#my work here is done lmao ᕕ( ᐛ )��

[mane--attraction]

SO I JUST. I READ. I JUST READ. T. THE DAMIEN LEMON. AND WHEN I TELL YOU NOTHING HAS HAD ME BLUSHING THAT HARD AND REACTING LIKE THAT IN A LONG TIME. YOU WROTE THAT IN AN EVENING?!?! "THIS FIC IS UNEDITED"?!?! YOU HAVE TO BE A GODDAMN LIAR THERE IS NO WAY /POS. EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT WAS INCREDIBLE. YOU ARE A LEGEND. I - I LITERALLY CAN'T - HFJFJEURHJRJEHEBVEKFNDHEUEBFJHDUDVFJBDHEBFJDHEIBEBRJDHEIEJ I HAD TO TELL YOU WELL DONE AND THANK YOU FOR WRITING THAT AND EVERYTHING ELSE. YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY/NIGHT/ETC. I AM DEAD

HEHEHEHE 😏😝

Yes, wrote that in an evening >:3 😌 Thank you for the kind words! I appreciate it~ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

(side note i find it hilarious that most of the asks I've received have been about that one Damien fic)

[morvantmortuary]

I tried to post something at the show itself, but tumblr… ate it :’D alas.

so, a few days late but still exciting, have some photos of the tiny!morvants accompanying me and our bestie @bigtiddythanos to the Hozier show over the weekend!!

(left is me trying to take a photo of them in my lap in their Enclosure, right is tiddy generally providing a better angle from where they were sitting in front of us lmao.)

we had really amazing seats at the very end of our row, which meant we both got to go absolutely feral during respective songs (me during Francesca, specifically, bc I didn’t think he was going to play it and then I throttled poor Tiddy’s hands all the way through), and not worry about crowding anyone with our massive emotions lmao

this photo’s a bit zoomed in, but you get the general sense of where we were!

The Man himself was amazing: he was tall, his hair was up and then it was down, and he said the sweetest little “thank you so much! :D” after each song when the crowd lost their minds, as though we’d all just shown up to a little club gig and he hadn’t literally sold out the entire venue. he even came out in the crowd for his first encore, Cherry Wine!! (which I have video of but won’t post so I don’t have to subject people to me singing along under my breath :’D)

and ofc, here he is after his last song of the official set (none other than Take Me to Church, which was its own kind of religious experience ngl), with the pride flag he brought up for his mic:

it’s grainy, but I thought the thumbs up was so cute lmao

part of the original, pre-show post that got eaten was me guessing which song each necromancer(/vampire) would lose their mind during if it got played. however, now that I’ve experienced the whole set for myself, I can tell you with certainty what songs each of them would definitely have flipped out about that evening :D

Maxi - To Be Alone and It Will Come Back, bc they’re both v much how he feels about you. Probably the one freaking out the most during the whole evening; you’ll recall Hoze was his favorite artist to sprawl out on the embalming table and daydream about you to during the early days of your relationship. ;D actually, there was also one dude there in a full suit (with his girlfriend, in her own flowing black dress morticia-style, I was extremely jealous) and I couldn’t help but subtly point him out to Tiddy like ‘yep. that would be our guy. there he is, Mr. Suits-or-Sweatpants-No-Inbetween, the King ♥️’ lol

Hex - Work Song, for the above, which he would’ve been exceptionally excited about as the v last encore, but also Too Sweet bc its a fun jam when he has the radio playing in his dark room or the kitchen

Rora - Like Real People Do, for the same (which she would have insisted on kissing you during), but also the Cherry Wine encore for her own reasons. some things just are too familiar, even when you haven’t bled like a human in a long time.

Seth - Eat Your Young, bc it’s a deeply sexy song about cycles exploitation, which is. his entire vibe tbh, but also secretly From Eden for the above even if he wouldn’t cop to it

Leon - Mostly there just to hang and vibe, but he’d have done the leo dicaprio pointing meme while the necromancers were losing their shit during Take Me to Church like ‘I recognize that one!!! :D’ (he is. not always the most aware of ‘modern’ music, despite having local bands at his bar as often as he can lmao.)

anyway! thank you for humoring me as always 🖤 and thank you once again to our buddy Tiddy for inviting us along 🥰 it was a magical evening, and it’s kickstarted not one but two pieces I was stuck on, so thank you for that too ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

happy may day/beltane to all in the meantime, and I hope everyone’s week is off to a good start! cheers to meeting the halfway point!!!

[365text]

{ 2020 quarantine challenge :: day 1 } how i plan my days + my “study” schedule

basically a wEek in the LiFe of a bErkEley (graduating) senior + deep dive into how i plan and remember each day i spend in quarantine while still attending ~*zoom university*~ !! yeet

• an introduction •

because i spend a lot of time online, i find that my google calendar is the quickest and easiest way for me to manage my time !! though i use my planner / bullet journal on a daily basis to manage my TODOs (+ to journal), i find that gcal gives me the best flexibility and efficiency when it comes to actually planning out and scheduling my day!

the fact that i can check it on my phone while i’m on the go (hurray @ integration across devices) also helped a lot when i was still on-campus and didn’t have the ability to take out my planner from my backpack. and even now in quarantine, when i don’t want to be on my laptop, i can just quickly glance at whatever mobile device to see what i need to do next!

but ya, here comes a (very long) breakdown of how i use this system to keep my days goin’ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ 

