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zackcollins · 4 years ago

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every time our eyes meet || jack campbell

masterlist

Author’s Note: Hi, everyone! I’m back with another fic! I’ve been really inspired to write recently because it’s been helping me cope with the stress I’ve been feeling from everything surrounding quarantine and all that. I may yet post a few more fics but we’ll see how I feel over the next little while. GIF credit to mitchmarner!

Warnings: Nothing, I don’t think. Let me know if you see something though and I’ll add a warning for it!

Word Count: 4.2k+

Title: Amazed by Lonestar

Additional: Masculine reader this time! The reader is also mentioned to be the starting goaltender for the Leafs, so do with that what you will. I know masculine reader fics aren’t generally as popular in the hockey fandom but I wanted to write this for the few of you masculine peeps that are out there (myself sorta included) as a way to show that there are fics for you to enjoy as well. Your love and support would mean the world to me because I like knowing that I’m doing a good job. That being said, I hope you guys enjoy this!

When you walked into the arena for practice that morning, there was a vase with roses and a stuffed Carlton at your locker. You felt your entire face turn scarlet to match the roses. There was a card attached to the vase. It simply read: “Red roses to match the red hair -J.” You blushed harder and felt the tips of your ears heat up. You always got complimented on your red hair but this was another level.

“Roses? You got a hot date you want to impress?” You flinched in surprise because you hadn’t heard anyone else enter.

“Someone sent them to me,” you said in the same breath it took to turn to face whoever was behind you. You blinked when you noticed that it was Michael Hutchinson, the “new” goalie the team had acquired. “They sent a stuffed Carlton too.” You reached down and picked up the aforementioned bear to show Michael.

Michael smiled as he walked across the room. “Do a lot of girls send you roses and teddy bears? You don’t seem that phased.”

“That happens when you play for the Maple Leafs,” you chuckled. “Personally, I li--”

“(Y/N) got roses and I didn’t?!” You and Michael turned to see Mitch, Auston, Willy, and Zach walk in. Mitch had an indignant look on his face.

“Star goaltenders get the best things, Mitchy,” you responded. Michael chuckled at the feigned look of hurt Mitch shot back at you. “Maybe if you become a goalie and the backbone of this franchise, people will send you roses.”

Willy laughed hard enough that he nearly dropped his Starbucks. Zach grabbed it from him to prevent that. Auston sighed, shook his head, and waved a dismissive hand at what had unfolded in front of him before he went to his locker to get changed for practice. Mitch pouted as he walked past you. He stared you down with fake sad eyes the entire time. You sighed and grabbed a rose from the vase. You walked over to Mitch and gracefully handed it to him. Mitch lit up significantly.

“Thank you, King (Y/L/N), of The Toronto Maple Leafs,” Mitch giggled.

You ruffled Mitch’s hair before you walked back over to your locker. Michael looked at you thoughtfully before he went to his locker to change into his goalie equipment. Soon after, the rest of the guys filtered in and started to dress for practice. Keefe came in shortly thereafter and gave a brief speech about readiness and accountability before everyone was ushered onto the ice to begin the practice drills.

You had sustained an injury the previous week and were still to be dressed in a light contact jersey. The medical staff had been cleared to wear it when you first arrived at the arena that morning. The next thing you did was find the roses and the stuffed Carlton. Today had been a good day for (Y/N) (Y/L/N).

You and Jack were in the goalie corner while Michael took shots from the skaters. Jack leaned over and nudged you. You turned your attention away from the drills and looked at Jack.

“Am I still the only one that knows?” Jack asked, voice quiet.

“You’re gonna need to elaborate on that, Soupy,” you replied, voice full of confusion.

“That it’s easier than people think to score on your five-hole.”

You choked on his saliva. “Jack. Holy fuck.”

“Curse me all you want. Nobody heard me.” Jack vaguely gestured with his blocker in front of the two of you to prove that nobody had turned to look in your direction.

He waited for a beat. “Well?”

You sighed and put your head in your glove. “Yes,” you mumbled; you only wanted Jack to hear you.

When you looked back, Jack had gone to the net to face his shots. Michael stood there instead, looking rather confused.

“Fucking hell,” you mumbled, dropping your head into your glove again.

Micheal looked at you lopsidedly, bringing his glove up and placing it on your shoulder.

“What did Soupy say to you that had you so damn flustered?” Micheal asked, keeping his voice hushed.

You bit your lip, squeezing your eyes shut in the process. “‘It’s easier than people think to score on your five-hole.’”

Michael blinked and looked at you owlishly as he dropped his glove from your shoulder. “You’re a goalie. You should talk to the goalie coach when you get the chance. He can help you fix that.”

Dumbfounded, you didn’t push the subject further. You didn’t understand how Michael didn’t realize what you actually meant. He was a grown man. He had certainly heard that joke before. On the same token, you were grateful that Michael didn’t understand. You didn’t want Michael to potentially have a negative reaction in front of the entire team if he didn’t like what the joke meant.

The conversation quickly shifted. You talked with Michael about what he wanted to do while the team was on this three-game homestand against Vancouver. Though, you both knew there wasn’t exactly much you could do. Given the whole provincial lockdown and the NHL’s own set of rules and restrictions on the matter.

“Why don’t you come to my house tonight for dinner,” you smiled. “It’ll be an official welcome to the city and team kind of thing.”

Micheal blinked before a faint smile pulled across his lips. “Yeah. I’d like that. As long as it won’t get us in trouble.”

You smiled before you went to take your turn at the goaltender drills. The shots you faced were less intense and further between one and the next. The guys wanted to be cautious; your injury had been a neck injury and neck injuries weren’t to be messed with. You made some saves and didn’t make others. You didn’t want to overwork yourself and put any unneeded stress on your neck muscles. You needed to be ready to play this week against Vancouver.

By the time practice was over, you felt great. You went straight to the medical staff for examination as you had done after all of the practices since your injury. The examination was brief and to the point. The team doctor said your neck had progressed well and that you were ready to go for the next game. However, the doctor wanted to play it safe and wait until at least the game after that before he would allow you to start. You wanted to be angry, but you knew the doctor had made the right decision. You had hurt your neck and it had to be healed completely before you attempted to play again; it was better to be safe than sorry.

