#neverending puzzle

[sarahwriterx]

Blood Warning

All nightmares...

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Witch animatronics das Michael afton possessed?

A lot of people saying glamrocks freddy and that the most likely choice.

But I think he might possesses glamrocks foxy eather the pairt foxy or the cowboy foxy idk witch one yet. sinch in fnaf 4 he foxy bro. It also make more sense if he was glamrock foxy sinch he dasent appeared in the game.

In my stuff? No one. I'm beyond bored of the old stuff. It's been going on for long enough and in my mind, I've put it to rest. It's a puzzle that's never meant to be solved and I've got no interest in it anymore.

I don't know who's who out of the fnaf 4 bullies. I know there's a Bonnie mask in Princess Quest 4, and while that's interesting as a 'Cassie's dad is the bully wearing the Bonnie mask' it doesn't really... change much...? I don't think...?

If Mike is possessing Foxy, then RIP that guy he's probably in Robo Hell right now lmao. I've mostly heard the theory that Mike is Glam Freddy which makes zero sense to me, and honestly, the whole idea of him even still being around makes no sense to me either. Have you seen the ones about Roxy being possessed by Mike instead?

I think it'd be neat if he were in Chica or someone. Would explain the eating thing as a whole 'I'm human so I need to eat but my body is no longer human so it breaks me every time' kinda tragedy thing.

The only thing I think is actually possessed in SB is Tangle. I think that's an amalgamation of all of the Mimic's victims, with no full body to possess, having to make do with wires and masks. Each face chosen to represent another body, but there's more bodies than faces now. They make do with what they have, forever searching for their killer, but forever afraid they'll find it...

Oh and of course, the Staffbots. My theory is that the after hours party was part of the Staffbot project to get more advanced, more efficient worker drones. There's some clues in the games to lead to that conclusion and I think that's got some really interesting implications to it. It's also horrific. Awful. Hundreds, if not thousands, trapped in metal bodies that don't belong to them, forced to constantly work with their only respite being a momentary restart, the equivalent of a minute long blink... Awful! Very interesting concept! Very fun!

But yeah I don't know what Mike's doing. I tend to forget he exists now lmao I'm sure he'd do a much better job than Freddy if he was in SB though. Not like it's hard lmao

I appreciate your Mike Foxy idea! I like that! Definitely better than the Glam Freddy Mike situation! You think Mike is gonna go through all that shit in life trying to clean up his dad's bloody mess and then just leave Gregory to his own devices when he's in mortal danger constantly? Absolutely not! Glam Foxy makes much more sense! Unfortunate he's probably in Sewerhell now, but that's an interesting place to put him! He might like it there you never know!

[amourdivine]

𝐖𝐇𝐎'𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅? ઉ   PICK A CARD

Hello lovelies, I hope you're having a wonderful week! This is perhaps the first heavily shadow work focused PAC I bring to you. I'm quite nervous to post this, since I know delivering these messages can be difficult and I don't like taking a harsh, judgmental approach. I hope this reading resonates. As always, feedback is highly appreciated! If you liked this reading, please consider tipping me at @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.com! xo ♡

paid readings are closed as of february 2024

none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise!

pick a card masterlist & information

how to choose your pile.  take a few deep breaths for and look at each and of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later!

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

୨୧ PILE ONE

who is your shadow self? eight of swords • knight of cups • nine of wands • queen of wands

Your shadow self is the fearful side of you attached to anxiety. The side of you that does not believe you can save yourself from bad situations and feels endlessly hopeless, helpless and trapped. It causes a self-fulfilling prophecy, one where you think you'll inevitably fail, so you self-sabotage (either consciously or not) and end up "proving" yourself right.

However, as helpless as your shadow feels, it never asks for help. It's trapped in a spiral of shame and self-doubt, even self-hatred. All of this happens mentally for most of you, to the point where your body is neglected or stuck in flight / freeze mode. I feel stuck in the gutter, unable to move in the sticky mud. Despite your best efforts to succeed, you may suffer from impostor's syndrome as well, an inability to see your worth, your beauty and your own light. It's almost as if you're scared of your own power, pile one. Very painful, very self-inflicted and something which you may have learn from childhood, maybe you got bullied a lot or were heavily criticized by the people around you. If that happened, I'm so sorry pile one. You deserved so much better. You still do.

how can you work with your shadow self? nine of cups • the sun • queen of swords • queen of wands

You know, when I was entering college, I had a counselor whose words were life changing to me. One day, he picked up a cup full of coffee and asked me: how do you get rid of the coffee, without throwing it out entirely? And I was puzzled. It wasn't possible. Him, in his neverending patience, took me to the water station and started pouring water onto it, until the coffee was cleared away and all that remained was clean, crystal liquid.

Maybe the bad things that happened still haunt you, but they can be drawn out by the good ones. Seek for the light, pile one. Seek the nurturing experiences, the days when you allow yourself to just be, seek the help, the love and stay open to the love. Stay open to the idea that yes, you are worthy, even if you do not feel like it, even if so many people have made you feel otherwise.

These wounds may not fade entirely with time, but you are more than them, always. Always. I know it's never easy to challenge what we've been taught about ourselves, but in order to unlearn all of that, you will have to learn the new things, the true things about you. If they said you were lazy - was that really true? Or were you just tired? You're not "naive", you're pure. You're not "too sensitive", you're in tune with your emotions.

The stories we tell ourselves hold power. What stories are you telling about yourself? Maybe it's time to switch to a new point of view, one where you can rewrite yourself as the person you were never allowed to be.

୨୧ PILE TWO

who is your shadow self? judgement • five of swords • ten of cups • king of wands

Your shadow self is the side of you that thrives in chaos - listen, that's not entirely a bad thing, after all, our shadow reflects something which we need to acknowledge, nurture and work with. However, when you perceive danger or feel threatened, you may turn to harsh words or hurtful actions to avenge yourself.

It can manifest in the form of extreme competitive behavior, the inability to rest, overworking, even maybe envy, jealousy and arrogance sometimes. Now, I'm not here to judge or shame you, you're safe here. I think you have and still feel the need to prove yourself to others, to prove them all wrong. Maybe other people told you that you couldn't do it - and you took it all personally, so personally that it crumbles your self-esteem when someone diminishes your efforts or accomplishments.

Your shadow side craves attention, praise and approval. You want to succeed, to be someone you're proud of, to just never feel insecure, diminished or ignored again. You can also turn possessive with loved ones, wondering if they really love you or if they are lying. There's a lot of skepticism here, too.

how can you work with your shadow self? judgement • ace of pentacles • three of pentacles • eight of swords

Acknowledge your feelings and these insecurities. "Fake it 'till you make it" doesn't always work. Being vulnerable is, ironically, also being strong. Understanding your limitations and allowing for other people to collaborate with you (and vice-versa) will take you even further in life.

Your sense of justice is commendable. Make sure you're using it for justice indeed, and not just vengeance. Your ambition can walk hand in hand with your desire to do good, to make space for everyone else to shine, to open up to others, let them see all of you. No one can love perfection - even if they could, what's there to love about something or someone so perfect that they barely feel human?

It's okay to be scared, to feel insecure, to not shove difficult emotions under the rug. We cannot be at our 100% all the time. And we cannot please everyone, all the time. What you can do is praise yourself, let others praise you when they do and accept it gracefully, making sure you're spreading your warmth and wisdom to others as well. See, I think you have overcome a lot and a lot of people could use your help, either in the form of advice, resources or a shoulder to lean on.

You have leadership potential, pile two. Don't limit yourself by being alone. We were never meant to make it on our own.

୨୧ PILE THREE

who is your shadow self? ace of wands • page of swords • three of cups • king of pentacles

Your shadow self is someone who may indulge in harmful habits out of a need for instant gratification, maybe reckless spending, speed driving, partying everyday or simply not saving up resources and caring about the future. Your shadow self is someone who hates boredom, who craves excitement and cannot fully deal with long-term commitment in its many forms. It wants novelty, adventure and it comes at the cost of your responsibilities, your routine and your friendships even.

This shadow self hates suffering (fair enough, who doesn't?!) and will to go great lengths to avoid it... but ironically, it causes you more pain in the long run by avoiding the unavoidable. By never crying, never addressing your issues or your difficult moments, you end up running right back into yourself and these same issues return.

This side of you doesn't want to grow up - you don't want to fall into the trap of routine and a boring, 9-5 job. But excessive habits are difficult to maintain, no matter how good it feels in the short term. There's a difficult, troubled perception of adulthood and life itself. A need for constant adventure and chaos, a feeling of entrapment whenever you are with anyone who loves you, because you fear being controlled, tamed and used.

how can you work with your shadow self? the tower • nine of wands • nine of cups • three of pentacles

To put it simply, let yourself hurt. Let the foundations of your heart crumble, stop to feel just for a second. You don't have to be on the run all the time. What are you running from, pile three? Disaster, pain and hurt are often inevitable, but they do not have to be the be-all, end-all of our lives. The Tower is a reminder that all that crumbles was meant to crumble eventually, and there is beauty in letting things end naturally, allowing the flow of life to do its thing.

