stood up. “Clarke? This was all because of your mom.”

“My mom?” Clarke asked.

“This was all her plan. We were trying to come down here together. If we waited-” She cut herself off. “Oh my God. We couldn’t wait because the council was voting whether to kill 300 people to save air.”

Your heart dropped at the words that left Raven’s mouth. Without the radio, there was no way to contact the Ark and tell them about Raven’s safe descent, and Bellamy just destroyed it. You let him destroy it. She pulled Clarke with her to the pod and you and Finn followed, even though you knew there was no radio there.

“The radio’s gone,” Raven told you and banged the side of the ship harshly.

“This is our fault,” Clarke assured her. “Someone got here before us. We have to find him.” You all made the trek through the woods to look for Bellamy, but it didn’t take too long. He was casually walking towards camp, no radio in sight.

“Taking a walk through the woods, princess?” He asked whether it was directed at you or Clarke, you didn’t know.

“They’re getting ready to kill 300 people up there to save oxygen.” Clarke scolded. “And I can guarantee you it won’t be council members. It’ll be working people. Your people.” For emphasis, she poked him on the shoulder. Finn came flying past you and you barely had time to register the guilty look on his face before he pushed him.

“Bellamy, where’s the radio?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Bellamy shoved back, and Raven intervened.

“Bellamy Blake?” She asked. “They’re looking everywhere for you.”

“Shut up.” He said quickly.

“Looking for him? Why?” Clarke asked.

“He shot Chancellor Jaha,” Raven responded. You all looked at him, you feigning shock, as Clarke put the pieces together.

“That’s why you took the wristbands. You needed everyone to think we’re dead.” She grew angry.

“And all that ‘whatever the hell we want’? You just cared about saving your own skin.” Finn looked at Bellamy in disgust and you crossed your arms, upset at the world. You finally knew why he did everything that he did, and you understood it. But it seemed like you were the only one. You bit your tongue to prevent from lashing out and revealing the fact that you aided in destroying the radio.

Bellamy looked at you and then walked away in the other direction, everyone following him. “Hey! Shooter! Where’s my radio?” Raven asked, catching up to him.

“Get out of my way.”

“Where is it?” Raven demanded.

“I should’ve killed you when I had the chance.” He sneered at her, voice even.

“Really? Well, I’m right here.” Bellamy grabbed her by the neck in response and shoved her up against the nearest tree, but Raven was quick and pulled out a knife, holding it to his face.

“Where’s my radio?” She asked again.

“Okay, this needs to stop.” You interjected. Bellamy looked at you and then released Raven from his hold as she pocketed the knife. He spoke as he walked away.

“Jaha deserved to die, we all know that.”

“Yeah, he’s not my favourite person either. But he isn’t dead.” Raven told the group. Bellamy turned around in shock.

“What?” He asked hesitantly.

“You’re a lousy shot,” Raven commented. You saw the look of pure fear in your friend’s eyes and started to walk up to him.

“Bellamy, don’t you see what this means?” You asked him. “You are not a murderer.” You put a comforting hand on his upper arm. “You’ve always done what you had to do to protect your sister. That’s who you are. And you can do it again, by protecting 300 of our people.” His sad eyes locked with yours, growing with emotion by the second.

“Where’s the radio, Bell?” He took a sharp breath at the use of the nickname but looked back to the ground.

“It’s too late,” He told you.

By the time the search party arrived, you were down by the river with Clarke, Finn, Raven, and Bellamy, searching for the radio. You and Bellamy were off to the side with Raven until Jones called out. 

“I found it!” He held the waterlogged radio in his hand and Raven went over to inspect it.

You and Bellamy went over to the shore where the others congregated to see how bad the damage was. “Can you fix it?” Clarke asked.

“Maybe, but it’ll take half a day to dry out the components to see what’s broken.” She sighed, picking chunks of seaweed out of the radio.

“Like I said, it’s too late,” Bellamy told her.

“Do you have any idea what you did? Do you even care?” Clarke asked, angry.

“You asked me to help. I helped.” He responded calmly.

“300 people are going to die today because of you!” Clarke yelled.

“Hold up!” Raven interrupted. “We don’t have to talk to the Ark. We just have to let them know we’re down here, right?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Finn answered. “But how do we do that with no radio?”

Raven smirked widely before proposing her idea. “Flares.”

Everyone made their way back to the pod to dismantle it. It took a while and a lot of heavy lifting, but you managed. Raven was directing what was needed and what wasn’t, even though a majority was salvageable and useful to the camp.

That was how the rest of everyone’s day was spent, but you and Bellamy were ordered to go back to camp to oversee the building of the rocket launcher. It was nightfall by the time everything was ready, and you stood anxiously next to Clarke as the purple flames lit up the sky. You felt Bellamy come to stand next to you and you glanced up at him.

“Do you think they can see it from up there?” Bellamy asked.

“I don’t know. I hope so.” You said.

“Can you wish on this kind of shooting star?” Clarke asked you both. Bellamy looked at her with a look that ranged between annoyance and sarcasm. You knew what she was talking about, though. Your mother told you everything about the stars that surrounded you when you were younger. “Forget it,” She sighed.

You felt Bellamy’s gaze on you as he said, “I wouldn’t even know what to wish for.” There was an air to his words, one that you couldn’t place. Was it hesitance? Adoration? Longing?

“What about you?” You looked up to meet his eyes, then up to the sky.

“My mom.” You whispered sadly. You missed your mother every day. And, as much as you hated him, you missed your father too. You just wish he was there for you when you needed him. You reached up to the locket that lay on your chest, twisting in. It was a gift from your grandmother for your 10th birthday. You never took it off, as it held a picture of your mother and father before they had you, and one on the day you were born.

Kane had looked so happy in those photos, you wonder what went wrong. Was it you? Were you the cause of the end of your parents’ relationship? These thoughts run rampant through your brain, as they always did when you were in solitary. You had assumed that it was your fault your life was shitty, that your father left you and your mother died.

This time, however, you put a stop to the thoughts and focused on the purple flares and the people around you. Your people.

Taglist: @soullessbabee | @hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis | @dummythiccwitch | @sireddobrev | @gxvrielle

[puttingfingerstokeys]

retirement fund

Nanowrimo day 18 Featuring Allister Corsiva and Mathias Carver (OCs) and a Nasty cameo Dark urban fantasy, vampires Original world with the lovely @dangerduchess Unfinished and unedited

“Darkstar CS-6, report.” The head of the council’s personal, human disposal squad stood before her subordinates, sharp eyes on each one, measuring them up and down and finding each wanting. But that was her way. They were used to it. No one flinched. 

“Ma’am,” came the response from their leader, a beanpole of a man with a baseball cap, a profusion of tattoos, and a look of unapologetic insolence which radiated outward from him without having said a thing beyond acknowledging he’d been called to attention. “All unauthorized siring has been eliminated, target and progeny. Ma’am.”

“Good enough, Carver. Take your squad and get some rest. I’d give you downtime if I could.” Her face was a mask, passive and unimpressed, but again, that was simply her way. Cull Squad Six was the best Darkstar had to offer, was given only the most difficult jobs, and had never lost a man. They saluted and, with a sharp about-face, relieved themselves of her presence. 

“We stayin’ on site?” One of the members asked the one called Carver. 

“Yeah,” he responded, a little sourly once they were out of earshot, “you heard ‘er. We’re on-call.”

“We’re always on-call,” complained another, tossing their hands in the air. Carver shooed everyone off. Only one member stayed nearby, a tall man with angular features, dark hair, and eyes bluer than the sky. 

“You gunna bitch too, Superstar?” It was not clear if this nickname was flattery or derogatory. That the man did not react to it suggested little. The corner of his mouth twitched minutely, but other than that, he remained impassive. 

“No reason to,” he said finally with the light trace of an accent, possibly English. “I’m married to m’job.” 

He had a mumbling way of speaking which might have been difficult to parse, were Carver less accustomed to dealing with it. He and his team had been hunting together for a few years now, however. They moved as a well-oiled machine, almost as if they were one cohesive being. Everyone was pivotal to this machine and communication was vital. When it had become clear this particular teammate had neither the intention nor, perhaps, the ability to change his speech patterns, the team simply adjusted. 

“Ah, the ol’ ball-and-chain argument,” Carver shot back, seeing if he could get a rise out of the man. He could not. 

“Y’know… sortuva… death do us part deal,” confirmed the man, rubbing the side of his prominent nose with his ring and middle finger. He looked as if he had not slept in days, but Carver thought nothing of it. That was just the way he looked. 

“And she doesn’t even put out,” lamented Carver dramatically. “C’mon, let’s get some chow.”

They walked side-by-side down the hall of the Darkstar headquarters, feeling the crushing weight of all that earth above them and pretending it did not bother them. The building was positioned deep underground, facilitating easy transport here and there for their patrons, a powerful group of vampires known as the Council. Working for vampires and hunting them had seemed like an impossible concept at first, but as time wore on, the need for it and the reasoning behind it became clear. 

Vampires, as it happened, had laws of their own. Those laws needed to be carried out and upheld by someone. In the case of the death of fellow vampires, one of those laws was that vampires were not permitted to harm their brethren. The law said nothing of the human kill teams that were sent in to break up illegal siring activities, more often than not ending the reign of a particularly bloodlust-filled upstart who decided they were too good for the rules. 

Bloodsuckers wanna pretend they’re playing nice, so they put a stake in my hand, Carver thought bitterly, heedless and uncaring of the presence of any telepaths in the area, that’s just fucking fine. He, like all the other Darkstar hunters, had a personal bone to pick with vampires, in general. That some of them were funding his very pronounced bloodlust and hatred for their kind mattered little to him, or to them. The situation was ideal. He was not allowed to kill without restriction, but the Council kept Darkstar well-supplied with missions. There was always some minor, despotic vampire who styled themselves a lord or baroness, feeding indiscriminately and siring with reckless abandon, flouting this law or that, in need of culling. 

Even the word “cull” came across as pretentious, as if it sought to disguise itself. Call it what it is, Carver thought to himself. Contract killings, right? On the other hand, something that was not alive could not be killed, could it? He thought about this a few moments as he and his companion moved down the hall toward the sounds and smells of the 24-hour cafeteria, generously provided by their employers and manned by vampires on the council’s shit-list, or so Carver thought.

“Mathias,” his companion grunted, touching his elbow and gesturing. “There’s Nasty’s squad… most of ‘em anyway.”

Carver—Mathias being his first name—craned his neck to see around his companion’s tall, narrow frame and hissed through his teeth. “Yeesh,” he added after a moment, “like they’ve been through a fuckin’ meat grinder, huh Al’?”

 The one called Al’, likely short for something, nodded but did not allow his eyes to linger. In fact, he was even now doing his best to steer Mathias away from the four hunters who evidently remained of the 4th Cull Squad. Their leader, a tall, lanky fellow with a 1980s aesthetic rivaled not even by the 80s themselves, sat at a table with his three fellows, saying nothing, making quick work of dinner, but clearly not enjoying it.

They were still spattered with gore, but no one said a thing to them about it. No one but Mathias—or he attempted. With preternatural speed, his partner—whose full name was Allister—snagged his arm and tugged him forcefully toward one corner of the room. Mathias protested.

“They’ve been through the shit, mate,” warned Allister, whose Down Under accent made itself known as he hiss-whispered at his friend. “Don’t push it.”

Mathias cursed vehemently and creatively under his breath, but did not defy the wisdom of his compatriot. Instead, they turned their attention to dinner. The menu was varied, high-quality, and always fresh.

“Darkstar,” Mathias crowed, “where every meal is your last.”

“…it isn’t death row, y’know,” Allister pointed out, examining an apple and then biting into it. He relished the flavor like a man who had not tasted such rich fair in his entire life.

“Not with that attitude,” Mathias shot back, choosing macaroni and cheese. Allister rolled his eyes at the fare on the man’s plate. It was a mystery how Mathias was still so slender, given what he ate. He really did treat every meal like it was going to be his last. In a way, he did have a point, but Allister chose not to dwell on that. The life of a contract-bound vampire hunter was a dangerous one; no one would have debated that, but at the very least, they had access to the latest in firearms, armor, weaponry of all shapes and sizes, and surprisingly comfortable accommodations. In fact, for being underground, the facility had the feeling of a high-rise superstructure, like a casino-hotel. It had definitely been designed for comfort in mind, and why not? These people, these human hunters, were doing the council a sizeable favor. The least they could do was make certain their employees were comfortable.

They found a table presently, Allister making certain it was as far away from CS4 as possible, so that Mathias could not bandy insults with their leader. He had a way about him, an abrasive sort of mannerism that pushed away all but the very dedicated and even then, sometimes it was a stretch. If Allister had not been dealing with him for this long—ten years had positively flown by—he might have taken off long ago due to the man’s “rough exterior”. Truth be told, Mathias had prickly insides, too.

On a few occasions, he had allowed those insides to slip out and Allister had been able to piece together the man’s story. It was the same as everyone else’s in this secret division of vampire-paid hunters, some tragedy or other had taken friends, family, lovers, had dashed hopes and dreams of the future to so many shards of glass that rattled around in the survivor’s heart, cutting them, leaving scars, and making them hard. In that way, they were all the same. 

“D’ya know where they sent Nasty’s crew?” Allister asked this knowing full well Mathias wanted to talk about it, if not with him, then with the aforementioned crew and that, he knew, could end in disaster. Mathias was an A-class hunter; it was as if he had been born to fight vampires. In a fight with another hunter, however, he was spaghetti, at best. 

“Someplace in Siberia, near his hometown,” responded Mathias. “That’s the rumor.”

“So that’s his… retirement fund, then?” 

The retirement fund was an affectionate way of naming the mission which led the Darkstar hunters back to the bloodsuckers who had destroyed their lives, the ultimate revenge mission. Not every hunter got the chance, as the cull squads were usually fairly efficient when a blatant killing occurred, but every once in a while, one of the greedy, bloodlust-driven bastards actually got away. If they ran that far and that fast for that long, chances were, they had to be bad news. Killing something like that earned a Darkstar hunter their freedom from service. This was not a job from which one simply walked away, so earning that privilege, either through quantity or difficulty, was the goal of anyone who had been in more than a few years. 

That being said, earning one’s “retirement fund” was made difficult by more than just the vampire’s age. It was also considered highly dangerous to go after one who had missed their target the first time; there was said to be a mark of blood on the survivor, drawing them inexorably toward the bloodsucker’s fangs. These sorts of sayings and old wives’ tales were little more than urban legends to guys like Mathias, until he met the man’s gaze across the room, the one Allister had called Nasty.

Their eyes locked and all at once, like a lightning strike, Mathias Carver understood. He swallowed hard and stood, pushing away from the table. Allister watched him go, not attempting to stop him, not needing to do so. He knew what was about to happen, like a strong gut feeling but with a vivid projection behind his eyes when he blinked. He watched, then, as the movie played out.

Carver stuck his hand out to the hunter named Nasty, who stood, grabbed it, and embraced the man. They held fast to each other for a time, then pulled back and exchanged a few quiet words. Allister went back to his meal and waited for his companion to return. When he did, he was different, somehow, softer. 

“Is ‘e taking it, then?” Allister’s question was a barely audible mumble. 

“The Gift? Ah… he didn’t say. I… dunno, man. Would you?” The Gift, as it had been named, was the official terminology for accepting the bite and change of a greater vampire, transforming a Darkstar hunter into one of them as the ultimate and final payment for their services. They could no longer hunt, but if eternity appealed to them, it was open for their perusal. 

“No,” said Allister, shaking his head. “Eternity’s no life.”

Not many hunters took what was offered.

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Vol. 5 The More the Merrier

This is a re-posting from October 9th, 2018 in an effort to get all my recaps fully on tumblr. Thanks!

Hello, moon.

Will we ever learn what happened to you? Not in this episode! That ominous shot (countered with the oddly soothing sound of crickets) is just to situate us before we pan down, revealing the gang making their way to the meeting with Lionheart. And honestly? I kind of love everything about this composition. Let’s tick things off:

We have Jaune and Ren mirroring each other with determined expressions and clenched fists. They’re ready to kick ass if need be.

Same with Ruby and Nora except they look like they’re out for a casual moonlit stroll—with the added bonus that Nora is manically thrilled about this adventure.

Yang is pretty blasé. Been there. Done that. Survived worse.

Weiss? The embodiment of “Ugh I could be home right now instead of walking around in this heat this had better not mess up my hair.”

Oscar looks way out of his depth and is hanging back from the rest, as we’d expect given that he’s a farm boy joining a group of elite fighters that have had years to bond without him. It’s Awkward New Kid Syndrome with a side of extreme danger.

And then there’s Qrow. Out in front. Suspicious looks all around. Iconic hunched shoulders. Really wants to put his hands in his pockets but the animation isn’t quite there yet. Behold, everyone. Our leader.

For real though, jokes aside I honest to god love this opening. It’s quick and from a practical standpoint sets up only that they’re heading somewhere as a group, but if you take the time to actually look you’ll see each of their personalities shining through. We might bitch about RWBY’s faults, but there’s a whole lot of love poured into this series and more often than not you can see it in the details.

Ruby pauses then to take in Haven tower—always one to appreciate beauty even when things are bleak—and then hangs back until Oscar has caught up. It’s a wonderful little moment between them because there’s no dialogue and ultimately none is needed. He doesn’t stop for reassurance, but he could. Ruby gives him that option and waits until Oscar passes her before continuing herself. The whole scene is heavy and poignant. There’s nothing but music until they arrive inside and Lionheart breaks the peace with, “Why hello. There… seems to be more of you than last time.”

Yeah. You can hear the fear in his voice. As if the rest of this setup didn’t already scream “TRAP, TRAP, TRAP,” He’s gotta be super suspicious in his greeting too. Leading them out here in the dead of night. Lionheart up on the podium—both figuratively putting himself above them and literally keeping himself out of harm’s way. Then the first thing out of his mouth is a worried comment on their numbers? Suspicious, suspicious.

Qrow: “Oh you know what they say. The more the merrier.”