You walked out of the trainer’s room and back to the locker room. Most of the guys were in the showers and the room felt empty. You trudged to your locker with your head down. You felt dejected after the news the team doctor had given you. You stopped three feet from your locker when you saw a box of chocolate and a bag of cinnamon hearts where your glove, your blocker, and your helmets should go. You lightened up a little at that.

You turned around and noticed that Spezza, Muzzin, and Simmonds were all still at their lockers.

“Did any of you see who put the chocolate and candy in my locker?”

Simmonds looked up from his left skate. He shook his head.

“No, sorry, man.” He looked back down at his skate and continued to fiddle with the lace.

“I was the last one in here before you,” Spezza said, “and it was already in there when I walked past.”

You looked at Muzzin pointedly. The look you received told you that the defenceman knew something. Muzzin shook his head and turned his thumb and forefinger at the corner of his mouth.

With a sigh, you turned around and stepped the remaining three feet towards your locker. You carefully examined the chocolate and candy. You blinked when you realized it was your favourite European chocolate. Even cinnamon hearts were your guilty pleasure this time of year. Whoever had sent this had paid attention when you talked about yourself. The team nutritionist and the conditioning coach would both hate you when you ate these but what were you if you weren't human?

You quickly showered and changed. You wanted to get home to eat the sweets while you planned what to make for dinner when Michael came over that night. You walked to your car while you tossed around ideas for meals in your head.

Chicken, pasta, and peas? Fish, rice, and broccoli? Steak, potatoes, and carrots? You knew you would have bread rolls regardless because you had baked some while you had been injured to keep yourself busy. (You had taken up baking as a hobby to keep sane during quarantine and you had enjoyed it so you had decided to stick with it).

When you unlocked your car, you decided on the chicken for dinner. You had a nice sauce recipe that you had learned from your mother that you could use. When you opened the door of your car, you froze. On the other side of the car, there was a bottle of wine. You sat on the driver’s seat, closed the door, and reached for the bottle. When it was in your hands, you nearly dropped it when you saw what kind of wine it was.

“I can’t even pronounce that, but I know it’s expensive,” you mumbled.

You took out your phone and snapped a picture of the bottle. You contemplated whether to send the picture to Michael. Should you give him a heads up that there would be wine at dinner? After a moment, you decided it would be a wise decision.

(Y/L/N) 13:09

To: Hutchinson

(image attached)

Someone left me another present. This time in my car. Guess we're having wine with dinner tonight.

It took a few minutes, but your phone pinged with a reply from Michael.

(Y/L/N) 13:13

From: Hutchinson

Holy fucking shit. That’s a really expensive wine. Someone likes you, dude.

(Y/L/N) 13:14

To: Hutchinson

When I got to my locker, someone had left me a box of my favourite chocolate and a bag of cinnamon hearts.

(Y/L/N) 13:16

From: Hutchinson

This girl must work for the team if she has such easy access to everything.

You bit your lip. You didn’t think it was a girl. There weren’t many girls that worked for the team and none of the staff would’ve grabbed your keys from your bag so they could slip the wine into your car. You thought--knew--it was one of the other players. You took a deep breath before you changed your mind and started to type exactly that to Michael.

(Y/L/N) 13:19

To: Hutchinson

There aren’t that many girls that work for the team. I also know the staff wouldn’t go through my bag for my keys to open my car. I think it’s one of the players that’s leaving me all of this stuff.

The three dots appeared and disappeared several times. It made you nervous. You hadn’t come out but you had told Michael that you suspected one of your very male teammates had left you all of the presents. You hoped that hadn’t overstepped some boundary that Michael had.

Finally, your phone pinged with a message from Michael after what felt like an eternity.

(Y/L/N) 13:27

From: Hutchinson

Are you bothered by that?

(Y/L/N) 13:28

To: Hutchinson

“It’s easier than people think to score on my five-hole.”

You decided to reiterate that to see if Michael got it this time with a different context.

(Y/L/N) 13:30

From: Hutchinson

Oh. You’re gay? I’m sorry for completely fucking that up before... :(

Does anyone else know?

(Y/L/N) 13:32

To: Hutchinson

Just Soupy. He found me making out with a guy in a bar bathroom in Ottawa on Valentine's Day last year.

If that guy was Soupy… well. That’s for you and Soupy to know and everyone else to know when you two decided that the time was right.

The dots appeared and disappeared a few times before another message from Michael came through. You almost dropped your phone when you read it.

(Y/L/N) 13:36

From: Hutchinson

Soupy told me he was pansexual already. Said I should know because of goalie solidarity or some shit like that. In which case: I feel I should tell you I’m bisexual. ⚥ ♡

(Y/L/N) 13:38

To: Hutchinson

Thank you for telling me. It’s good to know that the starting goaltender has both of his backups in his crease.

(Y/L/N) 13:39

From: Hutchinson

Maybe Soupy was onto something when he said we should have goalie solidarity.

If you ask me, the three of us being attracted to men sounds pretty solidarity worthy.

(Y/L/N) 13:40

To: Hutchinson

You make a valid point there, Hutch. An extremely valid point.

Though, I feel like I should tell you Soupy didn’t find out I was gay because he walked in on me making out with some guy in an Ottawa bar bathroom.

(Y/L/N) 13:42

From: Hutchinson

How did he find out then?

(Y/L/N) 13:43

To: Hutchinson

He was actually who I was making out with. We got a little drunk (him more so than me) and he backed me against the bathroom door. We talked about it the next morning and officially came out to each other.

Oh. Oh. That’s when it dawned on you. The card with the roses. Muzzin’s silence. How the wine got in your car. You knew exactly who had left you all of these presents. You had to go talk to him right now.

(Y/L/N) 13:45

To: Hutchinson

I figured out who left all the presents for me. I have to go talk to him. Be over for dinner by 19:00.

(Y/L/N) 13:45

From: Hutchinson

That’s awesome! Go get your man! ;D

You put the wine safely in the centre console of your car and buckled your seatbelt. You pulled out of the player’s garage and into downtown Toronto traffic. You cursed under your breath as you dealt with the gridlock to your destination.

