#no animal deserves to be in pain if it can be prevented so pls help me keep my babies healthy and fed!!!!! ����💖

[dream-cake]

hi guys! I added a tipping option to my blog, and I'd really appreciate any tips to help feed my fur babies!!! thanks y'all!!

have some pics of them 😍

other tip links:

c$pp | vnm | pypl | ☕

[silvxr-speedster]

My Immortal

A/N: Okay, so I just wanted to let y’all know that this imagine is incredibly sad and intense and I don’t want it to trigger anyone so if you get triggered easily, please don’t read this! I hope you like it and I hope that this does the request justice!  I hope the person who requested this doesn’t mind that I changed it a bit. Please let me know what you think!

If you like to listen to music while you read, or you want to make this more emotional, listen to Hurts Like Hell by Fleurie, My Immortal or Hello by Evanescence :)

Prompt: Anonymous asked: The reader and Bucky have been dating for a while. They go to a mission in HYDRA and for some reason, everyone can leave the base, less Bucky, the base explodes and everyone believes Bucky is dead. The reader enters depression and departs the Avengers. She spends every day in the room, crying in room until there are no tears and remembering happy moments between the two. The pain is so much that she comet suicide, but Bucky appears before she passed out. Happy ending, pls! Thank you xx

“Okay, breach the back door in three...two...one...” Steve spoke through your ear piece. You took a calming breath and kicked open the door you had already unlocked. The whole team was involved in infiltrating a main H.Y.D.R.A. base. It was difficult work to make it to the base, past all the guards, but you, Steve, Nat, and your longtime boyfriend Bucky had made it to the base. You had snuck around to the back with Bucky guarding you while you picked the lock and waited for Cap’s  signal.

You took a deep breath and looked over at Bucky. During a mission, the two of you rarely acted more than teammates. It could jeopardize the mission and bring harm to the team if you didn’t. He clenched his jaw and nodded at you. You lifted your gun and quietly walked inside.

You furrowed your eyebrows when you started to notice just how empty the base was. “Cap,” you spoke into the ear piece. “I think they knew we were coming.”

You heard Bucky’s footsteps disappear down the hall to your right. Keeping your breathing steady, you walked into the first open doorway. You were greeted with a bare room that had only one thing in the center - a bomb. With just seconds remaining, your brain went into overdrive. “Everyone out, there’s a bomb!”

“What,” Nat shouted into the earpiece. “You’ve got to be shitting me!”

“Out!”

You turned on your heel and sprinted out. Just as your feet crossed the exit, you were flown into a tree with the recoil of the explosion. You coughed blood as you winced at the sharp pain in your side. You looked up at the building, taking in the destruction. “E-everyone out? Steve?”

“I’m here, Y/N.”

“Nat?”

“All good,” she breathed, irritated.

“Bucky?” Worry seeped into your mind as you waited for his response. All you heard on his end was silence. Tears filled your eyes as your brain processed what was going on. “Bucky?” Your voice cracked as you tried to stand. Your heart rate increased. Your side throbbed as a cry escaped your lips. You collapsed onto the snow-covered ground. “Bucky, please,” you rasped as you feared for the worst. You couldn’t lose him; he was your lifeline.

“I’ll look for him,” Steve answered. “Sam, get to Y/N and get her out of here. She needs medical attention.”

“No! I have to find Bucky!” Sam landed in front of you and shook his head. He easily wrapped his arms around you and lifted you up. “Let me go! I have to find Bucky,” you weakly fought against him, but  you could feel your eyelids dropping. Soon, the world went black.

Your eyelids were heavy as you awoke in the infirmary. A tube ran out of your arm and your side was heavily bandaged. Your throat was dry and you were alone in the room. There were many ‘get well soon’ cards, flowers, stuffed animals, and even candy around the room. It made you smile, but all you really wanted was Bucky.

Bucky.

Your heartrate sped up as you remembered the events before you passed out. Where was Bucky? A panicked scream edged its way into your throat and threatened to escape. You heard the machine next to you beep frantically as you tried to sit up. You winced at the pain in your side, but you continued ripping the I.V. needle out of your arm. You needed  to find him.

