#nesta was to be the 'breeding mare' of her family. that was what she was raised to be. in order to take care of her sisters
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things you'll be hard pressed to learn about nesta from nesta so i am telling you, pt 1:
the grooming she was made to endure at the hands of her own mother to prepare her for marriage, first in the hopes of securing her family's place in society and then in saving her family from poverty
#aka phase one in the death of an openly soft-hearted nesta#her mother did everything in her power to shape nesta into ~wifey material~ at the expense of a healthy relationship with her daughter#and also at the detriment to said daughter#and as much as nesta had been taught that her only worth was what she could do for others#particularly her family but also for men (i.e. a future husband).#in some ways. there is freedom in fulfilling this sense of duty that was practically beaten into her from a very young age#if she can just save her family. if she can protect her sisters.#nesta was to be the 'breeding mare' of her family. that was what she was raised to be. in order to take care of her sisters#to save them from the fate of a loveless marriage of a cruel husband of the scorn of her parents and of society#and when she failed again and again to be successful in securing this future for all of them#she was subjected to her mother's ire. her father's disdain. her sisters' unspoken disappointment.#the last thing her mother said to her before she died was that she was born wrong.#that she was a waste.#and then every person she met after that said essentially the same thing in one way or another#and i think that this is the exact way that nesta views herself#privately of course though it wouldn't be difficult to see this if anyone bothered to pay attention#and even though she is no longer shackled to the human's way of life and those societal expectations attached to it#she still upholds the expectation that she must be the one who sacrifices in order to keep her sisters safe#that's why she hated rh.ysand [disgust]. because he took away f.eyre's choice which meant that nesta didn't keep her sister safe#she was made fae and humans hate fae and there was no chance she could save her family#i have a lot to say about the misogyny that is rampant in this stupid series but it's also deeply connected to who nesta is as a person#why she is the way she is#and how i will use it to unwrap her. to see her through her healing process.#desperately desperately itching for an emerie. for a gwyn. perhaps i will drabble some things to make up for it#they are so integral to nesta's growth and healing#a sisterhood that chose her and that she chose#one that she can love right because she never could with her blood sisters#emerie and gwyn love nesta so much just the way she is and i love them too for it!!!!!!!!!!
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a lil a.cotar oc idea
amaya was born several years after her brother rhys and was always chasing after him. in the skies with her wings, on the ground with her daggers, even after his band of friends when she could finally keep up. though she was quiet, she never wasted a word, her sharp tongue and wit compensating for what most mistook for introversion. from an early age it was clear she had similar powers to her brother's, with an affinity for shadow magic, the ability to call wings at will, and daemati power.
To be plotted with specific muns: when she first met tamlin, she didn't think much of him. it took many years for something to grow between the two. eventually, tamlin came to visit night as much to see her as he did to see his friend in her brother. they kept the budding relationship a secret. my father won't understand, he claimed. it will be different when my brother ascends. she believed him. she waited. then the plot happens.
alternate: amaya knew of tamlin as her brotherâs friend and it was that friendship that prompted tamlin to try to save her during the plot.
on her way to visit rhys in illyria, amaya and her mother were ambushed by spring sentries. the two were separated but she was found by tamlin, who winnowed her to the prison and used magic to put her into a deep sleep. when she awoke, a fiery pain spread through her back and she realized her wings had been taken. tamlin wrote her a note, apologizing, saying it was the only way she could survive the onslaught. his magic could hold the illusion of her appearance on another's head, but her wings ... those would have to be real. he was too late to save her mother.
betrayed, she wandered into the prison, hoping the wards would call her father or her brother. instead, she found the harp. it's song calling her to pluck a string, which called forth a portal she fell through to avallen. in prythian, amaya, princess of night, died alongside her mother.
upon arriving in avallen, king morven understood the potential of her power and adopted her into the donnall family, eventually giving her to the autumn king as his consort under the name lorin. she was docile, acted the part of meek breeding mare, all the while ploting how to return home to prythian. she endured the autumn king's abuses and played the loyal wife with a smile. she only gave up her plans when her son, ruhn, was born (the spitting image of his uncle). she could never leave him behind, especially not with his father. she tried to shield him from her husband as much as she could.
when the rift is opened by nesta, amaya felt the call and fell once more into her homeland, centuries after her disappearance. lost and seemingly alone, she searches for news of her son.
#potentials.#â give my love to all who remember me â ⏠( ooc. )#(( honestly i just write these to gauge interest lol ))#(( havenât decided yet on if it was friendship or romance that saved amaya during the plot but the rest is about the same ))
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Chapter 11 - Nesta and Azriel have "the talk" (TW: SA in this chapter regarding Rovena's history)
Terror like no other incapacitated Azriel. A deep rumble of thunder rattled in the mountains. The words fell about them, the sentence worse than any weapon. Nestaâs eyes matched the storm, wide and churning, a power that brought the world to its knees. He waited for her hysteria. For her joy. For her refusal. For anything.
She tilted her chin, confusion nibbling at her features. âSo, what?â
âA mate bond is sacred, Nesta. Theyâre incredibly rare.â
âWhatâs the point of it?â
Azriel swallowed. âNobody truly knows. A mate is your equal in every way. Itâs a bond where the strongest offspring are also produced.â
Disgust wrinkled up her nose. âIâm to become Cassianâs prize breeding mare, is that it?â
His pulse surged. Azriel would never let that happen. âNo. Absolutely not. This your choice, Nesta. I had to tell you because you didnât know. I donât want you throwing away a mating bond when some wait their whole lives for one and never achieve it.â
âAnd mates are always happy?â
She was surely considering it to even ask that question. Even this relationship, Azriel couldnât have. Wasnât worthy of. The Cauldron had cursed him for his beginnings. It would take the best thing in his life. But he would be honest. Nesta deserved honesty.
âSometimes yes. Sometimes no. Rhysâ parents werenât. Rhys and Feyre are.â
Nesta turned his face sharply towards her so that she could examine him. âWho decides mates?â
âThe Cauldron.â
The pinched expression of worry gave way to amusement. Nesta tossed back her head and laughed. âThe Cauldron? Iâm to be ruled by the Cauldron? The Cauldron that broke my body and held me under until I became this. The same Cauldron that I clawed the heart out of and drew blood from?â She laughed again, scrubbing at her face as she marched to the window. âDid you not consider that itâs punishing me? That it has paired me with the one male who makes it his personal mission to upset me every time we are in the same vicinity?â
Without breaking her steel spine, Nesta faced him, all determination and grit. âTell me what happened.â
Nesta would not hear of keeping a distance between their bodies. Refused to even entertain the idea of them not touching while Azriel relayed the dayâs events. Nesta sat against his chest as they leaned against the headboard, blankets wrapped around them watching streaks of lightning hitting the mountains. Her hands weaved into his, drawing them against her body. It still amazed Azriel that she could touch his scars without recoiling or pretending they simply did not exist because it was easier that way.
She didnât want anything to be clipped or censored to protect her. So Azriel told her it all, every horrid thing anybody had said â himself included. And when he was done, Nesta took it with an unflinchingly clear mind. He expected nothing less from her.
âIt doesnât seem like much of a choice to me.â
âOf course, you have a choice,â Azriel said, squeezing her. âIâll fight tooth and nail for you to have that choice, even if itâs not me you choose at the end of it.â
She shifted slightly to twist her face towards him. Brows raising in surprise. âYou think I would pick Cassian over you?â
âIf a mating bond is rejected or severed then the males can go mad from it.â
Nesta nodded. She had her thinking face on; Azriel knew it well enough. Her eyes would drift up towards the ceiling and her lips would part slightly.
âSo that I understand: It is my choice to accept the bond or not. If I accept this rare bond then I will be utterly miserable because we have nothing in common except arguments. During your conversations where everybody has, once again, told you and Cassian that Iâm horrid and tearing apart your family, he did not speak up in my defence.â When Azriel tried to speak, Nesta pressed a gentle finger to his lips. âBut if I donât accept the bond then Cassian will go mad.â
Nesta had managed to raze through the issue with her uncompromising clarity.
âIt doesnât really seem like a choice to me; it feels as Iâll be pressured into accepting it and be miserable or Iâll have to face the consequences. Once again, it is Cassian who is prioritised rather than me.â
Azriel shook his head though her words rang true. Phrased that way, there was little choice. Despite the sanctity of a mating bond, it did not guarantee happiness. Nesta and Cassian already did not see eye to eye. He had already hurt her feelings many times or had not tried to stop anybody else from doing the same. Azriel had little doubt that Cassian would protect her from harm from external forces; heâd proved that against Hybern. But from their family? There had been no instinct from Cassian to protect her from the people he loved. Never. Over and over, Nesta had been belittled and judged with no support. Cassian could never turn against his family. It was the one difference between them; Cassian had never had love so clung to it whereas Azriel knew he could survive without it.
The inner circleâs concern had been over the effects of a rejected bond on Cassianâs well being rather than how Nesta might suffer if she was compelled to accept it. She would be miserable. Down-trodden. Was it any different to an arranged marriage that a female had no say in? Had Mor not been saved from that fate so she wouldn't become the same shell as Eris' mother?
