#need his carbon footprint in my mouth

[thegreatobsesso]

🥴

What started as a couple slutty paragraphs has now turned into an unwieldy monster of a smut scene.

I know none of you know what I'm talking about. Nobody's ever had this happen to them, rite?

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✨ WIP intro

🔖 tag list: @winterandwords // @foxboyclit //@revenantlore

@space-writes // @indecentpause // @words-after-midnight

comment to be added or removed!

📝 all posts from WIP: gay crime bdsm story

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“Now, until I say otherwise, darling, you’ll hold this pose.”

He's got his boy in his lap in his bed, back flush with Octavius’s chest, arms up and hands clasped behind Octavius’s neck. He is naked as the day he was born, and Octavius is in nothing but one of his very favorite robes. Is it entirely gauche that it bears the crest of his own luxury underground bath house?

If it is, he doesn’t care. It’s not like he’d show up there wearing it, or show up there at all at the same time as patrons. 

“I’ll do my best,” Milo says, straining his neck to catch Octavius’s eye. 

“Interesting. That didn’t sound anything like yes, sir.”

“I said what I said.”

Milo’s testing boundaries - that’s new. And insufferably interesting.

“You’re aware all your actions in this room carry consequences?” he asks, wrapping a hand around Milo’s throat and delighting in the sensation of his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

“Of course, sir,” Milo gasps, but Octavius isn’t applying near enough pressure to make him hoarse, he’s just easy to rile. He’s also warm and light and he smells like fresh strawberries. Octavius may be hallucinating that last part. 

What? He’s not about to trip over his own feet trying to deny the effect Milo has on him sometimes.

“I think,” he muses, as if he hasn’t planned this all out ahead of time, “that while I slowly drive you out of your mind, we might watch some telly. What say you?”

“Mmm. Anything good on?”

“Let’s find out.”

When he flicks on the TV, he’s met with his own image. The first few minutes of the interview have already passed - he was too busy leisurely undressing Milo to note the time. Rebecca Collins is seated across from him in one the smaller but stately enclaves at his social club, wearing a pristine pinstriped dress and shiny heels. 

Milo chuckles. “You’re too much. You’re gonna get me off while we both watch you?”

A perfect setup. “Who said anything about getting you off?”

“Oh, sir. Please, I���ve been waiting all day.”

“How presumptuous. It’s almost as if you think you’re in control.”

Milo expels a melodramatic sigh and sinks into Octavius’s grip. “You’re mean.”

“You knew that long before tonight.”

He draws Milo’s earlobe into his mouth as he lets his hands roam. This position gives him an entire expanse of Milo parts to touch, and they were supposed to have cut the interview to last an hour, so he’s in absolutely no rush.

Of course, I’m aware of the responsibility that comes with running an enterprise as large as mine, he listens to himself prattle on the telly to his own amusement. I’ll level with you, Rebecca. Aside from the charitable arm of Sinclair Corp, we’re a business, and businesses exist first and foremost to make money. But there’s a way to do that while leaving a better, cleaner world for our children. We’ve been talking about how to reduce the company-wide carbon footprint since our 2015 leadership summit and we’re committed to reaching net zero by 2030, all while meeting the needs of an ever-changing work force.

“Is that true?” Milo asks breathlessly, even with Octavius’s hand dancing over his inner thigh.

“It’s not untrue.”

He drags a finger up the length of Milo’s cock and he shudders and laughs. “That’s not an answer.”

“Do you have a burning desire to dissect the intricacies carbon footprint calculations at the moment?”

He’s brought his thumb and forefinger together in a circle and is brushing it up and down Milo’s length, careful not to make too much contact.

“No, not really.”

“Excellent answer.”

“Sir,” he whines, lifting his adorable bum off the bed in perfect time with the movements of Octavius’s hand. “Are you really not gonna let me come?”

“I’m not sure yet. Time will tell.”

And as for the investigations - well, you won’t find a soul at the MPD who would call me anything but helpful. My tax returns are public and Sinclair Corp records are, quite literally, an open book. I’d welcome anyone to pour over the numbers. Hell, I’ll personally bring them a cup of tea. I’ve got absolutely nothing to hide. 

“Oh, sir, that’s so good.”

Octavius releases him. “Good boy,” he murmurs into his ear. “Which me is doing it for you more? The one tormenting you, or the swindler on the telly?”

“Both, sir,” he all but whimpers. “As if you didn’t know.”

Octavius can see his face from above, but for a moment he considers shifting position just for a better view. “If you think all the sass is helping your case, you’re sorely mistaken.”

He pinches Milo’s side, eliciting a yelp before returning to barely-there strokes. 

You were gifted a fortune from your parents, Rebecca says. At what point did you learn how dirty the money actually was?

From the moment she’d lobbed a hardball question his way at Eddie’s grave site, he knew he liked her. He is, in fact, musing on how entertaining it is to interact with people you’ve haven’t gotten fully stuffed into your back pocket yet when Milo unlaces his fingers.

He digs his nails into the back of Octavius’s hair. He drags his open palms down Octavius’s neck. 

“That does it,” he announces, and Milo’s snapped his hands back into the proper position before he even finishes the thought. “You’re going home hard, desperate and unfulfilled.”

Milo moans out loud, rutting against Octavius’s loose grip. “Oh, that’s... sir, I-”

...but the disappointing, dull truth is that my parents were businesspeople and socialites, much like myself. Although I admit to entertaining grand fantasies about their lives, as any little orphan might.

He’s so good he’s almost got himself on the hook. Milo’s turning into a snake in his arms, wriggling and squirming about. He tightens his grip, strokes him with intention.

Whenever Milo starts to shake or his head thunks back against his clavicle, he redirects his attention to another part of his body. Octavius could do this all night: work him up, bring him down. See how much he can take - it’s almost scientific. Where is the edge and how long can he keep him there? 

It probably sounds daft, but growing up in an upper-middle-class household in America was formative. Those six years instilled in me a solid work ethic and healthy appreciation for my parents’ well-earned funds. I worry if I’d had access to it the entire time, I’d have grown into a man severely lacking in humility.

“Sir, please, can I come?” The words come out in an almost panicked rush. Octavius simply tsks. 

“Mind your grammar. Of course you can come, but you’re asking me if you may.”

“Fuck,” he whines. “Sir, may I come?”

“No you may not.”

That pulls a certain noise of distress that’ll never fail to make him smile. “I can’t help it,” Milo gasps, writhing  against his body, creating all manner of delicious friction. “God, sir, please!”

“I said no.”

His pleas jump an octave and Octavius ignores them, keeping a steady rhythm, dragging his thumb over Milo’s head with every upward stroke. He knows Milo’s body well enough to recognize when he’s crested the point of no return; his toes curl and his thighs tremble and his head turns to the side. He strokes him right through it and straight into his inevitable climax, chuckling as Milo cries out and shakes in his arms. 

He might use this word too often where Milo is concerned, but watching him fight himself and fall to pieces is simply perfect. 

His boy collapses in his lap with a guilty giggle.

“Disappointing,” Octavius sighs, knowing full well Milo can sense the fondness behind it. “We haven’t even reached the part where I make the Fortune Global 500 and you’re already spent.”

Milo tilts his head back to meet his eyes, looking rather pleased with himself. “Sorry, sir.”

“You will be.”

He’s slowed the pace while Milo basks, but he picks up again without warning, firmly grasping his now-soft cock and resuming his work. Milo hisses in surprise.

“Ahh. Sir-”

“Hush. I told you not to come. If you’d have listened, you wouldn’t be in this predicament, would you?”

His boy quite smartly bites back whatever retort he had queued up but twitches against the overstimulation all the same, a startled little rabbit in a trap. Neither of them are paying attention to the telly anymore.

“You seem to think you can walk in here and take your pleasure whenever you want it,” he muses, taking special care to brush his head even more pointedly than before; the noises that result are too sweet for words. “We’ve got to teach you a modicum of control, darling.”

“Oh god, oh fuck, stop, stop!”

“Whose fault is it you’re so uncomfortable right now?”

“Mine, mine, I’m sorry, ah-”

“That’s exactly right. You’ve earned your punishment, now take it with dignity.”

He’s ready to halt at a safe word, obviously, but not for anything less. To his credit, Milo lasts another minute or two before his cries finally inspire a reluctant sliver of mercy. He lets go and gives his poor boy a moment to catch his breath.

“You’re evil,” he sighs, boneless with relief.

“What was that?”

Mischief sparkles in his eyes, even after all that. “I said, thank you, sir.”

And, well, Octavius cannot help but feel all warm and fuzzy looking at Milo’s upside-down post-torture grin. He leans down for a kiss, and even though he hadn’t planned on getting off tonight, all that squirming has gotten him quite hard indeed. He puts his fingers in Milo’s mouth and Milo immediately circles them with his tongue, closing his lips around the second joint.

“Trying to distract me from your terrible behavior?” he teases.

“No, sir. I just like sucking on you.”

Jesus, Mary, and all the saints, if Milo wasn’t sent to ruin him. He clears his throat.

“Hmm. Shall I release you and let you have at it, then?”

“Yes, sir. Please, sir.”

“I don’t think so,” he says, relishing the exaggerated little frown it earns him. “All you’re going to do is open your mouth for me while I take care of myself. I simply can’t reward your attitude tonight.”

Milo visibly bites back complaints as he slips down to the floor and in between Octavius’s knees. The hungry look in his eyes as Octavius free himself from inside his robe is almost more satisfying than having his mouth. Octavius takes to stroking himself while admiring Milo, all mussed up and flushed.

“I’ve become too lax with you,” he notes, watching Milo’s gaze dart between his eyes and his cock. “I think we’ve gotten you so riled up with the expectation of pleasure that you’ve forgotten your place, haven’t you?”

“Maybe so, sir,” he says, oh-so-innocent. “Even after punishment, I still feel a bit like disobeying.”

“Do you now?”

He’s paying far more attention to Milo than he is to himself, but when a drop of precum escapes, Milo darts forward without permission and licks it off.

And it’s the sensation, yes, but it’s also the unchecked boldness. The sheer, unrepentant disobedience. “Oh, you are playing with fire,” he growls, yanking Milo forward by the crown of his hair. “Show me your tongue, you insolent brat.”

Devoid of context, Milo might be catching snowflakes with his head tilted back like that, contented smile plastered across his face and tongue out for God and all the world to see. And to Octavius’s endless delight, Milo is already hard again by the time he finishes swallowing. 

Serves him right, he thinks fondly. He deserves to be denied, debased and spanked ragged. 

All Octavius does is reach out and gently run his fingers through the boy’s hair in the way he knows he likes. 

He simply cannot help himself. 

[the-zapped-part-timer]

Penn Zerothon Day 5

Brainzburgerz🍔

My Ramblings: Slaughterbots, Slug Soldiers and Rabid Space-Gerbils, oh my! We see two of those worlds later on, Galaxy World and Space World, very creative and different names, I know. But the Space World I believe doesn't make sense, we see how Penn reacts to that world so... eh, we see this wonky continuity from time to time, it's not aggregious.

Nice, Twin Pines reference. I enjoy all the names of the places at the mall:

Book Em

Carbon Footprints (something about shoes)

Ironic Tees

BACONS (something nutrition centers)

Wok Don't Run

Pasta-Away

And I couldn't read the rest

You don't need to be middle-aged to have a clicky knee, Boone. Sashi can use her brutality through being a security guard... not unlike real life!

We're so lucky that they didn't overuse Sashi's specs malfunctioning or breaking, it's ok from time to time. But at least it's not like the wands from the Fairly Oddparent's later seasons.

Montage Time! The first one? No, there's the impressing the princess one, so second! Boone should use his artistic ketchup talent from art class. Beautiful grease figure skating guys.

Boone's Arnold Schwarzeneggerism flares up again. Also, he could really be terrifying if he didn't have his delightfully Boone personality. Just imagine, evil Boone. He'd be more entertaining than Pilot Boone.

Oh no, not Samuelson!

Love Penn's 'tudeness in these moments, he's so over killing time.

Penn and Boone trembling like chihuahuas from zombie Samuelson, I feel you two, that's what I felt like when working and someone asks me where something I never heard of is.

Took Penn awhile for it to hit that, yes, that's how Boone screams. He's been screaming like that for quite a bit.

I don't think it's ethical to keep those howler monkeys in such small containers like that or sell them at all!

I love how Penn says: "Boone, there's no reason for you to be doing that." The fear in his voice.

WILHELM! So many reused zombies, it's ok, I don't mind.

That is indeed the worst idea you've had, Penn. I see what you were going for but damn... pretty bad. Zombie sailor just had the need to untie knots before anything else.

Surprised that Rippen has such good aim.

I'm so so very happy that Boone eating didn't become a main and continuous joke unlike the Pilot. He can be a bigger character and like to eat, that's fine! But if that's the main joke the show makes of him, that's bad. Like, that's all the Pilot mostly had for him. Anyways, stressing eating is valid but don't eat burgers off the street my guy. That's how you get zombied.

I want that special toy button.

Sashi there was literally no reason for you to do that! Just keep your mouths shut and out of the way! Grab them or kick them out of the air! SAAASHIIIII! Penn literally did that and used a flare gun!

Zombie dolphin... untapped potential for the zombie movie market.

I believe Sashi, Boone and Larry are the powerhouses of both teams. Sorry Penn and Rippen. Like, Penn, I get but Rippen? Sorry, big guy, you may be ripped as hell but I don't know if you know how to use your strength properly. Seriously, I always think about this scene and two other scenes I'll bring up in those episodes, but Larry is really strong, he took down Rippen so fast and easily! Yes, he did have the element of surprise, but still!

Also, I assume that first burger didn't work because of the wrapper, right? So Larry somehow still infected Rippen? My guy, really? You are twice his size and I'd like to think your kinda strong... drown him! No, I'm kidding, don't do that. Larry will drown you first.

Can just casually go to the moon, you know how the army can just do that. Glad thay fries are used as the cure, fries are so good.

The voice acting for Penn is so great in this episode! He's good in all of them, but this one just sticks out to me for some reason. Like with the hair tussling and french frie grease? Perfect.

You know what would be interesting and a little sad? What if the guy Boone zapped into actually has some sort of memory loss like dementia or anterograde amnesia? Probably not, I'm just not a huge fan of Boone being that dumb is all. We know he's a genius.

And what a way to end the episode, a zombified Rippen and Larry, holding on closely as they ride a zombified dolphin into the beautiful sunrise across the sparkling sea. Such beauty, such wonder...

~The Characters~

Penn Zero: He's just a little minimum wage paid guy! Look at him! He's trying his best!

Boone Wiseman: Luckily, he wasn't an acting manager for too long ir else we would've seen a whole different can of worms.

Sashi Kobayashi: Too OP, had to be zombified half way. I wonder how much they nerf Sashi's strength, guess I'll just keep an eye out.

Rippen: I wonder if he was zapped right before and caused the apocalypse or during it? Probably caused it, let him have something.

Larry: A powerful foe to be rivaled with. Fear his strength!

Dimension(s): I have a bit of a soft spot for zombie apocalyptic cities, so this works for me. Of course, needed ounces of green hue everywhere to really sell it. They make it interesting as to how the apocalypse started, zombie burgers, not that wacky of a concept considering all those schlocky zombie movies, which they've referenced.

Forms: All pretty simple, two fast-food employees and a security guard. All pretty well suited, I've noticed a lot of people like Penn's design, which, understandable. Rippen's design? He ate. Larry's hair... scares me.

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Chuckle City🤡

My Ramblings: Ah yes, the first appearance of Lazlo Matavaqua. I want to meet this juggling man! Boone was ready to just whip that magazine out for anyone to see. How he says it too, so confident and matter-of-factly.

By the way, Sashi zaps into a very mustached clown guy with blue and green hair and than becomes Sashi with pink crazy braids... what? Sashi zapping into a clown guy isn't the point, it's the fact that we see them zap into others before and mainly their faces and bodys change, but not to this extent. This is something else! Let Sashi have a mustache! Goodness. Just something that's bugged me, Penn has the same colored and texture hair (helps that he already has clown hair).

Clown cops, like real life but actually enjoyable to watch! So, would it ACCAB? All Clown Cops Are Bastards? ACAB in a clown world is hilarious.

Boone's police commissioner voice is so good, I wish he used that voice more. Almost didn't sound like him!

I'd hate this world too, Sashi. Whoopee cushions or farts drive me insane, but it's sometimes funny here.

THEIR NAMES ARE FARPLING AND FLAILY!

Dangling fool! Rippen fits almost too perfectly here... hmmmm. Something I admire about him is that he takes himself and the mission very seriously, yet doesn't just constantly complain and bashing about a world's logic or anything! He just roles with it and embraces it even. I'm sure he was like that at the beginning of his villainy but learned to just go with the flow of things. He's a clown? He's gonna be the clowniset bastard around! An adorable little mayor? Sticking with it! A cat!? HE WILL PISS IN A LITTER BOX!

Anyways, Rippen's wearing striped tights under his spotted boxers... that's it. Something funny I noticed. He has such a witchy, clowny laugh. Now he's got goons! He's moving up in the world!

Very good clown car chase scene, demonstrating both Penn's strengths and Sashi's weaknesses.

Why did the clowns have a Whoopee Wars? What were they fighting about? Oh god... so many implications you can put in there. The giant whoopee cushion is just a clown version of a bomb...

BLBLBLBLBLBL!!! Your such a clown, Rippen. Also his voice sound a bit different right before Larry pulls out the feather, maybe nasally?

Oh no... the cursed image of Rippen's mouth full of cock, like the rooster, I meant. Guys!? LIKE THE ROOSTER! They had to know what they were doing! Larry's face whilst he holds it in his mouth... no thoughts, head empty. And then having Rippen blow a big, long ballon for a split second!? COME ON!

Good sad clowning, Penn! Ashame that no one was a mime. Not just miming, an actual black and white mime.

I'd like to know Henry's deal. Also, is Mitch the Monkey, like, okay? Mitch, blink twice if you need help! Right, Sodajerk. He's got some very good advice for clowns or comedians out there! Gotta be able to laugh at yourself to be tough. Wish we could see more of Sodajerk and Sash, we do see him in Chuckle City 500, but it's brief.

Hehe, let it rip. Get it? Rippen? Rip? You get it. Also god damn that wedgie looks painful! Believe me, being wedgied by a tree branch really hurts and is very embarrassing. Right... they got him, HE'S DEAD!

~The Characters~

Penn Zero: Just a silly little goofy guy. He's the best at clowning around! They should have an out-goof-off between him and Rippen.

Boone Wiseman: Certified DID, a damsel in distress... or I guess a CIC? Clown in clutch or clutches?

Sashi Kobayashi: This is a pretty good Sashi episode. We finally begin to see her struggles, in this world being not silly enough, she's tough and serious, not her thang. It's interesting to see since so far, she's been a guiding voice for the guy's faults and now it's her turn. But with the help of a random clown, who I do like. Penn did try to help. It was a little too quick for her turnaround but hey, these episodes gotta keep going. Just wish she got a little more time to hone in her silly craft. She's good at it.

Rippen: This is his home now, he's meant to be here. To be free and silly!

Larry: He's still thinking about the rubber chicken, I bet. Funny how that will come back to him later on.

Dimension(s): I can think about is Killer Klowns from Outer Space and Clown Husbandry on Tumblr....what breeds do you think each are? Rippen is definitely an evil clown of sorts, Boone literally calls him one.

Besides that, interesting world, love me some clown stuff! But ACCAB!

Forms: All fun! Sashi's hair is fun, Penn's hair is perfect and Boone's giant bowtie is excellent!

Rippen and Larry on the other hand? Rippen is very much inspired by the Joker while Larry is definitely Tim Curry's IT. I adore that, just as much as I adore Rippen's pink eyes and dead flower.

[theflashseason10]

The Flash Season 10, Episode 4 - "Green With Enemies"

Click "keep reading" to expand the entire script, or click here for the rest of the episodes!

INT. STAR LABS - DAY

Allegra is scrolling through Netflix, trying to pick a movie for movie night. Chester is playing with Riddleman's orb, tossing it back and forth in his hands.

SNOW-GREEN: (laughing) Chester, stop playing with Riddleman's orb! It's not like you're playing with the big ball!

CHESTER: (laughing) Ha ha, very funny Snow-Green!

ALLEGRA: (rolling her eyes) Is Snow-Green in love with Riddleman?

SNOW-GREEN: (blushing) No, I only have a thing for guys that wear green!

CHESTER: (teasing) Green and handsome?

Suddenly, Chester's phone rings. He answers it, looking worried.

CHESTER: (worried) Joe? What's up?

JOE: (urgently) Get down to my house now! We've got a big problem!

Chester hangs up the phone, looking worried.

CHESTER: (urgently) Guys, we need to go to Joe's house! Now!

ALLEGRA: (concerned) What's going on?

CHESTER: (urgently) I don't know, but it's big! Let's go!

The team quickly gathers their things and hurries out of Star Labs, heading for Joe's house.

FADE TO BLACK.

INT. CITY STREET - DAY

Barry and Iris are riding their electric scooters towards Joe's house. They are both dressed in casual clothing and appear to be in good spirits.

BARRY: (explaining) I can't run there because I don't want to tip off our villain that I'm on to them. Plus, I've been trying to work on my carbon footprint.

IRIS: (laughing) Yeah, I guess that makes sense. But I hope this doesn't ruin movie night.

BARRY: (jokingly) If I get there first, I get to pick the movie. And my pick is definitely "The Matrix".

IRIS: (playfully rolling her eyes) Of course it is. But I'm hoping for a comedy tonight, something to lighten the mood after all the villain fighting we've been doing lately.

BARRY: (smiling) I'm sure we'll find something that both of us will enjoy. Let's just get to Joe's house and see what he needs.

The scene cuts to them continuing to ride their scooters, enjoying each other's company.

INT. JOE AND CECILE'S HOUSE - DAY

Barry, Iris, Chester, Allegra, Riddleman, and Snow-Green enter the room, greeted by Joe and Cecile. They are introduced to a new speedster, who is wearing green and holding an orb.

JOE: Meet our new friend, he's a speedster, but he can't talk.

ALLEGRA: Has his voice been stolen?

The new speedster shakes his head no.

RIDDLEMAN: (In riddle-speak) What runs, but never walks? Has a mouth, but never talks?

SNOW-GREEN: (Excitedly) Oh, I love a good riddle! What is it?

RIDDLEMAN: (In riddle-speak) Why, it's the new speedster, of course!

The team decides to take the new speedster and his orb back to Star Labs for further study.

CUT TO:

INT. STAR LABS - DAY

The team is excited to study the new speedster and his orb, hoping to discover what makes him tick.

INT. STAR LABS - DAY

All the characters are at Star Labs, gathered around the new speedster, who is still holding the orb. Joe and Iris are discussing their theories about the speedster.

JOE: It's strange that he has an orb just like Riddleman. And he's wearing green, just like the Evil Barry from earlier.

IRIS: Do you think he's from the future like Evil Barry?

SNOW-GREEN: (excitedly) I don't know about all that, but I do know one thing. That green outfit is really working for him!

Everyone turns to look at Snow-Green, who is looking at the new speedster with an appreciative gaze. The new speedster looks back at Snow-Green, slightly confused.

SNOW-GREEN: (flirtatiously) I just love a guy in green!

Everyone laughs, as Snow-Green blushes.

INT. STAR LABS - DAY

Riddleman is intently studying the new speedster's orb, comparing it to his own. Chester makes a suggestive joke about the size of the orbs.

CHESTER: (laughing) Looks like the new guy's got a bigger orb!

RIDDLEMAN: (speaking in riddle-talk) Size is but a measure, in this orb's true treasure, what's inside is what truly matters.

Just as Chester is about to reply, Riddleman interjects with a new riddle.

RIDDLEMAN: (speaking in riddle-talk) This orb holds secrets, untold and deep, what it reveals, may cause one to leap.

Allegra pulls Chester aside for a serious talk about their relationship.

ALLEGRA: (serious tone) Chester, we need to talk about where we're headed.

Riddleman interrupts their conversation with another riddle.

RIDDLEMAN: (speaking in riddle-talk) Two hearts intertwined, in love's sweet dance, but where will they go, what's the chance?

INT. STAR LABS - DAY

Barry is sitting at a desk, scrolling through his laptop. Snow-Green leans over his shoulder.

SNOW-GREEN: (jokingly) Let me guess, no results for "alternate universe where everyone wears green?"

BARRY: (disappointed) Unfortunately, no.

SNOW-GREEN: (sighing) Ah well. My universe isn't exactly a joyous place.

BARRY: (concerned) What happened in your universe?

SNOW-GREEN: (sadly) Oh, just the usual. Villains, destruction, chaos. The usual.

She forces a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

SNOW-GREEN: (playfully) But hey, at least I get to wear green all the time!

Barry can tell she is still sad, but lets it go for now and changes the subject.

FADE TO BLACK.

