#never know the true kindness of a mother and im sorry. im sorry you didn't grow up with a kind family. im sorry you were immediately thrown

[urban-shade]

Absolutely OBSESSED with your work. Can I perhaps ask for your angstiest headcanons that I totallywintdtealwhatareyoutalkingabout? :3

I NEED SLIGHTLY MORE THAN THIS FOR A PROMPT like 80% of my headcanons are angsty (i will absolutely dump paragraphs if i have enough of a prompt because thats what i do whenever we get any new crumb of pressure lore)

in terms of angst my aus are way worse than my headcanons and I'm not too sure what hcs to pull up so you get au infodump since they're more like headcanons about what i think would happen in slightly diff endings of pressure instead of true AU's

also i got a little carried away this is practically rough draft fanfiction i'm so sorry

ALL THREE of my AU's actually kind of work in tandem to explore how I feel Sebastian works as a character, I think no matter what, he doomed by the narrative to never get what he truly wants or have a perfect happy ending.

I'm only going to get into the specifics of one, but the rundown of all 3

Innovation Humanization (lowkey this fic is abandoned im too busy) Sebastian escapes the Blacksite during the power outage and Innovation hijacking a sub for him, he manages to bring Painter with him. He arrives at Innovation Arctic Base, and they go through the process of bringing him back to mostly human again over the next 6mo-year. He has to re-experience his greatest traumas ALL OVER again, but this time done by people that actually kind of care about him as a human being.

This is basically my "good ending" for him, he isn't a fish anymore, but he never gets his legs back. He has painter, and he has time to deal with his trauma. (I think innovation would have a therapist, and thats really the only therapist he COULD talk to about what he went through at urbanshade, normal therapy really wouldn't work.. you need the one that works at a kooky mad scientist base. He may or may not be able to see his family again, depends how evil you think urbanshade would be (if they'd hunt them down to find him so they can neutralize him)

Instantly Human He gets to be, perfectly, how he was before all this started. But he has to escape the Blacksite. Which is HARD AS FUCK.

This is a bit of spoilers for what part 2 to the comic is gonna be but, he has to knowingly leave behind Painter to die (he can't carry a computer as a person, too heavy). That's a "choice" he has to make. He also has no evidence that anything ever happened to him. Personally I feel like not even having a scar from trauma that fucked you up that bad would be upsetting bc it's like it didn't even happen yk? But also I know it is probably what he wants.

Teleported Home Lopee teleports Sebastian back home as his "reward" instead of turning him human like the IH au. Sebastian arrives at home in the middle of the day to his mother cleaning in the kitchen. I'll get into the details after this quick rundown

He gets to see his mom instantly! He doesn't have to deal with escaping the Blacksite! But . He's probably stuck as a fish and in hiding for a whiiile until they can contact Innovation for help. He also involuntarily leaves Painter behind to die in this one as well. He never got to even say goodbye or sorry. Painter is just wondering where Sebastian went (before he inevitably gets killed in a few days/weeks). And he's haunted by that (but also MAD at lopee). He let the kid down. More than let the kid down, he could do literally nothing about this lil guy he was protecting, dying an inevitable death.

You can't have everything Sebastian… Something must suck in some way… Urbanshade has permanently fucked your life

ok now for the details on the teleported home au this is practically a fanfiction that i didn't want to rewrite into actual writing because thats hard so forgive the like, swaps between writer thoughts and writing i know its weird 😭but i hope fun to read regardless!!

SO! Sebastian gets teleported home, Lopee is nice enough to make sure he's crouched down so his head doesn't go through the ceiling.

i dont know if ill ever do final art for this so you get my ms paint diagrams i hope you can bear with me. i gotta establish the setting here, it's in SoCal, middleish of the day. Sebastian was last in the norwegian sea at 9pm (yes this is an accurate time difference im autistic)

His mom is utterly terrified and screams and runs outside upon making eye contact with him. Who wouldn't?! Sebastian is kind of dazed and confused for a moment, he's HOME, and his MOM is 10 feet in front of him. One second he was in a chilly damp concrete box with menacing facility breaking down noises all around him, the next he's in a warm comforting home in the middle of the day with bird calls and shit. That's an insane transition.

He has to think quickly and chase after her even if he's really confused, he can't have the cops called on him and his identity exposed. I don't think she would fully recognize his voice, I choose to believe fishseb sounds different from humanseb due to the experimentation messing with his vocal chords/overall resonance. But his tone is similar to her.

She doesn't want to look at this Thing that's leaning outside of the doorway of her house, but, .. he does oddly remind her of her son.. but he's been declared dead for over 12 years now.. but the hair.. the look in his eyes. He honestly looks like he's about to cry to her , subtly trembling, hunched over like he doesn't want to scare her, but his arm weakly outreached like he doesn't want her to run away.

He's entirely conscious of the fact that he really shouldn't be seen outside right now so he's trying to stay mostly inside the doorway. He went after her on pure survival instinct/adrenaline. Hes so keenly aware of how utterly terrifying he is to her right now and feeling Miserable about being a creature a million times worse than he normally is because he's been thrust into ice cold reality of what he is. Which is something that humans should be terrified of

He didn't even get a chance to ease his mom into it, she's DOUBLY scared because there's a THING/GUY in the house and not just because he's a monster

He asks for her to come back inside so they can talk, she's still really scared but wants to believe its him. He's intentionally moving slowly while backing inside the house to not scare her more.

He doesn't sit on the couch since he's worried his weight might pop the springs (even just the upper torso) so he's just curled up in a pile near it trying to make himself look as unthreatening as possible. And he's ALSO trying to calm down like he needs a moment to breathe and take in his surroundings

She walks in all the way and sees him. He's truly trying not to scare her.. isn't he.. Sebastian was sweet like that.. She takes a breath to steady herself and asks him if he wants something to drink since she really needs a glass of water to help clear her mind

"Heh.. whiskey?.. I know you have it up in the cupboard above the freezer. Used to water it down back in the day. I never knew if you ever noticed." Sebastian was intentionally trying to bring up information that would help her believe he was himself, but also he could really use a drink.. and a smoke.. but he knew his mom hated those. If only she knew he used to sneak out to smoke years ago.

His mother just looks at him with an indiscernible look. Did he say the wrong thing? His ears pin back, he clears his throat. "Water is fine, I was uh..joking about the whiskey." (felt like this dialogue i wrote was really in-character/cute so I had to include it)

I think when they sit down with their waters to talk he, he explains the entire timeline of what happened to him. And once he starts explaining the experimentation she's trying to be quiet to be respectful to hear the whole story but she is absolutely crying. And she goes in for a hug around when he hits the point where he was promoted to Mr-p.

He can feel her shaking when she hugs him, she's still scared of him, but he knows she's trying so hard to comfort him and ignore her instinctual fear.

And they continue to hug as he explains the rest as well as the lockdown and Lopee teleporting him. He leaves out any details about him killing people, can't have mama knowing he's an actual killer now.. I think that his mom knew he was innocent and he is a victim of the legal system

I think Sebastian probably goes to bed around 9-10pm every day because I wouldn't be surprised if the Blacksite had him up really early for work assignments often. So after he talks with his mom for a bit he's noticeably really sleepy because it is Past his bedtime in Norway and ALSO because for the first time in a long time he's actually relaxed. He isn't in fish prison hell anymore!

They generally just hang out for a while after talking, and he passes out from exhaustion. She tries to put a blanket on him, but he violently jumps back while also shoving her away since it felt like another expendable climbing on him. (Side tangent I think he has an unnatural tendency for violence from his fishes in Addition to anger issues caused by ptsd)

He feels awful and profusely apologizes and they make up :)

that's about all i wrote for the start of it, but i had some smaller thoughts about later on

I realized he needs to eat a LOT and it'd be a major financial strain on his mom, I did the math and his calorie needs are like ~14-16k a day (THIS IS REALLY ROUGH but genuinely calculated with formulas and like muscle volume calculations ive done + adjusted to what i think makes sense, this is the Lower end of what i think it'd be. He might need more. It'd be more like 10k cal a day if he's true cold blooded. I feel like character wise it makes sense for him to be medium blooded but true cold blooded would really help him in terms of being Alive)

She basically has to keep him fed on costco rotisserie chicken because that is the absolute cheapest protein she can get (buying a whole frozen cow is still way more per oz than costco chicken) So he costs at minimum ~1000$ a month to feed.

He would be very cognizant of this and try not to eat too much and basically half starve himself. On like day 3-4 he is noticeably really, really out of it. All he can really think about is food and his mom is really worried about him. He really doesn't want to tell her but he'd eventually cave and be like 😓i need to eat like triple the amount of food you've been giving me. so she locks in and gets him some more food. Might have to take out a loan 😭 They really try to get him to innovation ASAP after this because she really can't afford to feed him for more than a few months.

-

ok that is roughly about all i have so far i know that was a massive infodump but i hope it was fun anyways Um. i make no mention of his dad cuz i feel like his dad isn't in the picture anymore but there's no reasoning behind it other than i like it

[fairykazu]

WISH UPON A STAR FT. SCARAMOUCHE ! cws: best friends, mutual pining, requited, fluff, modern au, teens, gn!reader notes: guess what they wished for. this has been in my drafts since forever. so sorry about that. masterlist | moonflower masterlist taglist: @ainnofinway @lovemari @lily-lmao @aethion

it was friday and it was usually the days where you and scaramouche hang out and relax from school, which is almost always turn into a sleepover. both of you were in his room, underneath a blanket fort. leaning on scaramouche's shoulder, you yawned, "scara, did you know it's going to have a meteor shower tonight?"

he shrugged you off, your head hitting the pillow besides his torso, "really?" he liked how you didn't mind that your head hit the pillow, instead resting nicely on his shoulder. he didn't want you to know that he actually liked it.

you nodded your head, boring your eyes into his indigo lensed ones. he turned around quickly, ignoring your gaze as his ears burned. "when?"

"around 11:50, i think." ignoring his antics, you answered, smiling. "i hope we would see it by then, if your mom lets us."

"don't worry, she will."

he replied quickly as you furrowed your brow, "are you sure? how would we even see them?" as long as you could remember his mother is protective over him, but luckily, not to a point where she's overbearing. regardless, she hates when scaramouche gets rebellious which is bad for her since he likes to rebel whenever he can. you try your best to prevent it, but you end up wrapped into whatever he wants to do.

his answer was blunt, as sharp as a newly forged sword, "sunroof."

you scrunched up your face, scaramouche likes when you do that. it's funny to see your reaction to his seemingly careless replies. "the sun roof? seriously?"

it's clear that you aren't taking him seriously, maybe it's time to amp it up a bit.

he confirmed it and took it a bit further by crawling out of the fort to point up. he could hear the blankets rustle behind him while you crawled out of the fort from the tiny opening. looking where he was pointing at, you wanted to cry. despite his family being rich, his mom liked to spend it rarely, making sure it goes to the right places, which is smart. she is smart but man, how could you guys even see the stars from this one-by-one square?

well, not really one-by-one, but it's big but not big enough to see every star that's possible to see with the human eyes. you wanted to cry but instead you turned around, hearing scaramouche's chuckles. "did you really believe me?"

your frown pressed into a thin smile, "what?" you were in disbelief because not only did he lie, he's laughing at you. wow, rubbing salt in the wound is really cruel.

he liked to pull pranks or jokes on you because your reactions are almost always funny to watch. but seeing the doubt set into your face, it made him feel a bit guilty. so he decided to uplift your spirits instead."im lying! of course, i won't make you watch it from this window because this-" he drew a rectangle with his fingers. "- is too small for you. when it's around the time, let me know and i'll show you how we'd watch it."