You decided that you would stop at a confectionery to purchase some white chocolate fudge and black licorice before heading to visit the man that had left you all of the presents. Those two sweets were his favourite sweets. If he could give you presents, you felt it was only fair to give him presents.

When you were finished picking out the sweets, you made your way to the checkout counter. There were some Valentine’s cards sitting on a display beside the register; you picked the cheesiest one you saw. You quickly filled it out with a personal message before wiping the pen down with the provided sanitary wipes.

“She must be special if you got her fudge and licorice,” the clerk chuckled.

“She is,” you smiled, though you weren’t sure if the clerk could decipher that behind your mask, “trust me. I’m headed to the flower shop next door to get a bouquet of tulips and lilies for her too. Those are her favourite.”

The clerk gave you a fond look with his eyes when he handed you the paper bag with the purchases. You smiled again, again not sure if the clerk could decipher if you were or not (though you weren’t all that pressed to know if he could or couldn’t tell), as you walked out of the confectionery and to the flower shop next door. The store was, unsurprisingly, rather empty even though Valentine’s Day was right around the corner. You supposed that’s what a provincial lockdown did for business, even in what was supposed to be a busy season for flower shops.

A florist noticed you by the tulips and walked over to you. “Can I help you with something, sir?”

You pointed at the tulips and then gestured towards the lilies behind you.

“Would it be possible to make a bouquet of tulips and lilies? I have someone I have to impress and they like those two the most.”

The florist smiled, her mask crinkling at the corners. She walked over to the table at the back of the store and grabbed the pruners and some bouquet paper.

“How many of each did you want?”

“Three tulips and six lilies," you smiled, pleased with yourself for the subtle symbolism you made there. "Oh! One red rose too. They gave me roses today and I want to show that I appreciated them.” You felt the tips of your ears burn. It had been a long time since you had bought someone flowers and you hoped that this would go over well.

The florist smiled again, her mask falling down her face a little as she collected the flowers. She readjusted her mask before she directed you to the counter to pay.

“Sir?” You had been halfway to the door but you turned back to look a the florist. She had a soft expression in her eyes and her fingers were drumming against the countertop in front of her. “He’ll love them.”

“How did you--” You cut yourself off, not even sure you wanted to know the answer.

“I’ve done this for a long time,” the florist chuckled. “You can tell who people want to buy for if you pay attention. Even if they don’t directly tell you.” She smiled faintly. “Go make it official with your man.”

You felt your face heat up as you hurried out of the store to your car. You carefully placed the bouquet and the bag with the sweets on the passenger’s seat before you buckled your seatbelt, tossing your mask in the glove box. You collected yourself as you drove the short distance to the building you needed.

You exhaled heavily as you collected the bag and bouquet before you got out of the car. The doorman didn’t bat an eyelash when he saw you walk past with flowers. The doorman never interfered with you when you came here.

In the elevator, you felt a knot form in your stomach. You had rarely been nervous in your life; you weren't sure why this made you nervous. (Y/N) (Y/L/N) was as confident in love as you were in the net. You never feared love and commitment. A committed boyfriend that understood the demands of hockey was the one thing you wanted besides hockey itself. The guy that sent you all the presents was a hockey player. He would understand the demands of a hockey career completely.

The elevator opened on the floor you needed. You swallowed thickly and began the walk to the right door. It was towards the end of the hall which gave you plenty of time to back out of this. Before you even thought to change your mind, you were at the right door. You gathered yourself before you knocked sharply. You heard feet shuffle across the hardwood floor in the foyer before the door opened.

“Jesus. I almost thought you’d never figure it out,” Jack chuckled as he stepped aside to let you in.

You toed off your shoes and put them on the mat by the door. You handed the bag and the bouquet to Jack who smiled fondly.

“These for me?” Jack asked, sniffing the flowers.

You nodded as you stripped off your coat and hung it on the coat rack.

Jack smiled and directed you to follow him to the living room. You followed him, wringing your hands together nervously as you went.

“Lilies and tulips… (Y/N)... I got you red roses because your hair is red. You got me my favourite flowers." Jack's voice sounded strained. “And a single red rose? You're a true romantic under all of that gruff goaltending exterior, I see.”

You felt your entire body increase in temperature at that compliment. You even blushed like a schoolgirl with a crush. (Which wasn’t far from the truth, but that was neither here nor there.) Jack seemed to notice the uneven tone of your skin because he chuckled and playfully punched your shoulder.

“You should blush more. It looks good on you.”

You gasped and covered it up with a cough. If Jack noticed, he didn’t say anything.

Jack handed the bouquet back to you when you arrived in the living room. He quickly disappeared into the kitchen and just as quickly returned with a vase full of water. He placed the vase on the coffee table, took the flowers from you, discarded the bouquet paper in the bin beside the couch, and placed the flowers in the vase.

Jack sat on the couch beside you and reached for the bag next. He grabbed the card out first. He looked at the outside of the card and chuckled dismissively.

“’I love you, Barrie much!’ Really?”

“Tyson was a really good friend of yours. I wanted to keep him with us somehow since I know you miss him." You ducked your head and mumbled the last part.

When you looked back at Jack he was frozen. After a moment, Jack blinked and opened the card. He scanned the message and then looked at you. He placed the card on the coffee table beside the vase.

“That’s thoughtful, thank you.”

There was a moment of awkward silence before Jack reached into the bag and pulled out the licorice and the fudge at the same time. You could see the tears before Jack even looked at you.

“(Y/N)... you...” Jack finally looked at you. That confirmed that he had tear streaks down his cheeks. “You went to my favourite confectionery.”

You blinked once. Twice. Three times. “I did? I went there because it was the one closest to your apartment.”

Jack nodded furiously. He placed the fudge and licorice on the coffee table. “I used to go there all the time as a kid when my parents would bring me to see the Tigers play away games at Rogers Centre. That’s why I’m glad I’m back here. I can go there whenever I want to.” Jack still had a few stray tears but they had stopped for the most part. “This specific brand of white chocolate fudge is my favourite too. Thank you so much, (Y/N).”