That means aging, growing, learning from the seasons. I think you have a very, very deep heart and mind you're scared to tap into. You're scared to be trapped in the endless hustle, to never feel alive or good once you "settle". But who says the big joys are the only ones that matter? As someone said once, big joys and small joys are often the same. Sometimes, waking up in itself can be an adventure. Don't overlook or underestimate the ways life tries to find you, to cling to you - remember to embark on the hard journeys, knowing you'll have gotten something valuable in the end.

You're brave and rebellious. You can be a catalyst for change in so many ways. Who said adulthood has to be boring? Who said you have to work a 9-5? Do you have to get married? Maybe being a stay-at-home parent isn't for you. That's okay.

Challenging the status quo may not be easy, but you have a natural inclination for it. Your shadow self can dive deeper. It's one of your greatest tools. Your need for joy and fun is not shameful - you can use it for healing, instead of self-destruction.

୨୧ PILE FOUR

who is your shadow self? judgment rx • justice • the high priestess rx • knight of swords

Your shadow self is the side of you that refuses to acknowledge your needs, your wants and desires. It makes you live inside of a bubble, scared of the truth, even if it will set you free. I had the hardest time shuffling for this pile, I kept trying and trying but nothing made sense. I think this is how your shadow side manifests as well, in the lack of clarity, the fogginess that permeates the choices you've regretted.

It's both reckless and frozen, completely lost in a maze, confused, looking for a path, for directions, for anything. It's almost as if you lost your compass, nothing eventually guides you and you remain looking for the directions only you have.

It's too scared to admit what it wants, who you are. Both out of fear of what other people will say, but also out of fear that it'll all go wrong. It's the side of you that remains disconnected from yourself, hidden because it keeps highlighting the aspects you keep trying to ignore, to not know. It can manifest in a lot of ways, either through people-pleasing or being completely reckless. Through lying, denial or even isolation from the world, from life itself.

Something funny is that a song by Bad Suns that just started playing really relates to this pile. "Cinderella slips into a dream like a curse / you could mistake it for heaven at first." This shadow self may live in projection, daydreaming or simply keep you out of touch with everything.

how can you work with your shadow self? six of pentacles • page of wands • two of wands • king of cups

Engagement and socializing are big ways you can work with your shadow self. Being actively curious about the world, about people. Approaching relationships, truths and life itself with genuine interest, no judgement or shaming thoughts involved.

Telling yourself you're an eternal student of this world, because we are and remembering you don't have to know everything. Start scared. Most things, you'll have to do it scared. Unprepared. In the thick of it all, you'll find the answers you need, but only if you are willing to dive deep for them. No taking shortcuts, making assumptions or allowing self-doubt to paralyze your living, because you need to witness life as it is.

Therapy is one big thing, music as well. Anything that connects you to your deepest self, relationships that genuinely make room for who you are, good friends that feel safe and non-judgemental. Your heart has been calling you for so long, pile four. It's about time you listen to it. It knows everything you need to know.

disclaimer. tarot not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings. please remember you are responsible for life and in power of it, no one else! ♡

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

[ask-indigo-park-swapped]

WELCOME TO INDIGO PARK SWAPPED AU

what if indigo park was a fantasy rpg and also i swapped everyones roles? let's re-meet everyone in this new exciting alternate universe!

Mollie Macaw :: the protagonist! daring explorer, journeying from land to land in a neverending adventure! she tinkers with model planes in her downtime.

Rambley the Raccoon :: a helping hand! he runs the railways between locations and always knows a bit about everything! he's no expert though, just knows enough to get by. he bakes in his free time.

Ranger Lloyd :: terrain expert! he knows everything there is in navigating safely through any environment, and is always willing to help travellers along the way! not knowledgable on much else though. He knits in his free time - Mollie's scarf was made by him!

Salem the Showstar :: shopkeeper and narrator! always inexplicably there, in the thick of things. their helpful commentary on everything may even provide hints to a puzzle, another path through, and even upcoming challenges! They mix drinks in their free time - always keep an eye out if theyre selling anything useful!

Serpent of the Deep :: main antagonist! an odd mystery, but generally harmless. he always lurks around, looking for pretty treasure to collect - be careful that he doesnt collect you!

these characters are now open for asks! talk with them as they solve puzzles, delve deep into old ruins, and explore a vast fantasy world!

[Current Arc: Pre-game (Tethered Isles Exploration)]

[Mollie is the only one currently available for asks asks currently closed because college. please check back in after christmas]

[Want to read through the blog chronologically? With none of the out-of-story posts like reblogs or moderator chatting? You may now visit ask-indigo-park-swapped.tumblr.com/tagged/chrono/chrono for just that!! updates periodically]

[...? is that a curtain?] [peek behind it?]

<hello. im the guy behind the ask blog. you may call me mod pikachu.> <i'll pop up from time to time to pull back the curtain and explain things in an out of character/story way.>

[seungkw1]

maestro — ljh // chapter 1

⛧ pairing: lee jihoon x afab!reader (reader uses she/her pronouns) ⛧ theme: fantasy, suggestive (18+ smut in future chapters) ⛧ chapter wc: 2.7k ⛧ warnings: minor knife violence ⛧ a/n: when i tell u that lee jihoon wrecked me sooooo bad this comeback !!!! the maestro mv was fully giving villain!woozi and my brain took that and absolutely ran with it. also, this is my first chapter fic!! much more to come, stay tuned <3

Your knowledge of the enemy is minimal, but what is known for certain is this: the Maestro is a dark and powerful sorcerer that is not to be trifled with - and you’ve just walked right into his trap.

You fucked up.

Your task was simple enough: sneak into the palace, steal the ring, and get the hell out. You’ve done countless jobs like this over the years - you're a professional for fuck’s sake. Sure, this gig was a bit more high-profile than usual, but nothing you couldn't handle. 

Yet somehow, they caught you. 

You rack your brain for a clue - something, anything, to indicate what went wrong. But you come up blank. Everything had gone according to plan (up until you found yourself surrounded by imperial guards with a knife at your throat, anyway), not a single detail overlooked. Something is off here, your instinct tells you. 

Here you are now, being forcefully escorted through the palace’s underlevels by a squad of imperial goons. The head goon hauls you through the dim hallways, his grip on your arm painfully tight, knife drawn and at the ready in case you were to try something foolish. A dark mask covers his lower face, so he's hard to get a read on, but you can tell he’s nothing more than a large, brainless oaf. You’ve single-handedly outwitted enemies like him in the past - but here, you are far too outnumbered. For the time being, you comply. 

You arrive at a large steel door, adorned only by a small barred window in its middle. With a rough shove the guard pushes you into the cell - you fall to the ground, your palms striking the cold stone floor. The hinges let out a horrid creaking sound before the door slams shut with a loud CLANG. You hear the clunking of a heavy chain, then the click of a padlock. Footsteps fade away as the imperial squad retreats - then, silence. You are all alone, trapped, imprisoned in this musty cell, somewhere in the depths of the Maestro’s palace. 

You sit on the hard ground, alone with your thoughts. The more you think about it, the only explanation is that this was a setup. But the Agency’s entire job is to sift through lies and misinformation; if this was a trap, there must be something larger at play - something elaborate, sinister. 

Unfortunately for you, you have nothing but time to try and piece together this puzzle. You lean your head against the stone wall, trying to figure out how the fuck you're gonna get yourself out of this mess. 

The absence of natural light leaves you with no way of telling time. The silence grows eerie. Your mind wanders, imagination soon running wild. You’ve heard of people who lose their minds within days of solitary confinement. Will that happen to me?, you can’t help but wonder. How long will I be here? Are they going to bring me food, or am I doomed to die of starvation? How did I even end up here? What are they planning to do with me? What if they forget about me? What if…

Your mind grows weary. You decide to lay down - no use in staying awake and overthinking. You rest your head on the gravelly floor - it’s uncomfortable, but your eyelids soon become heavy. You drift in and out of consciousness, strange visions and voices floating through your mind. Before long, you are asleep.

You’re running. You don’t know where to, but you are running through winding, endless corridors. Running from… something. You don’t know what. The sound of your racing heartbeat pounds in your ears, surpassed only by the heaving pants of your labored breathing. The neverending halls begin to expand around you - they grow larger and larger, disorienting your sense of perception. From behind, unsettling noises draw nearer and nearer: screeching echoes, thunderous crashes, wicked laughter. You run, but it’s not fast enough. The horrid sounds infiltrate your mind, reverberating through your skull so loudly you feel as if your head is about to explode. Suddenly, through blurred vision you see the hallway’s end; at it stands a cloaked figure, facing away from you. You can’t see anything else of the entity, but you sense the dark energy that surrounds it. Dread wells in the pit of your stomach, filling you with terror - but, for some reason, you are drawn to the malevolent being. Their presence is magnetic, alluring - frightening, but seductive. You press on - you don’t know why, but you must get to them. Your legs feel as if they’ve turned to lead - each footstep slowing you down further. You’re almost there, almost, almost… finally - the figure is within arm’s reach. In excruciating slow motion, you extend your hand toward them. Your fingertips graze the black cloak, its woven texture coarse against your skin. Your hand glides over the thick fabric - you close your grip around their shoulder, forcefully turning them around to face you. You lift your gaze to look at their face-

BANG.

You jolt awake in a panic. Disoriented, heart pounding, it takes you a moment to realize you’re still in the cold, dark prison cell. Faint light enters the room through the now-open doorway. Standing in it is a tall, thin man - you can barely make out his face, but his presence is unsettling. He peers down at you, his piercing eyes practically boring a hole into your head. 

