#neil didn't even think he would get to LIVE period

[kukobs]

i love reading andreil's interactions pre-tkm or even pre-trk because they're so hostile with each other it's so funny, they don't like each other at all. meanwhile i'm rubbing my hand together like "hehe you have no idea what awaits you you FOOLS. you guys are gonna LOVE each other unconditionally, live TOGETHER and raise KITTIES while living a good, domestic life forever you MORONS 😏"

[wasawattpadkid]

Housewife

Part - 10

Summery: Billy and Stu have been planning these murders for quite some time. Everything is going to plan until you show up. What happens when they meet someone who is just as mentally deluded as they are?

Pairing: poly!ghostface x fem!reader

Warnings for this series: murder, blood, smut (will be more in depth on smut chapters), power dynamics, a dash of sexism, knives, stalking, perverse behavior, cheating, mention of suicide,

Part 1

"Did Neil Prescott attack you with the ghostface costume on?"

"They've yet to close the case on the murders. Do you think Neil could've had a partner?"

"Was is hard watching your girlfriend die in front of you?"

The reporters spit inappropriate questions at Billy from the moment he stepped out of his car. He was more than happy that he got away with it but he found it a little annoying someone else was getting all the credit for his well executed plan. Billy threw his his backpack on barley missing the healing wound underneath his polo.

He passed by the reporters pushing some of them out of the way. Surprisingly no one bombarded him with questions when he entered first period. He heard whispers as he walked the halls. They didn't bother him at first. Billy lived through it, he got the front row seat most of them would kill to have. The boy kept his head down as he walked into his first period class. "It was Stu's house I know he had something to do with it." One of the boys said talking with his friends. Billy listened into the conversation. He was a nosey person by nature. "That doesn't mean he did it. I mean Sydney's dad was a wack job after his wife slept with half the town."

Billy nodded to himself. "I don't know something seems fishy with how close Stu and that new chick were." If you were close with anyone it was Billy. He was just careful about showing affection in public because shit like this happenes. People talk. "They were probably fucking and Tatum found out, everything went side ways." The group of three started laughing as the teacher shut the classroom door. Billy wasn't keen on hearing people talk about you or Stu but Stu had thick skin. Words never really bothered him much.

"You know we all would've died if Y/n didn't call the cops when she did." Billy snapped his tone a little too assertive. The class grew quiet everyone hearing what the boy had to say. Even the teacher was quiet not wanting to upset Billy more than he already was. "Class I know that these last few weeks have been traumatic for some more than others. However it would be beneficial to everyone if we continued on with our unit."

Billy went through the day with his keeping his eyes on the ground. He started to realize how hard it was to get through the day without Stu by his side going on and on about something he really didn't care about. The lunch bell rang and like clockwork all the kids flooded the hallway. For the most part Billy was completely ignored except for a few wide eyes stares in the hallway. For a second he forgot about what he had done. He saw the fountain being occupied by two girls. The freshman girls looked at Billy like he was a celebrity. "Oh my god Billy Loomis. I didn't think you'd come back so soon. Are you okay?" The blonde student rambled on stumbling over her words.

"Move." He was a man of few words. "I'm sorry about Syd- wait what?" She asked as her friend started picking her things up. "Are you deaf or something? Get out of my fucking spot." The girls hurried to grab their things. "This is where we sit everyday are you fucking blind?" He yelled causing people around to stare at the scene. "I-I'm s-sorry..." The kid stuttered scared of the boy in front of her. "Duh- duh- duh- get the fuck out of here." Billy spat nearly making the girl cry. Silently her friend grabbed her hand pulling her towards the building.

He could feel the eyes of those around him tearing into his slim frame. Billy sat on the concrete slab where he always did. No Sydney, no Tatum, no Randy, no Stu, and no you. His peers just watched the boy have a mental breakdown. It was lonely being alive. It wasn't the lack of people that was upsetting, it was the quiet. Running a hand through his messy hair he jumped up. "Fuck this."

You had never felt so good on a Monday. Your wound barley hurt with a little help from the pain killers. "Elvis really?" Stu questioned as you pulled the record out of it's sleeve. "You're not an American if you don't like Elvis." He pulled his lips into a straight line. "Consider me Canadian." Your rolled your eyes sitting the needle down. "Did you know he came in his pants during one performance?" Stu crinkled his nose at the unwante information. "That is fucking disgusting. Tell me more." You laughed laying on your bed next to him.

Billy blasted his radio choosing to listen to the burnt CD Stu made him a few weeks ago. Sad whiney alternative rock seeped through the speakers. It did nothing to help his mood but he wanted to sit and wallow in his self pity for just a little longer. It wasn't a very long drive to your house which saved him gas. If he had to guess you were probably laid up in pain waiting for someone to come and help you. And if you weren't going to answer his calls he'd do the chivalrous thing by showing up unannounced.

You held your sides as Stu danced around doing his best Elvis impression. "Stop it's so bad." You cried with laughter barley able to get the words out. You heard a faint noise downstairs grabbing your attention. "Wait, shh do you hear that?" Stu pipped down letting you concentrate. "Somebody's at the door." You rolled off the bed heading down the steps. "I'm going to pick the next record." Stu called from the bedroom. Making sure you looked presentable you opened the door. Billy looked up at you a smile playing at his lips for the first time in what felt like forever. "Hey." He said as you stared in shock. Your heart raced and you felt sick.

"Jeez don't get too excited." The visitor rubbed the back of his neck trying to ease his slowly building nerves. It was obvious to him you weren't as happy about seeing him as he was you. To him you were a breath of fresh air but that was because he was stealing yours. "Y/n please talk to me." He pleaded making you snap out of the trance you were in. "Go away." You thought it'd come out as a scream but it barley qualified as a whisper. Billy caught the door as it was closing. "You can't just tell me you're in love with me and then disappear." He walked into the house as if he owned it. You couldn't help but laugh dryly.

"That's what you got out of everything thing that happened Monday?" He raised an eyebrow unsure of what he was missing. "What else was I supposed to get? You literally pointed at gun at me saying you did all this for me because you loved me." You slammed your front door causing Stu to jump upstairs. "I was going to kill you." You said plainly done with the chit chat. "Excuse me?" You walked to the kitchen grabbing a drink from the fridge. "You heard me. When I saw that article and saw your smug face all I could see was red." Billy took a seat on your couch deciding to take his shoes off as if he was staying longer.

"I did love you, you're right but that was years ago. For a second there you had me fooled I'll give you that. My original plan was to get close to you and then kill you. Simple as that. Stu made that hard considering you were two attached at the hip." You refrained from making a joke you knew the boy upstairs would appreciate. "Why didn't you just kill him too?" With the look you gave him he knew that wasn't a good question. You took a swig of soda setting the glass bottle down on the counter. "It might be a shocker for a heartless bastard like you but I don't just run around killing people that inconvenience me."

Billy was actually kind of hurt by the comment. "I found out you two were planning to murder a group of kids so I sat and waited for you two to get yourselves put in prison or better yet you'd kill yourself." Billy swallowed what little spit he had left in his mouth. He was uncomfortable. "I'm not stupid, I knew you were going to kill him. He was simply collateral to you. That's what really pissed me off. You hadn't changed at all. I couldn't kill you now because he loved you and I couldn't bring myself to hurt him. Does he know?"

Stu sat upstairs knees to his chest as he tried not to cry. He was dumb he knew that but he was okay with it. He didn't think he was think oblivious though. All he was to Billy was a disposable accomplice. Something he could throw away once he was done using him.