âAnd I am to understand that Elain has no choice either? That whether she likes it or not, she would have to be Lucienâs mate simply because the Cauldron decided that they would make a strong child.â There was a quiver in Nestaâs tone â not sadness, but pure anger seeping out of the gilded cage sheâd managed to trap it in. âDid Feyre have a choice really? Could she have rejected a bond with the most powerful high lord of all time and face no consequences?'
Azriel kept hold of her. He knew that anger. If Nesta could winnow, heâd stake money on her meeting Rhysâ jaw with a fist. Then Lucienâs. And then Cassianâs. Her sisters did not seem to realise that Nesta would wage on their behalf.
âThere is an illusion of choice. Say it how it is, Azriel.â
He brushed his nose against her temple, kissing once. âThatâs not true. If you donât want the bond then I support you. I will always be there to protect you from any fallout. I will follow you wherever you want to go.â
Azriel hated that she would need protection. That she would need support. That a female could not reject a male without fear of retribution.
None of it was fair. Not to her. To him. Or to Cassian.
For a long time, Nesta remained in silence. The storm fell away, clambering over the mountains as it went. Only the sounds of the rain still pattering against the roof and windows could be heard. Faintly, Azriel could make out the shuffle of his motherâs steps as she also went to her bedroom at the opposite end of the house. She had always been a night-owl.
Nesta nestled herself against him. Even through her clothes, Azriel could feel the tremor of her heart. He cradled her, wondering if this might be the last time that heâd have the chance. Â
âYou are all I will ever want.â
A few words and Azriel was undone. All of the tension that had weighed heavily on him since that revelation had spilled from Cassianâs lips was shattered. He felt as if he could breathe again. Nesta was choosing him. He had needed to hear it. Needed to hear that she was choosing him. Didnât it mean more if she chose him of her own will without a predestined force guiding her?
It made it all worth it. Azriel would deal with whatever came their way. With Nesta at his side, he would manage.
Their clothes were peeled away in a silence that was only punctuated with the sounds of their lips meeting. He pulled the leather tie from the end of Nestaâs hair, letting her braid fall away so golden hair cascaded down her bare back.
For a moment, Azriel savoured the view; the female he loved, bathed in moonlight, in his home, choosing him. It was enough to bring him to his knees. And it did.
He went to his knees before Nesta, arms snaking round her body to hold it to him. And Azriel thanked the Mother for bringing Nesta into his life. She was a blessing. One who had seen the dark parts of him that he had tried to hide and never wished him to change. Azriel would devote himself to Nesta; give her his heart, his love, his everything.
Her hands caressed his face.
âMine,â she whispered.
Azriel did not want a release. Had no need for fast, banal fucking. Not tonight.
He pressed Nesta down to the blankets. As his lips met hers, he entered her body. The gasp she emitted was a holy song that was only for them to know.
Their bodies moved together in slow waves of intimacy. Azriel barely wanted to peel his skin from Nestaâs, he wanted all of her, every soft moan or stroke of her hands against him. Her fingers grazed against his broken ribs and battered face. A testament to what heâd endure so they could have this.
They made love without hurry. There was a whole future ahead of them.
***
Nesta had never been so cherished. When she had tried to emerge from the bed, shadows had tangled around her body. They tugged her back onto the mattress then Azrielâs eyes opened. Heâd murmured a ânot yetâ and his shadows rolled her to him. A leg clamped over hers then a wing swept around both of them. The sleepy shadow singer burrowed against her. The warmth of his body had Nestaâs own eyes drifting back closed.
Their sleep came like waves, one waking and the other pulling them back to a sleepy embrace. The grey morning didnât entice them from the covers either.
A light knock on the bedroom door, roused them both. Nesta tugged the blankets up over her body, even though she had slipped her night gown back on to fend against the chill. Azriel groaned into the pillow.
Rovena entered, carrying a tray of breakfast and tea. Despite Nestaâs sheer mortification that she was currently in bed with Azriel in his motherâs presence, Rovena did not bat an eyelid. She settled the tray down on the bedside table. Elta streaked in after her, pouncing onto the bed to wrestle against a shadow.
Then the female crouched down by the fireplace where she began stacking logs and packing it with kindling.
âDonât do that,â Azriel said. âI can do it.â
Rovena gave him a smile over her shoulder, but continued kindling flames with a striker. âLet me look after my son this once.â
Nesta pressed a hand against Azrielâs chest to stop him from rising. She had the sense that Rovena needed to do this; needed to take care of her son after being denied it in his childhood.
After Rovena had gone, Elta remained. Her claws swiped at shadows who seemed to delight in driving the cat to insanity. She grappled on the bed with them, staggering over Nestaâs ankles, trying to seize one.
âWho is Joar?â
Azriel drizzled honey into a bowl of porridge then gave it to Nesta. âHe came here yesterday?â
âFor a few hours over lunch.â
âHeâs a good male,â Azriel said, offering no more.
It wasnât right for her to press or to be nosy, but Nesta was unable to help herself. âHe brings her food.â
Azriel nodded. âShe doesnât like to go to the village. Joar brings her whatever she wants. Heâs compensated for it.â
Nesta had a feeling that the male would do it without payment. Heâd limped through a storm yesterday for Rovena.
âWhat happened to him?â
Faeries didnât scar. Or at least they didnât from most injuries. The only marks Azriel had on his body were the ones on his hands and faint ones on his wings.
Azriel pinned Elta with a hand. The black catâs tail flicked and she chomped at the flesh between his thumb and finger. âThatâs what two wars and a Blood Rite can do to a male. When the legion was blasted by the Cauldron, Joar was on the outskirts. One of the lucky ones.â
Nestaâs stomach roiled. She had known the Cauldron was about to do something that day. Had felt something terrible coming, a shadow that she could not name. And it had been Cassianâs name she screamed, knowing that shadow was coming for him. Perhaps a part of her had known deep down that the Cauldron had tied them together. But she did not want him. Did not want that male. Nesta deserved somebody who put her first.
âWill you tell me what happened to your mother?â
The cat scratched Azriel hard enough to draw blood as shadows wreathed the hand she fought. His wings had become stiff like they had been carved from stone.
âI only mean so that I do not say the wrong thing,â Nesta continued. âI asked yesterday if you were also from the village. I donât want to upset your mother again by not understanding her pain.'
Nesta nudged his arm, encouraging him to eat too. His mouth twisted. It was a difficult conversation to have. It ripped open wounds that he never wanted to acknowledge.
âI love all of you,â she reassured him.
âThis village is not aligned to any camp. Itâs too far north. Each year, the lords rotate and one will come in Spring to recruit any worthy males for their camps. It hurts the village because they need strong males for fishing to survive. When my father came, he found the males lacking. Iron Crest has always been one of the cruellest, taking only the biggest, strongest â non-bastards.â Azriel sucked in a breath. âBut that year he took a liking to my mother instead. She was only sixteen, training to be a seamstress alongside her mother. He declared she was the most beautiful female he had ever seen and invited her to Iron Crest. He was much older than her, nearly six hundred and married, but handsome - and charming when he wanted to be.â
Nesta prised the catâs claws from Azrielâs hand. Heâd let it shred the skin. And she knew exactly why - because he needed pain to get through this story as a distraction. She kissed the swollen scratches.
âMy mother politely declined. He still pursued. Her own father was dead. She had no brothers. Only her mother to support her decision. That female encouraged my mother to go to Iron Crest where there were more opportunities than this frozen wasteland. I think maybe she knew that sheâd not be able to protect her, that it would bring danger to the village to refuse a camp lord.â
âHe took what he wanted when he wanted. And then she fell pregnant. My mother was only ever allowed to feed me, no comfort, then after three months, she was swapped out for a wet-nurse and forced back to work. She couldnât go home because I was trapped there. Joar was her friend. He was away on a fishing trip when my mother was taken to Iron Crest. When he found out⌠He threw himself into training. Managed to be selected for a camp named Hill Gate, entered the Blood Rite to become a true warrior. I think every drop of blood heâs ever shed was a step to get back to my mother. When I was dumped in Windhaven, Joar managed to steal her away. I think he knew she wouldnât leave Iron Crest if I was trapped there too.â
Nesta kissed his hands again. It was the only comfort she could offer for such a tragic story.
âJoarâs brother and his wife kept my mother safe. Mostly she lived on their boat so that he would not come under suspicion while he remained at Hill Gate. He was discharged after the war so could return here. I will always owe him for saving her life. My fatherâs wife⌠she was cruel to my mother. Rather than take out her hurt on her husband that heâd sired a bastard, she took out her rage on my mother. Her sons too.â Azriel scrubbed his face with his hands. âRhysâ parents visited the camp to inspect it. His mother saw what was happening to my own. Realised that her child was somewhere in Iron Crest, seized from her. When I was dumped in Windhaven, she saw the resemblance to my father, realised I was the son of the downtrodden seamstress whoâd mended her dress. She was the wife of a high lord but took pity on my mother. If she didnât take me in at Windhaven, Iâd likely be dead.'