“Come with me,” is all he says. 

You blink dully a few times, still not fully lucid. You try to process what all is happening, but your dream (nightmare?) weighs heavily at the forefront of your mind. The odious man quickly becomes irritated.

“GET UP!” he bellows at you.

You rise, stumbling to your feet. Two guards enter from behind him, swiftly seizing hold of your arms and yanking you out of the cell. They halt in front of the man. An unpleasant scowl seems permanently engraved on his face. He smirks at you.

“Well aren’t you pretty.”

You spit on the ground in front of his feet. The man glares at you with vitriol. He draws a short sword from the depths of his cloak, pointing it at your face. He traces the razor-sharp tip lightly across your cheek.

“Act like that again,” he sneers. With a quick flick of the wrist he delivers a small slash into your cheekbone. You barely flinch.

“And I’ll carve some very permanent scars into that pretty little face of yours.”

You stare at him, but say nothing. With a huff he turns, sauntering off into the hallway.

“Come along now. The Maestro wants to see you.”

—

The first thing you notice upon entering the chamber is the hundreds of candles set alight, illuminating the otherwise unlit space. The second is the hooded figure seated upon the throne at the room’s distant end, reclining arrogantly - watching you intensely. 

You hadn’t seen their face, but you know: it is the figure from your dream.

The guards stand you before the Maestro. You still can’t see their face. The thin man who summoned you steps forward, giving a small bow to his master.

“The thief, Your Majesty.”

The Maestro leans forward. Their face, previously shadowed, becomes illuminated in the candlelight: you see a man, much younger than anticipated - and strikingly beautiful. His eyes, adorned with dark makeup, peer up and down your body, studying you. He rises, nonchalantly descending the few steps before him; the clacking of his boots against the dark marble echoes through the otherwise silent chamber. He strolls toward you, maintaining eye contact, coming to a stop within mere inches of you. Slowly he removes his hood, revealing a head of long pale tresses. Up close, he is even more stunning. 

The man lifts his hand, delicately taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger. He tilts your head, observing the cut on your cheek.

“I told you to bring me the prisoner unharmed,” he scolds his servant. His gaze doesn’t stray from your face.

The subordinate’s face drops. “Apologies, my liege,” he responds hesitantly. “I-”

“Leave.”

He says nothing else. The servant’s eyes darken with fear. “My liege-”

The man before you motions to the guards. “Take him away.”

The guards seize the man, dragging him from the chamber in silence. The door closes with a heavy thud. You are now alone with the enemy. 

Your existing knowledge of the mysterious individual known as the Maestro is minimal - you have a fairly high level of clearance within the Agency, but even there the details are sparse. Rumors abound, but what is known for certain is this: the Maestro is a dark and powerful sorcerer, and is not to be trifled with.

You watch the man before you intently as he turns on his heels, meandering casually across the room, hands behind his back. Undoubtedly, his presence is intimidating; but admittedly he does not seem to be nearly the loathsome monster you’ve been led to believe he is. Regardless, you will not be letting your guard down. 

“My apologies for the poor treatment you have received thus far,” the man starts as he resumes his seat upon the large, ornate chair. A bowl of deep-purple grapes sits on the table beside him; he reclines again, reaching for the supple fruits. He plucks a particularly round grape from its stem, drawing it to his lips - he places it upon his tongue, holding it there momentarily before biting down, its juicy flesh bursting within his mouth. He chews, his eyes fixated upon you. He swallows before continuing.

“I had to ensure you were who I thought you were, and not some irrelevant member of the Agency.”

You grimace, displeased to learn that your suspicions were correct. He did know about the mission, and presumably the Agency’s agenda too. If that’s the case, then how much else does he know…

You’re itching to ask him who exactly he thinks you are, but you hold your tongue. You know better than to engage with the enemy unless absolutely necessary.

“But now that I am certain, I assure you you will receive nothing but the finest accommodations.” 

You say nothing. He eats another grape. You’ve been staring for far too long when you realize his plush lips seem to have you in a trance; you quickly return to glaring at him.

A few moments of silence pass. The intense eye contact he sustains stirs up a sensation within you - not fear, not worry, but rather… intrigue. You know the man is dangerous, yet here you are - simply captivated by him. You silently curse yourself for allowing emotion to infiltrate your mind like this. You’re smarter than this. Get your shit together.

“Refusing to speak, I see. Very well then. But aren’t you curious?” He leans forward, taunting you. “You know I hold the answers you seek, y/n.”

Your stomach drops. He just called you by your real name. Members of the Agency are exclusively referred to by their code names - even amongst colleagues, true identities remain concealed. How does he…

Your face remains stoic, indifferent, but he smirks. He can read you like an open book, and he knows you know it. 

“Go on, question me. You must see there is no threat here - I am unarmed. You may speak freely.”

You know that’s an absolute crock of bullshit. A cunning sorcerer is never truly unarmed - god knows what he could conjure up in the blink of an eye. But, admittedly he does have a point. You very well may die here - might as well get some fucking answers first. 

“How did you know I was coming?” you ask coldly.

A sly grin appears on his face. “Ah, she speaks! Good girl.” You scowl at him; he continues. “It’s simple, really - it was me who allowed the Agency to ‘discover’ the location of the palace. I made sure their little reconnaissance efforts would lead them to send their most skilled operative to retrieve the ring.”

“You wanted the ring to be stolen.”

“No. I wanted the ring to be stolen by you.”

You pause at his unexpected words. What?

Every neuron in your brain is screaming at you to be silent, don’t play into his little games. But you open your mouth anyway.

“And why me?” 

“Oh, I’ve had my eyes on you for quite some time, darling.”

Your stomach jolts. He said it so nonchalantly, as if he was telling you the weather rather than admitting he’s been watching your every move for god knows how long.

You stare at him incredulously. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

He simply shakes his head. “Patience - you will learn the whole story in due time. Guards!”

A new pair of imperials, much more polished and intelligent-looking than their brutish counterparts you’ve dealt with thus far, enter the room. 

“Please escort my guest to her bedchamber for the night. I must retire.”

The guards steer you toward the hallway. You follow without resistance. 

“Goodnight, y/n,” the man calls as you step through the doorway. You glimpse back: he is seated in the same position, watching you intensely. You catch a curious look in his eye, one you can’t quite read. He disappears as the heavy door shuts behind you.

—

As promised, your new accommodations are satisfactory - lavish, even. You’ve never seen a room with so many ornate embellishments, nor a bed with so many cushions and fine coverings. The washroom was equally fanciful, offering a large tub and luxurious-looking towels. Enticing, certainly, but at this point you are exhausted, and simply want to sleep anywhere that isn’t a cold stone floor. You lay upon the bed, not even bothering to retreat under the covers. Within seconds, you drift off to sleep.

You find yourself in the same hallway again - this time, not running, but merely standing behind the cloaked figure. You extend your hand, grabbing his shoulder and turning him round. You raise your eyes, meeting his gaze - but where his eyes should be, you only found blackness. You stare into the void of his sockets, hypnotized in fear, their darkness seeming to infiltrate your soul. He draws a dagger from his cloak, shoving you into the wall and placing it against your throat. You feel its pressure, but it does not break skin. He draws his face into yours, tenderly placing his lips upon your cheekbone - right atop your freshly-scarring cut. He kisses you - slowly, fervidly, his lips burning against your skin, but instead of pain you feel only pleasure. His free hand wraps around the small of your back, pulling your torso into his, holding you tightly against his blisteringly-hot form. The dagger remains perilously at your throat, a constant reminder of the power he holds over you. His lips parts from your cheek as he draws his head back, looking at you once again, the abysmal darkness of his stare penetrating through you. Slowly, he leans in, his lips converging on yours. Your mouth reaches for his, wanting for his kiss, yearning for his taste- 

Your eyes open. There are no windows in your room, but you get the sense that it is morning, midday perhaps. Dazed, you try to wake yourself up, but your mind keeps drifting back to your dream - to the man who has somehow infiltrated your subconscious. You raise your hand to your face, running your fingertips over your wound, but…

Quickly, you sit up, tossing your feet to the floor and heading toward the washroom. You approach the mirror, peering your face in close to the glass. Where there should have been a fresh scar: nothing. Not a mark on your skin. 

You frown. You don’t know what this means, but you suspect nothing good will come of it. 

A knock comes from the door. You hear the turn of the lock, followed by the creaking of the door swinging open. A young female servant enters, carrying a bundle of fabrics. A second follows, placing a tea set on the small table.

“You are expected at supper today,” the first woman informs you curtly. She places the fabrics upon your bed. “Wash up and dress in fresh clothes.” The two leave swiftly without another word.

You let out a sigh of annoyance. So this is how it’s going to be then. Fine - I’ll play along with his little games. You glance back at the mirror. A tired face looks back at you, grimacing.

Not like I have much of a choice anyway.