A smile crept across your face.

“You should thank Michael. He’s the whole reason I’m here.”

“Hutchison?” Jack tilted his head. “What did he do that brought you here?”

“I came out to him, for starters.”

Jack grinned and reached his hand out to squeeze your shoulder. The way that touch made your body feel was electric. You shivered. Jack smiled and squeezed you again before he took his hand away. You shivered again.

“He asked if anyone else knew,” you continued. “You know the answer to that.”

Jack nodded. “Just me,” he paused. “Kinda hard not to know when we played tonsil hockey with each other.”

“I told him that too.” You ducked his head.

A hand came out and tilted your head up. Jack didn’t look mad at all.

“It’s okay, (Y/N). When I came out to him, I explained that I wanted to leave these presents for you. He’s the only one I could trust not to say anything since he was so new to the team. It worked even better that he’s a goalie and part of the community himself.”

“Why did Muzzin know then?”

“The cinnamon hearts fell out of my bag when I walked into the arena this morning. He was the only other one there and picked them up for me. He agreed to help me if I told him which of you guys it was.”

You smiled. “When I told Michael that it was you I made out with, it made me realize: J meant Jack, Muzzin didn’t say anything because you’re my best friend and he's your best friend, and the wine got in my car so easily because you have the spare key.”

A smile crept across Jack's face and he chuckled. Jack still had your chin in his hand. You thought you had the perfect solution for that. You leaned forward until you were a couple of inches away from Jack. Jack's breath was warm on your face and it sent chills through your body.

“Would you like to do this properly now?” You swallowed nervously.

The only response you got from Jack was his lips on your own. Your lips moved fluidly together and your hands started to roam across each other’s bodies.

When you broke apart for air, you both panted heavily. You marvelled at how swollen, shiny, and red Jack's lips looked.

That’s from me. You thought. All from me.

“I have to go have dinner with Michael tonight,” you paused,” but would you like to order dinner on Wednesday? As a date?”

“Of course,” Jack smiled. “Anything for my star goaltender boyfriend.”

Boyfriend.

You could get used to hearing that.

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suchalonelysunflower · 4 years ago

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“Wish I’ve known”

(Ashton Irwin X Fem! Reader || Angst/Fluff)

Summary: Part 3 of my “Know You” Series. After being inseparable while being separated, is there a chance there could be more between Ashton and you?

Warnings: Angsty Fluff (you’ll get why) Strong language. Mentions of: COVID - 19, quarentine, alcohol, insecurities, jealousy and anxiety. Also bad English (not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word Count: 4.3 k

A/N: Part 3 is here! Hope you like it! Feedback is always welcomed. And if you’re new here, welcome to my new account! 💙🦋 from now on all of my writings will be here and if you want you can check out my materialist. I will really appreciate it.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

“Maybe I should get a dog” Y/N thought as she watered her plants. The fact that none of them had died in the last few months was truly a miracle. Obviously, the fact that she had to stay home quarantined and had no other better thing to do also helped.

She was relieved when her boss allowed them to work from home, granting her some security and control over that aspect of her life. But, truth is, it hasn’t been easy.

When quarantine was announced, she was a mess. Not because she didn’t understand the importance and the magnitude of this horrible pandemic, she did and she knew this was the best decision to keep everyone safe and she respected that. It was the feeling of helplessness and loneliness that got through her, and she felt selfish about it. How could she dare to feel like that when worst things were happening to so many people?

She couldn’t shake that feeling, so she did what she knows best: She hid it under a rug. She remembered what KayKay had said about Ashton once: “He avoids his feelings, but he will never lie”. It was a thing you and Ashton had in common.

Ashton…

Your thoughts drifted to the black haired man again. You just started your new relationship as friends just a few weeks before you were forced inside by a major force. Thing got better between both of you after the first “get to know you” hang out you had in your apartment. You started to see each other in a more friendly way rather than strangers in the same room, you would sit next to him sometimes and share some laughs with the others. At first it was very awkward for everyone, but they were grateful you two could finally set things right.

Everything was going smoothly. The band was about to release their new album, they were going on tour soon with your other favorite band and they even asked you to join them for some leg of the tour! But then everything changed.

You were a little surprised when your phone started ringing minutes after the quarantine became official. You were even more surprised to see the name that popped out.

“Hey” Ashton said once you picked up the FaceTime call “I’m assuming that you have that upset face because of the news and not because I called…”

You smiled a little but at that comment.

“I was expecting it, actually... The news, I mean” you quickly added when you saw his eyebrows lift “Your call was a surprise”

“I just wanted to know if you were okay”

“Me? How are you?! This could affect the whole album launch and the tour! I should be the least of your concerns at this moment”

“Don’t say that”

“You surely have some better things to worry about” You continued without listening to what he just said “Do you have enough food at home? I know people have been going crazy about toilet paper, do you have enough? I’ve stocked myself a few days ago, I can send you some…”

You stopped when you saw how his eyebrows knit together. You couldn’t tell if it was because of something you said that annoyed him.

“Did I say something bad?” You asked, sheepishly.

Ashton just smiled and shook his head.

“No, I’m just amazed on how quickly you went into “mom friend mode” Even though I asked how you were doing, you still tried to make this about anything but you. You truly are something else” He smiled at the phone and you felt the heat rising up to your cheeks “Now, tell me. How are you, really?”

That was just the first of many FaceTime calls you had, that without mentioning the texts, snaps and normal phone calls you had with Ashton everyday. You would send each other pictures and memes, you would talk for hours about everything and nothing at the same time and even shared some gardening tips.

You celebrated with him when the album dropped, congratulating him and the boys, watching their live-streams and laughing along with them and Luke’s boomer energy. He was the first person you called when their album reached n1 in the UK and you were the first person he called when the Billboard mess happened.

It was a comfort knowing you were always there for each other. Weather it was a late night call because you couldn’t sleep, or if he needed an opinion on some song lyrics, or just to be in each other’s company. It was amazing how close you guys became being so far away.

