#my wars is Nothing like lu wars; he's silly and goofy and not at all serious

[quirkle2]

question!

i've been wanting to stray away from lu for a while now and do my own thing with wars n ledge and the rest of the links (mainly bc i feel restricted by jojo's rules/don't agree w her takes, and wanna pursuit my own stuff), but there's one big thing holding me back, and that's lack of views to put it bluntly

if i make my own au and don't tag its content as #lu, then it will most definitely get a fraction of the attention my lu content does. and i know it sounds self-centered of me to worry abt something like that, but i put months of work into the fics i post. i put days of work into each art piece i post. if i work on something for months and then 10 people on ao3 read it and an astounding 0 of them even leave a comment, that will be Devastating to my motivation And confidence

what im asking y'all is this: should i finally make my own au to separate myself from lu and risk the plunge in notes, or should i stay in the lu fandom and suffer?

[filypadreams]

[ Guardian Angel ]

(Obey Me Brothers x gn!reader) angst/fluff ] based on Nightbringer's initial synopsis.

A-Asmo-chan!? It's ok Asmo, it's gonna be ok, look at me sweetheart. H-hey now…crying isn't a good look on you, let me help.

I had been looking for Asmo since Michael's blast. We were right next to each other but the light was so strong I was scared I would go blind.

(Y/N)...? (Y/N)! My wings!! The left side hurts and, and… I think I smell iron? Is my wing ruined? Please fix it, fix my beautiful wings!

Silly goose, you shouldn't be worrying about at a time like this. What if your flight gets impaired? Turn around, will you? Let your local dashing doctor see them~!

Asmo had a broken wing. He still looked as beautiful as the day he was born. Even whilst sobbing.

*sniff* I-I know but it's important! Michael always called me the cutest of archangels. Not that it matters now…

《It never will but at least you'll always be beautiful even without my help.》

_________

Levi? Leviathan where are you?!!

Ah! Finally I found you! Where were you? You got Lucifer worried.

I hadn't meant to be a burden to them but I couldn't shake away my worry for Asmodeus. Besides, there were so many casualties.

That's my line, I've been looking for you since the blast! Are your eyes ok? It was really bright.

…To be honest it's all a little blurry. The only thing that differentiates you from all the white plumage around me are the jewels decorating your wings!

Levi…they are quartz. Clear quartz, how can you see them if everything looks as bright?

Is my Levia-chan hallucinating??

The only assurance I got that he didn't hear the shake in my voice was his goofy smile. Like me, Levi was trying to keep himself together. He was happy to see a familiar shape.

I brushed his bangs away, his eyes were unfocused but nothing too serious, I hoped.

Hahaha! Silly normie. Your wings always shone brighter than most! My eyes do hurt, can you fix them? I'm…afraid to be honest.

《Oh, Levi… you ain't alone. I'm also afraid. Afraid I couldn't help anymore.》

__________

(Y/N), stop for a moment, please! You've been flying around non-stop. Aren't you hungry? I managed to keep some Pão de Deus* stashed away.

…Beel where did you even stash it?? In your pants?!

Probably the only time I got a good laugh out of this war. The bread tasted great regardless of where he took it from. Beel was relatively fine even if he looked worse for wear.

I assure you it's not contaminated. I need to go back and look for Belphie before he gets himself… … Please be safe.

He didn't dare speak his thoughts less they became reality. Which it almost did. He was always so gentle. Too gentle.

Wait Beel, you have a huge gash on yoru chest- LET ME FIX IT!

《How pathetic could I be at this point. To still even try, to believe I wasn't forsaken!》

__________

MAMMON!! Come back here this second or I'll throw you down to Earth myself!

Oi! That's not funny at all (Y/N)! We could end up there ya know?! Stupid Belphie…

I admit, bad choice of words. I couldn't let that idiot roam around with a gash in his chest though!

You don't mean that…nor did I mean to sound callous. But you need to sit down this instant, a gold piece fell off and you are bleeding! Honestly, what were you thinking when you got those??

Got a problem with my war medals?! They represent my proud and precious achievements for your information.

They say to be proud of your scars for those are marks of bravery. Of life.

Those are also heavy and attached to your skin in an impractical and unwise way. Let me fix that gash for you then we can look for Lucifer together.

