#n i my brain just won't connect em as the same person so when i miss him i can't remember what he's really like | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kindacreepy-kindaugly · 8 months

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this brain really is just nonstop goin between the way he'd kiss me, cradling my face in his hands n it's sloppy n messy cause that's how he likes things but it's so damn easy to just forget it doesn't mean a fucking thing

& addict trash like you never changes, I'll see you soon baby

#constant emotional fucking whiplash #i don't. i don't understand. i can't wrap my head around the way i'm supposed to feel about him even though i know which parts are fake #but i don't understand how he can fake it so well #how can he be so sweet n gentle sometimes just to.....get under my skin so he can hurt me even worse #n i my brain just won't connect em as the same person so when i miss him i can't remember what he's really like #i just. i just want him to hold me. to tell me everythin's gonna be ok n he's gonna take care of me now.#i just wanna go home.#every goddamn cell in my body is screaming to go back where i'm supposed to be where i belong #even when i know the price would be. too damn high.#i feel like emotionally i'm already sittin behind his door clawing to be let back in sobbing n apologizing #i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry #i'm sorry i left i'm sorry i thought i didn't need you anymore #it's not worth it it's never worth it but. it's so fucking hard to resist #i'm so scared he's gonna contact me cause if he tells me to come back i. i won't be able to resist.#i won't even have the time to think of disobeying before i'm already there sat at his feet like a well trained puppy #i really really don't know if i can do this #spdrvent

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