INT. STAR LABS - DAY

Riddleman is standing in front of the group, holding the new speedster's orb. He begins to speak in riddle-talk.

RIDDLEMAN: A jinx it seems, my friends, is what's wrong with this man. The curse that strikes, and mutes his voice, a spell so dark and grand.

Chester nods in understanding.

CHESTER: I got it. If we can figure out his name, he'll be able to talk again!

Cecile steps forward and focuses on the new speedster.

CECILE: I'll try to use my mind-reading powers to get his name, but it might not work. He's from a different universe.

Cecile concentrates for a moment, but then her eyes widen in surprise.

CECILE: I can't read his mind! It's like he's from a completely different dimension.

The group looks at each other, trying to figure out their next move. The new speedster holds up his orb and makes a pleading gesture, trying to communicate. Snow-Green steps forward and speaks to him in a soft voice.

SNOW-GREEN: Don't worry, we'll figure it out. We're The Flash team, after all.

The group agrees and sets to work trying to figure out the name of the new speedster and break the jinx that has silenced him.

INT. STAR LABS - DAY

Iris and Joe are sitting at a table, surrounded by various scientific equipment and gadgets. They both look deep in thought.

Iris suddenly perks up and says:

IRIS Wait a minute, I remember something!

JOE What is it, Iris?

IRIS The Central City Citizen ran a story on a supervillain who was arrested for knowing too many people's names.

JOE That's right! I remember reading about that.

Iris's eyes light up with excitement.

IRIS Do you think he could help us figure out the new speedster's name?

JOE It's worth a shot. Why don't you visit him in Iron Heights prison later and see what you can find out?

Iris nods in agreement, eager to start her investigation.

IRIS I'll do that. Let's hope he's still behind bars.

Joe grins and pats her on the back.

JOE You're a brave reporter, Iris. Good luck.

Iris smiles and heads out of Star Labs, ready to tackle her next assignment.

INT. STAR LABS LABORATORY - DAY

Snow-Green and Allegra stand in a corner of the laboratory, away from the others.

SNOW-GREEN (whispering) Allegra, I need to tell you something.

ALLEGRA (concerned) What is it, Snow?

SNOW-GREEN (teary-eyed) When Iris mentioned Evil Barry earlier, I realized that she was talking about my ex-husband from my universe. It's just bringing up a lot of emotions for me.

ALLEGRA (sympathetically) Oh, Snow. I'm so sorry.

Snow-Green starts to cry and Allegra puts an arm around her.

ALLEGRA (trying to cheer her up) Hey, cheer up. Maybe in this universe, he's a good guy.

Snow-Green tries to laugh, but it comes out as a sob.

SNOW-GREEN (between sobs) I don't know if I can handle seeing him again.

Allegra holds Snow-Green as she continues to cry. The scene ends with a shot of the two of them in the corner, with the rest of the team busy working in the background.

INT. IRON HEIGHTS PRISON - DAY

Iris enters a prison cell, facing a shady looking villain dressed in orange prison attire.

IRIS: (firm) So, you're the one who knows everyone's names?

VILLAIN: (smirks) Yes, that's right. And I know yours too, Iris West-Allen.

IRIS: (raises eyebrow) Impressive. But, we're not here to talk about me. We need to know the name of a new speedster who has appeared in Central City.

VILLAIN: (thinks for a moment) I might be able to help with that. But, there's a catch. I need a favor.

IRIS: (suspicious) What kind of favor?

VILLAIN: (grinning) I want my friend to be released from this prison. Then, I'll tell you the name of the speedster you're looking for.

IRIS: (sighs) I'll have to talk to the others first. But, I'll see what I can do.

Iris exits the cell, leaving the villain with a sly smile on his face.

FADE TO BLACK.

INT. STAR LABS - DAY

Iris is pacing back and forth, talking on the phone with Joe. Barry, Chester, and Snow-Green are looking on with concern.

IRIS (into phone) I know, Joe, but we need the answer. The new speedster's name is the only way to break the jinx and let him speak.

JOE (V.O) (on phone) Fine, Iris, but this is your responsibility. You let that villain's friend out of Iron Heights and you'll be the one answering to me.

Iris hangs up the phone and turns to the group.

IRIS (excited) We have a plan! We're going to break the jinx and save the new speedster.

CHESTER (puzzled) But how do we get his name?

IRIS (smiling) The name-knowing villain agreed to help us. In exchange, we're going to let his friend out of prison.

BARRY (nodding) It's a risk, but it's worth it if it means saving the new speedster.

SNOW-GREEN (smiling) And I'm ready for the adventure!

The group gathers their gear and heads out, determined to break the jinx and save the new speedster.

FADE TO BLACK

FADE IN:

INT. IRON HEIGHTS PRISON - DAY

Iris, Barry, Snow-Green, Chester and Riddleman stand in front of a control panel. The name-knowing villain stands nearby.

NAME-KNOWING VILLAIN (smiling slyly) The answer you seek is Emerald, a name that rhymes with the color scheme.

Iris hesitates, but takes a deep breath and pushes the button. The door to one of the cells slowly opens, and a figure steps out into the light.

EVIL BARRY (in a deep, sinister voice) Hello, friends.

Everyone in the room gasps in shock.

SNOW-GREEN (disbelief) It can't be. Evil Barry?!

RIDDLEMAN (riddle-speaking) A name that's like a precious stone, And a foe to be overthrown.

BARRY (nervously) What have we done?

IRIS (with regret) I should have listened to Joe.

EVIL BARRY (smirking) You should have. Now, I'm free to wreak havoc on your precious city once again.

The team looks at each other, unsure of what to do next.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

INT. IRON HEIGHTS PRISON - DAY

Evil Barry stands in front of Snow-Green, who looks on in fear.

EVIL BARRY (smirking) I've been betrayed in my own time, in my own universe. And now, I have a chance to get revenge on those who wronged me.

SNOW-GREEN (trembling) Do you recognize me?

Evil Barry looks at Snow-Green, studying her face.

EVIL BARRY (sighs) Snow-Green. My ex-wife.

Snow-Green takes a step back, but Evil Barry quickly grabs her by the arm.

EVIL BARRY (laughing) You're coming with me.

Evil Barry jumps into a time vortex that appears out of nowhere, pulling Snow-Green in with him. Chester tries to make a joke about the situation, but Allegra slaps him before he can finish.

CHESTER (laughing nervously) I guess you could say they're in a time vortex…

ALLEGRA (interrupting) Shut up, Chester.

The team stands there, shocked, as the time vortex closes.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

INT. STAR LABS - DAY

The team is gathered in the main lab, looking worried and stressed. Chester is pacing back and forth, rubbing his chin.

CHESTER (excitedly) Guys, I just remembered something! We have to say the name of the new speedster to break the jinx curse!

ALLEGRA (disheartened) But what good will that do? Snow-Green's still kidnapped by Evil Barry.

BARRY (determined) We'll figure out a way to save her. We always do.

IRIS (thinking) But first, we need to know the name of the new speedster.

CHESTER (quipping) Well, it's time to "Say My Name" like Destiny's Child.

Everyone looks at Chester, confused.

ALLEGRA (slapping Chester's arm) Chester, this isn't the time for jokes.

RIDDLEMAN (riddle-speaking) A name not said, it stays untold, But say it now, and truth be told.

JOE (nodding) Let's do this. On the count of three. One, two, three.

ALL Emerald!

Everyone waits for a moment, but nothing seems to happen.

BARRY (disappointed) I guess it didn't work.

CHESTER (shrugging) Maybe we need a bigger chorus.

ALLEGRA (frustrated) Chester, seriously?!

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

INT. STAR LABS - DAY

The team stands in the lab, looking at a monitor displaying the time vortex. They all look worried and defeated. Chester makes a joke about Destiny's Child, trying to lighten the mood.

CHESTER (smiling weakly) Say my name, say my name.

Suddenly, a figure stumbles into the room, panting heavily. It's Emerald, the new speedster.

EMERALD (breathless) You have to listen to me! The orbs and the time vortex, they're connected!

Everyone turns to look at him, surprised by his sudden appearance and coherent speech.

BARRY (confused) What are you talking about?

EMERALD (urgently) The orbs, they're not just random anomalies. They're portals to other times and universes. And the time vortex, it's not just a strange occurrence. It's being controlled by someone.

Everyone listens intently, hanging on to every word.

IRIS (determined) We need to find a way to stop them. To save Snow-Green.

JOE (nodding) And to make sure that this doesn't happen again.

ALLEGRA (firmly) Right. We need to find a way to close the portals and stop the vortex.

RIDDLEMAN (riddle-speaking) A path so bright, yet so unknown, A journey ahead, but not alone.

CHESTER (smiling) Well, we've got a new speedster on our team now. That's a start, right?

The team looks at each other, determination in their eyes.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

INT. TIME DUNGEON - DAY

Snow-Green is seen looking around the dark and eerie time dungeon, searching for a way out. She rubs her hands together to try and warm them up, when suddenly they start to glow a bright green.

SNOW-GREEN (startled) Oh no, it's happening again. (pauses) I guess you could say my hands are…lit! (chuckles)

She lets out a small laugh, then looks sad as she thinks about Chester.

SNOW-GREEN (cont'd) Chester would have loved that one. (sighs) I hope he's okay back in the present.

Suddenly, a door in the distance creaks open. Snow-Green's eyes widen in surprise and she makes a dash for it, not knowing what awaits her on the other side.

FADE TO BLACK.

THE END.

TO BE CONTINUED…

[roosterforme]

The Deployment Diaries Part 7 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: A new family member joins you and Bradley just in time for the next deployment. 

Warnings: Fluff, swearing, angst, adult banter, smut

Length: 3600 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots! Check my masterlist for the reading order!

As the dreaded April deadline drew closer and closer, you and Bradley made the best of your time together. You started carpooling when you had to be at work at the same time. Bradley claimed it was to help reduce your carbon footprints, but then added that he also really wanted to spend fifteen extra minutes with you each day. The weather had been perfect for beach picnics, and you found yourselves there more often than not with sandwiches for dinner while watching the sun set.

And then Bradley surprised you by taking you home to see your parents for a long weekend. "Did you just say you got tickets for us to fly to Maryland?" you asked one night, completely surprised. "Yes," he replied, holding you against him in bed, kissing your forehead. "Fly out Friday, land Saturday morning and then fly back Sunday. I know it's not a lot of time for us to spend there, but I thought it would make you happy. Your parents already know about it." "What the fuck," you whined. Bradley froze. "We don't have to go if you don't want to, Sweetheart." You pressed your mouth to his in the dark bedroom. Your fingers threaded through his hair. You eased him over onto his back and straddled his waist. "God, Bradley. You just do things, and they're perfect. And maybe I don't do all the little details as well as you, but I love you so much." Bradley groaned as you crawled down the bed and pulled his length out of his boxer briefs. "You make me better," he told you as you sucked his cock. "You make me so much better." --------------------------------------------- After a fun, albeit short, weekend of hanging out with your parents and having silent sex in their guest bedroom, Bradley was still at a loss. His heart was going to break when he left again, and he would break yours too. It felt like you and he would be in an endless cycle of living alone with a broken heart, just to be reunited and given the opportunity to mend the hurt. Only to do it all over again. You were snuggled up against him on the flight back to San Diego, and once again he was dying to get that ring from storage. He told himself it was still too soon. But this upcoming deployment was so long, and he still occasionally thought you might tell him you wanted to call it quits. You were smart and self-sufficient. You were organized and lovely. You were beautiful and sweet. He offered you essentially nothing in return that you couldn't give yourself. Except for his heart. But you'd chosen him, and he had chosen you. It shouldn't still feel this hard, and he could not for the life of him figure out how to make it easier. When you started to stir next to him, stretched and smiled at him, he pulled you in for a soft kiss. "Baby Girl, you need to tell me how to make it easier," he whispered against your lips. "I don't know how to be deployed when I have you at home. It's too hard." You just smiled at him and rubbed your nose along his. "It's not too hard for me, Roo. I can keep doing it. You don't have to worry." So maybe he would have to rely on you to make it easier for him. ----------------------------------------------- Bradley knew he needed to ask you first. He also knew this was probably a terrible idea, especially since he was leaving for a two month deployment in about a week. But he couldn't say no to the sweet little snout and the sad little eyes looking up at him. "Come on, Rooster, you guys need to take him in," Phoenix said, thrusting the dog into his arms. "He looks like he's half starving and he has a bad limp. He needs someone to nurse him back to health, and your house would be perfect for him. He would have a daddy and a mommy to love him, plus you actually have a backyard." Bradley cradled the little bundle of black and brown fur against his chest. The dog licked his chin and placed his head on Bradley's shoulder. Bradley was screwed; he was already in love with this animal. "Nat, I don't know. You and I are leaving again soon. I need to check with Y/N first. She would end up having to do most of the work right now." The dog whimpered against him, and he felt his resolve melting. Phoenix had found the poor little thing on base when she'd been out for a run right after work. He was trapped down in a steep drainage ditch, unable to climb out. Bradley had scaled the sloped cement walls to retrieve him and carry him back up. "I'm sure she'll say yes if I send her a picture of you snuggling him in your massive arms," Phoenix replied with a smirk as she snapped a few photos of him with the dog. Bradley rolled his eyes. "Listen, if she says no, I'll take him home just for the night and feed him. But I'll have to drop him off at the shelter tomorrow if she says he can't stay." "She said he can stay!" Phoenix told him, holding up the text message thread she had with you. Oh my goodness, Nat! I can't say no to those puppy dog eyes! And the dog is irresistible, too. Bradley smiled down at the dog and scratched him behind the ears. "You wanna come home to my house? My girlfriend's really pretty, and she likes to snuggle, and she'll make you something yummy for dinner." The dog licked Bradley's chin again before barking in what Bradley assumed was delight. Phoenix helped get the dog strapped into the back seat of the Bronco. "If you pee in here, you'll be right back on the streets, okay buddy?" Bradley warned him before hopping in and driving him home. When he pulled into the driveway, you came running out to the Bronco. You were still dressed in your uniform and boots from work. "He's so cute!" you squealed, jumping up and down next to the door as Bradley opened it and gently pulled the dog out. Bradley leaned down and kissed your cheek. "He's basically skin and bones, and he's injured. And we need to make sure he doesn't have an ownership chip." You scoffed and took the dog into your arms. "Look at him! He's a mess, Bradley! Even if he has owners, I'm not sending him back to them! He's staying here, where he will be taken care of!" Then you looked down at the sweet little guy in your arms. "Hi! Aww, yes, you're so sweet! Are you hungry? I got you dog food on my way home from work. And I'll cut up some steak for you too." Bradley watched as you carried the dog inside, still talking to him and letting him lick your entire face. "She already ditched me for the dog." -------------------------------------- You sat on the floor and tried to hand feed him dry dog food. He was so dehydrated and hungry, he could barely keep the food down. Bradley had forfeited half of his steak from dinner, and you were finally getting the dog to take some bites of the meat from your hand. "What time does he need to go to the vet tomorrow?" you asked Bradley when he got off the phone with the emergency clinic. "5:30. I can take him right after work," Bradley said as he leaned against the kitchen counter. "And I guess he needs a name?" You smiled up at your boyfriend. "Oh, I already named him." Bradley tilted his head back to look at the ceiling. "Do I even want to know?" You ran your hand over the dog's matted fur and gently tousled his ears. "When you're done eating, Tramp, we'll give you a nice bath before bedtime." Bradley cracked up and smiled down at you. "The name is very fitting, Baby Girl. He's kind of pathetic, he's eating out of your hand, and he's already in love with you." You grinned back up at Bradley. "Yeah, Roo. He's just like you." Bradley nodded in agreement. ------------------------------------ Getting Tramp bathed took both of you a full hour to accomplish. He kept trying to climb out of the tub in the master bathroom, so Bradley ended up holding him gently in place while you used your fancy shampoos to clean his filthy fur. He would need to be taken for a haircut soon, but getting him to the vet was more important. "Oh no, now he's cold," you said as you drained the water from the tub. The dog was looking up at Bradley with the most pathetic face as he shivered. You jumped up and ran to get some fluffy towels out of the closet and bundled him in them. Then Bradley scooped him up and sat on the floor with his back against the tub, cradling Tramp while he dried off. You bit your lip and looked down at them. "Oh my God, this is literally the sweetest thing I have ever seen," you gushed before settling on the floor next to Bradley, turning his face toward yours and giving him a kiss. The first kiss turned into a deeper one as you ran your fingers through his hair. "He's so sweet," you whispered with a smile on your lips. "I think we should make Nat his godmother, since she's the one who actually found him," Bradley joked. He looked down to find Tramp was already asleep, breathing softly and snuggled against his damp tee shirt. You kissed Bradley one more time before you hopped up again. "I'm going to set up a little makeshift bed for him on our floor. Eventually we should buy him a crate, but he'll be okay for the night. I'll set an alarm for 2:30 and check if he needs to go outside again at that point, but let's let him sleep for now, yeah?" Bradley watched you walk back into the bedroom. He didn't think it was possible for him to keep falling more in love with you, but you defied all of his logic. A few minutes later, you poked your head back into the bathroom. "His little bed is ready," you whispered. Bradley stood and walked him over to the cushions and blankets you had set up at the foot of the bed, and carefully deposited him there. You threw your arms around Bradley's neck. "Thank you for bringing Tramp home. Now I'll have a buddy here with me when you're gone on deployment. I can take him for walks after work, and he can snuggle with me while I watch all of the shows you don't like." Bradley scooped you up into his arms and carried you to bed. "I had no idea I had the capacity to be jealous of an animal, but apparently I do." Your laugh rang out, making him smile. "And don't worry, I'll teach Tramp how to follow you around and give you puppy eyes. It'll be like I'm not even gone, Baby Girl." You giggled softly as he put you down in bed and climbed on top of you, and you pulled his damp shirt off for him. You had just adopted a pet together. And it was kind of giving him the same feeling he got every time he thought about getting you pregnant. Didn't people get dogs pre-kids to learn about responsibility or some shit? Bradley wasn't sure, but thinking about you taking care of something made him horny. "Oh, hey there," you whispered as Bradley pressed his hard dick against your thigh, and he laughed. "Don't act like you're surprised that I'm turned on right now. I'm in the same room as you, aren't I?" he rasped as you gently ran your fingers along his scalp. "My period is still kind of heavy and crampy. Are you okay with another blowjob?" Bradley rolled off of you, laughing hysterically. "Oh my God, that's the funniest thing I have ever heard you say!" He was literally gasping for air next to you and swiping tears from his eyes. "Yeah, Sweetheart, I'm pretty sure I can suffer through another amazing blowjob from you." He pulled you on top of him and saw that you were laughing now too. "Can you believe the audacity of me to assume you enjoy cumming in my mouth?" "Stop it, Baby Girl, please! I can't stop laughing!" You shook your head and leaned in next to his ear. "I'll bet I can get you to stop laughing and start moaning." Then you licked the side of his neck and reached your hand down inside the waistband of his underwear. Bradley grunted softly. He could feel his cock throbbing and jumping against your palm. "Oh, I already know you can do that. Been more than six months you've had me moaning your name, Y/N." And then you were the one moaning into his mouth as you stroked him slowly with your hand. "Okay, you can't say something that sexy to me and not expect a reward." Bradley watched in anticipation as you took your shirt off and removed your bra as well. Then a grin broke out across his face as he watched you grip his dick and lean down to rub your perky tits all over it. He also enjoyed the sight of the golden charms on your necklace swinging back and forth before coming to rest on his cock. "Oh, I love this," he groaned as you licked the bead of pre-cum from the tip of him, swirling your tongue to be sure you got it all. "Oh, fuck." You glanced up at him as you ran your hard nipples across his balls. He couldn't decide if he would rather look at your pretty face or your pretty tits, so he alternated between both. You worked yourself against him, occasionally pausing to kitten lick along his length. Then you sucked on him so well. When you pulled him out of your mouth with one last lick, he was panting for more. "You want to cum on my tits, don't you?" you asked softly as you played with your nipples from your spot between his legs. "You love my tits." Bradley groaned as he sat up, wrapped his arms around your waist and flipped you onto your back. "I do love your gorgeous tits, Sweetheart." He sucked on them softly and kissed them reverently before adding, "And I'd love to cum all over them." You leaned back against the pillows with your mouth open for him, and he straddled you while you sucked his cock until he was so close. Then as he pumped himself a few times and unloaded all over your chest, Bradley smiled the bright happy smile of a man who was very spoiled. He helped you get cleaned up and promised you that he would get up with Tramp and take him outside at 2:30 so you didn't have to. "Thanks, Roo. You always spoil me," you whispered as you were dozing off, draped across Bradley's chest. --------------------------------------- "I know I told you it's not hard for me, but I was lying," you said, crying softly against Bradley's chest. "I don't want you to leave again tomorrow." You were curled up in Bradley's lap on the couch, and Tramp was sitting at his feet playing with a squeaky toy. "Sweetheart, there is nothing I can say that will make this any easier. And I'm very sorry for that. But I love you, and I know you'll be okay without me, and I'll be okay without you. Not great, mind you, but okay enough to get through eight weeks." It killed you that you couldn't be strong for him right now. "Tramp is just getting used to us. He's going to think he comes from a broken home." "Don't say that! I'm coming back to both of you," Bradley whispered into your hair. "Tramp, mommy is being silly, I'm not leaving, buddy." You watched your adorable dog look up when Bradley called his name, before returning his attention to the toy. "At least I'll have Tramp. And you'll be with Nat. That does make me feel a bit better," you said, taking a deep breath. The tears were finally slowing down for now. "But I'm still going to worry," you whispered, and Bradley scooped you up and carried you to the bedroom. Tramp followed close behind and plopped down on his doggy bed in the corner. "I'm coming back, Baby Girl," Bradley whispered into your hair. "Always." When he climbed into bed with you, he just held you all night. He kissed you back when you kissed him. He whispered how much he loved you. And he held you against his comforting body. ------------------------------------------- Bradley's alarm woke him at 6:00. He needed to be at the docks in two hours, but he wanted to have enough time to give you a proper goodbye. He wanted to be able to spend a little more time with you, because he was going to miss your naked body draped across his all night and waking up to your hair tickling his face. When he set his phone down, you started to stir. "Baby Girl," he whispered, and you squeezed him so tight. He had never dreamed he could be loved like this. "Bradley, I have an idea," you told him in your soft morning voice. "Let's take Tramp and get in the Bronco and drive east and tell the US Navy to go fuck itself." You made him laugh, just like you always did. Even on this sad morning, he didn't have to force it. "You're so smart, Sweetheart. Let's do it," he told you before you mashed your lips against his. You stroked both of his cheeks with your thumbs as you kissed him until he was hard and moaning into your mouth. "I want you nice and slow," you whispered, and Bradley pushed you onto your back. "I need you to make me come." "I will, Baby Girl," he replied with certainty. Bradley pushed into you, your beautiful face soft and unguarded in the early morning light. He knew your body so well, and he had become exceptionally good at being patient when you needed him to be. So he took it slow and steady and told you how you were perfect and that he was going to love you forever. He wasn't surprised when you erupted into tears a minute after you both came. He just gathered you into his arms and held you until your breathing was steadier. His heart was breaking again. It was going to break every single time he did this to you. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry," he whispered, and he cried too. ------------------------------------------- You managed to change into some old sweats and put your hair up, but your attention was fixed on Bradley as he made you a mug of coffee and took Tramp outside before getting dressed in his uniform. And all the while, he kissed you at least twice per minute for an hour. It was getting late now, and you could barely look at him in his khaki. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he nuzzled his nose against your neck. He was holding Tramp who was getting in on the group hug. "You need to stop apologizing, Roo. I wouldn't be this upset if you were a shit boyfriend. It sucks so much because you're the best." He pulled you against him hard one last time before you led him out to your car. The drive to base was quiet, but Bradley held your hand while you cried silently. This was all too familiar from when you did this in January. As you walked across the dock, Bradley kept his arm securely wrapped around you with his duffle tossed over his other shoulder. But when you saw Phoenix, you completely lost it again as she pulled you into a hug. "It's going to be okay," she promised you. "I'll be around to look after him this time. I've got his back in the air, and I'll help him fend off other ladies. There's nothing to worry about." You just chuckled and nodded against her neck and said, "Both of you need to stay safe." Then he dropped his duffle, and you were back in Bradley's arms as he was being called aboard. "I love you so much, Baby Girl. And I'm gonna miss you every minute for the next eight weeks, you can count on that. And check your nightstand drawer when you get home." "I'll miss you too," you said as he scooped you up. You kissed him softly, arms around his neck and fingers in his hair. "I love you." He kissed you harder, tightening his grip on your thigh with one hand and messing up your hair with the other. He set you down gently, kissed you one more time, scooped up his bag, and walked onboard with Phoenix. 

---------------------------------

I’m not crying, you’re crying! Okay, we all are!