You smiled to yourself with that thought. You didn’t realize you were basically drowning your plant until your phone rang next to you, pushing your thoughts away for a moment.

“Shit, maybe I’m not ready for a dog”

******************************************************

Ashton was in the middle of a zoom call when he received your text. He sent you a picture of his snack bar next to his computer with the text: “This is what happens when you fish finger shame a guy”

Yours was a text that said: “glad you’re making healthier decisions in your life. I, on the other hand, just drowned Peter the Eucalyptus :(“ and attached was a picture of the poor plant with its pot flooded.

He couldn’t help but smile fondly at the text.

Ashton never thought he could be this content stuck in his house. Yeah, everything that was going on was fucking horrible and yeah, it sucked not going on tour this year or not doing a proper promotion of the album. But he had you.

He had you and that was more than he could ever ask for. He couldn't understand why he spend so much time avoiding you instead of knowing you. Every time he thought about it, he wished to go back in time and make things right, for you to be with him from the start instead of… well.

But right now, it didn’t matter how badly your story started. He knows you know how much he regrets his past actions towards you and how much he wishes to fix it. He knows he might never fix it completely, but, right now. he was just so happy with the fact that you were now part of his life.

He was amazed on how your relationship has progressed. How similar you were in so many ways and how easy it is for you to understand each other even without saying anything. It is sure to say that you were on his mind all the time, consuming all his thoughts because: How are you even real?. He couldn’t wait to talk to you because he was sure that talking to you was his favorite part of the day.

Now that you’re in his life, he never wants to be without you ever again.

“Whatta you smiling there, Ashy” Calum said.

For a moment Ashton forgot about the zoom call and now his three best friends were looking at him, smirking playfully.

“What?” He said trying to sound unbothered, but failing as he felt his cheeks warming up “Nothing, just got a text…”

“Ooh, must be someone really special if it makes you blush like that” teased Luke, raising his eyebrows.

Ashton smiled a little bit. It was, in fact, someone special, it was you.

“It’s just Y/N” he said, trying to sound disinterested “She just texted me something about her Eucalyptus”

“Peter or Gerald?”

The surprise in Ashton’s face was noticeable when Calum mention the names of Y/N’s plants. For some reason, it bothered him.

“Peter”

He knew that the tone he used was kind of aggressive. But he hoped the guys didn’t notice it.

“You’ve been talking a lot lately, huh?” Michael added.

“Yeah… everytime I try to FaceTime you’re already on a call with her or texting her…”

“Or I’m just ignoring you, Luke” Ashton said, defensively “Yeah, we’ve talked. You know, just trying to get to know her”

“And because you have a crush on her…”

“I don’t… Luke I swear to god…”

“Aww look how he gets all rilled up! Ashton has a crush on Y/N”

“Michael, stop it. And Calum, if you say something I swear I’m gonna beat you up” Ashton threatened.

Calum just raised his hands, not saying anything but suggesting it with his face. Ashton just sighed.

“I don’t have a crush on Y/N, okay? I just… I just think she’s great, you know? I’m just starting to get her to like me as a friend. And she’s just.. great”

“You've said that already”

Ashton glared at Michael.

“I get it, mate” Calum intervened “Y/N is amazing. Truly one of a kind”

Soon you became the topic of the conversation. Everyone was talking about you and telling anecdotes. It shouldn’t have made Ashton mad, but it did. Though, mad wasn’t the word. He was jealous.

He tried to convince himself that he shouldn’t be. He was the one who screwed up and missed all that time with you. But he couldn’t help the way his blood boiled up everytime he thought about how close you were to the others, specially Calum. He still remembers how he was holding you when you first came into his house for a movie night. It took all of his strength not to ask Calum if you guys were dating.

“She’s coming to the party, right?” Luke asked, pulling Ashton away from his thoughts.

“Yeah” he answered “She said she’ll be there”

“And then maybe you could tell her about your little crush?”

Ashton rolled his eyes.

“For the last time, I do not….”

****************************************************

“Do not have a crush on Ashton!”

Y/N was in the middle of her own zoom call with Sierra and Crystal. And, just like their boyfriends/fiancés, they were teasing her about her newly formed friendship with the drummer.

“Yeah, whatever you say”

“Liar liar pants on fire…”

You rolled your eyes at them. You loved them dearly, but right now you want to strangle them.

“This was supposed to be a zoom call to check our outfits for the party. Not a “Let’s all attack Y/N” zoom call”

When the news announced a week ago that quarantine was officially over, Ashton didn’t hesitate for a second to throw a party to celebrate their new found freedom. And you didn’t hesitate for a second in saying yes when he invited you.

“Sorry, baby” Sierra said “But that grin on your face told us otherwise”

Ashton had just responded to your text and you were careless enough to smile at it while the girls were in the middle of a conversation you didn’t pay attention to.

“Guys…” you plead covering your face with your hands “Can we please change the topic? Ashton and I are just friends, hell a few month ago he hated me! It’s impossible for him to like me like that if he didn’t even like me at all to begin with! Plus..” you dropped your hands and looked down “He’s Kaykay’s ex, I wouldn’t do that to her! No matter if I…”

“If you like him?” Crystal finished your sentence.

Your silence and your flushed cheeks said it all.

“Oh, honey” Sierra tried to comfort you

“I don’t like Ashton” You said firmly.

But to be honest, you weren’t sure you meant that. Yes, you’ve always had a fascination with him when you were nothing more than a fan. Yes, he hated you for the most part you’ve known each other. Yes, he apologized and became one of the closest people you had in your life now, he brings you a sense of security you haven’t felt in years and you know you can trust him with anything. And yes, he’s hot as fuck, but he’s also very kind and funny and incredibly smart and willing to make you laugh and…

But you didn’t like him. You couldn’t. He’s your friend’s ex. He’s best friends with your best friends. He’s someone that came recently into your life but if he’s ever gone you wouldn’t know what to do. You can’t like him because you will ruin it, just like everything else. And you wouldn’t let that happen.

You gazed your screen again, Sierra and Crystal had understanding looks, but at the same time they changed their backgrounds to Hercules’ Muses. You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“Did you have to put that background?”

