#my tua fic isn't abandoned

[mieczyhale]

i want to write a wesper fic really bad but i keep running into a mental wall when it comes to starting it. like i have some vague ideas in mind but nothing super concrete and no idea where to start

aahhhhhggfhuehckdn

[y2fandom]

Warming Up — Ben Hargreeves

→ Summary: You are convinced Ben hates you, Ben is convinced you hate him. Klaus is convinced you are both idiots.

→ Genre: Mutual pining! Idiots to lovers! Fluff! Humour! The whole circus is here

→ Warnings: A very small passing mention of murder

→ Word count: 6K

→ A/N: I genuinely think this is my longest fic and I don't regret a single thing.

English is not my first language and this is not beta-read, please let me know if there are any mistakes

tua masterlist l navigation l fandoms | buy me a kofi

The universe is based on absolute truths. Truths that no matter how many people deny them will always be. The earth is not flat. Water makes things wet. Ben Hargreeves is absolutely head over heels in love with you.

It isn't up to discussion, in any way. Anyone who denies any of these facts is immediately considered a fool by everyone around them.

And yet…

"Klaus, for the last time," you sigh, resisting the urge to run your hands through your hair for the millionth time in the afternoon, "Ben. Is. Not. In. Love. With. Me."

Surprisingly, instead of the singsonged 'yes he is' response you expect, Klaus only gives you the weirdest look. He looks like he has never seen someone so stupid in his entire life, and he sees himself in the mirror every day.

"Quit looking at me like that," you grumble, hiding behind the battered drink menu. You pretend to consider ordering a milkshake, muttering the flavors available.

"You really don't see it," Klaus states, an airy laugh following his observation. "You really think Ben hates you,"

You wince. Leave it to Klaus to rub salt to a very sensitive wound. "I don't want him to hate me but—"

"He doesn't!" He interjects.

In your exasperation, you drop the menu. "Then how do you explain how much he avoids me? The minute I look in his direction he leaves!"

"He's nervous!"

You scoff. Ben Hargrevees. Number Six of The Umbrella Academy. Number Six who fights bad guys on a daily basis. Ben Hargreeves with an intergalactic horror living inside of his stomach. Nervous of talking to you? As if.

"He is," Klaus emphasizes, like he can't think of a way to make you understand.

"Sure, okay," You roll your eyes, "prove it then."

"What?"

"Prove it." You say, shooting him what you hope is a determined glance, "Prove Ben likes me like you claim oh so confidently."

Klaus shifts in his seat. Ben is going to kill him.

"Fine," He nods and you don't pay much attention to the way your heart beats with renewed hope.

You know Ben doesn't even like you as a person, much less in a romantic way, but your traitorous heart doesn't care about the facts, it just flutters against your ribcage, fueled by the notion of Ben Hargreeves returning your affections.

The drinks menu feels soft under your touch as silence falls on your table and you allow yourself to wonder what it would be like to be sitting in front of Ben, instead of his brother. You wonder what flavor of milkshake he likes. You wonder if he would like to share one with you.

You have to shove the last piece of your abandoned donut into your mouth to stop the stream of thought. Klaus always says things, whether they are true or not is another issue. You can't let his words feed any sort of hope inside of you, lest it takes root and crushes your heart.

"Easy there or you might choke, Y/N," Klaus says.

You shoot him a glare that doesn't really do the job when you are very clearly still chewing what was at least a two-bite sized chunk of donut. He immediately laughs.

"Do you want another one?" He asks when your chewing comes to a stop.

You shake your head, "You have no money, I paid for the both of us,"

Klaus shrugs, "I am a well educated young man,"

You snort, "You murdered chivalry right outside of Griddy's and spit on its corpse."

Klaus smiles, "You know who can bring it back to life though?"

The groan you release is probably heard by everyone enjoying a nice donut dinner tonight but you don't care so much about it as you care for getting out of the booth before Klaus can joke about Ben being chivalrous.