âAlright,â Nesta said, stroking his face. âI know enough now. We donât need to-â
âThank you,â said Azriel, relieved that it was done.
They stayed in their silence, drinking the last dregs of tea from the pot even if was barely warm.
âSorry.â
Nestaâs heart cracked. âDonât say sorry. Donât ever apologise for something you had no control over.â
***
They spent another five days at Rosehall. It was the most time that Azriel had ever spent there. His mother would not hear of it if they offered to cook for her. She guarded the kitchen sink better than any sentry too, still claiming that they were guests and she liked being able to take care of them. Both he and Nesta were likely a stone heavier too, because she plied them constantly with food and snacks lovingly made â and Nesta felt too guilty to ever say she was full.
It made his heart swell to see how comfortable both females were with each other. There was a conversation to be had one day with Nesta about her own mother. Sheâd been reluctant to speak of her, but had said how different her own was to his. He was glad that Nesta found comfort with his.
Most evenings, they could be found sewing together with Nesta learning simple garments like a tunic or adding her own decoration to dresses his mother had already made. Joar made appearances most days too. Nesta would listen to his Illyrian folktales of fishermen who became heroes or their warrior, Enalius, with a fist propping up her chin at the table and a cat in her lap. Or sheâd follow his motherâs instructions whilst learning to make Illyrian dishes, taking care so that the spiced pastries were perfectly folded and even.
Nesta had seized the culture that Azriel despised. She saw only the good in it, drew out all the light, when he saw only the savagery. Illyria could be good. They were proud people, but in the north, their hearts were filled with love.
On the rare few hours where Rosehall wasnât swallowed by a tempest, all four of them took walks to show Nesta the landscape. It was still bitterly cold and often the wind battered them, but the fresh air worked wonders â at least Joar claimed it did. Often Azriel had to brace his wings to stop his mother and Nesta from being swept away in a gale.
It was worth it to see Nestaâs face the first time she saw the sea.
As the sea rushed along the shingle, Nestaâs face broke into one of wonder. Azriel heard her sudden intake of breath when it had emerged on the horizon with great waves pulsing forwards. The visibility was poor due to the grey clouds hanging low in the sky, but it didnât bother Nesta. She probably would have stood there for hours, not caring about the cold that numbed her fingers if Azriel let her.
Azriel had encouraged his mother and Joar to return to the warm while he remained with Nesta. It took some tempting, but eventually, Nesta sat in his lap while still gazing out at the ocean. Her cheek was cold against his face. Her vigil remained.
âArenât you freezing?â
âNo.â Her eyes were wide and unblinking. âBefore all of this happened, I wanted to go to the Continent. It was the sea crossing that stopped me. I heard stories of ships wrecked by it.â
Strange to think of the life that Nesta could have had without their intrusion to it. Azriel could not imagine a mortal Nesta, setting off alone to build a life in the Continent â yet at the same time, he could. Sheâd had an unbreakable will when they had met, never showing her fear or backing down even as a mortal.
There had never been the opportunity to grieve for the life she had lost; to mourn the opportunities that were now out of her grasp. Nesta had been too busy caring for her sister in her moment of need to lament the life that Prythian had stolen from her.
Azriel would give her the life she deserved. Give her those opportunities that had been taken from her.
âIf you want to go there, Iâll take you there.â
âI exist where you are,â she said, curling her body closer to his. âWhere you go, I follow. Do you ever wonder how many people have done this? Just watched the sea curling against the shore? It feels like it calls to me. A song only I can hear.â
âThe sea is as powerful as you are. Joar always says that the song of the sea is one that none can deny,â he said â and looking at Nesta, Azriel had to agree.
Her fingers were like shards of ice, her lips almost blue with the cold, but she begged for just one more minute watching the sea before he winnowed them back to the sanctuary of Rosehall.
Azriel soaked her cold feet and hands into warm water, before peeling off her stone-cold clothes and putting Nesta into his own thick tunic to stop her shivering.
There was something about seeing her in his clothes that sent his pulse shooting upwards. It was oversized and he so rarely saw Nesta in black that it had Azriel drawing Nesta in for a long kiss.
âRhys has asked me to go back to Velaris. Do you want to stay here a little longer or?â
âI go where you go.â
@theleafpile @wannawriteyouabook @mis-lil-red @rarephloxes @loysydark
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The biggest Eris Vanserra moments from ACOTAR -ACOSF: What the fuck is happening in Autumn (Part 1)
I was originally very confused about how people seem to LOVE Eris all of a sudden, so I went back through the books to find out. SJM has definitely sprinkled the bread crumbs for some massive Eris revelations - will he have a redemption arc? does he even need to be redeemed? What are his secrets? Why did he leave Mor? Why did he protect Lucien? Why did he want to marry Nesta?
Cassian and Feyre voice doubts about Eris that really had me thinking about all of his scenes in the books:
" Beron studied his son with a scrutiny that made some small, small part of me wonder if Eris might have grown to be a good male if heâd had a different father. If one still lurked there, beneath centuries of poison. Because Eris ⌠What had it been like for him, Under the Mountain? What games had he playedâ what had he endured? Trapped for forty-nine years. I doubted he would risk such a thing happening again. Even if it set him in opposition to his fatherâor perhaps because of that."
"You know what a monster your father is and want to usurp him; you act against him in the best interests of not only the Autumn Court but also of all of the faerie lands; you risk your life to ally with us ⌠and yet you left her in the woods."
I went through all five books and pieced together the most telling Eris moments (they are all below the cut)
What I gained from this exercise was a few observations
Eris may have a moral compass - he curbs Beron's and his brother's bad behavior, and he stick his neck out to help in the war . He also seems to genuinely care for his soldiers. Eris pushes back against Beron, the oldest and most terrible High Lord, even when it results in punishment
Eris is playing a long game here, and it isn't limited to just him being high lord. We still don't have the full story on Mor and Lucien : what were the larger forces at play? Why did he buy Mor time? What did he show Rhys and Mor to convince them to trust him? Does he care for Lucien like a brother? Is he just a part of the schemes?
The Lady of the Autumn Court is definitely a big piece to the Autumn Court, Lucien, Helion, and Eris puzzles (Here is a list of her moments!)
See my other compilations of Character moments here: Lucien Sass, Nessian Mating Bond (Pre-ACOFAS), Cassian + Words of Affirmation (ACOSF), Lady of the Autumn Court
A Court of Thrones and Roses:
Tamlin tells Lucien's Story
"Lucien is the youngest son of the High Lord of the Autumn Court.â... âThe youngest of seven brothers. The Autumn Court is ⌠cutthroat. Beautiful, but his brothers see each other only as competition, since the strongest of them will inherit the title, not the eldest. It is the same throughout Prythian, at every court. Lucien never cared about it, never expected to be crowned High Lord, so he spent his youth doing everything a High Lordâs son probably shouldnât: wandering the courts, making friends with the sons of other High Lordsââa faint gleam in Tamlinâs eyes at that ââand being with females who were a far cry from the nobility of the Autumn Court.â Tamlin paused for a moment, and I could almost feel the sorrow before he said, âLucien fell in love with a faerie whom his father considered to be grossly inappropriate for someone of his bloodline. Lucien said he didnât care that she wasnât one of the High Fae, that he was certain the mating bond would snap into place soon and that he was going to marry her and leave his fatherâs court to his scheming brothers.â
A tight sigh. âHis father had her put down. Executed, in front of Lucien, as his two eldest brothers held him and made him watch.â My stomach turned, and I pushed a hand against my chest. I couldnât imagine, couldnât comprehend that sort of loss. âLucien left. He cursed his father, abandoned his title and the Autumn Court, and walked out. And without his title protecting him, his brothers thought to eliminate one more contender to the High Lordâs crown. Three of them went out to kill him; one came back.â
---
âAs emissary,â I began, âhas he ever had dealings with his father? Or his brothers?â
âYes. His father has never apologized, and his brothers are too frightened of me to risk harming him.â No arrogance in those words, just icy truth. âBut he has never forgotten what they did to her, or what his brothers tried to do to him. Even if he pretends that he has.â
Under the Mountain
When Amarantha tortures Lucien for Feyre's name:
Behind them, pressing to the front of the crowd, came four tall, red-haired High Fae. Toned and muscled, some of them looking like warriors about to set foot on a battlefield, some like pretty courtiers, they all stared at Lucienâand grinned. The four remaining sons of the High Lord of the Autumn Court.
---
Lucienâs brothers lurked on the edges of the crowdâno remorse, no fear on their handsome faces.
---
âHer name?â she asked Tamlin, who didnât reply. His eyes were fixed on Lucienâs brothers, as if marking who was smiling the broadest.
Amarantha ran a nail down the arm of her throne. âI donât suppose your handsome brothers know, Lucien,â she purred.
âIf we did, Lady, we would be the first to tell you,â said the tallest. He was lean, well dressed, every inch of him a court-trained bastard. Probably the eldest, given the way even the ones who looked like born warriors stared at him with deference and calculationâand fear.
---
Lucien sagged on the ground, trembling. His brothers frownedâthe eldest going so far as to bare his teeth at me in a silent snarl.