He did the title thing! Love that.

Except the delivery makes it clear that Qrow is also suspicious as hell. No one has drawn their weapon yet, but the fight has already started. Qrow and Ozpin know that this is no simple meeting. Now Lionheart knows that they know. A quick shot reveals both his fear and the fact that he came with a weapon of his own:

Qrow tries to continue the charade by asking what’s up with the council and Lionheart is so bad at acting casual it’s actually painful to watch. He wants to know why they all brought THEIR weapons while hiding his own behind his back. As if they in any way failed to miss him standing there with it in full view for the last thirty seconds.

I can’t with this guy. He's just so bad at being bad I almost feel sorry for him.

(Although, as we in the U.S. have certainly discovered the last two years, the incompetent ones are often the most dangerous…)

As said, the fight has already begun. While Qrow and Lionheart trade subtext Yang checks out their perimeter, immediately picking up on the raven that just happens to be chilling on the banister. A simple, whispered “Mom?” and Qrow has his weapon out and a shot off, barely missing Raven as she swoops down beside Lionheart.

Can we appreciate that reaction time for a second? I feel like between Ozpin’s Super Secret Magic and Qrow’s self-deprecating drinking the fandom tends to forget that he’s easily one of the most powerful fighters we’ve seen to date. He demonstrated that in his playful spar against Winter, keeping Tyrian on his toes while also ensuring that the kids were safe, and here as he responds blindingly fast to a one syllable word. A few seconds later Raven calls him out for missing or, just as likely, deliberately missing since he doesn't want to kill her—yet. Which makes it all the more impressive that he can aim and achieve the results he wants in such a short amount of time. You 100% do not want to fuck with Qrow.

A nice cut using Lionheart’s back and Raven becomes human once more. In the realm of ‘artists paying careful attention to how their background characters act,’ Oscar is uncomfortable but isn’t even looking at the threat—almost like he’s listening carefully to something the rest of them can’t hear—while Nora looks downright floored. “They really are magic,” she says to herself, solidifying with evidence what they'd been told a few episodes back.  

Okay. Rant time. I still don’t buy these reactions. Really not great on the world building front here. I mean, we’ve had Pyrrha who controls magnetism, Ren who manipulates emotions, Yang has a Hulk mode that includes changing eye color, Blake can create clones of herself, Weiss is basically a necromancer, Ruby turns into rose petals, give him an episode and Jaune will straight up heal a girl, and Nora herself can store/release electricity. Why is turning into a bird so incredibly shocking? It would feel way more natural if they saw Raven and Qrow’s transformations and went, “Okay… so that’s their semblance?” and then Oz has to explain about the difference—being born with an ability vs. being granted it—which is cool and there’s surprise that that’s a Thing, but their reaction to the ability itself is still pretty meh. Because they’ve literally seen weirder.

We’re given no indication as to WHY a bird transformation instinctually reads as more impossible than transforming into rose petals, other than “one is magic and one is not because we say so.” There’s no justification behind the characters’ ability to recognize magic when they see it, especially given the incredibly wide range of abilities RWBY has shown us over the years. Either attach more overt rules to semblances (obvious boundaries where the viewer understands what is and is not possible) or make Ozpin’s magic look radically different. In this world summoning storms and turning into birds doesn't read as radically different. Hell, in many ways Dust, an incredibly common commodity, is more powerful than this supposedly gasp-worthy magic. Why be impressed with Raven summoning rain clouds when Weiss can create powerful winds in her fight against Flynt with just a bit of Daddy’s money?

But anyway. I digress.  

The verbal sparring continues. Oscar still isn’t making eye contact. Raven spouts more of her excuses, Salem can’t possibly be stopped, we're all out for ourselves, blah blah blah. Ruby emphasizes that they’ve already done the impossible, but they only achieved that because they were working together. Separation and a pessimistic attitude is exactly what Salem wants. Ruby wants Raven to join them.

And take a gander at that contrast between sisters. As I’ve said before, Ruby is the classic full-of-heart protagonist who believes that almost everyone can be redeemed. As we’ll see in a second, the exemption to this appears to be Cinder. Her murder of Penny and Pyrrha highlights her irredeemability in a way that overshadows Raven’s—and even Salem’s—more nebulous crimes. The bigger your actions are the harder they are to conceptualize. The smaller and more personal they are the harder they are to forgive. Paradoxically, it’s easier for someone like Ruby (and the fandom…) to shrug off Raven’s actions because as of yet she hasn't felt their repercussions as intimately.

Yang though? She has. And in this moment she’s not ready to forgive.

Raven refuses of course and tells Ruby she sounds just like her mother. (Give us flashbacks of Summer!) She summons a portal where a fireball flies through, hitting Ruby square in the chest and allowing the whole evil gang to join the party. We get a closeup on Oscar as he and Oz recognize Hazel, locking them inside while the White Fang sets up their bombs.

Hazel: “No one’s getting in… and no one’s getting out.”

Because RWBY, for all its dark storylines, is still hella cheesy at times lol.

Weiss: “So this was all just a trap?”

Ren: “It appears so…”

Ah, naive little children. If only you were watching from our fourth wall perspective you would have realized it was a trap more than an episode ago! Too bad.

We learn that Lionheart was the one who secured Team Bad a place in the Vytal festival. Not only that, but he’s been passing information about huntsmen and huntress whereabouts to Salem. That’s how they were all murdered and Qrow’s realization of this—after spending all that time looking for them and hoping against hope—is definitely a kicker. “I couldn’t find any of them… because you let her kill them.”

Keep in mind, most of those people were Qrow’s friends.

Jaune, as we’d expect, is at his breaking point. Pyrrha’s murderer is standing right there and, as he says, rubbing their faces in how many people she’s killed—“All with that damn smile on your face!” We’ve had all of two instances of RWBY cursing and it’s definitely needed here. I appreciate that his tears and his anger are basically a call to arms. Most everyone draws their weapon as soon as he's finished speaking. Qrow’s still trying to keep the peace, but Jaune’s very existence is a walking testament to exactly how much these people deserve to be brought to justice.

He yells that he’s going to make Cinder pay for what she did and then comes the most brutal line in all of RWBY.

Cinder: “Who are you again?”

Damn. They’re never gonna top that.

Perfect characterization though. As the audience it’s easy to forget who knows who in a big ensemble cast and, more importantly, who cares about who. From Cinder’s perspective Jaune is a nobody she's barely met. Why would she remember him? If she’d instead made a taunt about his dead girlfriend most of us probably would have just shrugged off the plot-hole, but paying attention to details like this is not only, a) satisfying but b) wonderfully vicious. Way to twist the knife here.

Jaune attacks as we knew he would but Cinder easily blocks him. Ruby joins the fray only to be stopped by Emerald—“You’re not getting near her.” (Love the devotion.) Yang pairs off with Mercury to settle an old score. Raven orders Vernal to take out “the heiress” (rude, she has a name) and in another excellent nod to the switcheroo that tricked both the team and a large chunk of the fandom, she casually throws out that Vernal doesn’t need to use her power to kill a kid.

Good excuse too. Considering, you know, she doesn’t have any.

No more fake outs. Qrow attacks Raven head on with the announcement that they’re not family anymore. Harsh, but deserved. Raven’s “Were we ever?” smells more like denial. We also get a good look at their similar, but differently balanced color schemes.

As their fight takes them out of frame we stay with a rather terrified Weiss. To her credit though she holds her ground against Vernal, assuring her that she’s “more than a name.”

Finally, Ren and Nora—ever the perfect duo—are left to fend off Hazel. He’s one of those real asshole villains who has a “code” that they follow. He doesn’t want to fight two kids half his age and power level… but he has to. Just like he has to keep pursuing his misguided revenge against Ozpin. And he, like Raven, feels the need to announce to the world that this isn’t what he’d prefer. It’s just how things are! Totally out of his hands, I’m sorry to say.

We’re seeing a trend with the villains and their justifications, yeah?

With everyone paired off Ozpin-Oscar (I need a portmanteau for them…) sneaks over to confront Lionheart. Lionheart goes from telling this supposed stranger to get himself out of the fight while he can to attacking him with a rock-lava-energy blast thing in like five seconds flat. Of course, our two favorite BAMFs block it with ease and we get the RWBY equivalent of,

(x)

Holy shit this kid blocked my hit??

Beautiful.

The second the cane comes out though everything makes sense and we get another stellar line of “Not quite” when Lionheart identifies him as Ozpin. I really love that they let Oscar handle the first half of this battle. Yeah, it’s a little flimsy that he’s able to take on an adult after just a few weeks of training, but we also don’t know how much he and Oz are already sharing. Fighting might come naturally to him now in a muscle memory sort of way. Regardless, he kicks ass and I’m loving it.

“You found Qrow,” Lionheart says. “How?” implying that he might have been doing even more work than we saw to keep those two apart. A voiceover from Ozpin wonders what happened to his former ally. The fact that Lionheart knows all the details of Ozpin’s reincarnation tells us that yeah, they were really, really close.

That knowledge is dangerous too. Realizing that Ozpin “couldn’t have had that form for long” Lionheart gets over the debilitating shock of fighting, you know, Ozpin. We hear him rationalizing in the wonderfully creepy manner of the desperate that this is just a boy in front of him, a boy soon to be Ozpin, and if he delivers the kid to Salem he’ll “finally be free" of her. Sounds a lot like Raven thinking that the relic will protect her; a lot like a hurt Tyrian muttering that she’ll forgive him.

RWBY does a good job of reminding us in small ways how utterly terrifying Salem is...and what that fear drives people to do.  

This would be the (supposedly) perfect moment for Ozpin to take over. Oh no! Lionheart is all serious now! Oscar is worried! But the only thing Ozpin does is tell him to “fight.” I’ve heard a lot of people in the fandom claim that Ozpin is a monster for his possession, culpable for something that’s outside of his control. But Ozpin has no desire to take over people’s lives like this and—unlike Hazel or Raven—it really is out of his hands, to say nothing of the fact that he does all he can to actually achieve what he thinks is right. He can’t keep himself from merging with Oscar, but he can give Oscar as much agency as humanly possible, including here. The only times we see Ozpin take that agency away is when it really is for the greater good (they can’t afford to hide on a farm forever) or when Oscar is well and truly in over his head, like after the fight with Hazel goes on too long. Taking over Oscar at that point is to save his life, akin to forcing someone out of the way of a blast.

But we’ll get to that.

We come back to the fight between Weiss and Vernal as Weiss tries to buy herself enough time to summon her knight. Vernal easily cuts through her summoning though… which is kind of a relief? In that RWBY (usually) knows when to limit new powers. If Weiss had no real limitations on her summoning—the time it takes, the energy it requires—we’d be wondering why she didn’t just summon a whole, super-powered army every time they were in a spot of trouble. Too many shows (Supernatural...) craft crazy powerful characters and then conveniently forget about that power when it would too easily solve a conflict.

Also, check out that smile from Vernal.

We segue to Cinder and Jaune. Kudos to Jaune for holding his own one-on-one! He really is Pyrrha’s student. Remember what other kid managed to hold her own against a freaking Maiden, at least for a time? 

Emerald won’t let Ruby get anywhere near Cinder. She “owes her everything" after all. But she’s willing to indulge her (so to speak) and summons up a mirage of Cinder to fly at Ruby. That and the resulting attack startles her enough that she sets off Crescent Rose, the bullet narrowly missing Weiss.

…Portent of things to come.

Because we’re back on Weiss and it's becoming clear to the viewer why we’ve been focusing so much on her in this battle. A shock from Vernal’s weapon rips out a scream from her, draws Jaune’s attention, and Cinder cruelly asks if he’ll “let her die too.”

Gotta have the fake-out first though. Deciding to take him seriously, Cinder charges with intent to kill and the head-on strike triggers Ruby into remembering Pyrrha’s death. Her silver eyes instinctually go off, blinding everyone and halting the battle.

Emerald knocks her out fast but even those few seconds was enough to effect Cinder. Apparently once you’re struck by that kind of power your body remembers it. She’s down on her knees, clearly in pain, and Jaune takes the opportunity to get a strike in, managing to clip the half-mask she wears.

And yeah. Cinder’s pissed.

Partly from getting caught in one of Ruby’s blasts again. Partly because a “nobody” like Jaune managed to hit her. Awful when that power you sought isn’t as perfect as you were promised, huh? Jaune makes the mistake though of declaring that he’s not important, only his friends are… and Cinder knows exactly how to make one of the good guys suffer.

Why just kill him when you can instead kill the girl he was worried about moments before? Why grant him peace when you can vividly recreate the trauma of Pyrrha’s death instead?

We have just enough time left in the episode to see the team’s shocked faces, watch Cinder’s weapon disappear, and then we cut with Weiss in mid-fall.

It’s a brutal combo of content and editing. Thanks, Rooster Teeth! I hate it!

We all know how things turn out though… so that's some kind of comfort. Until next time!

Other Details of Note

When everyone enters Haven tower we see this statue… and honestly I’m not entirely sure what to make of it. Something something it’s a maiden guarding a Maiden relic. Something something broken chains and freedom. Something something Atlas-esque imagery of holding up a world…you get the idea. It’s symbolic.

Cinder calls Qrow “little bird” and Lionheart “lion.” Always something wonderfully creepy about villains with a penchant for nicknames.

When Jaune first charges Cinder we pull back behind the chain on the statue and see it sway from the force of his attack. It’s quick and subtle, but an excellent visual detail to show us how strong he’s gotten. Pre-Fall of Beacon Jaune never would have managed that kind of force.

For all its faults in places, I enjoy how much this fight makes use of space, especially when it comes to Weiss using her glyphs. It’s not perfect or as complex as what we might have had with Monty, but I think the team is improving in their choreography overall.

Yes, Jaune is well over his schoolboy crush on Weiss---something I'm pleased about---but it still hits hard to have her as the victim here. Out of every team member Cinder could have targeted she chooses the one other girl Jaune might have had legitimate, romantic feelings for. In an alternate timeline, so to speak. 

So the whole “villain walks slowly towards the person they’re gonna kill and everyone who normally has superhuman reflexes doesn’t move an inch” trope is crazy annoying, right? Just putting that out there...

[calyssmarviss]

Calyss Watches the Clone Wars - 51

03x10 - Heroes on Both Sides.

WHY ARE THOSE GUYS STILL ALLOWED IN THE SENATE.

OKAY SO I WENT AND ASKED WOOKIEEPEDIA because I just can't stand not understanding that shit and Lott Dod the Neimoidian apparently once said that they had "Nothing to do with the Separatists. Nute Gunray is an extremist. His views do not reflect those of the Trade Federation." But he was also working with Rush and Poggle (which I forgot) on that droid factory so, yeeeeeeah, the Trade Fed isn't that loyal to the Republic.

Is that Ahsoka in the background? I'm not sure with this shitty image but it really looks like her.

Don't other Senators have the *hover to the center of the Senate* function? They're all like *wave fist and shout* but Padmé just presses a button and suddenly everyone has to listen to her.

"Members of the senate. Do you hear yourselves? More money, more clones, more war. Say nothing of fiscal responsibility, What about moral responsibility? Hasn't this war gone on long enough?"

THAT'S NOT THE POINT PADME!!! The other side has droids, they can go as long as they want because those aren't sentient lives that they're wasting (and even if they were, I doubt that would bother them that much) and they probably don't hesitate taking credit from the Banking Clans in order to keep making them.

(Btw why doesn't the Republic use droids??? That would solve so many of their problems)

Well at least I'm pleased to see my characterization of her in my fic is spot on on that point: SHE WANTS TO NEGOTIATE WITH THE SEPARATISTS!!! Tho I'm for the right of the people to decide if they wanna belong to a nation or whatev' (like, for what I care, Corsica can fuck off if they don't wanna be french??? That's how democracy should work: If enough people in an administrative sector wants independence, it should be granted to them.) I'm not sure that it's what they really want. Like, sure that must be what local governments were promised by Dooku, but that's not what Palpatine wants.

Oh, yeah, that's Ahsoka, with Anakin. What are they doing there? Don't they have someplace to be like, I don't know... Fighting in the Clone Wars???

Bail's like "Why don't we, like WAIT for any EMERGENCY bill, uh??"

I really like this conversation for some reason:

Nix Card: "That legislation would have meant billions for us." Gume Saam: "I tried my best to push the bill through." Lott Dod: "You did your part, representative. Senator Amidala is the problem." Nix Card: "I thought age might temper her idealism."

(That guy needs to meet Satine. She's like 10 years older than Padmé and there is nothing temperate about her.)

Gume Saam: “I know people who could do something about her." Lott Dod, getting genre savvy: "That task is more difficult than you presume." Nix Card: "Gentlemen, the Banking Clan and Trade Federation are about business, not violence." Lott Dod: "Hmm, in this case, our business is violence." Nix Card: "Precisely.With or without senator Amidala, the Galactic Senate is unlikely to de-regulate the banks... Until this war hits home." Lott Dod: "What exactly are you proposing?" Nix Card: "Perhaps some unexpected bloodshed on Coruscant, uh, may change a few minds." Lott Dod: "Coruscant? Coruscant has not been attacked in over 1,000 years." Nix Card: "Then it has a false sense of security. There are some powerful clients on the other side who could help us, uh, shall we say, make the point?" Gume Saam: "Ooh, I like this plan." Nix Card: "No one cares what you think."

:'D

Padmé to Anakin: “You must ask the Jedi Council to...”

Imma gonna stop you right there, Padmé. Do you think the Council is going to listen to him???

“... speak with Chancellor Palpatine.” Anakin: “Don’t involve me in this!”

I love Anakin so much.

WAIT

DID IT JUST HAPPENED WHILE OBI-WAN WAS CHASING ZIRO WITH QUIN? DID ANAKIN HAD HIS MAKEOVER????

ANAKIN YOU’RE KILLING ME

"War's complicated, Ahsoka. But let me simplify it. The Separatists believe the Republic is corrupt, But they're wrong, and we have to restore order."

You sweet summer child.

Also did no-one thought to explain it to Ahsoka before?