You just can't hear about it. You know. God knows you know Ben Hargreeves is one of the most chivalrous guys out there. You can tell in the way he holds the door for older women or in the way he politely says thank you after everything a waitress does for him. You know and it makes your heart burn with ideas on how he will treat you on a first date. It's not fair.

You hop out of your seat like you can physically escape the intrusive daydreams. "I think I need to go."

Klaus visibly deflates and you feel a pang of guilt. You were probably Klaus's only non-drug-involved friend and the only person he could actually talk to and escape the mansion with, without having pills be involved.

He follows you outside of Griddy's, silently begging you and tugging at you to stay. You bite your lip, weighing down your options.

"I'm sorry, Klaus," you say, reaching for him, "my parents…"

Klaus gives you a small smile that looks slightly forced, his eyes already look far away. "It's okay, see you on Saturday?"

You nod, giving his arm a light squeeze. "Noon."

You remember the first time you saw the Hargreeves.

It was a normal Saturday for you. With your father off to some business trip, your mom and you had decided to go and get some donuts from your favorite place.

When you got to Griddy's they were already there. The first thing you noticed was that there was something odd about them. You couldn't really pinpoint it then but they stood out like a sore thumb. Maybe it was their clothing or that they seemed vaguely familiar or even that they looked way too giddy for a normal group of teenagers in a small donut shop.

You hadn't talked to them that time, you just watched as you tried to think of what drew you to them. When they noticed your gaze they lowered their voices and seemed uncomfortable so you decided no to bother them anymore and looked away. You didn't notice that a certain gaze lingered.

The second time you saw them you were on your own. You had taken on the duty of getting donuts and coffee for your family and you noticed them as you got there. You made a point of not staring and you stayed in the to-go queue.

You were getting your coffee when something hit you from behind and the coffee cup overflowed with the scalding liquid all over your hand. You hissed a curse as you turned around to find your assailant.

Honestly, you didn't know what you expected but one of the teens from the group was in front of you and he looked terrified.

"I'm–" he stuttered out, "I hit you, you were in the way—"

You frowned, turning to receive a wet towel Agnes was handing out to you. "Sorry," you muttered bitterly. He wasn’t the one with a third degree burn on the making but ok.

"I have to go." He announced before rapidly bolting to the door. The other four teenagers followed suit.

Agnes offered to refill your cup and you thanked the woman a million times, glad you wouldn't have to pay twice but deeply ashamed that she felt like she had to do that. It was that mysterious guy's fault and it annoyed you to no end that he hadn't even offered to pay for the damage.

It amuses you, in a way. You hadn't appreciated Ben back when you first met, and look at you now, harboring a secret crush for a guy who has barely spoken to you since you met.

Your opinion on Ben changed and he grew on you but it is clear it isn't like that for him. Instead, The Horror himself can barely stand you, and it hurts to know so.

A book flies through the air before hitting Klaus square in the chest and the next one comes swiftly a second later and lands on his head. (If anyone asked, Diego would totally deny altering the trajectory of any of the books, despite everyone knowing Ben has the worst aim out of all the umbrella members).

"Ow," Klaus laughs, falling silent when a hardcover hits him. "I take it you like the idea,"

If looks could kill, notes Diego, Klaus would be as dead as the apparitions he sees.

"Why can't you, for once, mind your own business?" Ben hisses, trying to keep the fight out of Reginald's earshot.

"I did you a favor!"

"I didn't ask for one." Ben facepalms and groans into his hands. "What am I supposed to do now, Klaus?"

"Chillax, it's not like you're gonna be all alone on a date."

Another book hits Klaus and it sends him tumbling to the floor.

"Right, thanks for that," Ben mutters sarcastically, "You just told her I have a giant embarrassing crush on her."

"It was a jerk move." Diego says, looking over his book.

Klaus clicks his tongue. "I told her you don't hate her."

"And now I'm supposed to talk to her."

Klaus shrugs. "Easy peasy, right?"

Ben looks just about one dumb-Klaus-comment away from choking him to death, and Diego has no intention of stopping him from doing so.

"I physically can't talk to her, you idiot!"