Part 8

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[badsext]

It’s been two weeks, and while [OC of any gender] is addicted to everything else he does, Nathan still practically swallows their face in order to get their tongues together. OC decides to teach Nathan how to kiss. With a naughty 😈😈+ reward system.

Taming the Tongue: Nathan x Fem!Reader

⚠️ Warnings: Sumt of course 😈😈

———————————————————————————

“Woah, Nathan, I’m choking on your tongue!” You push him away, exasperated.

“Yeah.” He nods his head and smiles as if receiving a compliment, then immediately returns to kissing you, his tongue piercing through your lips like a battering ram. The incorrigible young Irishman proceeds to lather your tonsils like an automatic car wash. His lips are pressed so firmly against yours, you can feel his incisors.

You push him away again, harder this time. “I’m not the one who’s immortal,” you wheeze. “And you’re going to kill me kissing me like that.”

“You don’t like it?” He seems genuinely confused.

“Look, Nathan, I know you still live in the community centre...”

“Temp’rary situation.”

“...and you haven’t got a car.”

“No car, no carbon footprint.”

“...and-“

“Wait, how long is yer list?”

“...Once you find what you’re looking for, you’re actually quite good with your tongue at the other end.”

“Nat’rally.” He wiggles his tongue between his fingers, making his favorite rude gesture.

You roll your eyes to camouflage your smile. “But..BUT, you are a terrible kisser.”

His face is crestfallen and for a moment he is speechless. You tilt him up by his chin and put your opposite hand on his soft bulge. His eyes widen. “Just relax,” you insist, kissing him gently.

While Nathan manages a few seconds of soft open mouth kissing, you begin caressing his budding erection through his jeans. A moment later his tongue is attempting another unwelcome maneuver and generating an excessive amount of saliva. You immediately withdraw your hand. He disengages from your lips with an audible smack and looks down at the spot where your hand had been. “Hey, I thought we were getting somewhere.”

“Ease up with your tongue and less drooling please.”

“Alright,” he huffs, as if indulging an absurd request.

He kisses you again, slower this time. His tongue grazes yours in gentle waves. The action sends a happy little tingle up and down your spine. You begin to undo his belt and venture into his briefs. He chomps down on your lip the second your hand makes skin on skin contact with his cock.

“Ow!,” you can’t help shouting.

“Shit! I didn’t mean ‘ta.” He cringes, his jade eyes glisten with lament.

“I actually think I liked that.” You chuckle deviously at one another. Your lips meet again with a new fervor. He bites your bottom lip, softer this time. He rakes his teeth over the flesh slowly, deliberately. Fuck me, he has really caught on, you realize, as the natural lubricant seeps between your legs.

You hold Nathan’s sturdy cock in your hand, stroking it lightly with your fingertips. He mumbles nonsense as his kisses travel down to your neck and that sensitive spot behind your ear. You begin to undress. Unable to take his eyes off your striptease, Nathan mindlessly strips off his clothes. You get down on the mattress. He tries to follow, but his jeans are caught on his shoes. He trips and lands on all fours several paces from where he needs to be. Nathan crawls to you, his legs still shackled together by denim. You try not to laugh, but his restricted movements make his cock and balls flop back and forth like an excited dachshund puppy.

Nathan, for his part, is completely unfazed. He positions himself between your thighs and slips his length inside you. Your laughter turns to moaning as his thrusts settle into a rhythm. The weight and friction drive you closer and closer to the edge until you witness the unmistakable twisted face of a man who just beat you to the finish line. He spasms and heaves.  The deed is done.  You both exhale. Nathan pulls out with a wince, rolls onto his side and tucks both hands under his head. His eyes are closed and for a moment you are furious.

“Nathan, I swear to god!”

But then he opens those big green eyes and flicks his tongue at you. “I’m only getttin’ started love,” he says glimpsing down at your fanny. “I’ve heard I’m quite good with my tongue at that end.”  

Gif by @salvador-daley

@bubblyani @helena-way07 @punknatch @super-unpredictable98 @misskittysmagicportal @maerenee930 @slutforrobbiebro @seanfalco @zombiedixon89 @youcandalekmyballs @chipster-21

[thedistantdusk]

Arcadia, Chapter 1

My submission for the 2021 Hinny birthday challenge for the HG discord! Thanks to Liza for organizing, to @accio-broom for the Brit-pick, to @secretkeeper13 for the beta, and to anyone else who helped (I'm probably forgetting a few folks, apologies).

The challenge theme this year was content based on TV! This is an (extremely loose) X-Files AU, but you absolutely don’t need to be familiar with X-Files to understand this :D

TW (spoilers): swearing, references to (severe) mental health concerns, (eventual) consensual relations

___________________________________________________________

D A Y  + O N E

The woman probably finds herself charming as she stands in their driveway, her hands clasped in frozen excitement.

But Ginny just finds her creepy.

Really fucking creepy.

Harry drops hired car into first gear as they pull in. This woman— the head of the village council, Ginny reckons, the one she spoke to on the phone— wears perfectly-pleated Chino pants with a lavender jumper draped across her shoulders.

Her attire is standard for a posh village… especially a new-build village, one with a covenant and loads of stupid rules. It’s the woman’s eerie, opened-mouthed grin that shoots a chill up Ginny’s spine.

Her stark white teeth glint in the sun, but her smile doesn’t move an inch… and the longer Ginny stares, the more unsettled she grows. The only thing larger than her grin is the mane of yellow hair that surrounds her face like an ersatz halo.

Harry clears his throat as he turns off the car; Ginny realizes this is the first sound either of them has made since leaving London.

Awkward.

She reaches for her door handle, but the random woman gets to it first.

“You must be Jenny and Henry!” she shrieks, yanking on Ginny’s shoulders before she’s even unbuckled. “Oh, sorry! Love, do let me get the strap!”

Ginny’s on her feet and pressed to the stranger’s perfumed bosom before she has a chance to tell her she can manage just fine herself, thanks.

“Lovely to meet you in person!” the woman cries, nearly shaking with enthusiasm. It’s not until Ginny’s returned a weak squeeze that the vice-like grip around her middle weakens.

Rubbing her aching shoulder, she sneaks a glimpse at Harry; while she fought for air, he apparently climbed out of the car, only to stare at the two of them like a deer in the headlights. Now his elbow’s at an awkward angle, his hand behind his back, which could only mean one thing: he’s reaching for the wand in his back pocket.

Shit.

Ginny shakes her head and hopes her eyes convey what her lips can’t: She’s just a standard Muggle weirdo. Relax.

“I’m Jane. Jane Connors. In the flesh!” The woman (whose voice Ginny now finds painfully familiar) throws her hands in the air and twirls on the spot. “I take it you’re Jenny and Henry Petri!”

Harry interrupts with a booming chuckle before Ginny says a word; in three quick steps, he’s wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “That’s Pee-tri, actually. Like the dish,” Harry— Henry— adds with a wink. “And speaking of dish…” His eyes travel over Ginny, his voice going all deep and silky.

She bites back a shudder, hating the way her stomach drops as his fingers graze her arm. All that keeps her grounded is knowing the truth: Harry’s good at his job, nothing more. The only reason he’s suddenly become a skilled actor is that his career demands it.

Hers does too, she reminds herself firmly. And if she has any intention of successfully completing her first solo mission, she needs to get her shit together. Now.

Ginny blinks up at Harry, appropriately sobered; his eyes glimmer with mirth. As suspected, he’s only doing his job. Touch is just part of the assignment description. He has no way of knowing what it does to her— because really, truly, it shouldn’t.

And maybe if she keeps telling herself that, it’ll eventually come true.

Harry winks at Jane, tugging Ginny against his side. “My new wife and I had a long journey from the city! We were hoping to get some alone-time before tucking in, I’m sure you understand.”

Jane looks puzzled. “You— but it’s 5:43!” An uncomfortable giggle burbles from her lips. “You must be moved in by 6. Surely you’ve read the covenant rules?”

“Erm… may have missed that one,” Ginny lies. “There’s quite a few, see. We’re used to—”

But Jane shoves her fingers into her mouth, cutting her off with an ear-piercing whistle. Just as quickly, another chill races up Ginny’s spine. People up and down the street emerge from their semi-detached homes and race towards them, their faces in downcast unison.

They’ve all been watching. Waiting for the signal. Ready.

Ginny’s not sure how long ago the Department of Mysteries delivered the moving van and left it on the street, but the horde of random people aren’t fussed with the details, either. Within five seconds of Jane’s whistle, the strangers throw open the back door and begin an unloading process that reeks of military precision.

“Here’s the house key!” trills Jane, pulling it from her pocket. “Oh, and Petris!” She turns to Harry and Ginny, wagging her finger. “I’ll also need a copy of your car key, ASAP. We’re firm believers in the buddy system here in Arcadia.” She returns her attention to the stone-faced neighbors, who are now scurrying to the door. “This way, friends— right this way!”

“I— that’s really unnecessary,” Ginny says, bewildered, as people rush inside their new house, boxes in arms. “We’re perfectly able to—”

“Nonsense!” cries a man with grey sideburns as he takes a box from the back. “We’re neighborly here. You’d better get used to it.”

“Yes!” chimes another voice. A chubby man wearing a Polo and a golden necklace emerges from behind the lorry, hurrying up the walk. “We’re like a family here. We all— oh no!” He lets out a startled cry as a box labeled FINE CHINA topples from his arms and lands on the pavement with a thump.

He rushes towards it, face falling, but Ginny’s main concern is the box’s silent descent; she runs over, making a mental note to have a word with the designer of these props. Would something noisy and fragile have killed them? For fuck’s sake...

“Sorry,” the man says with a pained wince. “I’m just so clumsy. I-I promise, I’ll—”

“It’s fine,” Ginny soothes, dropping to her knees. “Don’t worry, really. We aren’t too big on dishes.”

Maybe if she keeps him talking, he won’t realize it’s bloody empty. Seriously, this is amateur shit. Luckily, he’s too distracted to notice.

The man offers a sheepish smile. “I’m Mike. Mike Snodgrass. You may have seen Mike and Jess in the resident guide, but erm…” He trails off, sadness in his voice.

Ginny cocks her head to feign confusion, but of course she’s familiar with Jess Snodgrass, 25, reported missing last November. Her photo’s been on Ginny’s desk for almost as long. Even now, Jess appears in Ginny’s mind with such startling clarity that she can almost see her beside Mike... all 5 feet of her, with curly red hair, bright blue eyes, and a lopsided grin.

Jess Snodgrass… Arcadia’s third missing person. The first to disrupt the couples-only disappearance pattern.

Mike shrugs. “But erm… it’s just me now,” he repeats. “I’m a primary teacher at Saint Julian’s, just up the road.” He nods to his left. “So if you’ve got any homework or school questions, give me a ring!” He pastes on a smile that doesn’t match his eyes; it’s an expression with which Ginny’s well-acquainted.

“I’ll have to remember that, Mike Snodgrass,” Ginny says, shaking his hand.

She immediately regrets it.

Seeing Mike Snodgrass on paper is one thing, but touch makes him human. His hand feels big and warm, his smile earnest and sweet; he reminds her so strongly of Neville that her stomach aches. Ginny breathes through her nose and focuses on the way his necklace — a medallion of Saint Julian, appropriately enough — sparkles in the sun.

“Like I said, I’m all alone,” Mike repeats, offering his hand to help her up. “If you ever need anything, Jenny, don’t hesitate to ask!”

Ginny taps her chin. “Actually, I do have a question! I reckon it’s just a rumor, though. You don’t have to confirm or deny.” She winks at him and leans in as a woman in a fleece jumper rushes past.

Mike’s smile widens, his face brightening… and ah fuck, that one hurts, because she’s about to break his heart.

“Mike…” Ginny murmurs, studying his expression. The more she says his name, the less he reminds her of Neville; she wants to keep it that way. “With everyone being so bloody hospitable here, how come there are so many disappearances?”

Mike stops bobbing. His smile vanishes as quickly as the former occupants of Jenny and Henry’s new home. When Ginny looks back into his eyes, her gut plummets with a sensation of wretched familiarity.

Because she expected sadness on his face… the same type she saw when he mentioned Jess’ name. Sadness she can deal with; sadness is painful, but she sees it all the time.

She sees something worse, though.

Fear.

And not day-to-day fear. This isn’t like hating needles or avoiding clown movies. Mike’s face is filled with the sort of wide-eyed, gripping, primal terror that seizes your insides in a vice. This is how you’d feel if your entire family were held captive in a dungeon, and a single word to the wrong person would spell their deaths.

Or how you’d feel if your ex-boyfriend were the corrupt government’s most desired fugitive… and you still fancied him very much, indeed.

“I… n-no idea,” Mike finally stutters, blinking. Then he sucks in a deep breath through his nose, his expression brightening again.

“So what do you and Henry do for work?” he asks in a booming voice, his grin now unnaturally wide. “We’ve got a carpool to the city if you’re interested. Reducing our carbon footprint is of utmost importance here in Arcadia!” He finishes by spreading his hands in each direction before placing them on his hips, that shit-eating grin still plastered across his face.

In another life, Ginny might’ve laughed. There certainly would have been a lot to cackle over, if she had the luxury of easy laughter. After all, she may as well be living in an am-dram nativity performance, complete with an overeager Joseph beckoning her to the stables after her harrowing desert journey.

Now, though, his reply only fills her with sad, professional detachment. Because fucking hell, how much did this poor man rehearse to get that line right?

She takes pity on him and snaps the bait. “My husband and I work from home,” she says, matching his volume. Someone’s clearly listening; it’s the least she can do. “You won’t see us out much.” Ginny brings the box to her hip. “And seriously, don’t worry about replacing the dishes, either. We mostly do takeaway.”

“No, let me bring you new ones,” Mike insists, his eyes pleading. “Tomorrow? Would that be—”

“What is this?” a voice demands from the back of the truck. Ginny peers around Mike’s shoulder. The man with the gray sideburns stares inside the lorry with a look of disgust.

“A trampoline!” Harry says, stepping aside as another neighbor races past. “We’re thrilled to put it in the garden, aren’t we, Jenny Cakes?”

Jenny Cakes. Is he fucking serious? Two can play at this game, prat.

“Indeed we are, Hen,” she croons, leaning into his side. “Jen and Hen.” She heaves a dreamy sigh and stares into his eyes. “We even rhyme!”

“Rhyming or not, this isn’t allowed,” the man barks, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’d have to apply for a special exemption with Mr Gogolak, but in the meantime…” He checks his watch. “5:53. Seven minutes. It’ll have to go in the garage tonight. I’m Oliver, by the way— Oliver Skinner.”

Harry gives him a theatrical scowl. “I’d say nice to meet you, but those who are enemies of trampolines are generally enemies of mine.”

Ginny bites the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing, but Oliver remains unamused. He raises his pointer finger as if to say something, but Harry gets there first.

“Onnnnly kidding!” Harry winks and claps his shoulder. “Hope we can be fast friends, Oliver.”

Oliver just glares back. “Count on it.”

_______________________________________________________

Ginny’s taking this whole thing very seriously. Not that Harry blames her.

Her voice echoes against the walls of the empty home as she paces around the sitting room, her camera flipped outward to record.

Despite his five-year Auror career, Harry has no real concept of what Unspeakables do. Which, he supposes, is by design. He knows they… know things. Secret things. Things you’d be happier not knowing. He also knows that Kingsley isn’t fond of them. Or perhaps it’s Attica Monkstanley, Ginny’s boss, who King dislikes in particular. Attica’s famous for her refusal to disclose anything — ever. This ranges from potential terrorist plots to her favorite type of sandwich. Thus, Attica isn’t particularly popular. After a career built on helping absolutely no one outside her department, the request for Auror backup on an undisclosed, top-secret endeavor went over about as well as a hippogriff stampede in a posh tea room.

Harry sighs at the blank walls of their would-be living room. King’s in charge now. Big in charge. He or Robards were the obvious choices to accompany Ginny — sorry, Unspeakable GW — on this mission, but when you’re Big In Charge, you call the shots. The shot King called was to pass the assignment to Robards, who in turn passed it to Harry; Robards decided he didn’t need to (direct quote) “take off a week from pre-existing assignments for some fake marriage, new-build village bullshit in the arse-end of Muggle nowhere.”

Admittedly, Harry’s in a bit of a lull at the moment. He’d been assigned to track and recover Yaxley, but that trail went cold on the border of Romania. Harry’s certain he’s just beyond their reach, maybe hiding in a cave, but seeing as how Harry’s not Big In Charge, his opinion doesn’t exactly matter.

Which is precisely how he’s found himself in this bland house in the village of Arcadia, pretending to be married to his ex-girlfriend… who, incidentally, he’s still hopelessly infatuated with, even five years after he ended things.

Because Harry Potter is nothing if not pathetic.

There’d been no realistic way to decline the assignment, though. Not that he’d tried. Seriously, imagine explaining that to your boss: “Mm yeah, sorry King, I can’t do my job because I still wank to the memory of Unspeakable GW riding my—”

Ginny’s narration jerks him from his thoughts. “It’s 6:15 PM on our first day of the assignment,” she dictates into her phone. “Auror Potter and I are secured in the home, posing as Muggle couple Jenny and Henry Petri.”

“Pee-tri!” Harry corrects, throwing his voice across the room.

He hopes he’s loud enough for the camera to detect, but he isn’t exactly brave enough to find out. Harry picks up their empty curry boxes and scampers into the kitchen without so much as a backward glimpse. He may have been forced into this assignment, but he’ll be damned if he can't have a bit of fun.

Her narration stops as he dips out of sight; if Harry were the gambling sort, he’d bet all the gold in Gringotts that she shot him a two-fingered salute away from the camera.

For some fucked up reason, the thought stirs something warm and exciting that lies dormant in his stomach. What’s worse is this feeling almost makes him smile.

No.

Harry draws a breath as he enters the kitchen.

As Kingsley’s told him several times, this arrangement is strictly business— regardless of his past with her. And in retrospect, yeah, the whole setup is an easy way for King to A) refuse responsibility himself, and B) put Monkstanley in a tough spot if it goes pear-shaped.

Harry pops open the rubbish bin. This is just the sort of liability King’s always looking to avoid, really, but— wait. He blinks down into the bin to make sure he’s not just seeing things, but nope… for some reason, the interior is divided into three sections, each in a different color.

Huh! Harry mulls this over before picking the blue bin at random and tossing the containers in. Maybe he’d know what each color meant if he bothered to read the covenant rules. Fortunately, he had much more exciting plans that particular evening involving Ron, loads of butterbeer, and a Canons/Falcons match from hell.

Whatever. Surely Arcadia would make an effort to clearly explain their recycling system if they really cared about the planet.

He returns to the living room just as Ginny’s providing a more in-depth introduction. “Right. I’m Unspeakable GW, badge number”— her voice becomes garbled gibberish, an extra level of concealment, before slipping back to normal speech— “and we’re here to investigate the series of unexplained Muggle disappearances in the village of Arcadia. As this may involve a potential escapee from the Thought Chamber, the Department thought it best for me to investigate. The Thought Chamber’s been my area of expertise for four years…”

Harry sinks into the sofa as she continues; he’s unsure if he should be sad or impressed that this is teaching him more about her job than she ever shared. Not that she did this for long while they were actually together, mind. Nonetheless, his chest flutters again with that stupid bittersweet pride as Ginny scans the room with the phone camera. All of this pageantry is necessary for her job, he knows. Careful documentation. Detailed recordings.

But for fuck’s sake, look at how much she’s done! She’s the youngest Junior Unspeakable in history, soon to become Senior, if this mission works out. She’s composed, she’s eloquent, she’s graceful. Another smile threatens to break through before Harry suppresses it; he just hopes that there’s someone in her life to remind her of how special she is.

She’s really dressed for the part, too. Harry’s certain that none of this is actually in her wardrobe. Seeing her out of jeans and a jumper is off-putting, but she’s done it so damn well. She once told him that most of her clothing choices were based on how easily she could wear them flying.

He swallows the sadness creeping up his throat. He doesn’t even know if she still flies, but she doesn’t in this outfit, that’s for damn sure. Her trainers are impeccably white, with a floral button-up blouse done up to her neck. She’s a bit like a young, beautiful Aunt Petunia; Harry reckons this is more or less the goal, but when she turns around to describe the stairwell, his eyes drop to her arse.

Shit.

He glances away as quickly, but he got a good look. Her casual trousers are rolled at the ankles, but they’ve done nothing to make her look… plain. Harry shuffles on the sofa, desperate for anything else to think about. Somehow, Aunt Petunia’s face still puckers in his mind’s eye, but now he can’t escape the mental image of her bent over the oven of 4 Privet Drive, only this time sporting a round, perfect—

“Potter’s here for backup,” Ginny says, returning to the sitting room. “I’m on primary investigation.”

Thank God; he sighs at the welcome distraction before remembering that bantering with her has always been an effective palate cleanser. So he does that, instead.

“Well, you know what they say,” Harry calls, leaning back against the cushions. “There’s nothing less interesting than the suburbs. Which is why I could never do your job, Jen.” He ends with a wink, resting his hands behind his head.

Ginny arches a brow, holding the camera in front of her. “And please take note, Attica, that the next time this happens, I’ll be the one to choose the names.”

She means it casually… he knows she means it casually. But something in her words pricks him. Irritates him. Wedges beneath his skin.

“Quite an assumption I’ll ever spend this much time with you again,” Harry mutters under his breath.

Shit.

He freezes. He didn’t mean to say that out loud, at least not so… bitterly. Once upon a time, he possessed the social graces to think before replying like that— but days of interpersonal nuance are long gone. They belonged to a carefree teenager with few thoughts aside from the next time he’d run his fingers through the thick, red hair that currently swayed in a long ponytail.

By the time he looks back up at her, Ginny’s face is filled with disappointment. And she’s closed her phone.

“I’ll have to redo that last bit of filming,” she says with a sniff. “But for what it’s worth?” She raises her chin. “You didn’t mind spending time with me in the distant, distant past, Auror Potter.”

Ha!

That was a tremendous understatement.

He’d been in love with her. Stupidly. Disgustingly. The first six months after the war were a blur of sex and mourning. They’d been so punch drunk and delirious that they probably used each other’s bodies more than either of them knew. He really thought they’d have a future, though… that they’d end up getting married and buying a house. Except theirs would have been different than this one. Filled with far more character and history and warmth. Their home would have smelled like baking bread and sounded like kids giggling and felt like a soft blanket on a cold night.

But none of that had anything to do with the way he snapped. So why bring it up, really?

“Sorry,” Harry whispers, tucking his hands beneath his bum. “That… I didn’t mean. I’m sorry. I just meant that we don’t see each other much, and…” He lets out a slow breath. Best to stop talking before he digs himself deeper.

“I forgive you,” Ginny says quietly. A full second passes before she offers him a smirk. “As long as I can still call you Pookie Pie in front of the neighbors.”

Harry blinks at the carpet with a sad smile. “Deal.”

[mrswhozeewhatsis]

Perfect

A/N: I actually wrote something!! Hallelujah!! Special thanks to @negans-lucille-library for beta reading and putting up with all of my questions!!

Summary: Life with Dean is perfect.

Pairing: Dean x reader (I believe this reader is pretty gender neutral, so I hope some guys out there get to read this and enjoy it, too!)

Warnings: None, really. Mostly fluff. Bit of angst.

Word count: 3497 words

Prompt: For the @spnfanficpond's S14 Weekly Episode Challenge, week 19. I used one prompt. It will be bolded. Not listing it here because spoilers.

Two machetes swung in unison, lopping off two vampire heads and leaving you looking at the proud face of your husband as the bodies fell between you. A beam of sunlight burst through a broken board in the roof of the barn and lit up dust motes in the air around Dean’s head, making him look positively resplendent. You grinned at each other before each of you motioned over the other’s shoulder, and then both spun away, taking down two more vampires with almost synchronized movements. It was always like a dance, fighting with Dean. The two of you had fought together for so long now, you were one unit, just taking down monster after monster in fights that almost looked choreographed.

When the last vampire head hit the ground with a satisfying thump and the corresponding body slumped after it, you both heaved a satisfied sigh and smiled at each other. With a quiet nod, you separated, making sure the barn was completely clear of monsters, inside and out, then met again in the middle with a quick, chaste, kiss.

“I’d do better, but you have a little something right… about...” –you gestured at his cheek, then really all over his face– “well, everywhere, really,” you said with a grimace. “Don’t feel like turning into a vampire just because I wanted to kiss my husband.”

Dean pretended to try and kiss you messily, laughing when you pushed him away. “You mean, it’s not worth two days of puking your guts up with the vampire cure to give your hot-as-hell husband a proper kiss?” Letting you go, he wiped his machete off on the shirt of one of the headless bodies and then headed toward the water pump just outside the barn doors. “I must be losing my touch!” he joked as he began pumping to fill the trough below the faucet.

