#nick amaro and reader

[cathrrrine]

how the svu characters would react to you pranking them by texting “i miss being single”

Sonny Carisi

Amanda Rollins

Nick Amaro

Casey Novak

Alex Cabot

Rafael Barba

Olivia Benson

Fin Tutuola

Elliot Stabler

[megalony]

Little Flirt

It's been a while, but this is a new Nick Amaro imagine, requested by the lovely @ilikestuffs-stuff. I hope you will all like it, please let me know what you think.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay

Masterlist

Summary: Nick is about to head home when he realises he's left some stuff at the precinct. So he takes his daughter with him to retrieve them, and the team meet his little girl.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright beautiful," Nick murmured softly as he kissed the top of Sophie's head, brushing his thumb across her rosy cheek when she leaned into him.

He bounced her on his hip, grinning to himself when she cosied up further into his chest like it was the middle of winter and she was trying to keep warm. Her hand was clutching his overcoat and her face was nuzzled down against his shoulder.

When he moved his hand from her cheek to rub up and down her back, she let out a content hum and started tapping her hand against his chest, still clinging to edge of his coat.

It wasn't often that Nick finished early enough to pick Sophie up from daycare, but today had been a half day since he had done the last three days in a row and worked late into the night on each shift. Leaving earlier meant he could pick Sophie up on his way home rather than (Y/n) having to come out and collect her and it meant Nick got a bit of time with his girl, one on one.

He reached the car and sat Sophie in his right arm so he could open the door and lean in to buckle her in. He clipped her in and pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek which caused her to squeal.

She was only eighteen months old, but she was as cheeky as a ten year old and she knew just how to get Nick round her little finger. She was the apple of his eye.

"Are you ready?" He grinned when she smiled and nodded, not knowing what he was asking, only understanding his smile that radiated down at her.

Once she was in, Nick headed round and climbed in the driver's seat. He had livened up when he went in to get Sophie, but now he was starting to feel drained again. He knew once he got home he would be having something to eat and then he would spark out for a nap with Sophie. Neither of them would be doing much for the rest of the afternoon.

He turned on the ignition and glanced to the right when he got his phone from his pocket and tossed it on the passenger seat.

Where were his case files?

A deep frown set in his brow and he leaned across, moving his badge, the few takeout coffee cups and the pacifier and toys he had cluttering the seat. He stretched across to reach into the passenger footwell which seemed to tickle Sophie who giggled like he had just fallen over.

He needed those files. He had to up early in the morning to go down to court and be a witness. He had to have those files so he knew all of the relevant information and he needed the release papers for a suspect. After court Nick was meant to pick up a suspect from the cells. All those documents had to go with him so he could prepare tonight and then take them tomorrow to get the suspect, he couldn't get them released without the paperwork.

"Fuck." He tossed the empty cups and sat back in his seat, closing his eyes as he threw his head back.

Did he even pick them up from his desk? He had been in a rush to leave. The moment Liv said he could go home early, Nick packed up, grabbed his keys and shot out the squad room. He sent (Y/n) a quick message saying he would grab Sophie and would be home soon and came down here.

He didn't remember grabbing those files from his desk drawer.

Turning in his seat, Nick looked into the back where Sophie had her hand stuffed into her mouth, drooling happily as she wriggled from side to side along with the music on the radio.

"We're gonna make a detour to daddy's office, how's that sound?"

When she grinned, Nick reached out to shake her foot playfully before he spun round and put the car into gear. He didn't want to go back. He just wanted to go home, but the station was only ten minutes away and he could be in and out in two minutes. All he had to do was grab the files from his drawer and be right back out again.

He could hear Sophie giggling in the back and it made a smile light up his face. He leaned his elbow on the door and dragged his hand through his hair, brushing the forming curls back and causing them to stand on end in waves. He could feel a headache forming behind his eyes. He needed a drink and something to eat. He needed to sit down with his girls rather than work twenty hours a day on this case.

By the time he got back to the station and parked out front, Nick didn't feel like he had any energy within him to get out, let alone drive back home after he'd grabbed what he needed.

But he pushed himself out the car and ran his hands up and down his face before he opened the back door. No way was he leaving his toddler in the car, even if it would only take him a minute to grab what he needed. Someone snatching his daughter wasn't a risk he would ever take.

"Come're beautiful." He cooed, unstrapping her and cuddling her to his chest once again.

She was at the stage where she could walk now, not amazingly well, Sophie tended to keep her legs straight and kick her feet out a lot. But she could still walk, and if Nick had the time and the energy he would have put her down and let her walk for a bit. But that would take time and he didn't want to risk anyone knocking into her.

People were always rushing around, places to be and interviews they were late for. It wouldn't take much for someone to bump into her and send her flying or step back and stand on her without realising.

He loved the way Sophie looped her arm around the back of his neck and started to kick her legs that were settled around the side of his torso. When he felt her hand begin to bash on his chest as he walked into the reception, he reached up and took hold of her hand.

He swayed their hands back and forth as he headed straight down the hall towards the stairs at the back. He couldn't be bothered to wait for the lift.

"Where are we going? Daddy's work, yeah?" He murmured against the side of her head as they headed up the stairs and he bounced her in his arm just so she would giggle and wriggle against his chest.

The squadroom didn't look as empty as it did when he left. A few people were milling about, waiting for someone to take their statements and to have official interviews. There were more officers in here than usual and the phones were ringing and everyone was moving about trying to answer them.

For a dreaded moment, Nick thought walking back in here might make Liv change her mind and ask him to stay on until late. But when Sophie tapped his chest to get his attention, a wave of ease overcame him. He couldn't. He couldn't be asked to stay when he had his daughter here in his arms. She was his ticket back home.

"What, baby?" He whispered, leaning his head to one side as he tilted back to look at her properly.

His cheeks creased as a wide smile took over his features when his girl patted her hand on his cheek and leaned close. Nick obliged, leaning forward so he could kiss her. She was being sweet. Usually when she wanted a kiss, Sophie would just grab his face roughly in her hands and drag him close so she could get what she wanted.

Once he'd kissed her, twice, Nick smothered his lips against her temple and walked into the room.

He weaved around two officers stood talking to who he presumed would be a new case victim and his hand moved to rub up and down Sophie's back soothingly. He wasn't too sure if the noise in the station and the tense atmosphere might make her uneasy, but she seemed very content and eager to look around.

Once he was stood in front of his desk, Nick leaned forward and pointed towards the photo frame next to the phone.

"Who's that?"

A quiet "Mama," passed Sophie's lips as she grinned, showing off her little teeth and her tongue that poked out and made her look positively devilish.

It was one of Nick's favourite photos from his birthday two years ago, showing him with a dark pair of sunglasses, a beer raised in his hand and his arm around (Y/n). She had the brightest smile he had ever seen and Nick's chin perched on top of her head because (Y/n) always said they were 'like two pieces of a puzzle that slotted together just right.'

Keeping Sophie tilted into his chest, Nick leaned back and bent his knees so he could open his top desk drawer. He rummaged around and nodded to himself when he saw the files he thought he had picked up earlier. Those were what he needed; they could go home now.

Just as he shut the drawer, Nick leaned up straight and his eyes widened when a loud squeal passed Sophie's lips. She started to wriggle and her hand patted against her mouth, making a loud popping sound as she continued to squeal and laugh.

Nick cast his wide eyes around the station, trying to find what had caught his daughter's attention. And a soft sigh passed his lips that curved into a tepid grin when he looked and noticed Amanda heading right in their direction.

She had seen the girl in his arms and was making grabbing hands with wide eyes and an open mouth in shock.

Nick had never brought Sophie down to the station before. He never actually told the rest of the team that he had a little girl waiting at home for him. It never came up. Not everyone divulged personal information until they got to know everyone, and Nick was no different.

He didn't want to talk about Sophie. He never knew who might be listening and with the kind of people they brought in for questioning and had in custody around here, talking about his daughter didn't feel safe. It was easier not to.

She was his little girl and he liked having her as his secret, his and his alone, waiting at home for him.

He let a smile pull at his lips and he leaned Sophie back against his chest when he watched Amanda hurry over towards them.

"Who is this cutie?" Amanda's eyes danced between Nick and the little girl in his arms who she had never seen before. She held her hand out to which Sophie instantly took hold of and began swaying it back and forth in front of her like it was a toy to mess with.

"This is Sophie." He moved her a little bit higher on his hip and braced his other hip against the counter when Sophie started to move.

She began to wriggle around in his arms, swaying from side to side but she kept her left arm looped around Nick's neck like an insurance policy. Making sure he wasn't about to let her go or hand her over to someone she didn't know.

"I didn't know you had nieces."

Amanda smiled and leaned her right hand on the desk while she let Sophie sway her other hand in the air. She smoothed her thumb over the back of her hand and grinned across at her. She had no idea Nick had any kids in his family. She knew he had a little sister and that he was close to all the women in his family, but she didn't know much other than that.

"Uh, I don't. This is my baby girl." It was as if Sophie understood every word he said because she flashed her pearly whites and let go of Amanda's hand to grip the collar of his shirt instead. "Careful," He murmured, leaning his head forward towards her so she didn't strangle him with the force she yanked on his collar.

"Oh, wow." The surprise was evident in her eyes but her smile never wavered as she folded her arms over her chest and perched on the edge of his desk.

This was a new development.

Nick pressed a kiss to Sophie's cheek when she began tugging on his collar, subsequently undoing the first few buttons in the process. When she wriggled again, Nick sighed through a smile and leaned down, letting her stand on her own two feet.

There weren't many people nearby so she wasn't in danger of bumping into anyone or getting in the way. He would follow right behind her like a shadow if she tried to wander off and he would scoop her up if needed.

He could see she was excited at the prospect of being able to toddle around, her wide eyes were roaming around as if she was searching for trouble to scout out.

"How old is she?"

"Eighteen months." Nick folded his arms over the back of his chair but when he clocked his eyes on the files he had placed on his desk, he moved one hand to his pocket. He fished around for his keys and placed them on top of the file of documents, that way he wouldn't forget them for a second time.

His eyes followed Sophie as she started to bend her knees like she was doing a little dance. And when she twisted her head to look up at her dad like she was searching for approval, Nick grinned down at her and poked his tongue between his teeth.

A loud babble left her lips and she turned around, stomping her feet down on the spot before she looked in the other direction near the coffee station.

Nick looked behind him to see what had caught his daughter's attention and he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck when he realised she was looking over at Carisi.

Well, he knew bringing Sophie into the squad meant them all finding out about her, and it was too late now anyway. Amanda had already seen her and would no doubt fill in the rest of the team if he left now. He may as well let his girl wander round and see the team for a bit before they headed back home.

And it was endearing to see the way Carisi rose a brow and planted his hands on his hips when he saw the little girl staring intently at him.

She grinned, tangling her hands in front of her as she slowly trotted towards him, kicking her feet rather than properly bending her knees as she walked. Nick was rather surprised that she was so eager to go up to him, she was usually a little nervous and apprehensive around people she didn't know.

But with a wide grin that showed off her teeth and her tongue poking out, Sophie headed over to Carisi who squatted down to be level with her. He clasped his hands together between his thighs and smiled sweetly at her when she got close.

"Hi there sweetheart, where'd you come from?" When she tapped on his arm, Carisi held his hands out to see what she wanted. He let her take his hand but he was more than surprised when she shuffled forward to stand up close to him so their noses were almost touching.

A little babble left her lips and her eyes creased when she grinned which caused her nose to crinkle. She patted her hand down on his and said something else that Carisi couldn't make head nor tails of.

His eyes widened when her arms suddenly looped around his neck. She tugged and pulled until he realised she wanted to be picked up.

"Ahh…" His eyes scanned around, trying to see whose child she was so he wasn't overstepping any boundaries.

She could be the kid of a victim who had come in to make a statement. Carisi doubted she would be a suspect's child or in a suspect's custody or else the protective services would already be here to take her somewhere safe. And uniformed police wouldn't come here with their children, so he figured she was either a victim's child or one of their own detective's kid.

He narrowed his eyes when he caught Nick and Amanda both watching him and when Nick nodded, Carisi gingerly lifted the little girl up and stood back to his feet.

He walked over towards them, looking between them and the little girl who seemed to have taken a liking to him.

"What's your name?" He murmured softly, raising a brow when all he got in return was a quiet but rather chirpy 'fee'.

"Sophie." Nick corrected, emphasising the first syllable which his girl hadn't managed to master yet. He found it rather endearing the way she could only say the last syllable of her name, but they were working on pronouncing as she was finally starting to get some vocabulary.

"Don't tell me she's yours." Carisi bounced her in his arms, admiring the way she started to giggle and how it caused her to look rather devilish when she squinted her eyes and flashed her front teeth.

"My baby," He confirmed, holding his hands out to take her back into his arms. He kissed her cheek and rubbed his hand up and down her back, but he rose a brow when she kept looking over towards Carisi.

Her hands gathered against her chest like she was praying and when Carisi leaned down a little to look at her, she burst into a fit of giggles. She buried her cheek into her dad's neck, half hiding her face as she cuddled into him, clearly flustered at the attention. She had found a new friend.

"You're a little flirt, you know that?" Nick commented with a huff of indignation as he looked at his little girl.

Of course she didn't know what he was saying, but she knew enough to tilt her head up and kiss his cheek like she was buttering him up. Sophie already knew all she had to do was kiss Nick or cuddle up to him and she would have him wrapped around her finger.

"She's adorable, why didn't you tell us you had a little girl?"

"Just never came up." Nick murmured back while he smothered his lips against the top of his girl's head.

He bounced her in his arms and swayed from left to right as she cuddled into him again. He could tell that she was getting tired, she would be due a nap soon and Nick was already running on his last energy reserves. They both needed to head home for the afternoon and recover.

"Who let you two back in the building?"

Liv's voice rung out through the air and pointed across to her so Sophie would look and see who was heading their way towards the middle of the squad room.

"Hi Sophie, hi." A bright smile lit up Liv's face and she reached her hand out to brush Sophie's cheek. "How are you?" Her other hand tucked into her pocket and she leaned her head to one side as Sophie nodded. The happy expression on her face told Liv that she was okay and had been since the last time she had seen her.

"You knew, about her?"

"Of course I knew."

Nick could hardly keep this kind of information from Liv when she was his partner at work. She had seen him take a few worried calls from (Y/n), regarding their daughter. She had also seen Sophie on a few occasions. And now Liv was their Captain, she had to know who Nick's emergency contacts were and any dependants he had back home that relied on him.

She needed to know about his family in case anything happened to him on the job and she had to alert his emergency contact. Or if something happened at home and Nick would need to leave work to be with his family.

"Do you want a chocolate, sweetie?" Reaching behind her, Amanda scoured her desk until she found the bar of chocolate she hadn't opened yet. She was more than willing to share with the newest member of their team.

Nick turned to look at Amanda, a tender smile on his face but he shook his head.

He looked down at his girl, dragging his hand softly up and down her back while he murmured "What do we say?" against her temple and shook his head again.

All eyes fell onto Sophie when she lifted one hand and gently shook her index finger along with twisting her head from left to right. A quiet round of "No, no no," left her lips which caused a few soft laughs to befall the group as they watched her.

"She's allergic to milk, aren't you baby?"

They had to be cautious what they gave Sophie, she was allergic to most types of milk, even the baby formula. They had to buy a special product that didn't flare her skin up in blotches or make her throat swell or cause her to be sick. It meant no cheese, no regular drinking milk, no chocolate and they had to check all the treats and food they gave Sophie to try since she was able to eat little bits of normal food now.

When she got older they would have to buy her special varieties of chocolate that was made without milk and find biscuits and lots of snacks that she would be able to have.

"Oh, sorry. I'll find you some milk-free treats next time, honey." Amanda tossed the bar back on her desk before Sophie set her sights on it and got upset if she couldn't have it. She would get some little treats in for whenever Nick decided to bring her by the station next.

"Alright, we're gonna go home now, we only came back in for these." With his keys hooked onto his thumb, he grabbed the file he needed and eased Sophie back down to her feet so she could walk for a little bit and tire herself out. He held his hand out in front of her and traced his thumb over the back of her hand as she leaned into his leg.

"Bring her back to see us soon, won't you?" Amanda patted his shoulder and waved at Sophie who grinned, but it was clear she was starting to get tired.

"You saying bye?"

He motioned the file out towards the team, grinning softly when Sophie started to wave and babbled something akin to bye-bye.

Carisi leaned against his desk and crossed one leg over the other and when he waved, he muttered a soft "Bye cutie." And he couldn't help but laugh when she grinned and cuddled closer to Nick. She bounced up and down, bending her knees again and leaning back and forth until Nick started to walk, encouraging her to walk with him.

She kept looking back over her shoulder, grinning and babbling as she looked back at the team until she was finally in the corridor, out of sight. It was safe to say she had made some new friends back there.

***

A tender look crossed (Y/n)'s face when she padded into the living room. Reaching over, she softly turned the volume down on the tv that was playing an old Disney movie in the background, but her eyes were solely focused on the sight on the sofa.

Nick was in his slacks, a pair of grey joggers and a matching hoodie that looked a size too big for him. He had his feet hanging over the arm of the sofa, one arm bent behind his head which would surely make his hands and fingers go numb. And there on his chest, was Sophie.

The toddler was curled up on his chest, her head tucked into the crook of his neck with Nick's chin perched on top of her head. He had his left arm curved around her frame that looked small and petite with her knees tucked into her tummy and her frame as small as possible on his chest.

Moving over to them, (Y/n) gently squished down on the edge of the sofa, bumping into his hip as she did. She pulled the blanket from the back of the sofa and draped it across the pair of them before she slowly leaned forward and pecked his temple.

Her lips curved into a grin when Nick tilted his head back with a quiet grumble and he smiled. His eyes stayed closed, but he expertly tilted his head until he could brush his nose against hers and capture her in a kiss.

"You two look comfy." (Y/n) murmured against his lips as she moved her hand to hold his shoulder, steadying herself above him so she didn't fall down onto him and crush him or their girl.

She could see how tired he looked when he finally opened his eyes that were glazed and hazy as he looked up at her.

Nick unhooked his arm from behind his head and grazed his tingling fingertips across her cheek and down her skin so he could cup the back of her neck.

"Hm," He glanced his eyes down to Sophie who was dead to the world, breathing softly into his hoodie and creating a damp patch where she was starting to drool around her pacifier. "There's room for one more." Nick murmured.

He kept one arm looped around Sophie, making sure she didn't move or become disturbed while he inched to the left. He pressed his hip up against the back of the sofa and twisted a little so there was more room beside him for (Y/n).

He and their girl were too comfy to move at the moment. He wasn't sure what time it was, but Nick knew he would have to take Sophie upstairs and settle her to bed soon. But not yet. He had gotten showered, had tea and changed Sophie into her pyjamas before they sat down to watch a movie. He didn't intend to fall asleep but he couldn't help it. Once Sophie dozed off, Nick wasn't far behind.

He trailed his hand down (Y/n)'s neck and along her side until he tugged her back so she would take the hint and lie with them.

(Y/n) smiled and shuffled around, trying to lay on her left side without toppling backwards and falling off the sofa. She hooked her right leg over Nick's leg, pressing her knee into his, practically straddling his thigh. Her right arm looped over Sophie's back and she smiled when Nick draped the blanket over her too.

She nuzzled her head into his shoulder, smiling to herself as she cosied up into the hood of his hoodie that was scrunched up around his neck. It smelled of comfort and his aftershave and Nick was as warm as a hot water bottle.

She loved the way he started to drag his fingertips up and down her side, along her hip and over her thigh like he was drawing patterns into her skin and writing secret messages to her.

"This is nice." She whispered into his hoodie, closing her eyes that suddenly felt overwhelmed and tired. The three of them might just ending up sleeping down here if none of them had the energy to move soon.

Nick pressed a soft kiss to the top of (Y/n)'s head, keeping his lips there for a while as he breathed in the scent of her raspberry shampoo. His eyes fell closed and he could already feel himself on the verge of falling back asleep.

This was what he liked the most. After being stuck in the squad room for hours on end going through paperwork and case files and finding links and information and names. After seeing things he wished he hadn't witnessed and supporting victims who were broken, sometimes beyond repair, this is what kept him going.