---
A ripple of laughter spread across those assembled behind us, the loudest from Lucienâs brothers.
When Rhysand takes Feyre to the parties at night:
Faeries and High Fae gawked as we passed through the entrance. Some bowed to Rhysand, while others gaped. I spied several of Lucienâs older brothers gathered just inside the doors. The smiles they gave me were nothing short of vulpine.
---
We reached the throne room, and I braced myself to be drugged and disgraced again. But it was Rhysand the crowd looked atâRhysand whom Lucienâs brothers monitored. Amaranthaâs clear voice rang out over the music, summoning him. He paused, glancing at Lucienâs brothers stalking toward us, their attention pinned on me. Eager, hungryâwicked. I opened my mouth, not too proud to ask Rhysand not to leave me alone with them while he dealt with Amarantha, but he put a hand on my back and nudged me along
During the second trial:
In the crowd, red hair gleamedâfour heads of red hairâand I stiffened my spine. I knew his brothers would be smiling at Lucienâs predicamentâbut where was his mother? His father? Surely the High Lord of the Autumn Court would be present. I scanned the crowd. No sign of them
---
âAnswer it!â Lucien shouted, his voice hitched. My eyes stung. The world was just a blur of letters, mocking me with their turns and shapes.
The metal groaned as it scraped against the smooth stone of the chamber, and the faeriesâ whispers grew more frenzied. Through the holes in the grate, I thought I saw Lucienâs eldest brother chuckle. Hotâso unbearably hot.
---
âJust pick one!â Lucien shouted, and some of those in the crowd laughedâhis brothers no doubt the loudest.
When Tamlin and Feyre make out in the closet:
âYouâre both fools,â he murmured, his breathing uneven. âHow did you not think that someone would notice you were gone? You should thank the Cauldron Lucienâs delightful brothers werenât watching you.
After Feyre breaks the curse:
The Attor and the nastier faeries had disappeared instantly, along with Lucienâs brothers, which was a clever move, as Lucien wasnât the only faerie with a score to settle
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A Court of Mist and Fury:
Lucien telling Feyre about Jesminda:
âEven if I what?â
His face paled, and he stroked a hand down the mareâs cobweb-colored mane. âI was forced to watch as my father butchered the female I loved. My brothers forced me to watch.â
Rhys tells Mor's story:
His throat bobbed. I could tell it was rage, and pain, that kept him from telling me outrightânot mistrust. After a moment, he said, âI was there, in the Hewn City, the day her father declared she was to be sold in marriage to Eris, eldest son of the High Lord of the Autumn Court.â Lucienâs brother. âEris had a reputation for cruelty, and Mor ⌠begged me not to let it happen. For all her power, all her wildness, she had no voice, no rights with those people. And my father didnât particularly care if his cousins used their offspring as breeding stock.â
âWhat happened?â I breathed.
âI brought Mor to the Illyrian camp for a few days. And she saw Cassian, and decided sheâd do the one thing that would ruin her value to these people. I didnât know until after, and ⌠it was a mess. With Cassian, with her, with our families. And itâs another long story, but the short of it is that Eris refused to marry her. Said sheâd been sullied by a bastard-born lesser faerie, and heâd now sooner fuck a sow. Her family ⌠they ⌠â Iâd never seen him at such a loss for words. Rhys cleared his throat. âWhen they were done, they dumped her on the Autumn Court border, with a note nailed to her body that said she was Erisâs problem.â
Nailedânailed to her.
Rhys said with soft wrath, âEris left her for dead in the middle of their woods. Azriel found her a day later. It was all I could do to keep him from going to either court and slaughtering them all.â I thought of that merry face, the flippant laughter, the female that did not care who approved. Perhaps because she had seen the ugliest her kind had to offer. And had survived.
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A Court of Wings and Ruin:
Lucien tells his story:
âIâd say that sounds more High-Lord-like than the life of an idle, unwanted son.â
A long, steely look. âDid you think it was mere hatred that prompted my brothers to do their best to break and kill me?â
Despite myself, a shudder rippled down my spine. I finished off the apple and uncoiled to my feet, plucking another off a low-hanging branch. âWould you want itâyour fatherâs crown?â
âNo oneâs ever asked me that,â Lucien mused as we moved on, dodging fallen, rotting apples. The air was sticky-sweet. âThe bloodshed that would be required to earn that crown wouldnât be worth it. Neither would its festering court. Iâd gain a crownâonly to rule over a crafty, two-faced people.â
Lucien+Feyre vs. Autumn Court Brothers:
âFather,â the one now holding a knife to my throat said to Lucien, âis rather put out that you didnât stop by to say hello.â
âWeâre on an errand and canât be delayed,â Lucien answered smoothly, mastering himself.
That knife pressed a fraction harder into my skin as he let out a humorless laugh. âRight. Rumor has it you two have run off together, cuckolding Tamlin.â His grin widened. âI didnât think you had it in you, little brother.â
âHe had it in her, it seems,â one of the others sniggered.
I slid my gaze to the male above me. âYou will release us.â
âOur esteemed father wishes to see you,â he said with a snakeâs smile. The knife didnât waver. âSo you will come with us to his home.â âEris,â Lucien warned. The name clanged through me. Above me, mere inches away ⌠Morâs former betrothed. The male who had abandoned her when he found her brutalized body on the border. The High Lordâs heir.
---
âThis can end with you going under, begging me to get you out once that ice instantly refreezes,â Eris drawled. Behind him, cut off by his brothers, Lucien had drawn his own knife and now sized up the other two. âOr this can end with you agreeing to take my hand. But either way, you will be coming with me.â
---
Glaringâthen considering. Watching the three of us as I said to Eris, to his other two brothers, to the sentries on the shore, âYou all deserve to die for this. And for much, much more. But I am going to spare your miserable lives.â
Even with a wound through his gut, Erisâs lip curled.
Cassian snarled his warning.
I only removed the glamour Iâd kept on myself these weeks. With the sleeve of my jacket and shirt gone, there was nothing but smooth skin where that wound had been. Smooth skin that now became adorned with swirls and whorls of ink. The markings of my new titleâand my mating bond.
Lucienâs face drained of color as he strode for us, stopping a healthy distance from Azrielâs side. âI am High Lady of the Night Court,â I said quietly to them all.
Even Eris stopped sneering. His amber eyes widened, something like fear now creeping into them.
Lucien advises the Inner Circle:
Lucien studied me again, and it was an effort not to squirm. âMy father would likely join with Hybern if he thought he stood a chance of getting his power back that wayâby killing you.â
A snarl from Rhys.
âYour brothers saw me, though,â I said, setting down my fork. âPerhaps they could mistake the flame as yours, but the ice âŚâ
Lucien jerked his chin to Azriel. âThatâs the information you need to gather. What my father knows âif my brothers realized what she was doing. You need to start from there, and build your plan for this meeting accordingly.â
Mor said, âEris might keep that information to himself and convince the others to as well, if he thinks itâll be more useful that way.â I wondered if Mor looked at that red hair, the golden-brown skin that was a few shades darker than his brothersâ, and still saw Eris.
Lucien said evenly, âPerhaps. But we need to find that out. If Beron or Eris has that information, theyâll use it to their advantage in that meetingâto control it. Or control you. Or they might not show up at all, and instead go right to Hybern.â
Eris in the Hewn City:
If the Ouroboros could not be retrieved, at least without such terrible risk ⌠I shut out the thought, sealing it away for later, as Keir left. Leaving us alone with Eris.
The heir of Autumn just sipped his wine.
And I had the terrible sense that Mor had gone somewhere far, far away as Eris set down his goblet and said, âYou look well, Mor.â
âYou donât speak to her,â Azriel said softly.
Eris gave a bitter smile. âI see youâre still holding a grudge.â
âThis arrangement, Eris,â Rhys said, ârelies solely upon you keeping your mouth shut.â
Eris huffed a laugh. âAnd havenât I done an excellent job? Not even my father suspected when I left tonight.â
I glanced between my mate and Eris. âHow did this come about?â
Eris looked me over. The crown and dress. âYou didnât think that I knew your shadowsinger would come sniffing around to see if Iâd told my father about your ⌠powers? Especially after my brothers so mysteriously forgot about them, too. I knew it was a matter of time before one of you arrived to take care of my memory as well.â Eris tapped the side of his head with a long finger. âToo bad for you, I learned a thing or two about daemati. Too bad for my brothers that I never bothered to teach them.â
---
âOf course I didnât tell my father,â Eris went on, drinking from his wine again. âWhy waste that sort of information on the bastard? His answer would be to hunt you down and kill youânot realizing how much shit weâre in with Hybern and that you might be the key to stopping it.â
âSo he plans to join us, then,â Rhys said.
âNot if he learns about your little secret.â Eris smirked. Mor blinkedâas if realizing that Rhysâs contact with Eris, his invitation here ⌠The glance she gave me, clear and settled, told me enough. Hurt and anger still swirled, but understanding, too.
âSo whatâs the asking price, Eris?â Mor demanded, leaning her bare arms on the dark glass. âAnother little bride for you to torture?â
Something flickered in Erisâs eyes. âI donât know who fed you those lies to begin with, Morrigan,â he said with vicious calm. âLikely the bastards you surround yourself with.â A sneer at Azriel.