"what?"

"i just know a place."

when he said, 'i just know a place', you didn't expect it to be on the roofs of the house and how you got there? you don't even know nor remember. it kind of just happened within a blink of an eye.

scaramouche was chuckling to himself quietly as you looked at him, dumbfounded. no one in this house ever discovered that he had dug up tunnels and pathways in secret. so of course, he had a pathway to go up the roof. is this really true?

kind of. mikoto figured it out it was him but despite it, she never tattletale on him so it's technically a secret. if you ask him why he did it, he'd just smirk but in reality, he was a devoted liv and maddie fan.

you two sat on the roof, where scaramouche laid out a blanket for the both of you. scaramouche threw up pillows in which you caught, "are you comfortable?"

"as comfortable as a person can be on a roof."

"good enough." scaramouche replied, climbing up and adjusting the corners of the roof. you're just happy that he didn't make you sit on the slanted roof but instead, where he had his hideout on the flattest part of the roof.

you took two of the pillows and set them down. scaramouche immediately hogged both of them as you frowned, "that was two for two of people sitting here..." you pointed to yourself and then him. "two people, scara. me and you."

"...uh huh, i'm following?"

"you're insufferable." you replied as your face lit up. "wait."

"what? what are you doing? you're making me scared."

you pretended to stretch your back as you declined on him, resting full body weight on scaramouche. "humph! what are you doing??"

"you're a hogger, you know that? this is what you get and you can't push me off." you said, expecting him to fight back or roll you off gently. but instead, you hear,

"fine. what time is it?" thank god, he changed the subject because you wouldn't have known how to continue it after he agreed with your antics for once. "around 11:40."

"good, we can wait out here then."

"good..." you glanced everywhere but where he was. "scara, i don't think your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze." you said, recalling your complaint from earlier.

scaramouche lifted himself up as he watched for you if you fell, his hand near your head in case you did. "either this or the sunroof."

"thank you for blessing me with the opportunity to see this beautiful night sky, scara!" you replied quickly as he hid his chuckle.

waiting for ten minutes just to pass away is taking forever, scaramouche thought as he annoyed you by poking you. it was easier to just watch paint dry than wait for the incoming meteor shower. but he looked at you while you began to fight back with his poking by poking him back, it was worth it.

"scara! the stars!" you jolted up as scaramouche pulled you back into his embrace. when you turned to his face, he explained, "i don't want you to fall down and die. i don't want to be linked to your death, how would i go to the ivy league colleges now?"

"uh huh."

but did you really care? no... you rested your head against his chest, noticing how his heartbeat was increasing. you wanted to make fun of him, but you didn't want him to notice so was yours; you kept your mouth shut.

you asked, as he was tapping your arm, "scara, isn't the stars so beautiful?"

scaramouche agreed with you but not for reasons you may think. as you looked at the stars, he looked at you.

"wait, scara! wish on the stars."

"that's so childish."

"but i heard they come true!"

"... fine but im not doing it because you said so."

"i know, don't worry."

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi Kait!

It has been a while since I last played mysmes (i replayed his route for Saerans AE release), so this may just be because I dont remember it well, but I kind of wish we got more Choi twins interaction in the AE. I know after all, this is a romance game, focusing on MC and Saeran, in his AE especially, but maybe just a chatroom or a cutscene between the brothers wouldve made the experience much better for me (going from 150% enjoyment to 300%).

Okay, after all that, my question is, how do you think GE and Saeyoung were right after reuniting? Did they "click" instantly and started telling eachother about what the other has missed out on happening / about their future together etc? Was it a bit awkward at first? I doubt so because they just love eachother so much but also, being seperated for so long mustve affected them in some way. Would seeing Saeran again make Saeyoung more or less guilty for leaving?

Im sorry, this is a lot but I love your writing and your page is such a source of comfort, I can not think of a more appropriate person to ask. ♡

I've definitely answered something like this before but I can't seem to find the exact post.

I think it's important to understand that SE Saeran is in a position he can't quite seem to describe. Near the end of Ray Route, he says that he doesn't want to see Saeyoung. He wants his brother to live a life in safety that will make him happy, and that's why he decides to help all of the RFA members out in searching for his brother and tackling the demon to end all demons, his father. His initial thought is to save his brother and move on because the idea of being in a confined space in any capacity with his brother makes him feel sick.

In all honesty, I can't blame him for feeling that way. Rika told him a vicious lie and that lie was beaten into him until he could no longer think straight. Despite Ray's earnest desire to live with his big brother and see V again, the damage of Rika's torture, losing his brother all those years before the torture, and the lack of commitment on V's part to save him no matter the cost has made it hard to imagine that dream ever coming true.

He may be able to understand V and Saeyoung's position, but that doesn't change the heartache he experienced for their part in this. Saeyoung didn't say he was leaving, and in doing so, left Saeran in the dust with no explanation. Saeyoung was a child at that time, it's easy to understand why he thought not saying anything was better than prolonging his pain, but Saeran was left to wonder if Saeyoung abandoned him for greener pastures and neither Rika nor V gave him a half-decent explanation.

I can't fault Saeyoung, but I do fault Rika and V for not trying harder to explain things to Saeran because he was entrusted to their care... for quite literally his entire life because he couldn't stay at home, the church, or with Mother Choi forever. Saying, "Saeyoung had to go to do something important" would've been better than glossing over the truth. I know that lying like that wouldn't work forever, but... it's pretty much undeniable that this lack of foresight aided Rika's manipulation.

Just as it's undeniable that V's inability to remove Saeran from Mint Eye caused significant harm. He tried to remove Saeran a few times by trying to reason with him, only to run away with his tail between his legs each time because he couldn't unravel how unhealthy it was to keep his promise to Rika and to Saeyoung at the same time. Had he chosen to remove Saeran as soon as he could, it... wouldn't be the same story.

Mind you, Saeran doesn't hate V and Saeyoung for their choices. He understands that the situation is nuanced... and complicated.

Even if it pains him to know they continually decided his fate and he never had a say in his future, he forgives them for doing what they did in the heat of the moment. It's how he's found his peace, but you have to take these feelings into account when you're thinking about the bond Saeran and Saeyoung are trying to build AFTER the events of the RAE. How do you talk to someone you haven't seen in years... knowing what you thought before was a lie?

I understand that Cheritz putting Saeyoung into a comatose state was a decision to create tension across the board. Listen, if they had not knocked him out, he would've solved the entire RAE himself. He would never want his brother and his partner to suffer. He will throw his life away for theirs, and he almost did. That's who he is and what he does!

He can't do that, though, and that's why the story has us see the harm in his decision. He's thrown his life away for Saeran before! The RAE asks us to confront Saeran's stance on this decision. It even puts him in his brother's shoes, and what does he do when confronted with a choice that asks him to survive alone or to save his loved ones with his life?

Why, he does what Saeyoung does all the time and he has to reckon with that decision. Can he be upset with his brother for doing this... knowing the roles had been reversed? Saeyoung decided for him in the past, and in a way GE Saeran is deciding for HIM this time.

It isn't healthy for either one of them to be self-sacrificial but when Saeran is put in Saeyoung's shoes, it shows him how difficult it can be to do what you think is right. It doesn't make it right, but it shows him what Saeyoung must've felt that day when he decided to give his life away to the agency.

He doesn't want his brother to die, nor does he want Saeyoung to throw his life away. Even if he doesn't know how to talk to his twin anymore, that doesn't mean he wants Saeyoung to live a life of pain and agony. Saeyoung's done enough of that. There are a lot of pieces throughout the Good Ending that imply Saeran has been reflecting on Saeyoung's choices, and these spots are there for us to infer what he's been thinking about in the shadows.

It may not be obvious at first glance, but he's been thinking about what it means to be the person who protects those he loves first and foremost. When you take the information we're given in the game, we can infer what their relationship will be like after the fact. I should also ask you to pay attention to a few of these conversations because Saeran borrows words from his brother near the end.

Saeran and Saeyoung may not have been able to have a long talk on screen but that doesn't mean they didn't take on elements from the other. If you pay real close attention to what they're saying when you interact with them, you'll notice that they take each other's words to heart. 

Saeran realizes that Saeyoung has always loved him to the point of sacrifice and Saeyoung realizes that Saeran loves him and the MC to the point of sacrifice, too. Stubborn boys, so alike and yet so similar in their love.

Considering Saeran’s first request was to ask you to tell his brother he wasn’t awake, I think that says a lot about what’s on his mind.

Saeyoung is often hunched over the bed, sobbing, crying, and pleading with him to wake up, too. It’s hard to face your brother when you’ve gone through what he has, and he doesn’t know what to say to Saeyoung. When they last saw each other, Saeyoung did all of the talking and his voice was caught in his throat.

Even now, he doesn't know what to say because how do you talk to someone you've missed more than anything but you've changed in that time? 

How do you talk to your brother who sold his life to protect you only to realize that deal would never go through? How do you talk to someone who wants to see you again but you still aren't sure if you can handle seeing them? The manipulation he suffered in Mint Eye didn’t disappear overnight. It's hard for him to talk about his brother, much less actually talk to him, but no amount of being aware of that fact can stop it.

You can be aware that you are experiencing something overwhelming but that doesn't mean you can stop it. 

I imagine that things are going to be tense initially no matter how hard they try to be there for one another. Saeran needs some time to process his feelings and Saeyoung doesn’t always understand that, I fear.

He always puts himself in a position where he can take care of his little brother, but this causes a rift in their relationship when he doesn't know when to quit. It makes sense for him to want to reunite with his brother and for things to go back to the way they used to be, but they can't go back to the way they used to be.

They are not the same little boys they once were, and if they did pretend to be the same way they were as children, it would be an insult to their character growth and how far they've come in life. It's not easy to accept loss, nor is it to accept the fact that a relationship can't be the same way it once was.

But, the only way to move forward is for Saeyoung to accept that. It isn't Saeran who needs to learn about change! He already knows he can change and move past who he once was, but it's not the same for Saeyoung who has spent years picturing a little boy in his head when Saeran already moved past being that boy.

[Look at my Saeyoung post about him being parentified and how that affects his relationship with SE Saeran], for more context on that subject.

A lot of people don't tend to like my answer when it comes to this outcome but it's what's best for the brothers. They need to get to know each other again as if they were strangers. In essence, they are strangers, because they aren't the people they used to be and if they want to build up a relationship similar to the one that used to have, they need to treat each other concerning this fact. It's not as if they click and everything is all better. They need to spend time apart, as painful as that is to hear. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that they need to stay as far away from each other as possible, I'm just saying they can't be glued at the hip like Saeyoung would want. There's so much they need to talk about and there's no rush to figure it out. They don't have to do this in a day, and the sooner that fact is understood the better things will be.

They have to start small and work their way up to the big stuff as much as someone would like to see them talk about hard-hitting topics as soon as possible. 

Personally, I want to see them texting each other and calling each other every other day to discuss their likes and dislikes. I want to see them build up a relationship out of trust with the knowledge that no one is pressuring them to get this right the first time.