(1) color coding + customizations

i am, as many of my friends have pointed out, an aggressive color-coder 👀 i just really like to be able to look at my calendar at the start of the day and have a good idea of what kind of things i need to take care of! to go through my separate calendars/categories in (reverse) order:

bright red (tests) || to remind me when my exams are, not that i’d forget 🤪

light gray (school) || all things school related! classes, student orgs, meetings, etc.

bright blue (teaching duties) || class i’m a TA for

dark blue (csm, aka more teaching) || student org i’m a part of

orange (exercise) || everything health + wellness related

yellow (events) || all my non-school related Events™ that i schedule (ie. socials, calls with friends, anything rly a step from a ~regular daily activity~)

maroon (chinese hw) || hw + projects assignment due dates

light green (daily) || my day-to-day activities

i like having separate categories correspond to colors that i associate with them too! bright red for alarm (exams lmao), light gray for school (muted, in the background hah), light green for daily (because it’s also more muted/in the background, but still prominent enough that i’ll notice it heh), and yellow for fun! events! (because it’s warm and cheerful). 

(2) separate calendars customization

most of my colors correspond to separate calendars, partially because it’s faster to create a color-coded event if you have it in a separate calendar! at least, it is on desktop heh. and also! i find that it’s easier to customize more things on an individual calendar basis:

notifications: each calendar/category has different notification settings. my “tests” calendar reminds me 1 week + 2 weeks in advance, "school” is just 10 min. in advance, whereas “daily” has no reminders at all! i customized these settings according to how often i felt like i needed help remember when certain things were.

colors (lol): in case it wasn’t obvious, colors matter a lot to me LOL. you can choose your own custom colors if it’s a separate calendar, and you can only use the google calendar default colors if you’re “recoloring” an existing calendar event.

display: it’s nice to also be able to toggle on/off various calendars!

but ya those are the main reasons why i use separate calendars instead of just recoloring the events in a single calendar!

(3) creating structure

because as a college student we usually have a good amount of free/flexible time, i find creating structure to be very important for me — and this is true for almost all students now during times in quarantine, when everything is kind of up in the air / go-at-your-own-pace. 

i feel like the nice thing about being a student is that we usually have repeating events, so i like to set recurring calendar events to help create a regular structure on a weekly basis. usually i sit down at the start of the semester with my schedule/syllabi and just add everything in one go. 

and now in quarantine, even if you aren’t given a schedule to follow and if working with a schedule is helpful for you, then creating that structure yourself is a nice way of adding consistency and stability back into your life :’)

the first calendar photo is how my gcal looks at the start of the week before any planning happens!

(4) time blocking

i once read that time blocking (re: setting aside chunks of time for a single task) is optimal for efficiency / mental energy. typically it’s easier for people to focus on one task for an extended period of time (with breaks) than it is to multitask or context-switch super often.

i also find that sometimes my schedule has weird gaps in it, due to the way my mandatory events are set up. so time blocking has helped me determine when i can get certain things done, or if i just wanna take a break in my awkward 30 min. gap between meetings!

the way that i time block is usually:

write in my planner all my (intended) TODOs + goals for the day

look at my calendar for the day + start planning when i’ll do which TODOs using my (default) calendar DAILY 

i only plan the day of in my google calendar, because things change and who knows how much i’ll actually get done ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ also it’s a relaxing thing for me to sit there and journal/plan before i get started with my day hehe. a morning ritual, in a sense!

it also makes it a lot less stressful to look at my calendar, because i only ever look at the current day i’m on and what to do on that particular day. the interface of google calendar makes it really easy for me to drag events around and update time estimates as the day progresses too!

i also find it very useful for me to see what it’s actually possible to get done in my day, since sometimes my TODO list can be a lil’ too ambitious (oops 😋)

(5) daily logs + journaling

and lastly, i have some friends who have completely forgone their gcals since things moved online, but i have actually leaned on it even more —

one reason is all the stuff i listed above (structure, efficiency, also just habit at this point haha). but another really important reason to me is the logging that my gcal calendar creates! since i just spend every day at home, i feel like days were passing by a lot more quickly + in a blur, and by “writing down” everything i did/planned to do on gcal, i’m able to remember what i’ve been doing during these really interesting times o:

it helps me when i journal at the end of the day / the next morning, because i just look back at my gcal to reference what things i did, and then journal about how i felt about those activities.

• the ending •

aaaaand that’s it!

my super long documentation on how i’ve managed my time these past few years in college + in this 2020 quarantine era :’)

[marshmallowprotection]

I know i havent been acknowledging it in any of my asks related to Ray, but every time I write something like "he's such a sweethwart," there's a little voice in my head that goes, "maybe, but he's also not."

I love that you said he's rather similar to Unknown, because that totally clicked in my mind when I read those words.

When I first played AS, i ofc only knew SE Saeran/Unknown, as well as tiny hints here and there from pinterest, but i had no clear expectations. I was just straight up curious. (Btw, this was when his route was already out; I've only been in this fandom for a few months.) So, when you say he puts on a mask, tries to impress you, etc, that also sorta clicked in my mind. I might've mentioned this before, (in fact, Im becoming more and more certain that I have done more than simply mention it), but my first impression of him was: kind, confident, knows what he's doing, knows his end goal. I do think only knowing Unknown/SE from before possibly helped instill that impression a little quicker; it sorta made sense that he would be confident.

I think that line, something like, "I like when people listen to me," because they often don't due to his "small voice," -- that further set in the impression. Maybe its just me, but from that first encounter, i was like, i gotta listen to this guy, i want to listen to him, he's got his wits about him and he's polite and--

Maybe im just a bit of a people pleaser when it comes to certain situation. Even still.

