#nick cage had the most hair in it i'll give it that

[books-apples-socks]

me on my quest not to rag on francis ford coppola and get pelted in the face/put in the stocks for it part 8348329239: captain's log it's not going well

[flowerbetweenfangs]

Caged

(This is a longer one and will be put under read more. CW: There is slavery, but the reader is looking to free/dismantle the system in their own way)

You came across the caged people in the middle of the day. There were no code words or secret passages to get to the displays. It was like any other booth at the bazaar.

Most of the cages were filled with beastmen. Unlike the creatures who roamed the forest, they would walk on two legs. Some could even speak.

Lionmen, Tigerladies, Avian Sapiens, "Not Deer", Chimera, and even a few Phoenixes all stared at you as you walked. Some grabbed the bars and strained their faces to look at you. A small flicker of danced across your eyes. Maybe a spark of hope that they would be freed.

"How long has this been going on?" You asked your companion.

"What do you mean?"

"The slaves?"

"Ah. Well, my dear blue blood..." Their voice trailed off as they stared at the cages. "Surely you heard about the market for this? They're not slaves..." They wiggled their fingers, brows furrowed as they attempted to come up with an explanation. "Merely.... Indentured servants."

"Why not put an offer up on the boards in town?" You raised a skeptical brow and ventured closer to the cages.

A walking stick slapped your chest. The impact smarted. Wincing, you stepped away to rub the sore spot.

"You shouldn't question this so much." Your companion hissed next to your ear.

"How much are the contracts?" You asked. There wasn't much left in your purse, but surely you could at least free one.

"Sorry?"

"We offer a wide variety of specimens and creatures." A well dressed figure stepped out from behind one of the cages. He ran a walking stick of his own across the bars, causing many who had come forward to retreat and whimper.

"We've broken them in ahead of time," His smile made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. "So they should already be obedient."

"Broken in?" Your brows raised more. So they had beaten or tortured these creatures into compliance?

"Don't worry, little Blue Blood." The man bowed. "We would not want a client to be harmed by the merchandise. If one does harm you or run away, we will send in our own parties to capture and return them, and give you a new one."

Your companion must have seen your scheming expression. The waling stick slammed down on the top of your foot and a quick throat clear was all the warning they could offer while being discreet.

Your eyes went to the Lionman again. They'd shorn his mane. Nicks and a few notches in his ear and surrounding fur showed how gentle they'd been. Dried blood and dirt clung to his body.

Your stomach churned at the fetid stench and sight. The sign declaring his price seemed insultingly low for another life. But considering how much the sellers had damaged the "merchandise", perhaps that was why.

You put down the coins.

The merchant slid over papers. The sloppily applied seal at the bottom hinted at their legitimacy, or lack thereof. Clenching your jaw, your eyes flicked to the top of the page. The spot next to "Name" was blank.

"He's your property, so you get to call him what you want."

"I'll... Think about it."

***

When you arrived home, the newcomer's nose wrinkled, sniffing his new environment.

Setting the papers down, you waved over one of the notaries, who came over with blank pieces of papers and writing tools. While you could read and write, the palace preferred the people they paid to be the ones who crossed the Ts and dotted the Is, along with minding the Ps and Qs.

"What is your name?" You asked the creature once your companion left to the servants' quarters. Laughter and cheers erupted shortly after.

The sudden noise had the Lionman's eyes wide, what little fur he had standing on end.

"They're always off by the seventeenth mark." You explained.

His eyes remained focused on the door. A chalice fell over as his thrashing tail struck it. As red wine sloshed across the table, the notary screeched, trying to save the paper.

Fabric tore and in a golden blur, the Lionman's fist slammed down on the table in front of you.

A filthy rag was clutched in his hand. And he was wearing less clothing than before.

"Forgive me." His hand trembled as he attempted to wipe up he rest of the wine.

"It's okay." You tried to keep your tone gentle as your heart became a battering ram against your chest. He'd moved so fast. Tore off his clothes, just to keep some wine off yours.

"And what is the name of my savior?" You tried again, now that you had his attention.

"I... Do not have one."

You inhaled sharply. Perhaps releasing him back into the wild wasn't the best option, just yet.

"Well... I paid a gold piece for you. You have golden fur. And you clearly are showing you will be worth every piece." You looked to the notary.

"What's another word for gold?"

"Well, an old word for gold piece was "Aureus."" The notary explained as they spread the papers across the tables.

You turned back to the Lionman.

"Is that acceptable?"

He dropped to one knee, arm across his abdomen.

"Of course, Master."