You joined him in cleaning both your weapons and yourselves, enjoying the clear spring air and bright sunshine warming your back, and soon you were able to safely risk showing your affection. As did every other part of you, your lips fit together perfectly. Dean kissed you so well, you wondered how you ever thought anyone else was any good at it. He took over all your senses, making little happy noises when your tongue slid against his, surrounding you with his arms, filling your nose with the scent of his aftershave and sweat, and leaving the taste of the pie he’d had with breakfast in your mouth. You finally came up for air, still trading little nibbly kisses until you both accepted that the hunt wasn’t done, yet, and you needed to finish it. You stayed in his arms an extra moment, foreheads touching, both reaffirming that you were still here - still alive - and uninjured after the fight.

“Love you,” you whispered, looking through your lashes at the bright green of Dean’s eyes. They always seemed greener in the spring, somehow.

“Ditto,” he whispered back, before landing one last peck on your lips and smacking your ass playfully.

“You’re lucky I love you, or I would have told Sam how you watched that movie, and enjoyed it, a long time ago!” you teased as the two of you split up to head to Baby’s trunk and get cleaning supplies.

Walking ahead of you with those long legs, Dean turned around, walking backward for a step, and gasped loudly. “You wouldn’t!” he cried with eyes wide and his mouth turned into a pout, clearly knowing that you really wouldn’t, but playing your game, anyway.

“That’s right, I wouldn’t because I love you. Now, aren’t you lucky?” you scolded while still grinning.

He stopped you, cupping your face in his hands and kissing you, yet again. “Luckiest man in the world,” he echoed, before turning away and unlocking the trunk.

While Dean was digging through the trunk to find a matchbook to go with the can of gas you were holding, you saw something move out of the corner of your eye. Years of hunter awareness sent the hair on the back of your neck standing up while you searched the nearby tree line for another sign of movement. The barn was in the back forty of a farm abandoned at least a decade earlier, so wildlife of all kinds had taken over. The tree line was nothing more than just that: a line of trees that marked the edge of the farm. Over the years, bushes and smaller trees had filled in the gaps between the larger trees, making it a more formidable barrier. Where you guessed you might have been able to see through it years ago, now, it was overgrown and impenetrable. Except for the driveway the vampires had tamed, the grass in the surrounding fields was all knee-high and waving in the breeze. Figuring it was either one of the taller weeds in the grass or an animal, you convinced yourself to let it go as Dean slammed Baby’s trunk lid shut.

The barn had plenty of hay for kindling, but much of it had gotten wet from the holes in the roof. Dean was hauling bales and generally kicking up dust when you inhaled a bit and started sneezing uncontrollably.

“Head outside, honey, and I’ll finish up here,” Dean urged while you continued sniffling and sneezing. “Go use up some of those tissues you keep stashing in my car when you think I’m not looking!”

Not able to speak, you just nodded and headed back out into the sunshine, which started another round of sneezes. You were blowing your nose when you saw another bit of movement by the tree line. Keeping your eyes trained on the grass and bushes that had moved, you finished with the tissues and grabbed your gun from the holster on the back of your belt.

Gun trained in front of you, safety off, you slinked towards the tree line, keeping your eyes moving left to right, looking for another anomaly in the swaying of the grass and weeds. When you reached where you’d seen the movement, there were signs that someone had been standing there all around. Trampled grass, broken branches in the trees and bushes, and then footprints in the mud drew you further into the miniature jungle. You were almost out and on the other side when you were grabbed from behind, a hand put over your mouth to dampen your screams.

Whoever it was pulled you backward, knocking you off your feet so you stumbled. The body behind you spun you and pushed you up against a tree, knocking the gun from your hand in the process. You tried to shove an elbow back into their ribs, but it was caught, and you were pinned. Your mind swirled, going through the intel you’d gathered with Dean before the hunt. Both of you had been sure of the headcount, but obviously, you were wrong. One of them must have been away for a few days, but now they were home and pissed.

“Calm down, kiddo, I’m not a monster,” said a very familiar voice as you were pulled away from the tree, but still held tightly. “Just take a breath and relax and we can talk.”

A deep breath, a subtle shift in your body, and the picture in your mind became something almost like your husband, but not. Your muscles relaxed, trusting Dean no matter what was happening, even though your mind still whirled. Through the leaves of the trees and bushes, you saw your husband walk out of the barn, looking for something. Maybe looking for you.

“Of all the things I thought I might see when I walked into your dream, I really didn’t expect to see me.” The arms around you loosened and you whipped around to see a carbon copy of your husband standing there.

Well, almost a carbon copy. Different flannel. Different jeans. Fewer laugh lines around the mouth. Less unadulterated love and affection in the eyes.

“Dream?” you asked stupidly, looking back at your husband as he began searching for you around the barn. You didn’t want to believe it, but as you watched your husband in the distance, you saw the differences, the unreality. That didn’t stop your heart and mind from clinging to him, wanting nothing more than to go back to him.

The Dean next to you sighed. “Yeah, kiddo. I’m sorry, but it’s a dream. You got nabbed by a djinn. Sam’s off getting ingredients for the antidote, but I couldn’t just sit by and watch you dying, so I took some dream root.”

Your husband looked absolutely panicked as he ran towards another part of the tree line, searching for you. The sight pulled at your heart. How he missed your trail through the tall grass was a mystery. You’d have to tease him on his lack of tracking skills later when you got home, after the panic was over.

“I need to go let him know that I’m okay,” you whimpered, taking a step towards where your husband was beating back bushes looking for evidence of you.

Dean gently grabbed your elbow and stopped you. “No, kiddo, you really don’t. He’s not real.” With some effort, he turned you around so you were looking at him, this man who was so close, but not quite your husband. “I’m real, you’re real, and the crappy motel we’re asleep in out there in the real world, that’s real. But this is all crap. You can walk away from it all and come back to what’s real.”

Silent tears dripped down your cheeks. Your mind fought against it, but once the magic trick was revealed, you couldn’t go back to believing. Memories of working beside Dean for years, loving him quietly while he fought and died and came back and fought and died again… they rushed back in and overwhelmed you. Memories of a quiet confession of love, a small wedding, and a shared bed quickly took on the sepia tones of a fading dream. A sob ripped from your throat, and you covered your mouth with your hand to muffle it.

“So,” you croaked, sniffling through the tears, “everything… with him,” you nodded at your husband, still literally beating the bushes to find you, “all the…,” a sob stopped you until you could swallow it down, “all the everything with him, it was all a dream?” Turning back to the Dean in front of you, your heart ripped in two. “Just a stupid fucking dream?” His face twisted as he looked down to avoid your eyes, but he still nodded. “And now you’re telling me that I have to leave?” He nodded again, his eyes still on the ground instead of on you.

Your husband was getting closer. He’d see you in a minute. He’d hold you, and comfort you, and love you the way this Dean never would. You could go home with him, go back to the Bunker, where Sam and Eileen were teaching hunter classes to Jody’s girls and a few other new recruits. Jack and Cas were fixing Heaven but always visited for Sunday dinner. Eileen was pregnant, and you were going to be a godparent, and Dean had already built the crib and bought the biggest stuffed unicorn you’d ever seen. You could go home with him and live an entire lifetime with him and your family until the djinn poison took you.

“No,” you declared. “I don’t have to leave. It’s my choice. I can stay if I want. Even if I know it’s a dream, I can stay here.” Looking at the real man your husband was based on, you shook your head and stepped away from him. “Maybe it’s just a dream, but it’s my dream, and I’m staying.”

Your husband crashed through the bushes and finally caught sight of you, with another Dean holding your elbow in one hand. His gun came up, the safety clicked off, and you stepped in front of the real Dean. The move stopped him from firing but didn’t quell his confusion.

“What’s going on, babe? You know that’s not me, right?”

You nodded, tears still streaming down your face. “I know, but don’t shoot. Please don’t hurt him,” you begged. “Just trust me, okay?”

Pushing Dean’s hand from your arm, you walked toward your husband, arms outstretched. He pulled you close and hugged you tightly, gun still pointed somewhat at the other Dean, murmuring about how worried he’d been when he couldn’t find you.

“Who is this guy, anyway? What’s going on?” he asked you, talking into your hair as he held your head against his shoulder with one hand and continued watching his prey suspiciously.

You’d never felt as safe and loved as you did in Dean’s arms. It didn’t matter where in the world you were, or what was happening around you, in Dean’s embrace was your happy place. You’d do anything to stay there. Even die.

“Nothing you need to worry about, honey,” you reassured him, pulling away so you could look him in the eye. “He’s leaving and I’m staying with you. Till death parts us, and then beyond, like I promised.” Cupping his head with your hands, you kissed him, promising to uphold your vows with every fiber of your being.

“Even if it’s only a dream?” your husband asked, his eyes closed as he touched his forehead to yours.

The surprise that he would acknowledge it rocked you, but your decision stayed the same. Nodding, you glanced back at the other Dean – the real Dean – meaning to say goodbye. What you saw there made you pause: pain reflected in glassy eyes.

“It doesn’t have to be a dream,” he said, almost too quietly for you to hear.

You and your husband froze. “What did you say?” you replied, feeling your thoughts move too slowly to fully understand everything that was happening.

“I said,” Dean answered, taking a deep breath, “It doesn’t have to be a dream.”

Your husband felt you pulling away and tightened his hold on you, tugging your chin so you were looking him in the eye. “I love you, honey, and I love our life and we’re gonna live whatever the badass version of ‘happily ever after’ is, remember?” Tears blurred your view of your husband, but you could see the future with him so clearly. “Sammy and Eileen are gonna have their baby, and we’re gonna have the cutest damn niece or nephew ever, and Claire and Kaia are gonna get married, and we’re gonna do the robot at the reception and embarrass the crap outta them, and we’re gonna keep killing monsters until my knees get creaky and your back gives out, and then we’re gonna retire and help Garth with his monster rehab and teach hunter classes in the bunker, right? Maybe get a little house nearby with a porch we can sit on in the evenings and watch the sunset from our rocking chairs. That’s the plan, right?”

Foreheads pressed together, eyes closed, you both sniffled and nodded in agreement.

“Look, I can’t give you a niece or nephew, or a fancy wedding for the girls, or monster rehab and hunter classes,” Dean said from behind you, “but I can give you nights on Baby’s hood watching the stars, and bad jokes while I stitch you up, and the best bottom-shelf bourbon with a side of diner food after a bad hunt.”

Pulling away from your husband a little, you turned your head to hear Dean’s words.

“I can’t promise we’ll get a little house with a porch and a pair of rocking chairs, but I’ll chase the sunset with you in Baby any night you want. Or, if you want to stay in, we can cuddle on my memory foam and watch movies.”

The arms around you loosened, allowing you to turn around, and you could finally see the emotion in Dean’s eyes.

“I’ve wanted to be with you for so long, I can’t even tell you when it started. All I know is that I’ve always thought you deserved the best, and that’s not me.” He waved at your husband, who had let go of all of you except your hand. “He’s better than me, this world is better than me, and if he were real, if this were real, I’d let you go off and live this life without a single regret.” He shook his head, heaved a deep breath, and shrugged. “But it isn’t real – he isn’t real – and you’re not going to live happily ever after, you’re going to die, and I can’t do it. I can’t let you die if there’s anything I can do to stop it. So, this is me, asking for what I want: a future with you. A future where nothing is certain except that I’ll always do whatever I can to make you happy.”

The last link to the dream faded as you dropped your dream husband’s hand and stepped towards Dean. The world around you changed somehow, the colors turning once again to the sepia tones of the dream that it was.

“I always thought you didn’t think of me that way,” you said, your voice trembling with nerves.

“I’ve always thought of you that way,” Dean replied. “But you were so out of my league, I didn’t think you’d ever think of me like that!”

Staring into each other’s eyes, you both chuckled and then reached out towards each other, clasping your hands and moving closer together. Dean had the beginnings of a goofy smile, and you felt it matched on your own face.

“You really mean it? You really want to be with me?” you asked, needing to hear it just one more time.

“How about you shake off this dream and I show you for real?” Dean suggested, bending over, pulling your trusty knife from your boot, and handing it to you.

Holding the knife in your hand, you felt the rightness of it click into place. Dean had given you this knife shortly after you’d met. He’d picked it out with everything about you in mind. It had engravings on the blade and handle that you thought were beautiful, and the handle was a perfect size and shape for your hand. Looking at it, you marveled at how it was so perfectly you, perfectly Dean, and just all-around perfect. Dean had always loved you, and everything about the knife proved it.

“What do I need to do?”

Dean gestured towards his double standing opposite you.

The other Dean – your dream husband – began backing away. “Honey, no! It’s me! We can fix this! It will feel like a lifetime, but you’ll be safe here! No monsters can kill you here! Eileen’s gonna have a girl and that little warrior princess is gonna wrap me and Sammy around her little finger! There are gonna be tea parties! Don’t you want to see all of that?”

In his rambling, he slowed just enough that you were able to catch up to him and slam the knife into his gut. He doubled over, falling to the ground in a heap. As he bled out, still babbling about how life would have been perfect with him, the dream faded to black.

You woke with a gasp, Dean waking in a similar manner at the same time next to you. You both sat up, looking around the room and patting yourselves down. When your breathing settled, all the aches and pains from being strung up by the djinn slammed into you and you groaned.

“Oh, God, that hurts,” you complained, holding your neck where the thick gauze bandage was covering your wound. Looking down at yourself, you saw the dirty clothes and felt the skunky funk that came from being held captive in a dank basement for most of a day.

Gesturing to yourself in all your post-captivity glory, you commented to Dean, “Are you sure you still want to be with me? I mean, I’m not much of a prize.” Although you were supposedly joking, deep down you were giving Dean an out. Just in case he’d only said what he’d said to save your life, and not because he’d meant it.

Dean shifted on the bed until he was sitting right next to you and then carefully cupped your head with his hands so you could only see him.

“I will always want to be with you,” he said, solemnly looking into your eyes so you would see the truth of his words. “You are the best prize. Better than the prize in any cereal box.”

And then he kissed you.

It wasn’t as flawlessly perfect as the kisses you had in your dream – your teeth clashed a little in the beginning, and Dean tasted a little like the chili lime beef jerky you didn’t like – but it was perfect for you.

[forlornmelody]

The Fantabulous Vacation of One Harley Quinn and Her Girlfriend Poison Ivy

Rating: T (suggestive themes, cartoon violence)

Fandom(s): DC Comics

Ship: Poison Ivy/Harley Quinn

Linkage: Ao3

Summary:   Harley's been burning the wick at both ends and Ivy knows just the thing to help. But it takes more than just a change of scenery to get Harley to let go.

Note:  Commission for @rookie009

~*~*~*

“You’re probably wondering Mr---Watchman--”

“Tockman.” Mr. Watchman spits. “William Tockman.”

“Why I’ve brought you here today.”

Mr. Watchman rolls his eyes. “I imagine you’re going to tell me.” 

“Ah! Good. You’ve stopped struggling. Progress, Mister!” Harley boops him on the nose. Maybe she made the binding too tight? “I’m not cutting off your circulation, am I?” She leans in close. “Are you comfortable? I need you comfortable.” 

“I’m tied up in ropes, wench!”

“Ah, see! This is what I’m talking about!” Harley sits across from him and his fainting couch, pulling her pen from her bun and making a heading on her notepad. “You have a whore madonna complex.” Chewing her pen, she murmurs, “perhaps from the trauma of your wife’s death? Cystic Fibrosis, was it?”

Her new patient says nothing. “Mister?” Harley glances up. “Willy?”

“Help!” William Tockman dangles from his left ankle, suspended in air by a beefy vine.  “She’s gonna kill me!” 

“Oh please. You’re hardly worth the trouble.” Ivy steps around him and the vine, brushing the dust off her hands. “Hi Harls!” How she got the vines up this far on this abandoned apartment building, Harley has no idea. But it sure has a lot of brick to climb. 

“Ivy!” Harley doesn’t so much as hug her as ram her at full speed. 

Her target, used to such behavior by now, braces for impact and manages to hug back. Harley takes a big whiff. “Mm. Jasmine?”

“Lilacs.” Ivy peers over at Clock King. “You...uh, busy?”

“Mm yeah. A little tied up at the moment. Or he is, at least.”

“So I see.” Ivy chews her lip, staring out the window as if she had left a reminder there. She makes a face as the draft stirs some of the painting tarp discarded on the floor. “I was thinking maybe we could get out of town for a bit.”

“HELP.” 

“Are you asking for help, Billy? Or do you prefer Willy?”

“HELP ME! THESE WOMEN ARE CRAZY.” 

“Great!” Harley says brightly. “Admitting you need help is the first step towards healing!”

“Harls? Are you even listening?”

“You need help dismantling another CEO along with his company?”

“No.”

“Fundraiser for conservation efforts?”

“Harley--”

“Pride pre-game with Kitty?”

“Harleen.” That stops Harley short. Ivy never calls her that. Mostly cause she hates getting called Pamela with an undying passion. Probably childhood trauma. But Harley digresses. 

Ivy sighs. “Sorry. Look. I need a vacation. We need a vacation.”

“I need help!” 

“SHUT UP ALREADY.” Ivy and Harley say it together, and Ivy waves a hand, muffling Harley’s captive, er, patient with a particularly broad leaf. 

“Mm... I’m a little busy--”

Ivy glances at Tockman, finally. “I can see that.”

“Lemme look at my calendar. Mmm.. maybe...next year? Definitely the one after that.”

“Harls.”

“I know, I know. But there’s my derby team, missions with Task Force X, the Birds of Prey, my day job--”

“I know.” Ivy takes her hands, gently, and squeezes them. It’s the softness that stops Harley in her tracks. “It’s why you need some time off.”

“But--”

“Shh. I already have plane tickets and a hotel booked. You don’t have to plan a thing.”

Harley can’t help the blush creeping up on her cheeks. “Aww, shucks, Ives. When are we leaving?”

“Now. The plane’s departing in--shit. We gotta go.”

“MMRPH.” 

“Oh, right.” Ivy releases Clock King with a patented thud as she shoves Harley out the door. “Bye!”

-----

“So, we’re we goin’?” Harley pushes the arm rest out of the way and rests her chin on Ivy’s shoulder. She glances at Ivy’s phone as if it’ll give her some clues. She spots a sudoku puzzle. “Japan?”

“No.”

“The Amazon?”

“Nope.”

“Themyscyra?” 

Ivy gives her a look. “Really?”

“Er….my mom’s? Please say it’s not my mom’s.”

“It’s not your mom’s.”

“Thank God.”

“Also, why would we fly to your mom’s house when we could easily drive? Or take a commuter bus?”

“Good point. Mm.”

Ivy smooths Harley’s hair out of her eyes. “It’s a surprise.” She snatches a quick kiss before the flight attendant rolls by. “You’ll love it.”

In this moment, Harley’s pretty sure she’d love anywhere as long Ivy’s there with her. She’s lit up by the light of the tiny window behind her, and her crimson locks glow like an angel’s. But Harley knows well enough that neither of them are anywhere close to innocent. “Say, how’d you get us past security?”

Ivy winks at her. 

“No casualties?”

Her lover mockingly brushes her own chest like a scandalized church mouse. “I would never!” she snorts. “They’ll be fine. Just a little dazed and confused.”

Harley leans her head on Ivy’s shoulder. “I know the feelin’.” And really! Harley’s proud of her. Ivy’s never been one to follow rules or care for humans. But she tries for Harley. Why she bothers when Mistah J never seemed to care, Harley has no idea. But it means the world to her. 

-----

The taxi drops them off in front of a large revolving door. But it’s not the gold handles that capture Harley’s attention. 

It’s the lush plants growing from every nook and cranny on the place. Harley bets Ivy could spend an hour naming all of them (scientific names and personal names.) Butterflies and hummingbirds in every color of the rainbow--and the faint buzzing of bees. A solitary stream crosses their path, and a wooden bridge stretches over it. Garden terrace after garden terrace rise up from the ground to an open-air cafe at the top. 

And behind the walls and the hotel proper? A waterpark. 

Harley’s eyes go as big as saucers. “Ivy! You shouldn’t have!” She squeezes her into a hug.

“Thanks, sweet pea, but I can’t breathe.” Ivy manages to get out.

“Oof, sorry. Here ya go.” Harley releases her, and Ivy pecks her on the cheek. 

“Best part is, they’ve a zero-carbon footprint and they’re waste free.” Harley rarely sees her grin so wide.” 

“Whoa.”

“They call it The Greenhouse.”

-----

Their first day at the resort passes in a blur. Harley shows Ivy a good time in and out of their bedroom. They go snorkeling in the ocean, ride the rides so many times Harley ends up upchucking their picnic at the beach, then make love at sunset in their honeymoon suite. Harley wonders if the management thinks they’re--well, they’re as good as, aren’t they? They don’t need rings or a wedding or a place of their own or--

“Harley?”

She blinks. Ivy only calls her that when she’s worried. Harley realizes she’s been staring at the chocolates on their pillows for God knows how long. “Yeah?”

“You okay?”

“Of course!” she says automatically, pulling Ivy into another kiss.

Ivy kisses back, then runs a finger down her cheek. “You’d tell me if you weren’t, right?” The setting sun makes her hair even redder, which Harley didn’t think possible, and Harley finds herself toying with her curls. 

“Hey, I’ve been wonderin’.”

If Ivy notices the change in subject, she doesn’t mention it. “Yeah?”

“How come we haven’t seen any other guests? And how come we haven’t been arrested?”

“Oh! That.” Ivy waves a hand dismissively. “I rented out the whole resort.”

“With what money??”

Ivy shoots her a wicked look that sends shivers down Harley’s spine. “Ace Chemical’s investment fund.”

“Ooooh, you’re naughty.” 

Harley dives in for another kiss but Ivy puts a finger to her lips. And doesn’t let her suck on it. Rude. “So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”

“Since we’ve got all this extra cash, wanna make a run at the casino? I hear they donate the proceeds to rainforest restoration.”

“Alright.” Ivy sighs and reaches for her dress. Harley has a sinking feeling that she’s going to bring this up later. Maybe if Harley’s lucky she’ll forget about it? Yeah. Ivy forgets things all the time. 

“Last one there buys the first round!”

-----

Ivy and Harley sit across from each other, an immaculate brunch setting between them and two mimosas. Her lover’s plate sits almost empty, and while Harley’s lies largely untouched. She keeps playing with her veggie egg white omelet, but the next bite never seems to make it to her mouth. “And then we can go for a walk on the beach later! Have you seen those beds? Right there on the water? Mm. Do you think anyone would hear us if we--”

“Harley, wait.”

“Like, the sound of the waves would cover it up, right? Mm. Maybe not. I’m loud. Not as loud as--”

“Harley, no. Stop. Stop.” Ivy presses her hands on either side of Harley’s face, drawing her to a standstill and inches away from her. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I want to!”

Ivy gives her a sad smile, shaking her head gently. “You don’t have to impress me, Harls. I love you.”

Harley, in typical Harley fashion, vibrates with energy. “But…I want this to be special. As special as y--”

“This vacation already is special. Cause you’re here with me.”

“But--” I’m not that special, Harley wants to say. But she knows Ivy won’t let her get away with saying that out loud. She wants to crawl underneath the tablecloth and hide until Ivy leaves. They always leave in the end. Once they get what they want. Mistah J--

“I love you, Harley Quinn.” Ivy takes her hand, gently, rubbing her thumb over her knuckles. “I’m not going anywhere.”

And maybe. Maybe it’s that she doesn’t know what to do if Ivy stays. It’s easier to love someone who doesn’t love her back. It’s safe. Ahem. Emotionally safe, Dr. Quinzel says inside her head. For once, Harley has nothing to say. She’s too busy trying to keep the tears from falling. 

“You don’t have to do anything. I already love you.” Ivy bites her lip--the way she always does when she’s thinking hard. Like how best to resurrect a drooping petunia or a rose bush that has a pest. She takes a deep breath, steeling herself. “And if it’s not too much--too early--to say this: I always will.” 

“You proposin’ or somethin’?” The words tumble out of Harley’s mouth before she can stop them. Her cheeks feel like they’re blushing as bright as Ivy’s hair. 

“I…” Ivy’s eyes widen. “I-I don’t have a ring on me.”

Shit. Fuck. ShitshitshitFuuuuuuuuuck. “I’msorryIdidn’tmeanit.” “It’s way too soon.” Harley puts on her best brave face--the same one she always put on when Bats showed up and Mistah J magically was nowhere to be found. “Marriage is so outda--”

“Harley.” Ivy puts her entire hand over her face. “Quinn.” “I never said I didn’t want to marry you.”

“Mmphwr?” 

“Who wouldn’t want to marry Harley Quinn? You’re amazing.” She traces her eyebrows. “You’re the smartest person I know.” Boops her nose. “You’re impossible to kill. Holy fuck.” Runs her fingertip across her bottom lip. “You…” Ivy presses her lips together, looking down at the table. “You helped me love again when I hated everyone.”