Mor snarled, rattling the glasses. âYou never gave any evidence to the contrary. Certainly not when you left me in those woods.â
âThere were forces at work that you have never considered,â Eris said coldly. âAnd I am not going to waste my breath explaining them to you. Believe what you want about me.â
âYou hunted me down like an animal,â I cut in. âI think weâll choose to believe the worst.â
Erisâs pale face flushed. âI was given an order. And sent to do it with two of my ⌠brothers.â
âAnd what of the brother you hunted down alongside me? The one whose lover you helped to execute before his eyes?â
Eris laid a hand flat on the table. âYou know nothing about what happened that day. Nothing.â
Silence.
âIndulge me,â was all I said.
Eris stared me down. I stared right back.
âHow do you think he made it to the Spring border,â he said quietly. âI wasnât thereâwhen they did it. Ask him. I refused. It was the first and only time I have denied my father anything. He punished me. And by the time I got free ⌠They were going to kill him, too. I made sure they didnât. Made sure Tamlin got wordâanonymouslyâto get the hell over to his own border.â
Where two of Erisâs brothers had been killed. By Lucien and Tamlin.
Eris picked at a stray thread on his jacket. âNot all of us were so lucky in our friends and family as you, Rhysand.â
Rhysâs face was a mask of boredom. âIt would seem so.â
And none of this entirely erased what heâd done, but ⌠âWhat is the asking price,â I repeated.
âThe same thing I told Azriel when I found him snooping through my fatherâs woods yesterday.â
Hurt flared in Morâs eyes as she whipped her head toward the shadowsinger. But Azriel didnât so much as acknowledge her as he announced, âWhen the time comes ⌠we are to support Erisâs bid to take the throne.â
Even as Azriel spoke, that frozen rage dulled his face. And Eris was wise enough to finally pale at the sight. Perhaps that was why Eris had kept knowledge of my powers to himself. Not just for this sort of bargaining, but to avoid the wrath of the shadowsinger. The blade at his side.
âThe request still stands, Rhysand,â Eris said, mastering himself, âto just kill my father and be done with it. I can pledge troops right now.â
Mother above. He didnât even try to hide itâto look at all remorseful. It was an effort to keep my jaw from dropping to the table at his intent, the casualness with which he spoke it.
âTempting, but too messy,â Rhys replied. âBeron sided with us in the War. Hopefully heâll sway that way again.â A pointed stare at Eris.
âHe will,â Eris promised, running a finger over one of the claw marks gouged into the table. âAnd will remain blissfully unaware of Feyreâs ⌠gifts.â A throneâin exchange for his silence. And sway.
âPromise Keir nothing you care about,â Rhys said, waving a hand in dismissal.
Eris just rose to his feet. âWeâll see.â A frown at Mor as he drained his wine and set down the goblet. âIâm surprised you still canât control yourself around him. You had every emotion written right on that pretty face of yours.â
âWatch it,â Azriel warned.
Eris looked between them, smiling faintly. Secretly. As if he knew something that Azriel didnât. âI wouldnât have touched you,â he said to Mor, who blanched again. âBut when you fucked that other bastardââ A snarl ripped from Rhysâs throat at that. And my own. âI knew why you did it.â Again that secret smile that had Mor shrinking. Shrinking. âSo I gave you your freedom, ending the betrothal in no uncertain terms.â
âAnd what happened next,â Azriel growled.
A shadow crossed Erisâs face. âThere are few things I regret. That is one of them. But ⌠perhaps one day, now that we are allies, I shall tell you why. What it cost me.â
âI donât give a shit,â Mor said quietly. She pointed to the door. âGet out.â
Eris gave a mocking bow to her. To all of us. âSee you at the meeting in twelve days.â
Inner Circle Reacts to Eris Alliance:
Mor whirled on Azriel. âWhy didnât you say anything?â
Azriel held her gaze unflinchingly. Didnât so much as rustle his wings. âBecause you would have tried to stop it. And we canât afford to lose Keirâs allianceâand face the threat of Eris.â
âYouâre working with that prick,â Cassian cut in, whatever catching-up now over, apparently. He moved to Morâs side, a hand on her back. He shook his head at Azriel and Rhys, disgust curling his lip. âYou should have spiked Erisâs fucking head to the front gates.â
Azriel only watched them with that icy indifference. But Lucien crossed his arms, leaning against the back of the couch. âI have to agree with Cassian. Eris is a snake.â
Perhaps Rhys had not filled him in on everything, then. On what Eris had claimed about saving his youngest brother in whatever way he could. Of his defiance.
âYour whole family is despicable,â Amren said to Lucien from where she and Nesta lingered in the archway. âBut Eris may prove a better alternative. If he can find a way to kill Beron off and make sure the power shifts to himself.â
âIâm sure he will,â Lucien said.
High Lord's Meeting
(the highlights - there's a lot of Beron, Eris, and Helion to piece together here)
Beronâslender-faced and brown-hairedâdidnât bother to look anywhere but at the High Lords assembled. But his remaining sons sneered at us. Sneered enough that the Peregryns ruffled their feathers. Even Varian flashed his teeth in warning at the leer Cresseida earned from one of them. Their father didnât bother to check them.
But Eris did.
A step behind his father, Eris murmured, âEnough,â and his younger brothers fell into line. All three of them.
Whether Beron noticed or cared, he did not let on. No, he merely stopped halfway across the room, hands folded before him, and scowledâas if we were a pack of mongrels.
Beron, the oldest among us. The most awful.
Rhys smoothly greeted him, though his power was a dark mountain shuddering beneath us, âItâs no surprise that youâre tardy, given that your own sons were too slow to catch my mate. I suppose it runs in the family.â
Beronâs lips curled slightly as he looked to me, my crown. âMateâand High Lady.â
I leveled a flat, bored stare at him. Turned it on his hateful sons. OnâEris.
Eris only smiled at me, amused and aloof. Would he wear that mask when he ended his fatherâs life and stole his throne?
---
Tamlin only angled his head at Rhys. âWhen you fuck her, have you ever noticed that little noise she makes right before she climaxes?â
Heat stained my cheeks. This wasnât outright battle, but a steady, careful shredding of my dignity, my credibility. Beron beamed, delightedâwhile Eris carefully monitored.
---
Rhys went on, âI ⌠convinced her that it would serve little purpose.â âWho knew,â Beron mused, âthat a cock could be so persuasive?â
âFather.â Erisâs voice was low with warning.
For Cassian, Azriel, Mor, and I had fixed our gazes upon Beron. And none of us were smiling. Perhaps Eris would be High Lord sooner than he planned.
---
âIf you want proof that we are not scheming with Hybern,â Rhysand said blandly to them all, âconsider the fact that it would be far less time-consuming to slice into your minds and make you do my bidding.â
Only Beron was stupid enough to scoff. Eris was just angling his body in his chairâblocking the path to his mother.
--
But Beron said, âYou may be inclined to believe him, Rhysand, but as someone who shares a border with his court, I am not so easily swayed.â A wry look. âPerhaps my errant son can clarify. Pray, where is he?â
Even Tamlin looked toward usâtoward me.
âHelping to guard our city,â was all I said. Not a lie, not entirely.
Eris snorted and surveyed Nesta, who stared back at him with steel in her face. âPity you didnât bring the other sister. I hear our little brotherâs mate is quite the beauty.â
If they knew Elain was Lucienâs mate ⌠It was now another avenue, I realized with no small amount of horror. Another way to strike at the youngest brother they hated so fiercely, so unreasonably. Erisâs bargain with us had not included protection of Lucien. My mouth went dry.
But Mor replied smoothly, âYou still certainly like to hear yourself talk, Eris. Good to know some things donât change over the centuries.â
Erisâs mouth curled into a smile at the words, the careful game of pretending that they had not seen each other in years. âGood to know that after five hundred years, you still dress like a slut.
---
Only Eris knew how far that alliance wentâinformation that could damn this meeting if either side revealed it. Information that could get him wiped off the earth by his father.
Mor was staring and staring at Azriel, who refused to look at her, who refused to do anything but give Eris that death-gaze.
Eris, wisely, averted his eyes. And said, âApologies, Morrigan.â
His father actually gawked at the words. But something like approval shone on the Lady of Autumnâs face as her eldest son settled himself once more.
---
Beronâs face darkened. âWatch your tone, girl.â
âShe doesnât have to watch anything,â I cut in. âNot when you fling that sort of horseshit at her.â I looked to the alchemist. âI will take your antidote.â
Beron rolled his eyes.
But Eris said, âFather.â
Beron lifted a brow. âYou have something to add?â
Eris didnât flinch, but he seemed to choose his words very, very carefully. âI have seen the effects of faebane.â He nodded toward me. âIt truly renders us unable to tap our power. If itâs wielded against us in war or beyond itââ
âIf it is, we shall face it. I will not risk my people or family in testing out a theory.â
âIt is no theory,â Nuan said, that mechanical hand clicking and whirring as it curled into a fist. âI would not stand here unless it had been proved without a doubt.â
A female of pride and hard work.