"I wasn't going to kill him. We were going to run away together." You laughed shaking your head in disbelief. "Watch out Loomis, you're starting to sound as delusional as me." The whole scene really played out like two parents in the midst of a divorce. "Why'd you come here?" The defeated sound in your voice made Billy regret his decision in coming here. "I wanted to see you." He muttered. "Well you've seen me." You held out your hands making sure he could get a good luck before he left.

"I love you." Billy looked up at you making sure your eyes met when you heard the words. You hated the way he could easily manipulate you. Maybe it was because you wanted him to. You enjoyed how the lies made you feel so you chose to believe them. "If you think that's what I want to hear it's not. Love bombing is a big red flag you know?" Billy slammed his fist on the couch arm in frustration. "What the hell do you want to hear then?" You pinched the bridge of your nose. "I can't explain every little thing to you Billy. It's not my responsibility to teach you how to be a decent human being. I just need time. We both do. If you still feel the same way next week we can talk okay?"

Billy bit his lip till it started to bleed. "Okay." He was yet again defeated by you. You weren't keeping score but he certainly was. "If I call will you at least answer? Please." The idea wasn't bad but you knew it was only a matter of time till this sense of clarity wore off. You'd take him back in a heartbeat because you're the same easily impressed girl you've always been.

"I'll think about it." You'd kiss him right now if he as much implied the idea. One whimper from him and you've would've started making the bastard a sandwich. "Thank you." He said as he put he shoes back on. "How are you?" It was a question you thought he didn't care enough to ask. "I'm feeling better. Thank you for asking. How are you doing?" Billy's wound didn't even bother him at this point it was his mental state that was in decline. "I miss you and Stu." That wasn't an answer to your question but you proceeded with caution.

"I'll be back to school next week. Why don't you stay home this week too? School is not exactly the best idea for us right now." All things considered that is. You didn't understand how much Billy despised his "home." Since his mother left him his house became a prison. A padded cell would be cozier. "I would rather go to school all day than go home." You felt for him but that's as far as your sympathy went. Slowly he stood up waiting for anything to keep him here a bit longer.

"I'll see you Monday, Billy." You walked over to him ready to open up the front door. Swallowing his pride he wrapped his arms around you burying his face in your neck. The strangely intimate act was not in Billy's character. "I'm sorry." He whispered to himself more than you. You weren't even sure if he knew he said it. Your arms wrapped around his back and he let you just hold him for a second. If this was some sort of manipulation tactic he was better than you thought. Billy cleared his throat as he pulled away.

"I guess I'll see you Monday." You nodded not trusting your voice. "Call me if you need anything." Billy added as he walked outside heading towards his car. "Bye." Your voice cracked and you quickly shut the door locking it. Instead of sliding down the door like they do in the movies you laid face down on the couch. Screaming you lungs out into the throw pillow seemed to attract the attention of the boy upstairs. "You okay Betty Crocker?" Stu said almost jumping down the stairs. "You want to go cliff diving?" You asked as you carefully rolled off into the floor.

Stu joined you on the carpet. "Can we drive off the cliff Thelma and Louise style?" You smiled cuddling up into his side. "Absolutely." You wanted to ask if he heard your discussion but with how red his face was you assumed he already knew. "Is Y/n your real name?" There was a calming sincerity to his voice. "I wouldn't lie about that. Well actually that's a lie, yes I would." He laughed covering his eyes with his arm. "But no I'm not lying about that. I've got my birth certificate somewhere around here or I could just give you my social security number." You smiled up at him. "That works too."

Stu played records as you and him cleaned the kitchen. He felt betrayed by his best friend and he desperately needed the break. Stu would forgive Billy eventually, he always did. He knew you'd forgive him too if you hadn't already. That's just what Billy did. Ignorance is bliss, Stu learned that a long time ago. In the meantime, Stu was busy playing house with you.

(if your name has a line through it Tumblr wouldn't let me tag you)

Part 11

Taglist: @katie-tibo @agustdeeyaa @bowlofceral @gonnapermashift @tati-the-fangirl @kozumewhore @tatijoestar @illyanam1011 @c4rved-pumpk1n @msghostface @gojosbucket @sammanna @lokigirlszendaya @reneki @fetusharryluvr @kadu-5607 @pumpk1n-writes @lovekeeho @tojisblood @zeysartzone @bluedevilss @life-of-music3 @flyestvenustrap @littleblondesoprano @imobsessedreader @loomiscorpse @nicciekawegosblog @reneemunson @miss-puregotti @ksgsfsgaj @zoleea-exultant @briefwinnerpersonaturtle @mistydreamscape @l4venderia @nex-crowley @ashreblogsnow @brynaa223 @your-desire666 @billyloomiswhore4 @holyladyofsorrows @megluv1 @ellieswifeiya @yoluvrz @forallthstarsinthesky @madsothree @youcantbesirius @lubunnii @captainhowdysseptum

[foxufortunes]

Hang on I'm having a Kevin Defender moment. Like I know the Kevin and Jean and the Nest situation is pretty polarising for a lot of people, but I do think we're kind of too harsh on Kevin about it sometimes. Like, you it's a bit weird that was never hear of how close he and Jean were in the Nest, but then you can rationalise that by saying a lot of Kevin's really harsh recovery (the "omg what have I do let me go back I need to go back and save Jean" period) was likely done off screen pre-Neil. And then, pre-Neil goes to the Nest, Neil wasn't actually that friendly with the Monsters. Most of what we hear of Kevin and the Ravens isn't from Kevin, it's from people like Nicky and Wymack. And let's be real, Neil probably wouldn't have cared even if he had been told about Jean, the boy's mind is very focused and Jean is not one of the things it's focused on. So that can all sorta be made sense of.

But then you've got TSC and the EC and what went down. And this is framed from Jean's pov so of course he's hurt. Kevin used him as a distraction to get out of the Nest in a desperate situation and because he revealed the secret of their both knowing French, and this put Jean in a worse position. Sure, but Kevin was begging to be helped. He was being beaten within an inch of his life and bones broken and his one reason for living destroyed. And maybe I read wrong or missed something, but Jean didn't help him. He tried to fix him up after sure, but he didn't help him. And, while it's fine to say that Jean couldn't step in because then he'd be beaten, why then think that Kevin shouldn't be any less selfish? His "if you ever cared about me, distract him" (I can't remember the exact quote off the top of my head) could just have easily been "you didn't help me when he broke my hand, so do it now". Because, let's be real, the books are very clear on this, if Kevin didn't leave the Nest, he would be dead by now. Exy is his only reason for living as much as it is Riko's. Without it, he wouldn't have survived. And that's not to say Jean doesn't have the right to be bitter and hurt by Kevin's actions, (these are two hurt, abused boys, they're going to be messy and angry as much as people like Andrew are messy and angry just in a different way) but that for a fandom who loves to insist their narrators are unreliable you sure do rely on them and take their view of things as true and accurate and the right way to feel a lot. They're all right and they're all wrong. That's what happens with messy traumatised people and cults.

[fairvstairs]

HOTD SPOILERS!!!

I often think about the adult foxes life, especially the mundane things they do. Does Nicky watch Heartbreak High? Does Allison love Renee Rapp (and Renee Walker)? Does Kevin read sports romance?