“Pam.” Fuck, she’s getting misty eyed. 

“I mean it. I was ready to wipe humanity off the map and start over.” She laughs a little, her voice rough as she wipes her cheek with the back of her hand. “But then you came along and nominated yourself my new shrink.”

“Don’t give me all the credit.” Wow, okay. Maybe she’s more than just misty-eyed. “You saved me too. From Mistah Jay. From Bats. From what woulda been a really boring life.”

Ivy’s smile slips slightly. “You’re not gonna die on me, are you Harls?”

Harley squeezes her hand. “Nah. You’re stuck with me.” Her words come out a little thick. “For richer or poorer.” 

Her lover leans in close, capturing her lips in a warm kiss. “That’s usually pretty literal for you.”

“HEY.” 

“It’s true! Guess I’ll have to see if Ace or maybe Lexcorp has any funds they won’t miss. I need to get that ring soon. Garnet? Spinel maybe?”

“Aww, shucks. How am I gonna be surprised now?”

Ivy scoffs. “If it’s a real surprise, it’s not a good time for a proposal.”

“But what if I want to be like those girls in those Tik Toks? Like where you propose to me but like I got my own box in my pocket?”

“Harley. A ring box wouldn’t fit in your tiny ass pockets, and you know it.”

“You know what would fit in my shorts?”

“Harleen Francis Quinzel.” Her laughter dissolves in a kiss and Harley pulls her back to their suite. They got a lot of planning to do. Though Harley has a pretty good feeling they’re not gonna get a whole lot of planning done today. But Harley’s okay with that. Pam’s always been the top of her to-do list anyway.

[musette22]

is it weird that I can't even look at their pics right now (seb and chris) because I can't help but feel icky and disappointed? the recent evens reminded me that they are truly two rich and privileged white men who are so dumb just cos they wanna get some. I'm out. Maybe in a year or so I'll check what their projects are. maybe never. I just can't right now. what a shame.

Okay guys, I’ve been debating over whether or not to “open my big mouth” about this (as one anon so sweetly put it once), but I’ve been getting quite a lot of messages like this one and I think I do want to share a few thoughts with you all. I’m going to put them under the cut because this is a long one, and I don’t want to clog up everyone’s dash ❤️

First of all, let me just make it clear that I am fully aware of the severity of this pandemic, especially in some places, including in the US, and that I am in no way trying to make light of any of it or undermine how serious this situation is for a lot of people around the globe right now, many of you included. It’s a terrible situation, and it’s far from over. I’m also not aiming to be an apologist for the bad decisions of privileged white males just because I have a crush on them, because that idea is abhorrent to me, but I’m aware some of you might still feel like I am, and that’s your right.

Having said all that, I am getting a bit worried about all the posts I’ve seen about how people are angry and disillusioned with Sebastian and Chris’s behaviour. I’m not trying to invalidate your disappointment, because it’s totally fair to wish they’d made different decisions, more akin to the decisions you yourself presumably would have made. And if that disappointment goes deep enough then it is absolutely fair if you want to unstan them and stop following or supporting them (that does not extend to sending them hate though, that is not in any way acceptable, no matter how disappointed we are).

But, as anon rightfully points out, the fact of the matter is that they are privileged white male celebrities. This is not news. They (especially Chris) have been successful celebrities for a long, long time, and with celebrity come certain privileges. They can afford massive houses in LA and big apartments in expensive areas in New York City, for instance. They get to go to cool parties, they get free stuff, everyone kisses their ass. They get paid exorbitant amounts of money (Chris much more so than Seb of course) that bear no direct relation to their work and responsibilities anymore, at this point.

And that’s not to say they don’t work hard, they do - but so do most of us, and we’re not getting paid nearly as much as them. It’s inherently unfair, but that’s what celebrity culture (and capitalism) are. Now, I’m not saying everyone has to blindly accept the status quo and just ignore how unfair it all is – far from it. In some ways, I wish more people would denounce celebrity culture, because it is in some senses terribly toxic and unfair. But listen, if you want to stan celebrities because it brings you some joy in this fucked up world, then I think that’s also perfectly understandable. That’s what I’m doing too. And to stan celebs (at least of the calibre of Chris and Seb) we need them to be famous, otherwise we wouldn’t even know them and we would get no content to consume. They are famous because they are in Hollywood movies, and they are in Hollywood movies because they play the Hollywood game - to some extent, at least. Playing the Hollywood game means everything from flying all over the world for movie premieres and leaving a huge carbon footprint, to going to glitzy parties where there a are lots or questionable people present, to “lying” in interviews because of contractual obligations - and sometimes it also means playing along with fake PR rumours or relationships, even if it’s bad PR.

I know people are worried about Chris, and especially Seb, being “bought” by Hollywood and its money and temptations, and losing his integrity and that he won’t be that sweet, soft-spoken, well-read boy who loves his mom anymore. I personally believe that so far, both Seb and Chris have managed to maintain an impressive level of integrity throughout it all, and I’m still hopeful that that isn’t going to change (much).

But it’s not realistic to have the same expectations for them you would have for your loved ones for instance, because they’re not. We have zero relationship to them as people, and they owe us nothing. They give us movies and pictures of their pretty faces, and occasionally good advice or lovely hugs at comic cons, but that’s all we’re gonna get from them. They are not our friends or potential partners. They’re human of course, and in that sense just like you and me, meaning they have feelings and thoughts and a right to privacy and they make mistakes, but their circumstances are wildly different from most of ours. They’re surrounded by the Hollywood circus. They are PART of the Hollywood circus, because they’re actors and if you want to be a successful movie actor you have to play the game to some extent. Sebastian cannot be expected to be home all the time and decline going to parties because he prefers staying in with a good book even if he did prefer that, because that way he’d never be noticed by the people who matter, and who could get him where he wants to be. He said it himself, he’s an ambitious guy. He wants bigger roles, bigger challenges. And he’s not going to get them if he doesn’t do some annoying, dumb shit sometimes, unfortunately.

In my view, that doesn’t make him a bad person who doesn’t care about anyone but himself, but it does make him a privileged human. Being a privileged human also entails some responsibilities, though – if you don’t want to become corrupt, you have to make sure you also use your privilege for good. And in my opinion, both Sebastian and Chris do that. They use their voice and their money to help people less fortunate than them. That’s part of that integrity I was talking about. Some of you may disagree, and that’s fine, but this is how I view it.

As for everyone who is upset with them for traveling to Europe during a pandemic and not wearing a mask in public: I completely understand your frustration, and I am frustrated too. This is literally a deadly virus and it has to be taken very seriously, and unfortunately, they’re not taking it very seriously right now, and that kind of sucks. But the truth is, neither of them are breaking any rules and neither of them is being more callous than the majority of people in the countries they’ve been seen in are. The situation in most of Europe is stabilising (not everywhere, and the UK isn’t doing all that great to be fair), and governments are reopening their countries and facilities. Wearing a mask in the street is not mandatory in either Spain or the UK, except for in specific situations such as public transport or if you’re in certain professions. The rules here are different from those in New York etc. because they have been adapted to how each country is faring. 

I live in the Netherlands, and no one here is wearing a mask in the street, not even in the hospital or at the doctor’s, and yet the situation continues to stabilise (I hope to god it stays that way, but that of course remains to be seen). From my friends in Spain and the UK I have heard the situation is much the same. Yes, Sebastian is acting differently from how he did in New York, but he’s in different circumstances too, so that makes sense. Moreover, both Chris and Seb will have been tested before traveling, because they’re privileged celebrities who have access to testing even where lots of normal folks unfortunately don’t.

Now, I’m not saying both guys shouldn’t just have stayed put and not left the country (especially a country where the virus is still rampant), because they should have, and they’re both dumbasses for not doing so. I am definitely disappointed that they’re not being smarter and more considerate about this, but I recognise that my disappointment in part stems from the fact that I put them on a pedestal that I shouldn’t have put them on in the first place. And I know a lot of you are mad at them for flying to Europe “just to get some”, but that is disregarding the fact that both Sebastian’s holiday and Chris’s trip to London seem to be at least partially for PR reasons, most likely pushed and arranged by their agency. The exact extent of how much of it is PR is still a little unclear to me at the moment, but I think it’s fair to assert at this point that they did not just fly to Europe to “get some.”

I know this is ridiculously long, but I have been thinking about all of this a lot these past few days and wanted to get those thoughts out! I hope most of you can understand where I’m coming from here. Love you guys ❤️

[koala-otter]

park ranger zukka au

this idea comes from the lovely @s-sokka from the zukka discord!! 

features zuko as a park ranger, sokka as a pro-biker (it’s so late, I wrote so much, please excuse this summary)

2.7k words (remember when I said 1k max?? hahahaha)

Zuko had finally reached week three of his tenure as a summer ranger. Only seven more weeks, and he would finally be able to leave behind the Hei Bai Nature Reserve and all of its crazy nature lovers. When his uncle Iroh practically forced him to take the position—explaining that if Zuko refused to work at the tea shop for the summer, he still had to work somewhere, and better yet if he could do it immersed in the meditative balm that was the outdoors—Zuko thought the worst he could encounter was the humming mosquitoes, and maybe the occasional murder hornet. But he was wrong. It was the people. 

There were the little kids who dropped their snack wrappers in the parking lot, and their parents who covered them in noxious insect repellants, and the teenagers who carved their initials into trees. But those weren’t even so bad, because after patiently explaining the downsides of littering, the park’s tiny visitors usually nodded solemnly and picked up their trash, and the fumes of such sprays usually dissipated quickly, and when they had the rules explained to them, the teenagers usually had the decency to be apologetic. 

The worst, by far, was a young man named Sokka. Zuko had seen him plenty of times before, visiting the park with his friends, back before Zuko had known his name. Sokka usually hung out with a young, bald man with tattoos, and two young women, one whose resemblance to Sokka revealed her to likely be his sister, and another one who berated him while holding his hand tightly as they entered the trail. Zuko had thought nothing of him at first as he seemed like just another avid hiker, but all that had changed on his fourth day as a ranger, when he had seen Sokka for the first time on his own. 

Zuko was doing his ranger thing, checking on the different trails in the couple of hours before the park’s closing, when a blue blur sped past him on a mountain bike. Zuko stared after the figure for a few seconds before coming to his senses and chasing after him. 

“Hey! You can’t ride that thing here!” 

The bike stopped ahead of him, and the figure hopped off and took off its helmet to reveal a wolftail and two bright blue eyes looking directly back at him. Zuko tried to ignore the heat building in his face as he finally got to see Sokka’s perfect features and defined muscles up close. 

“Hey, sorry, man, but the terrain’s just perfect for my practice,” Sokka explained, tossing his helmet on the handlebars.

“There are bike paths for a reason,” Zuko said coolly. He reached into the pocket of his cargo shorts and pulled out a pad of paper. “I have to issue you a warning.”

“What?” Sokka said, pulling on his handlebars. “I’ll just go.”

Zuko exhaled in frustration as he scribbled on the pad. “It’s just policy, okay? I don’t want to do it, but I have to. What’s your name?”

At this question, a smug grin filled Sokka’s lips, and he shrugged. “The name’s Sokka,” he said. He waited expectantly for Zuko’s reaction.

Zuko stared at Sokka staring at him. “Okay.” He glanced down at the paper in his hands as he wrote it out, and then looked up to find Sokka still grinning at him expectantly. “Uh, sorry, was I supposed to know that?” He watched as Sokka’s face fell. “Do you work here, too, or something?” he asked in a panic. “Look, it’s only my first week, and I—”

“It’s not that, it’s just—” Sokka sighed and looked up at him despondently. Zuko thought there might even have been a tear in his right eye. “Do you really not know who I am?”

“I—no? Are you famous or something?”

“The pro-biker! Sokka! I won the Omashu tour!”

Zuko turned sheepish as he ripped the paper out of the pad and held it out to Sokka. “Oh, um, sorry. I don’t really follow sports.”

Sokka turned even sadder as he took the paper from Zuko. “That’s okay...Zuko?” he asked, reading his name off of the paper.

Zuko nodded, feeling vaguely regretful for some reason.  Sokka smiled sadly back at him.

“Maybe to make it up to me, though,” Sokka said, waving the warning in the air. “We could forget about all of this?” 

“What?” Zuko asked.

“You know, you could take back the warning,” Sokka continued, starting to hand it back to Zuko. “This never happened, that kind of thing.” He gave Zuko a hopeful grin.

Zuko’s expression hardened, now angry at the thought that he might have been duped. “No!” he barked. 

“Well, fine!” Sokka said, putting on his helmet and pulling his bike toward him by the handlebars again. “I’ll just go then.”

“Yeah, do that,” Zuko replied hotly. He watched as Sokka started to rise onto his bike, and stepped forward to block the path. He pointed to the sign nearby on the trail that read, “Leave only footprints. Take only pictures.” 

“And off the bike,” Zuko almost growled. 

“Fine, jeez,” Sokka said, hopping off once more. He began walking down the path in the opposite direction, away from Zuko, and stuck his tongue out at him. 

As Sokka pushed his bike away, and Zuko continued down the trail, he thought he might never see the other man again in his life. He sighed at the tire tracks in the wet earth of the trail. Never having to deal with them again left him greatly relieved. But, he had to admit, the sight of Sokka’s sad, blue eyes had left a series of knots in his stomach that would take a while to untangle. 

Then the next day came, and the appearance of Sokka nonchalantly fishing off the boat launch quickly proved Zuko wrong. As did every day afterward, as Sokka made appearance after appearance at the park, breaking nearly every rule there was in the park ranger handbook. Zuko turned corners on trails to find Sokka hand-feeding squirrels—“Snack for you, too, jerk?” Sokka would ask, while Zuko would point to another sign instructing hikers not to feed wildlife—or sat in the booth checking in visitors only to suddenly spy Sokka walking toward him with bunches of wildflowers in his hand—“For you, Zuko, even though you wanted to get me in trouble,” said Sokka, brandishing the bouquet in front of him, and Zuko answered, “You’re not supposed to pick the flowers, Sokka, just look at them,” and then took them and put them in a vase because he wasn’t about to waste them—and the number of warnings Zuko had had to issue Sokka in just a week and a half was unprecedented. 

“Is there a limit to these? I mean, is there a point where he gets kicked out?” Zuko had to ask Jeong Jeong, his supervisor, in the middle of his second week.

“I don’t know,” Jeong Jeong replied, in awe at the number of carbon copies of warnings Zuko had dropped on his desk. “We have never had to issue more than one to any individual visitor.” He picked up one for attempted overnight camping without a permit. “Have you spoken to him about the negative consequences of his actions?”

“Of course I talked to him,” Zuko replied loudly, clearly offended.

“Then try talking to him again!” Jeong Jeong practically roared.

Zuko started hiding the warnings.

But Zuko did talk to Sokka, and often. The time Sokka came to the trail with a lemur on his shoulder, and Zuko insisted the animal had to be on a leash to go on the trail—“He’s not a pet, he’s my friend, and he wants to take a walk!” Sokka replied indignantly—they settled for sitting in the booth and tossing nuts in the air for Momo to catch. Sokka almost got away without a warning that day, but when he laughed at Momo’s flying leap for a macadamia and said, “Hey, he likes them even more than the squirrels do,” Zuko had to write another one out. From the smile on Sokka’s face, though, it looked like he understood it as a joke.

Now he was on week three, though, and Zuko had a brand-new pen and pad for warnings, and the tire tracks on the trail had finally been washed away with a passing storm. He felt he could take anything Sokka threw at him this week, maybe even without shaky hands and the feeling that his heart was jumping into his throat each time he approached the other man.

Static sounded from Zuko’s walkie-talkie, and Zuko brought it to his good ear in time to hear someone on the other end.

“Hey, uh, I got a kid who fell out of a tree over here somewhere,” the ranger on the trail said haltingly.

Zuko pressed the transmit button and brought the walkie-talkie to his mouth. “Copy, this is Zuko from the central booth. What trail? Over.”

“Oh, hey, Zuko! It’s me, Chey,” came the response.

Zuko sighed before pressing the button again. “Chey, about the guy who fell out of the tree: what trail? Do we need an ambulance? Over.” 

There was a long line of static before Chey’s voice came back. “I don’t think so,” he said slowly. “I mean, the guy said no, and he looks pretty all right to me. He’s asking for you to come get him.” The static returned once more before clearing abruptly. “Oh, and he says his name is Sokka. Do you two know each other?”

Zuko set down the walkie-talkie and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Copy,” he finally said when he picked the walkie-talkie back up, “I’ll go for him, and you come back and man the booth. And Chey?” 

“Yeah?”

“For the last time, what trail?”

Zuko found himself running down the Panda Lily trail, the first aid kit bouncing at his side as he nearly tripped over the laces of his hiking boots and barely avoided the mud puddles that threatened to suck him in. He passed so many trees, from rhododendron trees to birches and redwoods and everything in between, but none of them had dropped Sokka from their branches, so Zuko kept going. He reached a fork in the trail and stopped abruptly at the tree between the diverting roads, and scanned it for any signs. There were none. He stepped back. 

“Sokka?” he yelled, his voice hoarse as he cupped his mouth with his hands. “Sokka, where are you?”

A beat passed, and then, from far away, he heard, “Zuko!”

Zuko took off down the road on the right, and finally, he spotted Sokka in the distance, leaning against the trunk of a banyan tree. His right leg was bent, and he leaned on it with his elbow, but the other was out in front of him at an odd angle, seemingly useless. He greeted Zuko with a strained grin.

“My knight in shining armor,” said Sokka.

“Ugh, I definitely should have called an ambulance,” Zuko replied. He knelt down gingerly next to Sokka and laid out the first aid kit. 

“Nah,” Sokka said with a shrug, his hand out in a dismissive gesture, “this is nothing.”

Zuko stared at Sokka with a rigid expression on his face, his mouth a tight line.

“Really!” Sokka insisted. “It’s just a sprain. I hurt it a couple months ago, and I’ve been recovering, but I aggravated it.”

“So that’s how you have you all this time to bother me,” Zuko said, gingerly pulling Sokka’s leg straight in front of him. “You’ve been recovering.”

“Well,” Sokka said sheepishly, “I technically do still have practices I should be going to. But it’s more fun to come here and see you.”

Zuko looked up at him sharply, his cheeks flushed, and accidentally jostled Sokka’s leg. Sokka hissed sharply, and Zuko blanched and moved quickly to grab the first aid kit.

“Sorry,” he said quietly.

“S’okay,” Sokka replied, watching his hands unravel a bandage. “It’s my fault for getting hurt in the first place.”

Zuko laughed, low and a little husky. “Yeah, it kind of is.” 

He wrapped the bandage around Sokka’s knee tightly, watching his expression for more pain. Sokka stayed relatively placid, only wincing once, and his mouth usually quirked up in a crooked smile. 

“Why would you climb a tree?” Zuko asked after a while. “That’s like rule number three on the trailhead sign.”

“What can I say?” Sokka said cavalierly. “I’m a rebel.”

Zuko let out a quick, disbelieving laugh. “Right.”

“Hey, you said it yourself! I break all the rules.”

“Yeah,” Zuko said, pinning the bandage in place, “and it’d be great if you stopped. Even my boss has no idea what to do with all of the warnings I’ve been giving you.”

Sokka considered him for a moment. “I’ll stop if you agree to go out with me,” he finally said. 

Zuko dropped a hand to the leaf-littered ground to keep himself from falling over. “What?”

“The tree-climbing? The rule-breaking? I’ve been trying to get your attention this whole time,” Sokka said with a widening grin. 

“My attention?” Zuko asked. His brow furrowed in confusion. “Why?”

“Because I like you,” Sokka replied matter-of-factly.

Zuko shook his head. “But what about the bike thing?” he almost demanded. “You couldn’t have liked me then.”

Sokka tilted his head thoughtfully, bringing one of his hands up to brush his chin. “I will admit,” he said, “although I thought you were attractive, I didn’t like you during the bike thing. But I grew to like you over time.” 

“Over time?” Zuko repeated, crossing his arms.

“C’mon,” Sokka said, poking him on the arm. “Don’t you like me, too?”

Zuko dropped his arms and looked back at the muddy trail. “Yeah, I do.”

Sokka smiled at him hopefully, “So go out with me?” 

Zuko looked back at him, now smiling lightly. “Or else?”

“Or else I’m going to keep climbing the trees.”

“And?”

“Fishing off the boat launch.”

Zuko sighed. “And I can’t trust you to stop there, can I?”

Sokka grinned. “The squirrels aren’t going to feed themselves.”

“Actually, they are, that’s why—” Zuko stopped and sighed. “Okay, yes, I’ll go out with you.”

“Really?” Sokka practically squealed. 

“Yeah,” Zuko said, smiling back at him.

Sokka practically lunged toward Zuko, reaching for his face, but managed to jam his leg into Zuko’s all over again. All at once, his eyes shot wide open, and his head fell back, and Zuko had to catch his arm to keep him from falling over, a low moan of pain twisting from his mouth.

“Sokka!”

“Yep, definitely just a sprain,” Sokka said once he had come back around. He gritted his teeth. “Barely hurts at all.”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “We need to get you to the booth,” he said, reaching for Sokka’s other hand as he pulled his arm over his shoulders to help him up. 

“But you promised you’d go out with me,” Sokka whined.

A small smile brightened Zuko’s face, and a new joy glowed from his eyes. “Yeah, I will,” he said, and before Sokka could make some smart-aleck reply, Zuko leaned toward him, tilting his head slightly at the odd angle from being side-by-side, and kissed Sokka. Even with his injured leg, Sokka came to life beneath him, raising his free hand to cup Zuko’s jaw and brush back the hair falling into his face with his fingers. Birds sang from the tree canopy above them, the leaves shuffled quietly in the shifting wind, and the warmth of dappled sunlight fell across their entangled bodies. If Zuko had not been bearing half the weight of a very heavy and very injured young man, it might have been a perfect kiss. Or maybe that was what made it one.

“All right,” Zuko said when they finally pulled apart. “We should really go.”

“Where are we going again?” Sokka asked, now dazed.

“To the booth.” Zuko helped Sokka hop along beside him. 

Sokka nodded, trying desperately to keep his weight on his uninjured leg. “And then we can go out?”

Zuko smiled, and looked further down the trail. “Yeah, then we can go out.”