Ahsoka: "Master Skywalker said you should teach me about politics." Padmé: "Right." Ahsoka: "You know, you two have more in common than you think. It's no wonder you get along well." Padmé: "Huh. Of course."

Oh, Ahsoka, baby... How do I explain to you... :’D

GRIEVOUS'S SPEECH TO THE DROIDS

I love this?

How the fuck was Mina Padmé's mentor? What was she doing on Naboo?

I want that house Uh. Mina's voice sounds older than she looks. And Ahsoka looks already done with Lux :'D

Seriously what a dollface.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA AHSOKA I LOVE YOU GIRL.

So it’s been a while but I’m pretty sure this was referring to Ahsoka and Lux and “seems like boys are the same weither they are Republic or Separatist.”

Padmé: "I sense Dooku's dirty hand in all of this."

Boy does he has dirty hands. Have you seen his fingernails?

Mina: "Too peace, then." Padmé: "To hope."

URGH. Can they talk about something else than hope in Star Wars? I'm growing tired of the optimism here. Like they could toast to common sense that would be refreshing.

That looks a lot like the british parliament.

So the Separatist Parliament agrees on meeting with the Senate to talk peace, which we all know is gonna fail obv... 

Grievous really gets all the best stuff. Look at this fancy chair! :o

Clone working directly for the Senate?

Because that's the Senate symbol... Don't they have their own guards? That's a rhetorical question I know they have guards I killed a whole bunch of them in my fic it was glorious. (No actually it wasn't I was too busy killing Temple Guards the Senate Guard got a bit overlooked)

Cleaning murder bots fucking stupid they don' teven know where the power generators are *eyeroll*

Senate Clone: "Stupid droids."

OMG SHEEV SHUT YOUR DIRTY FUCKING MOUTH. AND PADME YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MORE CLEVER THAN THIS JUST DON'T SQUINT AT HIM LIKE "I don't understand" OF COURSE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND BITCH NO ONE UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL FUCKING MORONS.

You gross Amedda.

What is this I love it. OH SHIT IT'S, LIKE, UNDER THE SENATE???? ARE THOSE THE POWER GENERATORS???? OMG.

1) are those radar technicians? no they're not but who cares they're the Matts from now one. 2) the Matts are all humans dudes so I think some higher up is both specist and mysoginist

Well shit. Oh much do you wanna bet no one is gonna suspect the Banking Clans when obviously there are the one who beneficiate the most from the vote not happening? AND HERE THEY GO. LET'S DEREGULATE THE BANKS. WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING IDIOTS.

For once Padmé is feeling the stupid too.

OH HELLO ANAKIN I'VE MISSED YOU. You're talking shit tho man. He's like "we have eyes and ears everywhere so ofc we know it's the Sepies". Ans also:

"It was dangerous and careless to go to Raxus, not to mention illegal. You went to far this time."

LIKE EXCUSE ME SKYWALKER BUT "DANGEROUS, CARELESS, ILLEGAL , and GOING TO FAR"???? That's you in a nutshell buddy.

Ahsoka: "You would do the same. You do the same all the time!"

THANK YOU SNIPS.

Prev/Next

[exsanguisdraconis]

Lore Policy: 

As I am rebooting this blog I want to take a moment to let you guys know how some of my opinions have changed over my absence. I’m going to be a little different when it comes to what I will and won’t tolerate out of respect for myself and everything I’ve created.

I will not alter my lore for you.

What I mean by this is I’m not just to change something or accept an idea you throw at me if it directly conflicts with ideas I’ve already got set in place. World building isn’t easy. I try and make everything I do tie into a complex web of factors. For instance, I couldn’t just change the location of Verena’s temple because it not only ties into the location of Mond’era (where she was released from after her captivity) but also into elven lore as well as the type of dragon Ena is. Changing one means I have to change the other and not only did these ideas take a long time to initially make, remaking them takes just as much if not more time. And I can’t just ignore it. I wish I could, I wish I didn’t need world building to make sense when if I ignored it we’d never run into an issue, but I can’t. It’s not how my mind works.

Likewise I can’t add something like a type of dragon or a place just because you want me to. I love when people share their ideas with me and sometimes I can easily work them into what we’re doing, but I’m not obligated to make changes to a world I created because you think it’d be cool.

What this does NOT mean

I understand that for certain verses, my lore has to be altered. This is why I generally say that doing threads with me is more like a cross-over situation (where two worlds collide) rather than an au. I have spent five years between this blog and my old Loki blog crafting this world and it’s difficult for me to give all that up just to interact with fandom based muses (be they canon or oc). If you’d spent so much time and effort on something, I’m certain you’d feel the same way. However I am aware than in doing cross overs, some fandoms like Game of Thrones or Harry Potter already have their own ideas about dragons. Maybe you’re an oc writer yourself and you have your own ideas about dragons. That’s great! My opinions are not infallible. 

What I usually try to do is make it so our lore can work side by side. Since all of these verses will have something to do with magic (I do not do all human aus at any time) it is usually pretty easy to say “ok yes they’re both dragons but they came from different worlds” and not have that be too far of a stretch. That way no one has to give up their own personal headcanons.

On the occasion that we do have a true conflict of interest in lore then the way I decide on what to compromise on is who has had their lore for longer, and which headcanon makes more sense. For instance someone tried to argue with me once that dragons should not take mud baths (as all my dragons do) and it made more sense for them to roll in the sand. Neither idea was bad, but given the planet where my dragons have existed for millions of years has about three sandy deserts all in all and the nature of why they were taking the mud baths in the first place, I decided it just didn’t make any sense for my dragons to have adapted to need to roll in sand. I gave her idea a good deal of thought and eventually even created a species of desert dwelling dragons, but I eventually just politely told her that given the circumstances, her idea just didn’t make sense.

In these instances I don’t want to argue and honestly, I’m not difficult to persuade. In fact I usually try to get on your side and think of ideas in your favor to try and make things work before instantly shutting you down. I have no problem differing to lore that isn’t mine. But if you made a headcanon yesterday that majorly affects my muse and conflicts with the lore I’ve written for five years, I’m not just going to yield to that.

Likewise I will not alter my lore for your partners

Ok full disclosure this is a weird rule and I wouldn’t include it if it hadn’t just recently been an issue but if you decide to get with another partner that isn’t me and say you become exclusives and adopt that person’s muse into your general lore, I’m not going to let that have any affect on my muses.

So like, if you start writing with someone who writes Zeus and you all decide Zeus is your muse’s father, I’m probably not even going to pay attention. First off, I despise pissing matches. I try to put our characters in situations that contain occasional conflict but rarely physical altercation because figuring out who is stronger and who should win is a pain in my ass. Not to mention I’ve been burned in action threads by people who do things I specifically told them not to do OOC. My only thought as to why you would want your new lore to take place in our verse is because you’re trying to specifically out-do my muse. This is stupid and childish and I won’t be a part of it. Second, this entire scenario is different if we have never written with one another before. If I see on your rules/about page that you have a child of Zeus muse with a specific partner and I follow you anyway, of course I’m going to take your lore and headcanons into consideration. But if we’ve got a previously established verse and you just willy nilly decide to change factors that effect everyone in said verse without even talking to me? No. Fuck that.

I can and will insert my lore/make verses in any fandom I choose.

I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense to you. I don’t care how stupid you think it is. You don’t have to write with me if that makes you uncomfortable. You don’t even have to follow me. But don’t bitch at me about just wanting to have fun and be involved in fandoms I enjoy. If we’re not a good match as partners because we can’t work stuff like this out, just tell me. I’m super chill, I’ll understand. And if we don’t even write together then I’m especially uninterested in your opinions about who I can or cannot write with.

Finally, this is slightly off topic but still important:

Respect my muses and my lore.

I know that conflict can be fun in threads, I write a ton of it, but I’m writing dragons. You followed a dragon blog. Not only are my muses powerful and should get at least a sliver of respect because of that, but they also have aspirations and titles within my lore that make them prone to vanity and intolerant. 

If your muse doesn’t respect Areta’s position as a Hydra Head, if they don’t respect the other members in the Council, if they disregard Reta’s desire to be a High Dragon or dismiss her research then they cannot have a friendly relationship with Areta. We can still write together, but I’m not going to force my characters to change and to just be ok with ill treatment. Yes I am in control of my characters, yes I am always willing to look at aspects that might be offensive or insensitive, yes I’m always looking to improve, but you aren’t allowed to pigeon hole me or my characters into certain boxes because that’s what YOU want to write with. If you’re doing that you’re using me as a backboard to essentially write a fanfiction----with my characters. That’s very offensive.

Know who you agreed to write with. Ena is a powerful ex-fighter who has spent hundreds of years suffering at the hands of her abusers. She’s largely influenced by her animal instincts, unlike her sister, she’s got zero respect for anyone that isn’t herself, she trusts no one, but at the same time she often feels very lost. She wants affection and usually doesn’t know how to seek it out, so she either doesn’t or she does the wrong thing. She’s both haunted by her past and apathetic regarding a lot of the decisions she had to make to survive. The point here is she isn’t your run of the mill sarcastic asshole character and generalizing her like that and trying to force me into simplifying her character makes me SUPER uncomfortable. 

Look guys all I want is to be respected. I’m going to respect you. I’m a nice person, I’m a relaxed person who just wants to have fun. I’ve worked very, very hard on the things you see on this blog. What you see here on my blog and on the attached side blogs isn’t even everything. It’s the tip of an iceberg of the world I created and one day hope to publish. I’m not asking you to do anything for me that I am not willing to do for you. I’m not telling anyone to differ to me and my ideas. What I am doing is telling you how I feel, letting you know where I’m willing to compromise, and asking you to do the same for me.

All these posts go around about how role play should be fun, but role play is a give and take. Forcing me into things I’m not comfortable with isn’t fun for me and eventually that’ll mean I drop the thread. If you have a question or concern about something, just come talk to me. I’m not a hard person to talk to granted you aren’t being down right hateful. And look at it this way, I’m going to talk to you about things I’m confused on, so you may as well return the favor. You can’t look any stupider than me.

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 2 | “GET ME OUT OF HERE ” - Devon

okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which is uploading where i basically talked about dealing with being a winner/the tomb and having an idol/potentially wanting to go to tribal pre-swap/deliberately choosing the puzzle/how much i love jake so that'll come at some point after this but just KNOW that came first. anyway just wanted to talk MORE because i have more thoughts. last round i was really conscious of needing to micro-manage my threat level and i think im putting in work to do that? im very concious that i cant play the same game as montenegro because im coming into it from a very different perspective/position. However, one thing I can do this season is transfer my prejury game, because i think it still works. What I need to do is to some extent take a backseat, where I'm not actively messaging people first, and keeping game talk kinda limited (but acknowledging it when people talk to me). Like I have the safety cushion of my idol, and my connection to jake/jordan, and to some extent dan and lovelis? like im not gonna be a target (touch wood) and hopefully if i am my men tm going to keep an eye out for me.... hopefully? it also means im not gonna be pushy about votes im gonna hear names and run with it (as long as its not jake/jordan, or lovelis tbh i get real good vibes from him). but yeah id really love the beauty tribe to go to tribal this round ive literally never spoken to a single one of them so i'd love one of that tribe that is a complete unknown quantity to go home DJDKLFSF. but yis so im feeling good taking a backseat but im gonna ejector seat myself forwards at some point, just got to figure out when to push the button

Okay so Bodhi left last night and that was really sad. We had nice conversations but i told him that if the rest of the tribe wanted him out i wasn't going to campaign for him. He ended up making his rounds but at the end of the day, no one felt strongly about keeping him. He speaks so well that it took me a night's rest to get my head straight. Also Trace got an alliance together of himself, myself, Scott and Isaac. Bitch i was SHOOK! I am so glad to be likable enough to be brought into someone else's core. So this kind of perfectly positioned myself and Scott between 2 alliances. I believe we're both more loyal to the one we formed before we found out we were going to tribal, but who knows. I did tell Autumn of the news because i figure if we were to lose again. Whichever of Isaac of Trace remains is going to feel on bottom and blow up that Scott and I were two-timing the DADS. Btw that is the dumbest alliance name I have ever been a part of but whatever. The rat pack has also formed and now him and I are in a good spot. I will say that i am nervous that MISS ALYSSA spoke the comparison into existence, but i really hope we don't continue to flop like Luzon did on Cagayan. But hey! If Denise can go to every tribal council in one season and win, maybe i can too. (PS i pissed myself with my score in winterbells but also F*CK WINTERBELLS, thats all, ty) 

Honestly I’m really regretting not participating in this challenge because I feel like our scores are.......not great. I feel like I could have turned out the puzzle and even winterbells. The flag Lovelis made is super cute and i think will fair well bc it’s very clean and neat. It’s not super creative, but it’s definitely well made. I think even if we went to tribal I would be okay though. Liam seems like an easy enough boot for us. No one seems that dazzled by his contributions to the tribe. 

i literally am the biggest clown who ever clowned for continuing to overdo it in challenges, if i'm allowed to make it to merge at this point it will literally be a miracle.

So Bodhi left on a unanimous vote yesterday and I'm glad that it worked out as planned! I definitely felt bad lying to him about it all and stuff, but I think it was the best for the tribe going forward. What does suck however is that we lost AGAIN! And it was actually close this time! I'm actually annoyed that we lost this time because I submitted my challenge at 4PM and the reason why we lost was because the last submission was at 8 :/ like... y'all couldn't get it in any earlier? Plus I'm annoyed because I find myself in the swing position between the DADS and The Rat Pack. Personally I don't trust Trace after finding out he tried to play the Rat Pack off as my idea when it was really his all along. To me, it shows that he'd betray me later on down the line. And the only purpose for "The Rat Pack" is so they feel like they're in the majority. So since we lost, I don't mind voting out Trace. Duncan and I called to confirm that we're on the same page. We also found out that Devon is telling us the same things about loyalty and allegiances and I don't like that. He also told Duncan that he would throw immunities and play idols for him if he needed it, and that Duncan was his number 1 ally. But he said the same exact thing to me. So... that has me a little sketch. But I also think that Autumn/Duncan are a close pair, so I may need to stick close to Devon for the long hall. But if Autumn/Duncan think I'm more with them than Devon, I'll take it. I'm supposed to go on call with the Dads soon. Duncan wants to tell them about the rat alliance so that Isaac doesn't use it as motive to get us out. Which i agree that it'd be a good idea as long as devon/autumn stick with us. Duncan and I both feel like Devon might be thrown off since he always likes to be in control, but not actually being in charge. So we'll need to do damage control when that happens. But for now it seems like Trace is going unless things change. If things go how I would want it to, then Trace leaves tomorrow. 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JKqH3EQMlugIe-lwHMYMG2qoVZ7dvIzr/view?usp=sharing

Omg!!!!! Another win that makes me so happy . The tribe is all getting along great and I couldnt all for better ppl. I'm hoping soon to get some kind of solid group together. Kendell adam and amiry are ppl I def wanna work with long term at the time. Just gotta see what happens. 

Not much has been happening lately so I might be able to keep this short and not ramble on and on like i usually do (ill still end up writing a novel probably) yippy yay it's day 5 and everything is still all smiles and giggles over here because we've won yet another immunity!! kinda boring tbh but obviously im happy we won immunity because now that buys me one more day and at the end of it that's all i care about. I kinda did want the brauns to go to tribal however instead of the brains because i just really would like my beauties to get a nice foot hold and a lead in the game, i actually enjoy taking to some of these people, and im trying my best to talk to as many people as i can, which anyone who knows me knows isn't the easiest thing for me, i was reading some of my old confessionals from both my past games and the one thing i consistently got dragged for was not being as present with people, which granted i did improve a lot on last time around for sure, but i still got work to do and im realizing that more each day when i have no urge whatsoever to talk to anyone (don't worry, it's not you, it's (crippling depression) me! I understand socializing is part of the game and i do think my social game is my strongest asset but to me i like to think of my social game as a more distinct kind, im more elusive and i like to be that, if you leave them wanting more dahling they'll keep you around, i dont like to show all my cards, and that's a quality that i reflect in both survivor and life, and it has advantages and disadvantages in both but ANYWHO despite all that dare i say i think im still doing *decent* ? I'm making it a priority to reach out at least once a day to *most people (AJ, Augusto, Amir, Austin) are the ones ive probably had some of the best conversations with where it was the most natural and just flowed you know, and still is on day 5, and with kendall ive had some talks with her i do like her but idk i get this vibe she's kinda holding back when talking to me, and ESPECIALLY same with connor? we only had one private conversation and he gave me about a 3 word response, and if you havent guessed by now i like elaboration or at least a lil bit of personality when you talk, no shade just an observation, so that's a small red flag im very much a person who matches energy, one of my go to's in survivor is being open to the possibility of anything, ill always work with anyone who will work with me, and i think thats how everyone should play so hopefully the people ive been talking a lot to feel similar but i guess we'll have to wait until a vote of some sort to see about all that.. I still havent heard any idol talk or even game talk quite frankly so im guessing people are just still keeping the friendly facade up..... or ...... is it me?? am i the one on the outs looking like boo boo the fool or is that just my paranoia getting to me??? im not gonna send myself into a tizzy about getting voted out when we're not even going to tribal i- lemme calm down. If i had to guess I'd say Kendall, Connor, or Amir have the idol probably but sounds like a mystery for another day because im DONE im clocking out for the night until other people wanna wake up and play the game too oop final note: ok but it would be sick and twisted if it turns out they are all playing the game just without me and im the first boot of the tribe 

Waking up on this glorious Day 5 with a new perspective. I originally applied to be on the brains tribe and was shook when I got brawn because let’s face it, my arms are akin to overcooked spaghetti noodles. BUT my tribe is so much stronger than the brains. I’m hoping for a big name to go to shake things up. AND I’m not really looking to swap onto a tribe with Trace or Autumn due to our past game history. Love them both dearly, but it’s gonna be a no from me. 

okie so! update from me is i think im doing okay. like i think the benefit of no dua lipa cave is you can just build connections with everyone, you aren't voting someone out every round so why not capitalise on that? i'm so afraid of the fact that i'm overdoing it in challenges like i really need to calm. down. but im reassuring myself with the fact that in the first challenge i only was top because i did like... one more thing than others like its not thattt big of a deal? my puzzle time was clownery but hopefully people don't pay attention to it? im getting very anxious about overdoing it in challenges, but my thought process now is like. i need to act like people have an awareness of it, without getting kinda consumed by my anxiety about it? idk im hoping since most of these people don't know me, they wont notice me doing good in the challenge but truly who can be sure also am really just liking my tribe? like jake is ofc a king, i love jordan (who im gonna talk to later, he is the only one i feel like i have to talk to today), i also really like TJ who i was super harsh on at the start for no reason, i get good ally vibes from lovelis, liam m is super sweet even tho he is kinda inactive and dan is so fun (plus he told jake that he speaks to me one of the most so we love that!!). i've been trying to figure out what i even do about a lot of the super old school players that i have no connection/point of reference with? like people like scott, adam, kendall, aj i have truly no basis with? thats whats so scary about a swap, is at this point in the game i know 10/20 people left aka the brawn tribe + duncan/isaac/autumn, and like 10/20 isnt bad... BUT then the other 10 aka the beauty tribe + trace/scott/devon i have literally no connection to which is super scary JAKSDFA. im just real afraid of a swap. just swap me with jordan/jake/autumn/isaac PLEATHE. im just a pile of anxiety this season idk what to do im like frozen because of how scared i am... maybe it'll be all fine

Well, that was a close one. I struggled with that comp all day and I feel like absolute shit that I only got our team that 1 point. To me, it's inexcusable not to have be able to help my tribe as I wanted to contribute and make sure I made my worth known. So now I'm just this paranoid mess that I would have been in trouble had we gone to tribal. It's been hard to talk to some of these people or for most of those who I do talk to, I just don't really know where there head is at. I'm not sure if this is just a really guarded tribe, or if I really should be concerned. So I don't know what to do just yet. And that's not a feeling I like when playing TS.