I was going somewhere with that but my cat won't stop yelling at me soooo i forgot ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Also yeah, that one phone call in v's route... and then the SMs, that internal conflict between Ray and Saeran, that was very interesting. Again, I had more to say, but my cat blasted my thoughts out of my head with his obnoxious screams lmao

[417]

That’s why I love him. He’s got a lot more facets than just sweetheart. I know most people love him for comfort, I love him for the comfort, but I also love to get into his head and play around with the more deranged aspects because who isn’t in the mood for a bad ending? That’s my favorite one to play around with and I hardly get to write with that one that I personally made him and my MC where he turns the tables on her and makes her more of a pretty possession than anything. 

I’m one of the few people that write that aspect of him now and again and that’s a shame because it’s fun to have him shift from one extreme to the other. God, knows that I would love to RP that with someone but alas, I’m the only one out here writing OC x Canon for me. 

You should do well to pay attention to Ray and what he’s doing. There are many big warnings but there are also subtle ones that most people disregard. It is in the phone calls and the way that he lingers around you, the way V tries to take you and he holds onto you tightly because he refuses to lose you. You’re his and only his. 

The fun part about Ray is that people think he’s not going to absolutely lose it and he can do that. That’s the part that I love when I’m working with him. When he’s so ready to hold onto you and never let go because this is what he wants and this is his fantasy. Don’t get me wrong, when you show him love and how it really feels, he curbs a lot of the darker thoughts because you’re better than the dreams he had. 

[dyrwoodan]

ok listen today is a very ravell day so. another Post.

i tend to tweak her age and order of the individual events every time i'm replaying the ravell game but Now i've settled for this and i just want to have it in her tag so. here. a small timeline. for anyone interested in how things are in her world state.

4E 191 – ravell gets to riften and starts working for the thieves guild. she is 16 at the time. that’s why casmeraal is like Ahh a Child. and unofficially adopts her

4E 193 – shortly before the mercer betrayal she joins the dark brotherhood as well

4E 194 – mercer charade

4E 196 – listener charade. after assassinating the real emperor she goes back to nazir, gives him the gold to rebuild their base and after that she kind of distances from that life. she is still the listener, unfortunately. she can still hear the night mother. so she serves as the listener, forwards the contracts onto some other member of the brotherhood. but otherwise she is like,, isolating.

(4E ~197 –) she isn't the guild master yet but she is a highly respected tg member and she mostly focuses on that. tg is leaderless, with brynjolf, delvin, vex and ravell at the top but no one is the guild master. anyway, she mostly focuses on tg, the Business and stuff.

4E 200 – joins the dawnguard. misses the thrill of the kill, and risking her life. she is like hm this should be fun and i have nothing better to do anyway and i've been stagnant for 3 years now so. ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

(4E ~201 –) and from that point onwards the dawnguard, dragonborn and miraak business starts intertwining

because dawnguard - she needs the scroll - she is like tf is an elder scroll - starts looking and while at it a dragon appears near whiterun and then it's revealed that she is the dragonborn - they find the scroll + first herma mora meeting occurs at septimus signus’ outpost - the dawnguard is resolved and she comes back from castle volkihar and basically has 26 missed calls from the greybeards - she goes there and the whole dragonborn business fully starts

(4E ~202 - 203 – ) at this point she is a bit more known for being the dragonborn which gives miraak a reason to start pestering her - so then dealing with alduin AND miraak is a concurrent issue

not sure how this is dealt with lmao but i think she is done with everything when she turns 28. and after Allll that she is like no one fucking talk to me Ever again about Anything. good night to my wife fuck the rest of y'all.

[jonarchivistcansing]

So I have a magnus archives playlist

I’ve been making a long chronological Magnus Archives playlist for my own amusement (So This Is Basically The Magnus Archives) , but since season 5 is close and my college kicked everyone out i decided to Do Something Unnecessary. 

I have taken painstaking effort to not only properly organize this stupid thing with specific tma episodes, but also have documented the episodes as well as why I included the songs (under the cut). This is my Magnum Opus. I have officially pulled an all nighter to work on this. AND i’m making another playlist with songs that I wanted to keep tabs on in case I end up needing to use them as s5 comes out (here) Spoiler warning obviously

Please send me some songs if you follow the playlist and think they should be on there! 

TLDR - Grace for sale = season 1 finale; Bad Bad Things = season 2 finale; Greatest Show Unearthed = season 3 finale; Just Did a Bad Thing = Season 4 finale.

I bold the songs I added most recently. Honestly I recommend listening to the playlist first because its way fun and like referencing this if you really care about it. Please give me song suggestions or alterations! 

Song Name - MAG00 - PoV/Sung at/etc; Event. NA = Not Applicable

The Office Theme - NA

memes

Turn The Lights Off - MAG 01

The whole “Dont go in there” theme is applicable to the danger of the Angler fish, which also parallels that first statement acting as a lure for Jon

Don’t Worry We’ll Be Watching You - NA

I didn’t want to comb through to find an episode where Jon says hes being watched. I might move this somewhere else because it’s really slow for the begining of the playlist. Maybe  where he went to America

Somebody’s Watching Me - NA

Same as above + memes

Bloody Nose - MAG 17 - PoV Jared Hopworth

the boneturner’s tale statement

Grace For Sale - MAG 39 - PoV Jane Prentiss; S1 Finale

I didn’t know this was part of a whole carnival themed album when I added it, but I felt that the themes of shedding your skin and worms were relevant enough. Still looking for a good song for the s1 finale tho :/

I Don’t Trust You Anymore - MAG 40/41 - PoV Jon

Immediately after the Worm Attack, Jon realizes he can’t trust anyone in the archives.