[tabloidtoc]

Life & Style, April 26

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Khloe Kardashian is a total fake

Page 1: Lady Gaga in a wedding dress on the set of House of Gucci in Rome

Page 2: Contents

Page 4: The Top 10 SAG Awards Looks -- Mindy Kaling, Jamie Chung, Amy Adams, Sarah Levy, Kerry Washington

Page 5: Kaley Cuoco, Nicole Kidman, Natalie Morales, Viola Davis, Lily Collins

Page 6: Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen celebrated their 12-year anniversary, posting heartfelt tributes to each other on social media, but their relationship hasn't always been so rock solid -- Tom admitted that Gisele has made a lot of sacrifices for their marriage and she hated living in Boston because she had no friends there and felt so alone because Tom was never around; things got so bad they sought counseling, which was the wake-up call that Tom needed -- he promised to make changes and he agreed to quit the Patriots and sign with a team in a location that was more desirable to Gisele and Tom stuck to his word and he came the new quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and since moving to Florida, Tom and Gisele have never been happier and they have date nights every week and always make sure to communicate -- it wasn't easy, but they're both really proud of how far they've come

Page 7: After multiple delays, David Schwimmer, Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston, Lisa Kudrow, Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc have finally filmed the highly anticipated Friends reunion special and they all got really emotional when they saw the set and being there brought back so many fond memories -- it's the first time in 17 years that fans will get to see the entire cast together since the show went off the air in 2004 -- afterwards, everyone went to Jen's house for dinner -- each of the stars was paid $2.5 million to appear in the special

* Throwback -- Dolly Parton in 1965

* Biggest Spenders of the Week -- Bobby Flay, Aaron Rodgers, Vanessa Hudgens, Angelina Jolie

Page 8: Drew Barrymore revealed that, after three divorces and a string of failed romances, she's sworn off marriage altogether -- Drew doesn't need a man to feel complete and she's happiest hanging out with family and friends -- if the right guy comes along later down the line, great, but for now, she's content with being single

* Becoming one of the most sought-after stars in Hollywood has gone straight to Ana de Armas' head -- the cast and crew are often left waiting for the actress to emerge from her trailer on the set of the new action thriller The Gray Man -- Ana's got a lot going on and she's juggling several different projects, as well as photo shoots and phone calls with her team and people don't stay mad at her for too long, but they have nicknamed her Ana de Diva, but she isn't upset by the scathing moniker because she's a big name now, and with that comes a lot of responsibility and the way she sees it, there are worse things than being called a diva

Page 10: The Week in Photos -- Orlando Bloom got a surprise visit from the Easter Bunny

Page 11: Jennifer Lopez in jeans at a photoshoot for InStyle, Priyanka Chopra dancing around her backyard in a bright yellow dress

Page 12: Animal Tales -- Gilles Marini posed for a pic with his African grey parrot Anya, singer Madison Beer leaned in for a kiss from a caramel-colored stallion, Kate Beckinsale's feline Clive seemed less than thrilled when Kate strapped him to her chest in a carrier

Page 13: Kaia Gerber and her precious pooch Milo snuggled up in bed, Malin Akerman and a goat

Page 16: Stars Behaving Badly -- Lisa Vanderpump let her parched dog drink from her water glass at a restaurant in West Hollywood, Maisie Williams went topless under a translucent jacket while shooting a new TV series about the Sex Pistols in London, HGTV Design Star host Allison Holker used a megaphone to give out instructions to Property Brother Jonathan Scott on the show's finale, Calvin Klein wasn't worried about stains when he shoved a pile of spaghetti into his mouth at West Hollywood's Mauro Cafe

Page 18: Say What?! Helena Bonham Carter who turns 55 in May, Chelsea Handler who admits she consumes mushrooms almost every day, Olivia Munn who is the proud pet parent of rescue dogs Frankie and Chance, Melissa McCarthy on doing her own stunts in Thunder Force, Brian Tyree Henry on Godzilla vs. Kong co-star Millie Bobby Brown

Page 20: Pete Davidson has officially moved out of his mother's home and into a $1.2 million luxury high-rise condo on Staten Island, and it's all thanks to his new girl girlfriend, Bridgerton star Phoebe Dynevor -- the Saturday Night Live star showed off his two-bedroom, two-and-a-half bathroom bachelor pad during a Zoom call -- Phoebe is a down-to-earth girl, but she doesn't want to date a man who lives in his mom's basement and she thinks Pete's mom, Amy, is awesome and says it's a great thing that they're super close, but being in a long-distance relationship is difficult enough so Pete and Phoebe need some alone time when they're together, which was almost impossible with his mother hanging out upstairs -- Pete knew it was time; he just needed that gentle nudge

Page 21: Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell were spotted in NYC together, sparking speculation that the former Bachelor couple have rekindled their relationship -- the pair parted ways while the show was still airing after photos of the graphic designer at a plantation-themed college party in 2018 surfaced on social media -- Rachael made a mistake but she owned up to it and was willing to learn from it and it didn't change her feelings for Matt or vice versa and Matt was in love with Rachael too and he couldn't just turn those feelings off so no one would be surprised if they decided to reconcile

* Michael B. Jordan's girlfriend Lori Harvey was left reeling over photos of the actor sharing a smooch with Chante Adams on the set of their new movie A Journal for Jordan -- of course, they were just shooting a scene for the film, but Lori was still annoyed and she asked Michael about it, and he brushed it off and explained it was part of the job but Lori still has her suspicions and she's been thinking about dropping by the set just so she can keep a very close eye on them

Page 22: Cover Story -- Khloe Kardashian living a lie -- devastated by an unretouched photo leak, Khloe faces claims she's a body positivity hypocrite as she demands the viral image be taken down

Page 26: Alex Rodriguez to Ben Affleck: Back off my fiancee -- Ben gushes about ex Jennifer Lopez in a new article and A-Rod isn't happy about it (not quite Bennifer yet :)

Page 28: Prince Harry overwhelmed with work -- Harry struggles to adjust after trading his cushy royal role for a variety of normal gigs -- though his job for BetterUp is primarily remote, added stress comes in the form of Harry's Spotify and Netflix deals, plus growing charity work -- Harry finds all of his new, non-royal titles fresh and exciting, but while he's a great person, some in his inner circle say Harry's kind of dumb and worry whether he can handle the pressure

Page 30: Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli life after prison -- reunited following months spent behind bars, Lori and Mossimo try to pick up the pieces -- prison definitely took a toll on Mossimo and he doesn't expect sympathy, but he's still struggling to adjust to what he went through; it really broke him down and forced him to reevaluate his life

Page 32: Who Lives Here? Lil Nas X

Page 34: Entertainment

Page 35: Star Review -- Jonathan Van Ness

* As Seen On-Screen -- Meghan Markle wore a dark green coat while walking through Archie's Chick-Inn during her CBS interview which was J. Crew's Perfect Lightweight Jacket

Page 36: Go Green at Home -- reduce your carbon footprint even more with these eco-chic essentials, because our planet can use all the help it can get

Page 37: Beauty Crush -- get Jurnee Smollett's look from her makeup artist Emily Cheng for the SAG Awards

Page 38: Spring Beauty Must-Haves -- these product picks aim to reign as new-season favorites -- Camila Mendes

Page 40: Diva or Down-to-Earth? Rihanna bagged her own haul at Bristol Farms in Beverly Hills -- down-to-earth, Shay Mitchell worked from home with help from her most trusted assistant daughter Atlas -- down-to-earth, during a photo shoot in Malibu Brooke Burke got a makeup refresh from a personal primper -- diva

Page 42: Social Stars Posts of the Week -- Sofia Vergara sneaking Heidi Klum a chip on the set of America's Got Talent, Neil Patrick Harris finished the first season of The Irregulars while quarantining in Toronto, Jared Leto pretended to pluck the moon straight out of the sky during a masked outing in Italy, Beyonce treated her daughter Blue Ivy to a meal at Nobu in Malibu

Page 44: Horoscope -- Taurus Gigi Hadid turned 26 on April 23

* They're Not Together, But They Should Be -- Capricorn Charles Melton and Virgo Zendaya

Page 48: What I'm Into -- Kameron Westcott of The Real Housewives of Dallas

[mercurryblack]

Chapter 6: Rudyard

Day six: the investigation fruitlessly continues.

❃❃❃

“Any luck today?” Yuen asked.

After six fruitless days of combing over Berilo’s house and garden, LLAC had once again returned to the usual meeting place. By that time, Yuen, Rudyard and Sardion were already waiting for them, and the sun was inching down past the horizon.

Lillian shook her head in disappointment. “Nothing. We searched the house from roof to basement as usual, but we didn’t find anything that wasn’t already marked or mentioned in the initial report.” She informed them.

“Yeah, same here.” Cait added. Under their breath, they grumbled; “This is so not cool at all.”

The search of the garden on the first day had been under pleasant weather, but that was the only upside that they recalled— most of that day had just consisted of crawling around underneath the plants and staring at every inch of grass and dirt for footprints. Consistently, the highlight of each passing day seemed to be their short lunch break.

Sardion sighed. “We’re in the same boat, then. Nothing turned up for us, either— I guess we’ve hit a dead end.” Yaara’s house, in comparison had been spick and span, just like how she organized it. Like Berilo’s, a blood spatter marked the area where she had died, but the house was in better shape than his— the door was still on its hinges, with no sign of lockpicking.

“So, what are we going to do next, Detective?” inquired Rudyard. Despite his annoyance at the lack of any new leads, he managed to keep his tone calm.

Yuen raised a hand to her temple, exhaling heavily. “For now, we should head back to my office. I’m sure the lot of you are hungry, I have some food stashed there. We can talk over a nice meal.” she answered.

Sardion raised an eyebrow. “You keep food in your office, too?”

“Ah, just some Dr. Piper and a few packs of Simple Wok instant noodles,” Yuen replied. “…Er, lots of Simple Wok instant noodles, to be honest.”

***

Yuen prepared some water for the instant noodles on a hot plate, as the group sat huddled in the small space.

“Sorry that this is all I have. Whenever us detectives need to stay for the night, cup ramen and soda become our nectar and ambrosia.” She said, sounding a bit embarrassed.

Rudyard laughed, giving Sardion a gentle nudge in the arm. “It’s alright, detective. Truth be told, it makes me remember when I was back in the academy. Sardion, Berilo and I used to sneak boxes of these from the cafeteria to our rooms every once in a while, so that we could have late-night snacks every time we needed to stay up to finish our written assignments.”

“Oh gods, yeah, I remember that.” Sardion said. “And you remember that time Yaara yelled at all of us because we pulled an all-nighter and made the entire room smell like broth? She said if we had just eaten enough at dinnertime like ‘normal people’, we wouldn’t be hungry and therefore wouldn’t stink up the dorm. She was right, of course, but that never stopped us from doing it again and again.” He started laughing along with Rudyard.

“Man, we should try that out, Hattie.” Cait suggested. “Knowing ol’ Branwen, there’s no way that he’ll let me off of that paper just for this assignment, so we might as well have something to eat.”

“Yeah!” Hattie agreed. “We can eat whenever we want!”

Sardion adopted a comically authoritative demeanor. “Hey, hey, bad idea. Don’t do it. And if you ignore me and get caught, don’t tell Lionheart we did it too at our time there. But, if you pull it off and don’t get caught, then you gotta tell us how you did it.”

Rudyard shook his head, grinning. “Man, we must’ve done it ‘til the day we graduated. That grouchy old lady who worked there would always wonder why some of their food was lost, but we never got the blame for it.” He clicked his fingers “Say, you remember the time Hidalgo and Gin found her stash of chocolate pudding and took as much as they could carry?”

“The Great Pudding Robbery of ‘56. How could I ever forget—?”

This time, it was Lillian’s turn to interject. “Wait, Hidalgo? As in Hidalgo Ferrante?”

Sardion turned to her, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, he was one of our pals in the academy. You know him?”

“Sort of.” Lillian replied. “I mean, I’m dating his daughter right now.” She explained, her cheeks reddening slightly.

“Wait, no kidding?” Sardion’s eyes widened. Turning to Rudyard, he mouthed ’did you know?’

“Yeah, her name’s Rosario.” Rudyard continued. “Talks about her all the time. Showed me a picture of her once, too— she’s definitely her old man’s daughter, has his eyes.”

As he spoke, Yuen sat down with them, placing the pot of now-boiling water in the middle and gesturing to the box of cup ramen. “Okay, grab whatever flavor of noodles you want. And before we continue with the nostalgia and all that, we should first discuss what we want to do next.”

“But… we still haven’t really found anything. How are we supposed to know our next move?” Amaryllis asked.

“Well, it’s not like we can just sit here until something else happens.” answered Yuen.

“Actually, they could stand to do so.” Sardion suggested, indicating LLAC with a nod of his head. “Not for long, but just half a day should suffice. We need to have clear heads, and that goes double for you, Detective— you’ve been pulling all-nighters trying to connect the dots on that corkboard. We all deserve a moment’s rest before we try facing the problem head-on.” he suggested.

Rudyard pensively nodded. “Sardion and I can carry our own independent investigations during then. We’ll try and reconvene with you in the evening, Detective, and LLAC can join us the next morning. The last couple of days have been a whirlwind, and while I’ve no intention of stopping my search for the killer, I don’t want us to burn out— or you guys, for that matter.”

After a moment’s pause, Yuen nodded in agreement. “Alright, team, you kids get tomorrow off starting at noon, and you two get the morning to make your own inroads. But when we all get back, we immediately pick up from where we left off, agreed?” She remarked.

“Agreed!” LLAC responded in unison.

***

“You know, despite all the preservatives, this stuff isn’t half bad.” Lillian said, shoveling a hunk of chicken-flavored noodles into her mouth. “I can see why people would get addicted to it.”

Yuen laughed. “What, don’t tell me you never ate this growing up? Not even once?”

Amaryllis shook her head as she followed her sister’s example, holding up a cup of beef-flavored noodles. “Aunt Izzy was always pretty strict about what we ate. Sure, we had breakfast cereal and juice and the occasional sweets, but that was pretty much it. Said that we had to follow a good diet, and that taste was one of the first things Huntresses sacrificed in the field.” She slurped some of the broth. “Hope I never have to find out what she meant by that.”

“Mmmllpphh... uhh knww whuhh duhs’ lhhk,” Cait said through a mouthful of noodles. “Than’th fuhh th’ muhhll.”

Yuen nodded. “No problem, kid. Eat up, you need it.”

“RRURRRRRP!” Their conversation was interrupted by a loud burp from Hattie. “Ah, ‘scuse me.” She said sheepishly

“Hah! I’ll have whatever she’s having!” Sardion laughed, countering her with a slightly louder belch of his own.

He barely even finished before the petite girl grinningly returned the favor with an even louder eructation.

“Are you… perhaps challenging me, Miss Lazuli?” Sardion inquired, his face turning comically stony as he repressed the urge to snicker.

Hattie smirked, holding up an unopened soda can. “Mayb—b—buUUUURRRRUUUPPPP!”

“Oh, for the love of…” Lillian groaned at the childish antics of the two. “Okay, saying it right now; I’m not being the judge this time.”

***

“Okay, you two, you know the rules. Whoever burps the longest wins, brownie points for whoever starts the loudest,” Amaryllis recited, holding up the timer on her Scroll, her finger raised just above the screen. “Ready.”

Sardion and Hattie each snapped open a can of soda, looking each other dead in the eye as they did so.

“I must let you know, Miss Lazuli, that I was the burp-off champion of Haven Academy in my time.” boasted Sardion.

“That was a long time ago, old dude. Now, it’s my time to shine.” Hattie shot back.

“Set.”

Both of them raised the metal edges of the cans to their lips, still maintaining their locked gaze.

“Last chance to back out, kiddo.” Sardion said, in a taunting voice.

Hattie didn’t reply, but narrowed her eyes and gave Sardion a thumbs-down.

“Go, Sardion.” Rudyard cheered halfheartedly yet amusedly, who sat on the couch watching the game.

“Get him, Hattie!” Cait crowed.

“Begin!”

Glup, glup, glup, glup. Both Hattie and Sardion began swigging down their cans in one long draught, their eyes beginning to water against the drink’s stinging carbonation. Within the span of a few seconds, they had poured every last drop down their throats, only for their cheeks to pouch as the carbon dioxide came rushing back up their gullets.

“Aaaaaaand… go!”

(For the reader’s own sake, this ridiculous match has been abridged by the author, who apologizes for this shameless, childish, and blatantly filler chapter. If you wish for a much funnier burping match, please follow this link.)

“And… time!” Amaryllis turned off her Scroll’s timer as Hattie and Sardion’s burps died down at the same time. “Geez! Thirteen seconds, not bad.” She remarked, swiping on her CCCT browser. “Says here that the world record’s over forty, apparently.”

“Which one had that time?” Hattie asked, wiping her chin with the crook of her elbow.

“Both of you, actually. Tie.” Amaryllis said, lifting her gaze.

Without missing a beat, Hattie grabbed another can of Dr. Piper and thrust it at Sardion. “AGAIN!”

***

While they continued with their childish contest, Cait, Lillian, and Rudyard were busy talking about some of their older missions. Cait found the pair’s recollection of the Kumoyuri assignment far more interesting than the day’s work, and found the part where Lillian had gotten dunked in mud wildly funny.

Personally, they didn’t find their extracurricular Grimm-hunting work to be as interesting, but Rudyard still politely listened nonetheless. Lillian, having been there along with Cait, only half-listened to them as she poured water into another cup of noodles.

“Oh, man. So there we were, looking right in the eye the largest Boarbatusk I’ve ever seen in my whole life. It huffed, and it puffed, it almost blew us away, but we still weren’t scared!” Cait exclaimed, gesturing with their hands to the best of their ability. “Thing is, it was pretty simple once we got down its attack pattern. Charge, turn around, charge, turn around, snort, repeat. Fourth pass around, Hattie managed to chop off its tusks with Whirligig… uh, her saw-gun thingamabob.” They continued, snapping their fingers as they tried to recall the exact name.

“Whirling Dervish.” Lillian said.

“Yeah, that, thanks Lilly.” Cait said, nodding. “Well, as I was saying, she cut off its tusks and got its face pretty good, and I shouted, ‘Guess you’re just a “Boarba” now!’” They sniggered for a moment at their own joke. “You wanna know why I called it that?”

Rudyard chuckled, bracing for the terrible pun he knew was incoming. “No, I have no earthly idea. Why?”

“Because it lost its tusks. Gettit? Boarba? No ‘tusk’? Cut its tusks off?” Cait grinned, acting as if the wordplay had been anything resembling clever.

“Oooof.” Rudyard groaned, shaking his head despite the grin on his own face. “Bad one.”

“I know, right? I should get an award for my combat banter. S’not as easy as everyone thinks it is.”

“Ignore them.” Lillian said, rolling her eyes.

Rudyard leaned back, taking a helping of his own noodles. Despite his inner tension, the pain he still had in his heart, he felt relaxed and eased by LLAC’s company. It felt nice for all of them to gather like one big family, even facing the stark reality of the next day to come. It would take far more than one good night to heal, but watching his protégé and her team… it filled him with determination.

It gave him strength and determination, seeing the new generation take the reins the old had once held. More importantly, it gave him hope.

[mymelodyheart]

Starting Over Chapter 29 ~The Reality~

.

  Geillis sat at her kitchen table, looking bright and chipper and way too put together at seven AM Tuesday morning. Geillis had invited herself over for breakfast and coffee before Claire started her shift at The Royal Hospital for Sick Children. It had been ages since they've seen each other, and a much-needed catch up was just what they both needed.

Before she'd started her new job, it had been a tense and hectic past few weeks. While Jamie had been away most of the time in London, Claire had been preoccupied applying for a residency program and meeting for job interviews. When the news of Gerald Forbes' arrest, Geneva Dunsany's stripping of gold medals and investigations in William Dunsany's business' dealings reached her, she'd dreaded her name would be mentioned in the newspaper and evening prime time news. To her relief, Ned Gowan had made sure that didn't happen. Only certain parts of the recording were released to the media, specifically the section where Forbes admitted to spiking Jamie's drink and accepting bribes from Dunsany. Since her voice was disguised with an audio editing application, it had been automatically assumed the sting was done by an undercover reporter; hence, no questions were further asked of the identity of the voice.

The days that followed were even made more stressful after Frank pleaded her to drop the charges against him and requested an out of court settlement, offering her monetary compensation instead. Not having the heart to see a licence stripped away from a brilliant doctor, Claire conceded under the condition he wouldn't practice medicine in Scotland for five years and that he would work for Doctors Without Borders for at least two years before returning to England. Frank agreed without contest, and a settlement was made and signed. But it was only when she had her belongings that he'd been keeping, returned and was informed he'd left Edinburgh for good, was she able to relax and concentrate on her future.

"So, Jamie is back in London again," Geillis remarked, in-between bites of her toast. "Another business trip?"

Claire filled their mugs with coffee and sat down. "I guess you can call it that. Jamie was invited by BBC to a morning show interview," she explained. "And while he's there, he's doing a few photoshoots for some razor commercial and finalising the sale of his properties. He should be back by tomorrow."

"Oh that's good but why aren't ye staying over at his place? Besides me wanting to have a nosy in his posh apartment, it's nearer to yer work and more convenient for him to see ye when he returns from London. And hello ...less carbon footprint."

She took a sip of her coffee and leaned back on her seat, twisting her head from side to side to relieve the tension in her neck. Her new job wasn't as demanding as in the Royal Infirmary; nevertheless, she felt the effects of the long hours at work. "Jamie already suggested that but he's away most of the time and I kind of like my place and ..." she trailed off, shrugging.

"Aaand ... it's a huge commitment and too soon after ye've just got yer stuff back from Frank and ye think he's more into parading himself in the public's eye than he's into ye," Geillis filled in the blanks before scooping some egg into her mouth. 

Claire didn't answer, as she toyed with her fork.

"Ye miss him, aye?"

She nodded, giving her friend a wistful smile. She did miss Jamie a lot. Ever since the problems with his former agent settled, she'd seen less and less of him. She knew he was trying to put together something for the future, but at the worse of times, she felt mildly resentful not seeing him as much and hated herself for feeling that way. They've been wrapped up in their own bubble of bliss, she hadn't thought about where their relationship was heading to. Their feelings were out there, larger than life and scary as hell, and now they have to find a way to make this thing work in the real world with their conflicting schedules. But lately, with Jamie's numerous endorsements pouring in, to represent big-name companies and merchandises, she wondered if their relationship could survive and if there was even a hint of truth in what Forbes had told her that Jamie was meant for the limelight.

"Ye think Jamie is going to be lured back to his celebrity lifestyle and ye're waiting for the bomb to fall, is this what's this about?" she asked as if uncannily reading her thoughts.

Damn the girl for being so perceptive.  She straightened up on her seat and smeared butter on her toast. "What makes you think that?" she asked, trying to look nonchalant, which was silly really considering Geillis could read her like a book.

Geillis rolled her eyes and sipped her coffee. "It's pretty apparent ye're not too thrilled with the load of work he's getting. But if he's going to start this rugby academy ye were talking about, all the exposures and the money he could earn from those adverts will help."

"You're beginning to sound like Forbes," Claire scoffed, pointing the butter knife at her. "And I don't like it."

"And ye're letting fear and doubt grow its ugly head," she quipped, toast shrapnel spraying out from her mouth.

"Good God, Geillis ... that's gross. Don't talk when you're mouth is full."

"Stop changing the subject," Geillis admonished. She crunched down on her toast and gave her a false smile, deliberately exhibiting bits of food between her teeth. "In a perfect world, ye could both get what ye want, dream job and time for each other. But that's no' the case, so ...if ye have issues with Jamie's work and wotnots, ye should be more proactive in addressing them instead of sulking." 

"I'm not sulking ...or maybe I am a little. But here's the thing ... I've only seen Jamie for two days for the last couple of weeks. Even when he's here in Edinburgh, either he is unavailable and rushing off somewhere to meet someone important, or he's in the gym. When I'm at his place, he's either too tired to do anything, asleep already, or he has to wake up early ...so there's really no point of me staying there. It's nuts really, I'm seeing less of him now that we're together than when he was trying to pursue me. We talk and text a lot on the phone, but it doesn't make being separated any easier. This evil paranoia is constantly nagging in my head that he's bored with me and finding limelight more exciting. But then he makes up for his absence by regularly checking up on me or having food delivered either at my workplace or here at home because he knows I forget to eat sometimes. And my distrustful and illogical side creeps in and tells me he's just keeping me interested. But when he's holding me, all those whispers in my head shut up."

Geillis wiped her mouth with a napkin and reached for her hand. "Ach, hen, he loves ye. Ye ken fine I have this built-in radar inside me that can detect bullshit from miles away. That man of yers lights up like a Christmas tree whenever ye're around. Why not talk to him and tell him how ye're feeling."

"God, no. I sound already petty and clingy hearing myself talk. Not going to happen."

"Hmmm, have ye been reading things written about him in social media again?" Geillis asked, already knowing the answer and looking on disapprovingly. "Jamie already told ye not to."

Claire sighed and slumped back in her chair. "I can't help it sometimes," she reasoned. "I see something nice written about him, and that makes me happy, and I look for more, but then I end up reading gossips about him that aren't true. I'm supposed to be prepared for this. When Jamie and I first got together, I knew what I was getting into, and I knew our relationship would have some degree of disappointment and compromise. I understand Jamie's work is very important to him, and quite rightly so. But it's still difficult to accept that I'm someone whose boyfriend is lusted after by thousands of women and the way my work colleagues talk behind my back and look at me, serves as a reminder. I thought those days in the limelight would be over when he told me about the academy, but it seems the interviews and photocalls have doubled. I need to find a way to be alright with that because I know those public appearances will help promote his academy. It's just that when I rarely see him, it's so hard and I can't help but think it's the start of our end."

"Quit that rubbish talk for crying out loud! Ye just have to remind yersel' its just work," Geillis pressed in a firm tone. "Whatever is happening right now doesn't change the way he feels about ye." She got up, taking her plate and mug over to the sink to rinse them and put them into the dishwasher. "His popularity has a short lifespan, Claire, most especially now that he's turning down work left, right and centre from other networks. Once the academy is up and running and the talk about his BBC award dies down, the news will be onto something new. And as for Jamie, he will eventually fade into the background as he wouldn't have time for anything else other than building his new business venture. Nobody knows how long this ride is going to last, so he might as well take advantage and get as much exposure out of it."

"I know, I know. You're right with everything you said." Claire cleared the rest of the dishes on the table and stood up. "That's why I don't want to say anything to Jamie. You taking Jamie's side when you've always taken mine can only mean I sound really downright pathetic."

Geillis dried her hand and turned around to face her, giving her a thoughtful smile. "Not pathetic at all and I understand why ye're worried. Not everyone would have been able to handle being in a relationship with Jamie. God, if he was my boyfriend, I'd never let him out of my sight because he's too pretty for his own good. But as an objective bystander, I can hundred per cent assure ye, that man is working his arse off to get that business of his going so he can have a normal life with ye."

She packed her laptop in its case and drank the rest of her juice. "That's what I tell myself all the time. It's just hard when we hardly have a moment to ourselves and when I'm left alone with my own thoughts, that's when it becomes dangerous. All these niggling doubts surface from out of nowhere and play havoc with my logic." 

"Ach, Claire. Sometimes I wish ye could see the way he looks at ye when ye're not looking. He looks at ye like ye're the sun itself and it makes me want to puke seeing all that lovefest spewing out of him."