[wardenparker]

Character: Javi G

Prompt: “I’ll protect you”

Lastly: CONGRATS! 👏 🥳

Javi Gutierrez. 830 words. "I'll protect you." Co-written with @absurdthirst

Established relationship. Reader is described as having hair long enough to curl.

Javi rushes into the room, stopping and staring for a brief moment as you look up from the chair you are sitting in. Curlers are in your hair and there are a million different products lined up on the bathroom counter. A ring light has been added, giving more light to the space to allow the stylist that he had hired to make you feel like a princess. "The dress is here." He tells you excitedly.

"Is it everything you hoped for, amor?" His film premiere tonight has him in jitters, but the excited kind. As Javi has gotten more comfortable in Hollywood, he has also become a more active participant in the parties and events that the film industry considers so important. It's taking a little longer for you to get into the scene, but you also haven't been in Hollywood as long as he has. In fact, you're only here because of how much you love him. Being a writer/producer's girlfriend was never anything you had on the Bingo card of your life.

"You love it too, sí?" He asks, a worried frown crossing his face. He had thought you loved the dress too, but maybe he had been too busy imagining how you would look next to him to see any objections you had. He just wanted you to feel beautiful tonight, since you are coming with him.

"Of course I love it." It's a stunning, designer-made evening gown. What's not to love? "I just want you to be proud to be seen with me, my love. And since you picked out the dress, I wanted to make sure that you still love it."

"I would be proud to be seen with you no matter what you are wearing." You still seem to be a bit intimidated by the fact that he used to be a billionaire. He's not one anymore. Most everything he owed was siezed by the police when they captured Lucas. He didn't even get to keep his golden guns. Now, he was started to build back a nice portfolio with the screenplays he was developing, but you don't care about his lack of money. "But it is even more beautiful than I remember." He hums. "Almost as beautiful as you."

“Flatterer.” A teasing little accusation and you lean forward to kiss him as the stylist moves around you to take your hair out of the curlers and work whatever magic she has in mind. “Everything will be wonderful tonight, mi amor. I promise.” He’s knows you are nervous, but you have given him your word that you do want to be there and so you’re going to make sure that he feels it, too. Hollywood may be intimidating but it will not stop you from supporting him.

"It will be good for you too." He promises, sending you a soft smile through the mirror. You have been amazing, his constant support and champion after he had split with Gabriela. It was like you were meant to be.

“I’m sure it will be. And it will be nice to see Nick and Olivia.” Javi’s best friend is his coproducer on this film and Nick Cage’s wife has quickly become a friendly shoulder for you to lean on. As odd as that sentence is to you sometimes.

"Yes it will." He grins, excited to see his friend again. "They also said that the afterparties are a must."

“We’ll stay out as long as you like,” you promise him with an indulgent grin. “I took the next two days off of work.”

"You did?" His brows wing up in surprise, expecting to have to leave early so you could go to bed a reasonably decent time.

“Of course I did.” His surprise breaks your heart, but you reach up to cup his face gently with one hand. “I might be nervous but I’m not going to abandon you in the middle of your big night.”

"I know." He knows that you are incredibly supportive, but you also have a job that you have to keep as well. "I just know you are nervous at the big parties."

“And I’ll get used to it with a little practice.” Your office job doesn’t exactly put you in the line of fire when it comes to big anything. But Javi is worth making changes for.

Javi nods, understanding that you must feel like a fish out of water at times. "Don't worry." He promises, risking the stylist's ire to press a soft kiss to your cheek. "I'll protect you."

“I know you will.” Since the moment the two of you met, you have been his champion and he has been yours. He’s more than you ever dreamed of in a partner and you’re determined to make him proud. “It’s going to be a wonderful night, mi amor.”

“Yes it will.” He knows it will be, because you are by his side. “We will have the time of our lives.”

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon   @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo @madnessofadaydreamer

My Masterlist!

[burgundykicks]

1. "I love you ,its ruining my life" WAS NOT EXPECTION THAT IN FORNIGHT ,A TRACK 1?

I absolutely love the beat tho and I'm so exited for the music vid

2. HOLY SHIT THIS GD TITLE TRACK IS GIVING RED TO ME?

LIKE CAN YOU HEAR THE RED? I MF LOVE IT

"This ain't the Chelsea Hotel ,we're modern idiots"

"You left your typewriter at my apartment ,straight from the Tortured Poets department"

NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING DAMN

3. "I clean up sandcastles he destroys"

NOOOOOOO

"Left all these broken parts ,and told me I'm better off"

STOP IT PLEASE

4. "For a minute I knew cosmic love ,now I'm down back crying at the gym"

TELL ME THATS NOT WOLFSTAR/JEGULUS CODED?!?!?