I think about Aaron and Andrew, bonding over Game of Thrones (if you could call arguing about the characters that) and waiting every week for a new episode of House of the Dragon. I think about Neil shit talking the show (he thinks the directors are obsessed with r*pe scenes and can you really blame him?) only for him to stop in his tracks when Andrew is watching it in their living room because damn, they are riding freaking dragons.

("They look alike" "They're uncle and niece" "Oh, they are holding hands so I thought they were a couple" "They are." "What the fuck are you watching!?") (someone please get the reference)

I think about Aaron watching the season 1 finale, feeling sad because of Lucerys but also because he knows he's gonna hardly hear from his brother until season 2 drops. I think about him watching Helaena choose between her twins and knowing that his mother would have saved him. Him watching two twins at the opposite sides of a war fight each other, one killing the other and then himself. Aaron looking at his phone for hours because this time, Andrew didn't text him.

"Andrew would do it," he thinks "he would kill me if I wanted to hurt Neil but then he would punish himself."

And Aaron doesn't like Neil, he is annoying, he brings trouble everywhere he goes and he has a smart mouth. He doesn't like him, period. But he would never try to hurt him. Not when this is the happiest he has seen his brother. Not when he is the reason there was supposed to be a text waiting for him.

"What happened?"

Suddenly Andrew's voice is talking in his ear.

"What?"

"You don't like talking on the phone and yet you called me so, what happened?"

"I called you?"

A beat.

"Are you drunk? Where is Katelyn?"

"What!? No, no I'm not drunk. She is at work- why didn't you text me?"

The words come out before he even has a chance to think.

"The new episode came out, you always text me and now you didn't, why?"

"We are on our way to the airport, we had an away game. I haven't watched it yet. I'll text you when I do."

"Oh, alright then."

And Andrew is a bit confused by this interaction until he actually watches the episode. The dragons are cool, the actors amazing and he recognizes amazing fashion choices when he sees them, but truth is he doesn't really like how the show handles some topics. He is never gonna say it out loud though. He is Andrew, he does what he wants. He's watching the show because he wants to, no one is making him do it.

But, of course, Neil notices. He sees how the blonde doesn't look directly at an assault scene, how he mutes the TV during the little boy's murder because the noises are too real, how he shakes his head at Helaena's (if that's her name) reaction, how he reaches out his hand for Neil to hold, how he spends the rest of the day in silence. Most importantly he notices how, at the end of the day, when they are in bed, in each other's arms, Andrew takes a deep breath and picks up his phone to text his brother. Aaron immediately responds.

This is my first time posting something and English is not my first language so please be kind. I saw the new HOTD episode and I couldn't help but think about the Minyard twins, I had to get this idea out of my head. I think the show would be a little triggering for Andrew but that he would overall enjoy it, I don't think he would pass up an opportunity to "bond" with Aaron but I also don't think he would do anything he doesn't want to do. Anyway, these characters don't belong to me so these are not their canon personalities!

[smolbluebirb]

thinking thoughts about Billy and Max's relationship - specifically that Max needs as much of a sibling character growth arc as Billy does.

I've seen lots of fics examine the siblings' relationship and have Max's view on Billy suddenly shift once she finds out about Neil's abuse. Max develop a sudden well of empathy and understanding for Billy once she learns that his dad beats him. and honestly I enjoy that characterization and it's very much my cup of tea - but it's not what I expect from their canon portayals. I don't think Max would see the abuse in the same light as we do.

I've heard that Runaway Max makes it canon that Max knows - has literally watched - Neil beat Billy. and gone on the next day still hating him, and maybe even believing that Billy deserves it. that, horrifying as it is, seems a lot more realistic to me.

bear with me here: a story about me and my younger sibling to give perspective into my point about Billy and Max.

I've got a little brother. our family has lots of problems, but our relationship was never great as kids just cuz I didn't want anything to do with him. both of our parents are youngest siblings and I've been getting sat down for talks since I was a toddler about how he deserved a nice older sibling, and I ought to share all my toys with him and play with him whenever he wanted and be his best friend because that's all they ever wanted from their older siblings. and I resented that. I hated the unfairness of me being expected to cater to him because I was arbitrarily older.

so I wasn't particularly cruel, but I was certainly rude, and I did everything I could to make it clear that I didn't want anything to do with him. and he would go straight to our mom and say I was being mean - and I would get beaten, or lose meal privileges for a few days, or have everything taken out of my room and locked in there for a day or two.

I was in some kind of trouble all the way into middle school, and it made me really, really angry because I had never asked for a sibling. I wasn't mean, I didn't mess with his stuff, I didn't have problems with anyone else outside of the house. but because I was the older sibling, he got to hold all the cards and I could be nursing bruised ribs for weeks because he felt like telling our parents I refused to play lightsabers with him.

but as I headed into highschool he got a gang of friends and was happy to spend his time off with them, so he left me alone for the most part. I still wanted nothing to do with him but it was finally mutual, and I mostly got a break.

here is where it ties into Billy and Max.

when he was twelve, we started going to this little hick cowboy church. I had always been a people person and super popular with adults and peers alike, but I was also super into literature at that stage of life and developing some nasty mobility disabilities, and I started being bullied very badly by the people there for wanting to hang inside and read instead of playing football, volleyball, etc. outside with them. they were VERY hick, man. demonize higher education, a man is out in the field, a woman is in the kitchen, hick.

and that became a very, very regular occurrence.

and one day at home, he waltzed into my room and started telling me at length how I was worthless and no one liked me or wanted me around and I should do everyone a favor and just disappear.

people love my brother, man. they did then, they do now. he works full time with kids, mentoring them and shit. he's good at it. he's not necessarily nice, he's always had a caustic brand of humor, but it's the kind people find hilarious. hell I find it hilarious. it's a lot like Max's in the show.

and you know what? when our mom dragged us to a dinner together years later, as adults, and whined about why we weren't close, I brought up the period in our lives where I was extremely suicidal (I attempted multiple times around then and they are well aware) and all the remarks he'd make. I pointed out that he'd never given me any form of apology, nor had he ever made an effort to build a relationship with me, so I saw no reason to reach out to him.

and he looked me dead in the eye and said he wasn't sorry, and it was my fault if I'd been that bothered by what he said.

that kid was raised from infancy being told that he had every right to demand my time and attention and walk past my boundaries. that kid heard from his friends that it sucked he was stuck with a loser for an older sibling. that kid saw every beating I took and every suicide attempt I made and all the health complications I have from childhood malnutrition and mistreatment as my own fault for not being a better older sibling - because that's what everyone fucking told him his whole life.

so. Max Mayfield.

I wanted to share all this with ye peeps of Tumblr because it seems like a lot of people have genuinely never come across a situation like I grew up in. that it isn't a perspective that's easy for other people to slide into.

most of what we know about Billy comes from Max's perspective of Billy. and where does Max's perspective of Billy come from?

consider every time she hears Neil tell him to be responsible. that he's wasting his life going to parties. that his music is trash. to be a real man. to show some respect.

we know that there's nothing wrong with metal music and teenagers party and that Neil's version of respect and responsibility is toxic as hell - but Max doesn't necessarily. Max knows that her new older brother is rude and always getting in trouble. Max knows that her parents say he should be nice to her and spend time with her and give her things and he doesn't.

we learned about Billy's abuse and saw him in a new light because we know there is nothing that warrants a minor being beaten. and we know the psychological impact being raised like that can have. and we can imagine how Billy could be if he was given a safe, healthy environment instead of the horror of a homelife he has in the show.

but as a kid in that household in the 1980s, Max doesn't. Max hears from her dad that Billy deserves it and sees from her mom that it's fine and hears from her friends that Billy is the worst.

and I just don't see Max realizing that it's horrible that Neil beats Billy. I see her doing things that'll get him in trouble anyway and thinking that he's an asshole so he probably deserves it.

and after the nailbat to the nuts, I think Billy backing off and their relationship stabilizing has less to do with him being scared of Max and more to do with her finally being willing to keep up her end of the status quo of completely ignoring each other, now that she has friends to fill her time with.

and most importantly - I don't think this makes Max an awful person. I think she's a product of her environment and I think she's a kid so she has very little control over that environment.