This is what kept Nick going through those moments that stretched into days. He blundered on so he could have moments like this, with one of his girls in each arms. Laid out, no worries, no problems, no victims flashing before his eyes, no screams rattling around in his head. No danger, no paperwork, no stress.

Just him and his girls.

[p3ndeja6]

₊ ⊹🪻 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🔮

n.amaro x reader

summary: you were younger then nick by a couple of years, and sometimes he’d come over to your apartment after late nights at the precinct, he’d come over to just enjoy peace and serenity

content: fluff, reader is in school (2nd or 3rd year of college) suggestive acts (nothing extreme), age gap!, mentions of sexual abuse due to svu cases, nothing too triggering, just a fluffy one shot overall

super short

✧ ✧

it was late at night, you were working on an essay that was due by the end of the week.. you were getting strained and decided to take a break and call it a day.

You made yourself a quick meal, spicy buldak noodles, a sandwich and your favorite drink that was saved in the fridge. You prepared your meal as you were watching your favorite show. you were almost done preparing your late-night snack when you heard the doorknob shake.

You lived a pretty safe vicinity so the chances of a burgler were slim, but you still were vigilant about your safety, you quickly grabbed your broom and held it tight.

Upon your discovery, the door opened and you saw your boyfriend… nick.

You sighed of relief, and he looked at you worried

“Jesus Nick, you scared me!” “geez sorry, i thought this neighbor was safe?”

you put the broom down, “I mean it is but you never know” “yeah.. tell me about it”

he walked to you as you went back in finishing preparing your ramen, he went behind you and grabbed you hips and nuzzled his head in between your neck, kissing you, making you giggle due to his stubble

he continued and you moved your head slightly to give him more access, he took this as a sign to continue. You tried not to get distracted but you let a soft moan escape.

he laughed,and started moving up your body; cupping your boobs. You laughed and finally pushed him away

“stop Nick” you laughed “I want to eat, I’ve been working on an assignment for the past 5 hours.” he let go and laughed “my hard working girl, okay okay I’ll let you eat but next time, you’re all mine!”

you shook your head in sarcasm, he took of his jacket and unbuttoned his white shirt a couple of buttons down, and took off his shoes. He adjusted himself on your couch, and laid there with his eyes closed taking in the aroma therapy essential oils diffuser thats going around your room.

you look at him, now realizing that he’s here strangely. Nick stops by late nights most weekends or if it’s a weekday he’ll let you know earlier in the day if he’s stopping by, but it’s currently a Tuesday at 12:36 am.

“hey Nick?”

he hummed in response, most likely getting sleepy

“not to sound rude or anything.. but why are you here? It’s late on a Tuesday night, shouldn’t you be at your place?”

He opened one eye and looked over at you

“do you not want me here?” He said a bit suspicious

“oh god, no like yeah I do, but I just realized what day it was and you know you usually let me know when you’re coming over and it’s usually weekends you spend the night with me, I just found it odd you came to visit me tonight” “I love it when you’re here really”

you finally finished your ramen and took it towards the couch where Nick was, and started eating as you waited for a response.

he was hesitant in his answer, he seemed stressed and frustrated.

“today we had a tough case.. a rape case..”

you look at him attentively, making sure you are hearing him and that he has your fullest attention.

you nod in continuous

“and well… it’s about a 8 year old girl who’s after school teacher has been acting inappropriately with her.. you know like touching her where she shouldn’t be touched”

“oh my god” was what you let out

“yeah, and her home life isn’t easy, this one was a bit tough to work on dude to how young and bright this little girl is. I hate to see anyone take it away from her”

you put your ramen down and get close to him, caressing his hand.

“and being here.. with you just brings me peace. All is perfect here, so sorry i came unexpected but i really needed to see you”

you smiled at him

“awe baby, you know you are always welcomed here, I love having you here, never goes a day where I don’t miss you”

you make him look at you and caress his cheek, looking so attentively at his eyes, leaning in and kissing him so gracefully.

he takes you in, and guides a hand on your neck. You move to his lap and continue to kiss him, sucking on each others lips, and you slightly grinding on him

he groans a bit and you continue to bit his lip. You pull away with his lip in between your teeth and stare at him and run a finger across his now plumped lips

“thank you for coming over”

“thank you for having me”

[fatecantstopme]

I Can't Walk Away

Pairing: Nick Amaro x plus size!reader

Summary: When you and your boyfriend break up, you're faced with the seemingly impossible task of putting yourself back together. Luckily for you, your very handsome coworker is more than happy to help along the way.

Warnings: Body image issues, low self-esteem, mentions of toxic/abusive relationships, cursing, use of pet names. SMUT, light dom/sub vibes, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V).

A/N: This was entirely self-indulgent and I have no regrets.

Spanish Translations:

Querida: sweetheart/darling

Hermosa: beautiful

Mierda: shit

Por favor: please

Si: yes

All other translations will be after the sentence in brackets/italics.

You dropped onto Olivia's couch with a huff, tears still threatening to break through your stubborn facade.

"Are we gonna talk about it or do I need to have someone beat him up?" Liv asked you, a small smirk gracing her face.

"As much as I'd love to see his ass get handed to him, I think we should avoid committing any crimes," you said lightly.

Olivia sighed softly and reached over to put her arm around you. You leaned into her shoulder and began to let your guard drop. Olivia had been your best friend for over a decade now, your time working together in SVU having brought you closer than you could have imagined.

"He was an asshole, (Y/N/N)," she said softly. "You deserve better."

"You say that, but I guess I just don't believe it," you muttered.

It nearly broke her heart to hear you speak so negatively of yourself, but she knew no matter how many uplifting words she spoke, you would still refuse to believe her.

"Maybe there's something wrong with me," you whispered, tears finally beginning to fall. "Maybe I'm broken--unloveable."

"Hey," she chided. "You are so many things, (Y/N), but broken and unloveable are not among them."

She tightened her grip on you, pulling you into a proper side hug. She let you cry into her shoulder, her own heart breaking along with yours.

You knew, objectively, she was right--your now-ex was indeed an asshole. He'd never treated you well and had often put you down and made you feel terrible about yourself. Your self-esteem had been lower than usual when you met him and in the 6 months you'd been together, he'd managed to destroy whatever vestige of self-love you had left.

There wasn't a single thing about you he didn't belittle. Whether it was your physical appearance, your career, your hobbies, your dreams...he made you feel like everything you ever did was a mistake. In his estimation, you were too fat, unintelligent, boring...and your choice in career was just about the worst thing you could do.

You'd made it your mission in life to help the victims of particularly heinous crimes, which is why you'd been working at SVU for almost 12 years. You were the squad's forensic psychologist, and you loved your work. In many respects, it was the one thing that really brought joy to your life. It was your greatest passion--and the amount of time you spent at work certainly showed it.

Yet during those 6 months with him...your love for the job had begun to wane. Every time you'd stay late or have to cancel a date, he'd berate you for it--mocking your job and your inability to 'be a real person'. Now that you'd finally taken the leap and broken up with him, you were hopeful you could fall back in love with your work.

In this moment, however, all you could think about were the horrible things he'd said to you when you told him you wanted to break up. He'd been especially cruel, calling out every physical insecurity you had and making you feel like an absolute pile of human garbage. He'd called you fat, ugly, unloveable, gross...and a million other things you couldn't bear to repeat.

You weren't thin--you knew that, but you weren't gross. That was just offensive. Unfortunately, he wasn't the first ex to make comments about your weight--something you'd been struggling with for most of your adult life. The words had hit you harder than you'd expected, making you actually think he might be right...maybe you were the problem.

Olivia's voice broke you out of your thoughts, "Do you want to stay here tonight?"

You just nodded, not trusting your voice to answer her properly.

She squeezed you a little tighter, her reassuring presence grounding you in ways you desperately needed. You were always thankful for her friendship, but it was moments like this where you were reminded how much she really meant to you.

**********

You'd spent most of the weekend at Olivia's and by the time Monday rolled around, you were feeling a little bit better. She always knew what to do and say to make everything okay. It was a gift you'd always envied and appreciated.

It was very typical of you to be the first person in the office, having been an early riser most of your life. So you were more than a little surprised when you walked into the precinct Monday morning and spotted Nick Amaro sitting at his desk.

"You're in early," you commented lightly in lieu of greeting.

He turned his gaze to look over at you and shot you a disarming smile. "I couldn't sleep, so I figured I might as well get a head start on some paperwork I've been putting off."

"Wise man. Wouldn't want to upset the boss."

He grinned. "She's strict." His voice was teasing and warm and it made you feel something in your gut you always tried to ignore.

In truth, you were extremely attracted to Nick--it was undeniable. You had not, nor would you ever, tell him or act on it. Nick was so far out of your league it wasn't even funny. Besides, he was newly single, still fresh from his divorce.

"She can be calmed with good coffee and blueberry muffins," you said conspiratorially.

Nick chuckled. "I'm gonna have to write that down."

You offered him a smile before continuing past him to your office. You were surprised when his voice stopped you after a few steps.

"How was your weekend?"

You turned back to face him. "Friday was absolute shit," you said honestly. "But I spent Saturday and part of yesterday with Liv, so it's better now."

A look of concern crossed his face. "Everything okay?"

You feigned a smile. "Everything's fine. Thanks for asking."

His eyes narrowed as he gazed at you skeptically. "Is it that guy again?"

Your cheeks darkened, embarrassed Nick even knew about your ex. "We broke up."

Nick almost looked relieved. "I would say sorry, but it wouldn't be honest. I never liked the guy--he didn't treat you right."

You were surprised he paid enough attention to the things you said to know just how badly your ex had treated you. "Oh?"

Nick stood up and took a couple steps closer to you. He was still a professional distance away, but he could speak quieter so only you could hear him.

"You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. You're an amazing woman, (Y/N), and a good man would never treat you the way he did. He clearly didn't recognize your worth."

His words slammed into you with surprising force. "I-um-thank you," you muttered softly.

"You can thank me by dating a man who will love you the way you deserve," he said lowly. "Como una reina." [Like a queen.]

His last three words were so quiet you weren't even sure you'd heard him properly--or if you were supposed to hear them at all. You weren't fluent in Spanish by any means, but you understood the basics...enough to know he'd said something about a queen. That is, if you heard him correctly.

You were about to ask him to elaborate when Olivia came into the squad room. She sent a warm smile your way and issued greetings to both you and Nick. Her arrival broke whatever spell Nick had been under, and he went back to his desk quietly.

You went into your office, leaving the door open behind you so you could hear the goings on and the arrival of the rest of the squad. There were plenty of things for you to do, but you couldn't get Nick's words out of your head.

**********

Olivia looked up from her computer when Nick knocked on the doorframe entering her office.

"Mind if I come in?" he asked.

"Sure," she said with a smile.

He came in and quietly shut the door behind him.

"Uh-oh...closed door conversation? Everything okay?"

"With me, yes," he answered. "But I wanted to ask you something and I don't want anyone overhearing."

"Okay..."

"It's about (Y/N)."

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "What about her?"

"She mentioned she'd spent the weekend with you and she and that asshole broke up."

Olivia chuckled softly, glad to hear she wasn't the only one who hated your ex.

"I know it's not really my business, but I can tell something is really upsetting her. Hell, I've noticed a change in her since the moment they started dating--and not in a good way."

"He isn't a good person," Olivia conceded.

"Tell me about it," Nick muttered. "Anyway, I just--well, I just want to know if she's okay? I mean, really okay."

"Why don't you ask her?"

"I did, but I know she wasn't being honest with me."

Olivia sighed. She had a feeling he was asking about you for a reason, but she wasn't sure it was her place to tell him the truth. She was torn between being honest with her partner and keeping her best friend's pain to herself.

"I don't know if it's my place to tell you, but he did say some particularly cruel things about her when she broke up with him."

Nick's eyes narrowed and Olivia could see the anger flare in them. "What did he say to her?" Even his voice was laced with fury--the mere idea someone would hurt you sent him off the edge.

"I can't tell you," Olivia answered. "But if you really want to know, then I think you should talk to her. She trusts you, so she may open up to you."

Nick nodded, anger still boiling beneath the surface. "You're right--I didn't mean to intrude or anything."

Olivia shook her head. "It's alright. I know you care about her...I guess I'm just a little surprised by your anger."

He winced slightly, feeling embarrassed for his display of emotion. "I don't like the idea of some guy making her feel like shit."

"Neither do I," she said honestly. "I am curious though...what made you ask about her?"

"Wha-what do you mean?"

Olivia smiled slowly. "I mean, why do you want to know badly enough to ask me?"

Nick had a feeling Olivia could see right through him--they'd been partners for a few years after all. He wasn't sure how to answer--or if he wanted to be entirely truthful. In the end, he opted for vague honesty. "I care about her."

Olivia watched his expression in silence for a long moment before responding. "So do I."

Nick could see the meaning behind her words as clearly as if she'd spoken them aloud--don't hurt my friend. He didn't say it, but he hoped Olivia knew he would never hurt you...it would break his heart.

**********

"Hey (Y/N/N). You busy?"

You looked up to see Nick standing in your office doorway, leaning against the frame. You swallowed thickly as you pushed down the improper thoughts blazing through your mind at the sight.

"Uh--no. What's up?"

He stepped into the room, edging closer to your desk. "I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner tonight. My treat."

You raised your eyebrows at him, unsure of the cause of his request. "Is there some sort of celebration I'm unaware of?"

He chuckled lightly. "Other than your new-found freedom, no. I just...well, I wanted to spend a little time with you. Ya know, if you want."

You bit your bottom lip as you contemplated his offer. "Well, I don't have any other plans, so why not?"

He grinned. "Excellent. Do you want time to go home first or just leave from here?"

You looked down at your outfit, suddenly feeling very frumpy and unattractive. You knew he wasn't asking you out on a date--just a friend inviting you to dinner to cheer you up. Even still, you really didn't want to go out looking like this. "Do you mind if I go home and change first?"

"Not at all. I can pick you up from your place, if you'd like?"

"Oh, uh-yeah. Sure."

He smiled again. "Perfect. 6:30?"

You nodded. "Sounds good."

You watched him walk out of your office, mind racing as you tried to figure out his motivations and what the hell you were gonna wear.

**********

By the time 6pm rolled around, you'd managed to change your clothes somewhere in the realm of 50 times, and you still weren't entirely satisfied. Even your favorite outfit didn't feel right--you could hear your ex's voice in the back of your mind telling you everything you tried on looked bad.

You dug further into your closet, looking for something simple--cover the things you wanna hide and accentuate the things you wanna show off. Your eyes fell on a beautiful black dress you'd actually never worn. You'd purchased it on a whim because you'd loved it in the store and Olivia had insisted it was too perfect to pass up on.

You pulled the dress off the hanger and put it on, pleased it still fit properly. When you turned to look in the mirror, you almost didn't recognize yourself--you actually felt pretty. The bodice of the dress was tight, but the lower half was flowy. The material was a soft, stretch satin, with a low neckline and flutter sleeves. The dress hit right above your knees and it practically screamed for a pair of heels.

You found your favorite black pumps, slipping them on and smiling at your reflection. You put on some jewelry to spice up the look, sprayed your favorite perfume, and double checked your hair and makeup one last time. You didn't wear much makeup on the daily, so you didn't go too wild with your makeup for the evening. You'd added some eyeliner and lipstick, but otherwise you looked natural. You'd actually been having a good hair day already, so you were pleased to see it was still behaving properly.

You'd just put the last finishing touches on the outfit when you heard the buzzer ring. You quickly went to answer it, and upon hearing Nick's voice, told him you'd be right down.

You took one last look in the mirror, took a deep breath, and headed downstairs feeling both excited and trepidatious. You reminded yourself once again this was just two friends having dinner--purely platonic...but you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't want it to be an actual date.

Nick was waiting just outside the front entrance to your apartment building, and he turned around when he heard the door open. Nothing could have prepared you for the look on his face when he saw you.

"Santa mierda," he breathed. "You look incredible." [Holy shit.]

You blushed and looked away. "Thank you," you mumbled softly.

He stepped towards you and gently touched your chin, lifting your face to meet his gaze. "You're very welcome."

He dropped his hand, but his eyes stayed fixed on your face for a long moment. "Do you like Italian?" he asked.

"Of course," you answered, silently pleased your voice sounded normal.

"Excellent." He gestured towards his car and you followed behind him. He opened the passenger door and helped you in before getting in the driver's seat.

The drive wasn't very long, and your nerves kept you quiet for most of the ride. You listened to him chatter on about nothing, simply enjoying the sound of his voice.

When you arrived at the restaurant, he once again opened your door and helped you out, but this time his hand didn't leave yours. He placed your hand through the loop he'd made with his arm and guided you to the entrance.

Once you were seated, your nerves began to ratchet up even higher. Unfortunately for you, Nick was both an extremely good detective and an annoyingly perceptive person. As such, he noticed your discomfort immediately.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," you lied.

"It's just me, (Y/N/N)," he said quietly.

You exhaled slowly--realizing he was right. It was Nick for God's sake. He was your colleague, your friend. There was no reason to be nervous. "You're right."

He smiled, reaching across the table to squeeze your hand. He pulled it back to his side of the table as the server arrived for your drink order.

You were grateful for the glass of wine he delivered moments later, lifting it to your lips almost immediately. You knew the liquid would calm your nerves--maybe then you wouldn't embarrass yourself.

"I'm glad you agreed to have dinner with me," Nick said softly as he sipped his own glass of wine.

"I was a little surprised, in all honesty."

"That I asked or that you agreed?" he teased lightly.

You smiled. "Definitely the former."

"I hate seeing you upset," he admitted. "I thought I might be able to cheer you up a little."

"Thanks, Nick. You're a good friend."

His face fell slightly, but he quickly hid it behind a soft smile. "May I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Whatever he was going to ask was cut off by the arrival of the server to take your food order.

As soon as the server left the table, Nick leaned forward and lowered his voice. "What did he say to you that hurt you so much?"

"What?"

"Your ex."

Your expression shifted and you looked down at the table. "It doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

"Why?"

"Because whatever he said hurt you--and I'm willing to bet my career that he was wrong."

Your eyes snapped back up to meet his. His expression was deadly serious, yet it somehow put you at ease in a way only Nick could. "He said some unpleasant things about my physical appearance that I could have lived without hearing."

Surprise lit up his handsome face. "Unpleasant things about your appearance? I'll bet my life he was wrong."

Now it was your turn to be surprised. "I wouldn't make that bet, Nick."

"I'm confident. Tell me what he said and I'll judge for myself."

You took a deep breath, exhaling slowly before giving him a quick overview. "Essentially he said I'm unattractive and fat--I recall the word 'gross' being used as well."

Nick's temper flared instantly, the urge to punch that son of a bitch in the face nearly overwhelming. "He said what?"

Even if you didn't know Nick, you would have been able to see the rage simmering in his eyes, hear it in his tone. "It's not a big deal."

"If he was here, I'd launch him through a window. Bastard."

"I'm okay," you reassured him quietly.

Your soft voice grounded him, as it so often did, and he felt his anger dissipating. He was still angry, but the urge to hunt that asshole down had begun to fade.

"He was wrong, you know."

"Huh?"

"He was wrong. Not only are you one of the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on, but your body is perfectly proportioned--deliciously soft and curvy. You're about as far from gross as a human being can be."

He spoke with such conviction, such assuredness, that you almost believed him--almost.

"While I appreciate the compliment, Nick, you've never seen me naked...your opinion would change, trust me."

Nick's eyes flared with a new kind of intensity. "I highly doubt that."

"His did," you said quietly.

"He clearly didn't know what he had."

Your eyes met his, shoulders tense, discomfort obvious in every movement you made.

"Listen to me, (Y/N). I'll say it as many times as it takes for you to believe me--I think you're gorgeous. Stunning. Elegante. Sin fin perfecta." [Elegant. Endlessly perfect.] He reached for your hand and you let him take it in his. "You are a prize, (Y/N). Any man worth a damn would be honored to call you his."

You didn't know what to say. His words surprised you and warmed your soul at the same time. You could also feel the familiar tightening in your gut, accompanied by an entire swarm of butterflies dancing in your stomach.

"Forget every terrible thing he ever said to you, hermosa. Let me fill your mind with praise. Let me remind you of your beauty, inside and out, of your brilliance, of your kindness, your empathy...of all the little things that make you the incredible woman you are."