The door to your left opened, showing you Bruce and Tony. Tony immediately walked towards you and sighed. He started forcing you back into the bed as tears threatened to spill over your eyelids. “No,” you whimpered. “I need to see Bucky! Tony, please!”

Your panicked state created more beeping. Steve walked into the room, looking for the problem. His eyes widened as he noticed you wrestling against Tony. He walked over to you and helped Tony hold you down while Bruce gave you a sedative. “Y/N, please relax. You need your rest,” Bruce murmured, giving you an encouraging smile. “You have some internal injuries.”

“Bucky...”

Steve’s hand encircled around yours, making you look at him. Your eyebrows furrowed as you felt your limbs fill with lead. Steve shook his head, slowly and sadly. “He...he didn’t make it.”

You couldn’t form a thought as you looked into Steve’s eyes. They were bloodshot and filling with tears. Your heart rate couldn’t speed up this time and you felt your mind numbing. You wished that you could process what this meant, but your eyelids couldn’t stay open. Slowly, you were dragged into another deep sleep.

When you woke up, you were flooded with emotions, but numbed at the same time. You felt despair and grief, but you couldn’t cry. You stared at the bed, weakly, wishing you could scream or cry. You looked to your right to see Steve sitting next to you. He was reading the newspaper, but you knew he was aware of the fact that you woke up.

“He’s really gone...isn’t he?”

Steve didn’t look at you at first. You were afraid that you hadn’t actually spoken, but as the seconds dragged to minutes, you could see that Steve was holding back his tears. He finally looked over at you and shook his head. “We searched the entire location and inside the rubble. We couldn’t find him.”

A soft sob bubbled out of your lips as you clutched your chest. Now, you were really feeling something. Tears poured down your cheeks as you cried. You tried so desperately to breathe, but your sobs prevented air from entering your lungs, fully. Steve grabbed your hand as you cried, knowing just how alone you were feeling. “I-I don’t want to live without him!”

Steve didn’t say anything. He knew that no matter what he said, you wouldn’t change your mind on this. He knew that no amount of words could lessen the grief that was eating you whole. He traced designs on the back of your hand and listened to your sobs. “I’m here, I’ll always be here,” he finally whispered. “I won’t leave you alone in this.”

By the end of the week, you were allowed to leave the infirmary. The team hadn’t visited you, except for Steve and Bruce. You didn’t want to face them, but you knew you had to today. It was his funeral. You adjusted your black skirt and stared at your reflection. If you had just been a minute quicker, if you hadn’t let Bucky wander, if you had told him you loved him, maybe just maybe, you wouldn’t be hurting.

Your lip curled as you shook your head. Nothing would change the pain that was suffocating you with every breath you took. You continued to stare for a few more seconds before pushing the door to your room open and walking out.

You asked Steve to tell the team that you wanted to be alone when you walked to the cemetery where your love would be buried. He respected your decision and simply told you the time that the ceremony started. He informed you that it would be small and only the Avengers would be there. As much as the team knew Bucky deserved a special funeral, no one wanted strangers there. No one could really believe that after everything that had happened, Bucky had died so easily.

When you made it to the cemetery, you were alone. Bucky’s empty casket sat where it would eventually be lowered into the ground. It was black, shiny, and very much lonely. You grabbed a rose from the vase and set it on the top. A few tears slid down your cheeks as you rested your hand on the cold casket.

“I loved and I lost you,” you whispered. “And it hurts like hell.”

You weakly stared at where your hand rested on what would be Bucky’s eternal resting place. You shook your head as a sob bubbled out of your lips. You were alone, you’d always be alone.

The team arrived before you could gather the pieces of your soul and lock them away from their worried eyes. Wanda approached you, sadly. She didn’t say anything at first. She stood next to you and stared at the casket. “I know how ugly grief can be,” she said, quietly. “I want you to know that I am willing to be there for you. I promise.” She turned before you could respond and found her seat.