I think we, the fandom, like to go with the easy answer that of course Max's view of Billy will change once she learns of Neil's abuse because we don't want to think of Max as being the little sibling who will tell you to kill yourself and stand by it years later. she can say "sometimes I wished he was dead" and that's okay because she regrets it now, but I'm suggesting that if Billy hadn't died, Max wouldn't have regretted it.

and I think Max both needs and deserves a character arc of recognizing that her parents were wrong and their treatment of Billy wasn't okay and that she was wrong and her treatment of Billy wasn't okay, either.

I'm not blaming Max. I don't blame my little brother. when you're a kid and you have fucked up parents, you end up where you end up. but then, you have the chance and the responsibility to learn better and do better. and we explore that with Billy all the time, but to get Max from Point A to Point B, she has to go through all that too.

Billy hurt Max, but Max hurt Billy too. they were both kids. they both have to learn better.

[misscammiedawn]

Would you like to share any opinions on RUSH? You get extra points if they’re hot takes.

*HIGH PITCHED SQUEEEEEEEEEEE*!!!

Penny? I love you! Thank you for unleashing my thoughts!

VERY WELL! Let us begin!

I'm gonna list them in random order

- Time Stand Still is best music video and anyone who disagrees is being a grinch!

- Our favorite album is Roll the Bones and our favorite Live CD is A Show of Hands! I think Rush in Rio and Permanent Waves are the *best* though!

- They should just release the Different Stages live recording. It's pretty much out there as extra features on the other DVDs!

- The Clockwork Angels book and graphic novel are pretty average but are worth it for making Seven Cities of Gold not suck. The worst song is the best chapter of the novel

- I would buy a Blu-Ray that is just the backing videos for the live videos and I hate that the only backing vid that exists in full form is By-Tor from Rush in Rio (as an Easter Egg)

- Emotion Detector is the most underrated Rush song and I would have preferred Tom Sawyer or YYZ not get played in one of the tours to accommodate it in a concert! Only 44 songs have never been played live before and of them the only one that I think deserved to be played more is Vapor Trail because it is the ONLY title song of an album never played live (after Presto was pulled out for Time Machine)

- It is pronounced Why-Why-Zed. It is spelt Vapor Trails. The American spelling of Vapor is essential to the song's message

- Analog Kid is Alex's best song, Ghost of a Chance and Between The Wheels are second and third-- though live versions of Working Man are up there

- Geddy's solo at the end of Leave That Thing Alone (Time Machine Tour) is the exact peak of Rush, that was their highest point as a band!

- SARS Fest concert kinda sucked? Spirit of Radio with Paint It Black intro was amazing but the equipment was shot and they gave Alex a hot microphone. They also cut off the "encore" which just sucked. I am also a little salty that Rush were an opening band for the Stones *in Canada*.

- Tom Sawyer is overrated and they're not even Peart lyrics. Limelight and YYZ off of the same album are better.

- Neil's Ayn Rand period is a valid part of Rush history and provides so much extra context to The Garden. The same pen that wrote "begging hands and bleeding hearts will only cry out for more" ended his life with "the measure of a life is a measure of love and respect, the way you live and the gifts that you give, in the fullness of time it's the only return you can expect" - a man with a storied life as Neil with as much tragedy as he endured ended with him completely giving and loving in his heart when 35-40 years prior he wrote empathetically that "you don't get something for nothing"

- La Villa Strangiato is in my opinion not just the best instrumental but it is in contention for best Rush song period. I would never give it that title because it lacks Peart's lyrics and I find that people who say that have an irrational dislike of Geddy's voice... but it's still a valid take. Natural Science would get my all around best song badge. But best and favorite are not the same in my world and even still I mean *technically proficient* mixed with lyrics. I'll change my mind, likely. But that's my feeling right now.

- Geddy didn't get vocal training until before My Favorite Headache (2000) and Neil didn't get jazz drumming instruction until Burning For Buddy (1994). Both artists were just fine as they were but they perfected their arts and I prefer late era Rush because of that. The band never stopped evolving.

- I would have liked to have heard one of the solo album songs live (I Am The Spirit, Promise or My Favorite Headache) or have Bob and Doug do Take Off for a charity event like the South Park or Hawkings concerts last year. I *still* want that. Neil wasn't involved in the solo albums. It could still happen.

- I want a Jukebox Musical of Rush music so that The Body Electric isn't the only piece of fiction scored to Rush.

- Alex Lifeson could have been a comedian. He's one of the funniest humans on the planet.

- Peaceable Kingdom is better for having been the only song where lyrics were written after the music. Vapor Trail has amazing lyrics in general but I feel the limitation had positive impact and I wish Neil and the band did this practice more than once.

- Rush's improvised and last minute songs when they are running out of studio time are the best. Malignant Narcissism was the result of the album director seeing Geddy warming up with a vintage fretless bass and said "put that on the album" so they composed around the improvised riff, Force Ten was literally a last minute addition to Hold Your Fire. La Villa is said to have been recorded in a single take (I do not believe that legend as it wasn't in any of the biographies I have read). Rush just work best with limitations. They're a bunch of goofs and giving them a time limit makes them go into a Saitama style serious mode.

---

I could write tons more. But I'll call it there.

I like Rush.

A lot.

More than you think I do.

[elijowa]

The Nice and Accurate Observations of Good Omens by Elijowa, Fan

Being a Close Re-Watching of Season 1 in the Light of What We Now Know from Season 2

Containing therein Analyses of Crowley, Aziraphale and their Relationship throughout the Show

Episode One

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So I have a confession to make. I've only ever watched Good Omens Season 1 twice and Season 2 once.

I know, I know, I need to get my priorities straightened out! How can I possibly be a fan if I've only got a mere 18h of watch-time under my belt? What can I say? Life keeps on getting in the way.

Anyway, I decided to treat myself with a close re-watching of Season 1 and see what jumps out at me now that we have new information from Season 2. You're very welcome to follow along or ignore these ramblings as you please!

So, without further ado, I present my thoughts on S1E1.

(Much, much more below the cut)

Let's start with the big one:

Crowley and Aziraphale don't appear to be in love - or even "in like" - during Episode 1.

So, picture this: I'm settling down with lots of warm fuzzy anticipation for all the stolen glances and hesitant hand gestures between Aziraphale and Crowley that I was sure I had either missed or forgotten about from my previous two viewings, and I make a surprising discovery:

There aren't any.

They barely seem to like each other in this episode - they are quite distant and snarky with each other (not the affectionate teasing banter that we've come to know and love, but almost a condescending snideness).

I can't see this version of Aziraphale trusting this version of Crowley to aim a live firearm at him (in fact, in the very next episode, he isn't even comfortable with the demon pointing a paintgun at him). And this version of Crowley would not dream of following Aziraphale around to help him fulfil his dream of being a professional conjuror, and actually actively discourages him from pursuing the notion (although, as many people have pointed out, it's amusing to think that this is because of happened the last time he did this).