Klaus seems to think about that little fact for a second before he dissolves into giggles. "Oh right! Cause you aren't a man!"

Ben lunges at Klaus, and though the ambient noise isn't ideal, Diego keeps reading.

Ben remembers the first time he saw you. It was one of the few times he had actually decided to join his siblings in their escapades to the donut shop.

To be honest, Ben wasn't having the greatest time out with his siblings. When you live with a group of people there's hardly any story they could tell that would entertain you and even if he was enraptured by the outside world, the curious side glances his group received tainted that wonder and made him hyper-aware of how much they stood out.

As the conversation on the table continued, Ben silently people watched. He kept wondering about the lives of normal people, people unburdened by the weight of saving the world on a daily basis.

The ring of the bell above the entrance snapped him out of his thoughts and his gaze went back to the glass door.

Ben felt like someone kicked him in the stomach. All thought of breathing was forgotten as he watched you walk into the building, it suddenly felt like it was only you in the whole place and Ben didn't mind giving you his whole attention.

And then your gaze flitted over to him. Ben looked away and scrambled to appear busy in any way. He took a discarded menu and pretended to read it. The weight of your gaze made his face burn and his siblings were being so loud he wanted the earth to swallow him whole.

"Someone is watching us," he said in between clenched teeth, "you're acting weird, we will get recognized."

The comment had the desired effect and an uncomfortable silence set in. Some of his siblings pretended they didn't notice they were being watched, the others were trying to look for whoever Ben was talking about.

After a few minutes of Ben containing his breath the bell rang again and you were gone. He longingly looked at your figure until you were no longer in his range of sight, and unbeknownst to him, he sighed when he couldn't see you.

Of course, his demon brother; Klaus, immediately picked up on the small gesture and he took the opportunity to tease Ben in stride. "Ohh, it looks like Ben has a crush!"

"Shut up. " Ben muttered, trying to shrink in his place and avoid the prying eyes of his siblings.

"He really does." Diego pointed out, his tone making it clear that he found the situation amusing.

"You don't even know her," Allison said.

"I just think she's pretty," Ben defended himself weakly.

"Ben, you know we can't date." Luther chastised and Ben wanted to bang his head against the table.

"Yes, I know," he said, "It's not like I'll ever see her again."

Ben didn't know at the time that his words that day would become complete and absolute lies. He also didn't know that he would actively try to make them lies, as he did when the next week he was the first to agree to go for donuts when usually he was the last one to do so.

He didn't want to admit to himself that he was only going because of you. He fooled himself into thinking he had liked the last donut flavor he got (though he couldn't even remember what it was) and when he told the other's his flimsy excuse it was obvious none of them actually believed it. It wasn't like it mattered though, Luther couldn't stop him from going out because he wanted to see a girl from afar. Who was he going to tell? They were already breaking the rule of not leaving the academy grounds.

Honestly speaking, Ben wasn't hopeful. He knew the chances of seeing you again were slim to none but the smallest speck of hope moved him and added a noticeable perk to his posture. His enthusiasm grew with every step they took in the direction of the donut shop and this rare outward indication of how Ben was feeling had the cogs in Klaus's brain turning.

"Ben, truth or dare?" Klaus asked as soon as Griddy's came into view.

Ben gave him a confused look, and then he looked away.

"Ben, truth or dare?"

Ben squinted at him, trying to read what he was planning. Tentatively, he said, "Dare."

Klaus was… dumb when he put his mind to it; but he wasn't dumb enough that he would dare Ben to do anything that would blow their covers. Ben didn't mind eating some dirt or ringing a doorbell and bolting if he got to have a good time with his siblings. He knew Klaus couldn't possibly dare him to do anything too bad.

"If the girl you liked is there for some reason, you have to talk to her."

Ben went back over his thoughts and crossed all of them out. He had been a naive little boy who foolishly expected anything close to being a nice human being from his brother, the raccoon man.

"No way," Ben expected the words to come out of his own mouth, instead the words came from Luther.

