#my younger self would have thought this was nuts but then i realized i'd actually been totally oblivious to most actual crushes i'd had
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tbh every time a feelings meme goes around i'm like, okay but honestly who really knows how they feel abt anybody until you actually touch faces and realize 'oh i like/don't like this actually'
#my younger self would have thought this was nuts but then i realized i'd actually been totally oblivious to most actual crushes i'd had#unless they fell into like. a conventionally recognizable category#now i just drift around in a vast vague cloud of faintly mauve-colored emotional ambiguities
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not really sp related but what got you into crocheting? is there any other types of crafts that you do or would like to do? :3
ive always been interested in it, esp amigurumi in particular, but i had a very hard time self-teaching. i had also at some point when i was younger tried to teach myself to knit and i could NOT figure it out, so for years i just assumed yarn crafts and i were not meant to be. i could figure out how to chain but i really couldn't get any further than that.
but in late 2019, i started having dinner with my grandma once a week, and to give us something to do after i cooked for us, i asked if she'd teach me to crochet. she's taught other family members and friends, and i thought maybe i'd learn better with a live demo and someone to tell me what i was doing wrong. she taught me the basics, i got really into making simple blankets when the pandemmy hit in 2020, and then i fell out of it pretty quick.
then earlier this year, i decided to get back into it on kind of a whim. i had a lot more free time and i bought a kit for making a crocheted flamingo, figuring it could help me learn now that i knew the basics. it did NOT! it was more confusing that guides i had seen online.
but i realized i had never bothered trying to watch a youtube tutorial for it, which is like, almost embarrassing, because i am learning shit from youtube all the time. i watched and crocheted along with this video
youtube
and was able to make a successful ball and from there i just went nuts. i was able to finish the flamingo (a gift for my mom, flamingos are her ~mom animal~) and found the aradiyatoys south park patterns and decided to give them a go as something to keep me busy while mal was at work when i was visiting them. i'd kind of like to redo them now that i'm better at crochet, but the last thing mal needs is duplicates of stuff ive already made orz
as for other crafts i do, i was doing figure painting on 3d printed guys for a while, as well as bedazzling them (where my icon comes from, actually), but i haven't touched that in a while. i also have a button press ive been getting a lot of use out of lately and i like to make keychains with shrink plastic (be kind, my art is 4 years old here). for a short while i was doing shaker keychains with resin as well. i also took a studio art class where i learned how to make paper, do embossing/debossing and how to carve plaster. i would LOVE to do another plaster carving but i don't have the materials at home.
i do this thing where i fall in love with a craft, get deeply obsessed with it for a few weeks, then see a youtube tutorial for something else and move on to a new craft. the fact that ive stuck with crochet this long, is a bit of a surprise to me, but im just very deeply in love with it right now and i think its here to stay for a while.
im also adept at sewing plushes! and i'd like to get back to that, i haven't sewn anything in a long time (i dont even have any examples of my plush work to show, it's been that long 😭) but first i need to reorganize my work space so i have room to lay out fabrics and cut them. i have a couple projects i'd really like to sew, but i need to figure out the pattern for them first.
im also upping the level of detail i can get on my crochet dolls, by incorporating needle felting! my friend sent me this video and while i'm not felting over entire dolls like this, it's been a godsend for adding small details. i'm working on a commission with tiger striping right now and needle felting has completely changed how i decided to approach that project and it looks much better for it.
i've always deeply respected crafting, and i LOVE to see people doing fandom related crafts. like don't get me wrong, i also deeply respect illustrators and authors, but there's something really uniquely special to me about seeing someone channel their love of a piece of media into crafts that are written off as like 'granny activities'.
for crafts i'd like to learn, i am so so so into the idea of customizing dolls. it's basically an amalgamation of a lot of crafts and skills i've already done, and at the end of it i'd have a dolly of my special little guys (i am constantly rotating the idea of making a doll of my next gen oc CC. shes so special to me). i did 3d print a doll and string it. i got as far as making & inserting the eyes and making a wig cap, but i never finished the wig because i lost my straightener so i can't make wefts for it.
as of right now, i'm really only focused on crochet though! it's my income at the moment, so i can't afford (literally haha) to get distracted from it
a huge thank you and a lot of love to anyone who actually sat there and read thru this whole thing lmao. i love crafting so so so much and i am always willing to talk about it with anyone who will listen. esp other crafters! please show me your crafts, show me your wips, tell me about your processes, i cannot emphasize how much i love hearing about it all.