⛧ chapter 2: coming soon ⛧

[slowlydifferentbluebird]

Dreams come true - Aespa High School AU - Day three

Hello people, part three is finally out! I know this time it needed more time to come out, but I'm starting to bring more variety on the blog. Talking about this third day things are not going so smoothly anymore for our main character, time to introduce some angst in the story🤭 Also, this time I'm using a Winter Pic because I feel she plays a big role in today story, but don't worry, all the girls have their space to "shine"

"Are you still awake, loser?", the message from Minjeong read like this, making your face scrunch in confusion. It was midnight, why did she text you at that hour? "Yup, what are you up to?", you replied, laying on the bed of your room in the darkness, illuminated just by the light of the moon, coming through the window. "Wanna skip the first lesson tomorrow?", her question left you speechless for a moment. Like, she sure was a bit naughty, but this was such a bold move from someone you exchanged the phone numbers with just few hours before. "Why?", you countered with another question, trying to obtain more informations and get more time to think about it. "Because I want to bring you to a place", she explained, making your confusion even bigger. "Don't worry, we won't get in trouble, loser", she added quickly, teasing and reassuring you at the same time. You rolled your eyes, annoyed yet amused by her push and pull. "Fuck it, let's do it!", you thought, before accepting her proposal and agreeing on the plans for the tomorrow. She wished you goodnight, leaving you alone again with your thoughts, now even more agitated, before eventually falling asleep, relieving in your dreams all the events of that second day.

At 8am, the next morning, you were leaning against the wall of the back of the school. Luckily you were able to elude Mark that day: he was extra late again so you just went school alone. You were also lucky enough to not meet none of your classmates or teachers while reaching the place. You looked at your watch again: 8.05am. Where the hell was her? If this was a prank or similar... "Waiting for someone, stranger?", the soft yet active voice of Winter reached your ears, making all your doubts disappears. "Here you are, girl, you took you time. I was starting to think you played me", you admitted, being unable to show a relieved smile. "Aww, were you that eager to see me again? I'm glad, but your girlfriend is gonna be jealous about that", the bob-haired girl teased you, caressing your arm. "Are you gonna keep to tease me and Aeri forever?", you asked, sighing and shaking your head. "Just when you or her shows me proofs of the contrary", she shrugged, smiling like a satisfied fool. "Yeah sure...however why did you picked this place as meeting point and where are you bringing me?", you inquired her, looking around, almosto check the surroundings. "How many questions, I don't remember you being this curious during lessons", she smirked and you had really the strong temptation to curse at her neverending teasing. "Just follow me and you will discover, loser", she invited you, starting to walk, getting at every step more far from the school building.

"Come, we're so close right now", Minjeong whispered. Her action make you puzzled, you walked a lot and you were pretty sure about being out of the school territory, so why was she so worried? Was is it a dangerous zone? "Alright, we're basically arrived, now do like me: squat and walk slowly, no sudden movements", she explained, keeping to whisper. Once again you followed her instructions, but all that mystery left you an uneasy feeling in the chest. The area was clearly abandoned and unkempt. The anxiety was starting to have the best on you when..."Meow!", an easily recognizable sound got your attention, making your head snap in Winter direction. "Hi babies, I'm back", Minjeong announced in a kind tone. You carefully moved next to her just to discover a whole bunch of baby kitties, meowing and looking at you two. "Are they...the reason for your request?", you asked, impressed by this side of her. "Of course, what did you expect? A date? Well...for that maybe in the future", she said with nonchalance, while opening her satchel and pulling out some milk and a couple of bowls. Without the need of saying anything more, even because her smooth answer just messed up your brain, you helped her organizing the bowls and getting sure every kitty had its meal. "How did you know about them?", you demanded, while letting one of the babies play with your fingers. "Yesterday, after school, I heard a cry and I found one of them, so I just followed him till here: they are very friendly but sadly their mother is not with them", she revealed, pouting sadly, showing you for the first time a more sensitive side. "But why me? You could have asked to any of the girls and yet you picked me", your question was sudden, lefting Winter speechless this time. You were right: she didn't even think about it till that moment. However she found the response quickly enough, she just needed a look of how much fun you were having playing with the kitties, you were so lovely and happy. "I already told you: you are different from the others...in a very positive way", her answer made your gazes met. You had not noticed before how cute she was and how much her eyes were the perfect match for her smile; at the same time Winter thought it was a lot of time she didn't feel so in tune with someone else, especially a person she had meet so recently. "Ehm...and then I can always blackmail you about the rooftop", she added at last second, as if she was trying to hide again behind her mischievous nature.

When both of you finally got in class, everyone eyes was directed to you. It was not like they were trying to make a story, but the the way you and Winter just came in laughing and teasing each other left few space to the fantasy. You coughed in embarassment and even the usual bold Winter immediately adjusted her behaviour, returning to act cold. You silently went your desk, avoding the gazes of your friends: Karina was staring blankly in your direction, Mark seemed confused af, Ning had an annoyed smirk on her face, and Giselle...you could feel her eyes burning into the back of your head and you had no the gut to turn back. Your emergency plan was to stay quiet and act like you were not there until the rest of the day. But, of course, you couldn't seriously hope about getting away with that. You barely managed to survive the next lesson just because miss Sunny arrived earlier than usual, but you were not lucky enough to go through the lunch break unscathed.

You saw Minjeong flee away the moment the bell rang, immediately followed by Karina, that seemed intentioned to tackle her or something. You didn't have time to worry about her tho. "So...what did I miss?", Mark asked, sitting on your desk, trying to convince you to spill the tea. "Not much", you vaguely answered, putting your things in the backpack in a hurry. "Why so eager to get away? Are you that hungry? Or do you just want to meet up with Winter again?", Ning, from the chair next to you inquired, going straight to the point; her body language was very accusatory, she tiny but she was leaning towards you enough to put pressure. "Nothing of all this, I just need a breath of fresh air", you justified, trying to get up, but the moment you moved, a couple of strong hands put you in your place again. "Stay seated", Giselle voice was stern, cold, irritated. "Now you're gonna tell me where the fuck you have been", Giselle ordered through her teeth, grabbing your chin and oblying you to look at her. "Oh my god, why are people making such a fuss for nothing?", you groaned in annoyance; this whole situation was getting ridicolous. Why were you even being questioned for such a silly reason. "For nothing? Are you fucking kidding me?", Gigi shouted angrily at you and that really made you snap. "What's your problem? What do you care if I skip lessons to spend time with Minjeong?", you shouted back, getting up to confront her face to face. "Calling her Minjeong...are you two already that close?", Ning instigated, an hint of bother in her tone; luckily both you and Aeri was too focused on each other to hear her. "Ning, I won't add fuel to this fire...actually guys, why don't we all chill and relax?", Mark tried to bring some peace to the discussion but it was kinda late to that; he was just glad that at that point it was just the four of you in class, everyone else was gone away. "What do I care? Did you already forget that I'm your bestfriend? Of course I got worried if you start skipping lessons since the third day, idiot", Giselle retorted, her eyes were starting to get watery because of the screams and her anger. "It happened just once, drop it...you know what? I'm done", you sighed in frustration, finally moving away from your spot and rushing out of the room, leaving behind you just the sound of someone sobbing.

You were so pissed off at your friends, why did they have to ruin a nice moment like the one of your morning? Did you need to inform them about anything in your life? Did they have the exclusivity on your persona? You were already starting to regret on moving there. You were actually so nervous after that fight that you were not even hungry. You were spiraling in your doubts and angry thoughts when..."Hey...can I join you?", you looked up to meet the kind smile of Karina, her eyes full of concern. You simply nodded, moving a little to leave some space on the bench you were sitting on. "Are you okay?", she softly asked, putting her hand over yours. "Kinda...yeah", you barely replied, conflicted on how to act: you were still angry with the world but it was not Karina fault. "Are you sure? I heard you had a big fight with Giselle", she exposed her worry, caressing the back of your hand with her thumb. It was not the first time she did that, it happened even the first day, it was oddly relaxing and you felt like your heart was being in peace again. "Yeah, it was a rough moment...actually it was the first time we have ever fought in so many years of friendship", you told her, looking at her pretty face with a ladle smile. "You know, sometimes it happens in these cases: human relationships are different online and in real life; probably you two just need to find...the right balance", Jimin suggested, offering you a comforting smile. She was not a genius in relationships and stuff like that, but she saw you in a moment of difficulty and she felt she had to comfort you somehow. "Maybe you're right...but I guess we need to resolve this mess first. What about you and Winter? Is everything alright?", you asked back, checking the situation you glimpsed before, but at that question Karina looked totally lost. "Did you two not fight? I saw you running behind her at the end of the lesson", you explained, pointing out what you have seen. "Ohhh, that! No, we simply ran to the cafeteria because today there was tiramisù on the menu", just at her reference of food, your stomach growled; furthermore you felt like a fool: of course they didn't fight, you were the only one attacked for that event.

After chatting a bit more, you and Karina parted away, she really helped you to calm down. Now you were not mad anymore, just sad, disappointed and very hungry. Despite that you decided to walk around again to clarify your thoughts. You were not feeling really good, but you thought that maybe walking would have helped you feeling better. The truth was that at every step, you felt even worse. With difficulty you went back in the building, trudging on the stairs to reach the floor where your class was. What was wrong with your body? Did the fight really disconcert you that much? "Here you are, hurry up, lessons are abou to star...wait, are you good? You are so pale", Ning walked into you at the corner of the hallway and, even if at the start she was intentioned to act in the usual irritating way, she immediately changed attituted, seeing your conditions. "Yeah...perfectly...fine...", you tried to act tough, but you were out of breath and you were sweating. "No really, is something wrong? Do you need to go to the infirmary?", the worry in her voice was obvious, probably your appearance was realy giving your hard time away; she placed an hand on your chest to stop you in your track, she did it kindly but you it feel like a strong push. "Maybe...just water...", you gave up on your facade, feeling your strenghts vanishing. "Let's go to the vending machine, I'll buy you something and...OH MY GOD!", she grabbed your arm to guide you, but right in that moment the world around you started to spin, you felt the lack of oxygen in your lungs until...everything went black. The last thing you remember was the faint voice of Ning asking for help and a cold surface hitting your cheek.