Ben felt a pinprick of annoyance, a reaction that seemed irrational given how he agreed with the sentiment. But he was used to reacting that way, a knee-jerk reaction stemming from years of being pitted against each other and made to listen to one of your siblings. A perfect recipe for jealousy, envy, and annoyance.

Ben envied Luther. He was very clearly in love with Allison and it seemed that she felt the same. Even if none of them did anything about it, it still felt like Luther had an advantage in the love department. The no interacting with normal people, and therefore not dating them didn't affect Luther in any way, so it was easy for him to enforce it.

"C'mon Luther!" Klaus protested, "She might not even show up!"

"But she might."

"He is just gonna say hi!" Klaus said, then he looked at the others, "It's all in good fun, right guys?"

He was met with silence, but no one joined Luther either.

"We can't talk to normal people."

"He won't say anything weird! Just a simple hi!"

Silence. Then, "Fine."

Ben jolted. "What?"

"Fine," Luther repeated, "She won't recognize you without the domino mask and you won't give us away."

Ben considered running, and he wondered if his siblings would follow him. He knew for a fact Klaus would and he would rather not make a scene. He took solace in the fact that you might not show up.

The visit to the restaurant went on. They ordered and ate without a sign of you anywhere. Ben was equally disappointed and relieved that you hadn't shown up.

The bell on top of the door rang.

Ben immediately looked at the door, a nervous reflex he'd been exercising through the whole visit. Immediately he felt himself blushing. Impossibly, you looked prettier than the last time he saw you. He knew he couldn't speak to you, not while he was going into cardiac arrest by simply looking at you from afar.

Ben forced his eyes to look at the plate in front of him and his jaw to close. He counted the crumbs on his plate and the seconds until anyone noticed you, pretending to be doing literally anything else.

Ben knew his time was up when he heard cutlery clanking in Klaus's general direction. He pressed his eyes closed and vehemently swore on the inside.

"She's here!" Klaus exclaimed way too loudly and it made Ben cringe. "She showed up!"

Ben sighed, he had partially hoped his siblings cared so little they wouldn't recognize you, but he should've known better, after all, you weren't someone people could just forget.

"You have to talk to her!"

Ben shook his head, "No, I don't want to."

"It was a dare you can't say no!"

Ben looked at Allison, a hundred pleads in his eyes. "Allison, make Klaus forget about the dare, please."

"I can't," she said, but she meant I don't want to, and though Ben knew she wasn't obligated to do anything he was desperate.

For the second time in the day, Ben considered running away.

"I need to go to the bathroom."

Now, if he hadn't been in such a panic to be literally anywhere else he probably would've thought of a better excuse, an excuse that didn't involve getting close to the counter –where you were– to ask Agnes for the customer bathroom key.

He would've thought of an excuse that didn't make it easier for his brother to shove him right into your arms (figuratively speaking anyway). Ben didn't hit you hard, so it seemed like an accident but it was just enough that he made you spill coffee.

Ben's head was reeling. You were so close and so pretty and oh god. But also, he made you spill coffee all over yourself oh no oh no. His head swirled, trying to find a coherent train of thought to grab onto. All the blood flow was going to his face and somehow he managed to feel lightheaded.

He heard you whisper something akin to a curse and suddenly the anxiety train took over his whole head. He was sure he'd made you angry and the idea terrified him. He wanted to apologize, he wanted you to know he was truly sorry.

"I'm—" Ben thought of justifying what had happened and then he thought against it, nevertheless the words still left his mouth. "I hit you, you were in the way—"

"Sorry," it was impossible to deny it then, you were mad. Ben cursed internally, his whole body shutting down, there was only one option left:

Running away.

"I have to go." He blurted out and before he even noticed he was outside Griddy's but he didn't stop there for a second, instead, he kept running until his lungs burned the same way his face did, Ben tried to ignore the sting in his eyes but that didn't stop the hot tears from running. He made a frustrated sound and wiped them away before his siblings caught up to him.

Ben sulked all the way home, cursing himself over ruining the first and most likely only impression you would ever have of him.