Losing My Mind - NA - PoV Jon

Jon makes a lot of mentions of his paranoia thruout this season and I feel it just fits best here

Little Pistols - NA - PoV Jon

Same as above, but its like Really Sad because this one paints the paranoia as much more self-destructive. 

Afraid - MAG 77 - Multi PoV/Sasha

Jon just realized the NotSasha replaced Sashsa. Could be from Sasha or NotSasha or even Jon realizing the implications a shapeshifting creature, just fkcn love the chorus for the whole NotSasha fiasco

Mr Capgras - MAG 78/79 - Sung by the NotThem

Jon’s a huge idiot and the NotThem is Out For Blood 

Bad Bad Things - MAG 80 - PoV Elias; S2 Finale

Bitch boy Murkd Leitner and Gertrude and he’s an asshole for it

Its not overly literal but i think some characters in the song could be interpreted as Leitner and Gertrude, with the POV Elias speaking to Jon. 

I’m Not Ok - MAG 81 - PoV Jon

Georgie pls....help this nasty man

The Cult of Dionysus - NA

Honestly this isn’t very specific at all there’s just a lot more cult activity in this season and this song lines up well with the next few

Rejoice - MAG 89 - PoV Jude Perry/Lightless Flame

this ep is jude’s statement and this is a Good cult song

Bust Your Kneecaps - MAG 67 - PoV Agnes Montague

Keeps with the theme better here than in order with s2. Statement of cafe boy who tried to romance Agnes that one time

Are Things Still Burning - MAG 67/89 - PoV Agnes Montague

You’ll get it.

I’m Gonna Win - MAG 101 - PoV Gertrude or Michael

Really connect this song with gertrude’s Bad Bitch energy and MAG 101 is the episode where we really get a scope of how morally gray she is

But the overall cocky tone of the song is real good for Michael

The Distortionist - MAG 101 - PoV Michael

this ep is Michael’s statement. 

Its kind of hard to tell because of the vocaloid, but the song's character seems to have been pushed and  manipulated into something like Michael. I can see the song shifting from Michael singing about how Gertrude created him into accepting it and them singing at Jon

Has wayyyyy too much Spiral imagery to not include

Seven Devils - MAG111 - PoV Gerard Kaey

this is the ep where Gerard properly explains the fears to Jon

Dirty Night Clowns - MAG 104 - PoV Tim Stoker?

sort of Tim about his brother

Blood End Credits - no MAG/MAG 119 - PoV Tim Stoker

god i miss tim. I don’t think it translates exactly to 119, but it’s more of the climax of his character arch. He’s literally given everything to the Institute and to Elias and now he has to fucking die? FUck.  

Greatest Show Unearthed - MAG 139 - PoV Nikola/The Circus

This one is literal lol. u can figure it out

My Time - MAG 120/121 - Sung about Jon

*Mable pines picture* “He’s resting”

Who Are You, Really? - MAG 121 - Sung at/for Jon

Jon has to decide whether to let himself die human or risk becoming a monster to protect the people he loves*

*Martin

Cold Cold Man - MAG 124 - PoV Jon

This is the first time Jon and Martin have seen each other since he woke, and I think really the first time Jon has sought out Martin because he just...wanted to see him

Ruler of Everything - MAG 124 - PoV Martin

This is Martin’s side of the exchange he and Jon had. This is where he started pushing Jon away (Shot as wily one/only friend), and Peter is making him into the “ruler of everything” aka running the Institute, and just doing his best to go one day at a time until whatever Peter has planned gets done

Catabolic Seed - MAG 125 - PoV Melanie

Honestly, I just really wanted this song for melanie. The Magnus Institute is taking too much out of her, making her into a hollow, and she’s just trying to keep herself together with emotional duct tape

Body - MAG 131 Build Up - PoV Jon

I see this as the culmination of Jon’s survival guilt and desperation to make himself worthy of humanity again. Since he has a healing factor now, he has no sense of self-preservation and is willing to sacrifice his entire body to make himself worthy of humaity.

Skeleton Appreciation Day - MAG 131 - PoV Jared Hopworth

THE MEATBONE MANNNN

What Am I Becoming? - MAG 146/147 - PoV Jon

It hurts

in 146 Jon admited to Basira, Daisy, and Melanie confronted him about his live feedings. 147 Jon realises that he doesn’t want to stop feeding

Human - Mag 147/152 - For Jon

Couldn’t decide where this goes chronologically, but these in these two eps jon is seriously debating his humanity and disturbed that he even needs to do that 

Isle Unto Thyself - NA 

 this fits....somewhere in this season. I believe i see this as Jon singing about Martin’s isolation, but really its just applicable to their whole situation

Train Remastered - MAG 154 - PoV Jon

a fukn EASY one FINALLY. 