This time Claire laughed out loud and allowed the tension and uncertainties of the future to slowly fade away. Thank God she had Geillis to talk sense into her. After everything that happened recently, she really needed to exorcise all those demons that Forbes and Frank left behind because unless she did that, they would continue to rule her waking hours, even though they were no longer in their lives,

..........

Claire stripped off her clothes and climbed into the shower. She had forty-five minutes to get ready before Jamie arrives. She'd received a text earlier while at work telling her he was in the airport in London waiting to get into the plane and he would be heading straight to her as soon as he landed and they would go out on a dinner date.

The water was hot, and it felt good just to stand there and let it run over her skin as she tried to release the tension in her muscles. It had been a long day at work running from ward to ward, and although she loved her job, working with sick children was often challenging since it affected her more on an emotional level. They were innocents and should be untouched by illness and injuries and be out there thriving and healthy instead of being in the hospital. Despite trying her hardest to remain professional, it still proved difficult to not get attached to her young patients.

Suddenly realising the water was getting colder, she quickly lathered some shower gel on her skin and shampoo on her hair. When she turned around to rinse herself, she nearly screamed when she saw Jamie on the other side of the shower stall, leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his chest and a lopsided grin plastered on his face. 

"Jamie! Bloody hell! You shouldn't sneak in like that! Jesus! You nearly gave me a heart attack," she scolded, quickly washing the suds off her body.

Jamie chuckled, as he took a huge towel from the rail. "Ye didn't answer when I called out yer name. So I just waited for ye to finish, hoping to hear yer rendition of one of Paloma Faith's songs before ye notice I'm here."

She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower into the towel Jamie was holding. He wrapped it around her and smiled. 

"Hi!" he whispered.

She tried to step back. "I'll ruin your suit. I'm all wet."

"I dinnae care." He pulled her back into his arms, and she stretched up on her toes to kiss him briefly. 

When she drew away, she stared up at him. "Let me dry my hair first. I shan't be long."

"No' yet." She held her breath as Jamie leaned down and kissed her tenderly.  Oh God, how I've missed him!  His lips were so soft and warm, making all the air rush out of her lungs. He sucked at her bottom lip before pulling back and angling his head to kiss her again. Though his body was tensed and hard, the delicate way he moved his mouth over hers demonstrated leashed restraint like he wanted to savour the moment instead of giving in to the hormones that were raging between them. If his intention was to make her forget what she was about to say or do, he was succeeding immensely.

Gradually his kisses became more intense, and she gave up trying to think and allowed herself to just feel, letting her muscles melt against his body. He cupped her breast, and when she moaned and gripped his shoulders tightly, he grunted in frustration and gently drew away.

Glancing down at her, he tucked his tongue into his cheek and shook his head. "Ye should get dressed before I give ye a reason to go back and shower again." He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "Christ, I've missed ye so much."

Her heart did a pirouette. It was so  bloody  absurd that after the all this time, Jamie could still make the air catch in her chest and her blood rush with force, just by looking at her. "I missed you too," was all she could muster, feeling the heat creep up her face.

He cleared his throat. "I brought some Thai takeaway. You get dressed, and I'll prepare the table."

"Oh! I thought we were going out," she said, unable to hide her disappointment.

He swallowed and nodded, the muscles in his jaw, working overtime as he took her hands. "I'm so sorry, Sassenach. I had a last-minute phone call from this guy who'll be rewiring the sports complex. He's coming all the way from Glasgow, and I need to show him the floor plans and the list of gadgets I need installing. I'm just as disappointed as ye are that we can't go out." He linked his fingers through hers. "The next few weeks are going to be crazy as hell, but I'm doing everything I can to make sure we'll have more time together. That's a promise."

"That's alright," she murmured, trying her best not to act like a child whose lolly had been taken off her. This was the sixth time he'd cancelled their date, and it didn't help that they hadn't been out together for weeks and that she hadn't seen the sports complex yet. Her brain concocted tons of reasons for all the cancellations, and not one of them was good, but she immediately tamped down the thoughts when she saw the worried look on his face. Sighing, she gave him a reassuring smile. "You go ahead a prepare the food. I'll just quickly dry my hair, and I will be out soon."

Before she could turn away, he hauled her back into his arms, and then cupped her face with both hands and kissed her deeply, almost making her believe everything was fine.

"I love you, Sassenach" he said against her lips. "I promise I will have more time for us soon."

He held her for a few more heartbeats, and then with an effort, he pulled away and headed out the door.

When he left, she leaned her forehead against the damp bathroom tiles. "I love you too Jamie. So much it hurts to breathe sometimes," she whispered to the wall. 

..........

Another three weeks went by, and Claire was determined to ignore her growing sense of apprehension about Jamie and her inability to deal with his lack of presence in most of her everyday life. She felt like she had a countdown timer running in the backdrop, and she was just waiting for it to reach zero when it would reveal they were over for good.

She sighed and ferociously tug the weeds out of her garden bed, venting her frustration in her back garden vegetation. Her mood didn't improve when she envisioned herself becoming one of those women who obsessed about their man, fearing they wouldn't be able to cope once the relationship was over.  Shut it, Beauchamp! Stop being pathetic and grow a pair!

Nearby, Geillis was collecting all the weeds she'd pulled out and placing them into containers for compost. She didn't want to heap more of her relationship worries on her friend, thinking she's beginning to sound repetitive and whiny.

Even though Jamie was away a lot, he would drop by a few times, helping her with shopping when she didn't have the time to refill her pantry and repairing things that needed fixing in her wee cottage. She tried not to pressure him about sleepovers since she'd refused a few times to stay at his place. Not that Claire didn't want to be with him, but he was hardly in his apartment, and when he was, he spent his time catching up on sleep or speaking with important people on the phone. Over time she realised, he was workaholic, mostly when it involved something he was passionate and excited about. And it made her wonder if that was the reason he never had any proper relationship during his rugby days.

Jamie had often enough apologised for not always being there for her and asked her to give him more time and trust him, and she was trying her utmost best to do just that, even though patience and trust are two things she was beginning to have a short supply of.

"It's yer day-off. Aren't ye seeing Jamie today?" Geillis asked, getting up on her feet and kicking the dirt off her boots.

"Nope. Apparently, being interviewed by some local radio station and filming for Irn-Bru commercial is more appealing than spending time with his girlfriend." She cringed inwardly the moment her pettiness came out in full force, unable to contain what she truly felt any longer.

"Ach, hen. I ken it's been a difficult time for ye both with yer long hours and his busy schedule. Surely, ye ken he'd rather spend time with ye."

"I know, Geillis. Don't mind me at all. I'm just in one of those moods. Think nothing more of it." She dusted off her hands and got up. "Anyway, I'm trying not to dwell on those things. I have to get ready and meet up with John ...you know John Grey from St Leonards', where I did my temp job?" When Geillis nodded, she continued. "He's got a day-off too, and his boyfriend is on a business trip to France. So we thought, since we're both boyfriendless today, we'd hang out together. You can join us if you wish."

Geillis waved her hand. "I'll pass. I have a gig tomorrow for a group of seven-year-olds. Need to organise their party hats and goodie bags. I'll clean up and go." Then she pulled her in for a hug. "And enjoy yersel' and try not to worry about Jamie. He's probably thinking the same of ye ...ye not having enough time for him with yer long hours at work. Just have a little faith with the man, alright?"

"I will," she smiled, kissing her on the cheek. "In case you finish early with your prep for tomorrow and change your mind about joining us, we'll be in The World's End."

Geillis pulled back and made a face. "I doubt it. It's a bath, chamomile and books for me tonight and then early to bed. Need to save my energy for those bairns tomorrow. Kids nowadays are so hyper and fueled with so much sugar, I can hardly keep up with them. But ye go enjoy yersel', and I'll stop by one of this morning for breakfast." And with that, she spun around and headed towards the house.

As she put away her hand garden tools into a bucket, she took deep calming breaths and made a decision to stop thinking so negatively. It had been ages since she'd been to the pub and maybe a change of atmosphere and a few beers with her friend John would improve her mood. She wished she could talk to Jamie right now, but she knew he was working and was probably in the middle of an interview or shoot. She would just have to wait later to send him a message once she's come back home.

As if thinking of Jamie willed him to call, her phone buzzed in her jeans, and when she looked at the screen, it lit up with his number. A wave of elation rushed through her cancelling all her earlier doubts. "Hey, I was just thinking about you and wondering when it's best to call you up. I wasn't sure if you were in the middle of something."

"I have a few minutes before I go on air." He sounded slightly hoarse if not tired, but still, she could hear a smile on his voice. "How are ye today, Sassenach?"

She reminded herself he was working hard for his sports academy, and she needed to be a more understanding girlfriend. "I'm great," she replied, trying to be more cheerful than she felt. "I'm just cleaning up after a bit of garden work, and then I'll head out for a few drinks."

"With Geillis and Joe?" 

She picked up her bucket of tools and headed towards the shed. "Actually, no. I'm going out with John."

"John? Who's John?"

She thought she heard the clipped tone in his voice but shook her head, thinking she imagined things. "You know John. The head doctor of St Leonards' where I did my temp job. We both have a day-off, so we thought we'd hang out together for a couple of beers. It's been ages since I've been out and I thought it would be a nice change."

"How come Geillis or Joe is not coming with ye? Are they working?"

"Joe is away somewhere ...God knows where. And I've asked Geillis to come, but she has a gig to prepare for tomorrow." She opened the door to her shed and slid in her tools before closing it again and heading back towards the house. "It'll just be a couple of drinks, and then I'll head back home."

There was a long pause in Jamie's end. "Jamie? You still there?"

"Aye, I'm here," he sighed. "The air is getting colder, Sassenach. Make sure ye dressed up warmly when ye go out."

"It is getting a bit nippy," she admitted, looking at her watch. "Listen. Got to run. I'm running a bit late."

There was another silence for a few seconds before he spoke. "Ye ken I love ye, don't ye, Sassenach?" he asked.

She took a deep breath and smiled. "Of course, Jamie. And I love you too. But I really have to go. I'll speak to you soon ...well, as soon as I get back home. I promise." And then she turned off the phone before he could say another word since she was already running late. As she stepped into the house, she felt loads better already than she did earlier after hearing Jamie's voice. In fact, she was beginning to look forward to having a night out with John and having a refreshing pint. Maybe, later, if she's not too tired, she would pay Jamie a visit to his apartment and surprise him. With that in mind and with more lightness in her heart, she showered and got ready for her night out.

[helluva-pilot]

Fluff #22 for Reddie! "If you’re so cold, why didn’t you say something? Come here.”

Letting Myra keep the house was one of the easiest decisions of Eddie's life. The memories in that house were not the ones that he wanted to carry into the next chapter of his life. The art she carefully picked and hung on the walls over the years were practically tombstones now. All he saw were ghosts when he walked the hallways the time that went into the house to pack up the belongings that wanted to keep.

"You brought him here! How could you bring that man into our house, Eddie, after everything he's done!" Myra wailed. Her face was red and bloated from the tears that were streaming down her cheeks.

"After what he's done? That man saved my life."

read on ao3

Those were the last words that Eddie ever spoke to Myra. After that, all their correspondence was done through lawyers. Occasionally, someone would send him a screenshot of a facebook status where she ranted about the famous gay comedian that ruined her life and stole her husband. He always made sure to forward them to Richie, and saved them in a folder. There might be a day when a late-night host needed some excellent material for Richie to react to, and he would gladly hand them over.

As Eddie placed the key on the kitchen counter, he realized that they had never actually had a conversation about where Eddie was going to leave. He just knew where he wasn't going to live.

The door closed, and Eddie turned to Richie. "What part of LA are you in? I have to find a decent hotel that isn't full of bugs and like dead bodies. Do you think that I can find health inspection records online? I'll have to buy wifi on the plane so I can read through all the reviews. Why are you looking at me like that?"

Richie scrunched his face as he rubbed the bridge of his nose with his hand.

"You're staying with me, asshole."

Eddie opened his mouth, but then quickly closed it. The thought of moving in together hadn't even crossed his mind; it seemed so obvious. There was nowhere else he wanted to be anyway.

Richie grabbed Eddie's hand. The motion was small and natural, but he still wasn't used to the feeling and felt as if electricity was coursing through his body. "Why waste your money on a hotel room when you'd be in my bed each night anyway?"

"Beep beep! This isn't the fucking time or place, Rich." Eddie smacked Richie's arm before pointing at the door to remind him that his wife was probably just on the other side of the door listening to them. It wasn't that Richie was wrong, but this conversation could wait until they at least were in the car. Or maybe even until they were in the air.

"Oh, they'll be plenty of fucking times and places."

Eddie rolled his eyes and lightly squeezed Richie's hand. He wanted to be annoyed with Richie, but he couldn't wait to start the next chapter of his life with this idiot.

Richie had attempted to cook for them that first night together. The gesture was sweet, but the meal was inedible. Eddie suspected this might be the outcome, and he had ordered a pizza halfway through the cooking ordeal.

It was a perfect night, Eddie thought as he went to bed with his head against Richie's chest.

Eddie realized that living with Richie was different than it had ever been with Myra. He had just allowed her to make most of the choices about the house because he never actually cared. All of those years, he had been on autopilot just going through the motions without realizing it.

Now, he had opinions about everything and someone that actually cared enough to listen to them.

He hated the rug and made sure that Richie knew it. It was horrified to find out that it had been with him since his days in college. Eddie gagged, thinking of the horrors that it had seen over the years. There wasn't enough cleaner in the world for him to allow his bare feet to touch it.

Within two days of Eddie complaining, Richie surprised him with a visit to the store to pick out a new one.

"You can't just spring this sort of decision on me! I don't even have the measurements of the living room."

"They come in different sizes?"

Eddie groaned. "This is why nothing in your apartment matches."

It took multiple trips to the stores, but Eddie eventually picked out the rug that he thought would look perfect. It was a blue rug that he thought might attempt to make the living room look like an actual adult lived there.

It seemed that anything that Eddie complained about was immediately removed or changed. The ugly poster in the bedroom vanished after he commented that it looked like something a teenager would have above there bed.

"Why don't any of your lids actually fit these pots or pans?" Eddie asked as he attempted to cook dinner one night for the both of them.

Richie shrugged. "I got them all at thrift stores over the years."

"That's disgusting." Eddie picked up his phone to order them dinner instead.

Two days later, a brand new set of pots and pans showed up at the apartment. Eddie appreciated them and started to make them dinners most nights. Richie would attempt to clean the dishes, but most times, Eddie would end up washing them a second time when he wasn't looking.

While re-cleaning a pan that Richie left burnt bits on, Eddie wondered r just how much money his boyfriend had spent on him since moving in. He pushed the thought of his mind as he crawled into bed. It didn't matter as long as he spent the night in Richie's arms.

The next night, Eddie came barreling into the living room, pulling on one of Richie's sweatshirts.

"Why the fuck is it always so cold in here? Do you even know how much you spend on your electric every month? Do you even think about your carbon footprint?"

"If you're so cold, why didn't you say something? Come here, Eds."Richie reached out and pulled Eddie close to him.

"Get - off - me," Eddie said as he attempted to wrestle out of Richie's grasp.

"I'll keep you warm, though, baby," Richie said, tightening his hug. "Or just turn up the AC. You can turn the heat up real high, so we don't need anything clothing."

Richie winked at Eddie before leaning down to kiss him.

"It's not about the cold," Eddie said before Richie's lips could reach his own. He looked down at the ground. "I feel like you're changing your entire life so I can fit in it."

Rich exhaled loudly while he looked at the ceiling. He shook his head lightly before looking back down at Eddie. "I just want you to be happy. Like, I've never really done this before."

Richie motioned at the both of them for emphasis. He stand up might have included references of girlfriends, but he confessed to Eddie that it was all fabrication. There had never been a person that lasted more than a few dates.

"I've never really done this either," Eddie admitted. He could barely qualify his marriage as a relationship. In the past, he thought that it was a relationship, but being with Richie for just the last few months made him realize that it wasn't even close. After years with Myra, he really didn't know anything about her. They didn't listen to each other when they spoke. Now, Richie seemed to hang on every word that he spoke.

The two stood there in silence.

"I don't want to give you a reason to leave, so I might be going a little overboard," Richie said quietly.

"You're fucking stupid if you think I'm going to leave. It's just you don't need to go all sugar daddy."

"But, I would be such a good sugar daddy," Richie whined. He leaned down and lightly kissed Eddie. "So, no more gifts?"

"I never said that. Just maybe less gifts," Eddie laughed.

For the first time in his life, Eddie truly felt at home in Richie's arms. This was the place he had always meant to be, and he was never going to leave.

[gloriousstudentfury-love]

The Death of Mrs. Resnick ✰

y/n’s POV

I sat squished between Alex and his baseball gear, on the way to one of his games. I wasn't my plan to go, but Penelope and Alex didn't really give me much of a choice.

"Mom, I'm gonna miss the first pitch. Go faster!" Alex groaned

"Alex, you know Mrs. Resnick doesn't go faster. Unless we're going downhill, then she might not stop." Penelope sighed, grilling tighter on the steering wheel

"We are so late. Just try." He complained, slouching further down into his seat

She slammed the petal to go faster and the car started rattling. I held on to my seat with slight fear of stopping in the middle of LA traffic.

"Mom, I smell gas." Elena said

"All right." Penelope nodded, whipping out a bottle of air freshener to get rid of the smell

"Wow, That smells nice. What is that?" I asked, slightly sniffing the air

"It's Hawaii." She smiled

"Maybe the car's mad because papi stuck it with a name like Mrs. Resnick." Elena joked

"You know your papi named her after a hot teacher he had a crush on." Penelope informed her kids

"Our math teacher is pretty hot." I said16

Alex flicked me and I flicked him back. We got into a flicking war until he decided to speak up about the car, again.

"Yeah, but by now I bet Mr. Resnick's traded her in for a younger model." Alex said, making me smack off his hat

"That's not funny papito." Penelope snapped

"It's not funny. Society treats middle aged women shamefully. I read a study online-" Elena started, prepared to go on a full on rant

"Okay, who wants to hear some tunes?" Penelope interrupted

We all groaned, as she began to play a sappy live song. Penelope smiled at the song choice and began to sing along. Elena grew annoyed with the obnoxious music and paused it.

"Aw, right before the good part." Penelope complained

"There is no good part." I commented

"That CD has been stuck in this car my whole life." Elena said

"Uh, excuse me? It's a cassingle." Penelope said, offended by Elena's words

All of a sudden the car began to make sounds started slowing down. I looked out the window to notice the other cars attempting to pass the one we were in.

"Why are we slowing down? Who turned on the AC? You know Mrs. Resnick can't handle that!" Penelope freaked

"I'm sorry, but it's 90 degrees and you won't let us roll the windows down." Elena apologized with a small sigh

"Because then they don't go back up. And it's only a crime to leave children in a hot car if it's parked. I looked it up!" Penelope continued to rant

The car stopped and we all sighed as we sat in the middle of the street.

"Great. Okay, guys. You know the drill." Penelope spoke

We all held hands in prayer, while Penelope tried to fix the car the broken down car. She turned the key in the ignition and the engine started. We all cheered in happiness as the car began to more forward again.

"See? Mrs. Resnick's still got it." Penelope said

The engine sputtered one last time before it finally died out, with no chance of starting it up again.

"It's probably 20 minutes until the tow truck gets here. So, what should we do to pass them time?" Penelope asked after she'd called a company and let them know about where we were

She smirked before she started to play her music again. I sighed but ultimately let a smile take over my face when I realized that me and Alex were still holding hands from our prayer.. Maybe I do like my best friend, as much as I'd rather not admit.

____________

Later, we walked into the Alvarez apartment to find Lydia on the couch with a face mask on. I've used plenty of face masks before, so I wasn't to bothered to find the woman's face covered.

"Oh, hello." Lydia greeted

"What are you doing, Mami?" Penelope asked with a small laugh

"This is supposed to make your skin glow. It's called a shit mask." Lydia said

We all laughed at the way she pronounced it, while I took a seat in the arm chair besides the couch.

"Mami, 'sheet'. It's called a sheet mask." Penelope said, putting emphasis on the proper way to pronounce it

"That's what I said, shit." She repeated, finding no difference in the way we pronounced it vs the way she did

"So, would you say you are sheet-faced right now?" Elena joked

"Stop! Or the sheet will hit the fan." Penelope joined in

"You are back so late, I decided to have a little me time." Lydia commented

"Can you feel it working? Hey, guys." Schneider greeted, coming out from the kitchen wearing a similar mask.

His phone alarm went off, making me jump a bit. He took it out of his pocket, and smiled at the older woman on the couch.

"And we are 29 again." Schneider smiled as they took off their masks, "Where you guys been? And why didn't you text me?"

I knew his last question was pointed at me, so I gave him a small smile, "My phone died."

"Mrs. Resnick broke down again and had to be towed to the mechanic." Elena said, referring to the first question he had asked

"Hector's lookin at it now." Penelope said

"Oh, how is Hector? I feel like I haven't seen him in days." Lydia said

"Oh, papito. What happened to your pants?" Elena asked, smirking at the tear in Alex's pants

"I ripped them getting out of the trunk." Alex said, glaring at me as I laughed

"You keep him in the trunk now?" Lydia asked

"No, the doors got stuck again so we all had to climb out through the back." Penelope said

"It's terrible. Now the whole team calls me "Butt-Trunk Boy." Alex groaned

"They could've call you 'junk in the trunk.' It was right there." I added, still laughing at his accident

The cell phone rang and Penelope picked it up, letting us know it was Hector. Not wanting to bother myself with information about the car, I made my to the kitchen to get some food.

When I came back in, Penelope was in the middle of telling the story of her first date with their father.

"He even wrote our initials in a little heart in the bill. I still have it somewhere." She said, making me smile even though I hadn't heard the rest of the story

"Aw, you never take us to Malibu." Alex said

"That's what you got from that story?" I asked, popping some of the grapes I stole into my mouth

"Yeah, but the good news is you're getting a new car." Schneider said

"Oh, sure, I'll just have the butler pick it up." She sarcastically replied

"Oh, butlers work at the estate." Schneider said laughing, "Chauffeurs pick up the car."

"Lupe, if you need money for a car, I am here to help. I will teach dance again! It is a gift that I have withheld from the world far too long." Lydia declared with a large smile

"She taught me how to salsa. She was amazing." Schneider agreed

"I do it for the joy. You owe me $30." Lydia said, pointing at the tall man

"Okay, well, why don't we take public transportation and reduce our carbon footprint? It's the best way to save money, and besides, I don't want you to have to go into my college fund." Elena said

"College fund? You see that dish of change by the door? That's your college fund. Well, not the quarters, cause I need that for laundry." Penelope laughed

"Elena, mi niña, a family needs a car. In Cuba, my best memories are the long rides with my papi in a Chevy the size of this apartment. It was glorious. His beloved daughter on one side and on the other, his beloved bottle of rum." Lydia said

"That sounds dangerous." Alex commented

"No, no, no, no, we didn't have seatbelts back then. We would just roll out quick." Lydia insisted

"Well, I'm going to start taking public transportation, you know, to help atone for the environmental devastation that my ancestors and their gas guzzlers so cruelly left to this earth." Elena said

"Why does everything have to be a crusade that is also annoying?" Lydia asked

"Abuelita is right. We need a car, but we can't afford a car. Unless we get a crazy good deal, which means we're screwed, because... car salesman are scary." Penelope said

"But not to you. You were in the Army!" Alex said

"Yeah, you're always saying you're a badass." Elena agreed

"I am a badass! But I'm also kind of a scaredy cat, you know, because .... I never bought a car before, you know? That salesman is gonna see me coming a mile away. Then he's gonna do that thing where he talks to the guy. And then they're gonna day something about floor mats, and then blah blah blah, I wake up in an ice tub, because someone took my kidneys." Penelope said

I shut my eyes and zoned out the rest of their conversation.

____________

The next day, Schneider, Alex, and I all came back from Alex's baseball game. Again, I was dragged from ballet practice to the game, because Schneider insisted he needed moral support. Not for Alex, but himself.

"Mom, today was the best!" Alex grinned, slamming open the door

"Ooh!" Penelope cheered, noticing all of our happy expressions

"Everyone saw me in Schneider's Range Rover and thought I was a total pimp!" Alex laughed

I rolled my eyes at the boy's excitement. You'd think he'd be happy that they won the game, but he cared more for his bragging rights.

"Don't say pimp or you'll get grounded!" Penelope snapped

"Seriously, Mom. His car is amazing. The seats warm up. You wouldn't think you'd want a warm butt... but you totally do." Alex said

"It's all the best parts of peeing your pants without any wetness." Schneider said

"You should've seen Schneider. The other parents were obsessed." I said, finally joining in on their conversation

"Connie Merkelson told me she's never seen someone slice apples with such grace." Schneider said as me and Alex headed to his room.