That day he hadn't expected anything that later happened, like Klaus finding you a third time or him befriending you. To this day Ben feels like you hate him because of the coffee incident, and he doesn't blame you either, he just wishes he could go back and handle it better.

You shift in your seat, trying to find a sitting position where you don't feel like you look dumb. You shift again, and this time you also glance at the clock over the door. 12:01.

They are not late, you tell yourself because they are not, you are just nervous and excited because for the first time since you befriended Klaus you're going to be able to exchange more than two words with Ben Hargreeves. Your crush. You feel lightheaded, willing time to either move faster or to stop completely.

It's almost embarrassing how fast you whip your head towards the door once you hear the chime of the bell overhead. It's almost embarrassing how easily all blood flow goes to your cheeks at the sight of Ben Hargreeves.

You suppress the urge to spring from your seat and go meet them at the entrance like some sort of 70s hostess. Instead, you press your fists to the plush seat and wait for them to find you and come to the seat.

You feel the seat dip by your side and it's almost embarrassing how you expect it to be Ben as if he hasn't made it entirely clear since you met him that he wants as much space between you and him as politely possible. You're sure he would move to the moon if it was possible, just to put distance between you.

Two arms are around you before you even have time to process who it is that is hugging you. You give Klaus a puzzled look while you return the hug, while he is your most touchy friend, hugs as a greeting are rare and entirely not a thing your friendship has a lot of.

Klaus shrugs when the hug is done and you recognize the entirely too familiar mischievous glint in his eyes. You squint at him but it only makes a smile break on his face.

You look away from your friend to pay more attention to his siblings. They are all already looking at you and suddenly you feel like you are under some sort of spotlight.

"It's nice to see you Y/N," You hear Allison say and it does wonders to soothe your anxiety.

"Hi Allison," you give her a weak smile.

"Hi Y/N."

You startle at the voice. Was that..? You look up and find Ben already looking at you and he is smiling. Your cheeks burn and you barely manage to squeak a greeting out.

"I can get us donuts!" You suggest once you've said hi to everyone. You know that despite having a millionaire as a father The Hargreeves kids rarely carry any money with them but you don't mind, it feels nice to be able to do something for them, a way to thank them for saving the city on a daily basis if you will.

"Do you need help?"

Again, you startle slightly at Ben's voice. These are probably the most words he's ever directed at you and it makes you feel better than you care to admit. Your heart aches at his chivalry and even though, realistically, you can manage just fine bringing back six donuts you still nod.

"Sure!" You confirm, "Does everyone know what they want?"

The Hargreeves tell you their orders and you split the memorization with Ben. He takes Luther's and Allison's while you take Klaus's and Diego's.

The silence settles between you and Ben as soon as you are done ordering and are waiting for your orders. You sway on your heels and toes awkwardly.

"I don't hate you, you know?"

You look at Ben, hoping you don't look as bewildered as you feel.

"Klaus told me you think I hate you."

Blood runs to your cheeks and you are reminded why you have never told Klaus how you feel about Ben. You would most certainly die if Ben knew you might be into him like that.

"I don't hate you."

"Oh." It's not exactly the most carefully formulated answer but it's the only one you can come up with. "I thought you did because… because you are always avoiding me."

Ben winces but you don't notice. "I, uh, I actually thought you hated me."

You choke, just a little bit. "What?"

Ben flushes under your gaze and the environment makes it all too easy to remember the reason. He's pretty sure you're standing in the same spot as when the accident happened.

"When we first met…" He says and he sees the realization dawn on your face. "I didn't make the best first impression."

You chuckle, moving any hair away from your face. How can you tell him that he's right? That you didn't exactly like him that first time?

Instead of being completely honest, you settle for: "I don't hate you."

Ben smiles. Genuinely smiles and it makes your heart stutter. You decide that you'll do whatever is needed to make him smile like that again.

Agnes places your orders in front of you once the conversation halts and you have a creeping realization that she usually doesn't take as long to serve you, even when you order from the secret menu. Her smug smile only confirms your thoughts.