Eris said, âI will take it.â
It was the most ⌠decent Iâd ever heard him sound. Even Mor blinked at it.
Beron studied his son with a scrutiny that made some small, small part of me wonder if Eris might have grown to be a good male if heâd had a different father. If one still lurked there, beneath centuries of poison.
Because Eris ⌠What had it been like for him, Under the Mountain? What games had he playedâ what had he endured? Trapped for forty-nine years. I doubted he would risk such a thing happening again. Even if it set him in opposition to his fatherâor perhaps because of that.
Beron only said, âNo, you will not. Though Iâm sure your brothers will be sorry to hear it.â Indeed, the others seemed rather put-out that their first barrier to the throne wasnât about to risk his life in testing Nuanâs solution.
---
Rhys lifted a brow. âYour staggering generosity aside, will you be joining our forces?â
âI have not yet decided.â
Eris went so far as to give his father a look bordering on reproach. From genuine alarm or for what that refusal might mean for our own covert alliance, I couldnât tell.
---
This argument was pointless. And I didnât care who they were or who I was as I said to Beron, âGet out if youâre not going to be helpful.â
At his side, Eris had the wits to actually look worried.
But Beron continued to ignore his sonâs pointed stare and hissed at me, âDid you know that while your mate was warming Amaranthaâs bed, most of our people were locked beneath that mountain?â
I didnât deign responding.
âDid you know that while he had his head between her legs, most of us were fighting to keep our families from becoming the nightly entertainment?â
---
Beron shot to his feet, not bothering to brush off the dust, and declared to no one in particular, âThis meeting is over. I hope Hybern butchers you all.â
But Nesta rose from her chair. âThis meeting is not over.â
Even Beron paused at her tone. Eris sized up the space between my sister and his father.
She stood tall, a pillar of steel. âYou are all there is,â she said to Beron, to all of us. âYou are all that there is between Hybern and the end of everything that is good and decent.â She settled her stare on Beron, unflinching and fierce.
âYou fought against Hybern in the last war. Why do you refuse to do so now?â Beron did not deign to answer. But he did not leave. Eris subtly motioned his brothers to sit. Nesta marked the gestureâhesitated. As if realizing she indeed held their complete attention. That every word mattered.
---
She looked to Beron and his family as she finished. Only the Lady and Eris seemed to be consideringâimpressed, even, by the strange, simmering woman before them.
I didnât have the words in meâto convey what was in my heart. Cassian seemed the same.
Beron only said, âI shall consider it.â
A look at his family, and they vanished. Eris was the last to winnow, something conflicted dancing over his face, as if this was not the outcome heâd planned for.
Expected.
The Lucien Paternity Revelation:
Helion began asking why we wanted to know, what Hybern was doing with the Cauldron ⌠and Rhys fed him answers, easily and smoothly.
While we spoke, I said down the bond, Helion is Lucienâs father. Rhys was silent. Thenâ Holy burning hell. His shock was a shooting star between us.
I let my gaze dart through the room, half paying attention to Helionâs musing on the wall and how to repair it, then dared study the High Lord for a heartbeat. Look at him. The nose is the same, the smile. The voice. Even Lucienâs skin is darker than his brothersâ. A golden brown compared to their pale coloring.
It would explain why his father and brothers detest him so muchâwhy they have tormented him his entire life.
My heart squeezed at that. And why Eris didnât want him dead. He wasnât a threat to Erisâs powerâhis throne. I swallowed. Helion has no idea, does he?
It would seem not.
The Lady of Autumnâs favorite sonânot only from Lucienâs goodness. But because he was the child sheâd dreamed of having ⌠with the male she undoubtedly loved.
The War:
Out of a rip in the world, Eris appeared atop our knoll, clad head to toe in silver armor, a red cape spilling from his shoulders. Rhys snarled a warning, too far gone in his power to bother controlling himself.
Eris just rested a hand on the pommel of his fine sword and said, âWe thought you might need some help.â
---
But Beron. Beron had come. Eris registered our shock at that, too, and said, âTamlin made him. Dragged my father out by his neck.â A half smile. âIt was delightful.
---
Rhysâs voice was roughâlow. âAnd what of your father?â
âWeâre taking care of a problem,â was all Eris said, and pointed toward his fatherâs army. For those were his brothers approaching the front line, winnowing in bursts through the host. Right past the front lines and to the enemy wagons scattered throughout Hybernâs ranks.
The Final Meeting:
Eris was bruised and cut up enough to indicate he must have been in terrible shape after the fighting ceased yesterday, sporting a brutal slice down his cheek and neckâbarely healed. Mor let out a satisfied grunt at the sight of itâor perhaps a sound of disappointment that the wound had not been fatal.
Eris continued by as if he hadnât heard it, but didnât sneer at least. Ratherâhe just nodded at Rhys. It was silent promise enough: soon. Soon, perhaps, Eris would finally take what he desiredâand call in our debt.
We did not bother to nod back. None of us.
Especially not Lucien, who continued dutifully ignoring his eldest brother. But as Eris strode by ⌠I could have sworn there was something like sadnessâlike regret, as he glanced to Lucien.
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A Court of Frost and Starlight:
Mor's Flashback (TW: physical abuse, violence)
But the Autumn Court male standing beside Keir ⌠Mor made herself look at Eris. Into his amber eyes.
Colder than any hall of Kalliasâs court. They had been that way from the moment sheâd met him, five centuries ago.
Eris laid a pale hand on the breast of his pewter-colored jacket, the portrait of Autumn Court gallantry. âI thought Iâd extend some Solstice greetings of my own.â
That voice. That silky, arrogant voice. It had not altered, not in tone or timbre, in the passing centuries, either. Had not changed since that day.
Warm, buttery sunlight through the leaves, setting them glowing like rubies and citrines. The damp, earthen scent of rotting things beneath the leaves and roots she lay upon. Had been thrown and left upon.
Everything hurt. Everything. She couldnât move. Couldnât do anything but watch the sun drift through the rich canopy far overhead, listen to the wind between the silvery trunks.
And the center of that pain, radiating outward like living fire with each uneven, rasping breath âŚ
Light, steady steps crunched on the leaves. Six sets. A border guard, a patrol.
Help. Someone to helpâ
A male voice, foreign and deep, swore. Then went silent.
Went silent as a single pair of steps approached. She couldnât turn her head, couldnât bear the agony. Could do nothing but inhale each wet, shuddering breath.
âDonât touch her.â
Those steps stopped.
It was not a warning to protect her. Defend her.
She knew the voice that spoke. Had dreaded hearing it. She felt him approach now. Felt each reverberation in the leaves, the moss, the roots. As if the very land shuddered before him.
âNo one touches her,â he said. Eris. âThe moment we do, sheâs our responsibility.â
Cold, unfeeling words.
âButâbut they nailed aââ
âNo one touches her.â
...
She began shaking, hating it as much as sheâd hated the begging. Her body bellowed in agony, those nails in her abdomen relentless.
A pale, beautiful face appeared above her, blocking out the jewel-like leaves above. Unmoved. Impassive. âI take it you do not wish to live here, Morrigan.â
She would rather die here, bleed out here. She would rather die and returnâ return as something wicked and cruel, and shred them all apart.
He must have read it in her eyes. A small smile curved his lips. âI thought so.â
Eris straightened, turning. Her fingers curled in the leaves and loamy soil.
She wished she could grow claws���grow claws as Rhys couldâand rip out that pale throat. But that was not her gift. Her gift ⌠her gift had left her here. Broken and bleeding.
Eris took a step away.
Someone behind him blurted, âWe canât just leave her toââ
âWe can, and we will,��� Eris said simply, his pace unfaltering as he strode away. âShe chose to sully herself; her family chose to deal with her like garbage. I have already told them my decision in this matter.â A long pause, crueler than the rest. âAnd I am not in the habit of fucking Illyrian leftovers.â
She couldnât stop it, then. The tears that slid out, hot and burning. Alone. They would leave her alone here. Her friends did not know where she had gone. She barely knew where she was.
âButââ That dissenting voice cut in again.
âMove out.â
There was no dissension after that.
And when their steps faded away, then vanished, the silence returned.
The sun and the wind and the leaves.
The blood and the iron and the soil beneath her nails.
The pain.
Eris in the Hewn City:
âI would suggest reminding Beron that territory expansion is not on the table. For any court.â
Eris wasnât fazed. Nothing had ever disturbed him, ruffled him. Mor had hated it from the moment sheâd met himâthat distance, that coldness. That lack of interest or feeling for the world. âThen I would suggest to you, High Lord, that you speak to your dear friend Tamlin about it.â
âWhy.â Feyreâs question was sharp as a blade.
Erisâs mouth curved in an adderâs smile. âBecause Tamlinâs territory is the only one that borders the human lands. Iâd think that anyone looking to expand would have to go through the Spring Court first. Or at least obtain his permission.
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A Court of Silver Flames:
Mor meets with Cassian:
âEris bought me time.â Her words were laced with acid.