"Nick..." you whispered, his name the only coherent thing you were able to utter.

The moment was shattered by the arrival of your food. You'd been hungry when you sat down at the table, but your body was now flooded with a very different kind of hunger--a hunger you now believed Nick shared.

"Thank you, Nick," you said softly. "I know it's not nearly enough, but thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. I meant every word."

You gave him a small smile. "Still..."

He returned the expression.

The two of you ate in silence for several minutes, minds clearly elsewhere. After a while, Nick noticed you'd done more moving the food around the plate than actually eating and he called you out on it.

"Eat your food, querida. You'll need your strength."

Your head snapped up, eyes meeting his gaze. "For what?"

He leaned forward. "If you'll let me, I'm going to spend several hours showing you exactly how sexy I think you are."

You gulped. "And how do you plan on doing that?"

He grinned wolfishly. "By worshipping that amazing body of yours...over and over again, until you're screaming my name."

You suddenly found it very difficult to breathe, let alone eat. Nick, on the other hand, went right back to eating his food as if he hadn't just threatened you with an incredibly good time.

You had to force yourself to focus on your food, desperately trying to ignore the throbbing between your legs.

As soon as the meal was over, Nick asked for the check and paid, revealing just how desperate he was to get back to your place.

Once again, he helped you into the car, only this time his hand lingered on the small of your back.

Anticipation flooded through you as Nick drove through the streets of the city. You'd wanted him for so long--never once thinking he'd reciprocate the desire. Despite his words earlier in the evening, you still felt a shred of self-doubt...worrying he might not find you as attractive once you were naked.

"Where's that pretty head at, querida?" he asked softly, noticing your anxiety.

"Can you promise me something?"

"Of course."

"If you don't want to go through with this...you know, when you see me without my clothes on...please just tell me. I don't want you to feel like you have to do something you don't wanna do."

He reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly. "I don't have to promise that because I know what I want, (Y/N)...and that's you. You could be a alien underneath those clothes and I'd still want you."

You laughed lightly. "I promise I'm not an alien."

He grinned. "Then we're gonna be just fine, baby."

You closed your eyes, silently willing yourself to believe him. You trusted him with your life--something you'd never experienced with any of your past relationships. Every fiber of your being told you Nick would never hurt you on purpose--never. You just needed to trust him--let go of your pain and give in to your desires.

When you finally made it back to your apartment, Nick gave you a gentle reminder. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to, (Y/N)."

"I want to," you whispered.

He inhaled slowly and took a step towards you. "Say 'no' or 'stop' and I'll stop immediately, okay? No hard feelings--I won't push you."

"I don't want to say no, Nick."

He took another step towards you, effectively backing you against the wall. "If you wanna stop--"

"Nick, please just kiss me," you begged softly.

He groaned softly before leaning in to press his lips to yours. His kiss was like fire and ice--more addictive than any drug known to man. He kissed you like you were the air he needed to breathe--like he would rather suffocate to death than stop.

He pressed his warm body against yours, wedging his knee between your thighs to keep you from squeezing them together. His tongue tangled with yours, quickly asserting dominance as he deepened the kiss.

Your hands went to the buttons on his white button down, quickly undoing them in a desperate need to feel his skin. He helped you remove the shirt, followed by his undershirt, leaving his toned chest bare for you to see.

You bit your lip and stifled a soft groan as you appreciated his form.

"You can touch me, querida," he said softly. "I wanna feel your soft hands on my skin."

You did as he asked, hands gliding over his smooth, tan skin. He sighed softly and leaned into your touch, lips grazing your jaw affectionately.

Your hands traveled to his hips and you began to loosen his belt. He allowed you to unbutton his pants and he helped you remove them.

"I think you're a bit overdressed for the occasion, hermosa," he teased huskily.

You tensed slightly, a feeling of dread washing over you.

Of course, Nick felt it and instantly began to sooth your worries. "You can keep on as much as you want, querida, but I want to see you. I've wanted to touch you like this since the day I met you. But if you're more comfortable keeping your clothes on, that's alright."

You looked up at him, his dark eyes warm and honest. You took a deep breath and pushed him back slightly, giving yourself the room to pull your dress off over your head.

You dropped your dress to the ground, but your eyes didn't meet his gaze--you couldn't even bring yourself to look at his face, too afraid of what you might see there.

"Querida, por favor," Nick whispered. "Look at me."

You looked up at him slowly, a soft gasp leaving your lips as you took in his hungry expression.

"I wanna kiss every square inch of your beautiful body, hermosa. Will you let me?"

You nodded tentatively.

"I need to hear you say it, baby," he pleaded.

"I want you Nick, please."

He groaned and pressed his body against yours again. "Say that again, querida."

"I want you," you whispered.

"Fuck--" He slammed his lips against yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth almost immediately. You melted in his arms, reveling in the feeling of his body against yours.

He finally pulled away to catch his breath, but his hands didn't leave your body. Now that he'd touched you so intimately, he never wanted to stop.

"Come with me," he whispered, before guiding you to your bedroom. "Lay down on the bed for me, querida."

You did as he asked, noticing how his eyes never left your body.

He made sure you were looking at him before he began to lower his boxer briefs, slowly revealing his large cock. He was already painfully hard, a bead of precum lingering at the tip.

You licked your lips in anticipation, an action he noticed with pride.

"Like what you see, hermosa?"

"Very much so."

He smiled and climbed onto the bed, covering your soft body with his hard one. "May I take off your bra?"

You nodded.

"Baby..." he said in a clear warning tone.

You understood his meaning instantly, a flood of arousal going straight to your core at the order. "Yes, papi."

His eyes widened for a moment, surprised and pleased at your use of the title. "Such a good girl, aren't you?"

A soft moan left your lips at the praise and he smiled to himself, pleased he was able to suss out what you liked.

His hand snaked around your back, deftly unclasping your bra with surprising ease. The moment your breasts were bared to his gaze, his mouth descended on you, taking a pert nipple into his mouth.

You moaned softly, fingers intertwining into his dark locks. His lips and hands massaged your breasts, giving them equal attention. True to his word, he moved tantalizingly slowly down your body, kissing every inch of skin he could, while avoiding where you needed him most.

By the time he made his way back up to your face, you were begging him to touch your pussy--pleading for some relief.

"Nick, please--I need you."

"What did you call me?" he asked harshly.

Your eyes widened lustfully. "I'm sorry, papi!"

He smiled, ghosting his fingers across your still-clothed pussy. "That's my good girl."

You whimpered at the feather-light touches he placed to your mound, desperate for more. "Please, papi."

"Hmm? Qué deseas?" [What do you want?]

"Please touch me," you begged.

"I am touching you, querida."

"More, papi. Please!"

He smiled. "Normally I'd take my time teasing you--making you beg for what you want...but if I'm being honest, I'm as desperate to touch you as you are to feel it, so I'll be nice to you this time."

He tugged your panties off quickly before spreading your thighs as wide as he could, revealing your dripping wet folds.

"All this for me, baby?" he growled.

"Only you, papi," you responded.

"Yeah? No one else makes you this wet?"

You shook your head vehemently. "No one else."

"Now I have one rule, hermosa. I wanna hear you--every little sound coming out of that pretty mouth. Be as loud as you want. Entiendes?" [Understand?]

"Si, papi," you whimpered.

He smirked as he lowered himself down onto the bed between your legs. His strong hands gripped your hips and he tugged you as close to his face as he could before diving into your pussy with a deep groan of pleasure.

You gasped at the sensation, the sound quickly becoming moans of enjoyment. Nick was quite skilled with his mouth--his tongue alone made you feel things you'd never before experienced.

Your fingers tangled into his hair, tugging at the roots as you desperately sought your release.

Nick held you in place as he continued his assault on your pussy, ensuring he had complete control over your pleasure.

"Feels so good," you gasped. "Gonna cum, papi."

He groaned against your clit, the vibrations sending a shockwave of pleasure through your body. He could feel how close you were by the way your thighs tried to close and your grip on his hair tightened.

Your moans became more desperate--needy, and he slid two fingers into your pussy, gently pressing into your g-spot rapidly.

You cried out, legs shaking slightly, seconds before your orgasm ripped through you like a tidal wave. His name left your lips in a gasped scream as he worked you through your high, only stopping when you began to squirm away.

You were completely breathless when he lifted his head, mouth and chin soaked in your juices. He licked his lips and wiped his mouth on his hand, licking it clean as he maintained eye contact with you. "You taste so good baby...I can't get enough."

You reached for him and he obliged, leaning forward to kiss you softly. You tasted yourself on his lips and tongue, a soft sound of pleasure escaping into his mouth.

"Querida," he whispered against your lips. "I need to be inside you."

"Please," you whimpered.

"Do you have protection?"

"I'm on the pill..."

"I'm clean," he assured you.

"Me too."

He lined his cock up with your entrance and looked back up at your face. "Are you sure, hermosa?"

"Si papi. I want you to fuck me."

He groaned softly before thrusting into you, sheathing himself fully inside of you in one swift movement.

You cried out, the stretch both overwhelming and extremely pleasurable all at once. You clutched his neck and he breathed deeply, trying to calm his racing heart.

"You can move," you whispered.

"Not yet, querida. I need a moment."

"Are you okay?" you asked in concern.

"Your pussy feels so damn incredible, baby...I'm just trying to control myself so I don't hurt you."

You bit your lip and lifted his face up to look at you. "I like a little bit of pain, papi." You clenched your pussy tightly for emphasis.

"Mierda," he ground out. "You sure?"

"Fuck me senseless, Nick. Por favor."

As much as he loved you calling him 'papi', hearing you say his name like that made him feral. He pulled out and thrust back in harshly, starting a fast, hard pace.

"Baby, say my name again," he begged.

"Nick," you moaned lowly.

"Fuck." He was fucking you like it was the last thing he was ever going to do and you'd never experienced anything like it.

You felt the coil tightening in your abdomen, and for the first time in your life, you knew you were going to cum during penetration. Your moans were loud enough to wake the neighbors, your nails dug into his muscular back, and your pussy had his cock in a vice grip.

"You gonna cum for me, (Y/N)?"

You nodded rapidly, unable to voice a response. The only thing coming out of your mouth was a string of incoherent moans and pleas.

"I wanna feel you cum, baby. Cubre mi polla." [Coat my cock.]

"Nick!" you whined.

"What do you need, querida? Tell me."

"More," you whimpered.

He slipped his hand between your bodies and began to gently massage your clit. "This what you need, baby?"

"Nick!" you screamed. "Don't stop!"

"That's it, baby. That's it. I've got you. Cum for me, querida. Ven por mí." [Come for me.]

You cried out in ecstasy as the waves of pleasure overwhelmed your senses. You clung to him desperately, as if he was a life raft while you were adrift in the ocean.

He began to chase his own high as you came down, your awareness coming back to you. His thrusts were fast and rough, his breathing ragged.

"I want you to cum for me, papi. Fill me up," you begged.

"Dios mio! You feel so good, baby. Wanna cum for you."

You clenched your pussy as tightly as you could, desperate for him to enjoy this as much as you did.

"(Y/N)!" he cried out as he came, his hot seed filling you up.

His thrusts slowed and faltered before he finally collapsed on top of you, breathless and satiated.

You held him close, running your fingers through his hair as he caught his breath. You were a little worried he would regret this now that it was over, but your fears were assuaged the moment he lifted his head to look at you.

His beautiful brown eyes were warm and loving as he gazed at you, happiness and contentment clear in his expression. "That was incredible," he murmured softly.

You blushed slightly. "You were incredible."

"As were you, querida."

He pressed his lips to yours as he pulled himself up. He rolled onto his side and pulled you with him, so your head rested against his chest.

"I'm thinking we take a power nap, then we go for round two," Nick said softly.

"Round two?!"

He grinned. "I did promise you I was gonna worship this sexy body of yours for hours."

"I didn't think you were serious, Nick," you said with a chuckle.

"Oh, baby, I'm always serious about worshipping you. I think you'll learn that very quickly."

You smiled and kissed his chest softly. You debated whether you wanted to voice the question that popped into your head, but once again, Nick beat you to it.

"You know this isn't a one time thing, right?" Nick asked gently. "I mean, unless you want it to be."

You looked up at him, expression soft and affectionate. "I was actually just going to ask you that."

He grinned. "So...you saying you might wanna see me again?"

"I see you every day, Nick," you teased.

"I mean like this, hermosa. Naked in your bed, making you scream my name, giving you as much pleasure as your pretty little body will take."

Your breath hitched in your chest, giving away just how badly you wanted that. "That too."

He chuckled and kissed the top of your head. "If I'm lucky, you'll let me take you out more too. Dinner, dancing, walks in the park, musicals...whatever you want. Wherever you go, I want to be there too."

Your eyes widened in surprise and tears filled them. You'd never had someone speak to you the way Nick did, let alone want to be with you in the way he just described.

"Querida," he whispered as he wiped your eyes. "Don't cry."

"Tears of joy," you assured him. "I promise."

His expression warmed, filling with the love and admiration he clearly felt for you. "So you'll be mine then? Exclusively?"

Your lips parted and you smiled. "I would love that."

He smiled back. "Thank god...because whether you knew it or not, I've been yours exclusively for the past year."

"What?"

He blushed slightly. "I...well I've wanted to be with you since my marriage fell apart, but I didn't want you to think you were some kind of rebound, so I kept myself professional. It's gotten harder and harder to do and then seeing you dating someone who treated you so terribly knowing full-well I would die for you made it nearly impossible."

"I didn't know," you whispered.

"I went to great lengths to make sure of that," Nick said softly. "But now that I have you? Now that I know what it's like to touch you, hold you, kiss you, make love to you? Baby, I can't walk away. You're stuck with me."

You pulled yourself up into a sitting position, straddling his strong body. You leaned down to kiss him softly, pouring all of your emotion into the kiss. "There's no one I'd rather be stuck with, Nick Amaro," you whispered against his lips.

He grinned and wrapped his arms around you, kissing you with as much passion as he could muster. He was determined to spend every minute of the rest of his life making sure you knew how incredible you were, how much he appreciated you, and how madly in love with you he would always be.

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Nick Amaro: Boxing

NOTE: I originally posted this short story on a reblog of these GIFS but I don't think it reached as many people because of it so I'm going to also post it like this.

Sometimes a GIF just makes you have to write a little something. This one definitely did. Thank you, Nick Amaro.  

You stopped to watch your boyfriend hit the punching bag. It was erotic in a way that it had no right being. The flex of his arms, bunching of his shoulders. The graceful turning of his hips as he put his weight behind his punches. The power that propelled the bag back. Sweat gathered at his temples and neck dripping down his lithe body making the white wife beater cling tantalizingly to his chest and stomach.

You had sudden and deep regret at never going to his boxing gym before. It was a hole-in-the-wall place he loved and you figured it would be filled with testosterone and alpha male ego. You were willing to deal with both now that you knew exactly what sight was awaiting you if you did.

Nick was fully focused on what he was doing. It was clear he hadn't noticed your arrival yet. You let yourself indulge in his movement for a few minutes longer before letting out a wolf whistle. "Ay, Papi what's a girl gotta do to get a private show?"

Nick's head whipped to you a smirk on his lips. He doesn't stop his punches, he preens and starts showing off more as you walk closer to him. "Para una mamacita sexy como tú? (For a sexy mommy like you?) Just say the word."

You hum happily as he pauses and you slide between him and the punch bag. Nick wipes away sweat dripping into his eyes with his glove. Your fingertips trace down from his collarbone to his chest, placing your hand against his firm chest. It's rising and falling at a faster pace than normal. You can feel the pound of his heart from his exertion.

Nick backed you into the bag behind you. You feel it swing back when your weight presses against it. His gloved hand grasped at your hips as his cheek pressed against your own. He pulls you closer, his body heat blazing against your skin, the moisture of his sweat transferring to your skin.

Nick leans down and you tease him. Your lips barely brush his as you slide your hand up his arms, shoulders, and then up his neck and into his hair. "Guapo," You ghost against his lips. His smile widens and it is infectious. You giggle and rub your nose against his in Eskimo kisses. "Maybe you can show me how to do that hip motion at home, hmm?"

"I can show you more than just that, cariño." He promised finally catching your lips in a hot open-mouthed kiss.

"I look forward to it."

[kryptonitejelly]

nick amaro x reader // law and order SVU

yes, we are going there - what have i done 😭 no plot, really. just a moment.

-

The last thing Nick had expected to find when walking back into the SVU bullpen was you; and yet, here he was, eyes fixed on you as his strides quickened. He notices Fin’s smirk that finds itself aimed his way as he weaves his way between Amanda and Liv to get to you, but he ignores it.

He lets his gaze drag itself over your form, head down on his desk, the lamp on his desk casting a soft glow around your features; the extra suit jacket he leaves hanging on the back of his chair draped over your shoulders. You have a laptop open in front of you, a case file and note pad within reach, all topped off by an uncapped pen lying caged between your curled fingers. He sees the pair of heels which you had shed, one standing, one lying on its side peeking out from under his desk. A dip of his gaze reveals the deep green of the dress which you had on, one of his favourite dresses on you - one that he knew you had worn in to work today in anticipation of Friday having supposed to be date night.

Nick slows his pace as he approaches you, content in the few seconds to allow himself to watch the gentle rise and fall of your shoulders. The sight stirs a mix of emotions in his chest - the swell of emotion that came rushing in whenever he set his eyes on you, and a heavy tinge of guilt. Guilt that he had to cancel the first date night you both had managed to plan after weeks of clashing schedules, guilt that you taken it so well, and guilt that you had somehow found your way here, to the SVU bullpen so that you could both head home together.

Nick drops to a knee, bringing himself to eye level with your face. He raises his hand to cup the side of your face gently. His touch on your skin is light, soft, but it makes you stir immediately.

“Hey,” Nick’s voice grounds you as you let your mind grind to a start, your surroundings shifting into focus. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought we could go home together,” your lips furl up into a gentle smile, voice soft, your eyes, still hazy with sleep, locked onto Nick’s. You forget your bearings for a moment until you hear a cough from behind Nick as various footsteps shuffle into the bullpen. You straighten up slowly, blinking the sleep from your eyes, legs stretching out beneath you as you offer a wave to the rest of the team trudging in.

“An ADA slumming it at Amaro’s desk?” Fin muses, voice joking and light.

“What would Barba say,” Munch follows, expression deadpan.

“Unbecoming isn’t it?” Liv continues with a quirk of one end of her lip.

“What can I say,” you play along, “not all of us have Barba’s flair.”

“Clearly,” Amanda states, looking pointedly at Nick which earns a series of chuckles from the rest of the team and yourself.

“Yeah, yeah,” Nick waves a hand in the air dismissively, but his gaze doesn’t leave you. You tilt your body downward slightly, hands reaching for your discarded heels. Nick notices and he is back on a knee in one fluid motion.

“Nick,” you protest as he places a hand along your calf, his other propping your heel up, helping you back into your heels. You hazard a glance behind your boyfriend, only to find the rest of the team, tactfully busying themselves with their desks. “I’m not Cinderalla,” you state, but with no real protest as you let him guide your other heel back on.

“I’m not your Prince Charming?” He teases, not caring who else heard, giving your calf a gentle squeeze before winking at you and straightening back into a stand.

“I’ll get back to you on that,” you pull a face as you turn to gather your belongings, making quick work of shoving them into your bag with Nick’s help.

“Way to hurt a man,” he places a hand on his chest as you shrug his spare jacket off your shoulders; Nick takes it from you, hanging it back on his chair.

“She could hurt you more” Fin cuts in again with a sing-song voice. It makes you chuckle, as you catch a wink Amanda throws in your direction.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be Detective Tutuola,” Nick asks all while shrugging off the jacket on his shoulders to place it over yours, letting it hang off your frame. He flicks off the light switch on his desk and picks your bag up.

“If I say no, will you let me tag along?”

Your yes comes at the same time as Nick’s absolutely not, and it earns you another series of chuckles around the room.

“Don’t call me till Monday,” Nick calls out, while threading his fingers through yours as he starts to guide you towards the lift. You barely manage to call out a goodbye, before the lift doors shut on you both.

“I didn’t-” your protest is cut short by Nick’s lips on yours, his free hand circling your waist, going over the fabric of his jacket on your shoulders. You let yourself sink into the kiss, hand sliding up his shoulder and behind his neck as the lift descends to the parking garage.