[kohakurin8]

~ Elevator Hitch ~

What Does it All Mean!?

A brief theory on the symbolism and lore behind a really cool game

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

This post will contain SPOILERS for the game and all 14 endings. If you wish to play Elevator Hitch before reading, you can download it for free at this link.

So, Where do we begin?

Elevator Hitch is a really cool isolated-loop surreal horror game. For those of you who aren't familiar with this concept, an "isolated-loop" is a time-loop scenario which only affects a single person, small group of people, single room, etc. — but does NOT affect the entire world or universe. This is where it's common to see things like acquiring an item in your inventory, getting murdered, then waking up again at the beginning of the day with the item still in your inventory.

This concept has been used in various different media, and to varying different degrees of complexity. But, honestly, I think this game is my favorite instance of it so far.

So our story revolves around Protag, a somewhat meek and nervous lil guy who comes to this office building to take an interview for a new job. All he knows is that his interview isn't on the first floor, so he gets in the elevator in an attempt to find it. Before the door closes, Coworker forces his way in, and the elevator suddenly shorts out and jams before you two can begin your journey. The rest of the game is your various attempts to exit the elevator (alive) which get increasingly bizarre — especially after Protag realizes that whenever he dies, time restarts to when they first entered the elevator!

Shame Coworker doesn't seem to remember anything, though...

Now, since the lore within the game is pretty cryptic, none of our questions about the situation ever seem to get totally answered. It's up to the player to theorize and surmise just what exactly is happening to Protag and Coworker, and that's exactly what I've come here to do.

Death and Clues on Every Floor...

Literally! Every floor is a single room containing at least 1 clue, and at least 1 possible death — including the elevator itself. But what's even more important than that is the lore that all of these scenes show you.

Interestingly enough, the lore all seems to revolve around who Protag is as a person, to the point that one of the floors is actually his childhood bedroom.

Kind of intriguing that everything about this environment is centered around him, huh?

Hold onto that thought.

Every room and scenario is increasingly more bizarre, featuring anything from Eldritch-esque beings to settings that could almost pass for torture chambers. Every puzzle requires something from a different floor, making it ridiculously easy to screw up and croak, meanwhile Coworker is so maddeningly unaware that even when he tries to offer advice it's just as cryptic as the situation itself.

It all feels a lot... Like Hell...

Not just as an expression, but actual Hell. Mind rending stimuli navigated through tedious puzzle solving, where the penalty is gruesome death and the only reward is more torture. A neverending loop of suffering and confusion. It's all quite hellish!

At first this feels a bit superficial. "Of course it's hellish, this is a horror game!" But, honestly, good horror like this game is rarely ever bizarre and incomprehensible for the sheer shock value. If all of these allusions were superficial, why would we have such a detailed and cryptic conversation with Manuel, the maintenance worker?

Why would every single "correct answer" to the puzzles have sinister undertones?

Why would the religious subtext in Protag's room be so subtle and yet so distinct at the same time?

So if we humour ourselves and follow this train of thought then that leads one to wonder...

Why would Protag be in Hell?

Good question! After all, he doesn't even seem to be aware of having any initial death!

But, we are given breadcrumbs to what sort of person Protag is through the various different scenarios that ensue. Some things are minor details, like his lack of remorse for feeding an innocent rat to a hungry black hole. Others are more intense and significant, like the clues in his bedroom...

Let's start with pointing out the obvious direction that Protag's dialogue trees nudge you in.

After all, this game is a visual novel, so of course there are points when your dialogue options matter and can very well change the outcome of the situation. However, most VNs have options that are distinctly "good" or "bad" for the story directions, often leading the player on a journey of teaching the protagonist how to be a better person.

But Protag.... doesn't become better...

All of his dialogue options are either:

• Confusion, Frustration, Disbelief

• Self-Deprecating, Meek

• Deceptive

• Lashing Out

Obviously some of these options are better for certain scenarios. Deceiving Coworker into giving you his lighter is a way better idea than trying to steal it and burning you both to death.

And deceiving your Doppelgangers into trusting you before your brutal betrayal is arguably better than trusting them and getting betrayed in return.

But none of these options point to Protag being a good person. As much as he learns to adapt to his environment, nothing he does teaches him how to be a better person than he started out as. In fact, some of them even lead him to commit murder himself!

Of course, this isn't saying that Protag is necessarily a bad person either. After all, his initial reaction to the Doppelgangers is to trust them and even show them pity.

We also get a lot of information about Protag from the floor that mimics his childhood bedroom. He was monitored constantly by overbearing and religious parents, to the point that one of the Bad Ends is his parents entering the room.

He couldn't sleep, plagued by nightmarish beings which he even made drawings of, and had to take sleeping pills just to cope (which may or may not have been hidden from his parents as well)

Considering this, and just the sheer amount of existential dread Protag has upon visiting this floor, it's very possible that his parents were abusive. His personality issues are probably a result of that abuse, meaning even though he isn't necessarily a good person, he also isn't inherently a bad one.

The Allusions of Suicide...

This should honestly come as no surprise, but this game does have a lot of potential allusions to suicide. Especially when taking into account what suicide means in Christianity...

I first noticed this in the dialogue on Floor 9 with Normal Guy, as well as the dialogue contained in Ending 13 (screenshot above). During the interview on Floor 9, Protag seems to struggle with answering most of the questions. When asked why he wanted a new job, all of the answers imply that he doesn't actually know why, and when asked why he left his old job, Protag states that "it wasn't a Real Job" or at least not one viewed as respectable.

Then, when attempting to leave the Lobby on Floor 1, Protag is blocked by an alarming figure who berates him. The figure taunts Protag with phrases he's likely told himself, like "you worked so hard to get here" and especially "you NEED this job"

Now, this game absolutely LOVES its workplace puns, and something about these ones just struck me as significant. Upon further reflection on everything going on, I realized that these phrases are almost synonymous with suicidal thoughts.

As someone who's experienced this myself, I understand that a lot of suicidal thoughts are rooted more in the desire for change, and not the desire for death. So consider this...

Protag isn't looking for a new job, he's looking for a new life. His old life didn't feel "real" or "respectable", likely because of whatever abuse he endured from his parents. After all, his childhood bedroom is described by him as his "old place", meaning he likely was living with his parents until somewhat recently.

So then when he finally passes the interview — passes this hellish elevator trial of self-discovery — and tries to flee, he's stopped by the thoughts of regret for taking his own life.

"You worked so hard for this new life, why are you throwing it away?"

"You NEED this change."

"You can't go back to what you were before."

Then there's the Sleeping Pill found in Protag's bedroom. It's not found in a pill bottle or any other typical storage, but rather it's under the bedsheets. This gives the impression that the pill either fell out of Protag's hand in bed, or that he was hiding the pills from his overbearing parents.

Then there's the fact that sleeping pills are a very common medium for attempted suicide.

This leads me to suspect that Protag either overdosed in an attempted suicide as a child, causing his parents to become even more protective.

Or... This is how Protag ended up at the office building in the first place...

Welcome to Protag's Purgatory

Yeah, you may have guessed it already, but I am in fact suggesting that Protag has committed suicide and is currently trapped in Purgatory. After all, if you consider the distinct hint at his religious background, it's not unlikely to be following the Christian belief that suicide will condemn you to Purgatory. In fact, the opening of the game, where Protag feels like the only one who doesn't know where he's going, is a reference to the nature of Purgatory.

Consider, also, the nature of the game. Everything you do in it is a sort of trial, and it all tests the nature of Protag's true self. Not to mention that Purgatory is an unchanging limbo, just as the game paints a picture of an unending time-loop on repeat.

Protag took his own life, and his penance is to be trapped in an unending trial of self-discovery. Floor 9 resembles Heaven, like Cloud 9, where Protag is administered one final test. Normal Guy gives Protag the option to have become a better person, and possibly pass on to a better afterlife, however our dialogue tree tells us that Protag hasn't reached that level of self acceptance yet.

Therefore, the only options are what appears to be working in Purgatory (possibly like Manuel), enduring the trial over and over again, or as hinted by the eerie staircase downward in Ending 14, descent into Hell...

You're probably wondering if this theory accounts for Coworker, and it certainly does. After all, he seems rather unperturbed by the events he's undergone. I suspect he also committed suicide, but didn't have the same background of religious guilt that Protag had growing up. Coworker knows that he's supposed to go to the top, that he's supposed to pass on. He's at peace with who he is and where he's going, therefore he doesn't endure the same personal torture that Protag does.

No matter what ending you get in Elevator Hitch, nothing truly changes for Protag, because he himself hasn't changed. It's possible that there is some sort of future where Protag can change and move on — in fact, Normal Guy even hints that speaking to Coworker more could be the key to his salvation — but this possible future is one we will never see.