Make no mistake, they're going to get it wrong at least a hundred times before they get it right, and even if they end up hurting each other's feelings in the process, that's not a bad thing. The only way to get to know each other is to accept the simple fact that they're going to make mistakes in the process. Saeyoung is going to do something stupid, and Saeran is going to do something dumb, and that’s okay. 

It happens to the best of us.

I have no doubt that Saeyoung is going to carry guilt. But, that's something he's going to have to work on not only by himself but with his brother, too. He can't dump all of these feelings onto his brother, and he certainly can't hold them all in until he explodes like he's always done.

He needs to get into regular therapy to talk about these feelings and I know he will because he's moving forward as best he can with what he has. This feeling is never going to go away, but it's not going to consume him the way it would have if he never had the opportunity to see his brother again. Trauma stays with us regardless of how far away we get from that experience, we just get better about how we handle our feelings towards that distress even if it's not perfect. 

Saeran, on the other hand, has to learn how to speak up when he’s overwhelmed. His knee-jerk reaction to tell you to tell his brother he’s unconscious is a part of it. It's not as if he's trying to run away from his problems, but it is indicative of the fact that he needs to learn how to communicate with his brother when enough is enough.

He has to tell his brother he needs boundaries for his comfort and understand that no matter what his brother says, establishing this dynamic is better for both of them in the long run. It may be hard to tell someone you love that you can't be around them as much as you want right now, but you have to do it for the sake of your health. 

Now, in regards to your question about how they treat each other, I think we get a good hint of what their conversations are like in the final part of the good ending!

We see Saeran and Saeyoung bickering, squabbling as siblings do, fighting for the very last word… and it’s sweet. That tells me their relationship is on the mend and things are moving better than they were before.

I like to think they tease each other, playfully, but it took them a little bit to get to that point because it's hard to tell what's pushing too hard and what's pushing just enough. Saeran and his brother are just like that, though.

Teases who poke fun at other people and that's true in any timeline where they're allowed to be healthy and happy. Dry sense of humor, sighing, and snickering at dumb jokes. That's Saeran. Bad jokes, the silliest meme you've ever seen made by a man at peace who loves to fish, and smiling ear to ear because you're free. That's Saeyoung.

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Arvin x Reader One shot

A/n: back again and most likely disappear had this in one of my drafts hehe hope you enjoy!! before you read there are mentions of a person unaliving themselves so slight trigger warning ‼️

You met Lenora at school sitting in the lunchroom all lonesome,you walked over to her and had stares like daggers when you made your way to her. She looked up and all she could do was stare at you and your bows in your hair with your nice smile as you placed your things on the table and sat across from her, “hi, im y/n, what's your name?” she asked as Lenora was in awe of your kindness, “im Lenora…you sure you wanna sit here?” she asked as you nodded, “yeah, is it okay if i sit here?” you asked as she smiled, “yes, it's very nice to have someone here,” she said as you two talked about anything. Lenora loved how she would spend time with you and she had even explained as to why she was all alone.Her family was such a talk around here, they had gone through so much. The time you had with her was nice. In the beginning you only saw her in the lunchroom, after school you never got sight of her. As time went on you found out why she sped on home, there was this group of boys who would tease her about herself and how her brother arvin had a special relationship according to them and no evidence at all of what was going on.

“They just got nothin better to do,” she explained and you fully believed in her word, “i believe you, those dumbasses probably have it worse that's why they say words that aren't true,” you said as she nodded as you and her walked out of school, “the good thing is they stopped, but it really scares me sometime,”

Out of nowhere this boy walked up to you two, “lenora i thought i told you to book it once the bell rings,” he spoke looking at you then her, “i know, but- oh god where are my manners, y/n this is arvin my brother and arvin this is probably my only friend in this whole school,” she said as you nodded, “hi, sorry for taking her away for a little, just wanted to make sure she was getting home fine,” you explained to arvin as he just couldn't keep his eye off you, “i-its okay sorry, its just i get real worried, it's nice to meet you y/n,” he said still stern as he was he walked back to his car as he looked over at you two talked, “well i'll see you later yeah?” lenora said, “yeah don't worry i'll probably see you at church at latest,” you suggested as she nodded having a better idea, “you know what, what if you come for dinner saturday, that way you can sleep over and we can go to church on sunday,” as you nodded, “Really? You sure?” you asked knowing her momma was strict about it. She was more sure than anything, her momma knew that she had no friends, but after hearing so much about you she was more than happy to have you over and spend time with them.

The time you had with the Russell family was like having another family. You only had your aunt who took you after your daddy died in the war. You didn't have a mother, she left you with your daddy after having you, so you had more in common with Lenora and her folks than people thought. This also gave you time with arvin on a personal level, he liked you since the minute he saw you, he felt what his daddy felt when he saw his momma. 

“Now come on, lenora wont mind, if anything she will be happy we got together,” arvin said as you walked along the sidewalk reading your book, “oh arvin you are such a tease, you do realize when she sees us together she seeing those damn bells ringing,” you smirked as he smiled, “oh honey you ain't seen nothin yet, you will hear those bells ringing i will be marrying you,” which made you look up, “you are one crazy boy,” he said placing a kiss on your cheek, “only for you sweetheart,”

When Lenora killed herself, you found her in the closet looking for her, she wasn't feeling too good for church so you brought her medicine to feel all better, “now where could she be? Lenora! Girl, where are you-” you opened the door and saw her hanging by the rope, your heart was clenching and it only took you a moment to react, “Oh my…Arvin! Help! Please!” you repeated over and over, arvin ran as quick as he could and saw you screaming for his sister, took him a moment to react too and help you get her off the rope. All you remember was there was so much screaming. Lenora was the last person you would think to do this. 

Which leads you to where you are now, you and arvin got married even after everything that happened to arvin you stuck with him. You two both had terrible lives, but now you were given the chance to live the way you deserved after everything. In a new town where no one knew yall. You bought a house together and worked jobs for the time being and just saw how life would treat you. 

You weren't feeling too good lately so you called out of work for a couple days, “you sure you're feeling good? Why don't I take you to the doctor, even better call him here hon,” you nodded, “im okay it's probably the flu arv, just go to work, i'll call you if anything happens, yeah?” you assured him as he nodded, he kissed you goodbye and headed to work hoping you were okay. He hated when you got sick he worried so much it had reminded him of his momma and especially Lenora. He knew you were not capable of doing such, but being sick just reminded him of awful memories. 

He hurried on home with some medicine and some soup hoping it made you feel better, he walked in and started calling your name, “y/n honey i got some soup and some stuff that will-” he was cut off seeing you laid out on the floor, he was quickly to panic trying to wake you up as you got out of the state you were in, “arvin, what happened,” you said looking around your surrounding seeing you had been on the ground, “you were just on the ground like you was dead, what- did someone do something? What happend?” he said, still quite panicked, " I was just getting water, that's it,” you said as he picked you up and he called the doctor. 

The doctor ran all the tests insisted by arvin wanting to make sure everything was okay, once the doctor walked toward arvin he was quick to stand, the news he had just heard was far from his mind than anything he expected.

He walked back to your room as you sat in bed reading your book, once you saw Arvin you were quick to put it down, “so? What is it arvin? Do we have to start praying,” you stood up as he was quick to hold you sitting you down, “no honey, well maybe, it's all good were havin a baby,” he spat very happy, “you serious, oh my arvin, were havin a baby, oh arv,” you said tearing up, “hey hey, it's all good news, i married you for a reason, i ain't going nowhere, we are havin this baby,” he said as you looked over at him as you shook your head, “oh arv it's nothing like that, it's just…lenora, she would be here,” you said as he hugged you, “i know honey, but hey, if we have a girl we can name her lenora,” you nodded very happy, “we can oh god we can,” you both were over the moon and emotional all in the same boat not wanting this moment to be over. You worked so hard to be where you are, you were both thanking god, even arvin.

[florencetypemaniacs]

Please dear author, what would ROs reaction be to MC falling asleep like in the tale, with a kiss of true love to awake them, but........RO's kiss didn't work? 💔

💛 Marcel

When you didn't wake, all Marcel could do was force his breathing, because if he didn't, it would stop. His heart broke into a million pieces. You two weren't meant to be in the fates, but he was going to save you. He couldn't stop caring. He couldn't stop loving you, no matter what this meant. He tried to smile, gently moving some hair out of your eyes.

The eyes were still closed. 

"Don't worry, love; I'll find a way to break the curse if it is the last thing I do." He spoke softly in your ear, his voice clear and determined. 

🧡 Margaret

Margaret's body shook as she sobbed. From the moment she realized she loved you, she believed God or some kind of fate brought you together, like in the fairy tale books her mother read her as a kid.

But this was real life, and those were stories. There were no happy ever-afters. She failed you, and her body sagged against yours, her forehead touching your own as she kept whispering.

"Im sorry." Over and over again. 

❤️ Owen

Usually when Owen was upset, it was anger that quickly followed, but as he watched your eyes stay closed, all he felt was sadness. Of course, you didn't wake up. 

How stupid do I have to be to think I deserve love again after....

Owen didn't want to think about him; he just sat there, cradling your head as rare tears ran down his cheek. 

💙 Rosemary

She rubbed soft circles in your hand, her tears flowing freely. As stupid as it sounded, she hadn't believed in true love since her ex, but that all changed when you came into her life. 

You made her believe again, and now you were gone—worse, then death—hell, in death she might be able to visit you. You were in an endless sleep, and she was awake. Alone and awake. 

She laid down beside you, closing her eyes as tears still poured out of them, hoping sleep would take her to you by some miracle. 

🩵 Tai

Tai was about cold, hard facts—something that was hard for him when it had anything to do with you. You were everything to him. He loved you. It scared him to death, but he loved you, and it wasn't meant to be by fate.

When the kiss didn't work, he felt like he couldn't breathe until he kissed you again. In a different angle, on your forehead, then on your cheek, until he realized he was crying. 

He didn't know what to do, and he hated it. It was worse than being wrong. He shook his head, holding you close. He was going to wake you up no matter the cost because maybe he wasn't your true love, but you were his, and that was a fact.

💚 Zane

".....no....no...." Zane whispered. 

All Zane felt was fury. You tricked him. Somehow you tricked him. Was this your plan to make him fall in love with you and then leave him....to what....break him? 

He got up and started pacing, pointing an accusing finger at you with your eyes still closed, mocking him. 

"You said... you said we were going to be together forever. You said you loved me! You liar! I love you! Why can't you love me?" He screamed, his anger not at you but at himself. 

He never knew what love was before you, so was it all a lie? Was it all some kind of story that people made up to make themselves feel better? Zane put his head in his hands, his mind racing as he questioned your relationship.

It broke him.

[defodisturbed]

Mastermind - Recoms x Singer!Recom!reader

(A/N: heyy... hey.. im back :3. im sorry for leaving for SO LONG im dealing with a lot of personal stuff right now but im really trying to write more. i want to get faster at typing and i also needa feed my children. also most of this fic will be exposition and the events leading up to the climax like im not even joking its so long. hope yall enjoy this one. mwah) (and yes I based the songs on Taylor Swift and if you're gonna be in the replies being hateful, gtfo my page (kindly))

What if I told you I'm a mastermind?

And now you're mine.

