#nearly every line is different i know this i've heard this song countless times before

[dormiloncito]

at the dentist's office and they're playing a... "clean" version of all about that bass and i feel like i'm going insane

[bakubabes-tatakae]

A/N: I hope you all enjoy part 1/4 of my pieces for day four of the anniversary collab for the @konoblog-simps​. You can find all the lovely pieces for the day here! Today’s theme was song pieces, and its full of angst. My heart broke after this piece. 😩 Izaya just deserves love. I’ll be spanning my four pieces throughout the next couple of hours so stay turned. You can find all the days of the collab here!

For the best experience listen to the song while reading the piece. The song title and artist have the link for he music video. 😊

Pairing: Izaya x fem!Reader

Song Choice: Without Me by Chvse

Warnings: alcohol consumption, angst, violence

Word Count: 1.7k

Izaya had never felt this kind of pain before. This man had been beaten senseless, stabbed, and everything in between, but nothing had ever really hurt him as much as heartbreak did. He had been the one to end things, but that was only because he didn’t want to put you in danger anymore. He didn’t want to be the thing that ended your life. But that didn’t stop the thoughts from roaming his head.

“And I don't want nobody else but you

You the girl in my dreams every night

You the reason that I let the sun come through”

You had been the best thing in his life, but he had let his life come in between that. He hadn’t wanted harm to come to you. But just that had happened. All this dealing with the Yakuza had made them take you hostage. They wanted to make him hurt.

So when he had finally gotten you back from them. When he had finally gotten you settled at home he had left, running away with nothing but a note on your nightstand. He couldnt’ bear to tell you to your face that you were better off without him.

You were in his dreams every night since then. Your face haunted every single thought that he had. He told himself day after day that he had to move on, but he couldn’t do that. He wanted you, nobody else.

His thoughts always went back to the countless mornings that you would wake up and roll over to tell him the same thing every time. “You’re the reason that I open those blinds every morning, Izaya.” You’d smile and climb over him, straddling his lap and pressing soft kisses to his cheek. “You’re the reason that I let the sun come through. You’re my light.”

Those words were on repeat in his head. He reached for the beer bottle on his coffee table and took a sip, tightening his grip around the bottle as he fought back the urge to let a tear loose.

“Girl, I'm sorry for the things that I've done

Always starting shit and put you in a dumb mood

Always pushing you away, but I pushed too hard

Now you're gone, what a dumb move

'Cause you're the person I'mma run to”

Izaya’s work had always gotten in the way of your relationship, but you had tried hard not to let that bother you. He knew how hard you tried to ignore it. That didn’t stop him from feeling horrible about it. He had tried to push you away some, despite how much he always regretted himself for it after. He wanted you to make the decision on your own.

He would get angry when you questioned him about when he was going to spend some time with you. He tried to understand where you came from, but his work was his life and he wanted nothing more than to succeed. He wanted to make a better life for not only himself but for you as well. He had gone about that wrong.

His anger would always put you in horrible moods. And when you had left him the first time he should have left you alone.

When you had finally decided that enough was enough he should have left it at that. But something inside him said that he had to have you back. He just couldn’t let you get away. He loved you too much.

You were always the person that he ran to when he needed help. You were the person that he always leaned on. And now you were gone.

“Look, I understand why you had to leave

'Cause I was treating you so bad, that your family

Could see through the fake smile that you had with me

I wish you didn't go, but also know you had to leave”

Izaya had heard the words that your family always spoke. He heard the conversations on the other line. You had been sure that the phone speaker wasn’t loud enough, but he heard them say that you needed to move on.

You would object to their statements. You always did, but he knew that deep down you would think for a long time about them.

They would say that you always seemed like the feelings you had weren’t real. They called your smiles fake and said that you only did them to fool the family. You only wanted them to think that you were truly happy.

Izaya wished that he hadn’t pushed you away that first time, but he knew that it needed to be done. He understood why you had left, but his heart wanted you to be with him.

“'Cause I was toxic, found a way to talk shit

Accusing you of things you didn't do, I know I'm not shit

So leaving me to better you, is better than the option

To stick around with me, I just hate that I caused it

I hate that I caused it”

Izaya had done nearly everything to push you away the first time. He was toxic. He was rude. He played every game he could think of. Izaya even went as far as accusing you of being unfaithful.

He claimed that you had found yourself in the arms of one of his enemies.