Once you return to the table with the others it's almost like you've been friends with all of them for ages and you fall in easy conversation with them. Sometimes they ask you questions on what a normal life is like and you ask them to confirm what Klaus had shared before with you; the training, the silent meals, and all. It saddens you to know Klaus wasn't exaggerating for the most part and silently you decide that you're going to try and make them live a little bit more outside the mansion.

Despite everyone practically fighting for your attention for the first few minutes, once the one-hour mark has gone by your conversation is mostly with Ben and it amazes you how comfortable he makes you, despite the ever-present burning in your cheeks he causes.

Slowly, Griddy's is left with less and less of the Hargreeves as they bid their farewell before Sir Reginald Hargreeves notices their absence.

"So, are you two love birds done?" Klaus interrupts, he is looking intently at both of you and it makes you self-conscious about how much you've been talking to Ben.

Ben shoves Klaus and says something under his breath that you can't quite catch but he looks awfully flustered and you remember how much Klaus insisted that Ben liked you.

For the first time since you met Ben, you allow yourself to hope.

"Are you jealous Klaus?" You tease and Klaus outright laughs.

"Of what?"

"Your brother just stole your best friend."

He makes a face, "You are not my best friend."

You gasp, offended. "Excuse me?"

Klaus cackles and you fall on easy banter with him, almost like its second nature for you to shoot snarky comments back and forth with him. Not for the first time, Ben feels a twinge of jealousy for Klaus.

Ben figures this is the part where he leaves.

"I should head back or I'll be dead," he says and it takes all of his energy to pretend nonchalance. "It was nice talking with you Y/N."

You startle and hope you don't look as desperate as you feel. You are not ready for this (whatever this is) to end and so you shoot out of your seat almost immediately.

"I can walk with you guys, I don't have anything to do today, anyway."

Liar, your internal voice answers and you make a point of ignoring it. So what if you have homework for Monday and a packed Sunday? Surely your English teacher would understand you wanting to spend time with Ben Hargreeves himself.

Klaus looks at you incredulously because you never offer to walk with him, in fact, whenever he wants you to do so he has to insist and do a lot of dragging. You pretend you don't notice him boring holes in the side of your head.

Ben smiles again and the blocks of extra walking don't matter because the world is always right if Ben is smiling. "Sure, that'd be cool."

Klaus guffaws but he is still trying to figure out where this sudden interest for Ben is coming from so he agrees. He purposely walks behind you both, which gives him a front-row seat to a lot of stolen glances. Finding out you like Ben as much as Ben likes you is not as surprising as he expects it to be, maybe deep down he already knew it was like that.

Climbing the fire escape is already muscle memory for Klaus and he waves you goodbye in favor of maintaining his cover. He makes kissy faces at Ben, who promptly flips him off.

"Don't you have to go..?" You ask, your voice softer than intended. Being so close to the mansion feels dangerous and thrilling.

"Klaus has to go first," Ben explains and he feels impossibly close even if he hasn't moved.

"About the book you told me about…"

"I can lend it to you." He offers and it implies seeing him again.

You nod.

Ben hesitates, "Are you busy tonight?"

You are. You have a whole English essay to write on top of all your other homework. You shake your head.

"Meet me in the fire escape after sunset and I'll give it to you..?" He says, but it sounds more like a question.

You nod, a smile threatening to appear on your face. "See you, Ben."

It's cold.

That's the first thing you notice. The sun has been gone for less than an hour but the chill still bites at your skin and leaves goosebumps behind. You consider going back and getting a coat but decide against it, you don’t want to make Ben wait, he is already being excessively kind by sneaking from his house to lend you a book.

Now, with the wind hitting your face you feel ashamed of having brought the topic up, only to have an excuse to see him again, no less. It’s not like you can back out now, so you keep treading towards the mansion, finding comfort that maybe Ben wanted to see you too, after all, he’d suggested seeing each other instead of just letting Klaus give you the book.

Ben is sitting on the window sill when you get there and the warmth that explodes on your chest at the sight of him makes you forget the cold. Ben looks worried when you meet him in the fire escape and you worry that maybe you got him in trouble.