I had always hid my true past from my teammates. Practically everyone. I only really had a journal, and even that was locked away under my rug under my bed. Nobody knew it was there, and nobody could access it without waking me up or making some kind of noise. It was a sacred book to me. I could talk to... something with it. I could express my feelings of wanting to go back to the way things were, but never wanting to leave Pandora. Never wanting to leave my friends. And never wanting to leave my lovers.

I'm a recombinant for the RDA. When I died in my human body, they had my DNA and were already growing my new body to be revived. I have my memories of my past life, and it was awesome. Until... my mom found out she was drafted for the mission on Pandora. I, being the best kid ever, took her place. My fans were scared for me, and tried to convince me not to. They'd heard it all, how dangerous Pandora was. Especially for a singer with no military experience or knowledge. But I accepted my fate. For my mother. For my family. I had siblings back home, and with me going on tour all the time, I wouldn't be able to take care of them if my mother was gone. So I accepted the fact that I was most likely, if not definitely, going to die on this mission.

And I did. My family recieved the news, but also learned about Project Phoenix. They were relieved to know that their kid was going to be revived, just maybe not the same.

-----

"Hey, ma. How're you?" Prager asked as I sat down at the table. It was lunch at the cafeteria. They pretty much just fed us protein-filled slop most of the time. Rarely, they would throw a cookie in there if it was a holiday on Earth.

"Oh, it's going alright, baby. Thanks. Hey, can I ask you a question?" I replied. Prager nodded and leaned in. "Do you think you could ask the Colonel if we could go out in the forest today and just... explore? He doesn't know this, but I actually have some science friends and they showed me some fruits and animals that we can harvest and safely eat. I tried some and Pandora food is good. Like, really good. I wanna surprise the team, and you know Colonel can't say no to you."

Prager agreed and once the Colonel sat at our table, he immediately started.

"Colonel, I was wondering if we could go out into the forest today and just have some fun. Explore, fuck around in some river or something?" Quaritch looked at Prager and gave that ONE sigh. (A/N: its giving "go get my purse") "Fine. But we ain't bringing a baby viperwolf home because Ja wants one." He glared at Ja. He was always the one to see a stray dog and say "please please pleaaaaase mom can we adopt it??" as a kid.

I silently thanked Prager for doing my bidding as always.

-----

We were out in the forest, going over the rules we've memorized by heart now. Once the Colonel finished up, I immediately took off. I was so excited to get some nice food that I didn't realize the cliff drop below me. I was suddenly falling, the wind rushing past my body and feeling almost painful as it hit my face and went away so fast, over and over again.

I dived head first into a lake. The drop wasn't that bad, I realized. Alicia was first on the scene, peeking over the dropoff with a worried look on her face as she hoped to God I wasn't dead. I waved my hand up at her and called out.

"Get down here, this is so fun!! Don't be afraid to get a running start either!" my voice echoed. "Are you okay??" she shouted back. "I'm amazing!!"

Alicia ran over to the others and told them to watch her. She embraced her inner child as she ran as fast as she could and leaped off the cliff. She felt the wind rush past her face as I had, and splashed in the water with me. The rest of my team ran over and looked. We were... fine? Lopez was next. He gladly jumped and plooshed in with us. Then Prager, Zhang, Walker, Warren, Mansk, Lyle, Fike, and finally... Quaritch. He took a chance and jumped.

We were playing and splashing each other with water as we finally relaxed for once. Of course, we had fear of predators. But we didn't care as much anymore. We were playing like kids and it felt so good.

-

After we dried off and got back to the forest, I took off again. This time, more careful. I found an abandoned basket in pretty good condition and took it with me to collect fruits and veggies. I collected some yovo fruit, some other stuff I didn't know the name of but still knew was safe, and finally it was time to get some meat. I was looking to make some nice Pandora burritos for everyone. I found a nice bow and some arrows, perhaps forgotten by a young hunter excited to show their family their haul.

While I was gathering food, one of my favorite songs got stuck in my head while I was thinking about my life back on Earth. I started humming... then singing the lyrics... then full belting the long notes. I didn't realize Lyle was near, close enough to hear but far enough to stay hidden. He'd never heard my songs because he was in the military before I even debuted. I'm sure he was confused who I was singing.

I got some hexapede meat, some meat from hard fruits, and I also took down a lone viperwolf. I put the stuff in the basket to bring home.

-

"What the Hell is all of this? What've you been doing this entire time? Why do you have a bow? Did you encounter a native?" Colonel asked. I said I found it and saw no booby traps so I took it. I explained that my friends at the lab wanted some samples so I got some for them. Obviously it was a lie, but I couldn't spoil the surprise.

He allowed me to take my findings and harvest home. I thanked him and was so excited to make him and our team a good meal for once.

-----

I got out my cutting board and my cooking knife and started chopping. I cooked some of that chicken-y stuff and some of that fruit. I thanked Mansk in my head for teaching me these things.

-

I radio'd everyone to come to my room. I said I had a surprise for them. "I swear to God, if we get there and you're on the bed naked again I will... actually not be mad." Lyle said back.

"This isn't that kind of surprise, Lyle. Just get over here!"

Once they all were in the room, I retrieved a tray with foil over it. The smell wafted into the room as I uncovered the gift. They were all so surprised and hypnotized by the burritos.

"For you guys! You deserve it. Take one, I insist!" I squealed. They all grabbed one and a paper towel and with the first bite, they relaxed their tense muscles and rolled their eyes back. They hadn't had a good meal like this in a good, long while.

"Hey, Y/N, what song were you singing in the forest? You were really loud... must've been one of your favorites or something. Is it on Spotify?" Lyle asked as he finished his first bite. My eyes widened. "You... heard that?"

"Yeah, I heard a little bit too. It was something about a new romantic or something like that." Zdinarsk added. "Yeah you were singing about something related to rings or something too." Mansk said. "I don't know, I could be wrong, but last time I checked, you weren't married." Lopez said.

"Um... can we forget all of that happened? Sorry, I was just getting carried away and I sang some of my own songs and-" I was soon cut off by the Colonel saying, "Wait- your songs?"

I soon shoved them out of my room, begging them to let it go and to not talk about it again. I closed the door behind me as I slid down the metal wall to the floor. I took some big, deep breaths and checked under my bed to check if my journal and hard drives were still there, even though I'd been with them the entire time. Phew! They're still there. I thought.

-----

The next day, at dinner in the cafeteria, I brought my bag with me and sat down with everybody acting like nothing was wrong. Conversation sparked when someone asked, "So what's everyone planning on doing tomorrow? Ardmore gave us the day off." I said I was planning on bingeing my favorite show wrapped in my blankets with my favorite foods. They all agreed and said they would be training, sleeping, exploring, hooking up, or something fun/relaxing.

I suddenly got a call from my friend on the phone. I knew it was something important, because my phone was blowing up with texts while she was waiting for me to answer. I hurriedly ran off to my room for privacy, forgetting my bag full of personal stuff. Including my hard drives. Zdog decided it couldn't hurt to see what I carry around all day, so she started digging. She found my sunglasses, hairbrush/comb, an unopened soda can, some loose candy, and... hard drives?

"Hey does anyone know why Y/N has hard drives in her bag?" Z asked. Nobody knew, so she decided to take them and pass them out for them to watch later. It for sure wasn't porn, Ardmore would've never let it through. It's gotta be some home videos or something.

-----

Zdog and the others piled onto the bed in her room and uploaded the drives onto her computer. They were numbered. They watched the first one and it was a black screen with the sound of a crowd cheering. It was around an hour long. They watched as a... stage appeared. A big one. It was a stadium full of people. A concert? Then appeared the person performing. It was... you. Some already made the connections, while others took a little bit. You were performing for around 70,000 people along with cameras so everyone could watch it live. they watched all of the hard drives all throughout the night, only falling asleep when they went through all of them.

-----

You were in your room, hanging up the call. turns out it was just some cute guy flirted with her at a restaurant. Only then did you realize that you left your bag in the cafeteria. You immediately went back for it, checking everything was there because people just love to snoop. You realized all of your hard drives were missing. You soon were banging on the Colonel's door, asking if he'd seen anybody take them or had anything in their hands. He wasn't there. You knocked on everyone's door and nobody answered. You went back to your room, wailing into your pillow. Those drives were the last thing you had of Earth. Of your entire life before the military. Soon enough, you cried yourself to sleep. In the morning, you slept in. It was your day off, after all. You heard a knock on the door. You recognized it as Z. You opened the door and there she was. She came in without an invite and immediately sat on your bed.

"Y/N. I am... just so sorry. When you left your bag in the cafeteria, I looked through it when I should've respected your privacy. I found hard drives and took all of them to my room and the rest of the team and I watched all of them. In order. All the way through. I am so sorry for disrespecting your right to privacy and watching the videos that were obviously private." She closes her eyes softly, looking down toward the floor with her hands twiddling in her lap. Too embarrassed and disappointed with herself to even look at me.

"Z, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have been so secretive. Especially with the ones who love me most. The truth is, I was a very rich and famous singer on Earth. You probably know that by now. So does everyone else. But I'm trying to work through it and not be embarrassed to share my past."

"It's not your fault. I love you. We love you. You never have to hide anything from us, but if you don't want it to be shared, that's okay too. So... can we listen to some of your songs?" Z laughed. I said yes an radio'd everyone to come to my room. I had a surprise.

MWAH I love yall!!!! hope you guys enjoyed i've had this au stuck in my head since like last year :) 💋💋

@dyingofcookies ITS HERE BESTIE

[haveihitanerve]

Avengers: Age of Ultron is my favorite movie, and I am not going to attempt to explain it because I really don't think i can, but here are some of the best quotes from Ultron that I feel the need to share

“Language” “I know, just slipped out” “for gosh sake watch your language” “thats not going anywhere anytime soon”

“Oh look theyre all lining up” “yeah well, theyre excited” fucking obliterates them

“Somebody wanna deal with that bunker?” *destroys it* “thank you.”

“Guys, stop we gotta talk this through.” *shoots all of them* “it was a good talk.” “no it wasn't.”

“Please be a secret door please be a secret door please be a secret-.... Yay!”

“Thor report on the hulk.” “the halls of val halla are filled with the screams of his victims.” *bruce, buries face in hands, steve looks at the roof like lord give me strength, nat looks at thor like what the hell, thor anxiously scrambling to save it and does not succeed*

“Boss?” “Oh no hes the boss, I just design for everything and pay for everything and make everyone look cooler.”

“Hes fast and shes weird.” 

“How is he?” “Unfortunately hes still barton.” “Oh how terrible.” 

“I don't have a girlfriend.” “that i can’t fix.” 

“I've seen her flirting. Up close.” *walks away* *wait a min-*“w-what do you mean up close?” 

“No more renovating.” *in the middle of battle* “you know i think ill make the dining room a little space for laura.” Nat: no one eats in a dining room

“That the best you can do?” “you had to ask.”

“The city is flying, we’re fighting an army of robots, and I have a bow and arrow.” 

“Steve, he said a bad language word.” “You tell everyone about that?” 

“Very very interesting theories. I have a simpler one, you're all not worthy.” *groans, clint sticks tongue out at him*

“Cap doesn't like that kind of talk.” “you know what romanoff..”

“Aw junior. You're gonna break your old mans heart.” “Clearly you've never made an omelet.” “he beat me by one second.” 