THis bitch is Jon asking Martin to blind himself with Jon so they can run away together. Their romantic arcs got me feeling all sorts of ways

No Eyed Girl - MAG 157

this is so literal lmao its just Melanie and Georgie

Not Human - MAG 158 - About Daisy

She’s spent so long serving the Hunt and trying to undo its power over her, and she really just Did That(tm) for her friends. We stan a werewolf queen

Monster - Many MAGs

honestly can fit Martin, Jon, Melanie and Daisy at different points, but i think its a good end to Daisy’s character arc currently

Ship In A Bottle - MAG 159 - About Martin and Peter

I like to see this as the climax of Martin’s Loneliness and his relationship with Peter as well as like the culmination of Peter’s deal with Elias and Martin’s Deal with Peter

It’s Alright - MAG 159 - To Jon and Martin

Jon Rescued Martin from the Lonely and is finally able to have a purpose and they are allowed to Be Okay

Honeybee - MAG 160 - PoV Jon

WE STAN TRUE LOVE AND SATISFYING ROMANCE IN THIS HOUSEEEEEEE

Great Vacation - Thematic transition

If Honeybee was the first 2 minutes of 160, then we know what’s coming next. The Scottish Cottage isn’t a vacation

Just Did A Bad Thing - MAG 160

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Its the end of the world as we know it - Season 5 trailer

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

[coffeebear-sama]

COMMISSIONS! \( ・ᄌ・ )/

UPDATE - COMMISSIONS HAVE BEEN REOPENED (1/8/2019) check here! ----------------------------------- ( ᐛ ) Hey guys! 

I’m opening commissions for the first time now :D Way overdue I know lol. Made some commission charts that almost look like Gacha banners lmao, of what type of works i’ll currently do. 

I do plan on making limited time only ‘Special’ banners for things like mini animated gif-type art, icon’s and also the lineless style art you may have seen me do ;D

This will be for another time in the future, so keep an eye out for those!

Without further ado, Here are some things for you to keep in mind ( ^ v ^ )/

Notes

Payment is done through Paypal only👌

Prices are in £ GBP [Great British Pound]

IF your Oc does not have any already drawn physical appearance, descriptions are fine BUT it needs to be detailed very clearly, provided with visual refs (like pinterest images) to help me figure out how you want it.

I have the right to cancel your request if you ask for something I do not have the ability to draw or if I’m uncomfortable drawing

You may use your commission(s) for personal use please and do not claim it as your own

I retain the rights to use your commission(s) for advertising/promoting purposes

Rude behaviour is a no-no tsk tsk >:3 //waves magic finger//

I will draw

Original characters - i.e. Sonic oc’s, FFXIV characters, DnD oc’s etc

Anthro/Furries - I have drawn them before but not very often. I am, however, willing to try :3 

Light gore

Monster Gal’s/Boi’s

I will not draw

Mecha (For now, as I want to get better at drawing them. Once I do get to a decent lvl of drawing them because I like Mecha , I plan on making a special chart for that one day ;D)

Complex backgrounds (Same as with Mecha’s, I want to get better at doing these beforehand~)

NSFW - Meaning no Pr0n/Explicit nudes, Fetish, Extreme gore or any other negative/suggestive things of that nature plz

Realism - Simply not my cup of tea

✦INTERESTED IN A COMMISSION? (  >ᄌ > )✧

DM me either on Instagram, Tumblr or Twitter and we can discuss further!

✦WANNA SUPPORT ME? ✧( <ᄌ < )

I have a Kofi account which I made awhile back (wasn’t official yet until I got commissions open). If you like what I do, feel free to drop in a donation!★ Any amount is welcome and if not (don’t worry ish ok), reblogging/retweeting/sharing this is greatly appreciated! ( ^ ᄌ ^ )

                                          Thanks for reading!

                                                      ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

                                            ✦STAY GOLDEN✦

IG | Twitter | Kofi

[beastoftheblackhole]

got tagged by @d--t​ to do this, so here i go :>

things i read in 2020

i’m just gonna list the stuff i actually finished, bc i’m a great one for starting a book but never finishing it ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ this list would be twice as long if i included stuff i started and abandoned. stars next to rereads, stuff i liked/recommend in italics. i read more than i thought i did, dang.

harrow the ninth

monsters among us

haunted files from the edge

the hunt for the skinwalker*

snow crash*

the interdimensional universe

monsters of the sea

helter skelter

mirrorshades

a cruel wind: pandemic flu in america, 1918-1920

the indifferent stars above

the druidry handbook

backwoods witchcraft

queering the tarot

witchcraft and the gay counterculture

‘salem’s lot*

sesqua valley and other haunts*

the strange dark one*

sabriel*

lirael*

neuromancer*

wyrm (ugh)

end of october (ugh)

this republic of suffering: death and the american civil war

books of blood

burning chrome

appaloosa

resolution

brimstone

does the coffee table tom of finland book from taschen count? it’s mostly pics (natch) but there’s actual like. words in it, essays on his work from fans and some biographical stuff

i wasn’t gonna list fanfics bc wow that’d make this list too fuckin long but reach out and touch faith gets a special shout-out bc a) @d--t wrote it and b) its rly fuckin good

poss other books, but icr them. also countless fanfics, mostly for ravenous, star wars, and star trek tng. also the obligatory articles abt spanish flu, the biology o covid, an article or two abt film photography, etc. u know, special interest stuff and story research.

things i wrote in 2020

i don’t think i finished anything? i finished my blood drive/ravenous crossover, but i did that like. friday? saturday? so in 2021. fucker clocked in at 106-107 pages so far, depending on what happens when i’m done editing. it’ll start going up in a couple weeks, prob. but i did work on it in 2020, so i guess that counts. i also worked on all three o my novel projects, tho i decided to shelve the pandemic novel until covid’s over. it’s hard to write abt a pandemic while ur living in one, or at least i found it so. so: 

a fantasy pandemic novel feat. politics, crisis response, and more queers than u can shake a stick at, basically camus’ ‘the plague’ or soderbergh’s ‘contagion’ in a fantasy setting, which i’ve been working on since. 2018?? 2019??