#ty for this ask#i amso passionate about crafting you really enabled me here anon#kzask#kzpost#crafts
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The guy who is considered to be like a perfect angel by everyone we know actually has this weird thing where he's just repulsed by people in bad emotional situations. Like he'll go and build schools in Thailand and work with disadvantaged children, but after a while you notice that he's easily annoyed by people with any kind of mental problem. I had to witness this personally because when I was younger and didn't know any better, I was often in some psychodrama with someone inappropriate who was treating me really badly, and my so-called friend, who everyone thought was a saint, would just directly make me feel really stupid and like I was inconveniencing everyone by having a hard time and not being smarter or having better self-esteem or whatever. It was never like, "Hey, I feel like X is making you really unhappy, you don't deserve it and I hate seeing you like this," or anything of that nature, at best it was like "Well if you want to wallow in pain and let people humiliate you, I guess that's your choice, but don't bother me about it." And it fucking worked--I mean it did NOT help me get out of my bad situations AT ALL, but it did convince me that I was a worse person for even having a bad situation to begin with. I figured I was just really beneath my venerated friend and I should be ashamed of myself for wasting his time, which I was. But anyway the thing I started to notice about him over the years was, he very often had a problem with someone who was totally taking advantage of him and dominating his life and putting him at some kind of risk; he'd tell me all about it in extreme detail, and being the person I was, I'd offer all kinds of support and help and make various suggestions for how he could extricate himself from the circumstances so he wouldn't have to put up with them anymore. And then I'd *always* see that he stuck with the problematic person through thick and thin; I started to realize that he didn't really want the problem to end, he just needed to vent about it periodically so he could continue having his problem with renewed vigor. Like more than a decade later I still see him on social media promoting people he told me really awful things about as indispensable geniuses who do nothing but inspire and spread joy. And what I've learned from this is something I that I guess is pretty obvious, but sometimes you just have to see an example of it in the wild: That the people who most irritate you often reflect your own worst qualities. I think my friend saw me doing the same shit he always did, bending over and willingly taking it from some obnoxious sadist, and it just pissed him off to no end. It was easier to be mad at me for reminding him of his problem than it was to just admit he had the same problem. Now when I find myself getting really angry and disgusted with someone, I make a point of asking myself if whatever they're doing that I hate is something I also do, and maybe I should worry more about that than I do about the other person's behavior. I think this is a basically good impulse that can save you from wasting a lot of time and energy if you do it right. Just don't start doing it all the time with every single tic and quirk that you have, though; it can drive you nuts!
#the other point of the story is watch out for people who everyone considers morally pure#they might just be getting away with a lot of shit because they have such good PR!
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Thanks for the tag, @unsealingkale !
1. what does your name mean / mean to you?
Oh wow! I learned something new about my name. It is a Hindi boy name meaning, Center. I'm used to reading it meaning things like knowledge, wise, understanding, and water baby. This is very interesting!
I used to hate my first name years ago, but honestly I really used to hate myself for many reasons for many years. I now love my first name as much as I love my middle name. My last name is pretty cool. I used to want to change it to my biological last name, but now it ties me to both my grandma (She got remarried when my dad and his brother were in their teen years. The man she remarried, she had 3 of my uncles with, 2 are still alive.) and my dad so I'm going to keep it for a little while longer. My dad has another brother who I keep in contact with with my biological last name. They found each other through Facebook years and years ago.
2. breakfast, lunch or dinner?
Breakfast because breakfast is the bomb! That is my favorite kind of food, day or night. I do eat lunch and dinner too, but breakfast food will always have my heart.
3. what are you proud of?
I am proud of how far I actually have come in my life. There were times where I literally wanted to just let things be even when it was bad for me to do so, but I still eventually found the courage to leave when I knew that in my heart of hearts that I needed to for the good of my overall well being. I have had to do that a good bit of times in my life and despite how some of it hurt me really bad to do so emotionally and sometimes mentally even, I knew that I just had to do it because if I would have stayed in some if not most of those situations, I wouldn't be where I am now.
I don't have the best job in the world right now and things have been really hard especially with this crazy ass situation going on, but I am so much happier in so many ways than I was 3 years ago and years before that even. I have grown a lot in many ways. I have the Army to thank for that at least partly. That place pushed me to my limits in so many ways that I had no choice, but to see that I really, really needed to change in some ways if I was ever going to get anywhere in life in the Civilian world. It was what I like to call a necessary hell.
4. your go to song on a bad day?
Not sure if this counts, but when I get scared or anxious about something, I listen to "Lullaby" by Shawn Mullins. It feels like he is singing it to me in a way. It sounds crazy I know, but I have loved this song for many years and overtime it just became a really good comforting song for me.
5. have / want tattoos
I don't have tattoos and I don't think I will ever get a tattoo. I don't like needles. I'm not as bad as my mom with them, but I still don't like the way they feel and I wouldn't know what to get anyway.
6. what are you looking forward to post ‘rona?
To go to places without having to wear a mask like the movies and the mall for instance. They drive me nuts! I wear them for work and when I go into stores. At home, I stay mask free because no one has the 'rona in the house because we all wear masks when we go out some where like work places and the like.
7. fave place you’ve travelled to / where you would like to travel to?