Because that's not the point of the game. The point is to become immersed in the torture which Protag goes through, and to try and unravel the mysteries of who he is and what he's enduring.

So there's my thoughts on the game. I hope you all enjoyed reading, and I'd love to hear any comments or input you have!

[aimfor-theheart]

Act III

|| kaeya alberich x afab!reader || E/18+ || hurt/comfort/fluff || wc: 22k || masterlist ||

When you, a beloved artist and performer of Mondstadt, attract the attention of the Fatui, there is only one person you seek out for help; the infamous Cavalry Captain of the Ordo Favonius, Mondstadt's beloved bastard.

minors and ageless blogs dni, 18+

❀ for you are the world (as i am in pieces) - @lorelune ❀

a/n: a whole ass year later and i have finally finished this behemoth of a fic. i will be including an intro of sorts below the cut, but the rest you will have to read on ao3! it just got too big! but i am sooo so so happy to have it done though. if you are still reading all this time later, THANK YOU! thank you for reading and thank you for waiting! and of course, thank you to my beloved @lorelune who beta read this last part and has offered me constant support and feedback!! also go check out their diluc fic (linked above) as part of this collab — it's really wonderful! i would love to hear how you feel about this ending/what you think!! enjoy!

tags: afab reader (she/her pronouns but is rather gender fluid/binds her chest sometimes and presents both femme and masc), alcohol use, kidnapping, mentions of stalking/full on stalking from the fatui to the reader, emotional smut, mentions of heartbreak/abandonment issues, bodyguard au technically, fake dating au technically

SCENE I

On the sloping, icy bends of Dragonspine. The sky is gray, snow cutting across the landscape in large, harsh flakes–the wind howls like a lone dog. You stumble through the snow, shivering harshly, gripping the fur of Kaeya’s coat around your shoulders like a lifeline. Dark blots of Fatui members urge you to keep walking. 

Your teeth chatter relentlessly. 

Out of fear or cold, you can no longer tell anymore. You have resigned yourself to focusing on one foot in front of the other. Stepping into thick, wet snow, and watching each foot carefully make ground. The wind cuts across your face viciously. You burrow down into the one relief you managed to grab–the fur of Kaeya’s coat. 

You think of him and feel the pressure of tears in your head once more. You sniffle. You stumble. 

The moment you do, you’re being barked at by a member of the Fatui to hurry up. 

Your legs are burning both from exertion and from the cold. You’re hardly dressed properly; they’d barely let you grab anything. They’d barely let you do anything at all. 

They forced you to write the letter; one of them had demanded that it felt real and there were no tricks to be had. In your haste and through your tears, you hadn’t been able to think of anything overly clever. No ciphers or sonnets or songs to uncover a true message to. However, you’d emphasized certain letters, tracing them boldly under the guise that the pen wasn’t working well, parsed through words that would give you those letters to form an easy message, one that you hope Kaeya would catch;

Help. Dragonspine. 

The letter itself had perhaps been too on the nose, perhaps a little too raw, but the Fatui member who had watched the argument transpire had urged you to mention it. To—

“Break his heart thoroughly, so that he wouldn’t dream of coming after you.” 

But you’d left your clues and now it was up to Kaeya to find them. 

To—to trust you, to know you—that you wouldn’t have left him like this. You wouldn't have left for Liyue. To know there is more than just the letter, but another one of your neverending puzzles. 

You hope he notices his missing coat. You hope he knows instantly that it could never be true, that you’re in danger. And you need him, now more than ever. 

Tears burn your eyes, pressing in your temples. Your throat aches. You’re not sure you have any more tears left to cry. They freeze out here on your cheeks, burn against your skin as the cold seeps into your skin. 

Even if Kaeya comes for you—even if he figures out your little message, it doesn’t change the argument. It doesn’t change what was said or what has become of the two of you. 

I don’t love you. 

The words ache fiercely, deep in your chest. 

You stumble. 

One of the Fatui members barks at you, harsh and sharp, to stand up. Get up. Keep moving. You grit your teeth. 

You force your legs to move, to make you stand. 

You keep walking. 

Tears break your lash line. 

The wind cuts sharply against your face, freezing them. 

Even if he’s a liar, does it matter?

If he can’t be open, if he can’t say it, then it may as well be as if he doesn’t love you, anyways. 

It’s all the same outcome. 

You choke on a sound, a whimper that could’ve been a sob if you had the energy for it. 

You sink your hands into the fur of Kaeya’s coat, gripping at it, desperate, and half-sick with your hope. 

With your despair. 

The shackles rub your wrists raw; something that subdues your Vision. You don’t even have your fire for warmth, can’t even call on the inner heat that resides inside of you. 

No, you think bitterly, mournfully, it’s just cold.

So cold. 

And you are alone against the harsh, gray sky. 

You breathe out, let it puff in front of you in a blast of small warmth.

One foot in front of the other. 

You pick your head up, you glance behind  at the world below—at your city and your land. You glance like you may be able to see all the way into Mondstadt, like you could see all you love now in hindsight, so far away. 

For a brief, rash moment, you feel like screaming, seeing how loud it would be. Would it echo across the lands? Would the winds carry it back to your city? Would your Archon hear you? Does he see you now? 

You turn back to face the winding slope of the mountain, like the curved, jagged spine of a dragon. 

You had never hoped to discover how the mountain received its name. 

One foot in front of the other. Deep breath. 

You cling to fur, half-sick with despair. 

With hope that burns and gathers in your eyes. 

***

❀ Read the rest of this part on Ao3 ❀

[yanderecrazysie]

can I request about the scenario with suga tho? and to make it better make the reader a little tsun tsun so that it's understandable that he didn't think he is her crush.

maybe she's having a conversation with the girls and the topic went to their crushes. and when she started describing him they caught on and asked "is it suga?" to which she denied and said that he's too bland and boring for her taste.

she didn't know he was listening, he didn't know she was lying

I especially love that last line.

Title: Deny

Pairings: Sugawara Koushi x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, drugging

Summary: Sometimes denial leads to more issues than confessing the truth.

deny

/verb/

refuse to admit the truth of (a concept or proposition that is supported by the majority of scientific or historical evidence):

“It’s not like I actually need help on my homework or anything,” you lied, “I just want an outside perspective.”

Sugawara smiled brightly, as he always did. Your heart melted a little every time you saw that smile, but you’d never admit it to anyone, least of all him.

It wasn’t as though Sugawara had done anything to warrant that response. If anything, he’d earned the right to know how you felt about him through kindness and neverending patience. 

It’s just how you were: you didn’t like being vulnerable and that’s that. End of story.

“I’d be glad to help you, even if you don’t need it,” Sugawara replied. He always seemed to take you so seriously and not at face value at the same time. He respected your wishes without ever getting offended or questioning your responses.

Maybe that’s why you were head over heels for him.

He was just such a kind person, you felt bad every time you lied to save face. He didn’t deserve your snarky remarks and cold attitude, but you couldn’t help it. It was in your nature.

You hated these kinds of chats with your friends most.

Boys, boys, boys- it’s all they ever talked about since hitting puberty and you were always subject to their questioning.

“Don’t you like anyone, (Y/n)?” a girl named Sakura asked, “Even just a little?”

You stubbornly shook your head.

“Come on, there has to be someone!”

“There’s no one. Every here sucks,” you stuck your nose in the air, hoping to come across as confident in your response. You tried your best to keep Sugawara’s smiling face from swimming in your mind, as though the other girls might accidentally see it.

“I don’t think that’s true,” Emi, another one of your friends, stated playfully, a grin growing across her face, “I think I know who she likes.”

“Who?” Sakura asked, her question quickly echoed among the other girls.

Immediately, you felt your face go hot, “Me, myself, and I. That’s three people. There, happy?”

Emi ignored your sassy remark, “I think she likes Sugawara Koushi.”

Gasps rang out from your friends. One by one, you could see the gears turning in their heads as they thought back to the times you two interacted. Putting together the puzzle pieces to see that Emi was 100% correct in her guess.

“That’s not true at all!” You were seething now, desperate to regain control. Desperate to stave off the heat blooming in your cheeks and that terrible feeling of embarrassment.

“Come on, you know you like him,” Emi prodded, “You’re always spending time with him.”

Your voice rose, “I do not like Sugawara, okay? We’re just friends, that’s all!”

“He’s totally your type though, isn’t he?” Emi teased, “Smart, sweet, and-”

“Boring! Plain! Average!” You snapped, “He’s literally so cookie cutter that it’s annoying. He has no personality whatsoever. He’s like a blank sheet of paper. He even looks boring.”

Emi blinked in surprise, “Woah. I guess you don’t like him. Sorry.”

“You should be,” you huffed, relief like a flood throughout your body. Finally, the attention was off you and that vulnerableness was gone.

You were safe.

That’s where your memory ended. It was a sudden shift, from the cafeteria to this dark room. Logically, you knew you’d been drugged and some time had definitely passed, but it sure felt like you had teleported.

Your cries for help died when the door to the room opened and Sugawara strode inside, looking grim.

“Why?” You didn’t bother hoping he was there to save you- he showed no hint of surprise on his face upon seeing your bound form, “Why did you do this?”