“Couldn’t help it, sorry”

“But we won’t talk about it anymore if you don’t want to. However, if you do wanna talk, we’re here for you, darling. Always”

“Yeah, I guess it might be hard to talk about. But will it really be the worst thing ever?” Asked Crystal.

“What?” You asked in surrender.

“Let down your walls and let it happen?”

You froze.

“You are worthy of love, Y/N” Sierra added “You deserve to be happy and, believe me girl, that smile you made when he’s name popped up. I haven’t seen it until now”

Your eyes went involuntarily to the small screen next to you. His name was next to a smiley face with a text that said: ”I’m really glad I’ll get to see you again”

And you could admit that the feeling was mutual.

****************************************************

The day of the party finally came! You were excited to see all your friends again, no need for zoom calls or texts or multiplayer games. Quarantine was over and you couldn’t wait any longer.

You got yourself ready for the party, the words of your friends still lingered in your thoughts as you took one last look at your appearance “It’s gonna be fine” you thought “You can control your feelings, he’s your friend and nothing more. Don’t mess it up” And with that, you walked through the door and drove to Ashton’s house.

On the other hand, Ashton couldn’t stop staring at the door. Even though he wouldn’t admit it at loud, he was hoping to see you. He wanted to be the first person you saw, the first person to say ’hello’ and give you a hug. But mostly, he wanted to see your smile again, most importantly, he wanted to see you smile at him.

“What is he doing?” Luke asked Sierra who was just as intrigued by Ashton’s ‘guard dog’ behavior.

“I don’t know… I guess he’s trying to be a good host?”

The girl have answered, half asked “but he seems… oh”

His demeanor became apparent once you came through those doors. Making Luke and Sierra giggle to themselves.

You opened the door confidently, or at least trying to be confident. But that went to shit when the first person you saw was the same person who couldn’t leave your thoughts for one moment.

“Hey, you!” Ashton said, visibly relaxing when he spotted you.

His smile was dashing, making all of his dimples pop out. He went straight for a hug and you could feel yourself melting into it, but also holding on as tight as you could. After all, he was the first person you saw in flesh and bone after months of being home alone.

Ashton rounded his arms around your waist and didn’t want to let go. You were there, really there! He wondered how could he ever lived without your hugs before? He could feel that the hug was lasting more than it should, but he didn’t care. You all spend months without seeing each other, it didn’t mean anything. At least, he knew that for you it didn’t. And he hoped he believed that for him either.

But you had to separate at some point.

“I can’t believe that’s you!” You said, extremely happy to be able to see people again “In flesh and bone and not on a screen”

“I’m as real as you want me to be” he laughed as he took you in “You look… amazing”

He hoped you didn’t notice his short breath. You hoped he didn’t notice how you blushed.

“Well, I think everyone looks amazing after months in solitary confinement”

“Nah… you always look amazing” It was at this moment where you averted your eyes to the floor that Ashton realized he said that at loud “Ehm… Look, there’s Sierra, let’s go say hi” he quickly added, guiding you towards your other friends.

Both Sierra and Luke had amused faces, but neither you or Ashton knew why. Sierra launched herself at you, almost making you fall on your ass.

“I’m never social distancing again!” She said, finally letting you go “I missed you so damn much”

“Missed you, too. Luke! It’s so nice to see you!” You hugged him as best as you could. 6’2 my ass, he was closer to 6’5 with those boots.

“God, Y/N. It was about damn time” and when he finally let go he added “But I’m sure you were… entertained during this quarantine”

Next thing you know, Ashton rounder his arm around Luke’s shoulder and said something like “Oh, look. There’s Andy. Let’s go and say hi, Luke” and he left with his very confused bandmate.

“What just happened?” You asked.

“No idea” said Sierra, casually “But let’s go find Crystal and Mike! They’ve been asking for you”

And just like that, you were pulled into multiple hugs once you found them. Not much later after that, Luke joined you again with Calum and Ashton.

Calum barely spotted you and went to give you a big, crushing hug and kissed you on the cheek. You had missed him so much and were just too happy to see him and everybody again that you didn’t notice the way Ashton suddenly tensed up at the sight of you two.

He knows he has no right to be jealous. They were your friends way longer than he was. They were the ones who knew about your struggles and your interests way before he did. They were the ones who were deserving of your love and care, way more than he will ever be.

But something clicked when he saw the way you were hugging his best friend and in the way he kissed your cheek.

He wanted it to be him. He wanted to be the one who kissed your cheek so tenderly. He wanted to be the one who would wrap his arms you and never leave your side. He wanted to look into your eyes and see himself in the reflection, be the one who comforts you the same way you comfort him. He wanted to play with your hair and caress your cheeks, and for you to do the same. He wanted you to love him just as much as you seem to love them, maybe even a little bit more.

But, he knows that will never be. He knows he hurt you so much that it was impossible for you to even see him that way. He doesn’t deserve that, no matter how many times he thinks he might. He doesn’t. Hell, the fact that you’re even considering him as a friend was a miracle itself.

You deserve better, he’s convinced of that. You deserve someone who loves you from the start, someone who won’t hurt you the way that he did. Someone that had more stable relationships, less commitment issues, less fear of opening himself to anyone. Someone who doesn’t avoid his feelings just because he doesn’t know what to do with them. You deserve better, and he wasn’t it.

When you pulled away from Calum’s embrace, you couldn’t help but notice how Ashton’s eyes had lost their spark. He quickly covered it once he caught you staring, and planted a fake smile on his lips. After some small talk, he excused himself “host stuff” he said, and just like that he left the group.

Throughout the night, Ashton came and went. Never once did he meet your gaze while you were with the others. But you caught him staring from afar a few times, quickly averting his gaze the moment they met yours.

Nobody else seemed to notice, but it was eating you alive. All your insecurities came flooding in. ”Did you do something wrong? Maybe he just likes you through a screen. Was it something you said? Why does he hate you again? What did you do to make him hate you again?”

The thoughts were too much. You needed air.

You excused yourself from the group and made your way upstairs where you know there’s a big window leading up to a balcony. Right now you needed the comfort of the stars.