So what gives? If there are people saying that the ending of S2E6 doesn't make sense (it does) because it betrays the millennia-long journey these characters have been on (it doesn't) - then I feel like we ought to be having that same discussion about the beginning of S1E1.

OK, OK. Obviously there are lots of 'out-of-universe' reasons for this inconsistency in the portrayal of C & A's relationship. This is the first episode of a new series and not all of the audience will be familiar with these characters; it's necessary to start them in the position of being hereditary enemies in order to give them room to grow and change; the show is a faithful adaptation of the book in which there's basically no romantic tension between the A & C at all, and Neil Gaiman is on record saying he didn't want to make any big changes this relationship, since he could sadly no longer consult with Terry Pratchett. Plus, S2 hadn't been written at this point, so there are undoubtedly details that Mr Gaiman didn't yet know with regards to the shared history of Crowley and Aziraphale while writing S1.

My current theory is that the infamous "You go too fast for me Crowley" line was NOT Aziraphale saying "please be patient with me because I need more time to catch up to where you are in our relationship". Rather, it was him saying, "I can't keep doing this. It was fun while it lasted but it's time I grew up, faced reality and put this silly little crush behind me. So goodbye forever." And he meant it.

But where's the fun in just talking about real-world reasons when we can come up with lots of juicy headcanons instead?!

From Crowley's point of view, I think that by now he'd be used to Aziraphale having periodic wobbles about their friendship. And so, from experience, he knows the best way to handle it is to back all the way off until Aziraphale has 'completed his process', is ready to re-engage again - maybe in a couple of hundred years - and things can go back to what Crowley thinks of as normal.

But knowing all this doesn't make it any less hurtful or frustrating to be rejected because of who he is. So maybe Crowley throws himself back into his bad boy role with a bit more venom than usual - still not doing anything directly evil per se, just enough to tick the boxes on some Hellish paperwork (bringing down mobile networks, designing the M25). Maybe he's more likely to foment discontent while simultaneously not really caring about anything he does either way, because what's even the point if he doesn't have his angelic foil around to wind up/impress?

And normally they would both have about a century or two to successfully work through their respective feelings, and so when they eventually reconnect they can slip back into their comfortable familiarity with relative ease. But the birth of the Antichrist screws up this schedule, truncates both of their coping processes, and means neither of them are quite ready to be best buds again. Hence their 'more prickly than what we might expect' attitudes towards each other in Episode One.

Hooo boy. I feel like I've barely even got half way through all the things I noticed and want to talk about in S1E1, but I think I need to save it for another time or we'll be here for all ineffable eternity. Well done if you made it this far and thanks for coming along for the ride!

[jisungjuice]

Thriving

Neil remembered reading about a study somewhere that claimed that the more you looked at a person, the more attractive they became.

That must be what was happening with Andrew.

Neil had never been exactly subtle with his staring before, but it was starting to turn into a problem when all he wanted to do was look at Andrew. And play exy, of course.

Most days he got to do both at the same time and it was the best part of his day.

Then again, that study had probably been about looking at people for a relatively short period of time, and while they didn't change, your perception of them did. Andrew had been slowly changing and Neil hadn't stopped looking at him for the past two years straight.

The lack of drugs in his system combined with living through the first relatively stress-free period of his life meant Andrew's appetite had increased quite a bit.

It was impressive to watch, really. He started putting away almost twice as much food as before, and then as a consequence started lifting more too, putting energy behind his gym sessions that Neil had never seen before. Andrew didn't like to admit it, but Neil knew he was tracking his progress and felt accomplished whenever he hit a new goal weight. Neil was proud of him every time.

On the other hand, Andrew would never weigh himself unless Abby required it for checkups, but Neil knew he couldn’t care less about that number.

Which, of course, drove Kevin absolutely up the wall. He had been in Andrew’s case about his eating from the very beginning.

“That’s not healthy.”

“You’ll ruin your performance.”

“Do not get another serving.”

“You’re making yourself slower.”

Andrew hadn’t bothered to respond to him the first few times and merely limited himself to showing Kevin up in court, where, if anything, Andrew was moving even faster than before and the power behind his swings was downright frightening.

Still, Kevin wasn't anything if not persistent and he kept berating Andrew for every choice he made. Neil was surprised Andrew had played indifferent so long, but he himself was getting sick of Kevin's rude comments.

"And another thing," Kevin continued as they tried to play the movie Nicky had chosen. "You could have gotten the fruit options."

"I did," Andrew replied enthusiastically as he took the ice creams from the freezer. "Strawberry and mango."

"Yeah but you got those for Neil, you're not eating anything other than full-fat cookies and cream and chocolate."

Andrew didn't dignify that with a response. Neil was already on edge from trying to get the DVD player to work after Nicky and Aaron knocked it over earlier. He gritted his teeth and stared at Andrew and Kevin in the kitchen.

"You think you burn all those empty calories off in the gym and in the court, but if you did, you wouldn't be growing a belly."

Andrew froze, and the whole dorm with him. Even Aaron and Nicky stopped fighting over the good bean bag chair and looked up.

So far, Kevin had only commented on the food itself, both the quality and quantity, as well as the hypothetical consequences it would bring to the court. He had never mentioned Andrew's body, an invisible boundary that Neil thought Kevin wouldn't be stupid enough to cross.

Andrew was deadly still, his back to Kevin, and Neil's blood was boiling, so he decided to do something about it.

"Hey-"

He barely got a word in when Andrew shoved Kevin back against the counter, tip of a blade less than a breath away from Kevin's chin.

"Shit," Nicky breathed out.

Neil didn't like seeing Andrew being this violent in any circumstances, but part of him couldn't help but be glad Kevin wasn't getting away with every stupid thing to come out of his mouth.

Andrew calmly looked into Kevin's eyes. Kevin was a lot less afraid of Andrew as he had once been and a lot more courageous in general, but still, he knew the kind of thing Andrew was capable of.

"Anything else to add?" Andrew asked him and let the blade graze Kevin's skin.

Kevin swallowed. "No."

Andrew waited another beat and then stepped away from Kevin, grabbing the ice creams and headed for the living room.

No one else spoke the rest of the night, and when Neil finally got the movie on, he sat down with a big scoop of cookies and cream ice cream just to spite Kevin. Kevin glared at him, but then so did Andrew because he was eating some of his ice cream.

Kevin did stop bringing up Andrew's habits and body, especially after ExyWorld magazine named Andrew the most sought-after goalie in Class I Exy. Still, he eyed Andrew's platefuls of foods with distaste and made loud comments about his own nutritional achievements, whatever they might be. Neil wasn't paying attention.

Neil was paying attention to the way Andrew's biceps bulged when he reached up to towel off his hair after a shower. The dorm was empty, Kevin having gone out with Thea for the night and everyone else too busy with studies to bother them.

They had already done stuff… twice, actually. And then Andrew had sent Neil out of the room, so Neil showered first and then waited for Andrew to do the same.

Andrew had no problem being shirtless around Neil now, which Neil both appreciated immensely and also found destructive for his already limited attention span.

"Stop looking at me like that," Andrew told him.

"Like what?" Neil asked, still looking.

He merely raised an eyebrow as if it should be obvious.