Hmph! If you insist. Take haste, I can't stay idle for too long!

Really though, thank you. I'm scared for once…

《It's tragic you couldn't see yourself equally as treasured as your hoard anymore. I wonder how many you'll have. How many scars once this conflict is over will mark your body, that I couldn't heal?! There's too much gold on you.》

__________

…

…..

Lu…Lucifer? Hold on I'm here to help!

Even if for a moment, Lucifer had fallen on his side. The first of many during that battle.

I never saw him as damaged as in that moment. I had to do something!

Get…away from me! It's not safe out here for guardian angels! Hasn't Raphael provided you with shelter or something like that?

My brothers, sisters and, and… e-everyone was dutifully safely guided, sir! You need to worry no more, I'm here to…

To help.

(Y/N)...thank you. But I'm afraid you are of more help alive than with dead weight. Don't make me drag you with us.

Every guardian angel under Raphael had been dispatched to safety to help the wounded. I was one of the strongest but still low in rank, especially compared to someone as prideful in their capabilities as "The Light Bearer" himself. Please sir, don't push me away this time. Let me.

What are you saying…? Lucifer what are you doing you baboon? Stop being so incoherent, you know this is not like you.

I think the blunt end of a spear hit your head pretty hard, let me fix that for you, sir! It's my duty to be here.

《To be a useless withering and trembling angel. How can I expect to clean all that blood if I couldn't even fix Asmo's wings?!》

__________

Where is she? My sister…where's my bubbly, kind, naive sister?!!!

He screamed into the void, voice hoarse. No one was in the right mindset to help him. It's a blessing…it's lucky we survived. Most of us.

Belphie don't force yourself to speak! You…it was a huge fall. It's a miracle we are not as mortally wounded as I expected, hehe… let me have a better look at your leg, it seems to be broken. I'm sure I can fix it-

SHUT UP! Who have you "fixed" since we started fighting?! You can't help anyone anymore, you couldn't "fix" any of us. You were useless, (Y/N)!!!

And you fell just like that, like…like an incompetent!

Belphegor, please don't say that, I tried…I'm sure I can… I can still…

I let my tears spill after holding them in for so long. He was right, I had long lost my powers or at least I was forbidden to help them.

There's nothing I can do.

If you could fix this you could help Lilith. Where is she? Please tell me she's going to be ok, (Y/N). Can you do that?

He sounded desperate. I myself wasn't sure of what Lucifer was doing but I didn't have it in me to tell the truth.

Beelzebub saved you. Lilith was mortally wounded. If she's not gone yet then she's about to die.

Belphie would be none the wiser by looking me in the face, as I would find out.

… …

Yes. She's- There's someone much stronger than me. Lucifer is talking to him right now. I'm not sure what will be of dear Lilith but it's hard to deny that thanks to him, everyone will be fine.

Better tha-

Thank you. I apologize, you never disappoint. I should know.

I can't see anything, could you take me to Beel? He doesn't feel quite right.

Of course. I'm so lucky to be blessed like this even down here, uh? Your local doctor will fix all your troubles!

《Better than with someone as useless as me, who left you blind.

Who even Raphael* has forsaken》

_____[ House of Lamentations]_____

[ Some unknown time in the future]

Fix them. Fix them, fix them, FIX THEM (Y/N)!

In the silent living room your form shakes on the sofa. You fell asleep again.

" Oh? Mammon, call Lucifer!! I think (Y/N) is having a nightmare again! "

Asmo shrieked in panic at his older brother. He had stayed to look after you. You were such a cutie in dreamland!

" Another one?? On it!

Oi, Lucifeeer!"

Mammon's voice is carried through the halls, echoing his worries. Meanwhile Asmo tries to find a comfortable place to sit close to you and pets your head.

" What are you dreaming of this time, angel?"

" Fix…"

Asmo inclines his head curious. Fix? Mammon's garage?

" Fix them. You can't… useless… why?"

Why are you also alive? Why were you able to walk, why did you keep wings stronger than Asmo's to fly?! Why do you still exist-

You feel a pair of hands on your shoulders, shaking you awake.

Your eyes unfocused on orange eyes and hair that today is brown, some other days is pink and in-between.

" Angel?! Wake up beautiful you shouldn't be in dreamland right now. It's not yours to live in."