“Go to sleep go to sleep go to sleep.” *hulk: roars* “...sorry.”

*steves face when clint greets his kids*

“We would have called ahead but we were busy having no idea that you existed.” 

“Do me a favor. Try not to bring it to life.” *tony: this bitch again? Why are you around every fucking corner you overprotective stalker*

*tony throwing darts* *clint throws a bullseye while hes taking his darts out*

“They're a mess.” “yeah. But they're my mess.” 

“Don't take from my pile.” 

“Just an old man who cares very much about you” tony being the only one to call fury Nick. (and maria hill but in a different movie so wtv)

“What were you napping?”

“Cap you got incoming.” *cut to steve trying to breathe on a car* “incoming already came in.”

“You get hurt, hurt ‘em back. You get killed… walk it off.”

“Evacuate the city.” *no ones moves* “get off your lazy asses.” *fires gun*

“🎶Ooooooh i'm decrypting nuclear codes and you don't want me to.🎶” (tony drop the full album im waiting)

“You're not a match for him cap.” …. “Thanks barton.” 

“Cap can you keep him occupied?” “What do you think i've been doing???”

“Beep beep.” 

“Stark is right.” “oooh its definitely the end times.” 

*everyone's faces when vision lifts the hammer*

“Iron man the ones hes waiting for.” “thats true, he hates you the most.”

“You cant save them all. You'll never-” *gets yeeted off city* “Ill never what? You didn't finish!!!”

“Keep up old man” *lifts bow* “nobody would know. Nobody. Oh last i saw him and ultron was sitting on him. Yeah he’ll be missed. That little bastard. I miss him already.” 

“Fury you son of a bitch.” “Whoo! You kiss your mother with that mouth?” 

“Its terribly well balanced.” “Well if theres too much weight you lose power on the swing so..” 

“Romanoff. You and banner better not be playing hide the zucchini.” 

“I was born yesterday.” 

Thor: says something serious and meaningful. Steve:...But if you put the hammer in an elevator..” Tony: itd still go up. Steve: elevators not worthy

“Im gonna miss these little chats.” “then don't go.” 😭

“Besides this one” *smacks tony* “theres nothing that cant be explained”

“That man has no regard for lawn maintenance.” 

“I will miss you tony.” 😭

“You wanna keep staring at the wall or do you wanna go to work? I mean, it is a nice wall.” “thought you and tony were still gazing into each others eyes.” 

Just them having casual conversations mid battle. I love. 

Its just that they are able, allowed to be a team, to be friends, we get to see them bond, not hate each other, we get to see serene team moments, we get the original six, its just them having a lot of fluff even with all the angst

[darlinggeorgiedear]

Sorry to bother you !!

But few days ago i was watching a documentary talking about the Elizabeth bowes Lyon aka the Queen mother and while I was listening I saw a comment caught my attention basically saying that queen Mary of teck said this;

"Elizabeth took after her dad, Margaret took after the mother, George was a nice man, what he ever seen in her I'll never know kid,"

Is it true?? Im dying to know.

But if this turned out to be true THAT is so shady 💀😭 dang!

You aren't bothering me! And oh gosh, I would say Mary for sure didn't say that, if Queen Mary calling someone "kid" wasn't convincing enough.

Also, I don't think Margaret took after the Queen Mother. Even though the Queen Mother wasn't always the sugary sweet person she seemed to be, she was definitely amicable and was in many ways a "people person." Margaret was pretty high strung and complicated.

I do think Queen Mary liked Queen Mother. I don't think they were overwhelmingly close, but Mary definitely saw her as a good wife, and great asset to the family. She in a lot of ways, was Mary's vision of an ideal wife (traditional, strong, and kind) for any of her sons.

Comments under videos are often wrong, yet said with such confidence and passion. Reminds me of the prevalent rumor that Queen Mary left her son, David, candle sticks in her will.

[llycaons]

ep 32 (3/3): BRUTAL

in the book it was said that wwx was 'half-dead with fear' when he heard this. I loved the phrase

oh NOW you're telling him to play? lwj you're at some kind of crisis here you don't know WHAT you want

on my first watch I remember so clearly thinking 'oh teehee I've seen the spoilers there's nothing to surprise me only to GASP when this shot happened

I can tell it's su she's stupid upper lip and stupid nose too. he has very distinctive lower facial features

I was fully sobbing by this point so idk if I have any more commentary beyond *whimpering noises* look how terrified they are...that's their big sister

pretty fucked up that he's a jiang sect member

oohh, this shot is devastating. seeing him from across the battlefield, in this one instant, they're together again, and then-

this shot KILLS me. I know I talk a lot about wwx but jc loves jyl so much. he loves her so much. that's his big sister too. part of the reason the estrangement is so painful is because I get it. I get his anger and his violence and his bitterness. I don't agree with how he handled it, but I understand it

ohh this shot

honestly it looks a little wonky. there have been several shots this episode that have looked awkward. but who cares

I've been looking forward to the postres arc because it's not as relentlessly sad but I'm going to miss jyl SO much. look at her. she deserved the world

this is another line that slaughters me. she refers to wwx earlier at jinlintai, but this can also refer to their entire relationship. despite his closeness with jyl, wwx has often avoided true vulnerability or honesty with her. especially recently, for political reasons - stepping back, offering formality, running off, slipping away, bouncing her questions back to her. even with this person who's the closest he has to a mother, he couldn't sit down with her and entirely be with her in the way she wanted them all to be. and that hurt her! she wanted that closeness for all three of them, for the rest of their lives. oh jyl im so sorry you all couldn't make it in this lifetime

and this. fuck

oh! that WAS the brother of the archer! it was mentioned in the book but I couldn't remember if it was canon to here as well. ugh, how appropriate it was for revenge

HEY. DON'T PLAY THAT

I've seen a really angry post (in the lwj tag no less) trying to put this situation into a modern context and it characterized wwx as super careless and irresponsible and uncommunicative, who was directly the cause of jyl running into 'a gang fight' and 'getting caught in the crossfire' idk it was super defensive of jc punching wwx but I think it misrepresented a lot of details unfairly. like this is a really complicated and painful situation for EVERYONE that wwx does bear some responsibility for, even if it happened due to other people's decisions besides him. and also he was trying to save innocent people from being murdered, idc how little info jc had about the state of wwx's core he DID know that and he simply didn't care or like try to extend some sympathy and support for him? that's like one of the most understandable goals...ever

anyway saying that wwx was directly responsible for jyl's death is simply untrue. she chose to come to the fight (HOW DID SHE GET THERE??? HOW DID SHE KNOW ABOUT IT??? WHERE'S HER GUARDS??? UNIMPORTANT). she came to look for him, sure, but he never wanted her anywhere near it. she was injured by something they thought was under wwx's control, true. but she died because she chose wwx over herself

that's not something he had any control over. and to hold that over his head when there was nothing he could have done once he realized what was happening, for someone who already bears a lot of guilt for simply surviving/being loved/being taken off the streets, it's just a horrifically cruel thing to put on him. and hey, grief doesn't always make sense. but I understand completely why wwx did what he did next. and after he comes back to life, it's even more obvious how much he needs his close relationships to be with people who don't hold anything over him or blame him for simply being alive or demand things from him that he simply can't give

oh....

wwx kills this guy with his bare hands but like. who cares, right? no focus is on this man at all, curiously. jc could have blamed him instead. but he seems wholly convinced that every single bad thing that's ever happened to him was wwx's fault. to be fair, they don;t know about the second flautist yet so it doesn't look great for him, but also...you know how much your sister and brother loved each other! dude!

anyway i feel wretched

personal hightlights (what a joke. no this was a good episode)

god. "I want to stay with him a bit longer" and jyls' face when she sees wwx

madam jin breaking down and sobbing once she leaves the room

the heroic music setting wwx up as the villain of the story is a REALLY good touch

white paint on wwx's face <3

the cry-laughing

all of his lines on the roof but especially the ones about how he has to be careful who he hurts even though anyone can try to kill him with impunity and 'your hatred and admiration both come so cheap!' + the significance that has for wx

pulling out the arrow and killing the archer with it was BALLER

jc holding jyl in his arms is an unforgettable image

[straywrds]

My mom has always told me that falling in love is a scary thing, it makes you sick. Ive seen people around me fall in love and become miserable, which is why im genuinely scared of it. its like a phobia that has settled within me, whether its genuine love or receiving affection in general—i feel like whenever i feel myself catching feelings for someone i become paranoid, because it takes years and years to move on, to become what you were before falling in love. Im always just so scared to fall in love with the wrong person because once your heart chooses someone against your will you cant do anything about it, and you cant go back. It terrifies me, you know, why is such a simple word carrying so much fear and hardships when its supposed to conquer all?

i fell in love once and it made me sick of myself for years, even though my mom kept telling me that it wasn’t real love—because to her she says when you love someone truly, you shake and tremble and the color of your lips turns pale, silly description, i know, even though i didnt experience those things while loving that person, he invaded my thoughts wherever i went, everything reminded me of him and i associated every little detail to him, i knew i was in love with him even tho we never talked that much and ive only loved him from afar, but now my mom’s words keep ringing in my head every now and then, is love really that sickening and terrible? Why do some people become better humans after falling in love, and others become so…. miserable and broken? Even though they went through the same exact story? What is love exactly? That is my main question, what do you feel when its love? How do you know its love?

Hi dear! I know you've sent this ask some time ago but it seems like it got lost in my inbox—I'm really sorry...

However, when I saw it yesterday, I decided to take a few hours to think it over and to figure out what I should tell you. Because love is so complicated and love is deeply different for everybody, after all.

But it's entirely normal to be afraid of it, because love, the true kind, changes you. So I get that you'd want to "avoid" it and prevent it, but the thing is, you cannot stop true love. You can't help it—if that person is someone you're meant to fall in love with, then you will fall in love with them.

A truth that is even uglier? Is that love, when it's kept secret—when you put your heart on a leash for a reason or another, when you don't speak it, it turns toxic within you and it poisons you. It's very hard to deny it, so I don't think I would advise you to ever do that. It doesn't mean a love will be possible and it certainly doesn't mean it won't hurt you. But true love is the kind of love that you never regret. You'll never feel like you shouldn't have fallen in love. Even if it doesn't work out.

I don't know if any of this makes sense..

While I think mothers can sometimes have valuable insight, I don't think she can tell whether you've been in love based on the description you gave. But how you spoke about your experience reminded me of limerence, which is kind of love but also just a different type of it. Because if you didn't know him, didn't talk to him, then it might really have been limerence. And it's fine, it's very human, and it doesn't make your feelings invalid. It's something you could look at if you feel like it <3 It might help you sorting some of your thoughts?

Love changes people... but everyone is a little bit miserable about it at one point or another. It's unavoidable. Even if different people went through the exact same things, they're still different people with different emotional baggage and personalities so they will not have the same reactions, and it's normal, it's expected. But love is difficult—so even when someone makes you feel like it is not, it doesn't mean they actually find it so easy. Do you understand what I mean?