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty sad that Bodhi left the game like he was so active pre-season so I was expecting him to do his best to go super far and maybe he did? I don’t know, but I did want a chance to actually get to play with him in TS but we keep passing each other by! I hope he is doing good despite how he might feel being the first boot yknow but yeah <3 

The way I absolutely flopped with the idol system stuff is all types of funny and sad at the same time like I REALLY thought I did something only for it to be part of the challenge… That being said, Amir did tell me that he has a theory the idol system might be based on numbers which is interesting! I am super thankful he decided to tell me and we went on this long talk about how we are each other’s #1s which is super cute! I really do trust Amir and I do want to go far with him because he’s awesome but that being said, my #1 is me like I promised myself that I’d be selfish this time around just because being the selfless person I am hasn’t gotten me a win but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We did go over a lot of stuff in terms of tribe dynamics and we both kinda agreed that AJ would be the first boot from the time if we went to tribal, we like our alliance with Kendall/Connor, we both like Adam and we both think Austin is sweet/genuine even if we don’t talk to him tons so yay for that too <3

I am SO trying to sell the fact that me and Kendall are a duo to Kendall which is funny to me idk hjfkds like she did approach me super early on about aligning but I do have the tiniest feeling she did that to mostly everyone but I’m trying to pin us with each other to her so she trusts me more, especially since I do feel as though she is the best connected on the tribe. I even called us Crystal Cox (me bc blazing speed and challenge flop ofc) and Ken(dell) ghfjdksl, I’m doing the most but yeah, I just want Kendall to see me as her #1 in the game on the off chance anything happens yknow?

Austin thinks I’m his #1 which is really sweet? I do like Austin even if it is hard to talk to him sometimes but hey, that happens. He told me that he’s really glad I’m on this tribe (which I have heard from basically everyone especially Adam and Amir which makes me feel cute omg) and that we might need to get a group going soon. I was like…. Tea but I also don’t know how quickly I want to get an alliance including Austin going just because it’s like… do I reveal that Austin and I are close-ish and be seen as a social threat? That just ain’t cute sis! But yeah, Austin told me he also really likes Kendall and Amir and that’s awesome that the two people I feel the closest to are ALSO doing THAT but at the same time, I want to be the one doing THAT the most because I’m greedy (by Ariana Grande) so it’s something to keep in mind! 

The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks

Ugh fineeeee since I've been called out... by myself. I guess I'll do the bare minimum. So we won immunity!!!! Wooo!!!!!! Low-key though through out the entire process of making the flag, I just kept thinking darn I wish we voted out someone last tribal because drawing 7 people is annoying... watch me get voted out next tribal council lol. That would be quality foreshadowing. Today I have two goals. 1. Figure out what the method of entering the tomb. I intend on getting in contact with Augusto or Connor for that one. Augusto because he is low-key my number one. Connor because I feel if anyone can solve it he probably could. 2. Set up group chat with me, Augusto, and Austin. So Austin can feel a false sense of reassurance and Augusto and I have options. Write more later maybe.

Honestly im feeling kind of trepidatious going forward which is a little wierd, i just dont feel like ive gotten my footing yet in this game. I think like, im in a good spot to be fine on this tribe because of my social game and how I contribute in challenges, but I dont know if I feel good about anything longterm just yet. What really is bothering me is the tomb. Its gonna be round 3 tonight and I haven't made any more progress on getting in than I have night one. I feel like I have a lot of pieces to this puzzle but nothing is fitting together and its bothering me. I'm also a little upset that if we lose, I could see Liam being the target and I can't see my self risking my position to save him if he cant save himself. He has my name on his wiki page its an obvious association to me, and while I think hed be loyal to me, I'm just wondering honestly if him as an ally is worth the target it may bring. Im cautiously moving through the beginning of this game with a lot of unnease and hopefully I find some steady ground soon.

I am annoyed that we are yet again at tribal. I played so fucking hard at winter bells but of course someone on another tribe got like 238593277 billion which threw us back into tribal... So annoying truthfully. But it's alright, I should be able to make it out alive. I want Devon to go home. But I also don't want to let my guard down. This vote is important for a few reasons. The first reason is that our tribe is very close, so I am nervous that lines are going to be drawn in the sand. The second is that, after this vote, we will be down to five, making 3 the majority. We have an alliance of 4, and lord knows that when you are down to 5, whoever feels like 3 and 4 of the alliance are most likely going to try and rope in the 5th person to get rid of each other. So my plan is to make Isaac and Scott BOTH feel as though they are my number 1s so that they actually stick to our alliance of 4 thinking that I will be keeping them both if we lose again. This is the only way that i can see it working, but idk. I feel bad if Devon ends up going because he's a nice guy, but we have to make choices about strengthening our team, and then I have to make a choice about strengthening my place in the game. Hopefully this doesn't come to bite me in the ass.

Things have been going pretty well for my tribe! We won the first immunity challenge and that really seemed to boost tribe morale. Granted, these past couple of days I've been quiet since I'm trying to boost grades that are literally 0s into something manageable before I graduate hehe. I've tried to keep up with people through small conversations, which seems to work better for me at the moment until I get myself together. Adam wants to create an alliance with Augusto and Amir, which I'm totally for. I understand, though, that he doesn't wanna do it immediately since there's really no urgency to? We didn't go to tribal, so why did it matter! That excuse aside, I do hope that us holding our breath to say something doesn't bite us in the ass because these are people I want to work with! I wanna get something going with Kendall as well hopefully, since I adore her! Earlier, I stated that Adam and I (Adam, really) found our way into the tomb and both flopped in the questions. Adam took another stab at it and found out we've been bamboozled! Someone beat us to the punch and has whatever contents were inside the tomb. I'm assuming it was an idol, but who knows what else is in there! It kinda made me lose motivation to keep searching inside but when in Rome? I'll probably end up trying again despite knowing the end result just because I wanna prove I can be a smart cookie as well. I also didn't gloss over this but I'll mention it really quickly, but I'm sad Bodhi went! He was one of the few people I was familiar with on the other tribes so it's unfortunate we aren't going to be able to connect with each other this game. A king has fallen. In lighter and more recents events, my tribe crushed the second immunity challenge. Kendall stunned with her artistry and I'm still gushing over how cute everyone's character was. I kinda like decimated Winterbells, but I've always been good at the game, and Amir did really well in the scavenger hunt. Augusto and Austin did really well in the puzzle also, despite their lack of confidence in offering a strong performance. We appear to be THEE tribe to beat honestly and I'm loving that. I love our tribe! I LOVE OUR TRIBE! It really would be a tragedy if we aren't able to keep up this win streak we're manifesting. 

Sorry for not writing this sooner! Been having a bad depressive episode for the last couple days and it makes me unmotivated to write c': I feel like a flop so far in this game, not because I submit shit scores, but because I find it exhausting to connect with some of these people. They're all very nice in their own special ways, but interacting w some is like pulling teeth, and I guarantee they feel the same about me, which I would expect. That being said, I hope we keep winning, cause I don't have the energy to go to tribal right now.

Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE. 

Thank God we won that based on the tiebreaker, but yikes I didn't think my flag would've tanked so hard. Guess I've gotta get better at perfecting my craft huh, but at least we're safe. I feel nervous on this tribe to be honest, because I think I'm the second to bottom on the totem pole after the other Liam, so it isn't reassuring that if we lose twice I'll either be gone, or I could even be gone at our first tribal if he's got a solid alliance going...the only alliance I have right now is with Jordan and I don't really know where I sit with everyone else, but I'm afraid of overplaying... ugh so annoying! I think I just need to force a couple of game related conversations with people to build up some trust, just hope it wouldn't paint a target on my back for trying I guess...

oh gorl, some of these people on my tribe really think im just the clown of the tribe and cant put two and two together, well guess what, IM NOT. So Amir messages me, which nothing out of the ordinary there, ive been talking to him every day so far for the most part like i said we're a little familiar with each other from our pasts, but i was VERY surprised today at what had happened... what had happened was....he starts talking the smallest bit of game with me, basically he just said, "is it me or is everyone really quiet here?" and so i just agreed with him and i said yeah i dont think people are talking game yet which is a little weird, and then i threw the TINEST tea crumpet out there and i said "yeah ive talked to some people so easily like you, but then there's others who.....i cant say the same for" and i was absolutely hinting at connor/kendall just because i havent had the longest convos with them, which no biggie, but THEN about 20 minutes later i get a message from CONNOR of all people saying "hey adam!" ..... obviously im glad to talk to him and im all for getting to know everyone, but my instincts immediately went off and told me it's a little sus....how not even a few minutes ago i was saying how some people never talk to me and then out of no where the one person i was mainly talking about messages me?? Coincidences don't exist in survivor. Now I really have no choice but to think that amir in someway mentioned to connor that i said theres some people i havent talked to at all and that he probably needed to work on that.. which is true, but cmon. i know the tribe brain cell is missing but at least put a little thought into this and message me later tonight or not right after i say it?? I'm not sure if they have any type of past connection and while I definitely do wanna keep building my relationship with Amir, this will definitely make me question him a little bit at least until i see how some votes fall when we eventually go to tribal. Amir also told me he's had the most convos with Augusto, which is funny because thats exactly how both me and aj feel about augusto, which tells me augusto is really playing the game rn, and while thats someone i want to work with, it's also someone i need to be extremely careful with if we're still playing together down the road. plot twist: connor messaging me has absolutely nothing to do with amir and i just made this whole conspiracy for nothing but idk.... it's a conspiracy IM interested in.

***last add on because i forgot to say how the hell im gonna HANDLE this amir/connor situation... im keeping my eyes on it incase theyre in kahoots and also if they think im that dumb then clearly they havent watched me play before, which is great for me but bad for them, you cant trick a trickster try all you want, There's nothing I love more than being underestimated in survivor because it kinda makes it a little easier to play and gives me more options, so sure ill keep up my fake smiles and act like we're all fine and dandy, ill play dumb and wont even act like im onto them but i absolutely am and ill be ready to make my move the second it seems right 

Ugh I feel so DIRTY. I feel so GROSS. Poor Devon, truly. I spoke with Autumn and told her about Devon, and she was in without a fight and told me that it should be 5-1. And then Devon came to me and was like... we all good for the vote tonight? And I'm like ................yes? Lol. I'm good, you're probably not. ugh, this is the part of this game that I hate. I want to never lose immunity ever again, let someone else break someone else's heart!

Something about Kendall is so chaotic and terrifying and I can’t put a finger on why.her aligning was her talking to me for the first time in a day saying “let’s align” and created an alliance chat without even asking who else should be in it which leads me to believe her Augusto and Connor already have a trio and I was the 4th. Are all these focking people playing me?? Like i still cant tell if this is a real alliance but i want to believe it is and not a bluff to vote me out. But also like why even do that, the only person on this cast that I trust and have played with, bodhi, has just been voted out. I’m a free agent and I can help that alliance make it far in the game, but they also have lots of relationships on other tribes so like I might not even be that valuable to them. I mentioned to Augusto about the numbers on the blog, hoping to create more trust because I really really love him and want to trust him but I’m still just so damn unsure. if we lose this immunity and I get one bad signal from any of those 3, if they slip up even once, I won’t hesitate to align and gather the minority. But if they are playing me properly, then kudos to them! 

I am just happy i have the idol i am going to put it in my ass. 

me when the brains tribe only has 5 members left http://prntscr.com/s8y76g

You know what? https://66.media.tumblr.com/b7b4accba586ad321141b6ba80d69044/tumblr_omule3fwZC1w1swfno1_250.gifv I'm mad but I'm not tight because that same alliance that Duncan and I orchestrated is the same alliance that will get us through. So do I enjoy going to tribal? No. And do I enjoy knowing that Trace created an alliance w/ everyone except me and Devon? No. But the Dads will prevail and I trust Scott and the gang. I mean Ducnan is family so as long as we don't go it's fine. But Devon is my baby so absolutely gotta kill for him. That's what keep em close hahaha But no the Trace vote is a dream come true that I only crossed my mind once and STILL got manifested. Like Duncan suggested it and I said you got it because Trace will be the FIRST to rally all the white boys against me in a swap. Cute or not, Trace will kill me I'm convinced. Like something in my spirit told me not to trust Trace and low and behold: Duncan reveals that alliance to me on Day 3. So confirmed, Trace is leaving so that I don't fall to the bottom of the tribe. But it's all good- Isaac listens to Fleetwood Mac and watches Schitt's Creek so he's a good guy. And Scott is literally a cinammon roll who's too busy to snitch or flip. I don't have time to discuss how much I love Duncan or Devon so we're tabling that. Anyway If y'all need me I'll be doing this 4 part immunity challenge that determines whether I make Final 3 in the other org I'm in so try not to need me lmao

okay so... we aren't going to tribal but its still kinda messy on brawn beach. i kinda have felt this energy for a while, but i don't think jake and jordan have enough trust between the two of them for us to be a continual three person alliance. jake is a very reactive, gut-impulse kind of player which is honestly to his benefit since he is super perceptive. however that also means he is quick to be anxious about stuff in the game, which is the same as me and that is why we click. BUT. he thinks something is up with dan/jordan and honestly i see that and feel it. jordan keeps hinting at dan being the one to loop in and i think that does say something about them having some sort of game dynamic. however, jordan is maybe downplaying that relationship which is scary KLAF tbh i still like jordan and wanna work with him, but i do 100% have to keep tabs on him, his social connections could definitely become a problem if he has other priorities over me! so i think i just have to make sure im a continuing priority for him, so i have to find some sort of information to bring to him (maybe when dan proposes the alliance of me/jordan/jake/dan to me ill run to jordan and be like hey did dan suggest this to you how do you feel) to solidify that sort of trust? idk... i want my j-men to stick together and they ARENT. maybe i need to solidify stuff with TJ specifically more, he gives good ally vibes? but ya... its a mess tm

[fae-fucker]

Crown of Midnight: Chapter 3-4

Chapter 3

Nothing fucking happens. Sardines has a nightmare about Cain and later she and Nehemia talk about the rebellion and the king’s plans without really saying anything, and my hatred for that fucking dog just keeps growing. Observe.

Fleetfoot took off through the pale grass like a bolt of golden lightning 

[...]

Dorian had never said what breed, exactly, he suspected her mother had mated with. Given Fleetfoot’s size, it could have been a wolfhound. Or an actual wolf.

Are you telling me this fucking dog is a fucking golden wolf?

I will eat this spaghetti-lookin’ bitch.

Nehemia’s creamy brown face paled slightly.

Why does the word “creamy” upset me so much in this?

Nehemia wants Sardines to try to figure out what the king is planning, but Sardines is like “nah”. 

She wasn’t even sure if she truly wanted to know what the king was up to—let alone share that information with anyone else. It was selfish, and stupid, perhaps, but she couldn’t forget the warning the king had given the day he crowned her Champion: if she stepped out of line, if she betrayed him, he’d kill Chaol. And then Nehemia, and then the princess’s family. 

But then, literally the next sentence:

And all of this—every death she faked, every lie she told—put them at risk.

Sardines: Hmm. Finding out the king’s sinister plans and telling my allies about them is a bad idea -- even though said allies desperately need that information -- because that might put them at risk, but saving various noblemen for no reason and put my unknowing allies in danger just so I can keep the moral high ground makes total and absolute sense!

What a master schemer this idiot is, huh? 

WHAT A KWEEN. 

People say they love Sardines but hate Alien and I frankly don’t get it. Sardines has always been a dumb, selfish twat, that will clearly never change. 

Celaena swallowed hard. That word—“act”—scared her more than she’d like to admit.

Good self-burn there, buddy.

Chapter 4

Salad (which is my new nickname for Chaol) and Sardines are having a jog.

They’d bundled up as best they could without weighing themselves down—mostly just layers of shirts and gloves— but even with sweat running down his body, Chaol was freezing.

Layers of gloves? What the fuck?

Noticing his stare, she flashed him a grin, those stunning turquoise eyes full of light.

Eat my entire ass, Sarah.