an epic fantasy western abt Big Nature, cosmic horror, and magic-as-radiation inspired by ansel adams, the donner party, high strangeness, and nuclear disasters

a very absurd crossover that’s basically cannibal murder husbands vs murder husbands in cars that run on blood, feat. a cameo from mad science and musings on the nature o immortal relationships

cyberpunk retail trauma with necromancy and designer pathogens and more mad science and queers. so like. futuristic arcane-/bio-/cyberpunk i guess.

i also poked a few odds and ends among my wips, tried and failed to write a smutty side story abt the two leads from the fantasy western, but nothing to shout from the mountaintops abt.

things i’m gonna read in 2021

bruh idk i can’t predict what’s gonna catch my eye and be my next book. i started rereading ‘american gods’ a couple days ago and ‘the andromeda strain’ yesterday, so prob gonna finish those. i do know i’m gonna at least try to read:

tarot for writers

the spectral arctic: a history of ghosts and dreams in polar exploration

the ghosts of cape sabine: the harrowing true story of the greeley expedition

full body problem: growing up in the nuclear shadow of rocky flats

exploring the northern tradition

norse mythology (the guerber one)

history of the donner party: a tragedy of the sierras (maybe)

we’ll see how many o those i actually get thru lmao. i’m in the process o reading the norse mythology book at least, so that stands a good chance. 

anyway, i tag u, gentle reader.

[hoofbeast]

warning! dream daddy spoilers for damien’s route

first of all, i just want to say that i fucking love this game holy shit. i work full time so i only get enough time to play one route per day, so ill eventually get through all the dads, but i started off with damien. this post is going to be a whole shitload of screencaps and spoilers, so ill put everything under a cut

the theme song is so great XD i actually paused my pandora at work so i could listen to the song a couple times

i wanted to play my first run through of this game as close to me as i could manage. i took extra care to design my character to look like me. i had my husband help and he still cant get over how much this character looks like me. my first choice for hair color was white (like most of my hair is now) but we decided to go with red because no matter what i do to my hair i inevitably circle back to red. i gave him my signature sly smirk and i used my actual name, too :3

right away, this game has me pegged. this is exactly something i would do XD

she’s a real chip off the ol’ block. FUCK THE SYSTEM! *wipes tear*

we ran into brian and daisy in the park, and honestly, brian will probably be one of the last dads i pursue the ending for. few things piss me off more than one-upmanship. im sure theres a lot more to his character and route, but still. 

also, question: is it possible that daisy is on the autism spectrum? theres a lot more to see of her, but what ive seen so far is that she’s exceedingly intelligent, doesnt get along well with kids her age but seems fine around older persons, didnt understand the concept of playing pretend until amanda explained it. i remember being pretty much exactly like that when i was a kid, and ive been thinking of getting evaluated for a while, myself.

the pokemon battle dad brag-off was a nice touch XD is it possible to win? cuz brian kicked my ass like it was his job

seriously, wow. is this game somehow able to evaluate the choices ive made so far and build a personality profile for me or is social awkwardness a way more universal experience than i thought?? because this is exactly #me

so anyway, i met a few more dads before calling it a day. 

i kinda dig mat, he’s as awkward and rambly as i am, and i am always cool with people who are passionate about music and puns and music puns. so far, he was the top contender for my first dad. 

then there’s robert, with his hot, smoldering gaze. hot and smoldering because i can already tell that inside, he’s a blazing tire fire.

i dont hate craig (forgot to get a cap of him, oops) but i do hate everything he stands for. namely, jogging, exercise, waking up before noon, and jogging. fuck an entire pile of that. i totally blew him off when he tried to get me to come to the gym and went back to sleep. like i said, im playing this as though Daddy Felix were the irl me and, honestly, craig would be lucky if he got a text of anything but misspelled swears and knife emojis from me if he woke me up at 6am

i will state right now that i do. not. trust joseph. he’s the only dad ive seen so far that actively flirts right from the beginning which is highly suspect behavior for a youth minister, and once i did the yard party and saw that he was still married, i trusted him even less. what kind of future could my character ever have with some cheatin ass bastard?? if i give you a bad dragon gift card will you back the fuck up off me, joseph >:/

#me

forgot to get a cap of damien in dead, goth, and beyond (i am totally calling it that from now on thats perf omg) 

anyway, i got through the yard party part. i kinda feel bad for craig cuz i stonewalled him pretty hard haha. but mat was there and i wanted to know what he was saying.

about this dadbook thing, tho: its grindr. like, its thinly-veiled grindr. there is exactly 0 reason why a nonsexual social media site should have turn-ons and ideal dates. this is definitely where dads go to hook up and fuck.