I would love to explain to you in details how it feels to be in love but it's too complex and too intricate. But as I said, you'll never regret it, even if it ends badly. Even if it never starts. And it's not original but it's really how it is: when you're really in love, you just know it. It's kind of violent, especially when you meet your soulmate. But you'll never want to unlove them, not even if they don't love you back or if they don't want to be with you. They'll become a tangible part of your heart and that will never be undone. Of course you'll fall in love with people who aren't your soulmate but it'll feel different and may end badly and leave you bitter. Still, there is something for you to gain in this, even though it leaves you damaged forever.

I think what I'm trying to say is—love is something you'll feel deep within you, not just in your heart but in your soul. It's not something another person can decide for you, although I'd recommend to keep an open mind when it comes to it, too. (In hindsight, I should have listened to my friends who, for years, pointed out how inadequate my ex was). Just trust your instincts and trust your mind and your body.

But avoiding love is impossible. If it's meant to be, it will be. Just keep faith in yourself and know that you'll feel it when it's there. Because you will, ok?

Focus on yourself, and take it one day at a time always 🤍

[waltswhatever]

as much as i hated him, sometimes i really miss my dad on nights like these

for such a long time it felt like he was the only person i could cry in front of and not feel horrible for doing so

my mother doesn't know how to handle me when i'm upset, she kind of just tries to change the subject in an attempt to cheer me up, and i feel so shameful being vulnerable to my boyfriend, i feel like i can't cry in front of him, that i just. shouldn't, that im not allowed to be upset because of how i've hurt him before even if that's not true

i miss you, dad, i'm sorry i spent your final months so angry with you, even if you deserved it

i just want a hug from someone stronger than me again who will lie and tell me it's gonna be okay and that i am pretty and that i'm loved and that i can stay there as long as i need to and that they don't care if im getting their shirt wet

i wish i knew how to have that with mom, i wish i knew how to help her, her coworker feels like her son more than i do, do i get my emotional estrangement from her? why is it so much easier to bond with strangers?

i miss you dad, i miss you, so much

wherever you are i hope you're learning from everything you may and may not have done, and i'm sorry to say i've made some of the same mistakes, but god, i kind of understand now how someone gets to that point - i never told mom, but she found out on her own

how you work on something for years and years and years and you're just not as happy as you make them and you feel like giving up

how your body stops working right all too soon and nothing feels good and your partner tries, but it just isn't enough, and you are so fucking unhappy all the time and it feels like it's all your fault

take me with you, i'm so tired, i wanna go back to my family dammit, i know mom loves me but it's different, we're like ghosts sharing an apartment

i miss my dad so much. i shouldn't but i do, i'm 20 fucking years old, it's been almost 8 years since you died, why does the pain only get worse? anticipatory grief?

where will i go? will i see you, and will we both be suffering if that's where you ended up? would it be worth it to finally see some kind of comfort again after so long, still suffering, but finally with a sense of familiarity and instinctive comfort, or will it just be like looking at a bloated corpse in a wooden box and a funeral that i barely remember all over again?

i'm so tired dad, i'm so tired, please tell me it's going to be okay, somehow, i'm so tired

you said before if someone wants to kill themself, you let them - were you speaking from your experience? would you have said the same if you knew i was suicidal? i don't know if mom ever really talked to you about the cutting, im sorry

you'd be ashamed of me now, i think, i'm nothing like what you expected - not your baby girl, not even a girl, not skinny, not pretty, or traditional at all

please, god, if you somehow saw aunt liz, tell her i miss her and that she always did a great job when i was a kid, that she was so kind to take us in after the fire on such short notice, that she was always so sweet and patient with me, even when i was a brat- i wish covid hadn't robbed me of my goodbye to her

the more i look back on the past the more i realized how much i dealt with so young and why im this damaged - a kid didn't need to go through all of that

i know you guys didn't intend for that, but god, that house was a nightmare

a flea bitten 11 year old kid just running around willy nilly in filth, trying their best to live a normal life, but never really being able to share too much about what's going on at home, being taught that i can't have people over because of the state of the house

it was awful and yet i miss it

a dirty mattress was somehow so comfortable, i wasn't in nearly as much pain as i am these days, i still cried, but eventually i got to fall asleep, at least

i still eat beefaroni straight from the can when i don't want to cook, or just plain cheese - how was scavenging in the filth better than this?

i have so much now and the more i think about it the more it feels like i've just lost everything over time

please, take me with you, i'm so tired, or at least somehow, please, tell me, let me see you again, tell me that it's going to be okay, tell me what to do, you and mom were never the life lesson type but i could really use that right now dad

you were supposed to always be there for me, i know you might not've actually wanted to make me, but everyone said you were a loving father- i still believed it in some ways, even if you weren't always nice to me for my mistakes

i just am so exhausted, you were 63 - how did you manage 3x this amount of life without giving up sooner? did you give up, was it just a really slow death?

i'd rather make it fast than do that, i'm old enough to purchase the means to my end

it'd be so easy to just put one through my head - i bet i could still figure out the safety mechanism without reading the instructions, from what you taught me

i never thought i'd miss the fact that one of my parents tried that hard to bond with me and be somewhat present in my interests

even if it was sick

i'm so pathetic, i'm 20 fucking years old crying about a man nearly a decade dead, it feels like grief never ends

please just give me a sign dad, please

[stayxlix]

Hiiii! I haven't been on Tumblr since July more or less and I could read the last two chapters of OTDE only recently. I can only say this story just captures me in and I'm devastated whenever I finish to read a chapter lol. Each chapter is better than the other (and longer, but I'm not complaining 😅) and I didn't expect the smut parts at all after you robbed us the first time 😂😂. I really liked the part in which Felix started thinking about the others and how his relationship is unique with each one of them. It felt realistic and I loved it. I'm just a bit sad about Hyunjin because I feel bad for him and at the same time I can't stop seeing all of them as a big family and this bond between them almost feels wrong, even if they're not relatives so it's all good in the end. Now I'm curious, how strong is their bond? How much did they get close? I really felt the stung in my heart when the reader realised they have matching rings lol. I also LOVE Minho so much and if it weren't a Felix x reader I would have shipped her with him 😂. I also have some theories of mine about her mother and I'm so curious about her story.

Can't wait to see how the story will go on, but I promise I'll be here patiently, ready to read another masterpiece of a chapter of yours. Sorry for the long review; when I start writing I never know when to stop 😅😅. Bye bye 👋

hiiiiiii👋 omg thank you so much for taking the time to catch up and share your thoughts.💕 i’m thrilled to hear that each chapter has kept your attention...and that you don't mind the longer ones (hopefully you don’t mind long responses either😂😭).

even though i don’t want you to be devastated (please forgive me lol) i’m really happy to hear that the story has evoked such strong emotions in you, and that you’ve allowed it to reach you in this way.💕omg and im so sorry to randomly come in with the smut like that, hopefully you weren’t too shocked.😂😭 at first i wasn't going to include any because it was a bit out of my comfort zone to write it myself, but im growing more comfortable with writing it and i really like being able to explore those intimate moments between lix/mc..so i think i’m glad i decided to include it eventually (hopefully you agree lol😭).

i’m so glad you enjoyed the exploration of felix’s relationships with the others, this really means a lot because its such an important aspect of the story to me.🥹 as for hyunjin…ah i totally understand your mixed feelings. it was definitely challenging to write the relationship between them and i guess i knew from the start that it was going to be kind of a risk choosing to take that path (i really like exploring the gray areas of emotions/connections so it might have been a bit self indulgent to go this way with their bond lol). i’m sorry if this turned you off in any way, but rest assured i can promise you they are definitely not related (lmao😂😭) and i hope this doesn't prevent you from seeing them all as a big family moving forward. i really love that you're curious to find out more about the dynamic between them and the extent of the past they’ve shared, and i promise more will be revealed in time.🥹 thank you again for sharing your thoughts on this with me, i really do appreciate it.💕

what you said about minho brought such a smile to my face because i have the biggest soft spot for him (and if i’m being totally honest i’d definitely ship mc with him too if the story wasn’t felix x reader😂). i’m also super intrigued about your theories surrounding her mother and i’d honestly love to know what they are/if they end up coming true.🤭

thank you again from the bottom of my heart for your thoughtful feedback and for being such an engaged reader.🥹 you are very kind.😭💕 and i really can’t wait to share more of the story with you as well. your opinion and interest means more to me than words can express, and i’ll always be here if you want to chat more. no need to apologize for the length of your review, it’s what keeps me motivated to write<33 i hope you have a wonderful weekend dear!! much love.🤗💕

[ayamethewitch]

Encanto HC: Bruno Madrigal falling in love with a female s/o who is more young than him would include/ Bruno enamorandose de una s/o femenina que es mas joven que el, incluiria:

(English/Español):

N/A: In This headcanons we are talking about a s/o with 25 years old :3.../ En estos headcanons estaremos hablando sobre una s/o de 25 años.

I really enjoy writting this, enjoy it too 💖🤭!

(English)

•This lovely moment of his life take place after the movie, now he was with the family again, he was happy again,but something was missing.

•He was looking Pepa and Julieta and realize that they have a beautiful "familia", but more important they find true love, with Felix and Agustin.

•For that reason he started think that it was too late for him, like he never gonna find someone special. But that was until he meet you.

•You are Mariano's cousin and you are new on the town when you start living with Mariano and his Mother. The Madrigals made a beautiful dinner to celebrate the relationship between Dolores and Mariano.

• He saw you and almost fainted, he wasn't the most social guy, but he never saw somebody so beautiful as you.

—Oh, you must be Bruno, Dolores talk me about you, im Y/N, ¡your powers are awesome! In fact, all here its awesome, people its so kind, ¡oh, and you family and your casita its so cute!

He just lost in your eyes

—I..im..Bru..Bruno..

—Tio, she already know that...—say Camilo

• He though that he probably just think you are cute. But i wasn't just that.

•You started a beautiful friendship with Dolores and Camilo, so you started to go so often to the house of Madrigal.

• You are always helping others, like if you are one more on the family. Also you were so kind with everyone, and so funny.

•That make you also started talking so much with Bruno, and spend time with him and the rats. You think that he's sweet, and a cute man who could be really interest.

•He show you everything on his tower, and the rats love you so much.

•But he wasn't sure about show you a prediction or something even when you tell that the predictions wasn't a problem to you.

• —Bruno, are you listen me?—you ask, you two are on his tower just talking about life.

He blush

—Yeah,yeah...sorry, im was just looking you..you are so bonita.

Now you are blush

—Rea...really?

Then he just realize what he say.

—I MEAN...¡NO! I DIDN'T MEAN THAT..I MEAN, IM NOT SAYING THAT YOU ARE UGLY, YOU ARE SO PRETTY ACTUALLY BUT...BUT..

You laugh, he was so cute.

He saw you laughing, and he almost have a heart attack, he just feel how his heart almost explode.

•And in that moment was when he realize that he fall in love with you.

—¡WHAT IM GONNA DO! SHE' SO MUCH YOUNG, AND I IM JUST THE CRAZY OF THE PREDICTIONS WITH THE RATAS, OH MY GOD

The rats look at him very confused.

And Dolores hear that very clear from the kitchen.

—Uncle Bruno its in love with Y/N!—she say and Mariano look at her very confused.

—Yeah?...well in that case they have to marry !

—Mariano,amor...that's i doesn't how a relationship work...

•He's gonna started be more nervous around you, blushing a lot when he's talking with you.

•If you say him a compliment he's gonna melt, will start to stutter.