“I had to,” Sugawara said, head bowed a little, “What was I supposed to do? Stupid, boring me thought I had a chance, but I was wrong. I had to do this, it was the only way.”

It took you a moment to put the puzzle pieces together. And when you did, your heart dropped straight into your stomach.

“I was lying!” you spluttered.

Sugawara froze for a moment, a stunned expression crossing his face before it softened into a smile. One that didn’t make you melt this time.

“Then that’ll make this a whole lot easier.”

[solaceintimeandspace]

the journal

i've been bullet journaling in an a5 leuchtturm1917 for 4 years now. i feel very happy with the system i put in place, and i've taken to decorating it heavily this past year. i have a basic calendar view, with a direction of notes that doesn't make sense. i often repeat what i've written in my weekly spreads here, but it gives me a a nice overview of the whole month. i do feel and organise myself in months, so this is the best layout for me.

i track 25 habits because i don't want to lose sight of what i'm doing, i track what i eat because i don't want to be mistaken about what i consume, i track how im feeling because i know i will forget.

i also list my "commonplacing" entries, they're simply what i write down in my book where everything goes. this list does not include the more visceral stuff that i sometimes purge in a mess book that's structured like a puzzle. these writings are on my archive though. i also keep short overviews of what happened during the day.

i also track what i listen to, watch and read, who i have talked to, what i was interested in, and good things. at the end of the month, i write a retrospective, trying to look back on what i did and what consequences it has on present me going into the new month.

my week layouts are used for planning, but mainly archiving and quick journaling, so i don't forget. i decorate them with pictures that spoke to me as they help me anchor what i wrote with an image i will remember, even if it has nothing to do with the events i write about.

i've bought an a5 hobonichi cousin for next year, and it worries me somehow. i want to commonplace and journal in the a5, making it an archive of sorts -- but i know it's going to be difficult to get used to this new structure and system. i will likely end up buying a new leuchtturm but this time with grid paper. if anyone else is worried about getting comfortable in a new book next year, i'm with you, *please give me your tips, i will die*.

bonus: i use the hobonichi cover i bought for my cousin, and i fill it up with little pictures. i put them together from my pinterest boards and then print them out at a print shop. i should buy a printer, but these days i'm short on money. i just use them for personal use, so i don't reference them, but maybe i should if i take pictures of my pages and post them here? i'm not sure.

anyway, this was my neverending rambling about my journaling system. if you have questions or comments please fire away. i'll likely make a post about what months are what color to me and show you some other spreads from other months that i liked soon.

cheers ✸

[kkumawrites]

Pang! Part Fourteen: heart to heart previous | next

Word Count: 669 CW: talks about mental illness/depression

The sky is surprisingly clear at this late hour, stars sparkling up above you and it reminds you of the ocean - the universe vast and deep, not unlike the abyss below the sea that remains unexplored, one of the few reasons you found yourself drawn to the ocean blues. You find your mind wandering to nowhere in particular when Chan slides up next to you, neither of you saying a word. It’s rather nice, a comforting silence falling between the two of you as you gaze up at the neverending sight of stars. 

It’s uncertain to you how long you’ve been sitting there like that but the slight breeze that comes every now and then causes you to curl up further into your hoodie in a search for some warmth. Still, you don’t complain or say anything, instead letting him decide when he’s ready to say something. 

Chan’s not dumb and he knows you’re giving him time, the space to gather the courage to let him know what’s on his mind, it’s moments like this where he really appreciates you - willing to sit with him on a nippy spring night in pure silence. Still, he doesn’t want to keep you out too late, so he speaks up. “I’m jealous of you,” Chan starts out and his words make you turn to him so fast you worry you might have given yourself whiplash from the sheer force. “I just think it’s admirable? How happy-go-lucky you can be even during stressful times. Like I don’t think I’ve ever seen you upset and I just wish I could be happy? I feel like I should be happy? But I feel like I’m not,” 

You’re staring at him in disbelief, blinking as your mind rattles in your brain and before you can stop yourself you’re laughing. Just a small giggle but it still has Chan looking at you like you’ve lost your mind.

“Sorry! Sorry! I’m not laughing at you! I swear! I just- It’s kinda funny to me? Is all,” This time he’s the one blinking over at you in confusion. “Ok sorry. Can I be honest?” He nods. “It’s all fake,” You pause. “Ok wait, that sounds bad, let me rephrase,” You ramble just slightly, suddenly feeling nervous as you wring your fingers together. “I- struggle a lot with depression. For a long time I felt like I was alone and isolated,  so when I started college here it was a chance to reinvent myself but I still struggled with making friends. I met Soonyoung during that big old club day when he tried to recruit me to the dance team, even though I have two left feet. Though I didn’t join the dance team, him and Sua pretty much adopted me that day. It’s just easier…to pretend to be ok and happy, even when i’m not. Especially when i’m not. But what I’m trying to say is everyone’s dealing with something, and some people hide it better. You’re not alone Chan and you never will be when you have such wonderful friends surrounding you. 

He’s silent as he takes in your words, the two of them staring at each other as a more awkward silence fills the spaces in between you. 

“Can I hug you?”

Well it’s certainly not what you were expecting him to say, and you’re sure he realizes just what you’re thinking as you look at him with wide eyes. 

“Sorry- I’m just. Not good with words like you are so,” You let out a small laugh before nodding your head, opening up your arms. And when Chan slides into your embrace, it feels like two puzzle pieces clicking together. You can’t explain it, it just feels. . .right and you hate that you feel this way. 

So you do what you do best, pushing down your feelings and squeezing the male softly, no more words need to be said between the two of you as you embrace under the night sky. Just two friends.

[pedroscurls]

questions tag game 💙💛

this is a bit overdue, but thank you @penvisions for tagging me🥹

do you make your own bed? - ha, rarely. I share a bed with my partner and dog and I’m usually the first one up so… 😅

favorite number? - 21! bc of my birthday lol

what’s your job? - I’m a team lead for an edtech company (but I don’t like it lol)

if you could go back to school, would you? - YES, 100%. if I had the money, I’d get my PhD in literature

can you parallel park? - yes lol, I had to learn when I was started dating my partner bc he used to live in an area where it was only parallel parking spots

do you think aliens are real? - I want to say no bc that thought alone scares me, but we aren’t the only ones here so… yeah

can you drive a manual car? - nope lol and my dad has a manual car now and he’s been trying to teach me but I’ve been traumatized from the first time I ever learned how to drive an automatic car… so been there done that lol

what’s your guilty pleasure? - watching the bachelor/bachelorette series lol. honestly the golden bachelor/bachelorette are 100% more wholesome, but still

any phobias? - spiders, the sea (like that neverending dark abyss… I can’t)

favorite childhood sport? - I played basketball when I was younger, but I loved all sports. I was very tomboy-ish growing up so loved it all

do you talk to yourself? - who doesn’t? lol yes I do 😅

tattoos? - yes! I have one behind my left ear (lotus flower + last name - got it after my uncle passed last year and he loved lotus flowers) and a half sleeve on my right arm (they’re all birth flowers of the important people in my life)

favorite color? - you know, I think this changes a lot. right now? it’s blue and yellow 🙂‍↕️

do you like puzzles? - yeah, but I get so frustrated with the process sometimes lol

no-pressure tags: @wadewnstonwilson @lloydmustache @whimsiwitchy @sir-thisisadndserver @dragonqueen89 @wolverigrl and anyone else who wants to do this :)

[mrgladstonegander]

duck cousins negaverse

these negaverse thoughts have been brewing for a while and i need to write them down. personally an extreme believer of negaverse keeping a Core Trait and everything else being flipped

nega gladstone

still lucky and full of ego

LOVES working + puzzles

extremely selfish

errrrrmmmmm actually...! you're doing it wrong

loves challenges so much he tries to get rid of his luck regularly

nega fethry

we stay silly!

endangers people on PURPOSE

neverending critic

"i never said anything bad about you?? what are you talking about :(("

judgemental

nega della

still has desire for adventure

very timid (calculating)

doesn't care about what people (especially scrooge) think about her

went to the moon on purpose

nega donald

still angry, just a quiet, calculating anger

doing the bare minimum for his kids

works for and idolizes scrooge

still a sailor/mariner in free time

[fandomlovingfreak]

By The Cliffs (Ch 1/?)

Paul Lahote x Female Reader

Wattpad I AO3

Rating: Teen+

Word Count: 1119

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the Uley Pack Characters. This work is not created for profit or financial compensation, and is a transformative fair use work in accordance with Section 107 of the United States Copyright Act.

Notes: Aged up characters because finding your soulmate at age 16/17 is a foreign concept to me lol. Paul, Sam, and Jared are all 25/26. Jacob, Quil, Embry are all 21. It's for plot reasons.

General Warnings: This fic overall includes imprinting, I've just cut out all the weird shit SMeyer included. Like no children are imprinted on in this fic and will not be<3 That's weird as hell<3<3

More notes at the end if you're interested.

When the soul is ready, its mate will appear

-unknown

It was supposed to be a vacation. A time to relax after Graduate School and unwind the pent-up tension I'd built up in the years of juggling school and work. Finally, I'd have the chance to breathe. Craving the serenity of mother nature's caress, I'd chosen Forks, a four-hour drive from the University, based on the stories I'd heard from Washington locals I'd known in school. With its endless trees and rainy weather, it seemed a perfect sleepy dream spot. In retrospect, my belief that it was solely my decision to visit and not the Universe's mystic call pulling me there was mortal ignorance. But who besides a creature possessing the gift of predestination could have anticipated what awaited me by the cliffs?