i read through the profiles and decided to message damien, literally because his says to send him a letter if i wanna talk about black cats and i VERY MUCH WANT TO TALK ABOUT CATS, YES. i didnt expect it to trigger a date, but this is the opposite of a problem. i figured id just have to court mat on my next playthrough

damiens house is fucking awesome 10/10 would have tea again

hoh! looks like i found your slashfic, damien >:3

wait. the narration said it was a worn leather bound book. did this fucking nerd seriously have his gay naruto fanfic bound in leather and then he keeps it in his swanky library?? i knew there was a reason i liked him XD

i think the first time i saw this reaction was from brian at the park and i was looking at the text so i didn’t see what it actually was. this time i was paying attention and its fucking eggplant and droplet emojis and im fuCKING WHEEZING FUCK XDDDD i know damn well what that means ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

anyway ya boi felix fucking crushed it whoop whoop! i learned to date from the master (the dating master is of course papyrus)

i have actually never played a dating sim before so it never occurred to me that i could go on dates with multiple dads without fucking up my game. i thought i was locked in to damien’s route, which, again, was the opposite of a problem, full speed ahead ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

so damien wrote me a for real letter! what a classy gent. <3 i am always a slut for handwritten letters

so obviously i write him a letter back, and i try to pick the options that are classy and rule out the ones that are trashy or over the top. i remember being a goth teen (and a goth adult ahaha) and how much i hated being condescended to. i want to play along with damien’s shtick, not make fun of him

completely forgot to take any caps of the actual date, but damien is afraid of horror movies and that’s even more adorable than mcree being afraid of horses. also, the running gag of cliche horror movie shit happening when damien shows up (his door creaking open and then slamming closed, spontaneous cracks of thunder) is terrific. my favorite part of vampire chronicles II: evil never dies is during the twist ending where one of the characters fucking looks into the camera and says the full title of the next movie in the series (vampire chronicles III: evil must die again) like its an actual statement a person would say in conversation. that shit had me cracking up

third date i was cockblocked before i could kiss damien by his phone ringing, then we ended up here and omg if this is a blood donation clinic im gonna shit

i see pet carriers. this is a vet’s clinic or smth

*sharp gasp* he’s... a NERD!! not that i didnt know that already by the way he has smutty fanfic in his library lmao

who would i even be trying to kid, of course i am

me: *softly, choking back genuine tears* gaaaaaaaay....

fucking SWOOOOON

(also he reminds me of equius when his hair is tied back like this and just HNNNG!! this was the BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME)

sorry heteros, mothmans gay and we’re dating

piss off joseph im clearly with damien i know you want your slutty altarboy holes filled but find somebody else to do it fucks sake begone, thot

screeeeee<3<3<3<3<3

THE END!

not sure if ill post about other dads and their routes. probably not like this lol. im no good at this whole commentary thing. maybe ill collect up some highlights and post them or something.

anyway, im going to go through each of the dads while making decisions i would personally make, where possible. once im done with that ill go back and savescum until ive tried out each option so i can try for all the bad endings. my brother’s girlfriend told me theres a secret ending for joseph but i told her not to spoil it for me (maybe a polyamorous relationship with him and mary?? that would be awesome mary is cool), and i saw in the achievements that you can fuck robert on the first night. otherwise im actively trying to go through this blind and im having a blast so far. this is a very fun game

[bambl-ing]

I'm…going to ask for all the get to know me asks, haha. ^^;

I WONDERED IF YOU WOULD BUT I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

alright get ready for wAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

1. What is you middle name?jokes on u I don’t have one

2. How old are you?20, but I feel eternally 17 which grows more and more awkward with each passing year

3. What is your birthday?10/05/1996

4. What is your zodiac sign?Libra !

5. What is your favorite color?it’s a tie between orange and purpleI also like blue 

6. What’s your lucky number?5

7. Do you have any pets?a dog, two cats, and a snake!

8. Where are you from?like where was I born ? I was actually born in Korea, but I moved to the states when I was 2

9. How tall are you?like maybe 5′7″ or 8″ idk it’s been a few years

10. What shoe size are you?Sometimes 8, sometimes 9

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?more than I ever thought I would, probably not as many as other people

12. What was your last dream about?I was at my old manager’s house and she had me doing laundry, but when I put the clothes in the dryer it started filling with water and I was like “um I don’t think it’s supposed to do that” and she was like “oh no I know what’s going on” and she told me about this time in ‘86 when all across the country, everyone who had washed their clothes with a certain kind of soap went to bed and were rudely awoken by their clothes just randomly flooding water out ? 

so then she was like “that’s what’s happening but it should stop soon, so if you could just take apart the dryer and let it drain before putting it back together and drying the clothes that would be great” but then she also had a really old shelf unit that she wanted me to build but I had a thing I had to go to in like, an hour? and there just wasn’t enough time to take apart and rebuild the dryer AND the shelf, so I was a little annoyed and also like “crap, which one should I do first”

13. What talents do you have?uh. nothing out of the ordinary really ?14. Are you psychic in any way?nah (at least not that I’m aware of and nobody’s mentioned anything)

15. Favorite song?The Middle by Jimmy Eat World

16. Favorite movie?uhhhh…I guess right now Arrival? I just REALLY want to see it again alsdfh

17. Who would be your ideal partner?someone who respected me and who I could trust completely 

18. Do you want children?NAH

19. Do you want a church wedding?don’t really want to get married either? unless like, the benefits…,,

20. Are you religious?Not really 

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?yis

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?nope

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?I mean I went to Warped Tour and met a bunch of bands does that count

24. Baths or showers?you know if I had an actual nice big bathtub in which I could actually submerge myself without my knees awkwardly sticking out and getting cold, I would probably really like baths?? I’d definitely shower first though, baths would be for soaking in warmth

25. What color socks are you wearing?I’m wearing two pairs, white and the other is white and blue

26. Have you ever been famous?LOL NOPE

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?not really, all that attention…………