So you chose to leave. You told Izaya that you needed to better yourself. You needed to get away. You weren’t going anywhere or doing anything with your life being with him.

You were beginning to see that sticking around with him was the worst option.

He hated that he made you feel that way, but he couldn’t do anything about how he felt about himself. He hated that he had wanted to put you in that position. But you would have been better off without him.

“'Cause I don't wanna hurt you

But I know I will

And I'm looking for the reason

For the way I feel

I didn't wanna lose you

But if I'm being real

Then you're better off without me”

He could feel himself slipping away from you and that’s when he knew that he needed to do what he did. He knew that eventually he would hurt you worse than he had ever wanted too. Worse than just heartbreak.

But Izaya never truly understood why he felt that way. He didn’t know why he knew that he would hurt you. He just knew.

So in the note that he left you on your nightstand he said “You’re better off without me.”

And it was the worst thing he had ever written in his life. The worst thing he had ever said to someone. And he truly meant it. No one could change his mind. Your life meant more to him than his own.

“I never really fell in love until I met you

'Cause that day out at the cabin, I felt something special

3 a.m, vibing, drinking beer on the couch

Remember? I was scared to even cuddle with you”

Flashbacks of how you met filled his head, another swig from the beer bottle filled his throat. The small feeling of forgetting starting to take over. That’s all he wanted to do. These memories were too painful.

When you had come to the cabin with a couple of friends of his and they had introduced you, he hadn't expected to be obsessed. But he was.

Everyone had gone to sleep, the two of you had been the only ones left in the living room, and he had never been more nervous in his life.

You hadn’t hidden your attraction to him. You made it very obvious in the hours after you had met.

You had looked at the clock as you both drank the last of the beers that were sitting on the small coffee table. Three in the morning. The fire burned in the fireplace and your laughs filled the room.

Izaya couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this way. The last time he had truly felt love.

Izaya had never been as nervous as he was right now. He was normally the tough guy. He had never had a problem showing affection for a woman he liked. But you were different.

You noticed his hesitation and went in yourself. Before you could even stop yourself, your body moved. You straddled his hips and pushed him back into the couch. Your lips pressing together as Izaya placed his hands on your hips. His fear almost instantly watching away.

“My heart's breaking 'cause I love you and I miss you

I'm thinking about the times where I'd cuddle and I'd kiss you

But I understand that I got a lot of issues

I just hope you know that it ain't easy to forget you”

Izaya shook his head, trying to get the memory to leave him. “Fuck.” He grasped the bottle tighter in his hand and down the last swig. “I miss her.”

Before he even realized what was happening the bottle soared from his hand, a scream leaving him at the same time.

A light switched on in the hallway and a figure appeared in the doorway of the living room. Namie had a sleepy, puzzled look on her face as she checked on her boss. “Izaya?”

Izaya rubbed his eyes and gave her a weak smile. “Everything’s fine Namie. Go back to bed.”

She gave him a worried look before turning back to head to her room. She knew better than to push Izaya when he was like this.

“I just-“ His voice was a whisper as he picked up his phone. He didn’t want to say anything else and have Namie come back out.

Izaya opened his messages, his finger instinctively finding your name and typed out a message he had never meant to send. Alcohol made him hit that button and made him throw his phone across the room after.

So when your phone lit up and you opened the message, your heart broke for him.

Izaya 💞 2:36am

I miss you so fucking much.

Taglist: @monic00l​ @strangeinternetwasteland​ @rowley-with-ackerman​ @kyu-pine​ @ellechanwrites​ @bonnisimpparker​ @impinthecloset​ @nikiniki743​

©bakubabes-hatake’s original content, please do not repost/modify without my permission

[nottooldforthisship]

Hi! Can I ask what are your top fics of 2017 so far? The fics I've been reading for the past week(s) were all from 2015/16.. So I've been wanting to catch up with the new ones. :) Thanks looove

Oh shit, that’s a hard question ^^

(I’ll update this until the end of the year)(last update on Dec.14th 2014)

(also this is mostly in chronological order of my reading) (and fair warning, I haven’t read a Larry fic since Nov.17th)

- Fall At My Door , by @fullonlarrie : A-list actor Harry Styles and award-winning musician Louis Tomlinson have an acquaintances-with-benefits relationship, so whenever their busy professional lives happen to land them in the same city, they meet up. It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement.And that’s all it is. Until it isn’t. (30k, E)

