#neymessi never fails to give me feels

[white-light-on-my-prism]

I was supposed to post this here a long time back but your b*tch procrastinated for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON!! Turns out when the motivation ain't throwing Cronald × Leo off its 'biggest footie ship on AO3' high-horse, I fail to feel any amount of urgency.

Exile.

A neymessi songfic

Read it here on AO3.

Fandom: Men's Football RPF

Pairing(s): Lionel Messi/Neymar, Lionel Messi/Antonela Roccuzzo (implied)

Additional tags: Angst, Pining, One shot, Prose poetry

Warnings: None.

Author's note: Uh... I'm sorry. That's all.

"I can see you standing, honey

With her arms around your body

Laughing, but the joke's not funny at all..."

Neymar had never put much stock in the inner workings of the colour white. He could vaguely recall from sixth standard, learning something about white light falling on a prism and exploding in rainbow hues. Neither was he the one for academics, nor was his family the one for rainbows, so all he had known, all he had ever seen with those iridescent eyes of his, was life in black and white. The patterns on his childhood football, the one true love of his life, were drawn in the same twin colours. Then why was he, in that one wretched evening, finding the same opposing tints holding his throat so brutally to a knife?

The 30th of June, 2017.

He had anticipated with dread, the movie that awaiting him, since the day he had received his invite. Yet, in this theatre house of reality, he felt the walls closing in, the ground beneath his feet giving away as he watched the bride in white and groom in black floating cursively towards each other. Their union evoked a mix of emotions he never knew he was capable of feeling. He had never before craved the rainbow as much as he did then, the silhouette of his Leãozinho embracing another felt like Karma to him for ignoring physics lessons back in his salad days. He failed to be the prism. He tried to be the sun to his beloved's moon, but alas, the moon loved and longed for another star. To him, Leo was still the universe, the whole sky. His Leo. But, to say 'his', did he no longer have the right?

"And it took you five whole minutes

To pack us up and leave me with it

Holding all this love out here in the hall."

The woman who could rightfully assert claim on his love was more perfect than he thought mere mortals could be. Certainly much more perfect than him. A brighter celestial, from another world, just as his love has always been. "They deserve each other," he told himself, but the heart seldom caved to statements of the mind. What of his heart and mind anyway, his soul would always lie with the one that wouldn't be his, so devoid of spirit he'd have to die. Existing through the rest of his days, lacking lustre, lacking life. The black bespoke adorning the groom spoke of dark clouds that would fly, treacherously veiling the luminous ivory flowing out of his full moon night. He knew it won't be back in twenty-nine days, for marriage was a vow for life. He'd have to live in a forever's lunar eclipse, his darling would only kiss the bride.

So he ran. As far as his legs would take him. They said he was a prince without a crown, his Little Lion being the ruler of his land. They said he should leave, he always rebelled. His caregivers, dear, told him to take off to a grander palace with an empty throne. He had fought to stay, for in gazing at the king with awe he had found his home. No more. The monarch had forsaken his most devoted subject. Why? Perhaps, deep down, he knew, only a true lady could be queen. She had it all! A serene presence, to his chaos, the calm diligence to his impulsive thoughts. She was the ultimate prize. And the one on whom he wished every happiness had her to keep by his side. Why stay?

He flew, therefore, through time, through space, and gave in to what they all said. "I want to leave, father, I'm not happy here" — he made sure the whole world knew. His parting words: "Leo, know that I'm happy for you." He packed all his darkness in a mighty big bag. All the trouble he brings, all his disorderly things, that in his mind made his king choose her over him. He left, halfway across the earth, so far astray; leaving his hometown stranded on his heart breaker's happiest day.

"I'm not your problem anymore

So who am I offending now?

You were my crown

Now I'm in exile, seeing you out

I think I've seen this film before...

So I'm leaving out the side door."