You sat down in the front row, next to Steve. You didn’t say anything to him and he didn’t say anything to you. You both were drowning in guilt and despair. A million ‘if only’s’ swallowed whatever thoughts you had. You found yourself wondering if Bucky would have lived if something about the mission changed whenever you allowed your thoughts to wander.

The priest began talking, but you couldn’t listen. You didn’t care what he had to say. What could possibly be said to comfort any of the Avengers? They’d given too much just to lose even more. You found yourself questioning your suitability with the team and your willpower to continue fighting crime.

When the priest finished, you were invited up to say a few words. You weren’t sure what to say, in fact, you forgot to even prepare anything. You took a deep breath and looked at Bucky’s empty casket. “I miss you with every breath I take. I miss waking up to your nightmares. I miss wiping away the tears you cried. I don’t want to continue without you. I can’t continue saving people if I couldn’t save you.’” You paused to sniffle and wipe away the few tears that escaped. You looked over at the team, taking in their worried stares. You took a deep breath and looked at Steve, pleading with him to understand what you were going to say next. “That’s why I’m resigning from the Avengers. I-I can’t keep fighting evil when I’m drowning in sadness. I hope you all understand. I just can’t.” Steve clenched his jaw, but nodded in understanding. Your lips turned upward as you gave the team one last look. Without saying anything, you turned and walked away from the cemetery and your family.

It was difficult to leave the tower and the team. Steve seemed to be the only one that understood your decision. Tony had tried to offer you money and bought you an apartment that was nearby. Wanda was constantly telling you how she survived the loss of her brother. Sam was telling you all about the importance of continuing without Bucky.

You wanted nothing more than to just shut out the rest of the team. As much as you loved them, you couldn’t stand their need to help save you. You sat in your living room, looking out the window at the blue sky. Not a single cloud hung in the way of the sun. It had been three weeks since you last saw Bucky. His face haunted you every time you shut your eyes. You couldn’t feel anything, but at the same time, you didn’t want to.

You stood up and trudged towards the bathroom. You filled the tub with scalding water, hoping it would remind you to feel again. You sunk into the tub, wincing at the hot water. You stared at the boring and plain white walls. You hadn’t done anything since you moved into this apartment. Hell, you hardly even unpacked. You held your breath and sunk under the water. For a brief second, you wondered what would happen if you starting breathing under the water.

You slowly floated back up to the surface of the water and shook your head. You couldn’t bring yourself to do anything, even end your life. The water was hot enough to burn your skin and your eyes, but you didn’t care. You let your eyelids slip shut as you tried erasing all memories of Bucky.

A knock came to the bathroom door and you fought the urge to groan. You didn’t care who it was, but you wanted them gone. You just wanted to drown yourself in your loneliness, even if you couldn’t literally drown yourself in the tub. “Go away,” you grumbled.

“Y/N,” a voice rasped on the other end of the door. You knew the voice. You knew it.

You shook your head, suddenly angry. How dare someone show up and impersonate your Bucky? You pulled the drain on the tub and stood up. You wrapped yourself in a robe, letting your hair drip on your shoulders and down your skin. You swung open the door, ready to yell, but the anger was knocked out of you, along with your breath.

Bucky stood in front of your door, bruised, weak, and tired. He scanned your face as relief swept across his features. He wrapped you up in his arms as a soft sob escaped his lips. You couldn’t process this. It had to be a dream. Your arms wrapped around Bucky as tears trickled down your cheeks. He felt so real in your arms.

“Bucky,” you whimpered, burying your head in his shoulder. “You’re alive.”

“I’m sorry,” he rasped.

You pulled away and looked into his blue eyes. “What happened to you?”

“I don’t know. I woke up in the snow and none of my tech worked. I couldn't contact you or anyone. I walked for days to find the nearest town. I had to find you. I had to come back to you.”

You stared at him. “I thought you were dead.” Bucky sighed and wiped away the tears that were streaming down your cheeks. “I quit the Avengers because I thought you were dead.”

Bucky pulled you into his arms. “I’m alive. I’m here, now, darling.”