- Feels Like Coming Home, by @phd-mama​ : The last thing Harry Styles expects when he’s hanging out at the Someday Cafe in Somerville one rainy October day is for his ex, Louis Tomlinson to walk through the door, but that’s exactly what happens. After a spectacularly ugly break-up three years prior, Harry hasn’t heard one word from Louis, and he’s moved on. Gotten over him. But having Louis back in his life, not to mention working at the restaurant where he’s a chef, isn’t easy, and the feelings that Harry thought he’d left turn out to be not so easily forgotten. This is a story about love and the power of forgiveness, and how the hard choices we make define us, and change our lives.(60k, E)

- Saved Tonight, by objectlesson : Harry is the world’s most persistent seduction-baker, a questionable dog-sitter, and Louis’s biggest fan. Louis hasn’t written in years, is trying to pass loneliness off as cynicism, and absolutely hates his fans. It’s probably destiny. (30k, E)

- Just Breathe, by @a-writerwrites and @dimpled-halo: Louis pops his head into the kitchen, “You alright?”Harry smiles shaking his head, “Just my clumsy arse at it again,” he says laughing.“I oughta put you over my knee and give you a good spanking,” Louis mutters, chuckling.Harry freezes.  His pulse races so hard he can feel the blood rushing fast and hot throughout his body, like a livewire, zinging through him in a delirious rush.  His mouth goes dry, and his eyes are wide.  And when Louis turns around to look at him after being silent for so long, it’s like Louis just knows.  He understands.  Harry loves him so fucking much.  **** OR the one where Harry and Louis are on a journey through life together — one that includes discovering dark, hidden parts of themselves that only the other can find. (50k, E)

- Then We Talk Slow , by @letsjustsee : (…) A famous/non-famous AU in which Louis banters back and forth with his new record company on Twitter, only to find out that Harry is the man behind the tweets. (20k, E)

- Riptide , by FlyingAlwaysInColor : AU in which Louis loses his amazing mum, and is sent on a forced holiday to a luxury spa resort where he meets a green-eyed butterfly-angel and an adventurous Irishman who help him start to heal by administering equal doses of love and laughter. (91k, E)

- Reduce Me To A Pleading Cry (Break The Skin and Tantalize), by @taggiecb : As the CEO of Styles & Styles, Harry Styles cuts a brooding and handsome figure at the helm of a very successful business. His reputation for intensity is well known, but you would be intense, too, if you had to work numbers all day, give countless orders, and conduct endless meetings. When all you really want to do at night–ache to do–is give away the reins, let someone else make the decisions, be ordered around for once, just–let go. Harry has reached his breaking point when one touch from a man whose very stance commands attention leads him back to a place he thought he’d never return. Or Harry is a broody submissive boss, Louis is a natural dom who works in the mail room at Styles & Styles, Niall is a matchmaking oracle, and a slender, dark haired man stands mute at the coffee stand encouraging others to spill their secrets. (33k, E)

- Resist Everything Except Temptation, by @domestic-harry :   (…) The one where Louis is the commodore’s son who is forced to become a part of Harry’s crew when he is captured. (100k, E)

(more under the cut, this list is gonna be so long …)

- Them Butterflies , by @gaycousinlarry  : To sum it all up - Louis is beautiful. Breathtakingly so. And Harry can’t find it in himself to even question the fact that he thinks so. Louis is mesmerising, nearly magnetic with all the energy bouncing off of him. Harry doesn’t know what to make of it, but he knows he doesn’t want this night to end.  This is the extraordinarily ordinary AU where Harry falls in love for the first time and Louis learns how to fall in love all over again. (68k, E)

- When We Were Younger, by @dinosaursmate: About a week after Harry started visiting this particular chat room, he was watching some kid argue with the whole room about football, personally disinterested as he tipped a bag of crisps into his mouth. He happily chomped on the crumbs, taking a swig from a glass of Ribena to wash them down, glancing at the screen and very nearly spat the squash back out again. His heart was pounding wildly. The display icon of the argumentative newcomer had caught his eye, and not in a good way. He gulped as he clicked the picture, and when it popped up in full resolution, his heart nearly fell right out of his arse. - Sixteen year old Harry Styles’ world turns upside down when he logs on to gay teen chat to discover somebody has stolen his photos and used them as their own.  (76k, E)

- Fool’s Gold , by @freetheankles : Or the Arnacoeur AU in which Harry is scheduled to be married to Liam in 10 days and Harry’s mother hires Louis and his team to break them up.  (55h, E)

