#next up we're gonna discuss how kinnporsche actually perfectly depicted subdrop without even trying

[followdelight]

Vegas and BDSM (a short essay)

So, I love VegasPete and Ep 12.  But their conversation in Ep 13 has been sticking in my brain.  My main question was: 

Why does Vegas have all this bondage gear at home, which he must use/have used with partners, but tell Pete he always thought he was a ‘freak until now’?  

My theory is that Vegas hasn’t actually ever had a natural sub before.  

He’s probably had partners that agreed to get tied up bc he’s fuckin’ hot and intimidating and they figure yeah okay why not I guess, but they likely try it once and then were like “that’s too much” and bounced.  Or even likely he’s been with sex workers but there was never negotiation since he was paying, so he never got to fully satisfy a sub the way he wanted.  Their reactions were probably tepid & underwhelmed and Vegas was left frustrated and hurting and probably in top drop not sure what’s wrong with him and his desires.  

Bc there is NO way Tawan was kinky... I just cannot see it.  Vegas probably held him down like *once* or got a little rough with him, and Tawan reacted poorly–either like with disgust or just pouty like ‘why u hurt me i’m baby’ –and so Vegas had to approach his entire relationship with Tawan with his mask on (I mean was he also just using that boy from the get go anyway, yes, but he knew Tawan never really ‘loved him’ – he *couldn’t* – bc he didn’t actually *KNOW* Vegas at all).

So after Pete kisses Vegas and Vegas takes over the situation, maybe he carefully lifted Pete’s arms as he kissed down the back of his neck and urged him to grab onto the chains, and Pete *did it*.  And not just that, Pete wrapped his *own wrists* in said chains, as he held on for the rimming of his life.  And then Vegas presses Pete into the mattress and it’s PETE who *hands him* the rope.  PETE who initiates the bondage/kink, and you can SEE how much this means to Vegas by the way he kisses Pete’s hands so gently and tenderly after tying them, presses them carefully into the mattress over his head.  Pete lets him chain his feet up.  

But Vegas does not initiate any pain play, and I like to think this is because somewhere in his hindbrain Vegas may not know a lot about bdsm etiquette bc he’s always just done whatever he wanted, but he knows enough to know that the sub is in control, and Pete asked explicitly to be tied up but did not ask to be hurt.  And obviously Vegas likes to hurt people, and I can personally only picture a future for them where Pete eventually opens up to that side of bdsm and allows himself to be hurt – but *only* in the ways that please him – and Vegas diligently takes care of him then, and never goes too far or pushes his boundaries ever again, unless or until Pete gives the okay.  

Because it’s clear that just like Vegas needs to be loved, Pete desperately needs to be able to truly *give up control*.  And I don’t mean of his autonomy; he’s had enough people do that, Kinn/the main family, his father, even Vegas at first.  I mean that he is finally able to let go of all the responsibility he holds, the facade he maintains of happy/cheerfulness, never letting a problem get him down, always there to be of assistance and sacrifice himself if necessary.  He gets to be SEEN by Vegas.  The weak parts of himself, the hurt parts of himself.  And then Pete getting to be tied up and *taken care of for once*.