Lost Maples Natural State Area in Texas, hands down! It is a gorgeous place with mountains with hiking trails and beautiful unbelievably crystal clear water.
North Carolina. I need to pay respects to my grandma and if it is allowed I am thinking about spreading my dad's ashes on her grave as well. I was in the Army when she died. I was offered to go back home because of it, but I knew my grandma would have wanted me to keep going and so I did.
8. name a personal object in your room that you love
My grandma's and Daddi-o's memorial service discs even though the Bitch Cunt of the Century a.k.a. Former stepmom was in charge of the pictures on my Daddii-o's discs. You can tell because she is in most of the pics. *Sighs* Lord, I wish I would have had enough balls to tell that 'thing' to fuck all the way off! *Sighs* Hindsight is 2020 and unfortunately, all that shit went down in 2017.
This Bitch Cunt of the Century actually had the absolute gall just like she does every year to wish me a happy birthday. I of course ignored it like I do every year. In other words, Go fuck yourself & leave me alone!!! I want to forget that you ever, ever existed, please & thank you. By the way, that statement was towards my former stepmom who is I am pretty certain as a curtain has a spot in Hell waiting for her and not at any of you. I just wanted to make sure that that was clear as crystal.
9. what’s your niche interest?
Hmm... I have a good bit of them to be honest. I will just name my main fandoms at the moment. Rhink, Supernatural, and Harry Potter especially when it comes to shipping. LOL!
10. ideal date with yourself?
Hmm... An ideal date with myself, eh? This is going to sound so weird or maybe not, but either a trip to a bookstore or a thrift and or antique store. I love to check out those kinds of places.
11. share a pic from your camera roll that brings you joy
This cute little thing is Lulu off of Kittisaurus. He is my favorite cat on that YouTube channel.
12. Is there anything you would say to your younger self?
Yes there is. Things will get better than what they are now. You just have to be patient and strong. One day your life won't be completely the same. It will be better. We ourselves will be better so keep your head up kid and don't give up on the fact that one day your life will change and that you will change for the better and that you will be truly happy. Eventually, wonderful things will come your way, but you first have to go through some trials & tribulations that will make you want to just give up, roll over and cry and allow life & people to screw you over. Don't let them! You are stronger and brighter in spirit than you will ever realize. Keep striving to have a better & happier life because you are worth it. You have always been worth it and I love you. One day you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say that to yourself like I am telling you right now.
After that I would embrace my younger self while she cried. That is probably what more than likely would happen if I met up with my younger self somehow.
13. do you bop to music on (I corrected this. It originally said in.) your own? do you sing?
Yep especially while driving in my car to and from work and at work too.
Oh Hell Yeah! I sing way more than I used to especially not just by myself behind closed doors. I don't sing out loud at work though because people could be sleeping and also I'm still a wee bit hesitant to sing in front of people like face to face depending upon where I am at, who I am with, and such. I'm working on it, but I do show my talent to people a lot more than what I used to.
Now that I work at the school district this has changed quite a bit. LOL! 😆 I more than likely especially this summer thus far have given unintentional concerts to some people possibly.
14. is there a type of animal you associate with home? does your house get animal visitors?
Hmm... I was around cats a lot more than dogs throughout most of my lifetime especially my childhood and teenage years.
If we're being sappy though I'd say cats and dogs now. My boyfriend's brother and sister-in-law have a cat that I love a lot. He is what I like to call a sweet asshole. LOL! He can be nice and or loving, but not towards most people. He is kind of like my boyfriend in that way. They're both assholes to people who actually deserve it, but if you're a good and respectable person they'll show you the same kind of decency.
My mom has two German Shepherds that are my fuzz sisters. I love them way more than I thought I would ever love dogs. I was just a cat person for a really, really long time, but now I actually like or love dogs depending upon my relationship with them.
As far as animal visitors go now that Doug & I have an apartment that has loads of cats just casually hanging out in some spots including our patio yesterday swatting at some birds, the answer to the next question is yes. Too bad I was at work when that was occuring. It sounded so entertaining & cute!
15. is there an artist of any kind who speaks to your soul?
Oh goodness! So many of them do. A lot of musical artists, writers, and the like. To name them all would have me write out a novel or two even. LOL! However, I will say one at least. Stevie Nicks is a huge one. I love her and her music too death. She was also awesome in Fleetwood Mac as well.
Ok. So this is going to be possibly weird to do because this post is so old and I honestly cannot remember for the life of me if I ever posted it. If I did I apologize in advance for the possible repeat. LOL!
Anyway, thank you @unsealingkale ! I apologize sincerely if I never answered & posted these questions and or apologize for doing it twice depending on whether I did not post or I already have. Anywho, here are my good vibes to you & yours: 😃💖✊✌️ Rock on! 🎸 Stay safe, Be smart, & Take care! May the Force or whatever you believe in be with you always!!! 🌟🌟🌟
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