- Dance Me (to the End of Love), by @phd-mama​​ : You would think that it’s a simple process - you meet, you fall in love, you get married. But when you add one lawyer and one overly-competitive high school teacher to that equation, it’s no longer a straight line from beginning to end. Or the story of how a simple proposal becomes a competition where no one loses in the end. (19k, E)

- Life Was a Song, You Came Along, by @rainbowninja​ : It’s embarrassing how long it takes Louis to recognize his own song. Niall had sung it as a bright, hopeful love song, and that’s honestly how Louis had always assumed it should sound. But this new voice, slow and rough, stripped of any backing instrument, has infused the lyrics with just the tumultuous mix of fear and defiance that Louis can remember so clearly from the night he wrote them. It’s not a comfortable thing, to feel like someone is singing all your secrets back to you.  Louis is a songwriter trapped in a lie that could ruin his best friend’s career. Harry owns a record store, distrusts everyone in the music industry on principle, but loves Niall Horan’s newest album. A modern retelling of Singin’ in the Rain.(37k, E)

-  Wholehearted, by TheMagicWord : AU. When superstar singer and winner of The Voice Louis Tomlinson tweets “Nothing worse than waking up with no milk for a cuppa !! Gutted” he doesn’t expect someone to bring him some. And he really doesn’t expect that someone to have bright green eyes, long curly hair, and (fucking) dimples. (77k, E)

- Looking Through You, by @allwaswell16 : Just as Louis and Liam were starting out in the music industry, writing and producing for up and coming artists, a fateful meeting with new pop singer Harry Styles changes everything. Four years later, just as Harry is set to embark on his next world tour, a drunken confession causes a rift between once inseparable friends. As Harry tries to make sense of his feelings for Louis, he begins writing his next album to express them as it may be the only way to break through the walls that Louis has built between them. (41k, E)

- Love’s Truest Language , by @smrwine :  The first part was meant as a joke. He didn’t really expect Harry to buy anything. It was just Louis’ way of softening the ‘get the fuck out’ blow.  “Where’s your order forms, then?”  “I don’t want your flowers.” Louis chided before directing all of his attention to the arrangement in front of him.  Harry laughed under his breath as he stood to his full height, “Who said anything about them being for you, love?” (48k, E)

- got the sunshine on my shoulders , by @hattalove : five years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist. he didn’t have much regard for what he left behind - a life, a family, and a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone.now, harry has everything he could possibly want: he’s rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he’s forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past - and louis, who’s spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him.(or, an au based on the movie sweet home alabama.)(124k, E)

- Never Let Me Go, by @loveisalaserquest17​ : Harry and Louis have been friends forever, but they couldn’t be more different. One night, with a little too much alcohol, they make a pact to marry in ten years if they’re both still single.Now, one month before the deadline, Louis is willing to do whatever it takes to avoid ending up with his best friend. But is he, really? | Loosely inspired by The 10 Year Plan  (55k, E)

- Don’t Want Shelter , by @fullonlarrie : Louis and Harry have known each other all their lives. Friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. Except for that one time ten years ago…When Hurricane Nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families’ old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own.During the storm, and in the months after, they’re both forced to reevaluate their history and what they mean to each other. (76k, E)

- Turning Page, by @daisyharry : AU: Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been.  Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other. (67k, M)

- No One Like You   , by @myownsparknow : Where Liam and Niall are art historians discovering the truth about two nineteenth century painters on opposite sides of an artistic divide. (20k, M)

- Paint Me In A Million Dreams  , by @greenfeelings : Harry’s one of Hollywood’s biggest actors, has made a name for himself in prestigious films and lives the life of a superstar. There’s just one thing missing to make it picture-perfect, but the one Harry’s in love with is completely out of reach for him. Enter Louis, one of Hollywood’s biggest actors himself, who just came out of the closet and taps new genres in the industry. When Louis sacks the role Harry auditioned for in Scorsese’s next big film, their irrational feud starts. Who could have guessed it would get even worse when for promo season, their teams decide to present them as a couple for publicity?  (110k, M)

-(Take Me Home) Country Roads, by @a-writerwrites : OR a Northern Exposure AU featuring Louis as the big city doctor, Harry as a natural healer, Niall as a secretive barkeep, Liam and Zayn head over heels for each other but they don’t know it and a lot of hurt, comfort and moonshine in between. (86k, E)