They didn't so much cuddle as they laid next to each other, sometimes touching, sometimes not, and each doing their own thing. Andrew would read or play with his phone, and Neil would watch a game on Kevin's laptop or take a nap. Recently, though, Andrew had been using the video game console Neil bought for him. He'd seen Andrew eyeing it at the store once and knew he would never buy it for himself. Neil didn't understand video games, but he did understand Andrew and he wanted him to have something for himself that he didn't have to share, and this colorful hand-held device was perfect.

Andrew kept it hidden from both Aaron and Nicky and only used it when they weren't around, and even though Neil didn't understand the games, he liked to watch Andrew play. He particularly liked it when Andrew worked on his digital island.

Andrew grabbed the console and got on the bed next to Neil. He smelled clean and fresh and Neil wanted nothing more than to press his face against Andrew's neck and breathe him in, even though that's exactly what he had been doing half an hour ago.

"Can I lie on your chest?"

Andrew looked away from the screen to stare at Neil. They had never done that before. Andrew sometimes let Neil touch his bare chest, but having his head there casually was new and Neil wasn't sure how Andrew would feel about it. He seemed to be considering it.

"Yes."

He made space for Neil, opening one arm for him to tuck himself there. Andrew's skin was cool against Neil's cheek, but he would warm up soon enough with this closeness. When Neil was settled, Andrew draped his arm around him to hold the console with both hands. Neil was trapped in the best way possible between Andrew's chest and his bicep.

Andrew was soft and sturdy all at once and Neil couldn't help but sigh in comfort. Feeling the muscle underneath made Neik think about all the work Andrew put into his bench presses at the gym. His pecs were easily twice as big as Neil's.

Neil watched as Andrew watered the flowers on his island and listened to his heartbeat. It had been rather fast a moment ago but it was now calming down. Neil almost smiled.

"Hand on your stomach. Yes or no?"

Again, Andrew considered the question but it took him less time now. "Yes."

Neil placed his hand on Andrew's stomach and did smile then. His fingers twitched, but he kept his hand still, the only movement coming from Andrew's breathing.

"You can move your hand. If you want," Andrew said. Neil nodded.

He didn't know what it was about Andrew's body recently; in general Neil had never really gotten what the hype was all about when it came to body parts or features. After all, Andrew and Aaron were practically identical-- or had been, Andrew's recent changes had been making the twins easier and easier to tell apart-- and yet Neil was most definitely not into Aaron.

But his current adoration for Andrew's soft and strong physique was undeniable and he didn't care to scrutinize every single reason why, he just wanted to bury his head in Andrew's chest and have his hands around every curve, muscle, and dimple that Andrew allowed, showing him how much Neil appreciated all that he was.

So Neil slowly moved his hand over Andrew’s skin, seeing some goosebumps erupted along the way near his thick waist. Andrew didn’t react otherwise and just kept playing, but Neil thought he was enjoying the contact. They didn’t practice a lot of non-sexual touching but if Andrew was okay with it, Neil would like to do it more.

They stayed like that for a while, Neil running his hands over Andrew’s torso and feeling like he could do this forever. Andrew needed to know how beautiful he was.

“You know I like your body, right?”

Andrew tensed. “Shut up.”

Neil stilled his hands, careful for a moment. “Shut up as in ‘Don’t ever bring this up again’ or shut up as in ‘I hate you’?

Andrew had already asked him in the past not to say certain things to him, so if this was the case again Neil will never mention it in the future.

Andrew’s heart beat faster. “I hate you.”

Neil smiled. “It’s true. I’d never said it so I wasn’t sure you knew.”

“I’ve never said that to you either,” Andrew pointed out.

“Yes, but you didn’t have to. I know.”

Andrew twisted his head down to look at him. “Oh?”

Neil shrugged. “You said you wanted to blow me.”

Andrew looked back at the game. “That doesn’t prove anything.”

“Well, I just wanted to make it clear. I really like your body.”

Andrew was quiet for two heartbeats. “I hate you. Shut up.”

Neil began moving his hand again and snuggled his cheek into Andrew’s chest a bit more to emphasize his point. Slowly, Andrew’s heart returned to a normal, calm beat and Neil thought that if this remained the same, then everything else could change around them and maybe he’d be okay after all. They would be.

[uncloseted]

Idk if you were around for this but remember when Tumblr did that thing where they edited one of John Greens textposts to make it sound like he was saying sexual stuff? What was up with that? I know he's kind of a YA-2010 guy who might be a little cringe to ppl nowadays but he seems like a nice person, I just never understood why they did that to him (and then some people blamed him for Tumblr taking off the editing option for posts lmao)

I was around for this! I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I still have a lingering dislike of John Green from this era of Tumblr, even though I don't think it's deserved.

So basically, John Green had a Tumblr account (and maybe still does?). This by itself isn't unusual; there are lots of authors who post on Tumblr regularly, including Neil Gaiman. But John Green's presence on Tumblr tended to be very...

This was fine for a while. There was a period of time on Tumblr really liked him. Tumblr used to think of him as the "dad" of the platform. He had a kind of cringey earnestness that people initially found endearing.

But increasingly, his writing fell out of favor on Tumblr due to criticisms of his work as being unrealistic at best and actively harmful at worst. The way that he tried to defend himself didn't really help his case and kind of got memified. The biggest example of this is when he posted about the movie of his book, The Fault in Our Stars:

People put together "Your Fave is Problematic" posts about him that started circulating, and one popular post compared him to, "that dad of a kid in your friend group who always volunteers to "supervise" the pool parties and scoots his lawn chair close to all the girls." Another person said that, “isn’t it suspicious that Green writes about subjects that specifically appeal to teenage girls?” (Interestingly, we're seeing this same type of criticism leveraged at Sam Levinson for writing Euphoria).

Instead of ignoring it, as one should do with trolls, he wrote an impassioned post that, while definitely not incorrect, didn't help the situation:

This all culminated in the "cock post", where someone edited one of John Green's posts to say:

It should be noted that this kind of changing people's posts in the reblogs for comedic effect was fairly commonplace at that time, and there was kind of an understanding that the person who's post was changed didn't actually say whatever it was. For example, the staff would get a lot of edits where people would make them say "the users are still here, we have to change something else" or "for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits". John Green took this joke very seriously and again responded by doing the one thing you should never do when dealing with trolls, which is to write an impassioned post that takes the joke seriously.

Around then was the point at which he quit Tumblr, and when Tumblr stopped allowing people to edit other people's posts.

As for why Tumblr targeted John Green in particular, I'm not sure there's one answer. I think it had a lot to do with how accessible he was and how eager he was to be the dad of his own fandom. I think people had this image of what he was like, and any time he violated that image by not being perfect, they would get angry. I also think that eventually, the fact that he was trying so hard to get his fans to like him marked him as "uncool"- he got hit by the "Anne Hathaway Effect", if you will.

I think this hatred of John Green was probably fueled by people who were once big fans of his books and wanted to be like the manic pixie dream girls that were omnipresent in his writing, only then to switch sides in an attempt to show that they were intellectual and "not like other girls" (something similar happened with Twilight). I think he was an easy target for people's overall frustrations with their lives because he was a very successful white guy, and they felt like nothing they said or did could impact his life in any real way. I also think Tumblr has been very puritan for a long time; anytime someone gets "cancelled" on Tumblr, they're aggressively cancelled, even if the infraction itself is minor. The Tumblr community has historically taken accusations very seriously, whether they have any basis in reality or not. So all of that combined into a perfect storm where John Green became a target and left the platform as a result.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Californian Dream (Pt. 10 of 11)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.5 K

Summary: Being part of one of the richest families of California doesn't mean you're happy. Your life is boring, and you're surrounded by meaningless people and their meaningless talk. Even during Summer, with the break you have from college, there's nothing good going on. Nothing but the new pool guy, Billy, the most handsome man you ever saw. You were successfully avoiding him, not wanting to act like an idiot in front of the guy until Billy accepts to be your date for a fancy gala you're forced to attend. The night was going well, even better when he sneaked you out to go to the beach. But a gang of criminals breaks into the party, kidnapping the heirs to the wealthiest families, which includes you. So, for your safety, your parents want you to stay with Billy, living in his apartment until the criminals are caught. And that could take weeks, maybe even months.