Actually this whole song is giving wolfstar

"Everything comes out ,teenage petulance"

SIRIUS AND THE PRANK

5. TRACK FIVE OH GOD

"How much sad did you ,think I had ,did I have in me?"

STOPPP HELPNO ILL CRY

(INTERRUPTION TO SAY SHES JUST ANNOUNCED 15 EXTRA SONGS HOLY FUCK?!?!?!? SHES A MACHINE BRO)

6. "I only know these people raise you ,to cage you"

THIS SONG OMDS IT HITS SO HARD

"I'm having his baby ,no I'm not ,but you should see your faces"

Giggled bc that's rlly funny

7. "Now pretty baby I'm running back home to you ,fresh out the slammer I know who my first call will be to"

AHHHHHHHH

8. FLORENCEEEEEE

"I need to forget so take me to florida ,I got some regrets ill Bury them in florida"

9. "My boredoms bone deep"

"Am I allowed to cry"

"Someone told me ,there's no such thing as bad thoughts. Only your actions talk"

"If its make beleive ,why does it feel like a vow"

MARAUDERS FANDOM THOUGH

10. "You don't get to tell me about sad"

NO OMG THE WAY SHE SCREAMS THE TITLE HURTS SO MUCH

"Is it a wonder I broke let's hear one more joke ,then we could all just laugh until I cry"

"Who's afraid of little old me, well you should be"

"So tell me everything is not about me ,but what if it is? Then say they didn't do it to hurt me ,but what if they did? I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me. You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me."

Fuck

11. "But your good lord doesn't need to lift a finger ,I can fix him (no really I can)"

"He had a halo of the highest grade ,he just hadn't met me yet"

12. "Black and white ,all those plot twists"

The noble and most ancient house of black.

"I wish I could un recall ,how we almost had it all"

"It was legendary ,it was momentary"

13. TRACK 13!

"Cuz I'm a real tough kid ,I can handle my shit"

"Lights camera bitch smile ,even when you wanna die"

"I'm so depressed I act like it's my birthday everyday"

"I cry alot but I am so productive, it's an art"

"Cuz I'm miserable ,and no one even knows"

14. "Was any of it true ,gazing at me starry eyed"

"And I don't even want you back I just want to know ,if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal"

"And I would have died for your sins ,but instead I just died inside"

15. "Honestly ,who are we to fight the alchemy"

"This happens once every few lifetimes"

16. Last track before bonuses/the doubke album omgggg

"All your life did you know, you'd be picked like a rose"

"No one in my small town thought I'd see the lights of manhattan"

"You look like ,stevie nicks in 75 ,the hair and lips ,crowd goes wild at her fingertips ,a half moon shine ,a full eclipse"

MARAUDERSMARAUDERSMARAUDERSMARAUDERS

"Promise to be dazzling"

"You look like taylor swift in this life were loving it ,you've got edge she never did ,the futures bright ,dazzling"

I'LL POST A RANKING WHEN I DECIDE BUT AHHHHHH

[praphit]

Come Sunday, I'll still be sexy as hell.

In my last post, I talked of wanting to get back into the movie game. I wanted to come back strong with that Quiet Place movie. A movie about apocalyptic monsters who tear people to shreds when they make noise - right up my alley. Unfortunately, life has been a lil cray for me lately, and so I didn't get to see it soon enough. I did see the movie eventually (pretty good btw), but... it's like showing up to a party late, and eating the sloppy seconds of pizza. It has finger indentations on it, hair in it, and toppings have been picked off, but even though it's still good (somehow), it's weird to point that out now, you know?? It's gotta be fresh, baby!

We were on the road this past weekend, and I had some time to kill, so I decided to roll the dice on the Flix! In light of my previous post, I decided option #1 would be "Come Sunday", and stumble across a decent church movie.

OR... option #2 - NIC CAGE!

YES! I love this man like I love deep fried Oreos. When you think about it, it's ridiculous and bad for you. But, if you're in the right mood, and in a moment of weakness, they're frickin magical.

　

Coin flip time, and hence the title of this post, you know Jesus got all up in my coin flip action.

"COME SUNDAY" a simple (based on truth) story of a stereotypical megachurch preacher, who also happens to be a stereotypical black church preacher. At some point he says something crazy at the pulpit, he gets the boot, and has figure out how to keep on keeping on.

But, the real story is in the details:

First detail, this movie stars Chiwetel Ejiofor, as our preacher man (Carlton Pearson). My man CE is sexy as hell in this movie.

I mean he's a good lookin man anyway, but it's like they took time and money (plenty of "Soul Glo" and gold jewelry) into taking him from a 10 to a 15. Now maybe I was influenced by one of the people watching it with me, who kept praising God for CE's sexiness. But, the first scene of this movie confirms it.