“Are you okay?” he asks, and you smile at how he stole the words from you. You tilt your head when the question sets in. Ben thinks you look way too cute to be real.

“I am,” you say, confused, “Why?”

Ben points at your face. “You’re flushed, are you cold?”

You feel the heat in your face increase and you panic. You had been blushing and hadn’t even noticed. You nod and then shake your head.

“I’m- “ your voice breaks and you know you are positively red, “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Ben looks unconvinced but he doesn’t press any further. He holds a book towards you and you relish the seconds your fingers brush his to accept the paperback.

“Thanks,” you whisper and you know you have to go, you know it’s late and he probably has training tomorrow morning but, “Ben?”

He looks startled but he gives you his complete attention. You wish he didn’t.

“Um, Klaus said,” your voice feels small but you can tell he is listening. You don’t meet his eyes. “Klaus said you have a crush on me, is that true..?”

Panic flares inside of Ben. A million emotions run through him. Anger, at Klaus. Embarrassment. Fear. Hope. He squashes the last one, you were probably looking for the best way to reject him.

He considers lying. He considers telling you that no, he doesn’t like you. That he doesn’t think you look adorable with your cold-flushed cheeks. That he doesn't think about wrapping you in a hug every time you shiver and that he doesn't want to kiss you every time you make eye contact.

But he can't. He is weak for you and lying to you, betraying your trust, it's unfathomable. Ben wouldn't do that, not to you.

Ben looks away, past your figure and into the darkening alley. He nods, though the movement is barely noticeable.

"It is." His voice sounds small, even to him. He hopes you didn't listen but your head snaps to look at him almost immediately. There's something in your eyes, though he can't really tell what it is.

You open your mouth to say something and then close it again. It's almost impossible to hide the smile on your face but Ben is not looking at you. "You do?"

He looks at you, confused. You aren't rejecting him and it takes him aback. You can't possibly like him back. But he looks at you and you are smiling so brightly. Unless you find some sort of sick pleasure in rejecting people, he is pretty sure you are not about to reject him. His heart skips a beat.

"Why..?"

"Oh, um…" You look away. "Just wanted to be sure…"

Ben feels the hope falter.

"Since I like you too…"

Taken aback, Ben studies you. You like him? Despite searching he can't find a single hint of malice or deception in your face. Relief washes over him and everything comes into sharper focus. He is hyper-aware of everything around him. The cold wind hitting his face. The freezing metal rail on his hand. How close you are to him, less than a foot away.

"Can I..?" he says, "Can I kiss you?"

Your eyes widen at that but it takes you less than a second to process his request and nod eagerly.

Ben steps closer to you. His steps on the metal are loud on the dead silence of the alley, to Ben nothing is louder than the blood rushing through his ears.

"Is this okay?" He murmurs and you're so close you can feel his warm breath in your face.

You nod, looking at him with big eyes.

His hand finds your face and you lean into his cool touch. You close your eyes and sigh.

The soft feeling of Ben's lips on yours startles you and before you can properly kiss him back he is already pulling away. You swallow the disappointment and doubts start to claw at you. Has he changed his mind? Were you so unkissable he lost all his feelings for you?

You look at him and the doubts go away faster than they came. He is smiling and red and he hasn't pulled away from you.

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss him. Just a peck. He kisses you again. The whole situation has your head turning and you almost feel feverish from the small pecks Ben gives you and you give him.

You don't notice you're giggling until you can no longer kiss him. "I can't believe you like me."

His other hand cups your face and he looks adoringly at you. "How could I not?"

You duck your head, feeling the blood rushing back to your face. "Stop."

Ben's forehead presses against yours and you sigh in content. "It's actually a relief that you like me back."

You try looking at him without breaking any contact. "How could I not?"

He laughs and you feel positively delirious. Any weight in your chest is gone the second he laughs.

You stay like that for who knows how much, just breathing in the other. You wish you didn't have to go home, you wish you could stay like this forever. And though you know you have to leave at some point, it doesn’t matter when on a cold night, Ben provides you all the warmth you need.