“I’m sorry I had to cancel today,” he says, forehead resting against yours as he breaks the kiss. His eyes are closed, but you flicker yours open as you run your hand from the back of his neck to cup the side of his jaw.

“You have nothing to apologise for Detective Amaro,” you end with the professional term of address in attempt to diffuse some of the guilt you see in his eyes. “Work,” you continue with a light shrug - Nick was a victim of you cancelling on him as well, and you understood.

“I was really looking forward to tonight,” he says, still apologetic as he finally opens his eyes while leaning his face into your palm.

“I can think of a few ways you can spend the rest of the weekend making it up to me,” you say, dropping your voice to a lower, almost sultry tone as you lean into him, pressing the front of your body into his. Nick responds by pulling you in closer, his hand dipping down the hem of his jacket on your shoulders to slide down onto the curve of your ass.

“Take me home Detective Amaro,” you say as the lift door dings open.

“Your wish is my command,” Nick says in response, taking the opportunity to sear another quick kiss onto your lips before tugging you out of the lift.

[agender-wolfie]

When you get into a fandom but 99% of the fics are fem and are unlabeled or untagged

[cissyenthusiast010155]

She’s Been to Hell And Back ~S13!Alex Cabot xFem Wife!Reader(feat. Casey, Rita, Liz, Liv & Amanda)

Summary— Alex is kidnapped and tortured. That’s pretty much it. It’s a very long and indulgent fic of Alex x Reader.

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: [MATURE], explicit torture, violence, kidnapping, humiliation, implied torture, angst, anxiety attacks, knife, guns, torture devices, branding, cigarette burns, burning, begging, crying, and so much more mature content, Rita being an aunt and a boss bitch, Liz losing her shit, Munch being munch, Amaro being an asshat, Casey barely keeping it together, read at your own risk!!

Enjoy (;

You stepped into the SVU squad room, looking around at the major bustling and chaos of the room. You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt anxiously, biting your lips and nails as well. You were frozen. You couldn’t process it all. Your eyes then landed on a person who you knew could help.

Casey.

Casey had been the one to call you. She hadn’t told you much, only that you need to come to svu immediately. You had dropped work for this. Left straightaway. It all made you extremely anxious. Why would they need you…? Unless…

You shook the terrible thoughts coming up out of your mind, instead springing into action. You walked up to Casey in the middle of the chaos.

“Hey Case!” You called to the redhead who was swiftly fluttering through pages.

Casey jumped at her name and her eyes shot up to you. Suddenly her gaze softened and she looked at you with concern.

“Y/N’s here!!” Casey shot across the room, and everyone practically stopped in their tracks and looked at you.

You gulped and looked around anxiously, pulling your bag closer to you defensively.

“Case… what’s going on…?” You stammered.

Casey couldn’t meet your gaze. Olivia suddenly came out of the Captain’s office and walked through the squad room, followed by Cragen peeking out of his office, telling everyone to get back to work. The shuffling and bustling immediately picked back up again. The noise wasn’t helping you one bit.

You suddenly felt a hand on your back shoulder, and you jumped slightly. You turned around, relaxing a bit to see it was only Olivia with a warm and caring smile.

“Y/N, let’s go into Cragen’s office, yeah…?” The brunette gently suggested.

After you slowly nodded with parted lips of confusion, Olivia led you by her hand on your back to the Captain’s office. She opened the door for you and closed it behind the two of you. Both SVU members looked tense and concerned.

“What exactly… is going on…?” You tensed out through partially gritted teeth, frustration now hitting you in waves.

Olivia guided you to sit down with her, before she but her lip and explained,

“Y/N… Alex didn’t show up for court a couple of hours ago… We… don’t know where she is. She’s not answering her phone, we can’t track it, it’s dead.”

Your heart sunk. And there was now a limp in your throat. Your heart only raced faster and you suddenly felt dizzy.

Olivia could tell that this was a lot to take in, so she gently held you on both sides of your arms.

“That’s not all…” Cragen sighed.

You looked up at the Captain with glossy eyes and a trembling lip.

“W-what…?” You stammered, bringing your arms into your chest and holding yourself.

“We think Alex was… taken.” He explained slowly.

“W-why would you think that…??” You exclaimed, the anger in you now swelling.

Cragen and Olive exchanged looks. Cragen nodded and relented into the brunettes insistence.

“Come on, let me show you something.” Olivia softly spoke.

She led you outside to the squad room and the media corner. Next to all the screens there was a board. A board of at least 100 photographs. And they were all of Alex. Alex and all the people she interacted with. You were on there, and so was Olivia, and Casey, and Rita, and Liz, and Amanda, and so on.

The pictures were practically Alex’s entire life since she’d been with you. This was years of photos. Some of them looked like they could have been snapped by a news reporter outside the courts. But others, much more intimate pictures of the two of you, could have only been captured by active camera surveillance.

You gasped, bringing your hand to your mouth, as you let out a choked sob that you couldn’t contain anymore. Your stomache sunk. You proceeded to collapse on the floor, and were lucky that Amanda was right by you. The Southern blonde was quick to scoop you up and guide you to take a seat in her desk chair.

She then tried to talk to you, but your mind was spiraling. Suddenly a big boom of stacks of paperwork falling across the squad room brought you back to reality with a jolt.

“Y/N? Y/N, there you are, ‘hun. Hey. Heyyy. It’s going to be okay, alright…?” Amanda reassured you.

“But h-how… do you know that…?” You choked out, the tears continuing to pour out.

At that, Amari and Fin walked into the squad room.

“It’s out lucky day! Perp’s blood was at the scene, that girl put up a fight…!” Amara exclaimed, not having realized that you were there.

You immediately stood up and turned to face Amaro. Nick’s eyes went wide and his face struggled to give away the fact that he knew he had fucked up.

“What scene? What…?? What happened??” You exclaimed with a gasp, frustration and anger running through your veins once more.

Amanda pulled you towards her and into her embrace. Her touch calmed you a little, but right now, you really needed it to be Alex’s touch. After a minute, her hug actually and surprisingly helped.

“Thanks…” you muttered.

Amanda shrugged and smiled lightly, as if it was nothing.

“Learned that in Atlanta, had a partner who had anxiety attacks.” The blonde told you, “It’s a grounding thing.”

You listened and nodded along. But your mind quickly started to wander back to Alex again.

“Wait what scene? Do you know where she was taken…??” You asked.

Amanda sighed and stood up, telling you to wait here. She checked in with Cragen in his office, before coming back to you and grabbing her keys.

“Come on, let’s go for a ride.” Amanda told you, indicating for you to follow her.

You gulped and nodded, silently following the Southern blonde with your wobbly legs. You two got into her patrol car, and she began driving. The ride was silent. You had now become numb, your feelings too much to bear. You didn’t want to go down the rabbit hole of what could go wrong… So you stayed in the ignorance of feeling numb.

After about 15-20 minutes, Amanda pulled up to you and Alex’s shared brownstone. You gulped as your eyes widened as it began to click for you.

“This is…” you stammered, trying to find the words.

“Come on, Darling. I’ll explain inside.” Amanda gently reassured you, squeezing your left hand caringly, before getting out of the car.

You followed the blonde detective up the steps of your brownstone and inside. No one was here anymore. But it was a mess, all taped up with crime scene tape and marked with evidence markers and such. It made your stomache flip upside down when you saw blood on the kitchen doorway.

“What Amaro said, that asshole… was that Alex didn’t go down without a fight…” Amanda explained, taking your hand in reassurance as you walked through the torn apart apartment.

“Alex managed to make her kidnapper bleed.” Amanda breathed out.

At that you looked at the woman with wide eyes.

“So you can find out who they are?” You immediately asked.

Amanda bit her inner cheek and looked way slightly.

“Yeaaa ideally yes… but we already ran it, and he’s not in the system…” she explained.

Any and all hope that you had just gained was lost all over again. Amanda squeezed your hand again in reassurance.

“So what’s next…? What can I do?” You asked, desperate to do anything, to get her back, to see her again.

“First, we are going to walk through your place and go through the events, at least what we know. See if any of it jogs your memory of like someone who would want to harm Alex…” Amanda breathed out.

You shuttered and nodded slowly.

“Then when Olivia and Cragen give the go ahead, I’ll take you back to svu and Olivia will properly interview you…”

You gulped, yet nodded again.

“Ok, let’s do it…” you breathed out.

Amanda nodded and guided you by your hand, walking you through the scene. All your feelings came crashing back as the blonde detective walked you through the theory SVU had of what happened.

Alex hadn’t even left for the office yet, having not needed to go in as early that day… You and already left for work, when someone had come to the door. Alex must have known the person, because she let them in (or they had a gun). The main struggle was in the kitchen. SVU assumed that Alex had most likely tried to reason with whomever the perp was, but it went south in the kitchen. Alex’s blood was on the counter, in a circular mark that upheld that the assailant had violently cracked Alex’s head down upon the counter. There were also blood splatters of Alex’s going from the kitchen and out the door, by the amount and pattern of the blood, it was assumed that the assailant had shot Alex somewhere in the leg, but hadn’t hit a major artery or vein. Luckily, on the kitchen doorway, there was Alex’s bloody partial print, but there blood wasn’t hers. The theory was that before the shooter had incapacitated her, she got a swing or two in, and then when he dragged her out, she made one last attempt to grasp the doorway, leaving the perps blood.

Your heart was pounding in your ears three times as fast as earlier. Tears were pouring down your face and you hadn’t even realized it. Amanda squeezed your hand tighter, as she asked you if it sounded like someone you knew or if it triggered any memories.

“N-no… Mm sorry…” you gasped out in between sobs.

The Southern blonde now came in front of you and took both of your hands.

“Don’t be, you did so good, Y/N.” Amanda comforted you, before receiving a ding on her phone and checking her notifications.

It was Olivia telling Amanda to bring you back. You spent the car ride opposite of the last, filled with all the emotions. You were distraught, and sad, and afraid, and angry, and infuriated, and so much more. Your head was swimming, no drowning it it all. You just wanted a break. You wanted Alex safe in your arms.

Amanda led you back into the squad room, passing you off to Olivia with a reassuring smile. Olivia took you into the family interview room, one that was less jarring than the brick and mortar perp interview/confession rooms. She had you sit on the couch next to her.

“Y/N, Amanda told me that you couldn’t think of anything at the crime scene…”

“Don’t… call it that…” you sputtered, having cried yourself out in the car and now hicupping instead.

Olivia sighed, “Of course, I’m sorry— At your and Alex’s home…”

You had your hands clasped in your lap and you were rocking back and forth anxiously. The brunette detective reached for your hands with her hands and tried to physically comfort you, but you jerked in response, starting to hyperventilate. The brunette detective was quick to retract and stick with her interview questions.

“Besides what you didn’t think of at the crim— your and Alex’s place— Can you think of anyone who would want to hurt you…?” Olivia prodded gently.

You shook your head and then hiccuped. Alex had her hair share of criminals who didn’t like her, but nothing she ever found concerning enough to share with you.

“Alright, what about anyone following you recently…? Notice any reoccurring faces…?” She asked.

You thought about it, going through your last months, if not years in your mind.

“I… don’t think so, no…” you stammered, with two more hiccups.

“Alright… Can I get you some water?”

“Yes please…” you whispered, not being able to handle the eye contact, so you simply shut your eyes.

Olivia muttered something with a hum, letting go of your hands, and leaving the room with the door ajar. You just sat there, with your eyes closed and shaking in your boots. You could hear the noisy clamor of the squad room from the ajar door. It was still just as chaotic, if not more. Tensions were high, and fuses were short.

Before Olivia could come back with your water, a familiar voice boomed while entering the squad room.

“Who the hell didn’t inform me about Alex going missing, and why the fuck did I need to find out like this?!”

You immediately stood up with a jolt, scrambling into the squad room to see Rita standing furiously in the middle of the room, while holding up a manila envelope with her name on it. Calhoun’s determined scowl faltered as she noticed you in the corner. She immediately lowered her mask of defense lawyer and rushed over to you.

Her hands were all of over you, checking to see if you were okay. They landed on each side of your face, as her concerned gaze looked at you.

“Hey Baby… How are you holding up…?” She asked, her eyes still scanning you up and down, before landing on your gaze when she expected an answer.

But all she got was a choked sob from you, your tears now back in full swing. The older woman immediately pulled you in for a hug, which you happily accepted. She hugged you tight and with fierce love, you could feel every fiber of her being that cared through the embrace. When Rita let you go, you wheezed and little and whipped your tears away.

Olivia had by now gotten your water and caught wind of the commotion, now coming up to you and Rita. Rita sent daggers to the brunette detective, making Olivia stop a couple feet away from you.

“What’s in the envelope…?” Olivia quipped, before extending her hand with your water in it.

Rita took the water, examined it, then gave it to you, instructing you to drink, before she considered answering Olivia. When she did, her eyes went sad. The main SVU members had surrounded the two of you, all curious as to what Rita had brought. She opened the envelope and pulled out a hard drive.

“Aha! My area of expertise…!” Munch exclaimed, taking the hard drive from Rita and going over to the media corner to open whatever files were contained within the stick.

You went to follow the rest do the team to see what was on the file, but Rita grabbed you by your arm before you could get too far. You turned back to Rita and looked at the woman who had been your mentor, aunt, mom, practically everything with confusion and glossy eyes.

“ ‘Hun, you may not want to see that…” Rita sighed with deep sadness in her eyes.

She had already seen it.

Your eyes hardened and you frowned. You quickly pulled your hand out of Rita’s grasp.

“Like hell I won’t…” you exclaimed, then turning around and walking up behind the team who were all gathered around Munch who was about to click play on a video file.

Rita came up behind you, her eyes staying on you the entire time as the video played. She watched your face whiten, watched your face wash over in horror, then a wave of anger. She watched your shock, then followed by uncontrollable sadness and tears.

Alex was in the centre of the screen, tied up and hanging by her wrists around a rusty metal bar running along the wall. Her head was hanging low. Her hair frazzled and tired. Her clothing was dirty, torn, and bloody. There was a light sway of her body as it hung from the beam. Her shoes had been discarded. The bottom half of her her stomache was on display, as her shirt was being strained from the position. Her left lower leg was bleeding, presumably from the gunshot from the struggle at the brownstone. Her forehead was all bloody from the blow to the counter.

Suddenly, a person stepped into the frame. They were wearing all black and had their face and voice masked. He had some kind of black colored weapon, almost baton looking in his hand. He laughed wickedly into the camera, before turning his attention to Alex.

“As I can’t torture all of you, unfortunately… One will have to do…” The man tilted his head as he turned on the stick and plunged it against Alex’s exposed side stomache with a cackle.

Alex’s body convulsed and jolted uncontrollably as she was she was hit with volts and volts of burning electricity. She let out a desperate groan, which turned into a silent scream as tears poured down her face, as she fought against her restraints and against the volts. After a couple solid seconds of this, the man finally retracted the insane taser torture. As he moved the torture device back, Alex’s freshly burned skin could be seen, a fresh branded circle on the side of her stomache. The man proceeded to repeat this process for multiple rounds. And the whole time, Alex fought and screamed and convulsed, as tears ran down her face and shirt. Finally, after five burning rounds, Alex passed out. And the man stopped, looking to the camera with a grin.

“No point if the bitch isn’t awake…” He chuckled wickedly, “And that was only Act 1… Dedicated to Detective Olivia Benson…”

Rage was quick to take over your enter being, all the sadness quickly forgotten. You nearly assaulted Olivia right then and there. But Rita saw this coming, and she was quick to hold you back as you attempted to pounce on the brunette detective across from you.

You scowled and fought back, the team all taking a step back from you, all of them just as shocked as you were. But Rita held you firm.

“Shhhh, Baby, it’s okay… Calm down…” Rita cooed into the shell of your ear, “It’s going to be okay, it’s not Olivia’s fault…”

After a couple seconds, Rita managed to get you to promise to not punch the older brunette detective in the face. So she let you go. You huffed and didn’t know what to do. You were hit with another wave of sudden sadness.

As you were having your life crisis, the team began speculating and conversating about what they could learn from the video and how they could find Alex. You weren’t able to focus on them or anything anymore, everything started to just fade away into black.

When you woke up, you were in Rita’s lap, back in the family interview room. For a split second, you felt at peace’s and then reality smacked you back in the face. Rita was beginning to tell you that you had passed out when you began to freak out.

“Hey, Hey. It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re safe, it’s okay.” Rita comforted you, as you sat up startled and distraught.

“N-no it’s n-not… Alex my Lex she’s… she’s…” you choked out, hyperventilating.

Rita was quick to take you into her arms on the couch and comfort you. She ran her fingers through your hair, she rubbed your arms and hands and side, calming you as best as you could.

“Hey. We are going to find this sycko who did this… ok? The team is on it…” Rita insisted and ensured you, “Take some deep breaths for me, Baby…”

You nodded shakily, your entire body shaking in Rita’s arms, as you took some deep breaths. You began to doze off in the woman’s arms, Rita was quick to encourage you to not fight it. And so you dozed off…

You awoke startled once more by a shriek echoing through the squad room and into where you and Rita were. You practically fell off the couch and scrambled out to the squad. Rita was swift behind you. Your eyes fell on Casey, who now had a Manila envelope in her hand with her name on it.

“Where did you get that??” Olivia questioned the redhead.

“I… a junior officer dropped it off… I don’t know, sorry” Casey stammered, handing it off to Olivia who opened it.

“Fin, Amanda, go find that junior officer, maybe he can give us a lead on this guy.” Cragen told his team.

Fin and Amanda nodded and left the room at once. Olivia had found another hard drive, having passed it to Munch to analyze. Rita’s eyes widened as Munch went to press play, and she tried to pull you away once more, but you only pulled away from her and to the screen with more ferocity. With a click from Munch, the video began…

Alex was still in the same position. She was awake again. But barely. Drool was coming from the sides of her mouth as her head lolled down. Her breathing was heavy and labored, affecting her entire body as it hung from the rope attached to her wrists and around the beam.

The man then came back into the camera screen. He held a knife in his hand this time. After taunting the camera, he stalked up to Alex, his free hand roughly grabbing and wrenching her blouse open. The buttons clattered to the floor as the perp moved the torn blouse aside, showing off Alex’s black bra and exposed chest and stomache.

Alex seemed to barely register anything until the knife began slicing her chest. She let out a howl at the pain, deep enough to hurt, but not deep enough to kill. He continued these slices, along her stomache, along her clothed arms as well, and all the way up to her shoulders and neck. He seemed to only be egged on by Alex’s groans and cries, which very quickly turned into begging and pleading for him to stop. Once the man reached her neck, he held the knife firmly along her throat, before speaking. The dozens of cuts all bleed into one another, practically covering Alex’s entire upper body in blood.

“Act 2 is not as bad, because you just sucked at your job…” The man sneered, “But trust me, the next one… I’d be surprised if the bitch doesn’t die… Dedicated to Rita Calhoun.”

Your knees buckled and you collapsed on the floor as Alex let out a particular blood curteling scream in the video. Tears streamed down your face as you couldn’t bring yourself to watch the rest of the video, the audio already taunting you enough. You felt your body go limp and you began to slouch and fall from your knees to the ground completely.

“Turn it off! Off!!” Rita yelled enraged, before dropping to the ground with you and comforting you.

Munch turned the video off, but not before the man was able to dedicate the video to Rita. Rita’s eyes widened and her throat went dry. The whole team stared at the two of you. Rita was dumbfounded at what this had to do with her, but she was quick to spring into action over it.

“Novak. Take Y/N to the diner down the street. She probably hasn’t eaten all day.” Rita commanded the room.

Casey’s eyes widened, and she immediately nodded in understanding.

“Of course, Rita.” Casey said, hurriedly coming over to the two of you.

You tried to protest as Rita handed you over to Casey, but Rita was stern and quickly silenced you, not that you could say anything right now with how overwhelmed you were. Casey was quick to file you out of the room.

You didn’t even remember leaving SVU or getting to the diner, all you remember is suddenly sitting with Casey looking at the late lunch menu. You were shaking and fidgeting like crazy.

Casey reached her hand across the table and squeezed your balled up fist reassuringly. You looked up to the redhead with your stained and now completely dried out eyes, having cried it all out for the second time today.