Salad angst about how he killed Cain. He’s very sad about it. This is what you get for hiring an inexperienced twenty-something to be the captain of the guard. But if we don’t make him young it’ll be icky for Sardines to fuck him, and if we don’t make him captain then he’s just NOT GOOD ENOUGH for Sardines, ain’t that right, Sarah?

I’d say you’re being transparent but you’re already pretty white. 

He was the Captain of the Guard—he was bound to have killed someone at some point. He’d already seen and done enough in the name of the king; he’d fought men, hurt them.

SJM: Hey guys I’m clearly aware that this is dumb but if I acknowledge it’s dumb you’ll accept it, right?

No.

Salad asks Sardines if she ever thinks about the people she’s killed, and since she’s the most ruthless and epic and badass assassin the world has ever known, ever, she angsts on about how she never forgets anyone she kills. 

I don’t give a single shit.

Salad angst about how he desperately wants to nestle his dick between Sardines’ pearly white and hairless asscheeks, but can’t because uuuuhhh angst angst loyalty to the king and also Dorian wants to do her and he doesn’t want to betray his friend.

Whatever. I don’t give a damn. Unlike many other antis, I don’t consider Chaol to be a good character and I couldn’t give less of a shit about his problems. 

Listen. You guys only think he’s good because everyone else is pretty much terrible. You cling to him because his mediocrity looks impressive when compared to the literal ass-garbage that is the rest of the lineup. 

We jump POV back to Sardines. 

And what’s this? GIRL HATE? FOR ME?! IN CHAPTER FOUR?! 

Christmas Yulemas has come early this year.

Since Salad is all sweaty from their jog and his shirt clings to his HOT MUSCLED MALE MANLY MASCULINE VIRILE MAN-BOD, there are DUMB VAPID BITCHES there to check him out.

Celaena could have sworn their eyes had bulged out of their heads and their tongues had rolled onto the ground. 

Then the next morning, they’d appeared along the path again—wearing even nicer dresses. The day after that, more girls showed up. And then several more. And now every direct route from the game park to the castle had at least one set of young women patrolling, waiting for him to walk by. 

“Oh, please,” Celaena hissed as they passed two women, who looked up from their fur muffs to bat their eyelashes at him. They must have awoken before dawn to be dressed so finely.

You see, when Sardines ogles Salad or Doriass, that’s okay because uuuuuuuuh Sarah loves her little baby girl and she can’t do no wrong and also she feels TRU WUV (even though her TRU WUV is made irrelevant with the arrival of Ratty to the point where every other love was just useless before that I guess) when she checks those boys out.

THESE GIRLS DRESS NICELY!! TO IMPRESS MEN!! WHILE ALSO CHECKING THEM OUT!! 

THEY’RE VAPID DUMB BITCHES!! EVEN THOUGH THE ONLY WAY FOR WOMEN TO GET POWER IN THIS SOCIETY IS THROUGH MEN!! LOOK AT THEM AND LAUGH!! SO PATHETIC!! 

Cool cool. 

God, I hate this series so much. 

Salad offers Sardines to help her with her Archer-related business and she turns him down. 

Hey Salad, aren’t you, like, I dunno, the captain of the guard? Don’t you have STUFF TO DO?! 

Sorry, I forgot that this world and its characters all revolve around Sardines and her problems. How silly of me.

They come across Doriass who is walking around with his cousin Roland, who I’m sure is totally chill. 

His voice was pleasant enough, but something in it made her pause. It wasn’t amusement or arrogance or anger … She couldn’t put her finger on it.

[...]

Just the way he spoke told her enough about his history with women.

[...]

As she let Chaol lead her inside the castle, she realized she was in desperate need of a bath. But it had nothing to do with her sweaty clothes, and everything to do with the oily grin and roaming eyes of Roland Havilliard.

Yeah, I’m sure this guy is totally cool!

We all know that SJM can clearly write very nuanced characters and that this incredibly obvious and cliché character introduction is just here to mislead us and make us think that Roland is a gross douchebag only so Kween Sarah can prove us wrong and develop his character into someone truly heroic! 

Anyway, turns out that Roland is the “lord” of some place called Meah, which doesn’t tell me anything, but whatever. He’s been offered a position on the king’s council, which is suspicious, apparently, because Roland is more interested in getting his dick wet rather than politicking. This is framed as disgusting, even though that’s pretty much exactly what Doriass is. It’s not the first nor the last time SJM makes hypocritical exceptions for her faves.

Doriass introduces Sardines as Lillian. 

They still used her alias whenever she couldn’t avoid running into members of the court, though most everyone knew to some degree that she was not in the palace for administrative nonsense or politics.

So the official story is that a petty jewelry thief became the king’s champion, then?

Holy shit, this world is filled with morons. 

I also love how “administrative nonsense” and “politics” are looked down upon, but when Sardines does her BRILLIANT MIND GAMES, it’s not politics, it’s uuuuh ... Fuck man, I can’t even begin to imagine how SJM’s mind works.

Roland hits on Sardines, and her two daddies really don’t like that.

Chaol smiled—if you could call it that. It was more a flash of teeth.

Have you considered that I don’t care and that this clarification doesn’t matter?

She wouldn’t mind working with him—but not in the way Roland meant. Her way would include a dagger, a shovel, and an unmarked grave.

Actually, her way would include a corpse, a staged murder scene, and the hope that he stays hidden and nobody recognizes him for who he is. 

Eat my entire ass, Sarah.

We switch to Doriass’ POV.

Chaol positively hated Roland, and whenever he came up in conversation, it was usually accompanied by phrases like “conniving wretch” and “sniveling, spoiled ass.”

So Sardines and Doriass, respectively, though “conniving” might be overstating it.

Roland was a pain in the ass, and too aware of the effect his looks and his Havilliard name had on women, but he was harmless. Wasn’t he? 

Dorian didn’t know the answer—and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to.

SJM: Subtlety? I don’t know her.

We switch back to Sardines’ POV.

Her salary as King’s Champion was considerable, and Celaena spent every last copper of it. Shoes, hats, tunics, dresses, jewelry, weapons, baubles for her hair, and books. Books and books and books.

Books? She likes reading? How relatable? You like reading too, don’t you, young female reader who is the target demographic for this book? Don’t you feel connected to Sardines on a deep, meaningful level? 

You see, when other women dress nice, they’re whores and idiots and brainless. When Sardines does it, she’s just embracing her femininity! 

Ain’t that right, White Feminism?

Whatever. Doriass is there in her room/s when she returns, which she doesn’t approve of.

“Aren’t friends allowed to visit each other more than once a day?” 

She stared down at him. Being friends with Dorian wasn’t something she was certain she could actually do.

Seems like SJM has been taking writing lessons from Cakeass. 

Didn’t you spend an entire book angsting about how you couldn’t be friends with Doriass and then deciding that you would rather stay friends than be lovers? And now you’re back on square one? Are we really doing this again?

I’m so tired.

“And you have so much time on your hands these days that you can spend hours with me again?” 

“Well, I have my usual flock of ladies to attend to, but I can always make time for you.”

Dorian is written as a player, but whenever we see him interact with women who are not Sardines, he’s shitty and hateful towards them. But it’s okay though, right? Because those dumb sluts are worthless and stupid, not amazing and brilliant like Sardines! It’s okay that Dorian clearly doesn’t respect any other woman aside from Sardines (and presumably Nehemia, since SJM has bestowed her godly blessing upon her for now), because those other women are simply not worthy of any respect! 

And obviously, even though Dorian clearly wants Sardines but plays around with other women, that’s totally fine! Women checking out men though? That’s disgusting.

SARAH J MAAS IS A FEMANAST KWAAAN!

Doriass makes it clear he still wants to tap that, but Sardines tells him to fuck off.

Alone in the foyer, Celaena clenched and unclenched her fists, suddenly disgusted with all of the pretty packages on the table.

Eat my entire ass.

[jawsandbones]

Sanctuary - Final Part

Previous Chapter

Chapter: Part 3 (Final)

Rating: E

Pairing: Fenris/Female Hawke/Sebastian

AO3 Link: Click Here

Those who oppose them learn what it is to fear. Men in the front, with their shields and their spears, knuckles white at the approaching army. Is the demon among them? They aren’t sure yet. They crash into each other, a cacophony of noise and metal and their eyes flit from warrior to warrior. The whisper passes through the rank. The Champion. The only mage on the battlefield. She clears a path, sending soldiers flying with a wave of her hand. A storm of electricity, an inferno that rages. Their own soldiers laugh with her at their side. And those who oppose them fear, those who oppose them die, those who oppose them run. It takes only a few of these battles before the surrender comes first.

They know what it is to fear during negotiations. The quick-tongued silver elf with the dry wit and cunning mind. They sit opposite the table and sweat, kneading their grubby hands together as he measures them up – finds them unworthy. He cuts deepest into things they thought no one else would know, finds their weaknesses. Deadly silence mixed with few piercing words. Allies are secured swiftly and easily. Starkhaven is learning exactly which side is the winning one. The true King comes.

Hawke laughs as she ties her hair back, mud underneath her boots, different fires roaring. She sits with the soldiers long into the night, sharing stories, drink and food. Sebastian has entrusted her with leading his armies while he and Fenris fight a more political war. She’d never had the patience for politics. The only thing she found difficult was the split. Sebastian and Fenris travelled together. She was alone. Her tent stayed cold, although many a soldier had offered to take her to their bed. Instead she counts down the days to when their paths would cross next.

She goes where she is directed by breathless runners. They take estate after estate, castle after castle. Most allow them passage through, greet the Champion at the gates. They bow and they make platitudes, offering food and shelter. Battle is where Hawke truly shines. Battle is where she can lose herself, staff twirling in one hand, magic in the fist of the other. She pretends she doesn’t hear the whispers about the King’s pet mage bitch. She pretends she doesn’t hear the accusations that a ruined Kirkwall is her fault alone. Being alone is harder than she thought it might be.

The next runner brings an invitation. A gathering of their forces, finally linking together to take the fight to the royal palace and the pretender upon the throne. She holds the parchment in her hands, hides the smile by biting her bottom lip. Her heart hammers quickly in her chest as she dismisses the runner. Alone in her tent she stamps her feet and laughs, pressing the letter to her chest. The letter had been sealed for her eyes alone. Two signatures at the bottom.

Starkhaven is greener than Kirkwall, lush green hills, rolling pastures. The horse shifts below Hawke as she waits, squinting underneath the bright sun, and the breeze in her hair. At last, she sees them. A small party of riders, his crown glinting in sunlight. She rides out to meet them, reigns tight in her hands. “My King,” she says, “your army awaits you.” Sebastian smiles, Fenris trotting up beside her. Too many whispers in Sebastian’s inner circle of needing a wife, an heir, for them to greet each other the way they wish. That comes later.

Hawke leads the way as Sebastian makes his way down the rank and file, each and every soldier bowing their heads to their King. Fenris stays close by, saying nothing, not looking at the soldiers. He keeps his eyes on their backs, the ease in which Hawke sits, the stiff line of Sebastian. In the King’s tent, Hawke and Fenris flank him. Advisors are chattering on the other side, moving ivory pieces around a marked map. “If we can secure the support of the MacCallan’s, we’ll be cutting off every route to the palace,” one is saying.

“The MacCallan’s have cast their support with Goran from the first. They were likely one of the first to prop him up!”

“They’ll see the tides changing. We need only have the entrance into the city, secure the throne and deal with the traitors afterwards!” Sebastian is rubbing the space between his brows, listening to them argue. Hawke has her arms crossed, biting at the skin around her thumb. Fenris is the only one who seems to be listening intently, leaning on the table, frowning at the map.

“We need to secure allies from outside of Starkhaven. An unbreakable alliance. My lord, you need to take a wife as soon as possible.” The advisor narrows his eyes at Hawke. “A wife of proper breeding and noble blood,” he says. At that Fenris looks up, from the advisor straight to Hawke. She wants to laugh. Proper breeding, as though she were a dog. She looks at the ambassador and the smirk that she wears does not reach her eyes. Sebastian raises his hand.

“That’s enough for today. We’ll discuss the assault on the palace tomorrow,” Sebastian dismisses them in a casual tone. The group of them look appalled, as though they wish to protest. Instead they stiffen, they bow, and they obey their king’s command and leave the tent. Hawke’s head immediately falls to Sebastian’s shoulder as she sighs.

“They’re not wrong,” she says to the floor, “it would strengthen your position. You’re the last of the Vael’s. You need –”

“I need you,��� Sebastian says. “I need you both.” He shifts, catching her face in his hands, tilting her face to look at him. His smile is warm, his eyes bright and she softens into him. Arms winding around his shoulders, standing on her toes to plant a desperate kiss. Then she pulls away and punches Sebastian in the chest. A light thing, a playful thing.

“It’s been weeks since I’ve seen you and the first thing you do is drag me into a damn war council!” Fenris covers his mouth as he laughs, rounds the table to stand on Hawke’s other side. It takes one finger on her chin to turn her face towards his, capture her lips in a kiss.

“We missed you as well Hawke,” he says. She fakes a pout before she laughs, swallowing Fenris in a hug, squeezing him tightly. Despite her earlier protest, they stand around that table for hours longer. Hawke, completely bent over with her elbows on the table, her chin in her hands, frowning as Fenris outlines their current situation.

“We have the advantage in numbers, but they hold the advantage in the city. Goran, or those puppeteering him, have shown they are willing to use civilians to cage us,” Fenris says.

“The trebuchets will knock down the pretty walls of the castle you want to take, along with killing countless innocents. They’re trapped inside the city. They’ll lock their doors and stay inside, die to things they can’t see. They have the advantage of walls, so if we use the ladders it will be bloody. We have the numbers now, but we’ll lose many in this fight,” Hawke says. Sebastian rubs his chin, frowns at the map.

“There is another way.” She says it quietly as she stands up straight. “Send a small force inside the castle. If there is no puppet, the rest will fall apart.” Sebastian and Fenris both share a glance.

“It is the less bloody option. It is also the less honorable,” Fenris says. “We would also need to find a route inside the city and the castle without attracting attention. We also need to consider what damage such a tactic would do to –”

“No,” Sebastian says, “we’re not doing that.”

“Why not? It’s not as though they haven’t done the same. The Flint Mercenaries? How many Crows have they sent to kill you?” Hawke demands.

“Three, so far,” Fenris answers instantly.

“Or at least three that have made themselves known. We’ve also made allies of former enemies. We may hold some loyalty for now, but it’s not a given. We’re in a precarious position where we might need to say fuck honor and end this quickly,” Hawke says.

“We are not them. I will not play their games. If we do this, we do it the right way,” Sebastian says. Hawke shifts on her feet, sighs, before shrugging.

“We’d need ships to blockade the Minanter River, and then we could starve the city. They’d surrender quickly if they had no food,” Fenris says.

“There are plenty of stores within the city. The general populace would starve. The nobles would not,” Sebastian says.

“Which would incite riots that would further destabilize the city,” Hawke says. “The MacCallan’s are the last of these guessed traitors that linger outside the city. They know that even if they side with us, there is no guarantee they survive your ascension. We should take the castle by force, get it over with, which would give us a good hold over the region. Maybe give us a path to smuggle food inside the city for those we want to give to. It would also gain us citizen support.”

“The MacCallan territory is fields and crops. I will not have it burnt to the ground for the sake of a castle.”

“You’re not giving us many options,” Fenris says, “I know you wish to do the right thing, but this is war. Sacrifice is inevitable.” Hawke reaches across the table, takes Sebastian’s hand in hers. The guilt pounds heavily at her chest. If not for Kirkwall, if not for her, Sebastian would never have been in this position. She knows what a good man he is. Forcing him into this… he squeezes her hand and gives her a smile.

“Then we’ll take the MacCallan castle. We’ll move on the royal palace shortly after,” Sebastian says as Hawke moves around the table, settling herself in between the two of them. Ivory figures go rolling as she sweeps the table with an arm. She hops up onto the table, her hands fisting in Sebastian’s tunic, pulling him forward, her legs around his waist.

“Something for the morning,” she says, “show me how much you’ve missed me.” As she kisses Sebastian, Fenris begins to undo the buttons on her shirt. He slips a hand inside, groans as his hand finds her breast. One of Hawke’s hands slips from Sebastian’s chest to Fenris, palming his cock through his breeches, feeling his length already beginning to harden. Sebastian pauses in the kiss, pulls away as the shouting from outside draws nearer.

“Champion! Hawke! My Lady!” Hawke groans as she buttons her shirt back up, hopping off the table just in time as a panting soldier bursts into the tent.

“This had better be fucking important,” she growls, bristling at her second in command.

“Forces have ridden outside of the city. They march on the encampment!” He says, standing straight as he catches his breath. Hawke immediately barks out a short laugh.

“What? That’s bloody stupid of them.” Then she goes silent, frowning, crossing her arms, fingers tapping as she thinks. Why leave the city and the safety of walls? “Something else is going on,” she murmurs.

“Angus. Assemble a few hundred of the men. We’ll be taking the ladders and assaulting the city directly. Fenris. Take the rest of the troops and meet these forces on the field. Keep Sebastian in sight with you at all times,” Hawke is saying as she pulls on pieces of her armor, hopping around as she shoves her foot into a boot. Angus is looking between all three before Hawke stands, hands on her hips. “Now, Angus!” He’s off at a breakneck speed.

“They’ll need light to see. Set the archers upon them first. It won’t be hard – aim for the fire. Keep our troops in the dark,” Hawke is saying as she reaches for her staff.

“You don’t know what waits inside the city,” Sebastian says, shaking his head.

“Which is why you and Fenris will stay on the field. A battle is simple. Do not come inside the city until I find you, understand?”

“I don’t like this,” Fenris says, stepping into agreement with Sebastian.

“This solves our problems. Meet the last of the resistance, beat them down until they surrender. I’ll find Goran – I won’t kill him – and you can decide what to do with him later. Just… let me clear the city. Be safe,” Hawke gives them both swift kisses on the cheek before she’s gone, racing after Angus.