28. What type of music do you like?all of it

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?nah

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?4 ( ᐛ )

31. What position do you usually sleep in?I can and will sleep in any position, lately I’ve been falling asleep on my back though because Jack’s been sleeping by my pillow and I like to shove my face in his fur, nice n soft

32. How big is your house?not that big, but big enough

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?cereal of some kind or a bagel and butter, sometimes a cheese omlette if I have enough time

34. Have you ever fired a gun?nope

35. Have you ever tried archery?yes ! and I loved it

36. Favorite clean word?a few, serendipity, soliloquy, and haphazard just off the top of my head

37. Favorite swear word?I can work pretty well with any of them in the right mood

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?maybe like two days ? maybe a lil more I dunno

39. Do you have any scars?a few here and there

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?well if they’re secret i wouldnt kno would i ( ᐛ )

41. Are you a good liar?unfortunately I think so, as long as like…the benefit of the lie outweighs my guilt over lying

42. Are you a good judge of character?I got no clue

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?really badly sure

44. Do you have a strong accent?I mean I don’t think I have any kind of accent ? 

45. What is your favorite accent?Cajun( •⌄• )✧

46. What is your personality type?like the MBTI? I’m an INFJ

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?as if I’d remember (probably nothing that expensive tho)

48. Can you curl your tongue?yeah but I can’t do the clover thing

49. Are you an innie or an outie?innie

50. Left or right handed?Leftie !

51. Are you scared of spiders?yeah but I don’t like killing them unless they’re in my room and I don’t have a jar

52. Favorite food?how do people pick one food like,,, there’s so much good food, food is so good??

53. Favorite foreign food?again, how ????

54. Are you a clean or messy person?more messy than clean, but I also get really annoyed with too much mess and then angry clean

55. Most used phrased?if I’m counting everything I say out loud AND what I just think to myself, probably “you’re stupid,” “shut the fuck up,” “fuck you,” and “I’m going to stab you” 

…all of these are aimed at myself, and it probably makes me sound really self-hateful? X’D but I’m not, I just get frustrated with myself and am always 100% done with my shit

56. Most used word?probably “I” “a” or “the” going statistically lmao

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?depends, I usually shower at night but my showers are usually 15-20 minutes, and for work I have to put my hair up and also a hat, and I’ve got blunt bangs that I have to make sure are perfect, u know? so give me another like 8 minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego?no, not really at all

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?suck, then when they get small it’s been a few minutes and I’m impatient so I crunch ‘em

60. Do you talk to yourself?oh yes

61. Do you sing to yourself?me and only me

62. Are you a good singer?no? maybe? average? I’m probably not that terrible but when other people are around I become terrified and choke up and die

63. Biggest Fear?People™

64. Are you a gossip?only with my close friends who I know won’t spread the gossip

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?hlkfshdfos I don’t watch enough movies and my memory isn’t that great 

66. Do you like long or short hair?long !

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?give me a pencil and paper and like an hour

68. Favorite school subject?English and PE

69. Extrovert or Introvert?Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?I’ve been snorkeling, close ?

71. What makes you nervous?A Lot

72. Are you scared of the dark?yes, but sometimes nah

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?mostly no if they’re strangers (it’s terrifying to do that okay), but occasionally yeah

74. Are you ticklish?very, don’t touch my sides

75. Have you ever started a rumor?not that I can remember, and I don’t think I ever would intentionally?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?define authority

77. Have you ever drank underage?in the presence of my mother, yeah

78. Have you ever done drugs?nah brah

79. Who was your first real crush?probably like…third grade, this kid named Micah. idk if it was a “real” crush, but like I really liked him and wanted to hang out and talk about dragons

80. How many piercings do you have?4, double piercings in my ears

81. Can you roll your Rs?yep

82. How fast can you type?I actually knew this at one point in like sophomore or junior year? it was either 86 or 96 CPM, smth like that

83. How fast can you run?fast, but not super fast, so like…kinda fast. I’ve probably gotten slower cause I don’t run regularly tho

84. What color is your hair?brown and really nice in the sunlight, I love it

85. What color are your eyes?brown again. sometimes I’ll just remember “oh yeah I have brown eyes!” and I actually really like them too, I think they’re a nice brown

86. What are you allergic to?I honestly haven’t run into anything yet

87. Do you keep a journal?I keep like an angry journal? but not just ordinary anger, it’s when I’m REALLY in a shittastic mood

88. What do your parents do?my mom’s a transcriptionist/editor/proofreader and my dad own a secondhand store

89. Do you like your age?I mean,,

I don’t hate it, but it makes me really uneasy when people are like “oh you’re 20 you definitely do 20-year-old things and you are an Adult” and I’m just like “no not really actually”

90. What makes you angry?some stuff, but I don’t like getting angry so a lot of the time I’m able to reason with myself

91. Do you like your own name?well enough

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?I will birth no babies ever and I have no desire to raise any real children, but if my OCs count as my babies then shit tons and counting

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?again, OCs? all of them. actual real, breathing, sticky children? none

94. What are you strengths?I know my weaknesses ?

95. What are your weaknesses?sighs

96. How did you get your name?I think like…it was my grandmother’s middle name? 

97. Were your ancestors royalty?not that I know of

98. Do you have any scars?déjà vu

99. Color of your bedspread?which one LMAO uh the top one is blue, the one underneath that is pink, then a blue/white/gray patterned, a darker pink knit, white, then a white knit

100. Color of your room?orange ! a really nice light orange that can look yellow in some light >u