“Hey. Let’s get you some food, huh…?” Casey hummed.

You nodded slowly. The waitress came, but you couldn’t hear a thing. Casey looked at you with care and understanding, ordering for the both of you. Then once the waitress had left, her attention was on you once more.

“C-Casey…?” You whispered.

Casey leaned in and softly spoke,

“Yes…?”

“How… how are you okay…?” You whispered, a single tear rolling down your cheek as you blinked, “She’s… she’s like your best friend and you hers…”

Casey sighed and squeezed your hand again.

“Y/N, look at me.” Casey hummed, her tone breaking in a falter.

You finally looked at Casey again, and took in her appearance. You suddenly noticed the tear stains on her face and how crazy her long, normally well curled hair was.

“I am not okay. I just… suck at showing my emotions…” Casey explained gently, her own eyes beginning to gloss over as she became more vulnerable.

Your lips pressed together and you smiled lightly, nodding in understanding. You gasped slightly as you felt your phone vibrate once in your pocket. You then felt another vibration. Then one last final third vibrating. You pulled your hands into your lap, away from Casey. The redhead looked at you concerningly.

“Everything okay…?” Casey asked.

“Mm yea… just… need the restroom…” you muttered, before getting out of the diner booth and going to the back where the bathroom was.

Casey nodded, watching you leave, before getting on her phone and updating the team, as well as getting updated by what they had figured out. She let the team know that you were doing okay and that she was about to feed you. She sighed and let out a light groan, trying to process the weight of what was happening, while reading the update from the group chat.

Munch had analyzed the background of the video, having figured out that Alex was being kept in some warehouse. Which one, they had no clue.

Fin and Amanda had gotten no leads from the junior officer, apparently the envelope had been given to him by a homeless looking guy who disappeared as soon as he dropped off the package at the precinct.

Rita, Olivia, and Nick had been spending their time looking over old case files and anything that connected Olivia and Rita along with possibly Alex, in hope to find a perp or bad guy who got away somehow and wanted revenge.

When Casey was done being caught up, the food had come. But you were still in the bathroom… The redhead grew suspicious, getting up from the table and walking to the back of the diner to the bathroom. She knocked on the door, but received no answer. Quickly, she tried your cell. Straight to voicemail.

~~

As you stepped into the bathroom, you couldn’t shake the terrible feeling about the texts, so you locked the door and immediately opened your phone. The texts were all from one unknown number.

Y/N L/N.

Then a video link.

Act 3. Elizabeth Donnelly

You didn’t even click or see the video. Not yet. You saw Liz’s name and couldn’t think of anything else. Liz would know what to do. She always knew what to do.

You carefully escaped from Casey’s gaze and hold out of the back of the diner, rushing to catch a cab to the DA’s office where Liz would most likely be. The ride wasn’t too long, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to press play on that video. Liz would know what to do. She always did.

Once your reached Liz’s office, you didn’t even knock, simply barging in. Liz was talking with a few DA’s, and she was about to dig into whoever interrupted them, but then she saw your state.

“Leave. All of you, now!” Liz ordered, shooing the attorneys away.

You quickly shut and locked the door behind you. Liz looked you up and down.

“Y/N, what is going on…?” The older woman spoke firmly.

You were hyperventilating again. You could sit, you were pacing. But you had to tell her something. And you tried, but you couldn’t bring yourself to explain. Liz stood up, recognizing the signs of an anxiety attack, and coming over to you in concern. She guided you to sit with her on her office couch, asking you again, more softly this time,

“Honey, what’s the matter…?”

You let out a choked sob, bringing out your phone and clicking the video. That was the only thing you could think of. Liz watched your every movement. You pressed play.

Alex was hanging as in the last video, but her blouse was completely gone. Her breathing was shallow and barely there, but she was still alive.

The man showed back up, coming up to the camera to say hello, before quickly turning his attention to Alex once more with the same knife as before in his hands. He grabbed Alex’s chin and pulled her face to meet his gaze. Alex tried to growl and fight back, but the exhaustion on her face was evident. He had probably drugged her up real good so that she didn’t stand a chance… While the man held her face rough with one hand, his other with the knife sliced her bra into pieces. He then let her face go with a smack! before tearing the bra off her body. The vulnerable whimper that Alex let out was distinct. And it only fed into the man’s fantasies. He then bent down to her bottom half and ran the knife down her side, followed by his hands ripping her skirt open. He wrenched that off her as well, throwing it aside. Alex was now left only in her panties. She closed her eyes and went limp, as the man trailed the knife in between her legs and up against her clothed core. He then moved to her thigh and ripped her underwear off with a snap! until she was fully nude, hanging for everyone to see. Another hopeless whimper left Alex as the man suddenly smacked her ass.

Before the video could finish, Liz slammed the phone down onto the ground, effectively pausing it. Your eyes went wide and you looked at the older woman with an open mouth. She looked horrified. But Rage was quick to replace the shock.

“What?! Liz wait—!!” You exclaimed as the blonde stood up and shook her white knuckle fists.

Liz turned back to you, looking you directly in the eyes.

“What in the actual fuck is going on, Y/N?!Why in the hell are you making me watch my daughter be tortured by some psycho???” Liz shrilled.

“Lower your voice!!” You harshly whispered, swiftly standing up and getting in her face, and effectively shutting Liz up for a second with how stern you and suddenly become.

“Then you better goddamn tell me what is going on…” Liz growled.

“OK—” you exclaimed, placing your hand on your forehead and sighing.

You say down again as the overwhelming sadness hit you once more.

“Lex… was taken… didn’t show up in court…” you stammered, “Guy’s been sending… videos…” you choked up.

Liz then picked up the phone from the floor, sitting back down next to you in silence for a moment.

“How many?”

You were jolted out of your grief by her words.

“W-what…?” You stammered.

“How many videos… did he send…?” Liz spoke, trying to sound in control but her own tone faltering and cracking a little.

“This is the third. He usually talks about it in the video…” you said quietly.

This made Liz look at you and then back to the phone. She turned it on and clicked play again. You both sat in anticipation as the video continued.

Alex’s bloody, bruised, and now completely exposed body came back on screen, right where it had left off. Alex flinched as the man smacked her ass a second time.

“Shut up Bitch!! Take it, We all know you want it!!!” The man jeered, before smacking her ass a third time and then grabbing and fondling her tits.

Alex tried to pull away from his touch, she tried to yell or cry or shout, but she found that her body was not taking orders from her mind anymore. Her body had gone limp. But she could feel everything. She could see everything in her line of sight. She could hear everything.

When she went completely silent, unable to protest anymore, the man cackled again, louder and more taunting than ever. He then proceeded to come up to the camera.

“Now, I’m not gonna show you this next bit… I’m going to save that for when you find her dead body… But Act 3 is dedicated to that bitch judge, Elizabeth Donnelly…” the man jeered.

The video then went static for a second. Then the camera came back on and showed an unconscious Alex Cabot, swaying lightly back and forth. Where her body wasn’t sliced and cut, it was bruised. Where her body wasn’t bloody, it was covered in dirt, like it had been thrown at her. The faint and small outlines of cigarette burns were trailed across both of her arms and thighs. Her mouth was filled with an oozing her own blood, as if 100 fists had hit her. And her right tit was branded with a symbol, difficult to make out. All of this and so much worse would be discovered had been done to her…

The video ended and silence took the room. Suddenly you heard crying. You looked over and Liz was hunched over and crying in her lap. You weren’t sure what to do, haven’t ever seen the powerful, older woman so vulnerable before. You just instinctively wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t… didn’t know what to do… I thought if I came to you…” you rambled, now feeling guilty for having brought this to Liz.

“Hush… none of that… ssnot your fault.” Liz breathed out in sniffles, accepting your embrace and pressing into you even more, “I know she’s not… my real daughter but if anything happens to her… I… I don’t know what I’d do…”

You two sobbed in each other’s arms for a while. It was only when someone came banging on Liz’s office door with no sudden warning that the two of you jumped apart and off the couch. You went to unlock the door and storming in came a furious Rita.

Rita wouldn’t even hear it from you. She took your phone immediately. All the way back to the squad room, the car was silent between the three of you.

Casey had figured out that you had run away, and she had immediately called SVU. They had divided and conquered all the places they thought you’d go. And the second Liz wasn’t answering her own phone, Casey knew that was where you had gone.

Back in the squad room, Munch began analyzing your phone. You sat in one of the detectives chairs, fidgeting and bouncing your leg, under Rita’s intense gaze. She had made you tell the team everything that had happened. She was not going to let you slip away again. Over her dead body.

Liz immediately threw a fit and started ordering people around. After looking at the files that Olivia and Amara had compiled, it took her five minutes to put it together. Liz found a perp who had escaped jail, whom Olivia had interrogated, Rita had represented and lost, She had judged, and Alex had prosecuted and won.

The second the team had their perp, they began canvassing possible areas. The man leased a piece of warehouse property near the river as it was discovered, so that’s where everyone rushed to go to.

Everyone was on edge.

“I’m gonna go!” You exclaimed to Rita.

“No you are not!!” She shrieked back.

“Why not?!! She’s the love of my life!!!” You yelled, tears running down your face as you screamed.

“Because she might be dead, Y/N!!!!”

Practically the entire squad room went silent at this. They all stared at you and Rita. But quickly, they all began their work again, and the team ran out to the location to find Alex. Both Rita and Liz held you back as you fought to get outside and in a squad car. But they held the upper hand. You collapsed in both of their arms, desperate and exhausted, completely out of energy.

~~

The team did indeed find Alex, although she was barely breathing. They immediately sent her to Mercy’s, where Rita and Liz already had you there waiting. You sat in the waiting room, in between the two woman, shaking and fidgeting restlessly.

Hours went by with no update. Eventually, it was all too much for you. You leaned against Rita’s shoulder for some comfort and before you could stop yourself, you were falling asleep.

~~

“Y/N, love, wake up…” Liz gently woke you, making you snort lightly as you came back to reality.

She was offering you a hand, which you eagerly took to stand up. The nurse came up to you.

“You may see her now. One at a time please.” The nurse told the group of you.

Everyone looked at you and pretty much all agreed in unison and with mere looks that you would be the person going in to see her first.

You entered the hospital room, and immediately came up to Alex’s bedside. You felt relief wash over you that she was here with you and that she was okay. You held one of her hands as she came to.

“Mmm heyyyy…” Alex said in an extremely scratchy and hoarse voice, her head turning slowly towards you.

Tears of joy began to spill out and down your cheeks. You squeezed your wife’s hand lovingly.

“Hi Lex…” you whispered, “How are you feeling…?”

“Like someone pumped an entire pharmacy through me…” Alex groaned lightly, “mm pretty sure I was drugged… most of the time I couldn’t move or speak…” her tone got sad and overwhelmed, as tears started to form on her sapphire eyes.

“Hey hey, it’s okay.” You comforted Alex, who met your gaze again, smiling at the sight of you, “You’re safe with me now, that’s all that matters…”

Alex lightly squeezed your hand now as she smiled. It would be a long road to recovery, but the important thing is that you would be with her every step of the way.

Her squeeze on your hand faded, which you just attributed to the blonde being tired. But then her eyes closed… and then you couldn’t hear her breathing. You jolted when the heart rate monitor started going off.

Suddenly, there were 4-5 hospital staff members in the room, pushing you aside. You stood in the corner of the room, with your hands over your mouth, silent tears flooding down your face. You heard the designated coding sound come from the machine, and you collapsed onto the floor. Everything went numb.

You could vaguely hear a nurse giving you her condolences. You didn’t even reliaze that you were walking out of the room until you stood in front of the group that loved Alex the most. You were violently shaking, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

Liz was the first own to come up to you, to see what was wrong. And Liz was the first one to understand… You fell to your knees and cried into your hands, not caring anymore. You’d lost the love of your life, your wife, your everything.