Warnings: Light violence

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{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

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Home

“It won't take long now,” Billy mutters, his hand holding yours are you both walk through the beach. Everyone is at the snack bar, eyes on the TV, getting all the details about the most famous gang being finally arrested. “Your father will call and you can go back home.”

“I know.” Moving a strand of hair away from your face, you look down as the ripples reach your feet. “I'll go. Spend the night there and on the next morning I'll tell them.” The plan comes up suddenly because that's the best you can give them. A last night in the house before moving out for good. “I'll tell them I'll drop out of college and look for something I really wanna study. That we're dating and I'll be living with you.”

“Are you sure about this? Because you know they won't let it go that easily.”

“I know and I don't care.” Stopping, you move to stand before him, cupping his cheeks. “I mean, you still want me to live with you, right?”

“I do.” Leaning closer, Billy kisses you, soft and slow. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you tiptoe. “And I need you to know that I won't accept the money your father said he'd give for... Sheltering you.”

“Baby, you can accept it. I don't mind.”

“I can't. Having you at my place was... It is amazing, all the money in the world wouldn't be enough to pay for what you gave me.” Biting your lip, you smile at his words, causing him to raise an eyebrow. “What?”

“You're so romantic.” In a sassy tone, you step back when his face changes, ready to run if necessary.

“Just don't tell anyone,” Billy whispers, and, in a sudden motion, he moves forward, arms around your waist, lifting you up.

“I won't!” You exclaim, laughing as he spins you around before setting you down again. “It'll be our secret.” Whispering on his ear, you giggle when a bigger wave hits your calves.

“I guess the future talk will happen sooner rather than later.” He states, pulling away before another wave soaks your skirt even more.

“Yeah... I guess so.” Clearing your throat, you blush a little to remember what he said earlier. “That, Uhm... About kids.” Wait. You shouldn't bring that up. It's way too soon, and be was probably kidding. “I mean, let's get real first. I'll drop off of college and focus on my job. I like it and maybe choose another course I like. Mmm... That's pretty much it. You?”

Billy gives you a look, shaking his head lightly. Trying to dissimulate with Billy is useless. You're an open book to him, you have been since day one. “Neil was a devil of a father. And I want to be better.” His voice gets darker at the mention of Neil. You don't know the man, but you hate him with all your strength for what he did to Billy. You hope you'll never see him face to face, or else you won't be able to keep from breaking his damn nose. “Of course I never actually thought of it before, but now... You just... You messed me up, ok? In a good way, but still, you messed me up and now I'm making plans.” Rolling his eyes dramatically, Billy sits down on the sand, and you do the same, climbing on top of him. “And that's all your fault.”

“My fault? I wasn't trying to make you fall for me.” Defending yourself, you push him down until he's lying on his back and you're lying on top of him.

“If you were trying, I'd have fallen for you when you gave me that lemonade.” He places a kiss on your nose, making you giggle. “Or even before, when I saw you walking around the house... Avoiding me.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I noticed that, princess.”

“Well, I couldn't talk to you and risk sounding like a complete idiot.” Taking both his hands, you hold them down on each side of his head, ignoring his cocky face. “And it's your fault for being so good looking.”

“Hey, hey! You two!” A yell gets your attention, and when you turn your head to see, you find Stacy and Anne. “We're watching you.”

“Creepy.” You mutter, moving off of him and back on your feet. “But guess the party isn't over yet, and honey, I want to dance.”

“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't dance with my lady.” In a quick motion, he's back up, arms around your waist as you make your way back to the bonfire.

•••

It takes three days until your father calls you. He doesn't say much, just that the gang is arrested and it's now safe for you to go back home.

Home. That house isn't home, but you comply, not wanting to make them sad or anything. So it's after lunch when Billy is driving you there, not a single thing with you. You didn't even bother to bring a bag to fake it. It'll be only one night, and then you'll sit and talk to them.

When you're moving through the gates, the same feeling you once had comes back. You feel suffocated, surrounded by all the things you don't care about. There will be a few people over, and they'll get into those meaningless conversations again, and they'll be looking at you, judging you. They'll talk about your clothes. They're normal, not insanely expensive. No... Your mother will make you go upstairs and change immediately. The lump in your throat only surrenders a bit when you feel Billy's hand on your thigh.

“You'll alright?”

“Yeah, just... Thinking about tomorrow. I'll talk to them, get my car, and when you're back from work, I'll be there.” That's your goal. That's what you're so damn excited for. Tomorrow evening, which will be exactly like the evenings you've been having for months. And you love every single one of them.

“I can't wait.” He gives you a glance and smiles. Your smile. The one that's not cocky and doesn't have a hidden meaning behind it. Not a sassy one. Just a bright, beautiful, genuine smile, that lights up his whole face.

The moment he stops the car by the front door, you get separated. You knew this would happen, so you're prepared. After hugs, tears, and welcomes from both your parents and the sea of people here, your mother guides you upstairs, making you change into a white dress with sunflowers. You don't complain, you just do as she says. For the last time.

Back downstairs, you see Billy and your father talking by the door. He tries to hand Billy a piece of paper, a paycheck probably, but Billy refuses. After a while, Billy leaves, but not before glancing at you. You know it's only for a short period, but you feel like part of your heart is going with him.

“(Y/N), honey?” Your mother calls. “Won't you answer Mrs. Vanner?”

“Oh, yes...” Shaking your head lightly, you try to focus on... Whatever they're talking about. “Sorry, what was it again?”

“I'm sure you're happy to be back home after so long having to live in such a small space.” Mrs. Vanner says, her fake, wide smile making it really hard not to roll your eyes.

Of course they know where you were now. Mother had to tell them, just for the sake of the gossip. “How can you possibly know the size of Billy's apartment?” You snap, not really trying to keep the sweet tone.

“Oh, please. Mr. Hargrove is the man who washes my son's car. How big can his place be.” She sounds so gentle, so plastic.

You should keep your mouth shut. You should play along, keep up the act until tomorrow morning, just until tomorrow morning. But you can't. You lost the ability to fake it. “Yeah. It is small. Your ego wouldn't fit in it.”

“(Y/N)!” Your mother exclaims, almost choking on her drink. “Where are your manners?”

“That's alright. Living with someone from a different class may have her used to different kinds of behavior.” Mrs. Vanner snaps, in an apologetic tone.

“Something we can agree on!” You exclaim, giving her a big smile. “That's a first.”

“(Y/N), that's enough.”

“I agree with that too.” Putting your drink down, you stand up from the armchair. “I'll head upstairs and rest for a bit.” Without saying anything else, you walk away, the high heels echoing through the empty spaces. But you stop in the middle of the stairs to kick them away before running to your bedroom.