He starts talking to some woman on a plane. The way he's looking at her, and she's looking back at him... I'm tryna tell y'all. He is getting her to open up. She mentions something about wanting a baby (keep in mind he just met this woman). Now, the scene ends, and nothing happens, but we all know what went down. The way they were looking at each other, I wouldn't have been surprised if she demanded that they go into the bathroom together and join that club.

Point stands, he's too sexy to be a minister. No way scandal is not happening.

Plus, it's easier for sexy ministers to preach heresy. For example, I love Janelle Monae. If she started a church, and started preaching out of "The Gospel of St Nick", I'd be like, "hmmm... I don't recall that book of the bible, but

(drool)... whatever you say, Pastor Monae."

Speaking of said heresy, it happens when he gets overly emotional while watching some horribleness in Africa vid, and listening to his favorite Christian Album (Snoop Dogg's Gospel Album)

 That's a thing now. No, seriously.

Anyway, you've got to be careful when you're listening to your fave emotional-stirring songs. I listen to N.W.A.'s "Bleep the Police", and I'm like "You know what... yeah! BLEEP THE POLICE!" - if a cop were to be around at that time, I'd get into trouble.

Same thing here, he gets carried away, believes God is speaking to him through this manner, and then COME SUNDAY - he acts a fool, and starts preaching the gospel of inclusion (look it up kids).

Now, regardless of what you or I believe, he should have known this wasn't going to end well for him. Back to my N.W.A parallel. I could get a "revelation" to cover my ride in "BLEEP THE POLICE" stickers, and drive everywhere giving to popo the finger, but at that point it doesn't matter what I believe, it only matters what's going to happen next.

Didn't the Pope say something similar to inclusion recently? But, the people around him kinda left wiggle room. When's he getting his Netflix special? I really hope Nic Cage plays him.

　

More so than the heresy element was the racial element that fascinated me. Like most organizations, the old, rich, white men ruled over our sexy minister, and when he started getting "out of control", they had to step in. Not, only the old, rich, white men, but also the church stepping in. Things get muddy here, because on one hand organizations like churches need rules and structure and discipline, but on the other hand, giving so much power to fallible people... well... y'all know. Of course the old, rich, white people had to have what's known as a "cooler" to help Rev. Dr. Minister Sexy navigate through the muddy waters (Jason Segel, who's really good in this), but even he couldn't take any more.

Another detail of story was the pastor's wife, and her resentment of her husband for being more in love with the church than her, and kinda being disillusioned about being a pastor's wife. And at the same time trying to support him through all of this craziness.

Another detail - a gay music minster. So, you can imagine some of the issues that arose.

This movie is fully loaded!

I only wish that the movie was as fascinating as its talking points.

It's longer than it should be. With 35 mins left, I was ready for it to be over. And I only lasted that long, because I can relate to church culture. And on that note, it was too churchy. Every scene was either in church or a family at a table eating (btw - make sure you've got stuff to eat while watching this movie; it WILL make you hungry - I ain't talkin popcorn and Skittles. I'm talkin fried chicken and yams). I can't believe I'm saying this, but this movie needed Tyler Perry. It needs flair!It needs some side-non-churchy drama! It needs Madea!

The movie also could have used some slaps. If you know me, you know I love my slap scenes. So many missed opps here. The backstabbing, fickle, praying-demons-out-of-everything congregation needed slaps. Pretty much all of the white people in this film needed some slaps. And even Bishop Minister Sexy had a scene where it would have been perfect for him to have been slapped (when he gets kicked out of the church... there is an old man who gets all in the Rev's face; perfect moment for slappage - could have slapped all of that product out of his hair). But... sadly, no. I need to direct!

Michael Bay has his explosions. M. Night has his twist. I want to be known for my slaps!

I also would have played up the struggles of Reverend Sexy's sexiness for sure. Have a scene where he fails the sexy test (meaning he's too sexy for the job). They try things to unsexify him, but nothing works. There's actually a scene in this movie where they dressed my man up like Bill Cosby (pudding pop and all), and still... sexy as hell. All Tyler Perry movies have a cheating no good man somewhere in the storyline - this could have had that too. Minster Evangelist Sexiness has his Tiger Woods moment... possibly having his wife chase him down the street swinging a big thick bible at him. BUT, with some slaps and inspo from Madea, a good soundtrack (thanks Snoop), and the power of God, he's redeemed. But, none of this happens. Sooooo Grade: C

Still without a solid church flick in my memory banks, but that's ok cuz you know what's coming out soon?

Blaow!

We're gonna get away from all of this church and deep talking points soon, and get back to superheroes and aliens beating the holy snot out of each other. As it should be.

Amen.