Cassian had tried not to believe it, but he knew Eris had done it as a gesture of good faith. Heâd invited Rhysand into his mind to see exactly why heâd convinced Keir to indefinitely delay his visit to Velaris. Only Eris had that sort of sway with the power-hungry Keir, and whatever Eris had offered Keir in exchange for not coming here was still a mystery. At least to Cassian. Rhys probably knew. From Morâs pale face, he wondered if she knew, too. Eris must have sacrificed something big to spare Mor from her fatherâs visit, which would have likely been timed for a moment that would maximize tormenting her.
Cassian meets with the Band of Exiles + Eris:
Lucienâs gold eye clicked, reading Cassianâs rage while warning flashed in his remaining russet eye.
The male had grown up alongside Eris. Had dealt with Erisâs and Beronâs cruelty. Had his lover slaughtered by his own father. But Lucien had learned to keep his cool.
---
Eris was their ally. Rhys had bargained with him, worked with him. Eris had held up his end at every turn. Rhys trusted him. Mor, despite all that had happened, trusted him. Sort of. So Cassian supposed he should do so as well.
---
Eris snorted again at Cassianâs fumbling, and, unable to help himself, Cassian at last turned toward him. âWhat are you doing here?â
Eris didnât so much as shift in his seat. âSeveral dozen of my soldiers were out on patrol in my lands several days ago and have not reported back. We found no sign of battle. Even my hounds couldnât track them beyond their last known location.â
Cassianâs brows lowered. He knew he shouldnât let anything show, but ⌠Those hounds were the best in Prythian. Canines blessed with magic of their own. Gray and sleek like smoke, they could race fast as the wind, sniff out any prey. They were so highly prized that the Autumn Court forbade them from being given or sold beyond its borders, and so expensive that only its nobility owned them. And they were bred rarely enough that even one was extremely difficult to come by. Eris, Cassian knew, had twelve.
âNone of them could winnow?â Cassian asked.
âNo. While the unit is one of my most skilled in combat, none of its soldiers are remarkable in magic or breeding.â
Breeding was tossed at Cassian with a smirk. Asshole.
But Eris shrugged a shoulder. âI think plenty of parties are interested in triggering another war, and this would be the start of it. Though perhaps your court did it. I wouldnât put it past Rhysand to winnow my soldiers away and plant some mysterious scents to throw us off.â
---
Erisâs long red hair ruffled in the wind. âWhatever it is youâre doing, whatever it is youâre looking into, I want in.â
âWhy? And no.â
âBecause I need the edge Briallyn has, what Koschei has told her or shown her.â
âTo overthrow your father.â
âBecause my father has already pledged his forces to Briallyn and the war she wishes to incite.â
Cassian started. âWhat?â
âExplain what the fuck you mean by Beron pledging his forces to Briallyn.â
âItâs exactly what it sounds like. He caught wind of her ambitions, and went to her palace a month ago to meet with her. I stayed here, but I sent my best soldiers with him.â Cassian refrained from sniping about Eris opting out, especially as the last words settled.
âThose wouldnât happen to be the same soldiers who went missing, would they?â
Eris nodded gravely. âThey returned with my father, but they were ⌠off. Aloof and strange. They vanished soon afterâand my hounds confirmed that the scents at the scene are the same as those on gifts Briallyn sent to curry my fatherâs favor.â
---
âWhat does Beron say?â
âHe is unaware of it. You know where I stand with my father. And this unholy alliance heâs struck with Briallyn will only hurt us. All of us. It will turn into a Fae war for control. So I want to find answers on my ownârather than what my father tries to feed me.â
Cassian surveyed the male, his grim face. âSo we take out your father.â
Eris snorted, and Cassian bristled. âI am the only person my father has told of his new allegiance. If the Night Court moves, it will expose me.â
âSo your worry about Briallynâs alliance with Beron is about what it means for you, rather than the rest of us.â
âI only wish to defend the Autumn Court against its worst enemies.â
âWhy would I work with you on this?â
âBecause we are indeed allies.â Erisâs smile became lupine. âAnd because I do not believe your High Lord would wish me to go to other territories and ask them to help with Briallyn and Koschei. To help them remember that all it might take to secure Briallynâs alliance would be to hand over a certain Archeron sister. Donât be stupid enough to believe my father hasnât thought of that, too.â
The Inner Circle Assigning Cassian to Eris:
And then Cassian had been slapped with a new order: keep an eye on Eris. Beyond the fact that he approached you, Rhys had said, you are my general. Eris commands Beronâs forces. Be in communication with him. Cassian had started to object, but Rhys had directed a pointed look at Azriel, and Cassian had caved. Az had too much on his plate already. Cassian could deal with that piece of shit Eris on his own.
Eris wants to avoid a war that would expose him, Feyre had guessed. If Beron sides with Briallyn, Eris would be forced to choose between his father and Prythian. The careful balance heâs struck by playing both sides would crumble. He wants to act when itâs convenient for his plans. This threatens that.
Eris meets with Rhys and Cassian:
âYouâve turned into quite the little traitor,â Rhys said, stars winking out in his eyes.
âI told you years ago what I wanted, High Lord,â Eris said.
To seize his fatherâs throne. âWhy?â Cassian asked.
Eris grasped what he meant, apparently, because flame sizzled in his eyes. âFor the same reason I left Morrigan untouched at the border.â
âYou left her there to suffer and die,â Cassian spat. His Siphons flickered, and all he could see was the maleâs pretty face, all he could feel was his own fist, aching to make contact.
Eris sneered. âDid I? Perhaps you should ask Morrigan whether that is true. I think she finally knows the answer.â Cassianâs head spun, and the relentless itching resumed, like fingers trailing along his spine, his legs, his scalp. Eris added before winnowing away, âTell me when the shadowsinger returns.â
Eris meets with Cassian and Nesta:
âThe Dread Trove,â Eris mused, surveying the heavy gray sky that threatened snow. âIâve never heard of such items. Though it does not surprise me.â
âDoes your father know of them?â The Steppes werenât neutral ground, but they were empty enough that Eris had finally deigned to accept Cassianâs request to meet here. After taking days to reply to his message.
âNo, thank the Mother,â Eris said, crossing his arms. âHe would have told me if he did. But if the Trove has a sentience like you suggested, if it wants to be found ⌠I fear that it might also be reaching out to others as well. Not just Briallyn and Koschei.â
Beron in possession of the Trove would be a disaster. Heâd join the ranks of the King of Hybern. Could become something terrible and deathless like Lanthys. âSo Briallyn failed to inform Beron about her quest for the Trove when he visited her?â
âApparently, she doesnât trust him, either,â Eris said, face full of contemplation. âIâll need to think on that.â
âDonât tell him about it,â Cassian warned.
Eris shook his head. âYou misunderstand me. Iâm not going to tell him a damned thing. But the fact that Briallyn is actively hiding her larger plans from him âŚâ He nodded, more to himself. âIs this why Morrigan is back in Vallahan? To learn if they know about the Trove?â
---
Cassian grimaced. âTechnically, Azriel and I did. Your soldiers were enchanted by Queen Briallyn and Koschei to be mindless killers. They attacked us in the Bog of Oorid, and we were left with no choice but to kill them.â
âAnd yet two survived. How convenient. I assume they received Azrielâs particular brand of interrogation?â Erisâs voice dripped disdain.
âWe could only manage to contain two,â Cassian said tightly. âUnder Briallynâs influence, they were practically rabid.â
âLetâs not lie to ourselves. You only bothered to contain two, by the time your brute bloodlust ebbed away.â
Eris snorted. âThere were certainly more than that, and you could have easily spared more than two. But I donât know why Iâd expect someone like you to have done any better.â
---
âDid you even try to spare the others, or did you just launch right into a massacre?â Eris seethed.
---
Nesta took one step closer to Eris. âYour soldiers shot an ash arrow through one of Azrielâs wings.â
Erisâs teeth flashed. âAnd did you join in this massacre, too?â
âNo,â she said frankly. âBut I wonder: Did Briallyn arm the soldiers with those ash arrows, or did they come from your private armory?â
Eris blinked, the only confirmation required. âSuch weapons are banned, arenât they?â she asked Cassian, whose features remained taut. The conflagration within her burned hotter, higher. She returned her attention to Eris. If he could toy with Cassian, then sheâd return the favor. âWho were you storing those arrows for?â she mused. âEnemies abroad?â She smiled slightly. âOr an enemy at home?â
Eris held her stare. âI donât know what youâre talking about.â
Nestaâs smile didnât waver. âWould an ash arrow through the heart kill a High Lord?â
Erisâs face paled. âYouâre wasting my time.â
Eris and Nesta dance:
"Donât believe the lies they tell you about me.â
She pulled back just enough to meet his gaze. âOh?â
Eris nodded to where Mor watched them from beside Feyre and Rhys, her face neutral and aloof. âShe knows the truth but has never revealed it.â
âWhy?â
âBecause she is afraid of it.â
âYou donât win yourself any favors with your behavior.â
âDonât I? Do I not ally myself with this court under constant threat of being discovered and killed by my father? Do I not offer aid whenever Rhysand wishes?â He spun her again. âThey believe a version of events that is easier to swallow. I always thought Rhysand wiser than that, but he tends to be blind where those he loves are concerned.â
---
Cassian could only stare at Erisâs throat, pondering whether to strangle him or slit the skin wide open. Let him bleed out on the floor.