" Asmo? Your wings, where are they? Oh, look at your face, you'll get wrinkles if you look at me like that. Don't be sad!"

Asmo blinks at you, worried. You lift a hand to his to caress his cheek.

He manages to force out one of his signature giggles.

" Silly goose~ Did you forget? This is how I look when I want to rest my wings! No need to use them indoors. Hehe."

" Rest… oh, I fell asleep again in the sofa. So… Levi and Belphie…?"

" Their eyes never worked better. Well, bright lights are not as easy to take in anymore but we are healthy. Thanks for always guiding us, angel~"

You are silent for a long moment, looking who knows where while Asmo puts a hand on your forehead. You weren't sick at least.

" Did Beel eat yet? That scar-"

" Yet?! (Y/N), he's always eating! Hahaha, I'm so jealous of his metabolism~

What scar? He hasn't gotten hurt since the last time Dia sent us to scout the lower levels. I tell you, I might be 5th but those restless incubi have sharp nails and temper!"

He jokes. That's all he has ever done whenever you wake up from a memory. It's all he knows to do whenever you have such a vivid nightmare.

" I admit that Mammon looks as dashing as ever, although I have better taste of course. He went to go fetch Lucifer."

Oh, oh. He started sweating once he said that name. Your bulging eyes didn't help.

" No, wait. What I meant- (Y/N) it's fine, Lucifer would be in a worse mood if he wasn't there to comfort you!"

You grab his arms, quite painfully, begging him with your eyes to not tell Lucifer.

The guilt in them makes Asmo tremble.

Luckily someone unexpected was reading close by.

You were never as close to Satan as you were with the other brothers for obvious reasons. Yet he never minded your presence.

If anything you were a great reading buddy. Not too loud, not completely silent and a great listener.

He didn't need to know the details to help you whenever Asmo talked too much.

" Even I would panic at hearing that name. Did he find out about one of my pranks? Truly scary."

He says condescendingly (at Asmo) but also with a lilt of humorous sarcasm. He aproaches you, ignoring Asmo's tantrum and shows you the new book he picked up.

" Sorry Satan, I didn't mean to disturb your reading time!"

" Any time is reading time (Y/N), don't sweat about that. Have you heard the tale of King Midas? I think that Solomon had a hand in it if this book is to be believed…"

Any shady business done by the shady wizard is worth your immediate notice.

Fifteen minutes of gossiping about Solomon and what he might or might not have done pass before Lucifer pushes the doors open, the poor things weren't a match to his strength as they hit the walls so loud everyone except for Satan jumped on their sits.

" Lucifer! (Y/N) had another nightmare and I might have said too much-"

" Calm down Asmo, you are fine. Everything 's fine.

It's late, you better get your beauty sleep. I'll take it from here."

Asmo nods fervently, ruffling your hair as he gets up. You giggle at the gesture, Satan pats your leg before he also takes his leave.

" Do I also have to go? Doesn't The Great Mammon, deserve to help our miracle worker~?"

Mammon jokes. Lucifer doesn't take it kindly if his glare is anything to go by.

" I trust we both know why it's best if you go to bed too."

" Fine, sorry… welp, see you tomorrow (Y/N). We are still having that shopping trip, daddy needs some new specs~"

" Daddy doesn't look good on you Mammon. RIP your future significant other."

With a grumble he stomps away.

" Don't forget you still have a huge debt to Lord Diavolo!! I swear if he breaks another statue…"

Lucifer rubs the bridge of his nose before helping you sit up.

" Don't you prefer to go back to your room? Or talk in the study?"

" … Can we… talk in yours?"

Lucifer is caught off guard by your proposition but relents.

He clears any other doubts you might have about the state of the family while you walk down the corridors to his room.

" Belphie is still grieving, I don't think that will ever be fully healed. Levi is faring well, he sees her in Henry…both of them."

You laugh, the memory of the giant serpent who now inhabits the catacombs coming to mind.

" Satan couldn't be happier to have a friend who isn't as closely related to us or the war. Take it as you will, I guess."

" And you…sir?"

Lucifer pauses for a moment, solely the sound of his footsteps is heard.

You arrive at his lascivious bedroom and he locks the door behind.

" I enjoy my privacy so forgive me for locking you in."

You shake your head, shrugging your shoulders in indifference. At any other time it would feel quite intimate, possibly.