—You look so cute when you smile

And Bruno look just like a tomatoe

—Uncle Bruno, why are you so red? You have fever? Maybe you need one of the amazing Arepas con Queso of Aunt Julieta...—says Antonio very inocent.

•And one day he just can't pretend anymore that he's not in love with you. That he's heart star beating so fast and his eyes sparkling so much when he's looking at you.

•Then he started to ignore you, just a little because he was scared, he was in love and you are so cute, so beautiful so brilliant and so young and he..he was shy, ugly, clumsy.

You already notice that something its wrong

—Sorry, Camilo you know where is Bruno?

—Oh, your boyfriend? Yeah, he is on his tower.

—What?

—Oh, don't tell me that you don't notice that he is loquito por ti...—he look at Dolores who has next to you

—Im a grave—She say making a move with his hand on his mouth, like if she closed a zipper— ¡hm!—and then she go away with his brother.

• —Bruno?—you ask very gentle and he scream

—¡T/N!—He look nervous and he was, because now he knows about his feeling for you and being in love its never easy.— i was about to leave right now, you know im very bussy, ¡Im Hernando and i need to do a lot work—he say putting the hood of his poncho on his head.

—Bruno...

—IM JORGE, AND IM GONNA HELP HERNANDO WITH WORK—Now he have a bucket on his head.

—¡BRUNO!—You scream—so..sorry..i just want to talk—you say now gentle while you take off the bucket and puting on the floor.

—Yeah...you..you are right, we need to talk, dulzura...

You two sit, in front of each other on a couch that Bruno put on the tower now that he was back.

—Bruno...why are you ignoring me? Di..did i something wrong? Or...

—¡No!—he say taking you hands—¡No! I...i..im who is doing something wrong ignoring you...i think that im just...afraid..afraid of what im feeling..

You heart started beating fast.

Could be posible?

—Bruno...—you started saying— Dolores told me that...after he and my cousin started on a relationship, when he's gonna marry with Isabela, she was totally in love with him, even if he's were to be the husband of Isabella and he was interested on her...she was in love with Mariano...—you got up and he did it too, but without separating his hand from eachother— why im trying to say, its that...you can't choose for who you fall in love with...you..understand?

He look at you, you can see a little bit of fear on his eyes. He was afraid of loving you because he spent a lot of his live being "the black sheep", being judge for people about his powers and being feared for others. But now he have the love of his family and more important, now he was in love with you.

—Yeah...i just im afraid and..you are so cute and...—you interrumpted hin with a big hug, hiding your face on his neck, he put on of his hands on your back, tracing shapes with his fingers and with the other on your hips.

You two slowly parted.

—Do you want to go to the town...? Maybe we can...just walk...

—¡Yeah!—He reply with a smile— that would be fantastic...

—Fine..lets g...

And suddenly, Casita move the floor, pushing Bruno and making that you two kiss each other.

He was blush, you are blush and the rats were very happy, jumping and doing a little dance of celebration. He though for a second that you're gonna refuse the kiss, but no, you just put your arms around his neck and he on your hips.

It was a short kiss but very important.

•And after that, all the insecurities just go away, he never though that you feel the same. And of course, there's a age gap between you two, but that doesn't care you, you are in love with bruno and he was in love with you.

•Now, the loco of the rats, have someone on his heart, and its gonna protect and love you for the rest of his life.

—————————————————

(Español)

•Este tierno momento de su vida se situa despues de los eventos de la pelicula, ahora el estaba con la familia de nuevo, el era feliz de nuevo sin embargo sentia que algo le faltaba.

•El miraba a Pepa y Julieta y entonces se dio cuenta de que ambas tenian una hermosa familia, pero mas importante aún, habian encontrado el amor verdadero, con Felix y Agustin.

•Por esa razón el comenzó a pensar que ya era demasiado tarde para el,como si ya nunca pudiera encontrar a alguien especial. Pero eso fue hasta que te conoció.

•Eras la prima de Mariano, y eras nueva en la ciudad ahora que habias comenzado a vivir con él y su madre. Los Madrigal habian organizado una cena preciosa para celebrar la relacion de Mariano y Dolores.

•Él te vio y casi se desmaya, no era el tipo mas social del mundo pero el jamás habia visto a alguien tan bonita como tu.

—Oh, tu debes ser Bruno, Dolores me ha hablado mucho de ti, soy T/N, ¡tus poderes son asombrosos!, de hecho todo aqui es asombroso...la gente es muy amable ¡oh, y tu familia y casita son adorables!

Él se perdio en tus ojos

—Soy..Bru..Bruno

—Tio, ella ya sabe eso...—dice Camilo

•El probablemente piensa que solo le pareciste bonita, pero era mas que eso.

•Habias empezado una bonita amistas con Dolores y Camilo por lo que, comenzaste a ir mas seguido a la casa de los Madrigal.

•Siempre estabas ayudando a los otros, como si fueras otra mas de la familia. Ademas eras amable con todos y muy divertida.

•Eso hizo que ademas comenzaras a hablar mucho con Bruno y pasaras tiempo con el y las ratas. Pensabas que era dulce, y un tierno hombre que podia ser muy interesante.

•El te enseño todo lo que habia en su torre y las ratas te amaban.

•Sin embargo no queria mostrarte una prediccion o algo por el estilo, aun cuando le dices que las predicciones no son un problema para ti.

• —¿Bruno, estas escuchandome?—le preguntaste, ustedes dos estaban en su torre hablando sobre la vida.

El se sonrojó

—¡Si,si! lo siento, solo estaba mirandote..eres muy bonita..

Ahora tu estabas sonrojada

—En..enserio?

Entonces se dio cuenta de lo que habia dicho.

—QUIERO DECIR ¡NO!, ESPERA, NO QUERIA DECIR ESO, NO ESTOY DICIENDO QUE SEAS FEA, DE HECHO ERES BASTANTE LINDA PERO...PERO..

Te ries, el era adorable.

Te vio reir y casi le da un infarto, el se sintio casi como si su corazon explotara.

•Y en ese momento fue cuando se dio cuenta de que estaba enamorado de ti

—¿¡QUE VOY A HACER?! ELLA ES MUCHO MAS JOVEN Y YO SOLO SOY EL LOCO DE LAS PREDICCIONES CON LAS RATAS, DIOS SANTO

Las ratas lo miraron extrañados

Y Dolores escuchó todo perfectamente desde la cocina.

—El tio Bruno está enamorado de T/N!—grita Dolores y Mariano la mira confundido

—¿Si? Entonces deberian casarse...

—Mariano, amor, asi no es como funcionan las parejas...

•El comenzara a estar mas nerviosa alrededor tuyo, sonrojandose un monton cuando habla contigo

•Si le dices un alago, se va a derretir y comenzara a tartamudear.

—Luces muy lindo cuando sonries...

Y Bruno luce como un tomate.

—Tio Bruno, ¿por que estás tan rojo? ¿Tienes fiebre?, tal vez necesitas una de las maravillosas arepas con queso de la tia Julieta...—dice Antonio inocentemente.

•Y un dia el simplemente no puede pretender mas que no está enamorado de ti. Que su corazon no late rapudo y que sus ojos se iluminan cuando te está mirando.

•Entonces el comenzaria a ignorarte, solo un poco por que esta asustado, esta enamorado de ti y tu eres tan adorable, brillante y joven y él...el era timido, feo y torpe. De inmediato sabes que algo anda mal.

—Disculpa, Camilo ¿sabes donde está Bruno?

—Oh, ¿tu novio? si, está en su torre.

—¿Que?

—Oh, no vayas a decirme que no te has dado cuenta de que esta loquito por ti—él mira a Dolores que está junto a él.

—Soy una tumba—dice ella mientras hace un gesto con su mano en sus labios como si cerrara un cierre.— ¡Hm!—y entonces se va con su hermano.

•—¿Bruno?—preguntas muy calmadamenre y el grita

—T/N—Él lucia muy nervioso y lo estaba, por que ahora sabia sobre sus sentimientos por ti y estar enamorado nunca es facil— estaba a punto de marcharme, ¿sabes? Estoy muy ocupado ¡Soy Hernando y tengo un monton de trabajo que hacer!—dice poniendose la capucha de su poncho en la cabeza.

—Bruno...

—¡SOY JORGE Y VOY A AYUDAR A HERNANDO CON EL TRABAJO!—ahora llevaba una cubeta en la cabeza.

—¡BRUNO!—Gritas—lo..lo siento, solo quiero hablar—le dices ahora calmadamente mientras quitas la cubeta y la pones en el suelo.

—S..Si..tienes razon, debemos hablar, dulzura...

Los dos se sientan enfrente del otro en un sillón que Bruno puso en la torre ahora que estaba devuelta— Bruno...¿por que estás ignorandome? ¿Hi..hice algo malo o..

—¡No!—dice el tomando tus manos—¡No!, yo soy el que esta haciendo algo mal al ignorarte...creo que solo estoy asustado, asustado de lo que estoy sintiendo...

Tu corazón comenzo a latir fuerte

¿Acaso era posible...

—Bruno...—comenzaste a decirle— Dolores me contó que antes de que ella y Mariano comenzaran una relacion, cuando él iba a casarse con Isabela, ella estaba totalmentw enamorada de el, aun cuando el iba a ser el esposo de Isabela y el estaba interesado en ella, Dolores estaba enamorada de Mariano.—Te levantaste y el tambien, pero sin separar sus manos— lo que intento decir es que, no puedes elegir de quien vas a enamorarte...¿entiendes?

Él te mira, puedes ver un poco de miedo en sus ojos. El estaba asustado de amsrte por que pasó la mayor parte de su vida siendo "la oveja negra", siendo juzgado por las personas acerca de sus poderes y siendo temido por otros. Pero ahora el tenia el amor de su familia y mas importante aun, el estaba enamorado de ti.

—Si, solo...estoy asustado y tu...tu eres tan linda y...—le interrumpes con un gran abrazo, escondiendo tu rostro en su cuello, el pone una de sus manos en tu espalda trazando formas con sus dedoa y con la otra en tu cadera. Los dos se separaron lentamente.

—¿Quieres ir al pueblo?...podemos simplemente caminar...

—¡Si!—el responde con una sonrisa—eso seria fantastico...

—Bien, vam...

Y de repente casita movio el piso, empujando a Bruno y haciendo que ustedes dos besaran al otro.

El estaba sonrojado, tu estabas sonrojada y las ratas estaban felices, haciendo un baile de celebracion. El por un momento pensó que rechazarias el beso pero no, pusiste tus manos alrededor de su cuello y el las suyas alrededor de tu cadera.

Era un beso corto, pero importante

•Y despues de todo, las inseguridades se habian ido, él jamás pensó que te sentirias de la misma forma. Y por supuesto habia una diferencia de edad, pero eso no te importaba, estabas enamorada de Bruno y el estaba enamorado de ti.

•Ahora el loco de las ratas tenia a alguien en su corazón, e iba a cuidarte y protegerte por el resto de su vida.