Her hair’s been getting long. There hasn’t been time to cut it. It streams out behind her as she runs, soldiers falling into formation around her. The camp begins to split into two halves as orders are given out. As she runs, she can see the lights cresting the hill. Fenris would be a terror on the field. They’d learn what he can do when negotiations fail. She almost laughs.

Angus beside her, they race towards the city. They carry ladders on their backs, hooks affixed to every section. The defense of the walls is meagre. Breath becomes visible in the air as Hawke focuses on the few archers firing down upon them. Shields are raised, arrows bouncing off metal as they find their mark. The archers would be shivering now, their aim unsteady, the stone icy. This far away, she could do no more.

One by one the ladders go up, finding purchase upon the walls. Soldiers begin to climb immediately. Archers and Hawke keep an eye on the battlements, take down those who try to dislodge the ladders. It takes only a few soldiers to cement their hold, allow the rest to climb upwards. “Sweep the battlements,” Hawke says, “find the rest.” A wave of unease washes over her. There should be more, there should be more. Why leave the city defenseless?

Their troops surround the city and the MacCallan estate. The mountains would bar any escape they could not cover. Advantage in numbers… they’d need to pull every soldier they had to try and break through Sebastian’s line. Hawke is biting her bottom lip as she runs again, Angus and a few others at her side, down the walls and through the streets. The palace sits by the banks of the Minanter, a marvel of marble.

The streets are empty, people inside their homes with the doors barred. Whatever is happening, they want no part of it. Soldiers fight soldiers, and Sebastian had long ago proven that he would keep the civilians safe. The braziers of the palace are lit, although their footsteps empty in the hall. “What way to the main hall?” Hawke asks. Angus immediately points and off they go. They find the door barred from the outside.

Hawke is frowning as she reaches out, clenches her hand into a fist. In her mind’s eye, she is reaching for the wood planks nailed across the door. She grabs a tight hold, begins to pull. One by one, the planks fly off, leaving the door exposed, allowing them to push it open. They’re greeted by sobbing servants, shouting and yelling, thanking the soldiers briefly as they run out of the hall. At the end of the hall sits Goran, tied to his throne. The crown sits upon his head.

“Champion,” he greets her as she makes her way down the hall. “So nice to finally meet you.”

“Where are your masters?” Hawke asks.

“Left me to die. They fight with the rest of the army, I imagine, to get as far away from the city as possible,” Goran tells her.

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone knows the Champion of Kirkwall fights at Sebastian’s side. Leads his forces. What a scandal it will be when the same explosion that took the Kirkwall chantry takes the Starkhaven palace. I wonder how many would support a King willing to go to such lengths. Allowing a terrorist such as yourself to run wild,” Goran smiles. Little grease of a man. Hawke snarls as she makes her way up the dais, snatches the crown from his head. “You’re lucky I have no wish to die. There are three bombs inside the palace, although I’m not sure where they are.”

“Leave him there,” Hawke waves Angus away from the throne, and he sheathes the knife back into his belt. “We split into three groups. Find the bombs. When you find one, remove the drakestone, and then help the others find the rest. Understood?” Their eyes have dark circles underneath them. Their nods are hollow, sweat beading on their brows. All understand that if they fail, more than just the false king would die.

Just as Hawke had told him, Fenris keeps Sebastian in sight at all times. He had insisted on fighting with his soldiers, wearing that damnably white armor of his, bow in his hands. He lets fly arrow after arrow, through the air, finding their mark either against flesh or metal. The generals are easy to spot. They wear armor more ornate, feathered and jeweled. The order has gone out to find them, capture them.

Fenris weaves around soldiers, slicing down any who draw too near to Sebastian. The beat of the battle is in their favor, in their numbers and the advantage of territory. Those who fight them, fight hard, with a sense of desperation. It only makes Fenris more wary of what could be going on inside the city. Lyrium ignites, a glowing blur that tears through man after man, sword biting into armor. The surrenders do not take long.

“MacCallan. Cowan. Lennox.” Helmets pulled off one by one, the three generals on the field. The puppet masters. If they had not already been dealt with, Sebastian had no doubt he would have found one of the Harimann’s here today. “Where is Goran?” Just like in Kirkwall, they hear it first. The rumble that’s almost gentle. Stones shaking upon the ground. It’s silent, before it happens. The grass shifts, the air turns. A single red beam that goes up, begins to blink, muted before it is snuffed out. Then the explosion rocks one section of the palace.  

Fenris is moving instantly, racing down the field towards the gates of the city. Sebastian stalks forward towards the three. “What have you done?” His voice is cold, as icy as Hawke’s magic.

“Failed, apparently,” Lennox says. His voice is almost bored. “There were supposed to be three. And the explosion was meant to be much more spectacular than that.” Fenris is barking orders at soldiers. Those who are not guarding the prisoners go with him, through the gates, through the streets. Towards the section of palace that is smoking ruin.

One of the back wings, a small section by any means. A single wall that has caved in, a hole torn through the ceiling. In the center lies a perfect circle of rubble. The soldiers work quickly, pulling off stone after stone, revealing the flickering barrier. Hawke at its center, bloodied and tired, relieved as the barrier goes down. Angus and her other soldiers unharmed, keeping her standing. She collapses in Fenris’s arms with a smile.

“Sorry,” she murmurs, “I wasn’t fast enough to stop it completely. Knew you’d find me.” Half of her is singed, burnt. Silver metal that once shined is now blackened and ashy. Her hair is no longer so long. The crown is still in her hands. Fenris holds her tight in his arms, carries her away from the rubble.

She wakes in a bed softer than anything she’s slept in for the past few weeks. Her hands immediately go to her face, to her arms, trying to find the burns and failing. Healed. She sits up, wearing a light shift, struggles to make sense of the situation. Fenris is at her side as soon as he sees she is awake, sitting on the side of the bed, frowning as he takes her face in his hands. “I thought… we’d lost you,” Fenris says, squeezing his eyes closed. Their foreheads press against each other as Hawke clings to him.

“There was a moment… Is everyone safe? Angus? The others?”

“Yes, they’re safe. Sebastian is with the judges. The trial against Goran and the others is happening now,” Fenris says.

“Shouldn’t you be there?”

“We both wanted to stay with you,” Fenris says softly, thumbs brushing against her cheekbones. “They needed the King. You needed me.” Fenris pulls open the blankets as Hawke lies back down, Fenris beside her.

“You frightened me. Do not do anything like that again,” he scolds. She laughs softly, her nose brushing against his. He stretches out over her, closing his eyes as he sighs, feeling her hands underneath his tunic. Elbows on the bed, he touches at the shortened locks of Hawke’s hair. Uneven and choppy, he’d need to fix it for her later. Her face tilts upwards as fingertips find his shoulder blades.

Her hand splays out as she pulls him down closer, flattening him against her. “I thought I wouldn’t make it in time,” she whispers. “It was meant to look like the Chantry explosion. It was meant to look like it was me - that I -” She takes deep shuddering breath.  “It started to spark when I found it. I could barely think, the flames were…” She breaks off into silence.

“You are unharmed,” he presses a kiss to her cheek. “You are safe and Starkhaven is ours. You will always be safe.” He plants kisses down her jaw, her neck. She keeps him tight against her even as his lips find hers, a hand threading through his hair as his mouth opens to her, tongue wet and warm. They take their time with it, lingering in long kisses, slow and easy, hands sweeping over the other. Safe, safe, safe. An affirmation that she is unscathed, unburnt, Fenris’s hand moving over her thigh, pushing up her shift.

Her hands quickly move to his lacings, shifting beneath him. They rock slowly together, Hawke’s legs locked around his waist. Her hands are still travelling on his back, feeling the way his muscles move, the shift of his shoulders. She follows his spine, all the way down, her feet pressing against him. His head is on the pillow beside hers, his arms underneath her. He listens to her breathe against him, those deep inhales, and the quick exhales. Safe.

She squeezes her eyes closed, her mouth against his shoulder, hands shaking into fists. “Hawke,” in that low voice of his, heady and carnal, as though her name were a prayer. “Hawke.” He groans as she tightens, her breathing coming quicker, her leg shaking against him. “Hawke.” She can still feel the blinding heat. That flash of brilliant light. The moment when she thought she’d never see them again. The desperation in the barrier as she screamed, flames licking up the side of her.

Fenris’s hand replaces that imaginary heat on her cheek, kissing her forehead as his hips roll against hers. Blue eyes water, but he chases the tears away. “Hawke,” he says quietly, “I have you.” Safe. Holding each other tighter, closer, her hands grabbing a bunch of his shirt, heels of her feet pressing against him, encouraging him deeper inside.

“Fen,” a peaceful murmur, feeling him and only him, filling her up, spilling his seed.

Hawke is plainly amused, her legs crossed, an elbow on the armrest. Her chin against her fist, smiling as she watches the advisors batter at Sebastian. “We’ll need to make repairs to the damaged portion of the palace, as well as take stock of food,” one is saying.

“The trade routes need to be better protected. There have been reports of bandits in the area.”

“If you would take a wife and produced and heir there would be less concern of-” It’s the same thing every day. The same arguments circling about one another, each advisor shouting over the other. She and Fenris share a look from across the table, hiding their grins as they look at Sebastian. He sighs, rubbing his forehead, the crown sitting neatly upon his head. MacCallan, Cowan, Lennox and Goran have all been executed some days past. The people have accepted and rejoiced at the return of the true Vael.

“Enough!” Sebastian’s fist crashes against the table, silencing all the useless noise. “You. Charter a mason to see to the repairs of the palace. You. Take as many servants as you need, ensure the food stores are filled. You. Gather a few men from the army, have them patrol the trade routes.”

“There is still the matter of a wife, my King.” Hawke’s eyebrows raise. Bold man. He sits opposite Sebastian, his look dark, his hands clasped. She makes a face at Fenris, and he turns away to hide his smile. “You cannot marry the Champion.” All playfulness gone, her eyes narrow as she turns to look at this advisor. “She has run from Ferelden. All of Kirkwall has seen her ‘care’. Now the Chantry hunts for her. We cannot harbor such a criminal here, let alone let our King take her for a wife.”

“Who I marry is my decision, not yours,” Sebastian says coolly.

“You cannot marry a Ferelden dog of low birth!”

“Oh, my grandfather surely would have loved to hear you say that,” Hawke says, tapping her fingers against her chin. “He’s probably rolling in his grave right now.”

“She is the Lady Amell and all of Kirkwall knows what she has done, how she has kept the city safe. She was not made Champion lightly. Have you forgotten that I was there with her? Have you forgotten how many victories she brought us? How she captured the palace? Saved lives by diffusing the bombs that were planted, at the risk of her own life?” Sebastian has his arms crossed as he speaks.

“The rumors-”

“Are rumors. There will be no more talk of this,” Sebastian ends the conversation with firm words, dismissing them with a wave. Fenris and Hawke both stay seated, watching the others leave.

“The more you favor us, the more they’ll resent you,” Fenris says. “From now on, we won’t be attending these meetings.” Hawke sighs as she runs a hand through her hair. Fenris had cut it evenly for her, cropped close to her head. She still kept those wild bangs of hers, tucking a particularly long piece behind her ear.

“He’s right Sebastian. You should look at these… marriage suggestions as well,” Hawke says. She and Fenris are wearing identical frowns, not looking at him, knitting their hands together.

“If I can’t marry you, I’ll marry Fenris. I’m sure they’d love that,” Sebastian says as he sulks in his chair. Hawke smiles, leans forward to pat Sebastian’s hand.

“Give it time. We need distance from Kirkwall. You’ve only just become King. People are still accepting that.” Her thumb brushes over his knuckles as she speaks. “With the mages and the Templars at war, Kirkwall being where it started…” her hand falls back to her lap. “Time. The war will end.” She pushes herself up from the chair, knocks her knuckles against the table as she leaves.

Fenris turns to Sebastian as the door closes behind her. “She’s right. Attention will shift elsewhere. Be patient, and all will come together.”

“You would make a better King than me,” Sebastian says. “I don’t know how to rule. How to manage all of these hens clucking at me.”

“You’ll learn. You will be an excellent King,” Fenris says as he stands, his hand at the back of Sebastian’s chair as he leans over, kisses him.

“I’m better at following orders than giving them,” Sebastian mutters.

“Are you?” Fenris smirks. “Get on your knees.” Sebastian drops instantly, the chair pushing out behind him. Fenris looks down at him, runs a hand through muddy red hair, taking the crown from his head. He places it on his own, gold nesting in silver. He tilts his head back, closing his eyes as Sebastian moves his fingers to undo Fenris’s lacings. The hand in Sebastian’s hair tightens at the first tease of his tongue, the wet running the underside of his hardening cock. Fenris casts his gaze downwards once again as Sebastian takes him in completely, lips glistening with spit. His eyes are closed, his cheeks flushed, mouth full of his cock.

“What would your advisors think,” Fenris says as he tucks a curl in its proper place, “to see you like this? On your knees before an elf.” Sebastian’s eyes open, that piercing blue that strikes like lightning down Fenris’s spine. His hands grip the back of Fenris’s thighs, tongue dabbing at the salt that beads, cheeks hollowing as he sucks. Fenris groans, his back hunching, a hand tight on Sebastian’s shoulder. He leans himself harder against the table, the wood biting into his ass, to keep himself from thrusting forward, from shoving himself even further down Sebastian’s throat.

Sebastian works at him with a vengeance, payment for Fenris’s words. His tongue swirls around the head of his cock, one hand cupping his balls and rolling them gently in his hand. He’s pulling down Fenris’s pants even further, gripping his ass, pressing a finger against his asshole. “Ven-venhe…dis,” the word is broken and cracked in Fenris’s mouth, and for a moment, Sebastian smirks. It’s in every movement, each squeeze, each touch, each wet line – the command, the order. Come. Fenris has no choice but to obey.

Sebastian rises to his feet, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He wears a triumphant smile as he leans in and kisses Fenris, allowing him to taste the salt of himself. “I would do anything you asked of me, Fenris. Advisors be damned,” he says. Fenris surges forward, arms around Sebastian’s neck, burying the other man in kisses. Sebastian laughs as he wraps his arms around Fenris, all hard muscle and pleasing lines, a warmth like no other.

Sebastian helps tug his pants back over his hips, humming as he ties the knot on the laces. Fenris watches him with a smile, gently placing the crown back atop his head. “It looks good on you. Make sure it stays there,” Fenris tells him. “Marry Hawke. They already call her a demon. Imagine her by your side as your Queen. Enemies would fear you, your allies would be more willing to do as you ask.”

“With the lyrium ghost by our side,” Sebastian tells him, a hand against the back of his neck, his lips against Fenris’s temple. “Fenris you will always be our equal. We need you.” Fenris closes his eyes and looks away.

“If Hawke bears a child and it…” he runs a finger down the length of his nose, against the tip of his ears.

“Then I will love it all the more,” Sebastian says.

“You need an undeniable heir. It needs to be undeniably yours.”

“They will be,” Sebastian takes Fenris’s face in his hands. “Fenris, I will love any child of ours. All of them.”

“All? That you will have to negotiate with Hawke. I do not envy that discussion.” Sebastian throws back his head and laughs, taking Fenris by the hand as he moves to leave. Sebastian goes to his room first, Hawke and Fenris slip in past the guards after. They’re always gone before morning. Hawke comes to the room laughing, holding something above her head.

“He published a book,” Hawke is laughing, “The Tale of the Champion.” She leaps into the bed, resting against Sebastian. He eases his arm around her shoulders, his head knocking against hers. Fenris is on the other side of Sebastian, his hands underneath his head, his eyes closed. She’s still laughing as she flips through the pages. “He actually did it. Varric, you dog.” Her hands shake on the last page, over the last few words.

We vanished into the hills, and circumstance eventually forced us all to leave the Champion’s side. Well… all of us except for Fenris and Sebastian.

“Oh. Oh.” She flips back to the beginning of the book, pulling up her knees, beginning to read. It’s all there, from Bethany to Carver, finding Kirkwall. Finding a family in Aveline, in Varric, in Isabela, in Merrill and in Anders. In Fenris. In Sebastian. Varric skims the details of her love life, attributes Fenris and Sebastian staying with her out of something akin to undying loyalty. Little do they know.

She looks over as she presses the book to her chest, biting her bottom lip. Sebastian and Fenris are both lying on their sides, with Sebastian curled around the elf. He holds Fenris to his chest, his face in white hair. They’re both sleeping peacefully, Fenris’s fingers twitching in dreaming on Sebastian’s arm. Her hands splay out over the cover of the book. The truth. Written down. Kirkwall wasn’t her fault. The Chantry wasn’t her fault. She places the book on the nightstand, huddles against Sebastian’s back, throwing her arm over the both of them.

Fenris wakes first, as he always does. Eyelids heavy with sleep, struggling to open. The first rays of sun have begun to stream through the curtains, casting light over the bed. They’re all tangled together, a sea of limbs, groaning as Fenris struggles to free himself. Feet touch ground, and Hawke buries herself even closer to Sebastian, making noises of protest as she curls her arms around him. Fenris picks up the book from the nightstand, smiles at the dog-ears Hawke has made on specific pages.

He throws back the covers to the saddened moans of both Hawke and Sebastian. “You are a cruel man,” Sebastian tells him as Hawke stretches out, legs as far as they can go, arms above her head, face scrunched together.

“Apologies, my King,” Fenris teases, “but it’s time your harem absconded from your bed.” Hawke, in the midst of beginning to rise, falls back in peals of laughter. Sebastian kneels on the bed, wraps his arms around Fenris’s neck. He nibbles at the lobe of Fenris’s ear, his tongue tracing the shell of it, suckling at the tip.

“Stay,” he breathes in Fenris’s ear, smiling against his cheek. His cheeks have gone red, his breathing heavy. Sebastian knows exactly what doing that does to him. He does it again, tongue against his sensitive ear, fingers massaging the tip of the other. Sebastian smirks as he leans down on the bed, his legs wrapping around Fenris’s waist, a hand against his own hardening cock. Fenris licks his lips as he watches Sebastian stroke himself, expert twists, a tight grip, teasing out that first bead of pre-cum.