  The salty air of the Pacific mixes hypnotically with the natural, earthy smells of the greenery. From the moment I'd driven into the small town of Forks, I'd been surrounded by the rejuvenating smell of rain and the canopy of trees. Stepping out of my car at the head of the trail only intensifies the aroma and overwhelming feeling of being protected by the ancient trees.

While helping me pick out new laces for my boots, the local sporting goods store employee mentioned that today would be the best for hiking for the week. Not too hot with a partial cloud cover, but not a downpour of rain either. He'd mentioned a beautiful ocean view on one of the higher cliffs off the beaten path.

Hike till you get to a spot with two large trees that grow together into an x shape. It's hard to miss.

He'd said as he packed my few things into a small paper bag. Thanking him, I got back into my car and drove in the direction he'd pointed out on my paper map.

I check through my backpack, mentally checking off all the necessities before locking my car door. The guy had been confident I'd find the landmark easily. Still, I was vigilant as I walked, scanning the trees for the described marker.

"There you are," I mumble to myself, veering off the path to the right. The guy wasn't joking; this really was off the general path. The damp ground was littered with fallen branches and large stones sticking out from the dirt, creating a puzzle to maneuver around. I was committed to seeing this breathtaking view and fought through the obstacles.

After fifteen minutes of stumbling and catching myself, the brush starts to thin out, the ocean fragrance strengthening with each step forward. I duck under another branch before walking into the idyllic view.

"Wow!" is all I can vocalize as I walk closer to the cliff's edge. It feels like I've found the edge of the world, viewing the neverending ocean from a point of view not meant for human eyes.

Dropping my backpack on the ground, I sit crosslegged and take it all in. This was exactly what I'd been craving ever since graduation. Complete relaxation and a view that kept on giving.

Stretching my arms behind me, I lean my weight back, soaking my face in the limited sunlight. I let my mind wander, humming as I think about everything and nothing.

snap

My eyes shoot open. Had someone followed me? From the sports store guy's words, I didn't think many people ventured to this spot. From experiencing the hike here, it definitely was a bit too off the path for the average hiker to wander onto.

I slowly craned my neck towards the snapping noise, expecting someone to exit the brush. To my horror, instead of a human leg, I see the flash of fur dash behind the trees and bushes. A thrill of panic shoots up my spine as I scramble to my feet.

What the fuck was that? A wild dog? A mountain lion? I had no weapons, only a few small rocks scattered around me, nothing substantial that would scare away a large predator.

Another snap echoes through the trees.

My mind races as I stumble over my choices: Jump from the cliff and definitely die or run back into the forest and hope that whatever creature was hiding there was more interested in whatever else was hiding in the trees.

The possibility of living had me running back into the brush, dodging rocks and trees clumsily. More rustling causes my breath to catch, making my movements more uncoordinated as I stumble over another divet in the ground, half regaining my balance before I fall.

My heart leaps in my chest when the thing I thought was chasing me steps out in front of me. Nothing could have prepared me for what it was. The thing-- a massive wolf, grey and black, trains its large eyes on me. My situation darkens as a second chocolate-brown wolf steps out of the brush beside its companion.

"No, no--" I try to pivot on my heels, instantly deciding that dying in the ocean was far better than being mauled to death by freakishly large killer wolves. My luck doesn't improve as my foot catches on another tree root propelling me to the ground.

The world goes black.

"Fuck!"  I think, glancing over at Embry, " Did she knock herself out?"

"Looks like it, " Embry steps closer to the unconscious girl, " What do we do? "

I phase back, Embry following suit.

"We have to take her back to Emily's." I glance over at my friend.

"What?" Embry shakes his head, "We definitely shouldn't do that."

Frowning, I look back at the girl. There's something in me that knows she's somehow important. Leaving her here isn't an option I'm willing to negotiate on.

"We can't leave her here. No one will find her."

"That isn't our--"

I interrupt, "It's our fault. We scared her."

Embry growls, "We'll drop her off at the hospital then--"

I shake my head, "That won't look good. Dropping off a random unconscious girl? No, Emily's is the safest option."

Embry's face is hard with thought. Finally, he concedes, "Fine. You're probably right. It would look..." Embry glances down at the girl, "Bad. But how do you plan on getting her there? We're miles away."

That's a hiccup in my rescue plan-- er-- lack of rescue plan. 

"Oh! You can phase back; grab Sam's truck and clothes, and we'll drive her there. I'll stay here with her. Make sure she's okay."

Embry bites the inside of his cheek, "Fine. But you better hope she doesn't wake up. That would be one hell of an explanation."

He phases back, running off and leaving me with the girl.

End of Chapter Notes: I love Twilight, but I don't love a LOT of the details SMeyer chose to write about the Wolf Pack characters. I am sort of throwing canon out of the window and reinventing a lot about the canon characters (nothing too drastic, I promise lol). The Cullen Family exists in this universe still but they're not important to this specific plot. Bella isn't mentioned either because she actually annoys me, but she does exist with Edward. I'm also going to try and sneak in a happy ending for Leah Clearwater because she deserves the WORLD.

[astarab1aze]

Taro's Wishlist

a thread exploring the intricacies of nightfolk circuses and nightmarkets, particularly where it pertains to what nightfolk personally view as 'freakish' or acrobatically talented

a plot in which two lovers work to save the world together, be they 'chosen ones' or just a pair who took it upon themselves to do the hard work because it's the right thing to do, or maybe they're selfish and have ulterior motives

spice thread where it's essentially 'i'm so glad you're safe and alive' sex. there's a certain vulnerability in the relief and terror of barely managing to survive a given set of circumstances, and when those walls come crashing down? chef kiss

magic school shenanigans, falling in love in class, doing classwork together, stopping an evil mage from ruining everything for everyone else unu friendly competition and skipping class to makeout in the neverending staircase--

the muzzling and taming of mr loux garo, or his imprisoning at the triangulary and summary magical draining to then being tossed into the flesh-warden Additional Body Parts pile. break the poor dear out of prison!

vayn getting his very own knight in shining armor, perhaps literally. the classic prince and his knight trope, really. vayn deserves a storybook romance

thread where someone witnesses furie being possessed by mausza at least once

cyberpunk sunjatta. that's it, that's the idea

a full and complete exploration of viostra as both a barren wasteland and a crumbling ruin riddled with the undead and hallmark scars of a war unending - perhaps with hydre, since he's the one who condemned viostra to its fate

royal ball type thread where faith, the poor boy from the cathouse in purrna, gets to wear a gorgeous gown and meet a handsome man (who happens to be a prince) at the ball hosted by the eternal duchess of aefre - cinderella au sksksk

any plot in which my muses die or are severely wounded, those are fun

magical cave diving with viresca

a day in the life of average kirati citizens thread, maybe there's a tour and a deep dive into kirati culture, good food, grisly hunting trophies, the noticable presence of spider witchers at one of the inns--

life at the zurine university in zuri

single dad au for kaede, in which he and his daughter saki move to the countryside to start a new life far and away from the shikabane - spirited away shenanigans ensue

mecha/airship/paranormal/zombie/cyberpunk horror au, maybe shared universe? super weird mashup, but i have big brain ideas

some kind of s.pace d.andy/redline-esque thread

a grand, dark high fantasy epic built ground-up on vagueries and bad old english, serious undertones, dark symbolism & subtext, maybe get a little grimdark with it in the f.ear & h.unger kind of way - how does one handle a meatgrinder? two heads are better than one, but will they survive?

no magic/powers au, just. people.

loux getting cursed and transformed into the shape of a rat or some other such small animal, helping whomsoever is willing to help him out navigate traps, puzzles, and the like, then rewarding their efforts with a tungskin potion and a salacious remark

dad loux. dad kaede. dad hydre. dad mharra, because he's the kind of guy that would just- soften, utterly, and that temper would never again flare.

bear and bee thread, where muses get to spend the weekend at a meadery run by bears and bees complete with silly gimmicks and decor

faith getting take care of someone, anyone, in the fashions he knows how

asuka's friends visiting them in the hospital after their kidnapping

oblivion-esque mage's guild questline. i'm serious

fifth element au

corny, melodramatic rescue mission thread

hydre talking to x muse all the while subjecting the world to an icy death, pontificating pretentiously upon mortal morality and what is well and truly evil vs a consequence of natural processes

dates >:/ dates to the aquarium, midnight strolls, evenings out at the orchestra, vacations, dates at home where the muses cook together, watch movies, netflix and chill together, take baths and think about their lives, giggle over boxed wine or shots of moonshine

kaede getting to live his dream as a rock musician, classic guy meets guy

thread where everyone hits tethis with verbal low blows - he is not a good person

king keres, as the nightfather intended

muses getting srunk down to bug size and meeting the pygmy fey

[markrosewater]

Happy birthday! You don't do this any more, but I want to express my appreciation for your old Magic the Puzzling constructions. The rule system of Magic is one of my favorite things, and working through its intricacies to solve your puzzles (and in later years, those of Sean Uy) was a neverending delight.

: )