But of course, there's a hell of a dinner. And, of course, you have to be there, nodding and smiling, pretending to pay attention to whatever they're saying. With your leg bouncing under the table, you play with your fancy food. Your mind floats back home. To the apartment. Billy is probably home already, eating what's left of the lasagna you made together yesterday. That lasagna is so much better than this boeuf bourguignon you're being forced to eat.

“Are you excited to go back to college, (Y/N)?” Mr. Eleanor asks, and you silently nod. “I bet you'll be an amazing lawyer just like your father over there.”

“Yeah.” Until they find you a rich husband and you have to abandon your career to turn into a housewife, with nothing to do but to administrate the house and spend rivers of money on useless things.

The dinner goes on for endless hours, and the small get together after has you exhausted. When you excuse yourself, getting to your bedroom, you fill up your tub and spend an hour or two there, trying to relax in a house that doesn't feel like yours anymore. It never did, but now, that feeling is amplified since you found a place you feel at home.

By the time you're in your pajamas, lying on the bed, it's way past midnight. The chattering died and everyone left, but still, you can't sleep. Kicking the sheets away, you get to your feet, walking to the balcony and breathing in the night air when you push the slide door opened. Billy fixed your railing. He was here before you even exchanged a single word with him. And you wish he was here now. With you. You didn't know exactly why you couldn't sleep, but now you do. Billy is always holding you, one way or another, and hugging the pillow doesn't compare. Is it what love is? Losing the capacity of falling asleep away from the person you love? Stepping forward, you let your fingers touch the cold metal, a smile coming to your lips.

California never felt like home. Until you found Billy.

Giving your huge garden a look, taking in the green grass and threes under the low lights, eyes wandering through its extension, you smile. And, in the blink of an eye, you know what to do.

The car keys are in the same place you left them, in a small vase on your dresser. Taking them, you put on the first pair of flats you find, having the decency of trying not to make too much noise on your way out. But you don't care, not anymore. On your way downstairs, you halt on the last step when you see Amelia, in her nightgown, coming from the kitchen with a mug in her hands. She's a little startled and confused, but her expression softens after a while.

“Don't try to stop me.” You say in a low voice.

“Are you going to be with Billy?” She asks, but by the look on her face, she already knows the answer. Amelie knows you too well, a lot better than your parents.

“Yes. I love him.” It comes out naturally, and it gives you a sense of freedom you can't describe. Saying it, here, is amazing.

“Then go, bunny.” Amelia smiles, and you rush to give her a tight hug before making your way to the garage, straight into your pink Cadillac.

You never enjoyed driving as much as you do now that you're going somewhere you wanna be. The streets are only half empty, and you decide to put the top down to feel the night air on your face, only to put it up again when you reach the parking lot. There are a few spaces, thank God, and you park on the first one you find, running up to Billy's apartment, panting after the six sets of stairs leading to the third floor.

But it doesn't matter. You're at his door, and it doesn't matter. You have the key, but the whole keychain is inside, so you have no choice but to knock a few times.

And when the door is open, a very sleepy Billy seems all confused, as if he just saw a ghost. “(Y/N)?”

“I couldn't sleep.” You simply say, keeping your voice as low as you can despite still trying to catch your breath.

His confusion fades away, and a smile takes over. “Me neither.” Stepping forward, Billy wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you inside with him before pushing the door close and crashing his lips on yours.

This was the right decision, as crazy as it seems. When Billy kisses you, you know that everything you did that led to this moment was right. He's pulling you to the bedroom when the phone rings. The damn thing has the bad habit of interrupting you.

“Let me–”

“No. I know who it is.” Cutting him off, you pull away, walking over the phone. You don't think much before answering it. “Hi, dad.”

“Wha– (Y/N)?” He stutters, and your mother says something on the back about her being right. “What the hell are you doing there? Your mother went to your room and you were gone, she almost had a heart attack!”

“I'm sorry. I'm at Billy's.”

“Why in the hell are you there? Get your ass back home now.”

“No.” You state, crossing your arms.

“What do you mean by ‘no’?” He scoffs. “What do you think you're doing?”

“Father, I'm an adult and I know exactly what I'm doing.” Taking a deep breath, you run a hand through your hair. “We have a lot to talk about, and I'll explain everything, I promise. Meet me tomorrow in your favorite restaurant at noon.”

“What? I won't–”

“If you want to know what's going on and why I came back here, you'll go. Tell mother to go as well. Have a good night.” Without allowing him to say anything else, you hang up. Turning to look at Billy, you sigh. “Call in sick tomorrow, because I'll need you with me.”

“I have a couple of days off I can use, don't worry.” He comes closer, pulling you into a tight hug. “I'll be right there with you.”

“They'll say all kinds of mean things, you know that, right?”

“I don't care.”

×

@multific @dontxfearxthereaper @nope-thanks @nikkixostan @shinydixon @clockworkballerina @infinitelycharmed23 @lilred91

[sebastianshaw]

What if Madelyne didn't leave? What if he "corrupted" her worldview?

OH MAN I think she would be a "villain" again but a different sort than she's been in anything else. As the Goblyn Queen, and just when she did bad stuff in this period as herself like killing Threnody, it's always been from a place of pain and lashing out, wanting vengeance. There's never any material gain for her. Whereas Shaw is almost exclusively about material gain. Likewise, Madelyne cares about other people; she's kinda funny in that, all the people she knows best, she wants to hurt now (Scott, the X-Men, etc) but she does absolutely care about innocent civilians she's never met. She cared about them pre-Inferno and, as we know, this period (hence why she left Shaw); the only time she's ok with hurting people who haven't hurt her was in Inferno, when, as we know, she wasn't in her right mind + was under demonic influence, so I don't think it's a normal part of her at all. Whereas Shaw is utterly indifferent to the suffering of other people, and was totally happy to make mutant-murdering machines for his own profit. They're pretty opposite brands of baddie. So, ergo, if Shaw is corrupting her, I think she'd start being more like him, versus just "Goblyn Queen all over again". I think she'd start prioritizing her own comfort and living well over the well-being of people she doesn't know, becoming more callous and complacent, etc. It'd really be very easy to do; it's very psychologically easy not to give a shit about something not in front of you. In fact, most people are like that to begin with, including many good kind people; Maddie was just exceptional. So I think it would be less a traumatic spiral like becoming the Goblyn Queen, and more, to paraphrase Neil Gaiman, a saunter vaguely downward. Probably a mirror of what happened to Shaw himself as a younger man, in fact. And eventually, she reaches the point where she's not only complacent with just ignoring harm done to others if it means she gets some gain via Shaw, she starts being actively complicit. Probably even takes over herself, she's an assertive go-getter and she was never content to stay in the background with the X-Men, I doubt she would be here either. I think she'd go from helping Shaw with his schemes, to downright committing her own. It'd be kinda interesting to see HOW she did it too, since her methods of attack are so different from Shaw's own. Shaw's typically a dude who does longterm hands-off schemes, subtle until caught and confronted, and only then does he fight physically. Whereas Maddie historically has just lashed out pretty openly with full force. Which fits since, again, her motives have always been emotional ones. But that approach doesn't really work well with how the Hellfire Club does things. . . but I don't think Maddie really cares about how anyone else conventionally does things, Claremontian ladies are always very frank about making their own rules and she's no exception. . . but I think she also is smart enough to know that attracting the attention of heroes or regular humanity isn't wise either. So I think she'd take a middle-ground approach. Probably stumble the first few times but once she finds her zone, she's deadly. Also, Shaw gets to be her sexy sidekick in a skimpy outfit.