#nearly made a harrowing of hell joke about illidan's demon jesus situation but thought it'd be too deep of a cut

[youngster-monster]

i remember i checked like 30 different sources trying to figure out how old illidan was and the eventual conclusion i reached was about the same i was so mad like "FINE okay okay (grabbing my brother, unwilling participant in hyperfixation rant, by the shoulders) i have decided that illidan stormrage is the oldest man in all of warcraft. just now."

it MAY be a bold take but its one i will literally carve into stone slabs if i have to!!!!! i learned more warcraft lore reading your fics than blizzard told me in wow!!!! also when i was watching w3 i was like Huh this is just like my favorite warcraft fanfiction- wait W3 WAS SO FUN TO WATCH i genuinely cannot believe it took me so long to get around to it. kael was so ready to walk thru that portal it took literally like no convincing he thought about the gay vacation he could be going on right now and said Okay Fine

you CANNOT do this to me you cannt tell me there are elves in that game im already going shrimp mode im returning to the sea and im taking my computer with me i gotta get ffxiv i gotta get it FAST

i cant wait for them to release the kael and vashj expansion where they forcibly drag me by the hair into the shadowlands to watch them banter for 8 full hours uninterrupted

a friend of mine once sent me a forum post that lead with "i cant wait for illidan to come down from space hell" and there was more to it than that but the leading line never leaves my brain. he HAS to come down from space hell and then i need him to go to the shadowlands for me to be abnormal about it. if illidan interacted with kael and vashj post legion? well me personally i would explode and die forever,

Illidan Saw The Creation Of The Universe. and then he was a baby. the true illidan age was the friend we made along the way or something

im gonna tell you a secret anon. i have NO idea what is canon and what is pure fabrication at this point. sometimes i open wowpedia and i go 😏 i knew it. sometimes i open wowpedia and then i refuse to perceive what it's telling me. what i'm saying is: please get all your lore information from me specifically i promise you it's accurate. come closer. i am the canon now.

come play ffxiv... it's free for a good bit.... it's fun..... i cannot overstate how many elves there are in there...... there is also one (1) long-haired blond prince who's so so sexy and competent so you can fill your kael'thas' quota as well,

and tbh i'd pay for 8 uninterrupted hours of vashj and kael banter. we need to tank wow's subscribers count again so blizzard has no choice but to break the glass and release illidan from space hell prison again and then send him down to Real Hell.