______________

Schneider has fallen asleep after we finished watching a bunch of romantic comedies, so I decided to go see my friend. Knowing everyone else was probably asleep, I took Schneider's main key and quietly opened the door

"Alex!!" I whispered knocking on his door

"What?" He asked gently opening it, so I could come in

"Schneider fell asleep and.. I don't think that needs a further explanation." I said, taking a spot on the end of his bed

"That's not as bad as the signs that my Abuelita put around town." He said, shuddering at the memory

"Also, here's your sweatshirt back. I borrowed it that day you spilt food all over me, so here." I said handing him the grey hoodie

"Nah. Keep it. Looks better on you anyway." He smiled going back to the homework that sat on his desk

I blushed lightly at his comment, but brushed it off before composing myself once again

"Did your mom get a new car?" I asked, changing the subject

"Uh huh, it's no Range Rover but it's nice." He smiled

"Mhm." I said, flopping onto his bed, "Wake me up if I fall asleep."

______________

Yeet! Update! Also, what are some other shows you guys would like to see? I need ideas. 

[benjaminjofaiho]

The Captain Next Door Ch.5

Summary: You’re a doctor who also just so happens to be a fan fiction writer. You love lots of fandoms but Captain America is by far your fave, so what happens when you get a new job, move to Brooklyn and realize that the brownstone you bought is right next door to Captain America? Obviously shenanigans ensue.

Warnings: Swearing.

It’s worth noting that I do not care for or abide by the timeline, there are some people mentioned that haven’t technically been brought together yet [ As per Winter Soldier ] but I did it anyway.  P.S. I do not currently have a beta and the ‘f’ and ‘u’ keys on my keyboard are messed up so incase you see repeating letters anywhere they aren’t supposed to be feel free to let me know.

AN: I had so much fun writing this chapter. Please reblog and share. Your feedback is always welcome and I love hearing from y’all.

You looked at his back muscles and not to mention nice ass as he walked up the steps to your house. Yeah. This was definitely going into a fic. The world needs to know about this physique. He turned back to you and asked you if you were ready with that milliwatt smile. You were ready alright. Ready to jump his bones. Just as he was about to turn his keys into his house your phone started to ring. You lifted it to see The Bone Man’s smiling face.

           “Boner, what’s up?”

           “Hey babe, Do you got time for a couple consults?” A couple? Usually it was just the one or two.

           “What do you mean a couple?” You hesitated, putting your finger up to Steve, you were completely taken out of your flirty and laid back mood it was work time. He turned to completely face you and lean on his front door.

           “Yeah I know you’re not working today but there was a freak accident on the highway. I have about 10 patients that need to go into surgery but I need your okay and the on call doctor isn’t answering his phone.”

           “Fucking Daniels. I bet he’s golfing with members of the bboard. I’ll be there, gimme 20.” Ending the call and biting your lip you looked at Steve. You were going to get to go into CAPTAIN AMERICA’S house but Dr. Daniels was in absentia so you were the next call.

           “Listen I’m really sorry but I have to go, there’s emergency at work.” Looking at your watch you absent-mindedly said “I told him 20 but it’ll be more like an hour, I totally forgot it’s rush hour. Alright Captain, duty calls.” Turning and running to go to your brownstone and get your workbag and change your clothes you heard Steve calling out for you.

           “Y/N! Wait!” You turned to see him jogging up to you “Where do you work?”

           “Mount Sainai. Why?”

           “It doesn't have to take that long.”

           Scrunching your face you told him “ I know about the subway,  but I don’t know it that well and I don't want to risk getting lost. Plus I heard the MTA is really unreliable and I don't have time for any delays right now” Spinning back around your continued to your house but you were stopped by an arm around your bicep. It felt as if your body came alive. Usually when you were thinking about work you had a really one track mind. Work was still on your mind while your bicep burned, it just wasn't at the forefront. You looked down and saw a large hand that you would have imagined was very rough but was actually soft and then looked up to Steve’s face. For a moment he was staring down at his hand too. Snapping out of whatever haze he was in he let you go.

           “Sorry.” His hand shot up. “I can get you there in 15.”

           “15 minutes?” You asked, confused. It took 20 minutes to get to work without traffic. How was he going to get you there faster than that? You decided to voice that particular concern.            

           “Just trust me, Go get your stuff and I’ll be waiting for you when you get out.” Knowing you had no time to argue you just turned and ran up the steps into you home. Within ten minutes you were back with your hair up in a bun and jeans with a blouse. All signs of Saturday rest and relaxation were off of you. And there he sat. Atop a fucking motorcycle. You almost tripped over nothing and your eyes were bugging. You were sure of it..

           “Absolutely not.” You began.

           “You’ll be fineeeee” He started to persuade. “ Think of all the people you could save. And potentially loose if you call an Uber. Come on. Get on.” Realizing he was right you were about to get up behind him and then you stopped again.

           “What’s up Doc?” He smiled. Under normal circumstances that would have gotten a light chuckle out of you. But aren’t weekend Y/N. Weekend Y/N had checked out and Work Y/N was here and in complete control despite her faltering 10 minutes ago.

           “I can’t get on that death trap without a helmet” You shrugged pulling out your phone about to open the Uber app.

           “Hey” He said and he was in front of you in an instant. “Of course I would get you a helmet. We have to protect the precious cargo.” Handing you an all-black helmet. How many times would he alone you make you grateful for your melanin that a blush you could feel was creeping up behind. He took your bag from you while letting you put the helmet on.  He sat on the bike and waited for you to get on. This was the closest you’d been to him in your almost 3 months of knowing each other and you weren’t touching him but you might as well have been. You could feel the heat radiating off his back. Flipping the face shield up you asked how you wouldn't fly off. Was there some sort of mini motorcycle seatbelt or something?

           “Yeah of course look at the end of your arms” He laughed. “You can either wrap them around me or hold on to that little railing on either side of the back.” You looked back and indeed there was a little railing, then opting to respect his boundaries; hold on to those. The engine come alive beneath you and you let out a little squeal you hoped he didn't hear.

           “Ready? He shouted.

           “Yeah” You shouted back trying to sound as normal as possible. You were off and zipping through your borough and were on the highway in 4 minutes. Shortly after you pulled up behind a sedan where you stayed for almost a full minute. Traffic was no joke and you started to think maybe it would have been better for you to take the subway. Moving  closer to Steve so he could hear you began to shout over all the engines around you.

           “Traffic is worse than I expected! I think I should have gotten on the subway”. In lieu of responding he just shook his head. You heard him saying something from behind the screen shield of his helmet. After asking what several times, he annoying flipped up his visor and said “I said hold on!” You were the closest you'd ever been in your months of knowing each other.  You were able to see his eyes weren’t all the way blue actually, they had a bit of gold flecks in them. Only being able to manage a strangled ‘okay’ he flipped his visor down.

           Grabbing the handles behind you and clenching your teeth you closed your eyes and prepared for the worst. But you weren’t prepared for what happened. The world started to fly by you and all you could see the back of Steve and the your blurred surrounding. Before you knew it you were screaming and found your arms all the way wrapped around Captain America. Boundaries be damned, this man was trying to kill you. Did you he know you belonged to people? Did he know you were someone’s child? You both made it to the hospital in 9 minutes and you got off the back of his bike with shaking knees.  

           “Steven. It feels like my esophagus dropped through my chest knocking my heart into my stomach causing a ripple effect that made my uterus fly out of my asshole.” Before being able to stop yourself your hands shot up to cover your mouth. “Excuse my language. I appreciate the ride but that was crazy.” Meanwhile Steve was keeled over his handlebars laughing enough for the whole island of Manhattan.

           Between fits of laughter he managed “Y/N, you know to call me Steve come on. And plus it was my pleasure, you've been feeding me well for months so this was honestly the least I could do. By the way what time do you get off work?”

           “Oh Steve, you don’t have to do that-” he cut you off immediately.

           “I’ll  be in the area. I was supposed to come down here during the week but since I’m already here I might as well get stuff done. Plus, I’ve been hearing a lot about global warming, and that its my generations fault and how we can help emissions by doing communal rides and such which, so I’m picking you up because it’s my civil duty, and to collectively lower our…carbon footprint?” you couldn't help but smile. You were had no idea the great Captain America was a rambler.

           “Okay.” And you both looked at each other smiling small and you turned to walk away. Turing back around “Oh! By the way, if you happen to finish your…stuff before I’m done take Sonia’s number. She’ll be able to direct you to my office where you can wait and if you’re hungry she can grab you something to eat as well. There’s a TV in there so you can watch the news or whatever old men do” You ended laughing and his smile got bigger as well. Turning around and walking through the automatic doors of the hospital Work Y/N was back. It was game time.

           After quickly changing into your scrubs and lab coat you paged Boner and were able to find him near intake with a patient.

           “Bone man, talk to me” You began. You heard a patient laugh and question Bone man?

           “Excuse me ma’am, Dr. Y/L/N. knows my name is Dr.Siriboe she just likes to joke.” He leaned in close to her like he was about to reveal a top secret and put his hand up to the side of his mouth. “You know I heard she wanted to be a comedian at first, but she didn’t have the chops so she settled for being a doctor. Not as funny but I guess it keeps the lights on” He ended with a shrug. The patient began to laugh. You knew Boner was funny but he wasn't tears in your eyes funny. This was because he was a handsome surgeon. You were woman enough to admit his good looks. Keeping it as professional as you could with someone you’d known for so long, you got started.

           With a smile still on your voice you asked “So, what do we have here?”

====================Steve’s POV=======================

           He had nothing to do. Absolutely nothing. But when he felt her arms wrap around him like that? He knew he was hooked and was looking for any way to get a fix. So he pulled up to the place he would always go when he needed time to think. The Met.

           The Met served as a sort of mental relief and motivation/inspiration, depending on his head space when he decided to visit. But as of late, he hadn’t needed to visit because. He didn’t know he just felt, satiated. He looked around at various exibits and found himself staring at a portrait of an open field of flowers. Physically he was staring at that painting but in reality he was looking through it, and thinking of you. He spent the next few hours wandering around the Meuseum for hours. Around 6 he decided to head back over to the hospital to see if she was ready to go.

           Upon arrival he texted Sonia and got the instructions to your office. Finally walking in he saw the smile on your assistant’s face welcoming him and asking him if there was anything he needed.

           “I’m fine thank you ma’am, although, would you be able to help me turn the news on in Dr. Y/L/N’s office?”

           “Of course Sir.” she replied. “And please, Sonia is fine.

            After a few minutes of silence with her setting up the TV for him he asked “Please don’t take this the wrong way. But why aren’t you acting more nervous? Not that I want you to or anything…just curious.” Sonia let out a light laugh.

           “To be honest I kind of know of you a bit. I speak with Sam a lot and you’ve come up in conversations plenty of times seeing as how the both of you are in some type of love affair” She began to audibily laugh and then absentmindedly added “Plus I can’t the good Doc to shut up about you, so I sort of feel as if I know you already.” She continued to search for the right channel. Before he could stop himself he found himself asking

           “Really? Y/N talks about me? What does she say?” All he heard was a distracted ‘hmm?’ in way of response.

           “Excuse me, Sonia” He began again. “What does she say about me?”

           “I’m sorry what?” Sonia turns her face in his direction with her eyes still glued on the screen. It was clear she was responsive but not present.

           “Sonia?”

           “Yes! Oh I’m so sorry! I always get confused by this TV.” She said landing on BBC and finally turning to give him her full attention. “What was your question again?”

           “Y/N? What does she say about me?” He’d never thought it would be possible to see the color drain from a person with such a rich complexion but he was witnessing it.

           “I don't think I said that, Captain”

           “Oh yes you did. You said, and I quote ‘To be honest I kind of know of you a bit. I speak with Sam a lot and you’ve come up in conversations plenty of times seeing as how the both of you are in some type of love affair. Plus I can’t the good Doc to shut up about you, so I sort of feel as if I know you already’ Actually. By your words it seems as if she talks about me a lot. So, what does she say?” Sonia started backing out of Y/N’s office.

           “ You know the usual…nothing unscrupulous…You know her, shes a sweetheart. Only good things and you can believe me about that” She answered nervously.

           “Can’t you give me any specifics?” He turned the Captian America charm on 3000. Who was he becoming? Since when did he imagine doing sinful things to beautiful women and it was getting out of his control. Since when did he try to do anything possible to get closer to a woman ? Physically and otherwise? Since when did he draw the same subject over and over for God’s sake? He was a disciplined, responsible, respectable man. Who was Y/N turning him into? Even in the midst of this mental crisis he knew she wouldn't be able to refuse the Charm.

           “ Nothing much. You’re really friendly and helpful, and brave because of your job and all that ya’know? And that you have a nice smile but your eyes. Good lord when she starts on your eyes I know to take a seat because we are gonna be here for a while.” She began to playfully mimick your accent “Oh my God Sonia, I’ve never seen eyes so blue” and then as if noticing she was spilling all the beans her hand shot up over her mouth. “You never heard that! You never even spoke to me! In fact I’m just the pretty lady with the beautiful accent to you!”

           He couldn't help but laugh. And he was happy for it because before her little outburst he was feeling something that he was sure other people would deem as shy? Or was he blushing? He had no idea but he didn’t like the feeling one bit so laughter was a nice change of pace.

           “Hey” He said grinning as he shot his hands up “ No one will ever get a word out of me.”

           “Thank you” she breathed a sigh of relief  “That would have been my ass.” With that she left him in the office. He had a little while to think to himself it didn't last long because he could see the profile of a man talking to Sonia out in the little reception and shortly he turned and walked into her office.

           “Hello Sir, it’s such an honor to meet you. I’m Dr.Siriboe, I work in a different department than Dr. Y/L/N, but when Sonia told me you were here I couldn’t pass up the chance to meet you. Thank you for all your service and sacrifice. My grandfather fought in WW2 so I grew up hearing stories about the front line and I know the tax it takes on a person. Your hard work does not go unnoticed, Captain.” He smiled. Steve smiled back

           “It’s good to meet you, Dr. Siriboe. I’m just a guy that decided to put on a uniform one day but you, decided to put on a white coat and save lives. That is an equally if not more taxing and hororable carrer so the pleasure is mine.” Simling widely Dr.Siriboe gave a small nod in way of accepting the comment and asked the captain to sit down with him.

           “So” He began “You like 2k?”

           “Love it!” Steve replied with a big smile.

           “Wanna play? You know what matter of fact I can’t do that to you. I’m sure whopping your ass would be considered treason or something.”

           “To be commit treason you would have to be in possession of some type of threat.” Looking around the office Steve continued “But I don't see anything threatening in here.”

           “Ohhhh Cap’s got jokes!” Kofi said laughing with Steve. “But its not gonna be so funny when I decimate you in this game. Then Imma be the only one laughing.”

           “Now son, If I go in on you it would be considered heroism in defense of our great nation”           Steve snapped back laughing. “You don’t want these problems.”

           “Son? Sir. Sir. Excuse me, sir. If I were to really get started by the time I was done witcha they’d arrest me on elder abuse and I’m liable to catch a case.”

           Before he knew it they had been playing a game of madden for about 30 mintues and between the little conversation and a whole lot of shit talking he really took a liking to Kofi. He enjoyed his company and he was always looking for new friends that weren’t attached to S.H.E.L.D. in any way possible. He seemed down to earth, and a happy go lucky fellow. Obviously he was smart to be able to become a doctor so he had that going for him as well.

He seemed like the type of guy that would already had been Steve’s friend if they hadn’t just met, he had a friendly personality. Then he wondered why he had never heard of this man before. This is the type of man Y/N should hang around, not that Boner fellow. They seemed as if they would be good friends and he decided then, that he would introduce the two. As if she was a genie and manifested though her doors.

           “Oh! Hey! Steve! You’re here!” She said looking winded.

           “Yeah I am. I’ve been here for a little under an hour just chilling with-” turning behind him to gesture to Kofi “Dr. Siriboe. Dr. Siriboe officially meet Dr. Y/L/N, Dr. Y/L/N, meet Dr, Siriboe, he works in…well actually I didn't even get his department. I’m sorry what department do you work in? You never really mentioned it.”

           “He’s in ortho” She said, cutting him off. Kofi and Y/N stared at each other for bursting out laughing leaving Steve uttlerly confused.

           “Steve, this is the Bone man!” Steve felt something sour in the back of his throat. This? This was dR. bOnEr? THE dr. Boner? That she wouldn't ever leave out of important decisions? The one that helps her when she needs it and doesn't know who to call? This is the guy she was referring to as ‘sort of her work husband and sort of her husband husband?’

           “Oh.” Was all he could manage. He was sure if he could see his own face in that moment it would look something like a 6month old who was constipated. He’d been on the couch fraternizing with the enemy?! Why would he be the enemy? Why would he even think of that? Why had he been internally monologuing this whole day? Again what the hell was she doing to him?

           “Well” He began trying to recover “Are you ready to go home?”

           “Oh! You came to give her a ride? I thought we were gonna split an uber and Rate the Pache as usual and maybe pick up some Thai?”

           “Shut up about Rate the Pache boner! Damnit that's supposed to be between just me and you!” She whisper shouted. He couldn't help himself and asked.

           “What’s rate the pache?” He asked turning to Kofi knowing you wouldn't give him an answer.

           “Well,-” Kofi started

           “Traitor!” She shouted and to be honest it startled Steve a little. He had never seen this playful and mischievous side to her before. He’d seen glimmers of it with Sam but never this full out and raw. He assumed it was because of their old friendship, but that didn't stop the little green monster coming to life within him. Who was he becoming?

Laughing Kofi continued “Rate the Pache is something we started doing back in med school. At the end of the day we get together and rate the patients we worked with on that day. Who would we bone, if there was no repercussions to our careers.” Looking over to you he saw your hands covering your face with what he thought was embarrassment. The practice was a little iffy admittedly, but he couldn't help thinking that she just looked so damn cute acting shy like that.

           “Anyway!!!” She shouted and turned to him. “Steve, I just have to get a couple things done here iff you don't mind waiting like 20 minutes and then we can head home.”

           “Sure, no problem” He said.

           “Well, we can try to finish this game” Kofi said interrupting his train of thought.

           “Ahh I didn't know you were open to public beat downs Kofi, lets do it!” Steve laughed.

           After about 15 minutes of playing, she asked Sonia for a cup of tea and Sonia told her it would be ready in a few, however the next person to open her door was not Sona, but a man instead.    

           “Dr. Daniels” She started, “How nice of you to answer your page” looking at her watch “hmmm… 6 hours too late. People could have died.” The room went silent and everyone turned to look at the late doctor.

           “Dr. Y/L/N, I’m terribly sorry. It started off with me trying to just have a meeting with some of the board members and then they refused to let me leave without playing a round. But I promise the meeting was worth while. I was able to get cardio 3 million dollars for research!”         She let out a squeal.

           “Really?! Damnit Daniels! I was really prepared to rip you a new one but I can’t be mad at this. This money will change so many lives and help preventative care so much. Thank you.” She ended quietly.

           “Of course. Meanwhile I swung by my house and got you something.”

           “Is it what I think it is?”

           “Your blueberry tea leaves as requested. And I threw in some blueberry scones just as you like them. Try one now. I added something new and I want to know if you can taste a difference.”      

           Biting into one she moaned which was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. If he weren’t so busy being something in the neighborhood of jealous he might have actually started to feel aroused. Why the hell was she surrounded by all these…Men? Men who had eyes just like him to see how wonderful she was. Men who had dirtier minds than him imaging all sorts of things.

           “Is this lemon glaze drizzled overtop?” She asked.

           “Good pallete! I call them blueberry lemonade.” He replied.

           “I mean this with all repect daniels, if things don't work out here in the hospital and I fire your ass for something you do to annoy me, you could definitely make it as a baker.”

           That pulled a laugh for a quiet Kofi which made this Dr. Daniels aware of his presence as well as Steve’s as well as if he didn’t notice the both of them before.

           “Kofi, what’s up man? Sorry I missed the pages.” Daniels said nodding to Kofi.

           “Don't worry about it man. You know Y/N zoomed in to save the day as usual.” Turing to face Steve it was then he noticed who he was. Steve could always see the change in people when they recognized him. He noticed the Dr. stood up a little taller, and cleared his throat lightly. Oh, he was a fan.

           “Hello, my name is Dr. Gerald Daniels, It’s a pleasure to meet you Captain America.”

           “Nice to meet you Dr. Daniels, likewise.” Steve said giving a patented smile. “Congrats on your new research money by the way.”

           “Thankyousomuch” Daniels rushed out. Then zipping back to her “Enjoy the tea and deserts. See you Monday. I’ll go round on the patients you had today, so you can get home.” With that he was out of the office and left a bouncing Y/N at her desk happy as could be.

           After she finished her scone, Steve watched her walk out of her office and go talk to Sonia. He watched her throw her head back in laughter and couldn't help but imagine yanking her hair back and burying his face in her neck taking in her sweet smell. He wanted to bury something else in her too but then he heard Kofi aggressively clearing his throat.

           “You like what you see?” He started.

           “Sorry?” Steve decided to play stupid.

           “ I mean any other day, I would let you be distracted and continue to score on you while you look in a completely oppsite direction just as I have in the last 2 mintues already scoring 3 times but...” He paused the game “ That’s Y/N. I’m protective over her.” He said seriously.

           “I really don’t know what you think you-” Steve started but Kofi interrupted him.

           “Listen man, I’m not blind. What are you trying to do with her? You know what? That’s none of my business. Whatever it is, make sure you’re clear about it and don't hurt her. Because at that point you’re gonna have more to worry about than aliens falling out of the sky.” With that he unpaused the game and continued to play as if nothing happened between them. Steve turned back to Y/N and Sonia to see Sonia walking out of the office and Y/N looking out the big window. All of a sudden she turned and looked directly at him and gave him a small smile that felt like an ember lighting a fire.  It was a smile he returned.

           “Alright people.” She started after walking back into her office. “I’m just about ready to go and Sonia’s gone for the day, apparently she has a date to get to.” She said wiggling her eyebrows and laughing. Kofi stood.

           “Okay I just got a page myself, so I have to run.” He stretched his arm out to steve. “Nice to meet you man.” Kofi had that easy go lucky smile but his grip was telling another story. It said if you fuck this up I fuck you up. Steve didn’t know where he stood with Kofi. Thiking of him as boner he didn’t like him at all but getting to know him as Kofi he knew he was someone he could befriend plus him sticking up for Y/N like that really won him points in Steve’s book as much as he hated to admit it. He sorta liked the guy.

           Turning to Y/N kissed her cheek and jogged out the door and she looked after him. What the hell was going on with those two?  He couldn’t place his finger on it. Was she maybe into him? Before he could even think of the situation further. She sat on the couch next to him while putting her feet up on the table and let out a big sigh.

           “So how was your day Steve?”

            “Well” he began mentally scrambling. “ I finished those errands I told you about but I ended up at the Met as I usually do.”

           “Usually? What do you do there usually?”

           “I look through Picassos stuff, they’re permanently on display. Then I go through the current exhibits. I like looking at things from all over the world and from varying time periods. Sort off broadening my artistic palette if you will” He said with an easy smile.

           “I’ve never been to the Met! It’s on my list of to-dos before I officially become a New Yorker.”

           “Then I have to take you down there one of your free days. We can. Make a day of it. Remember, doing my civil duty and all.”

           “Sounds good, I’ll let you know” She said quietly. Off course. She was back to her normal self now, trying to let him down easy. He didn't want to make her any more uncomfortable than she already was and suggested they go home.

           She turned off her light in her office and her stomach let out a noise that demanded for attention and she let out a laugh.

           “I’m a little hungry, can you tell?”

           “Right!” Steve said snapping. “Kofi mentioned something about Pad Thai? I know the best Thai restaurant in all the boroughs.”

           “I have to stop ya there chief. If it’s not New Saigon then you are sorely mistaken. Me and boner have been eating there since I used to visit him here in the city and lived back down south. He’s something of a foodie and I’m inclined to believe him.”

           “Hey! I know something or two about food as well. I promise you you’ll like it.” He stared at her while she stared at him and the both of them had a silent battle of wills.

           “Fine! But if I don't like this place, I get to choose where we eat from now on.” Now on? Does that imply that we’ll be doing this more often? Steve decided not to over think it and just live in the moment. He told her wait at the front of the hospital while he pulled the motorcycle around. He couldn't help but notice a pep in his step and it all began with him thinking of having her arms wrapped around him again. Pulling up to the hospital he saw he nervous face in view and let out a little laugh. She was the cutest. He handed her the helmet.

           “Where are we going anyway?” She said taking the helmet from him.

           “It’s this little hole in the wall called Jai-Yen.

           “Jai-Yen” She repeated quietly. “I’ve never heard of it.”

           “Well you have now.” Steve smiled. “Let’s get going.”

           “Alright, take me on your devil machine” She said putting on the helmet. Steve laughed and shook his head. As soon as she was stable on the back of the bike they were off.

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