“Fuck me,” Sebastian says. Fenris needs no more encouragement. Hawke is quick to move to the nightstand, pulling open the drawer and tossing the vial of oil to Fenris. Then she leans back amongst the pillows, back against the headstand, knees up and legs spread, touching herself as Fenris begins to touch Sebastian.

He pops off the top of the vial, coats his fingers in slickness. Sebastian is still stroking at himself, thumb and forefinger, running down the line of his cock. He’s leaking freely now, as Fenris presses fingers against his hole, massaging against it. Fenris is hard from watching them both, his eyes drifting over Sebastian to Hawke. She watches eagerly, a finger swirling around her clit, dipping into her cunt. The wet clings to her, just as the oil clings to him. He follows Hawke’s rhythm in Sebastian, a finger that pumps in and out.

They take their time with it, one finger then two. Sebastian is panting at the third, his legs twitching against Fenris. With the last of the oil, Fenris covers his own cock. Hawke lets out a breathy moan as she watches Fenris press himself against Sebastian, his cock sinking inside him all the way to the hilt. Her fingers begin to move faster just as Fenris begins to move.

His feet are firmly planted on the floor, his hands bruising into Sebastian’s hips as he slams into him again and again. Sebastian’s hands wind in the bedsheets, his cock leaking onto his belly as Fenris thrusts inside him. Hawke rises from where she’s sitting, moves over to kneel over Sebastian. His hands cling to her thighs, his tongue moving upwards, dipping into the sweet wetness of her cunt.

She groans, her eyes closing, leaning over Sebastian towards Fenris. He moves forward, captures her lips in a kiss. One of Hawke’s hands finds its way to Fenris’s shoulder, grinding her cunt against Sebastian’s face. “Please, please, please.” Hawke always babbles as she nears the edge.

“Lie on your stomach,” Fenris tells her. She does as he asks, her legs moving together, keeping friction against her. She watches with eyes half-lidded as Fenris pulls away from Sebastian. “Go to her,” Fenris tells him. Sebastian is crawling over Hawke hungrily, pulling up her hips, ramming himself inside to the hilt. Fenris positions himself behind Sebastian, pushing down on his back, pressing Sebastian and Hawke tightly together. Only then does he resume fucking Sebastian.

Hawke’s feet curl around them, find a hook over Sebastian’s legs. Her fists clench in the bedsheets, her moans stifled into the pillow. Fenris runs a hand down Sebastian’s back, a worshipping touch, throwing his head back as his tempo increases, skin slapping against skin without mercy. His hands spasm on Sebastian’s hips, teeth grinding together as he cums.

He rolls to the side of the bed, watches as Sebastian finishes Hawke, her mouth open and eyes closed, silence as she comes. She lets go of her breath, pants heavily as Sebastian rests his head against hers, one final jet of his hips. “Maker’s breath,” Sebastian murmurs as he lies on the bed. Hawke smiles, still trying to catch her runaway pulse, hugging the pillow beneath her. “We should start every day like this.”

Fenris laughs, runs a hand through his hair, before turning to look at him. A hand drifts across Sebastian’s chest. “We should go. This is a scandal you do not want.” Sebastian closes his eyes, chuckles. When he opens them again, he looks directly at Fenris.

“I thought I’d proven to you already that this is exactly what I want.” Fenris leans over, kisses his forehead, before he slips from the bed. After a quick cleaning, Fenris and Hawke make their hasty escape to their own rooms, leaving Sebastian. He sinks into a bath, sighing in the warm water, smiling to himself.

They find each other next in full armor, Fenris having adopted the Starkhaven insignia. His hair had gotten longer, and Fenris had taken to tying it back into a neat ponytail. White locks still drifted, framed his face, and Sebastian resisted the urge to tuck a lock behind his ear. Fenris makes a short bow when he sees him, the warm smile coming afterwards. It’s a brief thing, meant for Sebastian’s eyes only.

“They want you inspecting the battlements today,” Fenris tells Sebastian as they walk. The dreaded ‘they’ being the advisors. “They believe that an active participation in the defense of Starkhaven will bolster the army’s confidence in you. Not that I think this is necessary.”

“Noted,” Sebastian chuckles. Sebastian’s armor has been shined and polished, and he makes a bright figure against all the grey. White and shining, crown upon his head. Fenris walks a few paces behind Sebastian as he talks with the guards they encounter. His hands clasped behind his back, a relaxed smile on his face. Those he talked to were quickly charmed. Sebastian was easy to love.

Sebastian turns his face to the wind, closes his eyes and smiles as he breathes deeply. Starkhaven is berries and lilies, a soft scent much different than Kirkwall. He’s still having trouble believing it himself. He’s home. He’s the King of Starkhaven. He has the two people he loves the most with him. He’s still as he drinks it in, his eyes still closed. He doesn’t see the arrow. Fenris does. Fenris shouts. Fenris moves too late.

One. Two. The sound they make as arrows pierce armor, bury into flesh makes Fenris want to throw up. He slides to his knees, cradles Sebastian’s head in his lap. He’s screaming orders at guards, pointing them in the direction of the attacks. “Get a healer! Find Hawke!” He orders at others. His hand shakes as it moves downwards, pressing over Sebastian’s belly, pushing against the wound.

Blood spills between his fingers, and Sebastian isn’t moving. “Sebastian.” The crown has fallen, it lies discarded upon stone. “Sebastian.” Bloody fingers against his cheek. The tears that wipe the blood away. A shadow descends and suddenly Hawke is on her knees beside Sebastian, hands glowing white as she presses them against his belly. She pulls the first arrow, and then the second, throwing them to the side. “Sebastian,” Fenris is still saying his name, in a trance, waiting for his eyes to open.

More mages at Hawke’s side, healers and guards. A veritable crowd that separates Fenris from Sebastian. He makes an angry murmur as they pull him away. Hawke’s hand wraps around Fenris’s arm, pulls him to his feet. “We caught him,” she says as she drags him away. Fenris looks over his shoulder, at the people carrying Sebastian, taking him to shelter.

“We can’t leave him,” Fenris says as he plants his feet, holds his ground.

“I - I never really learned. My healing is,” she frowns, clenching a bloodstained hand into a fist. “I know how to kill. Both of us do. We’d only be in the way.”

“We can’t leave him,” Fenris says again, shaking his head. Hawke’s shoulders slump, closing the distance between them. Her arms wrap around him, taking a deep shuddering breath. Fenris is slow to return it, planting bloody handprints upon her back.

“He’ll be okay,” she says in a way that tells Fenris she’s trying to convince herself. Only then does Fenris tighten his hold, squeeze her tighter.

“I should have been faster. I knew this was a bad idea, I should have told them, I should have made them listen to me,” Fenris says, his words half buried in her shoulder. “This walk was foolish. Too in the open. Too unguarded.” He pulls himself away from Hawke, the shadow descending over his brow, settling in the hard line of his mouth.

“Where?” He snarls. The anger blossomed, Hawke nods, turns, and guides him to the lower dungeons.

Guards surround a man on his knees, his head bowed and his hands tied behind his backs. They snap to attention as Hawke and Fenris enter. Veterans of the army, they address Hawke first. “He hasn’t spoken. He won’t respond to any of us,” they say. Hawke kneels down before the man, tilts his face upwards towards her with a finger.

“Demon,” he spits at her.

“Who sent you?” He clenches his jaw shut and does not speak. Hawke sighs, stands, moves out of Fenris’s way. He snarls as he lights the lyrium, a hand crushing on the man’s shoulder, the other worming its way inside his chest. The man gasps in panic as he looks at the hand inside his chest, fingers around his heart.

“Who sent you?” Hawke asks.

“The Crows,” the man yells in a panic.

“Who paid for you?”

“A lord named Lennox. If they failed with the palace - I was to kill the King.”

“One final act out of spite,” Hawke spits. “Are there more of you? More Crows paid to kill the King?”

“N-no. There are four paid for you, Champion.” Hawke’s back stiffens, goes straight, and Fenris looks at her, anger giving way to concern. Four. Four Crows. Who sends four Crows? The book. She let Anders go. She let him walk free, without a true punishment. Now everyone knows. If they couldn’t punish the mages, if they couldn’t punish Anders, they would punish Hawke.

“When? When are they supposed to come?”

“I don’t know! I just know that they are coming!” At that, Fenris flicks his wrist, pulls the heart from the man's chest. He lives just long enough to see it still beat in his palm. Then his eyes roll, and he slumps lifelessly to the ground.

“Stay here,” Fenris immediately orders. He points at the other guards, the heart still in his hand. “Do not let her leave.” They take a collective gulp, begin to nod and agree wholeheartedly. He drops the heart to the ground beside the man, leaves the dungeon. Hawke stands there, the frown on her face, her hands shaking.

Fenris takes the stairs by two, running towards Sebastian’s room. Guards flank every corner, every door, crowding outside of the room. “Let me inside,” Fenris growls, his gaze icy and cold. The door opens for him immediately. There are two healers by Sebastian’s bedside. He looks peaceful, his eyes closed, red hair against white pillows. His hands at his sides, tucked neatly underneath blankets.

One of the healer’s looks up when he enters, gasps at Fenris’s blood-soaked appearance. “How is he?” Fenris asks, not daring to approach the bed. The healer swallows her fear in a gulp before she speaks.

“He’ll live, sire. He needs rest.” The relief thunders in Fenris’s heart. He takes the sword from his back, rests it against the wall. Then Fenris joins it, leaning against stone, crossing his arms. The healers exchange a look, accept his presence and return to their work.

Food and drink is brought to them, and Fenris never leaves the room over the next few days. The healer’s, accustomed to his presence, do insist on Fenris taking a bath after the second day. The water runs muddy red with dried blood that had encrusted on Fenris’s skin. He washes quickly, scrubbing hard at himself, before he’s back in his armor and watching over Sebastian.

A guard reports to him daily on Hawke’s status. No sign of the Crows, but she is restless. She keeps herself in the dungeons, her staff always in her hands. Fenris knows that he cannot keep her there for much longer. She’ll want to leave, take matters into her own hands. She’ll get herself killed. Sebastian’s eyes have not yet opened.

On the fifth day, they do. Slowly at first, blinking as if awakening from only a deep sleep. His hands move over his stomach, finds nothing save for bandages. He winces as he sits up, feeling the ache deep inside him. He may be unmarred, the magic thorough, but the pain still lingers. The healer’s leap to their feet immediately. “My King!” That is what gets Fenris’s attention, walking to the end of the bed.

He smiles as he looks at Sebastian. “Welcome back,” he says. Sebastian snorts, shakes his head.

“Tell me what happened.”

Hawke lies in a cot, her hands folded over her belly. She stares at the dank ceiling, the stone that drips with moisture. The dungeons smell like shit. She probably smells the same, now. The rotation has begun, guards replacing guards, and they are all faces she recognizes. Not Crows. Not assassins. Her feet swing over the bed, land on the floor. Hay underneath her feet, dirt and mud. She’s still in her armor. She picks up her staff as she stands.

She makes her way to the bars, leans her head against the metal. “Any news?”

“The King has awoken, my Lady.”

“What? When?”

“Two days ago, I believe.” Her mouth gapes open.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me? I’ve been asking every single day.” The guards face colors.

“We were instructed not to. Until today. You’re to wait until milord Fenris comes to see you.” Hawke pushes herself away from the bars. She paces in the dungeon, her staff dragging behind her. She wears a path in that hay, in the dirt, in the mud, frowning all the while.

Fenris is with Sebastian. They would keep each other safe. The spell is easy enough to weave, no matter how unpracticed she is. The guards slump the ground, sleep overtaking them. She walks over them as she leaves the dungeons.

“Why is almost everything you wear white?” Fenris asks as Sebastian laughs, pulling the tunic over his head. At least his pants are darker in color. Sebastian is still smiling as Fenris does up the buttons, brows furrowed in concentration. He looks up, startled, when Sebastian cups his face, presses a kiss to his forehead. Fenris scowls but the tip of his ears go red.

“You shouldn’t do that when someone could see,” Fenris says.

“I don’t see anyone else here,” Sebastian chuckles as he leans in again, catching Fenris’s lips. He’s resistant at first, but then Sebastian feels the smile and Fenris is kissing back in earnest. Hands that leave his buttons, travel his arms, settling on his back as Fenris dips in towards him. In a kiss, as in all things he does, he does it fiercely. Pulling at Sebastian’s bottom lip, his tongue insistent and searching, hands pressing tightly against him.

He pulls away quickly, back of his hand against his mouth at the knocking at the door. A hurried and panicked noise, Sebastian sighs as he readjusts his shirt. “Come in!” He shouts, and immediately a breathless soldier bursts inside the room.

“She’s gone, my Lord. The Lady Hawke. She’s been seen heading towards the stables,” he gasps out. “Tried to stop her but…” Sebastian is already pushing past him, a hand pressing where it still aches deep inside buried muscle. He races down stairs and corridors, Fenris close behind. They make it in time to see Hawke burst out of the stables on horseback, racing down the streets towards the gate.

“A horse!” Sebastian barks at the startled stable hand, who directs him towards one of the stalls.

“There’s only one prepared serrah,” the stable hand tells Fenris as Sebastian mounts the horse, reins tight in his hands.

“Stay here,” Sebastian tells Fenris, “I’ll be back soon.” He looks like he might argue for a moment, but realizing time is not on their side, swallows it with a frown. Fenris steps back with a nod, watches as Sebastian makes chase after Hawke.

She may have the head start, but Sebastian has the advantage of knowing Starkhaven. He’d never forgotten these streets, the alleys, all the secret ways in and around. He exits the city close behind Hawke, as she dashes through fields of flowers and grass. “Hawke!” She turns at his shout, urges her horse faster. She leads him on a winding chase, over hill and through trees, until Sebastian is finally able to catch her. They ride side by side, but while Sebastian is looking at her, she is looking away.

“Hawke, enough!”

“Go back,” she snaps, jerking the reins, forcing Sebastian to make quick adjustments to stay with her. If she will not stop… He reaches out, fist in her cloak, and drags her backward. They both go tumbling off their horses, white tunic stained green with grass, splashed with mud. Hawke is already trying to push up from the ground, but Sebastian is on her, pinning her beneath him.

Hands catch wrists, struggling to catch his breath as he straddles her. “Go back Sebastian,” she tells him again. The horses, riderless and directionless, come to wandering stop nearby. She’s still struggling beneath him, glowering as she tries to escape his hold.

“Where are you going?” he asks, pressing her wrists to the ground.

“It’s better if you don’t know,” she says.

“Why? Why are you doing this? Have we done something wrong? Whatever it is we can-”

“Me! I’ve done something wrong,” Hawke says, looking away from him. “I’m the Champion of Kirkwall.” She makes a mockery of laughter, more pain than glee. “If it’s not the Chantry that hunts me, it’s the Crows. They’ll keep sending assassins.”

“We’ll fight them together,” Sebastian says.

“Sebastian, you almost died.”

“We were taken unawares. We won’t be again,” he says. That same laugh again, and Sebastian’s grip loosens as Hawke goes slack, stops fighting.

“You’re the bloody King. You shouldn’t be out here unprotected.”

“I’m not,” he smiles, “I have you.” He shifts, moving to sit, palms in the dirt and the grass. Hawke slowly sits up beside him, pulling her knees to her chest. She wraps her arms around them, hugging her legs tightly. She’s bathed recently, something quick – her hair is still wet. She wears no armor, just something simple. The cloak is heavy and dark, meant to hide more than protect. She doesn’t have her staff. Sebastian reaches out, loosens one of her hands, and takes it in his.

“Tell me.” His request is simple, but she struggles with the answer. Her hand shakes in his.

“I’m known. I’ll always have enemies now. When they think of Kirkwall, they think of the Chantry. They think of mages and Templars fighting each other, of the war. They think of me. Someone is always going… four Crows,” she says. Her forehead presses against her knees, and she takes a deep breath before turning to look at him.

“I’ve already lost one family. You’re in danger because of me. If I leave, then the Crows will chase me. The Chantry will leave you be. I know they’ve been sending Seekers to you. If I leave, you’ll be safer.” She pauses, thinks for a moment, and then her face cracks. “I can’t lose you,” she half-whispers it, “you and Fenris. I can’t – because of me. Not again. I can’t, I can’t.” Her hand is shaking harder and the ocean overflows.

“I was so frightened. I thought we’d lost you. T-then they wouldn’t tell me if you were okay. I know why. I know why F-Fenris told them not to tell me. I wanted to go to you, so badly. B-but if I did, they’d see me in the castle. They’d know where I was. If the Crows wanted to strike. Then you’d b-be in danger again. W-wouldn’t be able to defend yourself. They wouldn’t tell me if you were okay,” she sobs. “I thought you were dead.”

“Oh Hawke. My Hawke,” Sebastian murmurs, leans closer to her, pulls her into his arms. He cries with her, it hurts too much to see her like this. They sit together on that hill, underneath a lone tree. Branches sway in the wind, the gentle rustle of leaves. The horses are more than happy to roam nearby, faces at the ground, rooting out anything good they can find. The Palace shines in the distance, past the farms and fields.

Clouds drift, casting their shape upon the earth, passing lazily. It is bright but not blinding, caught safely underneath the shadow of the tree. Birds sing their song in the distance, bugs chirping out their work. The occasional beat of hooves upon the earth. Hawke’s muted breathing as she struggles to pull it all back in. “You are our family,” Sebastian says, “to both Fenris and I… the three of us belong together. Apart, we are less than ourselves. Weaker. Broken.”

“It was agony, to have you so far apart while we conquered Starkhaven. Like having a limb cut off. Nothing seemed right. Not until you were back with us. The world seems brightest when we are together. Better.” He presses a kiss to the crown of her head. “Please don’t leave us. I don’t think we could bear it,” he says.

Her hands are wound in his tunic, and there’s a moment of silence before she answers. “I – I need to keep you safe,” she says.

“You can do that best by staying with us. We keep each other safe,” he says. “Please stay.” She says nothing. He feels the nod, slow against him. He sighs, relieved, and squeezes her tightly. “My Hawke, my Hawke.”