Liz looked more emotional and out of control than she’d ever been. She kept stammering that it couldn’t be true, but once a doctor came out and told the entire group the news, Liz let out a distraught wail, covering her face in her hands as she sobbed. Casey immediately buried herself in Liz’s embrace which Liz of course accepted. The last thing you remember about that day was Rita coming up to you and embracing you on the floor…

~~~

Alexandra Cabot Masterlist

Olivia Benson Masterlist

Casey Novak Masterlist

Elizabeth Donnelly Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

Rita Calhoun Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

Amanda Rollins Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

[rqgnarok]

leave a light on - nolan price

prequel for love you better now, but can be read individually

fandom: law & order, law & order special victims unit

wc: 4,735

warnings: canon presence of injuries, blood, violence, weapons, and hospitals. female reader.

summary: nolan's wife gets shot. he tries and fails to deal with that.

author's note below! masterlist / ko-fi / ao3

Nolan misses Liv’s call thrice before he calls for a recess.

The first two he’s stuck cross-examining the DA’s witness and he doesn’t realize how many times Liv has tried to get him on the phone until the third time she calls. He can’t answer, obviously– Judge MacNamara is lenient but not enough for Nolan to take a call in the middle of the day– but the call goes to voicemail and his screen lights up with Liv’s other attempts to reach him.

He immediately knows it’s bad. And he immediately knows it’s about his wife.

His chest constricts with his panic, breath catching and refusing to enter his lungs as his brain tries to catch up to the situation. The courtroom is suddenly too small and suffocating, his tie a noose around his neck.

It takes McNamara calling his name several times and the DA snidely wondering if the defense needs a minute for Nolan to somewhat snap out of it, pressing on Liv’s contact before the judge finishes adjourning for the day.

“Nolan,” she says, shaky. 

Not Price, which is what he’d expect from his wife’s coworker. They’re all friends, sure, but during work hours they fall into the habit of keeping everyone at arm’s length. Not right now, for some reason, and Nolan is tiptoeing the line between fine and about to crumble on the courthouse steps from a knock-out panic attack. 

“What happened?” Because something must’ve happened. His wife has one of the most dangerous jobs out there, life-endangering experiences being the norm and coming home not-dead being a good day. But if Liv is calling– if Liv is calling and (Y/N) isn’t…

Nolan has been psyching himself up for this day since (Y/N) first told him about joining the police academy. He’s still somehow not ready. 

He will never be ready for this. 

Olivia hesitates for a second too long and Nolan’s fear gets the best of him. “Olivia. What happened?”

Her voice cracks at (Y/N)’s name. Nolan grips his briefcase so tightly on the way to the hospital that his hand goes numb, nails digging into the skin of his palm until it’s red and tender. 

The knot of anxiety in his belly doesn’t unclench despite the quick, easy ride to the hospital. New York traffic seems to be doing him a favor, but it isn’t the physical distance he’s worried about. That one at least he’s able to cross. There’s nothing he can do if his wife is… if she…

Nolan finds a sea of cops and NYPD blue as soon as he crosses the threshold into Bellevue, worried and talking over each other as they watch over one of their injured own. None of them are familiar faces and his panic increases tenfold, the sound of his heartbeat in his ears drowning out doctors, officers, and detectives. 

Suddenly, the sea of people parts for her, and Olivia is in his line of sight, giving Nolan’s brain something to focus on other than the never-ending possibilities of what he might be facing here. She looks disheveled, shirt askew and vest still halfway on; her hair out of place, and her expression haunted, but no blood. There’s no blood on her and it's an important distinction for Nolan to make when she seizes his free hand in hers.

“Nolan,” she says, and her voice sounds like static, just like it did on the phone. It isn’t the line but Nolan’s brain filled with noise, like cotton in his ears and mouth and eyes stopping him from receiving the world clearly. “Nolan, are you okay?”

“What happened?” he asks again. Liv hadn’t explained, not really. She only told him that (Y/N) was hurt and they were taking her to Bellevue. You should come too, she’d said, and should had sounded more like need, which did nothing to soothe Nolan’s raising hackles.

Nolan’s breath stutters. He knows what happened, but he can’t comprehend it. The hand holding his briefcase is shaking. He asks once more when Liv only blinks at him, mouth open and no words coming out. “What happened?”

“We were chasing a suspect via foot,” and Nick’s there, too, by Liv’s side, like an apparition Nolan might’ve conjured. His brows are furrowed, jaw tense. “We caught him mid-rape and separated to cover more ground. No one had mentioned a gun during their disclosures, he wasn’t supposed to be armed.”

“(Y/N) caught up to him first,” Liv continues, voice dry, shaking her head. “He– Shots went off but we didn’t know– he must’ve known we were onto him. Got his hands on a gun after the first wave of assaults.”

Nolan bites the inside of his cheek. He tastes blood and thinks of his wife, and stops.  

“She was alone for two minutes tops,” Nolan wonders if Liv thinks she’s being reassuring. “She’d been shot, we called a bus right away.”

“Where?” Nolan asks tightly.

Liv blinks. Nick answers, “What?”

“Where, where in her body was she shot, how–” he struggles for a full breath and only comes out half successful. “How bad is it?”

Silence. 

“Did you– did you not see her?” he wonders, biting. Nolan turns back and forth between his wife’s coworkers, losing his patience. “Were you there, was she– Jesus, Liv, how bad is it?”

“The bullet hit her chest,” Nolan loses all fiery, defensive passion right then and there. His own heart stops for a second, or at least that’s what it feels like when his chest is engulfed by a pressing ache that numbs him all over. 

“They took her straight into surgery,” Nick continues when Nolan doesn’t say anything to that, unable to leave his partner to the wolves. “Liv rode with her in the ambulance but there wasn’t– it’s in their hands now. They’re taking care of her, pal, okay? She’s getting help.”

Where was the help when she was alone chasing after a fucking criminal, where the hell were you, huh he wants to say; wants to shout and curse and point and make a scene, but the words get stuck in his throat and in the next blink he finds himself seated in the waiting room, still surrounded by cops.

God, Nolan thinks, pressing his fingers to his tightly closed lids. When, in their fifteen years of knowing each other, could he have seen this coming? The bright-eyed, furiously righteous kid halfway through law school and the pretty girl who took one of his classes as an elective, only to completely destroy one of his classmates during a debate that made up half their grade.

Nolan had watched, mouth barely open in amazement as quiet, back-of-the-class (Y/N) didn’t flinch while delivering the final blow and bringing her team to victory. She snuck out before he could talk to her– do something stupid like congratulate her with stars in his eyes and an invitation for coffee on his tongue, but it didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter because the next weekend his roommate dragged him to a party and she was there, she was everywhere now that Nolan was unconsciously looking out for her. He ran into her in the hallways from one class to another, in the library, at parties and restaurants. It was like the world was screaming at him here! Here, look this way! Here it is, the rest of your life waiting for you! All you gotta do is look! 

He’d been there for hours already, bored and annoyed out of his mind when he saw her across the room. After nursing the same red cup of warm beer and looking at his watch every couple of minutes, calculating the appropriate time to bail he saw her. She’d been leaning against a wall, her expression changing from concealed humor to disbelief to a laugh that had her hiding behind her hand, entertained by whoever she’d been speaking to.

Who it was, Nolan doesn’t remember. He doesn’t even think about the cliche of it all, how the world faded when their eyes locked across the room and (Y/N) gave him a smile, shy, shrugging and turning back to her conversation. 

The funny pressure on his chest didn’t dissipate when he finally got a chance to exchange words with her. After the final exam, Nolan left the lecture hall and sat heavily on a bench by the door, catching his breath from the adrenaline of a month worth of study finally being over. 

(Y/N) was there, too, smiling sheepishly up at him as she crouched against the wall, elbows on her knees. Her expression brims with shy recognition as she nods. “How’d you do?”

She was talking about the exam. Nolan’s embarrassed to this day by the time it took for him to catch up. His cheeks were flushed when he answered. “I’m, uh, not flushing out yet, I hope.”

“You don’t sound too sure.”

“Ask me after I’ve slept some 12 hours,” he sighed, messing nervously with his hair. “Things usually seem less dire by then.”

“Would some coffee do the trick?” and Nolan didn’t know it then, but (Y/N) was nervous, bravery swelling inside her chest as she asked him for the first day of the rest of their lives. In the end, she’d been the one to catch up to all the signs, all the serendipitous opportunities to finally end up where they were supposed to. 

“Coffee can work,” Nolan, young and eager, said slowly. He couldn’t stop grinning, high with lack of sleep and the attention of a pretty girl. “You’re buying?”

“It’s only fair,” she shrugged, but there was something giddy about her expression that he still sees in her face to this day sometimes, bright and young. “You look like you’re about to drop dead.”

“And I still seem like worthy company?”

“I think we can pull a few good hours out of you yet,” a few hours, a few years; Nolan will be as sleepless as he was then on his wedding day out of pure excitement. They’ll have spent the night before the ceremony talking on the phone while they slept in separate rooms because their friends are sentimental little fucks like that and wouldn’t let him even kiss her goodbye before the big day. 

He’d described the few hours apart as agony in his vows, had made the crowd laugh and (Y/N) cry with the sentiment, and he wishes he hadn’t now. He shouldn’t have said a damned thing, shouldn’t have manifested any sort of agony into their lives because now the illusion cuts off sharply, and then he’s back in the waiting room, a nurse calling (Y/N)’s name while he plays with his wedding ring and bites the inside of his cheek, staring blankly into the hallway. 

Liv’s still there for some reason, as are some other officers and Amaro, while the others hunt down the man who landed their friend in the hospital. Munch had snapped at the Captain when he told him he couldn’t stay. Fin had to lead Amanda out of the hospital by the shoulders, too stricken to do it herself. 

Liv and Amaro stand when they hear the nurse but it takes Nolan a few moments to gather himself back together enough to pay attention. She tells them, gently, “She’s out of surgery. She lost a lot of blood, but only some of the bullet’s fragments hit her heart. It was touch and go but the doctor was able to extract all of them.”

Nolan’s lungs open up and he gets the first full breath washing over his body since Liv called. He must make a sound, because the attention in the room shifts to him, suffocating and inquisitive. His vision blurs for a second, not because of tears but adrenaline, his heartbeat pumping in his ears.

“She’s extremely lucky,” she continues, and she’s looking right at Nolan when she says this, like it's supposed to help. Like that’s what luck means, almost-but-not-quite bleeding out while your heart is stitched up back together. “Most people with injuries like this don’t even make it past the ambulance.”

Nolan closes his eyes in anguish. He presses his closed fists against his forehead, elbows on his knees, back hunched. It’s almost like he’s trying to disappear into himself, away from the image of an ambulance opening its doors when arriving at the hospital only to be met with his flatlining wife, the sound echoing through his brain and overriding every other of his senses.  

“There’s still a long way to go,” she continues, softer, realizing she’s hit a nerve. She turns to Liv and Nick, who are paying rapt attention even as Nick walks close to him to put a hand on Nolan’s shoulder, tight and steady. “She won’t wake up anytime soon. Her body needs rest and to recuperate from the most acute of her injuries. And the doctor would like to talk about next steps once she does.”

Next steps, Nolan thinks. Next steps, the only next steps he’s aware of are those that lead to his wife, the nurse walking him to her room. Olivia and Amaro trail behind him like a couple of guard dogs, standing alert for any sign of Nolan backing out or collapsing into his grief.

He just might. He feels queasy, nauseous with exhaustion and worry. But then he sees his wife, and, really, nothing else matters. 

“Sweetheart,” he says, devastated, walking to her bed across the hospital room. “Oh, honey.”

Despite his eagerness to touch her, Nolan flails when (Y/N)’s finally within arms reach. She looks asleep for one blissful, hopeful moment, but then Nolan blinks and the light settles; the ashiness of her skin, the uncomfortable placing of her body, the blank expression devoid of dreams or nightmares or consciousness. 

He’d usually be embarrassed to have a witness to such a personal display of affection, but not even Liv and Nick standing tall at the door can stop Nolan from eventually cupping (Y/N)’s face in his hands and kissing the apple of her cheek, lingering and gentle. He’s afraid of touching the rest of her, of jostling her too badly, but the steady noise of the heart rate monitor is a constant, loud reminder that (Y/N) won’t fall apart that easily.

Liv and Nick linger behind him, talking quietly amongst themselves in sharp whispers. It might or might not be an argument, and in Nolan’s mind it feels like both an eternity and a couple of seconds. He would kick them out if he could gather the energy to care about it. Eventually, Benson takes a few apprehensive steps into the room, seemingly having lost whatever fight she and her partner were having. 

“We’re on our way out,” she murmurs. “There’s a lead on our guy, the Captain’s calling us all back to the precinct. But if there’s anything…”

She trails off. Nolan doesn’t answer, studies instead the bridge of (Y/N)’s nose and the shape of her eyebrows, tries to count her eyelashes and catalog the bruises on her face. Liv sighs defeatedly and reaches for him.  

“Whatever you need,” Liv says firmly with a hand on his arm. Still, her steady presence is undermined by the way she keeps looking at (Y/N) like she’s already attending a funeral. Nolan suddenly can’t stand her, even if she rode the ambulance with (Y/N) to the hospital and kept her semi-conscious until the doctors took her off her hands. “We’re here for you, alright? All of us, Nolan. I’m serious.”

“Thanks,” he says, voice rough and cracked from swallowing down his panic and tears. He clears his throat but it does little to clear up his words. “Thank you, Liv. For everything.”

Her lips tighten in an unpleased line, but she nods and leaves the room with one last squeeze to his shoulder. He’s being ungrateful, the fact doesn’t escape him. Liv’s the one who found her, who held her hand in the ambulance before they drove her off to surgery. Nolan owes Benson his life.

The thought alone makes him so nauseous he has to clench his eyes shut, jaw tight, entire body trembling. God, what would he have done? What will he do, if something happens to (Y/N)? She isn’t out of the woods yet and if something goes wrong, if her body decides to cave in, if the wound gets infected, if there’s something they didn’t catch, if, if, if, if–

He lifts his head and catches his wife’s face, lax and motionless. Once again, the panic settles. He hasn’t gotten the chance to let it unfold the way it needs to. 

“I finally got you on your own,” Nolan says, soft, careful not to disturb the semblance of peace in the room. (Y/N) doesn’t answer, no matter how badly Nolan wants her to. “You’re very popular. A tough one to find these days, you know.”

She wasn’t even supposed to be in today. Cragen had called mere hours after they’d gone to bed– at the same time for the first time in weeks– and Nolan had done his best to stay up after the phone rang and (Y/N) began quickly getting ready. She’d kneeled next to his side of the bed and Nolan had leaned in to kiss her without thought, an automatic notion he wishes he’d paid more attention to now. 

I’ll call you when I can, she nudged her nose against his temple before pressing a kiss there. Nolan had already been half asleep at that point. Love you.

Love you back, Nolan mumbled, jutting his chin forward blindly. One more. 

He continues as if (Y/N) had spoken. “You’ve got half of the NYPD out there waiting on you. The nurses are rioting, but I don’t think anyone’ll leave until you wake up.”

Nolan’s voice loses the battle, it breaks right at the end of his sentence and so does his composure, eyes burning with tears that for some goddamned reason just won’t fall.

“Please,” he begs to the sky, to God, to no one. “Please, please, please. Wake up.”

He presses his forehead to his wife’s limp hand maybe a little too harshly. Even if the skin is cold and her grip is nonexistent, the relief the touch brings Nolan has him sobbing.

An hour ago she was in surgery, out of reach and sight even if she was already getting help.

Three hours ago she was bleeding out in some alleyway in Queens, struggling for her radio to call for help. Seven hours ago she was kissing him goodbye, smiling against his mouth despite the dark nature of the sudden case because Nolan kept pulling her in for one more kiss.

One more, one more, one more, his pleads begs now. Wake up and give me one more, sweetheart, come on now.

“Please, honey,” he whispers, wet and nasal with emotion. “I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready yet, I didn’t– I don’t–”

The words don’t come. Nolan chokes, holds (Y/N)’s hand in his own, and breathes, breathes, and breathes. 

—

Life moves on. 

Nolan doesn’t cry. God knows why, but he can’t, his body on automatic while his mind solely focuses on (Y/N)’s condition. The nurses know him by name and he makes record time to the apartment and back to the hospital for showers and quick naps, some food for the little appetite he has. 

He doesn’t even think to be offended when his boss places him on indefinite leave. Nolan can’t bring himself to care, he would’ve stacked up every sick day and vacation time available to stay at (Y/N)’s side as much as he could anyway. 

The squad offers to stand guard almost daily, which Nolan appreciates, but his object permanence has gone to shit. Whenever he doesn’t have eyes on (Y/N) his panic rises again like a tidal wave, never quite crashing but dwindling whenever he sits next to her at the hospital, hand on her ankle or arm or somewhere he can easily look for her pulse, weak but steady. 

It’s desperate, he knows, and more than a little pathetic, but Nolan feels like he’s allowed. Until (Y/N) wakes up to tell him he’s been worrying over nothing he will do as he pleases.

He talks to her. It’s another coping method that borders on delusion but no one has called him out of it yet. Not even Liv and Amaro, who have caught him more than once speaking quietly into the lull of the hospital room, holding his wife’s hand and drawing soothing motions with his thumb against her skin.

Mom drove into the steps again. The ones in the driveway? They were already loose from last time and now she has Dad driving through every Home Depot in North Carolina to find the right match. 

Jill sends her best. Last time I saw her she was talking my ear off about her kid’s college fund. Apparently her husband lost half of it during Tuesday night with the boys, whatever that means.

Munch says he owes you 20 bucks from the Giants game from two weeks ago? Which is weird, because you haven’t watched a full game since, like, ‘02. Not like you’re missing anything, but still, your accuracy to outsmart Munch in his own line of work is pretty outstanding. 

It helps. Or it helps enough; whenever he ventures over what they’ll do once she’s awake and at home together the illusion breaks and so does Nolan’s voice. He trails off, feeling foolish, the weight of his delusion pressing on his chest.    

“It’s not silly,” Munch tells him during one of his visits, the book he’s been reading to (Y/N) resting on his lap. “It’s helpful and it doesn’t hurt anyone. You’re talking to your wife. If I’d done more of that back in my day then maybe I’d still be married.”

“To which one?” Nolan asks, his lips tingling with the want to almost smile.

Munch points at him as if saying yahtzee. “Exactly.”

He’s so sure it calms Nolan more than you’d expect. So far Munch is the only other person who talks about (Y/N) like she’s still alive and thus, the only one who doesn’t make inexplicable helpless rage wash over Nolan whenever they’re in the same room. 

He’s the one with him when (Y/N) wakes. She does so in a panic, waking Nolan up from his uncomfortable sleep in the chair next to her bed. It’s a sudden flail after another as her heart rate monitor goes crazy and she doesn’t answer any call of her name, terrified and in pain.

It’s awful. Nolan doesn’t think he’ll ever forget how she almost tears at her stitches mid her panic while doctors and nurses gather around her and kick Nolan out with quick accuracy. There’s nothing he can do to help and he knows it, but he’s never supposed to be in a position in which he can’t help her.

He’s doomed to watch from a glass window, helpless, as his wife suffers without anyone to reach out to.  

She woke up but had to be sedated, a nurse tells him after, it’s normal for patients to be unaware of their surroundings after waking up from long periods of unconsciousness. We still haven’t been able to determine neurological damage, so we’ll have to wait until it wears off. 

“Kid, kid, hey,” Munch says, oddly alarmed after coming back from the cafeteria with two coffees and finding Nolan sitting outside (Y/N)’s room, crying into his knees. “What’s wrong, what happened? I was gone for fifteen minutes–”

Nolan tries to explain but the words get caught up in his throat, his grief taking over his sense of logic. She woke up, he meant to say. She woke up and she didn’t know where she was and I stood by like an idiot to watch her suffer. 

After he’s talked down from a panic attack he says, voice a mere croak. “She woke up. They don’t know– but she woke up.”

Munch sighs, visibly relieved as he squats next to Nolan, squeezing his shoulder in support. “Good. That’s good, hey– Nolan. That’s good, okay? That’s one step closer to getting her back. This is good.”

He repeats those words to himself like a mantra. This is good, this is good, this is good, and doesn’t dare to close his eyes for something other than blinking until (Y/N)’s conscious. It’s hours later, deep into the night when she opens her eyes again, groggy and disoriented, blinking into the dark hospital room. 

“Honey,” he says, quiet and so, so relieved. (Y/N) doesn’t appear to hear him and a flash of fear seizes his heart. He presses the button and calls for a nurse, edging closer to the bed. “(Y/N/N). Hey, honey, you with me?”

Arduously slowly, (Y/N) follows the sound of his voice. She blinks at him, gulping and saying, dry as the Sahara. “Nole.”

It’s the most glorious thing he’s ever heard. The smile that pulls at his mouth is unconscious, ripped from him almost against his will. He goes to touch her face, hands shaky and reverent. “Yeah. Yeah, sweetheart, it’s me.”

He offers her a drink and grips her hand all through the nurse’s examination, which she passes with flying colors. While she’s tinkering with her IV, (Y/N) asks him, “Bellevue?”

“Yeah,” he says grimly, thumb rubbing soothing motions against her skin, trying to infuse some warmth. 

“Shot?” she wonders next.

Nolan hesitates. “You don’t remember?”

“Guessin’,” she slurs, tired, blinks getting longer each time she closes her eyes. 

The nurse pipes up then with the same explanations she’s given Nolan the past few weeks: the bullet to her heart, the long-lasting surgery, and the even longer coma. (Y/N) nods in all the right places but her head rests against the pillow and her expression remains blank, like she’s not retaining any information.

“Anyone… else?” she asks.

“No,” Nolan responds, watching how tension falls off her frame when he confirms this fact. He wishes he felt the same, a selfish part of him wishes it had been someone else; Liv or Amaro or Fin here in this hospital bed instead of his wife. It’s true, even if the thought is followed by guilt. “No, everyone’s fine, honey. Working their asses off and worried out of their minds, but okay. It’s just you.”

(Y/N) hums and then promptly falls back asleep, breaths settling into an even rhythm. It’s then that his eyes water and his tears fall on the scratchy hospital sheets where (Y/N) lays.  Oh, Nolan thinks, almost surprised by them. So this is what it takes.  

Nolan bows his head and lets himself cry in silence. His breath keeps hitching, and the nauseating feeling of panic he’s been nursing for weeks finally explodes. He can’t feel his hands and feet, body numb all over. 

The next time he looks up, hours later, is because (Y/N)’s reaching to touch his face, tender and shaky. He snaps to attention like a soldier called to his battalion, but there’s no trouble chasing after them, no bad thing happening for once. They’re okay, alone and safe in her hospital room while nurses and doctors and visitors keep passing by just outside the door.

“You haven’t slept,” (Y/N) croaks out as she drops her hand from where she’d been gently pressing at the bags under Nolan’s eyes, tired from that simple movement. Her chest rises and falls with breaths that are a little too labored, but her eyes are fixed on her husband, worried. “Nole.”

It almost makes him smile: (Y/N) worrying about other people while she lies with a hole in her heart on a hospital bed. Nolan would laugh if he were sure it wouldn’t immediately turn into crying again, but there’s nothing funny about this. Nothing.

“‘m alright,” he promises, weak and croaky and wet from previous cries. (Y/N) looks a little too out of it, but also like she doesn’t believe him for a moment. He amends: “I will be. And so will you. You’re gonna be okay, honey.”

happy new year!!! i wanted to start the year giving you a little something after being so absent the last couple of months and i've had this piece in my drafts for ages! it was originally waaay longer but i thought i'd end it on a happy note and maybe make a part two if anyone's interested?

anyway! i hope you guys enjoy what has become one of my favorite pairings to write and i hope you had a good time last night and a great 2024! thank you for reading!

<3

[urrockstar-xe]

❤the xe-verse❤