âThatâs not my decision,â Rhys said calmly to Eris. âAnd it seems foolish for you to offer me anything I want in exchange for her, anyway.â
His jaw tightened. âI have my reasons.â
From the shadows in his eyes, Cassian knew something more lay beneath the rash offer. Something that even Azâs spies hadnât picked up on at the Autumn Court. All it would take was one push of Rhysâs power into his mind and theyâd know, but ⌠it went against everything they stood for, at least amongst their allies. Rhys demanded their trust; he had to give it in return. Cassian couldnât fault his brother for that.
Eris added, âIt is a bonus, of course, that in doing so, I would be repaying Cassian for ruining my betrothal to Morrigan.â
---
Again, Rhysâs lips twitched. So bloodthirsty, Cassian heard his High Lord croon to his mate. But Rhys said, âAnything I want, whether it be armies from the Autumn Court or your firstborn, you would grant me in exchange for Nesta Archeron as your wife?â
Cassian growled low in his throat. His brother was letting this carry on too far.
Eris glared. âNot as far as the firstborn, but yes, Rhysand. You want armies against Briallyn and my father, youâll have them.â His lips curved upward. âI couldnât very well let my wifeâs sister go into battle unaided, could I?â
Eris, Cassian, and Nesta meet (the last time before the Rite)
Cassian only gave her an amused wink before continuing, âYour letter seemed to imply that your father was making a move. Out with it.â
âMy father went to the continent again last week. He came back seeming normal, without the glassy-eyed aloofness my soldiers displayed. He did not invite me to accompany him, or explain what he discussed with Briallyn. I can only assume the fallout is approaching, though, and wanted to warn you. It was not something I could risk putting in writing. But for now ⌠for now, it seems as if the world is holding its breath.â
---
âThatâs absurd,â Nesta snapped. âWhat do we have to gain?â
Red flame sizzled in Erisâs eyes. âWhat did the King of Hybern have to gain by attaining the Cauldron and invading our lands?â
âWe have no interest in conquest, Eris,â Cassian said, crossing his arms. âYou know that. And weâre not going to use the Trove.â
Eris barked a laugh. Nesta could see that he didnât believe themâthat he was so used to the twisted politics and scheming of his court that even when the simple, easy truth was offered, he could not see it. âI find myself not entirely comfortable with your court possessing two items in the Trove.â His gaze shifted to Nesta. âEspecially when you have so many other weapons in your arsenal.â
---
Eris picked at a piece of lint on his jacket. At his side hung the dagger Rhys and Feyre had gifted him, simple and plain compared to the finery on him. Her dagger. âYouâd be truly stupid to go after Briallyn directly.â
âLeave the heroics to the brutes, Eris,â Cassian said. âWouldnât want to risk cutting up those pretty hands.â
Erisâs fingers curled slightly on his biceps. Nesta reined in her smile. Cassianâs words had found their mark.
---
Eris only said, âIf you fail in retrieving the Crown, you risk Briallyn using it upon you. She could turn you on each other. Make you do unspeakable things. Even reveal to her where the other two objects are. And youâd have no choice but to tell her everything.â He worried about them revealing their allianceâfor his own sake. âYou threaten to expose us. Do not pursue the Crown.â
---
Eris glowered. âHas this been the plan the whole time? To string me along, make me an enemy of my father, then use the Trove against all of us?â
âYou made yourself an enemy of your father,â Cassian said, smiling faintly. âWhen he finds out, I wonder if heâll let your hounds rip you to shreds, or if heâll do it himself.â
Eris paled slightly. âDonât you mean if he finds out?â
Cassian said nothing. Kept his face neutral. Nesta stifled her smugness and did the same.
Eris observed them. For the first time since Nesta had known the male, uncertainty banked the fire in his gaze.
And then he turned toward the other subject in his letter, facing Nesta before he asked, âAnd my offer for you?â Not one ounce of affection or longing laced his words.
Nesta lifted her chin, smirking at last. âI suppose once we have the Crown in our hands, the Night Court wonât need you after all. Neither will I.â
She could have sworn Cassian was repressing a laugh, but she kept her gaze on Eris, who went rigid, rippling with rage. âI do not appreciate being toyed with, Nesta Archeron. My offer was sincere. Stay with the Night Court and you risk your ruin.â
Cassian cut in smoothly, âTry to fuck us over, Eris, and you risk yours.â
Erisâs upper lip curled. âDo whatever you want.â He straightened, as if shaking off any emotion, face going cold and cruel again. âItâs your lives you gamble with, not mine.â He chuckled, nodding to Cassian. âSo what if the world loses another brute to war? Good riddance.â
Eris getting kidnapped and ensnared by the Crown:
Azriel said tightly, âMy spies got word that Eris has been captured by Briallyn. She sent his remaining soldiers after him while he was out hunting with his hounds. They grabbed him and somehow, they were all winnowed back to her palace. Iâm guessing using Koscheiâs power.â
---
I had to use that brash princeling Eris to draw him in.â A soft laugh. âEris tried to help his soldiers when they surrounded him during his hunt. Help those wretches. He rode right up to them, rather than gallop away as any wise person would. They grabbed him with minimal fuss. Even those infernal hounds of his could do nothing as Koschei winnowed him away.â
Eris might be a good male?
Eris went on, âAlways mix truth and lies, General. Didnât those warrior-brutes teach you about how to withstand an enemyâs torture?â
Cassian knew. Heâd been tortured and interrogated and never once broken. âBeron tortured you?â
Eris rose, tucking his book under an arm. âWho cares what my father does to me? He believed my story about the shadowsingerâs spies informing him that a valuable asset had been kidnapped by Briallyn, and that you lot were disgusted to arrive and find it was me, rather than someone from the Summer or Winter Courts or whoever stoops to associate with you.â
Cassian unpacked each word. Beron had tortured his own son for information, rather than thanking the Mother for returning him. But Eris had held out. Fed Beron another lie.
And then there was the way Eris had spoken about the other courts. Something had been off in his words, his tight expression. Was the male jealous?
Cassian opened his mouth, more than ready to launch that question at him and bestow a stinging blow.
Yet he hesitated. Looked into Erisâs eyes.
The male had been raised with every luxury and privilegeâon paper. But who knew what terrors Beron had inflicted upon him? Cassian knew Beron had murdered Lucienâs lover. If the High Lord of Autumn had been willing to do that, what wouldnât he do?
âGet that pitying look off your face,â Eris snarled softly. âI know what sort of creature my father is. I donât need your sympathy.â
Cassian again studied him. âWhy did you leave Mor in the woods that day?â It was the question that would always remain. âWas it just to impress your father?â
Eris barked a laugh, harsh and empty. âWhy does it still matter to all of you so much?â
âBecause sheâs my sister, and I love her.â
âI didnât realize Illyrians were in the habit of fucking their sisters.â
Cassian growled. âIt still matters,â he ground out, âbecause it doesnât add up. You know what a monster your father is and want to usurp him; you act against him in the best interests of not only the Autumn Court but also of all of the faerie lands; you risk your life to ally with us ⌠and yet you left her in the woods. Is it guilt that motivates all of this? Because you left her to suffer and die?â
Golden flame simmered in Erisâs gaze. âI didnât realize Iâd be facing another interrogation so soon.â
âGive me a damn answer.â
Eris crossed his arms, then winced. As if whatever injuries lay beneath his immaculate clothes ached. âYouâre not the person I want to explain myself to.â
âI doubt Mor will want to listen.â
âMaybe not.â Eris shifted on his feet, and grimaced again. âBut you and yours have more important things to think about than ancient history. My father is furious that his ally is dead, but heâs not deterred. Koschei remains in play, and Beron might very well be stupid enough to establish an alliance with him, too. I hope that whatever Morrigan is doing in Vallahan will counteract the damage my father will unleash.â
----
Eris was still their ally. Was willing to be tortured to keep their secrets. And Cassian didnât need to be a courtier to know his next words would slice deep, but it would be a necessary wound. Perhaps it would be enough to push things in the right direction.
---
âYou know, Eris,â he said, a hand wrapping around the doorknob. âI think you might be a decent male, deep down, trapped in a terrible situation.â He looked over his shoulder and found Erisâs gaze blazing again. But only pity stirred in his chest, pity for a male who had been born into riches, but had been destitute in every way that truly mattered. In every way that Cassian had been blessedâblessings that were now overflowing.
So Cassian said, âI grew up surrounded by monsters. Iâve spent my existence fighting them. And I see you, Eris. Youâre not one of them. Not even close. I think you might even be a good male.â Cassian opened the door, turning from Erisâs curled lip. âYouâre just too much of a coward to act like one.â
#eris vanserra#autumn court#morrigan#a court of silver flames#long post#kp analysis#lucien vanserra#a court of wings and ruin#a court of frost and starlight#lady of the autumn court#helion spell cleaver#acotar series#mtp
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