" I'm doing well as you can see."

" I'm worried about what I cannot see."

Once again Lucifer's eyes widen but he let's you speak.

" There's Satan, your new job, position…workload."

" I told you to stop worrying about my work ethic. I sleep enough."

… …

" Enough to take care of my family."

You smile, a little smug perhaps.

" You couldn't have done anything. Not because your blessings were stripped from you, at least some of them."

He adds remembering your state after the fall. You were for the most part healthy save for ripped bloody feathers, a bent arm and a bruised face.

" Simply, I wouldn't let you. I ripped them out of my sheer will, wings I didn't need anymore. You shouldn't be in the middle of a rebellion you aren't part of. You would have been happy with the others. No need for nightmares."

You fidget in place.

" You can't be so sure. I couldn't bear to see everyone I cared for hurt. Yet I was powerless for once. If not for the prince…

Is it my fault…?

Are you a slave of another because of me?!!"

Lucifer grabs a hold of your shoulders as you scratch as your scalp with both of your hands, helding your head in place.

He guides you to his bed, leaving to start a fire in the fireplace and returning with a handkerchief in hand to clear your tear stains.

" I'm no one's slave, (Y/N). You haven't stripped me of my most valued aspect. It's simply a different job in a different world under a different ruler. I take pride in my achievements here and my prowess the same way.

Stop blaming yourself. No one holds resentment towards you and no one wishes to go back, if we are to be quite honest.

The nice days are gone so we can have new days."

He holds both your hands.

" I told you I would drag you with me if you kept pushing your luck. You made the choice to be at our side. We are happy to have you."

He cleans the snot like one would do to a toddler, his thumb making circular motions on your hands still clasped in his gloved one.

" I can't make them stop Lucifer. The nightmares, Asmo's face- every time! I want them to stop. I don't want to disappoint anyone ever again… sometimes I wish I could disappear so this wouldn't happen again and again and again!"

Lucifer hugs you against his chest, taking deep breaths waiting for you to follow along.

" I'm only good at making people sad now."

" I know this won't help. It never goes away. But a reminder, (Y/N), that it was never your job to fix the already broken. Those who deny help won't get help and you never let anyone down. Even Belphie has a soft spot for you.

For we remember you as our guardian angel who still fusses over Levi's addiction to technology because he might hurt his eyes.

Who worries that Beel's stomach might burst someday, the one person who relents to having a self-care day with Asmo even when it's mostly him who gets the self-care.

The angel who takes responsibility for half of Mammon's debts, don't think I haven't noticed.

What you couldn't do back then, you do now.

Thank you for your sacrifice."

You burst into tears, hiding your face on his chest.

" I'm sorry…I'm so sorry, sir! But everyone is taking care of me when they should move on…I'm tired of being kept behind by my own mind!"

Lucifer ponders for a moment, checking your scalp for signs of self-inflicted injuries.

"Hmm. I also have my fair share of nightmares.

How about we help each other? Do you want to stay the night?

Like back in the day."

You nod your head. Lucifer lays you down, covering you under the sheets.

Before changing himself into anything comfortable he adds:

"Also, stop addressing me as sir."

" Sorry. Force of habit."

You say eyes looking as the flames dance beautifully. Back then seeing everyone naked as a baby wasn't as embarrassing as it is now. You sometimes wonder how much you, yourself changed.

Something brown and fluffy is put on your line of sight, moving up and down like a cartoon character.

" I couldn't find one like Mrs. White Feathers, the Dove. So I hope you like Cerberus Jr. as much."

You smile picking the three headed plushie.

" Thank you…Lucifer. I still miss Mrs. White Feathers."

Lucifer nods, thinking of mentioning it the next time he speaks with Michael. Or perhaps Raphael could retrieve it for him.

" Sweet dreams, angel."

___________ Notes! __________

*Pão de Deus > a portuguese crunchy and sweet bread usually topped with grated coconut. It's one of the delicacies baked by nuns back in the day where they would take offerings like eggs to help bake sweets for religious festivities or for themselves to have something different to eat (some nuns were previously noble women).

**Raphael > an archangel cited to be the patron saint of healing the sick and ill and the angel of all healthcare workers. The staff that he carried can be a nod to the caduceus, Hermes' own staff and symbol of health.