here to help navigate ur journey thru the xe-verse!

❥ a little about me

requests are open!! please read the link above before sending asks

one-shots and imagines banners by @cafekitsune

❥ fem!reader - ★

❥ gn!reader - ☆

❥ platonic!reader - ✧

❥ smutty - ♥︎

fics under the cut :D

❥ imagines (definitions are wacky so in this case it's anything under 600 words)

tears, panic, noise. - chad meeks-martin ✧ ★

pretty - chad meeks-martin ★

study buddy - chad meeks-martin ☆

please, please, please - dick grayson ★

pros n cons - tasm!peter parker ★

❥ headcanons

jj maybank w a girly gf

steven grant w a witchy gf

❥ oneshots

potions test - sirius black ★

alone time - peter pettigrew ★

delicate lover - steve harrington ★

nail polish - steve harrington ★

six months - jj maybank ★

stargazing - jj maybank ★

meant for each other - jj maybank ★

bad friend - jj maybank ★

baby blanket - jj maybank ★

talk fast - jj maybank ★

got your back - jj maybank ★

comfort - jj maybank ★

never enough - jj maybank ★

precious - jj maybank ★

happy birthday - jj maybank ★

if u leave me - jj maybank ★

you are everything- jj maybank ★

melodic love - chad meeks-martin ★

liquid courage - chad meeks-martin ★

movie nights n pretty girls - chad meeks-martin ★

sneaking out - tara carpenter ★

i'll be right there, sweetheart - tasm!peter parker ★

math test - tasm!peter parker ★

detective sweetheart - nick amaro ★

❥ series

🕷 starstruck - tasm!peter parker ★

winter formal - starstruck pt 2

♡ the pogues react to pregnant!reader - a jj maybank headcanon ★

❥ Holiday specials

❥ valentine's day

forgotten valentines - peter parker ☆

steven's first v-day - steven grant ☆

3 teen boys vs 1 pretty girl - jj maybank ★

fuck valentine's day - elliot from euphoria ☆

valentine's day with dick grayson - a headcanon ☆

❥ xemas

decorating the tree - frank castle ☆

wrapping presents - steve harrington ☆

family scrapbooks - steve harrington ☆✧

snow day - marauders ☆

looking at lights - marauders ☆

mistletoe mishaps - jason todd ★

[cathrrrine]

based on this incorrect quote i posted

how the svu characters would react to your “would you still love me if i was a worm?” text

Sonny Carisi

Amanda Rollins

Nick Amaro

Fin Tutuola

Rafael Barba

Olivia Benson

Elliot Stabler

Part 2!

[megalony]

Main Masterlist

As my other masterlist is rather old and made on an old template, I decided to create an updated one with the main fandoms I'm open to writing for.

This is mainly just so it is easier for me and to keep everything neat and in order.

Evan Buckley Masterlist (911)

Eddie Diaz Masterlist (911)

Twisters:

Tyler Owens:

Just Hold On

Top Gun: Maverick:

Jake Seresin (Hangman):

Don't Worry Darlin'

You Called My Wife?

X-Men:

Charles Xavier:

Use Your Voice

Henry Cavill:

Collateral

Everything Will Be Alright

Like father, Like son (Series masterlist)

His Queen

My Hero (Series masterlist)

That’s my son

Look at us (Series masterlist)

Painless (Series masterlist)

A man named uncle (Series)

Chris Evans:

The Evans boys (series)

Little one

Sleepwalker

Soft Spot (Series)

Part 2

Law and Order SVU:

Nick Amaro:

Help A Girl Out

Leave Her Out Of This

You Are Home

Bed Rest

Little Flirt

Rafael Barba:

Courtroom Chaos

Safe in my arms

My counsellor, my lover

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Reliving the dream   (Series)

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Dominic (Sonny) Carisi:

Hostage

Stay with me

Purple

Abandoned

Close call

An eventful night

Elliot Stabler:

Baby boy

Screaming

House of the Dragon:

Aegon II Targaryen:

Say It Again

I Won’t Allow It

Little Dragon

Unworthy

Aemond Targaryen:

Lady of the Night     Part 2

Perfectly Inadequate

That’s a promise

[pascalispretty]

Take The Edge Off

Nick Amaro x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Wordcount: 3464

Warnings: dirty talk, discussion of sexts/sexting, swearing, car sex/sex in a semi-public place, unsafe sex, biting.

Summary: You and Nick have been trying to find the time to hook up for days. Eventually, you resort to desperate measures to take the edge off. Written for the 'I can never seem to get enough of you' square of @storiesofsvu's bingo. This one was entirely @misscharlielulu's fault. (ao3)

The first photo felt a little silly. You had gotten all dressed up and ready for Nick to come over after work - which had really involved undressing, save for some thigh-highs - only for him to cancel on you. Major case, couldn’t get away from the precinct, short staffed, the usual interruptions. In your frustration, you had wanted some sort of payback. 

Which had led to you propping your feet up on the headboard so you could take an artful shot of your legs, clad in your stockings. You know all too well how much Nick likes them, how distracting he finds it when you wear them around him. So you sent the photo off without much thought and went and had a cold shower.  

You had come back to a flurry of text messages on your phone. 

N: You can’t just send me stuff like that

N: I’m at work. 

N: Once I get done here, I’ll come over

N: You’re in so much trouble 

Smirking to yourself, you had sent a quick reply. 

I hope so.

Your hopes had been dashed again when your phone had rung less than an hour later - instead of Nick, it had been your editor. Some socialite causing havoc uptown, he needed something for the Ledger’s website. The stockings had come off, you had taken the train uptown, and Nick had gotten an apologetic text trying to reschedule for the next night. 

It had been the pattern of the last few days. You had gotten bolder in sending Nick photos - never with your face visible - and downright filthy texts, and he had responded with plenty of dirty messages of his own. Neither of you had been able to find the time to get together all week, and judging from the texts, he was feeling the frustration as keenly as you were.

Tonight, blessedly, your schedules aligned. Nick was on a late, so you spent more time than strictly necessary getting ready; picking out nice lingerie, making sure your aesthetician hadn’t missed anything when you went in for your wax last weekend, shaving and lotioning your legs. It’s going suspiciously well, and you’re beginning to wonder if your luck has finally turned when you hear a key in the door. 

Luckily you’d dressed, despite an agreement that you’d have the place to yourself for the evening. Your roommate barges into the apartment, looking as though she’s run all the way up from the subway station, her boyfriend in tow. 

“Sorry, sweetheart. I know I said I’d stay out, but Ned got the train up to see me, isn’t he so sweet?” Hannah manages, barely pausing as she passes you in the lounge. “Doesn’t your friend have his own place you can go to?” You want to argue back, but her bedroom door slams before you can get a chance. 

Not that you have much room to argue with her, since her parents pay half the rent on the apartment. Instead, you return to your bedroom to find your headphones and turn your music on as high as it’ll go before any noises start up from Hannah’s room. 

Yes, Nick had his own place, but the whole point of him coming to you was because you lived closer. Less time to wait, after days of dancing around one another. In good traffic, it was barely a ten-minute drive from the precinct to your apartment. From your place to his would take over half an hour, even without accounting for traffic. Frustrated, you flop back onto the couch. 

You could text Nick and tell him about the change in plans. The last thing you want to do is reschedule. Whatever you have with Nick might be casual, but it’s still been far too long since you last had sex with him. Before you can do anything, your phone vibrates against your stomach. 

N: I’m downstairs, can you buzz me up? 

You must have missed the sound of the intercom thanks to your headphones. Instead of buzzing him into the building, you grab your bag and head downstairs, only taking your headphones off once you’re safely out of earshot of Hannah’s bedroom. 

Nick is standing right outside when you open the door of your apartment building. If he’s surprised that you came downstairs, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he crowds you back into the lobby and kisses you. Nick’s arms wrap around your waist, holding you tight to him as he kisses you with an intensity that takes your breath away. His full lips are soft against yours. When his tongue dips into your mouth, your knees nearly buckle. It’s been too long. 

“We can’t stay here,” you blurt out as soon as he breaks the kiss. You curl your fingers around the lapel of his blazer, trying to keep him close even as you tell him he has to leave. He frowns down at you. 

“I thought your roommate-”

“Her boyfriend surprised her. Can we go to yours?” Given that he’d been willing to spend the night with you, you feel safe in assuming that neither of his children are around. And despite the vague, ill-defined boundaries the two of you have tried to establish, you’ve spent entire weekends at Nick’s place before. Nick sighs deeply, bumping his forehead against yours. 

“There was an accident on FDR Drive, the traffic’ll be terrible.” He groans, arms still holding you close. You know he must be feeling as frustrated and needy as you do. 

“If it gets really bad, we could always just fuck in the car,” you say teasingly. “Take the edge off.” At least that makes him chuckle, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he smiles. Keeping one arm around your waist, he leads you back through the front door. 

“You’re a menace, kid.” Nick squeezes your waist as the two of you walk towards his car. “You cannot send me photos like that when I’m on a stakeout with Benson.” 

“Photos like what?” You ask, widening your eyes in feigned innocence as you open the car door. “You mean like the one where my tits were practically falling out of my bra and-”

“Yes, like that. I work in sex crimes, it’s a bad look if I get turned on at work.” He slides into the driver’s seat, and you don’t miss the lingering look he gives your legs as he throws his blazer into the backseat. His shirtsleeves are rolled up, and you can’t help admiring his forearms. 

“I don’t recall you complaining.” You cross your legs, letting the lace of your thigh-highs show. “In fact, shall we review the evidence?” You retrieve your phone from your bag, opening your messages from Nick. 

“You’re not funny,” Nick starts, but he’s doing a poor job of attempting to sound grumpy. You make yourself comfortable in the passenger seat as he starts to drive, scrolling back through your messages. 

“I’m not trying to be funny, Detective, I’m making my case. You said that I can’t send you photos like that when you’re at work, but here you are straight after the fabulous photo of my tits telling me ‘they’d look even better with my come on them’.” You watch gleefully as Nick’s hands tighten on the steering wheel; there’s little you enjoy more than attempting to rile Nick up like this. He’s doing a very good job of pretending to be unaffected, but you can see the faint smile playing at the corner of his mouth. 

“Guilty.” 

“And at one-thirteen AM the same night, you sent me a very vivid description of what you were thinking about while you jerked off. Do you need me to refresh your memory, Detective?” You can’t even complain about the lack of photos on his part; the texts he had sent back had been plenty descriptive. 

“I was there, I remember.” Nick’s smirking now, that roguish grin that you love. The two of you seem to have hit the traffic that he warned about, but you keep going. 

“I’ll remind you anyway. That long message, telling me that you got yourself off thinking about the time you fingerfucked me under the table at that dive bar downtown. How badly you wished you’d taken me into the bathroom and fucked me in one of the stalls. It was quite the text to wake up to.” You prop your feet up on the dashboard, your skirt riding even higher around your thighs. The motion draws Nick’s eyes, and you can practically feel his gaze dragging over your skin. 

“Well, I hope it at least gave you something nice to think about while you were in your staff meeting.” 

“Oh, it did. One of the few upsides of being a woman; you can be as turned on as you like in public, nobody’ll ever know.” The traffic is inching forwards, but you feel like you could crawl out of your skin with how aroused you feel. You glance over at Nick, pleased to see he appears to be suffering as much as you are. 

The two of you have spent the better part of the week engaged in long-distance foreplay; being alone but unable to do anything has to be driving him as insane as it is you. 

“You think you’re that good at hiding it?” Nick asks, taking advantage of a red light to turn his head and look you in the eye. “If anyone would have looked twice at you in that bar, they would have known.” 

“That’s different, you were edging me. Everybody can see if a guy gets hard in public; if a girl gets wet, nobody sees.” You tilt your head, examining the cars around you. Before you can change your mind, you lift your hips up just enough to be able to hook your fingers into the waistband of your underwear and slide them off. 

“What are you doing?” Nick asks, barely blinking as you toss the damp black lace over your shoulder into the backseat. You tug your skirt back down just enough to cover yourself and give a nonchalant shrug. 

“Thinking of ways to save time when we finally get out of this car-” you start, a horn from the car behind you cutting you off. The traffic has inched forward since Nick took his eyes off the road, and he turns his attention back to it now. 

“I told you the traffic would be terrible.” 

“What would you have preferred, we stay at my place and try fucking to the sounds of Hannah and her boyfriend going at it in the next room? Or should we have gone to the precinct and done it there?” You tease, yelping when he playfully slaps your thigh. He keeps his hand on your thigh, his thumb stroking over the black lace of your stocking. 

“I hate that you have a roommate.” 

“Sorry, Detective, we don’t all make six-figure salaries. With what the paper pays me, you’re lucky it’s just the one roommate and not five. And I definitely wouldn’t live close enough to the precinct for you to come over on your lunch break when you need to take the edge off.” You cover his hand on your thigh with your own, squeezing gently. 

His skin feels burning hot against yours, even with the barrier of your stocking. You tip your head back against the seat, any clever comment dying on your tongue. His fingers are so close to where you want them, just inches away from the apex of your thighs. 

You let your eyes flutter closed, your imagination running wild. In the dark corner of a dive bar with a table obscuring his hands had been one thing; you’re not sure Nick is actually bold enough to slide his hand higher, where anybody could look through the window and see.

Still, the idea alone has your breath catching in your chest, your legs spreading subtly wider. The tension in the car is so thick, you crack your window just to let some fresh air in. 

“You get bored of reading out sexts?” Nick asks, and you don’t even have to open your eyes to know that he’s smirking at you. 

“I made my point,” you manage, hyperfocused on Nick’s thumb stroking your thigh. It’s such a light, gentle touch, but you’re so pent up that even that is driving you to distraction. In fact, it distracts you so well that it takes you a while to notice that the car is moving faster than it should be if you were still stuck in traffic. 

“Did we get past the traffic already?” You ask, opening your eyes finally. The road certainly looks clearer, but you’re not entirely sure which borough you’re even in right now. Nick’s hand is still on your thigh, but he’s focusing on driving. 

“No, I ah- I’m taking one of your suggestions.” It’s all the explanation he offers. You frown, trying to remember what you’ve said. 

“I wasn’t serious about fucking in the precinct. Not that it wouldn’t be kinda hot, but Benson seems like she could be really scary-”

“We’re not going to the precinct,” he says evenly. Your frown deepens and you glance around, searching for some clue as to where Nick is driving you. The streets are growing quieter, and you swallow thickly when you realise he’s driving somewhere that the two of you won’t be seen. Nick seems to know where he’s going; you trust him.

It’s not long before Nick pulls into a nondescript parking garage. Your heart is beating so fast that your chest aches. Neither of you speaks as Nick finds a space tucked away behind a pillar and parks, as though some sort of spell has settled over you both and a single word will shatter it. 

You can’t actually be about to do this. One of you will break. One of you has to. 

Your seatbelt clicks softly as you release it, but the sound echoes through the space like a starting pistol. Nick undoes his own, his hands finding you before you can open your mouth to ask about positioning and dragging you across the car, onto his lap. You situate yourself as best as you can in the confined space, banging your head on the roof of the car as you try and straddle him. 

Nick’s hand slides into your hair, cupping the back of your head and pulling you in for a kiss. If the kiss in the lobby was intense, then you don’t have a word to describe this one. You can’t breathe, but it doesn’t matter. You could die a happy woman, being kissed like this; Nick’s tongue licking against yours, a low sound rumbling through his chest as he pulls you closer. 

Your fingers find the buckle of Nick’s belt, your back curving awkwardly to give yourself the space to move. There’ll be no finesse here, but the two of you are long past caring. It doesn’t take you long to undo his belt and pants, and you feel his breath hitch when you slide your hand under his waistband. 

He’s already rock-hard to your touch, and Nick breaks the kiss to moan into your neck as you take him out. His breath is hot against your skin, his hands sliding down to grasp your hips. With your free hand, you clutch his shoulder as you align the tip of his cock with your entrance and slowly sink down onto him. 

You feel every inch of him stretching your soft walls. The consequences of no physical foreplay, though you’re at least wet enough that it doesn’t hurt. You bite your lip, trapping a moan in your mouth. Nick’s fingers flex on your hips. It’s rare that he lets you ride him and you can feel him itching to find a degree of control in the situation. 

You tip forward when he bottoms out inside you, burying your face against his shoulder to stifle your moan. One of your hands clutches at his bicep; the other grabs a fistful of his shirt over his free shoulder. A full-body shudder runs through Nick, and he gasps against your neck. 

“Oh fuck, baby-” he chokes out, his grip on your hips so tight you wonder if it might bruise. You’re not even moving, but that familiar heat is already radiating out through your body, lighting up your nerve endings. You keep your face pressed against Nick’s shoulder as you give a testing pull of your hips upward. 

He hisses into your neck through gritted teeth, every muscle he has held taut as he tries to cling onto a degree of restraint. 

“There’s not enough room in here, is there?” You ask in a whisper, your voice hitching as you sink back down onto him. “You can’t grab my hips and bounce me on your cock like you want to; I’d hit my head.” You feel his low groan reverberate through his chest. Knowing you need to be quick, you start to fuck yourself onto him, riding him as best as you can in the cramped space. 

Nick brings one of his hands up to cup the top of your head, keeping your face tucked against his neck. With your head still, he rolls his hips to meet your movements. The shallow thrusts make the head of his cock push up tight against your g-spot with every pass, sending pleasure lancing through you. You turn your head to moan against his shoulder, muffling the sound in his shirt. 

“That’s it, baby, ride me,” Nick manages, his voice tight. “You feel so fucking good, my perfect girl, just like that-” He knows hearing him will help you get over the edge - ever the gentleman, wanting to make sure you come first. 

He needn’t have worried. The sheer relief of being with him again after wanting him for what felt like weeks, and the illicit nature of what you’re doing gives everything a sharper edge. You’re so wet you can feel your slick halfway down your thighs. 

It’s dirty and fucked-up, and it’s so fucking perfect. 

“Oh Nick-” you pant into his shoulder. Your whole body is thrumming, like you’ve touched a live wire. “You make me feel so full, wanna feel you all the time, fuck-” You’re rambling, careening closer to that orgasmic high. Another low groan rips through Nick as your cunt clamps down around him, muffled by him nipping at your neck. The feeling of his teeth on the delicate skin is enough to send you over the edge. 

You chant his name mindlessly as you come, your face pressed so tightly against his shoulder to muffle your voice that you can’t breathe. Everything in you pulls tight and then lets go, delicious heat racing through your body until you can feel it in your toes. 

The force of it makes you sag forwards against Nick, boneless. He takes over, rocking deeper and pulling you tighter against his body. You swear you feel his cock throb inside of you, the feeling making your cunt clamp down around him in turn. 

Nick groans into your neck as he spills inside you, filling you up as he holds you as tightly as he can without hurting you. You’re both breathing raggedly; neither of you tries to move for a long moment. 

“I can’t believe we just did that,” Nick murmurs eventually. You can’t help but snicker, your head still resting against his shoulder. You hear the click as he cracks his window; you assume the glass has steamed up. You resist the urge to swipe your hand against it like Rose in Titanic. 

“Me either. Nicholas Amaro, SVU Detective, fucking a girl in public,” you tut teasingly. Your knees are starting to ache, but it’s not enough to make you move just yet; you’re enjoying being draped over Nick like this, still split open by his cock. 

“What can I say? You’re a terrible influence, kid. I can never seem to get enough of you.” 

“Oh, I’m the bad influence?” You sit up, shuddering at the feeling of him shifting inside of you. He’s giving you that smile; the one that oozes charm and shows off his dimples. Before you can object further, he kisses you. It’s softer this time, unhurried. You could stay here for hours under different circumstances. 

“The worst,” Nick murmurs when he pulls away, running his hand down your back. “You incited a cop into committing a misdemeanour.” 

“You were the one driving”, you point out. “If you wanted me to behave myself, you could have handcuffed me and ignored me ‘til we got back to your place.” 

“Oh, don’t worry. The handcuffs’ll be waiting for you when I get you home.” 

[reareaotaku]

Nick Amaro Headcanons

TW: Slight NSFW

Perfect father figure

If you have kids with him or already have kids, he's great with them

If you don't have kids with him, he wants one

^ He'll beg and plead. He feels like this is a strong connection between the two of you

He just wants a child that looks like the both of you

He's super protective over you

If you're ever in danger, he practically loses his mind

Nearly beat a guy to death because he had threatened you

If he thinks you're not eating properly, he'll be at your home with food

He will shove the food down your throat if he has too

He just wants what's best for you

Best care taker in the world. If you're ever sick he's taking off work to take care of you

He's a surprisingly good cook [He gets it from his momma]

You and his mother become close. She treats you better than she treats her son, because- her words- "You're too sweet for a boy like Nick"

He'll propose surprisingly fast

He just wants to tie the knot

He loves you more than you love him. He also probably fell in love first

He'll watch rom-coms and such with you

Sometimes you forget that he's a tough, bad ass cop, with the way he acts towards you

A sweet gentle teddy bear

Especially in bed

He's so gentle and is there to please you

He doesn't satisfy himself, until you're satisfied

He wants to see those legs shaking. He'll grab the inner thigh, close to your ass, squeezing tightly as you wrap them around his waist. He's kissing your neck, sucking and licking, leaving dark hickeys. You feel him everywhere all at once and it's so overwhelming, but yet it feels so good

He gets jealous really easily, like extremely. He knows you're a pretty girl, but you're obviously taken. He gets very aggressive, but never at you. When he's mad at you, he avoids you so he doesn't take it out on you

He could never hurt you and he doesn't want too

[fatecantstopme]

Trust Changes Everything

Pairing: Nick Amaro x Reader

Summary: Let's get frisky...It's smut for smut's sake.

Warnings: Cursing, use of pet names. SMUT, definite dom/sub vibes, orgasm denial, restraints, blindfold, oral (M receiving), unprotected sex (P in V), fingering.

"Hola hermosa," your boyfriend said softly as he came to wrap his arms around your middle. "What'cha cooking?"

You leaned back into his warm, strong embrace. "Technically, I'm baking."

His lips pressed sweetly onto your exposed shoulder. "Mhm...what'cha baking then?"

"Chocolate chip cookies for Amanda's birthday tomorrow."

"Such a considerate friend, querida," he murmured.

You hummed in response as you turned in his arms to face him properly. "You're home early."

"I missed you," he said with a cheeky smile.

You chuckled softly, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him in for a soft kiss. "I missed you too, but why are you actually home early?"

"It's possible I feigned illness so I could come home."

"Nick Amaro!" you chided. "The squad is short-staffed as it is and I was out today too and--and you're kidding."

He grinned. "I love it when you get riled up."

"I hate you," you grumbled.

"Sure you do."

You glared at him, which only made him laugh harder. It didn't help that you were significantly shorter than him, making your anger almost comical.

"It was a slow day, so Liv graciously sent me home early to check on you," he finally admitted.

"She didn't need to do that. I'm feeling just fine."

Nick raised his eyebrows, clearly not believing you. "You felt poorly enough to call off from work this morning, which is not at all like you...but you want me to believe you're magically all better now?"

"I'm not sick, Nick."

He sighed softly and brushed a lock of hair out of your face. "Not physically, perhaps, but you had a very rough morning querida. I worried about you all day."

You shrugged. "Just nightmares, Nick--it's nothing to worry about."

He took your hands in his. "It's my job to worry about you. That case was rough and it hit you harder than anyone else. So if you wanna talk about it..."

"I'm fine, mi amor," you insisted. "I don't need to talk about it."

He nodded. "Well if talking is off the table, I have some other ideas to help you relax and get your mind off of things."

"Oh? What did you have in mind?"

He brushed his body against yours, allowing you to feel the heat emanating from him. "It involves your gorgeous naked body on my bed, some scented candles, and perhaps some massage oil."