However, once you stepped on the balcony you realized a minute too late that you weren’t alone.

Ashton was leaning on the rails, he had a beer in one hand and his shirt want tucked inside his pants anymore. He wasn’t looking at you, instead he was gazing at the dark horizon that was in front of him.

He was mesmerizing. Truly a sight for sore eyes. You felt your heart thund loudly in your chest, but forced yourself to push that feeling away. He was your friend, or at least it seemed like it. He was your friend and nothing more, and you should be content with that. Why couldn’t your heart accept that?

“Hey, you”

His voice startled you for a second. You didn’t notice you were lost in your thoughts again. You looked at him and he was already looking at you over his shoulder.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He asked.

“I’ll sell them for a dollar” You answer stepping closer to him.

You could see his light smile as you leaned next to him. For a moment neither of you said anything, both of you afraid of saying the wrong thing. You were the first one to cave.

“Ditching your own party?”

Ashton chucked “Taking a break. I don’t remember it being that exhausting”

You nodded, expecting him to say more.

“And what about you? Are you ditching my party?”

An unexpected sigh left your lips and caught Ashton’s attention “No… just needed some air, I think”

“Are you okay?”

He couldn’t dare to mask the worry in his voice. You’ve been talking for months, he could tell when something wasn’t right and it hurted like hell to see you like that. He wanted nothing more than to hold you and protect you from whatever’s hurting you, but the reminder that he was once the one causing you pain made him stop before he could do anything.

“I will be” you answer, hoping it’ll be true.

“Y/N…”

“Are you okay?”

“Y/N.” Ashton said, knowing the game too damn well. You were averting the conversation towards him, that way you avoid talking about how you really feel.

“Ashton” you said just as firmly.

You stared into his eyes, neither of you willing to let the other win. Neither of you willing to look the other way. God, you knew his eyes were beautiful, but beautiful cuts short when he’s looking at you so intensely. For his part, it felt selfish, but he couldn’t look away. He’s never seem such sadness in someone’s eyes, it was heartbreakingly beautiful. Oh, how he wished he could take that all away.

Finally, you decided to break the spell. You looked away and softly said.

“I just wanted to look at the stars”

Ashton nodded. He remembers you mentioning how you loved the starling sky. How it made you feel less alone.

“Sorry” he said, looking at the night sky “But I guess this just isn’t the night”

You looked up and saw a bunch of stormy clouds over you. Thundering lightly as they hit each other.

“The sky is still up there and so are the stars” you breathe “Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean the can’t shine”

You lowered your gaze and met his again. You wanted to understand him, but he seemed so far away from your reach. You wanted to know why was he avoiding you again? You knew he was putting up some walls, and so were you. Maybe it was time to lowered them down.

You opened your mouth to say something, but Ashton was even faster by crashing his lips against yours.

His hands found your waits immediately, pulling you closer to him. Once you felt his touch you melted into him, into his lips, his hands, his everything. You opened your mouth and gave him permission to explore more of you, your hands flying to his hair and messing with it a little bit.

You were intoxicating. Ashton became obsessed with the way you tasted and how your lips molded into his perfectly. The little moan that left your mouth died in his lips and made him shiver. He’s sure he’s never heard such a beautiful sound before. Without breaking the kiss, he guided you to a wall and pressed you against it, letting your bodies pressed together, feeling every inch you could give.

It was messy, it was raw, it was everything you couldn’t say. It was perfect. Too perfect.

Ashton was the first one to pull away. You were both panting due to the lack of air, that didn’t stop you from smiling though. But Ashton’s face did.

“I’m sorry” he said, pulling himself away from you “I’m sorry”

“Ash” you breathe, not understanding.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have done that”

The panic in his voice was noticeable. His hands flew to his hair and ruffled it, turning away from you.

“This was a mistake. I should’ve never…” he wasn’t looking at you. He didn’t notice the tears spilling down your face “It should’ve never happen”

He finally turned around just to see your back disappearing into the house. Leaving him alone. He fucked up, again. And this time he might’ve fucked it up forever.

He felt the tears coming out when his back hit the wall, sliding down to the floor. He couldn’t hear his own cries, he couldn’t hear the muffling sounds from the party bellow. All he could hear was the sounds of you walking away and the thunder that came with them.

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ecoorganic · 4 years ago

Text

Michele Roberts Opens Up About the NBA Bubble and What's Next

The NBA bubble is holding and NBPA Executive Director Michele Roberts is already hard at work preparing for next season. She opened up to Sports Illustrated about the restart and what we can expect in the future.

LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. – Inside the Grand Floridian hotel, out of the soupy Florida heat, a wave of relief washed over Michele Roberts. For months, Roberts, the Executive Director of the NBA’s players association, worked tirelessly with league officials to piece together its return. Medical protocols needed to be worked out. Then, the financials. Yet even when an agreement had been hammered out, Roberts worried: How would players respond to months of isolation?

Not bad, it turns out. “In some ways I didn't think it would be as forgiving as it has been,” Roberts told SI in an extended interview. There were the expected complaints. Players didn’t enjoy the 48-hour hard quarantine they received upon arrival. “I think had it been longer than that,” Roberts said, “then it may have been more problematic.” Those buzzing Roberts tell her how much they miss friends, family. “The good news is that's pretty much 99% of what I hear in terms of complaints,” Roberts said. “And at the end of the day, the guys have said, ‘I got to go to work. I'm at work, I'm doing my job.’”

Roberts will admit: There were days she didn’t think the NBA would get here. On March 11, as the coronavirus pandemic raged across Europe and cases in the U.S. began to grow, Roberts met with Adam Silver. Roberts had watched the virus spread overseas. “Milan is one of my favorite cities,” Roberts said. “It was virtually shut down the first week in March. When Roberts met with Silver, the discussion was not if players would start testing positive, but how to respond when they do.

The months that followed were a roller coaster. Roberts watched the U.S. grind to a halt. She struggled to find hope in how a contact sport could be played while a highly contagious disease swept through the nation. After a few weeks, Roberts says, “I started preparing players for the season to be called.”

Said Roberts, “I thought the season was over.”