[9tzuyu]

enough

notes: uh. Hi? so sorry for not writing for awhile, i’ve had some health issues that i’ve had to deal with. i hope this is okay !! send in any hurt/comfort prompts and i’ll see if i can write them :3.

just reread this and oh my god its so bad im so sorry

warnings: not proofread, rusty writing, bullying :p

🏷: @c-is-writing ‹3

mamma!nat x adopted daughter!reader

masterlist

you knew somewhere in the back of your mind what they said to you wasn't true. you knew your mother loved you, cared about you, would do anything for you. but their words never failed to make doubt yourself and the love your mother had for you.

sure, you got some of the best grades in the school, you hardly ever went out or lied about going to parties. you never got into any kind of trouble, always doing your best to be what you thought to be expected of yourself.

but still, there was a part of you that felt like you could be better, like you weren't quite good enough to be natasha's kid.

"you alright?" your mother's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. you looked up towards your mom and smiled. "of course, why wouldn't i be?"

"i don't know, you just seem off today. i can't quite place it either, so i was just checking in."

"i'm okay, just stressed over homework." you didn't mention the fact that every day you were teased or walked over just for being the black widow's daughter. it was rather ironic to you because if natasha taught you nothing else she taught you how to defend yourself. you just never used it against other people, no matter how much you wanted to. getting in trouble didn’t seem worth the hassle.

"what's going on in your world?" you questioned, redirecting the conversation elsewhere.

natasha leaned over the kitchen counter, scrunching her face as she thought. "not much. i miss having you around though, it seems like you've always got school work and i don't see you as much as i used to." she pouted, sticking out her bottom lip.

you tensed at the mention of school, although you tried not to let it show.

fail.

natasha furrowed her eyebrows. "what's wrong?"

"nothing," you rushed out. "i just remembered i have a huge test tomorrow so i'm going to go study for it!"

you snuck past natasha before she could catch you, heading straight for your room. you locked the door behind you just incase.

it wasn't your homework you were stressed over, it was the insane amount of other people's homework you felt pressured to do. you were one person doing a workload for ten.

chemistry, english, history, physics and geometry were on your get-done list for tonight.

you cracked your knuckles and sighed, finally realizing just how overwhelmed you felt. you couldn't back out now though, you'd already told everyone you'd do their work for them.

but the nagging worry that you weren't good enough for natasha crept back into your mind not long after you'd already started.

'you'll never be good enough,' you remembered your peers saying. and now you'd heard it so many times it had to be true, right?

natasha couldn't love you as much as you wished she did. you still had to prove yourself worthy of her love and you had yet to do that. and you were beginning to feel as if you never would.

the familiar pain could be felt in the back of your throat. there wasn’t any delay when you started to cry.

all you ever wanted was to be enough for someone to love. you weren't enough for your birth parents, weren't enough for the many failed placements you had before, and you definitely weren't enough for those around you at school.

it was one thing to think you weren't enough for natasha, but if the words ever left her mouth it just might kill you.

a knock was made on your bedroom door and you quickly wiped away your tears before answering.

"yeah?"

"can i come in?"

you hesitated before turning off your lamp and unlocking the door. natasha noticed the way you immediately turned your back towards her when you let her in. something was wrong and now she was determined to find out what it was.

"kinda dark in here, don't you think?" she joked.

"maybe." you mumbled, making your way back to your bed.

it was a mess. papers were strewn everywhere, pencils and pens were scattered across your blanket. you wouldn't be surprised if a few ink stains could be seen on your sheets.

you flinched when your mother turned on the lights. her worry only grew when you continued to refuse her stare.

"just have to finish up school work, sorry. um, was there something you needed?"

"you could look at me when you're talking." she spoke, voice firm enough to let you know she was serious.

your eyes finally met hers.

"sweetheart..." natasha cupped your face, wiping her thumb across the tops of your cheeks. "what's going on? talk to me, you know i'm here."

you sniffled, desperate to bite back the second wave of emotions threatening to spill.

"do you regret taking me in?"

natasha frowned, "no, not at all. you're my daughter, nothing could ever make me regret you. where is this coming from?"

you shrugged, "it's just kids at school..."

"what do they say to you?" natasha's eyes ran cold and you couldn't help but feel that it might be directed towards you.

"that i'm not enough, that you don't love me. they also force me to do their work. i'm sorry, i know i should be able to stick up for myself but-" your mother cut off your panicked rush of words.

"hey, hey, no apologizing. you have nothing to be sorry for. i love you so much, so much that i can't put it into words. and i promise you're enough, you will always, always be enough for me." natasha brought you in for a hug, letting her eyes roam the papers on your bed for names that weren't yours.

natasha kissed your forehead and brushed away the stray tears that fell down your face.

"i love you," you whispered through a shaky breath.

"i love you more, sweetheart. let's forget about school for now, okay? you won't be going back there. we'll work something out like we always do."

"mkay mom."

[bentosandbox]

hoshi headcannons GIMMIE [pwease im starving]

woah how did you know i had some (more) bubbling in my head recently after reading the mh collab (not that she appears in it :( but…yato does) also perfect timing since hoshi module Y is about to drop just dropped on EN

read it NOW!!!!

ok so . shes basically like an old salaryman to me just look at that bow (salute emoji) and with all the salarymen traits that come with that like terrible work life balance(well they are all office workers so. all have this but shes like, THE salaryman you know) nomikai addict (kind of real) and a super yes-man except..nobody dares to even make her do something she wouldn't do herself, and not out of fear(well maybe a little for some) but out of respect (probably saved every officer at least once), and being a senior (since she's been with the lgd since day 0) she could technically treat people like they're beneath her (true) but instead she goes super formal-mode the gapmoe(?) is so endearing its like . suddenly thought of the mc from vinland saga whos like ^_^ im so harmless i wont harm anyone (havent not caught up with it for very long though idk if it's still like that)

she likes to (Module X spoilers I guess) idk roleplay being a pushover??? in that story she tl;dr comes to the rescue of a colleague who is like 'ty oni-sis but you should just leave me here 🥹 and she's like (tanks like a champ getting her ID card cracked in the process module.jpg) and goes 'haha sorry that request is a bit too hard why not i uhh help you apply for a bonus instead' it was here i was like ok hoshichen (in that order) is dead to me she would never yaoitop chen !!!!!!!!!!!!!! basically could be left.jpg but is right.png most of the time

she's old… but how old?? I guess touhou type of old…? the other two are like kids to her at times, maybe sometimes she does an old man act to get them to stop quarrelling like sitting at the window and with a coffee and reading something and telling them 'ok im just going to sit here until you two sort it out ok take your time' (they instantly stop)

her and chen: i think i mentioned this somewhere before but chen = wuxia protag hoshi = her mentor (in some capacities since technically wei was her [absent] mentor) she has all the qualities you would want except like in standard mentor fashion, a little conservative (i really do like this…flaw? because to be content with how the LGD operates, it makes you wonder how things were like before…)

her and swire… i like to think sometimes swire brings That Day up and hoshi is just ^_^ i see! and then after chen is gone maybe swire has some difficulty cleaning up the mess and at times takes out the badge to have a 'what would mysterious officer x do' moment and one time hoshi catches her doing that and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh omg forgot what i wanted to write here

her and lin: man…………….they didn't seem that hot in ch7 but man the potential interactions of an ex-underworld lackey and current underworld heir where is my food hg where are the ingredients i will cook the food myself but i need the ingredients to start with that one interaction was not enough

(quick spoiler warning for monhun collab) basically only the el gatos and rathalos got isekaid so the village is all higashinese and not like a MH village so you get sprinkles of higashi lore

i bring monhun collab up because yato and noir used to be an assassins but they quit da life and yato mentions 'killing your own kind', talks about her last hit she flaked out on but that that another assassin simply killed the mother and daughter duo she was supposed to kill so i was like damn what if hoshiguma also…?? (they are all oni and we all know she's ex-yakuza) or what if… she was the one that had to do yato's job, the hoshi/yato yaoi would be UNREAL but i dont think HG has the guts

also she and yato are ace because uhhhhhh i said so my rhodes my rules no joke i had wanted to do a hoshiguma dating sim for this year's april fools (with a bunch of other ops too but she would be the 'main' route even though there's no 'good' end) but then uhhh time issue anyway don't forget to set the LGD trio's voices to cantonese

[mallowstep]

I know it's been a hot minute so Im sorry if it's weird coming in so late, but reading the new Fire/Tiger stuff (which is oh. Such an excellent exploration of some really awful stuff in a way that's respectful but realistic in a way that can be hard to find) I've been thinking about the Mosspelt fic.

It's just like. I'm obsessed with how everything in it's about her, you know? How she feels when she thinks everyone's ashamed of her, how betrayed she feels when Shade told Misty about Frogleap, the troubles of being such a young mother. Like I love how much of the story is about her and not at all about Frogleap!

He sucks obviously and I'm glad he died, but as someone who's seen some shit, I really love how your stories always have so much thought put into the characters who are actively going through abuse. So thank you for that, it's always a treat to see how you tackle heavy issues

thank you so much for the kind words.

a large motivating factor for tiatt was that i felt a large portion of fics in the warriors fandom about grooming, etc., did not have a very realistic portrayal. i had this building frustration after seeing several fics in a row where the victim was always uncomfortable and always knew things were wrong and never have complicated feelings about their abuser, and...as an abuse survivor, it's really frustrating to me, because that's just not what it's like for me, or anyone else i've talked to.

n.b. not saying it CAN'T be like that. if you're an abuse survivor, there's no wrong way to feel. you didn't deserve what happened to you, and however you feel about it IS valid. i personally have never heard someone say, "i had no contradictory feelings going on at any point," but that does not mean that's impossible.

similarly, please do NOT think that fics where this is "uncomplicated" are inherently bad, or that you're bad for reading/enjoying them. i feel like my audience probably knows by now that we don't judge people for what they read, but i want to be explicit, because i do understand the desire for that kind of story. i do occasionally even enjoy that kind of story.

there's no wrong way to write about things, and this is DOUBLY true if the author is a survivor. i want to be clear: there's no wrong way to write about this, and if you disagree, please remember that there is very likely a trauma survivor near you who will be hurt if you start telling people they're doing things "wrong," because that's how they cope.

do not bring discourse into this.

sorry, i just had to get all of that out of the way. i want to be very clear about this, because, well, anger-brain side is ready to go Off if people start judging survivors for their coping mechanisms again. i'm talking about how i feel and what's important to me, but that's not because this is the only way to do things.

but as an abuse survivor, that sort of model victim is exhausting for me to face. i've complained about this before: you are either too angry or not angry enough, or the wrong kind of angry or the right kind of angry but people are uncomfortable because they realized there was never a right kind of angry. you are either too forgiving or you need to forgive to heal or you're moving on too fast or you're stuck in the past. the cultural idea of a victim is exhausting.

frankly, that's why i've started calling myself a survivor. didn't really resonate with me until i needed to separate out from how a lot of people want victims to be.

so anyway, y'know, if it helps some people, great, but it's exhausting to me, and so i just...want to write stories that reflect how i feel.

i've rewritten these sections several times, but i guess what i'll say is.

sometimes you get an ask about why a given character isn't angry, and you stare at it, and you try your best to explain. you say, "i don't know how to feel angry anymore. i can't feel angry anymore. i grew up in an environment where i wasn't allowed to be angry."

and you sit there because there's a numbness where you would be angry, if you knew how to feel angry, because you're tired that people don't get it, but you don't feel like that, so you just hope you explained it right.

and then you get another ask saying, "yes, i know how that feels, thank you for saying it," and it makes it worth it.

which is to say, asks like this mean a lot to me.

<3