You smiled at him. He always knew what you needed when you wanted to relax--and he was right on the money as always. The only issue was you didn't actually want to relax. You wanted to work out your frustrations over one of the most difficult cases of your career...and that meant something very different than what he had in mind.

"As lovely as that sounds, Nick, I'm in the mood for something a bit...rougher."

He looked a little surprised. "Rougher? Like what?"

Nick was a very gentle and attentive lover, always making sure you were completely satisfied in any sexual encounter you ever had with him. You loved his sweet, giving nature, but sometimes you wanted him to fuck you absolutely senseless.

Nick tended to take on a very soft dominant role in the bedroom and normally that was exactly what you needed, but you didn't want him to be soft tonight. You needed more from him--in ways the two of you had not yet explored together.

"I want you to take complete control--use me for your own pleasure. I don't even care if I cum, I just want you to feel satisfied."

He looked a little confused, so you elaborated further.

"Give in to some of your darker fantasies, Nick--treat me like I'm nothing more than an object for your gratification."

"Querida...I-I'm not sure I can do that."

You felt a little crestfallen, but you understood. It wasn't in his nature to treat you that way. "It's okay."

"Hey," he murmured, warm hand lifting your chin so he could look into your eyes. "Is this something you really want?"

You nodded vehemently. "Very much."

"Have I--have I not been satisfying you in bed?"

"Oh god no, Nick. Please don't think that. I love the way you love me, the way you make me feel. You're an incredible lover. It's just that sometimes I need something more--something to ground me in a way only a lover can."

He looked relieved, but still a bit unsure. "You know I'll do anything for you, (Y/N/N)."

You nodded.

"I just don't like the idea of taking advantage of you or hurting you--I don't want you to think I get off on that stuff or it's who I am or something."

"Nick, we've been together for six months and I've known you much longer than that. I would never think you capable of either of those things, okay?"

He nodded, clearly appreciative of your reassurances. "Okay, so...what do I do exactly?"

"Whatever you feel is right. Just trust your instincts. I'll tell you if I'm not into it or if I need to stop."

He nodded again. "Safeword?"

"Pineapple, as per usual."

"Alright. Promise me you'll use it if I do something you're not feeling."

"I promise."

"Good girl."

You watched as Nick's demeanor shifted from the loving man you knew him to be to a domineering presence you'd only seen him don at work. You couldn't deny the rush of arousal straight to your core, the anticipation alone making your knees weak.

"Strip and lay on the bed, face down." His tone left no room for questioning, and you raced to do as he'd demanded.

You laid face-down on the bed and waited for his next move. You heard him enter the bedroom and stalk closer to the bed. Suddenly, you felt the cool, silky fabric of his tie wrap around your face, blinding you completely.

"Is this okay?" he murmured.

"It's very okay, Nick," you confirmed. "Don't ask, baby--just do. I want to feel like you're in complete control."

He tied the silk tightly around the back of your head and leaned forward to growl lowly into your ear. "Count, (Y/N)."

You knew exactly what he was going to do next and your body shivered with anticipation. You felt his hands slide down your back, coming to rest on the curve of your ass. The first smack caught you by surprise, but it wasn't as hard as you needed.

"One," you counted. "Harder, please sir."

When his hand came down the second time, it was harder, but still not quite what you wanted.

As if he could sense it, Nick chuckled darkly. "You want harder, baby? Let's see what you can take."

The next three smacks were progressively harder and each one sent a thrill of pain-pleasure through your body. After the fifth, his large hands soothed your burning skin before he ordered you to flip onto your back.

You did as he asked, hands above your head. You felt the cold metal of his handcuffs wrapping around your left wrist, pulled through the bars on the headboard, then placed on your right wrist. You tugged lightly and found you were secured tightly to the headboard, now unable to move your arms.

"You look so pretty like this," Nick said softly. "All laid out for me, practically begging me to fuck you."

You whimpered softly, need coursing through your body.

"Don't worry needy girl, I'll fuck you soon enough. You just need to be patient."

You heard his movements near the bed, but you weren't sure what was happening until you heard the distinctive sound of his pants unzipping. Your pussy ached for his touch and you brought your legs together in search of some friction.

You yelped when his hand roughly smacked your upper thigh. "Keep those legs open. The only pleasure you're going to get is gonna come from me."

"Yes sir."

After a few moments, you felt the bed dip down as he climbed on top of you. You could feel the heat from his skin as he hovered over you, but the blindfold prevented you from seeing what he was going to do next.

"Open your mouth," he demanded.

You immediately did as requested.

"Good girl," he murmured.

You felt him shift before he slid his hard cock into your waiting mouth. You moaned happily, enjoying the sensation.

"I'm gonna fuck that pretty mouth of yours, baby, and you're gonna take it."

You couldn't respond verbally, but you nodded as enthusiastically as you could.

Your nod was all he needed to begin to properly fuck your mouth, taking everything you had to give and then some. You gaged around his large member, which only seemed to spur him on. The sounds coming from Nick's mouth were surprisingly obscene and you loved that you were the one making him feel so good.

After a few minutes, he removed himself from your mouth and you whimpered softly at the feeling of emptiness. He chuckled darkly and wiped some saliva from your chin before crashing his lips down against yours.

He broke the kiss when he heard you struggle against the handcuffs--clearly desperate to touch him. "If you tell me what you want baby, I might be generous enough to give it to you."

"Please fuck me, sir. Please," you begged.

"Well since you asked so nicely..."

You felt him spread your legs even wider and line himself up with your entrance. He rubbed the head of his cock up and down between your pussy folds, releasing a deep groan along with you.

Nick took a moment to steel himself, glad you couldn't see his worried expression. He desperately wanted to give you everything you asked for, even if it went against his nature. He didn't want to hurt you, but he couldn't deny how incredibly turned on you were by everything he'd done so far.

Without warning, he fully sheathed his cock inside you with one hard thrust. He didn't give you a single moment to adjust, instead setting a brutal pace from the start. He'd never come before you before--ever--but this was what you wanted, so he began to chase his orgasm immediately.

"Fuck, baby, your pussy feels so good--love the way you're squeezing me."

You moaned loudly, tugging at your bindings in a desperate need to touch him. You could feel the power in each of his thrusts, along with the agonizing pleasure of the stretch he always provided you.

"I wanna see you," you gasped, suddenly filled with the urge to watch him fall apart--fall apart for you.

"Beg me for it."

"Please, sir. Please, I wanna see you. I need to. Please, sir. I'll do anything."

He smiled and reached behind your head to untie the tie. "You sound so pretty when you beg for me."

He tossed the tie onto the bed, continuing to fuck you like he needed your pussy in order to survive. You watched him above you, gorgeous face shiny with a light layer of sweat, eyes locked onto yours as he chased his orgasm.

"You fuck me so well, sir," you praised him.

He groaned loudly, surprised by how much he liked hearing you praise him like that. "It's this sweet pussy of yours, baby. I can't get enough of it."

You smiled, the expression a mixture of physical and emotional pleasure. Now that you could see him, you wanted to watch him come for you--wanted to focus entirely on his face in the moment.

"I want you to fill me up, sir. Please, I need it."

"Yeah? Want me to fill you up?"

"Wanna feel your cum leaking out of me all night," you added.

"Mierda," he groaned. His thrusts became sloppier and his moans rougher. "Gonna cum for you, baby."

"Please, papi. Fill me up."

"Fuck!" he growled as he came, orgasm shockingly explosive. He thrust a few more times before collapsing on top of you, completely out of breath.

You wanted to wrap your arms around him, to comfort him and hold him, but your wrists were still securely fastened to the headboard.

After a few more moments, Nick pulled himself up into a sitting position and slipped his fingers between your folds, toying with your overly needy and sensitive clit. His dark brown eyes were fixed on yours, his own needs now the farthest thing from his mind.

"You don't have to--" you started.

"This isn't about you, querida," he cut in. "This is for my enjoyment. I wanna watch you come apart on my fingers."

You nodded, relaxing your body and allowing the pleasurable sensations to wash over you.

"That's it, hermosa. Just relax for me." His voice wasn't quite as harsh as it had been before, but there was still a clear demanding tone.

"I'm so close," you whimpered.

"I know, baby. I can feel it."

Your moans were like music to his ears--music he never wanted to stop listening to.

"I'm gonna cum," you gasped.

"No you're not," Nick said firmly, fingers not stopping their ministrations.

"Wha-what?"

"You don't cum until I say you can."

"But I-I can't hold it."

"You will or there will be consequences."

You focused all your energy on not coming, eyes squeezed shut in concentration. "Please," you whimpered.

"Not yet."

"Please, I-I can't--"

"Look at me, querida," he ordered.

Your eyes snapped open and you looked at his handsome face.

"Cum for me, mi amor."

You cried out a mixture of curse words and his name as your orgasm rushed through you with incredible intensity.

Nick didn't stop his movements until you began to beg him to stop--too sensitive for anything more.

Nick moved up your body and placed a soft, loving kiss to your lips. "You alright, hermosa?"

You nodded, still trying to catch your breath.

He smiled and reached for the handcuff key on the nightstand. "Let's get these off of you."

He quickly released you from the cuffs and you sighed happily as you relaxed your arms.

"Oh god," Nick said as he gently grabbed ahold of your arm. "Mi amor...god, I'm so sorry."

"For what?" you asked in confusion.

"Your wrists," he whispered.

You looked down at your wrists, angry bruises already forming from the way you'd fought against the handcuffs. You pulled yourself up into a sitting position so you could properly look at Nick.

"I'm perfectly fine, baby," you assured him. "The pain is part of my enjoyment. I'm glad you used them on me."

He looked a little worried still, but he seemed less upset. "Maybe we buy fuzzy ones for next time?"

You chuckled lightly. "Will it make you feel better?"

He nodded and you caressed his face lovingly. "Alright then. We'll buy some fuzzy ones."

He smiled warmly. "As difficult as it was for me to be so selfish tonight, I saw how much you loved it--how turned on you were--and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hot as hell."

You grinned. "I enjoyed every moment of it, Nick. Thank you."

"Thank you for trusting me," he murmured, leaning in to kiss you softly.

"I trust you with my life, Nick Amaro, so it's not hard to trust you with my kinks too."

He chuckled lightly. "I'm happy to help you make any fantasy you want come to life. As long as you're happy, I'm happy."

"The same goes for you--no fantasy is too wild for me."

He raised an eyebrow. "Challenged accepted."

You laughed warmly and he joined in. You leaned into his warm embrace, feeling safe, loved, and blessed to have found such an amazing partner.

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Nick Amaro NSFW Alphabet  

Guys I finished rewatching season 14 and I forgot how much I hate the storyline they give Nick. I love him as a character, but I would love to completely reconstruct his backstory. He has to be one of the most personally screwed-over characters in SVU. Am I the only one who hates the hidden love child-which I’m completely disregarding? Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this!  

Warnings- Some Maria-hate (sorry not sorry).  

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) 

Nick's aftercare is exceptional. He cleans you up, washing any mess he has made off you with a warm washcloth or a hot shower. Then it is cuddling and whatever you want in your post-glow bliss. Usually, it’s time for you to talk about whatever you want. Something you did, a movie you saw, an awful joke you heard that you laughed at but didn’t seem worth bothering him about. He wants to hear it all.

It’s a time that you have this full attention. Sometimes it leads to more vulnerable emotional conversations that he seems to have an easier time having when his walls are down after sex. Sometimes words are too much and the two of you just hold each other, caressing each other's bodies.  

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)  

Nick’s favorite body part of himself is his hands. They are rough, calloused, and strong from years of sports, hard work, and shooting a gun. They are dexterous and versatile enough to accomplish his endless paperwork, playing catch with Zara, fixing things around the house, and his favorite teasing you with them until you come apart so prettily with his name on your lips. 

Nick loves your entire body. He tells you all the time there is nothing he would ever change. He loves your curves and doesn’t discriminate between them. Why be a boobs or ass man, when he has two hands and a willing mouth that can have both and more?  

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)  

Nick is a jealous man, and he knows it. You are his and nobody else. After spending a significant amount of time watching any another man try to talk or flirt with you there is nothing more that he wants to do than take you to his bed and paint his cum all over your body. It gives him undeniable satisfaction seeing his seed on your skin claiming you in the most barbaric way. He should hate it because it may be considered demeaning, but he can’t. Even later when he is cleaning you up, he smiles knowing the evidence of his DNA still lingers on your skin, clinging to you.    

D = Dirty secret (self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)  

It’s not necessarily dirty but you made Nick come embarrassingly early by calling him Papi one day out of nowhere while you were riding him. He never liked the idea of being called daddy by his partners. It seemed weird to him but hearing the word Papi come from your lips as you took your pleasure from him did all the right things.

When you guys were basking in the afterglow, he casually asked you about the nickname. You had admitted that one of your friends had told you it was a common term of endearment for Cuban men but you seemed a bit embarrassed. Instead of just telling you he liked it he spent the next few months trying to casually reinforce the nickname whenever you used it by getting you off as many times as possible.     

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)  

Nick has experience. While he did go through a bit of a Casanova stage in his teens and early twenties, he has always been more of a long-term partner kind of guy. The different women did teach him about different ways to enjoy sex and a bit of experimentation. However, when he married Maria, it was narrowed down to what she liked. She liked sex that was very plain and vanilla, missionary mostly. She wasn't very interested in sex after she had Zara and what they did do was repetitive.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) 

Nick’s favorite position is doggy. He likes the control of your body it gives. His hands are free to caress and massage you. He can take you with your back pressed tightly to his chest fistful of your hair to make you look at him and steal open mouth kisses as he thrust into you. Or he can push you down on your knees with your face in the mattress as he holds your wrist behind your back and pounds into you hard and fast. Moans and his name bouncing from the walls as he takes you deeper and deeper. He loves leaving Hickes and love bites on your neck and down the back of your shoulder.      

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)  

Nick is a very passionate man but that doesn’t always translate into seriousness. You guys have had sex that you have laughed halfway through. You have been mid sex and his beard rubbed just right to tickle you and send you squirming with laughter that was contagious.  

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) 

Nick’s hair is dark and thick, and it curls when it gets too long. He keeps it trimmed up for hygiene's sake typically. He doesn’t think much about it when it gets overgrown when life is too busy, or he just can’t be bothered. When he is in a relationship, he keeps up on it more as a respectful consideration for you. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)  

Nick is the definition of a Latino lover. He will spend his time with foreplay and the sex making sure you know how important you and your pleasure are to him. He calls you sweet nicknames and tells you how much you mean to him and how he has missed you and your body. If he pins your hands, he intertwines your fingers.  

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) 

 Nick doesn’t masturbate often. When he does it's usually not to pleasure himself so much as to get a release from some stress. It’s quick and efficient and then he washes up and continues with his day or gets ready for sleep. He will also get himself off if he is horny, but you are not available or in the mood.      

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) 

Nick’s love language is words of affirmation, and he has a major praise kink that he likes to mix with his dirty talk. He is also a bit of an exhibitionist. He likes to push the line of where you can have sex without getting caught. Just be careful while he’s drinking because it heightens all these kinks and can lead to some pretty close calls.  

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) 

Nick’s favorite place to have sex is the bedroom because it has the most options and comfort. He has become a big fan of the laundry room. While the space is limited, Zara doesn’t feel the need to interrupt when you go in there because she doesn’t think there is anything of value and would rather watch TV while you guys do the ‘laundry’ unlike when you guys try to sneak away to the bedroom or bathroom. There is a door so there is no risk of her getting in there unexpectedly. Nick has also found many uses for the dryer while it’s on that aren’t clothes-related.     

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) 

Nick is not hard to convince to have sex or turn on. But he is a very visual man, and if you want to make him go feral wearing lingerie or one of his shirts buttoned halfway up is a good way of giving him an instant boner.    

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)  

Nick grew up with an abusive dad and he watched him beat his mom. He will never hit, slap, or do anything that could hurt you. An open-palmed smack on the ass is about as far as he will take it and that’s only if you enjoy it. He will never degrade you because it is against his morals of respecting women.    

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)  

Nick likes to get as much as he likes to receive. He wants you to sit on his face, sit not hover. If you don’t know the difference, he will pull you down on top of him and lick and devour your cunt until your legs are shaking to the point where sitting is the only option. He will work you up so well you will be riding his face. He loves 69ing too. Your moan vibrating around his dick from the pleasure of him eating out your pretty pussy? The answer is always yes.  

Nick loves a good blowjob. You found that it can fix his bad attitude. He came home in a bad mood and was trying to start a fight about something petty and irrelevant. He was in the kitchen slamming stuff around as he was making his coffee, bitching about how messy it was. You knew it had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with a disaster case, and marched over to him and grabbed his belt. He froze at first not sure what was going on, but it wasn't complaints falling from his lips when you dropped to your knees and gave him a quick messy blowjob. When you were done and got back to your feet, you pecked his lips and told him you were late for work leaving him stunned. When you returned home the kitchen was clean, he had cooked homemade traditional Cuban food, and he apologized to you all night long with a lot more than just his mouth.        

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) 

Nick likes to make the foreplay slow and passionate, to make sure you are satisfied and ready to take him. When it comes to sex his preferred pace is fast and on the rougher side. Your body in his hands as he pounds into you your breast bouncing, head thrown back as you take him.  

He does have a gentler side that comes out quite often. One that takes you slow and steady. He will kiss every inch of your body whispering Spanish words of endearment and praise against your skin. These are the times he wants to look you in the eyes and make sure you know his love for you in this physical act. That you can hear it, feel it, taste it, and see it in his eyes.      

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)  

Nick loves a good quicky. Life is busy, especially with a job like his and kids. Sometimes you just have to take those fifteen minutes and make them worth every second. It doesn’t always need to be long to be good and satisfying. Besides Nick enjoys seeing you after a quick tousle out with your friends or random people knowing exactly what causes that flush in your cheeks. Knowing that his cum is still leaking out of you and into your wet panties unless of course he still has them in his pocket for safekeeping.  

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) 

Nick is willing to experiment with his limits. He is willing to try any position you want at least once. He likes to push the limits where you two can get away with having sex. He likes the bathrooms at bars, the laundry room when Zara is preoccupied, and getting head when he is driving in low to no-traffic areas. He likes the adrenaline of the possibility, but he doesn’t actually want to get caught. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)  

Nick has stamina for days. He can drag out foreplay and sex for hours if you will let him. If you're planning on a sleepless night and are okay walking a little funny the next day you only have to give him about a half hour to recuperate and he will be ready to go again if you are.    

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)  

No, Nick’s not a toy guy. He is kind of old-fashioned and I think he might take it as a hit to his masculinity if you wanted to use them when you were in bed together.  

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)  

Nick is an ungodly tease. His sweet and dirty talk is second to none. He can get you wet just by telling you about what he is going to do to you. The innocent but consistent touches drive you crazy. Then when he finally has you in the bedroom you can almost taste the pleasure, he is going to give you. He teases you more and tisks about how impatient you are. “All good things come to those who wait, Corazón.”

If you want his teasing to stop, you will have to beg him or start teasing him back. He can give way better than he can take. You will have him changing his pace quick.    

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)  

Nick isn’t loud but he is by no means silent. He likes to dirty talk, and praise you in bed with a mix of English and Spanish words. He grunts and moans but keeps the noise to a minimum when Zara is in the house. If he knows that there isn’t a risk of being interrupted or overheard that is when Nick gets louder and likes to fuck you to upbeat Cuban music.   

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)  

Nick doesn’t know how to ask for attention or affection. He grew up with a controlling abusive father and a traumatized turned aloof mother. Then he married Maria, a strong-willed but distant and emotionally unavailable soldier. He never got consistent affection and doesn't understand his own need for it. He doesn’t consciously know he does it, but when he needs that affection, he will initiate sex even if he is not in the mood to have it. He will make it so good for you like he has to earn it. You will moan and call his name as he wrecks you with his fingers and mouth.  

Then he will usually wave you off when you go to reciprocate even if he is hard. He knows that what he really wants is already within reach because when you are pleasure drunk and boneless it always means that you are willing and wanting to cuddle. Your fingers will stroke and play with his hair, your other hand wandering his back teasing tense muscles until they relax. It takes you a long time to figure out what he is doing and when you do it breaks your heart.   

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) 

Nick has a lean body with muscular arms and thighs. His chest is toned with a visible six-pack. He has a sparse dusting of hair on his lower stomach, a happy trail leading down to his goods. Nick is a big boy, above average in size. His cock is thick and long with a slight upwards curve.   

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)  

Nick has a pretty high sex drive but good control over it. While he would prefer to have sex four or five times a week, he doesn’t expect that. He has times when he becomes a sex hound, and you swear it always seems to match up to when you're ovulating. His sex drive can also completely diminish during bad sex crime cases.    

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 

Nick is one of those rare men that sex boosts his energy, at least for a little while. The flood of endorphins gives him a giddy relaxed high. If it is a quickie or during the middle of the day, he will have the sudden urge to accomplish something, or if you're really lucky cook traditional Cuban food. If it’s time for bed you will almost always fall asleep before him, but he is content to lay in bed with you either just cuddled up or playing games on his phone until the high fades.  

I forgot how long this prompt takes but hey there’s Nick’s! I have quite a few Nick miniseries that I’m going to be working on. One is the relationship building between the reader and Zara while still featuring Nick of course.  

I have another series that will be more angsty and will probably take longer because it’s going to be a split vibe of what could have happened in a situation with Nick and the reader's relationship when tragedy hits. I’m excited to challenge my writing in that way. 

Let me know if either of these piques your interest! I hope you enjoyed xoxo