#ngl i've always kinda struggled to fully grasp sam's character outside of the main “feels like a freak” thing

[reyolfx]

season 13 is starting off so interesting for differentiating what keeps the boys moving

like they lose their mom, they lose cas, crowley's gone, and they're stuck with the son of satan. okay, cool. dean just straight up wants to die. he can barely fuckin go on, he's playing fast and loose with his life, he's angry as hell, he's drinking, he's punching walls, he's PRAYING to GOD, he's desperate and depressed.

but sam? sam's okay: he has a plan. he has jack. one, he can use jack to get their mom back, he has to believe she's still alive. two, well, he sees himself in jack and he cares about him and helping him out is probably cathartic. sam has a plan, he has a purpose, he's upset obviously but he's got a handle on it all.

cas comes back. no crowley, no mary, just cas. and dean is liiiiike, healed. or as healed as a depressed alcoholic traumatized hunter can get in this situation i guess. he's done a complete 180, he's talking like himself again, he suddenly has grace and affection for the kid they've semi-adopted even though five seconds ago he hated his guts - he got cas back, therefore he's regained faith. he can do this.

they lose jack. now i'm definitely not trying to say sam doesn't care about jack as a person cause it's very clear he does and i actually find their dynamic so lovely and can't wait to see more of it! but their bond is still fairly new, so yes sam loses jack but he also loses his PLAN. and that's what does him in. he gets worse instead of better, unlike dean. because dean needs people and he got his person back, but sam needs purpose and he's lost his way. dean is back on track, sam's floating, helpless, because he can't find a way to help himself. and dean isn't really getting it.

dean can pretty much do anything as long as he has sam and cas. sam? he needs a little more than that. always has.