Hope came incrementally. Joe Rogowski, the NBPA’s Chief Medical Officer, began working closely with epidemiologists. The idea of a bubble surfaced. “I had very quickly grown to understand the importance of isolation, quarantine when you're suspected of, or in fact have had the virus and social distancing and using masks,” Roberts said. It sounded so simple and it was working in other environments.”

“The concept of the bubble worked because you can do all those things. If you stay home and stay away from people that have had the virus, you won't get it. That was easy enough. The question was how do we take that quarantine and be able to do it in a group context.”

For weeks, months, union and league officials traded ideas. Player safety came first, and the union rank-and-file grappled with the idea of powering through a virus with unknown long term consequences.

“There was a lot of concern,” Jaylen Brown, a union vice president, told SI. “There was a lack of information at one point. There's still some questions with COVID. We still don't know what the long-term effects are. Your hair could fall off in five years. We have no idea. It's just a new virus. So those were some of the questions. And information was being filled in, but it was not being filled in at the pace that a lot of players felt comfortable with.”

Rogowski gave Roberts and her staff a coronavirus “tutorial” once a week. “The experts really did sort of walk us through this and hold our hands and help us figure out what was possible,” Roberts said. “But for them, I would have recommended that we simply just take our losses and go home and be happy with our lives.” A breakthrough came when the NBA settled on Disney, a league partner. It had sufficient hotel space, and the NBA’s relationship with Robert Iger, Disney’s Executive Chairman, was comforting.

“It was then I thought, ‘This can work,’” Roberts said. “Because we can actually cordon off the world, or cordon ourselves off from the world. My biggest concern was that we were going to end up having to be at a place where the so-called bubble was just going to be so penetrable that we couldn't keep the virus out. And so location made a huge difference to me, and once the Disney option became available, I became a believer.”

When George Floyd was killed by a Minneapolis police officer in May, some questioned whether the NBA would move forward. Roberts, though, wasn’t one of them.

“But neither was I surprised that there was a conversation about not playing,” Roberts said. “I'm so much older than the players that I sometimes have to remind myself that there's a reason for the outrage and disbelief that this could still be happening. I was around when Rodney King was beaten and those police officers were acquitted. There's a certain numbness that I'm embarrassed to admit I have when it comes to these issues, because it's just seems overwhelming and happens over and over again.”

“The abnormal becomes normal. And so our players, like the rest of the community, so many especially young members of our community, were at the point of saying enough, and knowing our guys, there was going to be some shouting. And what are we going to do? We've got to do something. We can't just go back and play basketball. So I wasn't at all surprised at the conversation. I thought it was healthy. If it hadn't happened I think on some levels, I might've been disappointed, because I do view our guys as very, very progressive and very tuned in to their communities. And so not only was I not surprised at the conversation, I was proud of it. Do I think that those players that talked about us not playing were sincere? Absolutely. I absolutely that they believed it at the time they said it that that was the appropriate course of action.”

“I also believe that those players that said, ‘Hey, wait a minute. Let's take advantage of this platform.’ I believe that as well. I don't think anybody was driven by the economic reality. I think our players' passion is also informed by knowing what they do matters because people are watching it. I think those that said, we can use our platform to keep this conversation going were right, because that's exactly what they've done.”

Roberts is pleased by how players have adapted to the unique surroundings. There’s fishing and golf, while gaming is certainly popular. But walking through the campus, Roberts has noted many players outdoors, reading. She talked to one who, she says, “is a phenomenal dart thrower.” She’s enjoyed seeing the camaraderie among teammates. “I’m sure some teams have internal issues,” says Roberts. “But the guys I’ve seen genuinely seem to like each other.”

The NBA bubble is holding, with the league’s weekly announcements of zero positive tests become less anticipated than expected. But as the league attempts to complete this season, NBA officials are hard at work preparing for next season. The league would like to return on December 1, to build an 82-game season that ends in late June. The NBA wants to get back to its traditional calendar next year, and has no interest in competing with the Olympics, currently scheduled to begin in late July.

On the scheduling, Roberts has issues. The NBA Finals could stretch as long as mid-October, affording at least two teams little time to recover. “My guess is we'll probably not start until early 2021,” Roberts said. But months of work on this bubble has convinced Roberts that as long as COVID-19 is still spreading, a bubble is the only way to play.

“Right now I don't see how sports can be played outside of a bubble concept,” Roberts said. “I don't see that, given the state of where we are. Given the absence of a vaccine. Because as long as this thing spreads the way it spreads, the only way you can stop the spread from impacting their ability to perform, and this is at any job, is to isolate. Keep people separated and maintain as much distance as possible.”

“Now, having said that, do I think our guys are going to be in a bubble for six or seven months? Hell no. It's not going to happen. I think what we're going to have to do is figure out creatively how we can have bubble-like the environments that allow us to play the number of games that we believe we need to play in order to complete the season and crown a champion. If nothing else, we've learned that we have to be creative and we have been creative, and that's why we're doing what we're doing right now. It's something that no one would have thought about or had to think about five months ago.”

Indeed. Roberts says she has had “healthy conversations” with players about next season, but for many the focus remains on this one. The play-in game has added a layer of excitement and most of the top teams have emerged from the seeding games healthy. The arenas, Roberts says, “look fantastic.” Like many, Roberts was skeptical about the virtual fans (“I thought it was going to be the stupidest thing in the world.”) but, like many, has come around on them. “It’s got a real feel of an arena-filled game,” Roberts said.

There’s work to be done before next season. But Roberts is happy with what the league has put together for this one.

“Not only has this matched the expectations of what I thought might be the best we could do, it's exceeded them,” Roberts said. “And it’s because this is the formula. And I'm only hoping that we can keep this damn virus from making us all regret it.”

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ecoorganic · 4 years ago

Text

Michele Roberts Opens Up About the NBA Bubble and What's Next

Said Roberts, “I thought the season was over.”

When George Floyd was killed by a Minneapolis police officer in May, some questioned whether the NBA would move forward. Roberts, though, wasn’t one of them.

There’s work to be done before next season. But Roberts is happy with what the league has put together for this one.

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