The ride back to the Palace, is slower, more relaxed. Fenris pushes himself away from the beam he was leaning against, looking at them as they approach. Hawke is silent, her eyes still red-rimmed, and she makes a quiet exit towards her room. Sebastian gives Fenris a smile, puts a hand on his shoulder. Hawke is the last one to Sebastian’s room that night, resting her staff against the nightstand before she crawls into bed.

They do not speak about the events of the day. Sebastian kisses the nape of her neck. Fenris puts a hand on her face, soothing circles with his thumb. Kisses that spell relief, whisper love. They keep Hawke between them, their hands upon her, their bodies as close as they can manage. There’s reassurance in the closeness, an affirmation of the promise to stay. Together.

Sebastian’s stance is wide, feet planted on the ground, Hawke’s legs wrapped tight around his waist. Fingers bite underneath her thighs, his hands holding her tight. The stone is cool against her back, but Sebastian is warm as she clings to him, her hands at his shoulders, and his mouth at her neck. His hips thrust, and he rams his cock inside her again and again. She gasps against his ear, and her fingers bruise into skin. He tilts his face upward, his forehead beaded with sweat, and she is all too happy to oblige the kiss.

They’ve found an abandoned corridor, one where no guards walk, and Hawke had lit the sole torch. It’s paltry light, but more than enough for them. Hawke’s mewling cries echo in the emptiness, all of Sebastian’s grunts and moans. Hawke’s breasts bounce with each thrust, a mixture of her wet and his pre-cum dripping to the floor below. “Marry me,” Sebastian breathes, murmuring the words into her mouth.

“T-this is not exactly the m-most romantic of proposals,” Hawke gasps, her face red, her legs tightening around him.

“I can’t – I can’t wait any longer. Marry me Hawke,” he says again, capturing her lips in kiss after kiss, pulling her lip beneath his teeth, plunging his tongue inside her mouth. Her hand knits into his hair, pulling his head back. They look at each other for a few moments, rhythm unceasing, skin slapping against skin.

“Yes,” she says at last, “yes. But you have to propose to Fenris too.”

“I already have.” Catching him before he leaves the room. A single kiss. Tying a blue ribbon around his wrist, side by side with the red.

Hawke’s arms wrap around his neck, her head knocking against his as Sebastian grinds his hips against her, burying himself deep. He calls her name as he comes, eyes squeezed closed, her cunt clenching around him in unbearable waves. He lowers her to the ground slowly, the both of them sitting against stone, wrapped up in each other. Hawke moves fast, pushing him to the ground, straddling him. Her hands wrap around his wrists, press them to the floor.

“Ask me properly,” she says with a smile. Sebastian chuckles softly, smiles back at her.

“I love you Hawke. Please, you would make me the happiest man if you would agree to be my wife. Marry me.” She leans down, kisses him gently, lips brushing against his.

“King Sebastian Vael of Starkhaven, it would honor me most greatly to be your wife.” He moves swiftly, escaping her grasp to wrap an arm around her waist and flip her. Hawke lets out a delighted laugh as his face presses against hers, covering her in kisses. He sits with his legs crossed, Hawke in his lap. She reaches up, taps a finger against his nose.

“Three. Three children. More than that and I’m killing you in your sleep,” she says. Sebastian laughs, and then nods.

“Three it is.”

“At least one has to be Fenris’s,” she says.

“I’m telling you, as I told Fenris, all children you bear will be the heirs of Starkhaven. I will love them no matter what. Pointed ears or not,” he tells her quietly. She smiles at that, runs a finger along the line of his jaw, pinches at his chin. She leans forward, her eyes on him always, kisses him deeply.

“Good,” she murmurs.

The first Crow comes for her three days later. Hawke sits on the edge of the bed as the maid enters the room, Sebastian still sleeping. She carries fresh towels, a knife wedged between them. Hawke catches the glint of metal out of the corner of her eye, bright underneath an unclouded sun. Her magic is swift, pinning the ‘maid’ against the wall. There’s magebane on the knife, an edge of green that hurts Hawke to be near. It’s Sebastian who rips it from the Crow’s grasp. Guards enter swiftly, brought by Hawke’s thunder, drag the Crow down to the cellars. She doesn’t stay there long. They send her head back to Antiva, along with the knife.

The second Crow comes for her in the evening. He catches her in the corridor heading towards the kitchens, she cries out when the throwing knife hits the back of her leg. Magebane first, this time. The Crow is on her in an instant, she blocks the first strike of his dagger with her arm. Embedded in bone and flesh, she twists to catch his wrist. She twists it, pulls the dagger from him with her other hand. She sinks it deep into his neck, falling backwards with the dead crow on top of her. They send his hand back to Antiva.

The third Crow sends others to do his bidding. Bodies slow, their eyes long clouded. A mage, a blood mage at that. He enthralls servants, an attacker at every turn. She stops eating for fear of an enthralled cook slipping poison in her food. She stops training for there are too many eyes in the barracks. She cowers in her room, Sebastian by her side. It takes Fenris two days to find the source, a cowering mouse of a thing hiding in the sewers. He freely cuts his wrists, uses blood to power him. No match for Fenris, who swiftly slices through him. They send his staff back to Antiva.

“Wouldn’t you be so kind as to die for me?” The fourth Crow asks, a smile on her face. There’s a cleaver in her hands, blood stained upon her boots. “You’ve been causing quite a lot of trouble.”

“Afraid I can’t,” Hawke says as she rises from her bath without any shame. She brushes wet locks away from her face, water dripping off of her as she leaves the tub to stand on tile. She draws fire to her fist, cocks her head at the assassin. The Crow laughs.

“Shame. Although, that is what I thought you might say. I’ve no interest in dying either, Champion.” The Crow snaps her feet together, gives Hawke a low bow. “Molte vittorie a voi.” She bends down on one knee, leaves the cleaver on the floor. Then she leaves, as quickly as she had come, unseen by the guards. They send the cleaver back to Antiva, and grant the Crow her freedom in the guise of death.

The Crows send a letter. A truce of sorts. They will tell the Champion if another Crow has been paid to kill her. Thus far, there has only been silence. Sebastian marries Hawke on a sunny day, a crown of roses in her hair. It feels like home again. Merrill is tanned and smells more of sea salt, Isabela’s arm slung over her shoulders. Varric has dragged along a Seeker of all things, who frowns at all but swoons at the ceremony. Aveline and Donnic, hand in hand, wearing matching smiles.

It’s the old days all over again, of loud laughing, long hours of drinking. Isabela still cheats at cards, Fenris still wins anyway. Merrill makes flowers bloom in the moonlight, Varric spins the tale of the Inquisitor. Aveline speaks of Kirkwall, how much the city has changed. Calmed. They talk together until the sun rises, and still they go on. It hurts when they leave, an ache as they go. Hawke, Sebastian and Fenris stand together. Stay together.

Fenris closes his eyes as Hawke hums, running her fingers through his hair. He sits cross legged on the ground, while she sits on a chair behind him. She pulls back lock after lock, winding them in her fingers, forming a neat braid in his hair. She ties it off with a small ribbon, pulls it over his shoulder. Then she leans forward, biting playfully at the tip of his ear as she wraps her arms around his neck. He leans back, a knee on either side of him, smiling as his hand touches her arm. She lets her head rest on his, still humming as she holds him tight.

Together they watch as Sebastian chases after her, hunched over and arms out, with a wide smile of happiness. She lets out childish peals of laughter, trampling flowers as she goes. Muddy red hair, like her father. Fenris shifts, and Hawke leans back in the chair. He turns, kneeling before her, a hand passing over her swollen belly. A thumb brushes against his cheek as he smiles up at her, presses a kiss to where his child sleeps within her.

[survivoremathia]

Ep. 7 - “"I Love Lies and Deceit" - Isaac”

LOGAN

IF I DONT WIN IMMUNITY IM GOING HOME KNOW THAT THATS ALL HELP PLEASE I CANT GO HOME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

OWEN

Well well well!!! Ryan B went home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Surprise surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~) I threw a vote on Scott just in case Ryan, who did absolutely no campaigning whatsoever, had an idol or something from the labyr*nth. But he didn't and he's dead so! Fun!!!!!!!!! Anyways... I want to win individual immunity kind of, although I think I have a good case to get Jay out of here. Still, I don't know what Duncan will think of me if Jay DOES get shipped off, and it might be better for me if Scott goes because I've never talked to Scott and there's no relationship there? With Trevor and I on the same tribe there's always the worry someone will want to split us up but I don't see how that benefits anyone really because we'll just be a target at merge. We're like an extra fat meat shield :) use us :))))))))) anyways, none of my alliance wants to win immunity because the challenge is an unnecessarily difficult version. It worries me that we all feel cocky enough to...not try lmao afsdkhdfsjfds which makes me want to try but at the same time??? I don't want to do that it's finals week and it's too much. I just want to merge so I can fuck everyone up

LOGAN

also everyone in this game? likes me as a person? but i think ERRYONE knows im a threat and im in the bottom so i need to win. that is all. love rob. ill die for rob. 

JD

Yeah, this challenge is going to be bad... I'm much sorry

-

Jesus fuck. That sucked... I hope i never have to do anything like that again. 4 hours of my life i wont be getting back *sigh* but i saved that cute little rock from the underworld, yes i did.... I think I'll name him... He- hey! My rock just does back to the underworld... Well there goes that. *Le shrug* (sleepy Jessy is sleepy)

SCOTT

I am shocked I survived the vote. But I am confident I will most likely be voted out at the next tribal, and since the challenge is basically computer slavery. I am screwed. WELP *Prays for the merge* 

LOGAN

woooo, my death is happening!

-

IN THE GAME I MEAN IN THE GAME I PROMISEHTBDFGJNSDKMZ

TREVOR

Sam chose me to go to the labyrinth. A good ally. Maybe I will take him to the end. 

-

We're voting for Jay. I kind of insisted it without discussing it which is bad but I wasn't in the mood. 

It's either gonna tie with Scott or be 4-3-1 as I'm gonna try and get Scott to vote for Owen if he comes online. If it does tie we will vote Jay on the revote so it's fine. I have Lydia's 20% challenge advantage because I'm not allowed to give it back to her. Oh well. I'm sure we're swapping or merging after this.

SAM

https://youtu.be/ZNx-K60v4BU

ROB

Literally the only person who I did not to win. Fuck I think I couldve done it. Lazy ass. I'm definitely in danger once more. 

SAM

MORE CONFESSIONS yeah i'm pretty nervous about tribal tonight. i'm afraid that one of the newbies is going to get voted out, so i might have to appeal to duncan that the newbies are on his side. or that i can get them to be on his side because i think they might be down to vote for him. they're concerned with mending fences and they believe that duncan might not help them but LIKE LOOK DUNCAN WILL PLAY WITH ME AT MERGE AND MATT SUMMERS ISN'T CALLED MATT FUCKING SUMMERS FOR NOT REASON so i'll have to check in on everyone later today and make sure their heads are in the right spot. that's all. at least it isn't me.

SCOTT

This song goes to my tribe if they vote me out (Verse) Wrap it up, I said I don't have time I guess you're outta luck, but I'm doin' fine Give it up, you don't wanna act like you care And I don't want a house full of her hair (Pre-Chorus) (And you said) Literally, babe Are ya gonna give up so easily? I thought I meant more I thought you was stronger... (And you said) Literally, babe I've been stressing about us all day, well Guess you bit off more than you can chew I've got li-te-ra-lly nothing to say to you (Chorus) You wanna play me till I kick you out You wanna call me when you're feeling down Beggin' on your knees, BITCH PLEASE! And when I finally let you bring me close You wanna promise me you'll never go Then you wanna leave, BITCH PLEASE! (Interlude) Don't text me, you're pathetic, BITCH PLEASE! This is the only way you'll hear from me, HA! Don't text me, you're pathetic, BITCH PLEASE! This is the only way you'll hear from me, HA! (Verse 2) Listen up, you don't get a goodbye You don't get another shot to make me everything I'm not I'm a girl on fire, I'm a girl who dreams And you're a boy who needs to stay the hell away from me (Pre-Chorus) (And you said) Literally, babe Are ya gonna give up so easily? I thought I meant more I thought you was stronger... (And you said) Literally, babe I've been stressing about us all day, well Guess you bit off more than you can chew I've got li-te-ra-lly nothing to say to you (Chorus) You wanna play me till I kick you out You wanna call me when you're feeling down Beggin' on your knees, BITCH PLEASE! And when I finally let you bring me close You wanna promise me you'll never go Then you wanna leave, BITCH PLEASE! (Bridge) And it hit me like a ton of bricks Like a ton of your ugly hats When I was broken, when I was lonely When I was reachin' out for your hand That the sun could go down My shadow and taunts, there's no-one around, I swear We're as lonely as with you there (He's not gonna get that...) (Whatever!) (Chorus) You wanna play me till I kick you out You wanna call me when you're feeling down Beggin' on your knees, BITCH PLEASE! And when I finally let you bring me close You wanna promise me you'll never go Then you wanna leave, BITCH PLEASE! (Interlude) Don't text me, you're pathetic, BITCH PLEASE! This is the only way you'll hear from me, HA! Don't text me, you're pathetic, BITCH PLEASE! This is the only way you'll hear from me, HA!

MATTEW

So...double tribal. Yikes! I feel like I'm in a pretty good spot at this point. I have an alliance with people that I don't think have any reason to flip, but the only troubling thing is the fact that there could potentially be a boatload of rewards and items out there just waiting to get played. Hopefully my alliance is the only one who has gained access to Room 5, but there's always that uncertainty about the Labyrinth that's super scary. We could easily try to play it safe and blindside someone again, but now's not the time for paranoia. I've been thinking a lot about numbers come merge and I'm starting to realize that Trevor is probably at the center of the dynamics of the other tribe. He has Owen and Lydia that he's really close with, who each have people that can branch off to form a majority. I want to trust Ryan when merge comes, but we've been apart for so long at this point that I can't be certain where he his loyalties lie until we can meet back up and talk game again. My point is, there's a lot of uncertainties that could lead to me being in the minority come merge so my focus for the next few rounds is to keep as many people happy with me as possible. I mended bridges with Logan a bit and we've had some pretty solid game talks, so hopefully they're being honest about being willing to let Rob go and they're not just trying to screw me over. I'm going to have to start talking with Duncan again, because there's a lot of uncertainty and distrust between us and if we're going to be able to form a majority at merge, we're going to have to patch things up and look forward. Still, preparing to get #snatched at tribal council tonight.

JD

What kind of evil was that! Escape from hell???? Na man, i think I'll just stay there next time... I mean i saved the rock though! That rock... That will help me do absolutely nothing. By God. 

Okay seriously though, i have control issues. I get that, i know that and I'll embrace my faults. I also think it's one of the reasons why I'm so worried about this tribal. I've had class all day and i haven't been able to really talk to people the way that i want to. I can't get a read on the other three to know if they are really going to stay with us or if they are just planing something with some items. The only thing that I'm not worried about is the idol, maybe that means I'm putting too much trust in Sam but i did save his ass last time we were in tribal. And yes I'm taking all the credit for it because even with Ali's extra vote, my tribe wanted to vote for Robby and i believe that i changed their minds. I saved Sam. Sam best not be fucking with me. Right so last night me and Sam talked in length about what he wanted to do in this game. He told me that Duncan gave him the idol. Something about after you use it you have to give it to someone else. So if he's telling me the truth, and i really think he is, he has the idol. He also wanted to know if i had  any connections with anyone on the other side .... I mean yes! The other half of my final four is over there... I didn't tell him THAT though. I told him that when Trevor came over we talked but mostly about being old... Which was not a lie. That was the first thing we talked about, and being Canadian. Me and Ali liked him enough and checked with Lydia about bring him in with us and i hope that they really have been able to work out their differences Because here is my set up. Final 2 - me and Ali (we can't take a vet with us, that's just asking to lose) Final 4 - me, Ali, Lydia, Trevor (idk what our name is anymore but i really liked when we gave ourselves seasons so I'm going with 4 seasons right now) Final 5 - 4 seasons and Sam because i still think Sam owes me and i plan to collect on that at some point. Final 8 - Owen, Matt, Isaac. And if the 8 of us can get together straight out of the merge, if that happens after tribal, then there would be 12 players in the game. We have more then majority and we get ride of a couple people before shit hurts the fan I'm sure. At 10 it might get bloody cus everyone is going to have their own groups that they want to go to the end with. Right so that all came from mine and Sam's conversation was that he wants to work with Trevor and Owen, because they are a power couple and he thinks they would be targeted before any of use. Which would be truth if Trevor wasn't in my main alliance. All this could go to shit tonight. Any four of us could get voted out or Lydia and Trevor might have decided to leave me and Ali behind. We'll see. About to vote and I'm such a control freak that I'm trying to figure out how to be more involved. Like lying to Logan and telling them to vote for Matt or Sam to see if we can trust her. But... There so much bad that could happen. God I'm going home tonight -_-' 

ROB

If you're not going to stay loyal to me then you can't expect me to stay loyal to you. I'm doing whatever it takes to stay alive in this game, even if it means turning my back on the people I was close to. JD*sigh* i thought this tribal was set. I hate scrambling ready 

ALI

This tribal is awful :( Rob is the general consensus, and I'm being especially nice for two reasons. A) Because I feel really bad B) Because I don't want him to play an idol and for his one vote to vote me out. I wanted to work with him, but that core Olympus 3 was just too tight grr. I wish we could vote off Duncan, he is kinda shifty and I'm still put off by him lying to me... Next time... Also, whoever invented that challenge can CATCH THESE HANDS. It was awful. Also, Scott is probably going tonight, which'll make me one of two newbies left and the only Brit. If Rob goes also, I think I become the youngest person, the only Brit and one of two newbies.... I'm going into extinction.

ISAAC

I love lies and deceit. All of a sudden I'm shook about Trevor keeping me out of the loop™ So me, myself, and I and my petty ass are going to be ugly™