#my thought start with 'does that mean they gonna [redacted] her name on all future heathcliff id or

[little-lanterns]

.......... i just realized now why there is no single mention of cathy (or someone with same role) in linton gregor id story

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

I’ll Take X-pecting for 200, Alex

Summary: Dr. Spencer Reid plays a trivia game at the request of his wife, Y/N, but he’s in for more than some heaving hitting questions. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Wife Reader 

Word Count: 1.5k 

Author’s Note: I really don’t think that this summary does this justice

I’ll Take X-pecting for 200, Alex 

Shuffling the cards with a shake in her hand, Y/N tells herself to just breathe. This is something that Spencer and her have been looking forward to, dreamed about, and constantly discussed. Regardless of how much she knows Spencer loves her, there’s a lingering seed of doubt that only grows with the sound of Spencer walking into their house. 

“Y/N!, I’m home, darlin’,” Spencer calls from the hallway, dropping the “g” because he knows that Y/N finds it endearing. 

“Baby,” Y/N yells from the table. “I’m in the dining room. I made us a trivia game! Come play with me, I need your brains,” she finishes, smiling at her husband, who has been away for nearly two weeks.

“You know do I love trivia, Y/N,” Spencer says. He takes a seat next to his wife, but before he can kiss her, she pushes him out of his chair and motions for him to take the seat opposite of her.

“Before we start, how was the case? Everyone make it home in one piece?” Y/N asks concerned over the wellbeing of some of her closest friends. 

“Everyone’s fine, Y/N. The unsub ended up being a team. Two women hellbent on getting revenge for their children’s murders. One of them got away,” Spencer explains, solemnly. 

“Oof,” Y/N says, letting out a sigh. “It’s at times like these that I’m glad I don’t have your job. I’m kinda glad she got away, between you and me.” 

“It’s hard, sometimes we don’t really know who we’re bringing justice too. But, I’d do anything to protect my future children, and you. Anything I needed to do to keep you safe,” Spencer tells her, leaning across the table and kissing Y/N’s hand. She gives him a sheepish smile, but inside her mind is eager to get this trivia game started. 

“You’re a charmer, Dr. Reid,” Y/N flirts. 

“Just for you, Y/N. Now you mentioned something about trivia,” Spencer says, clapping his hands together excitedly. 

“I just thought you’d like to rest your brain after a case but shifting though all those facts you got stored up there. And I always said you should try out for Jeopardy,” Y/N says as she collects the cards with the clues. 

She spreads out the categories, Child Psychology, Children’s Books, Labor & Delivery, Nursery Rhymes, X-Epecting, on the table. They were all handwritten on different colorful pieces of cardstock and decorated with baby animals and block letters. Y/N read the categories aloud to her husband, allowing herself to steal a glance at his face while he concentrated on the categories, as if he already could answer the questions. 

“All right, Spencer, you pick first,” Y/N says, in her best Alex Trebek impression. 

“I’ll take Child Psychology for $200,” Spencer chooses, looking up to smile at Y/N. 

“This is the substitute mother that baby monkeys formed an attachment to in Harlow’s psychological experiment,” Y/N asks.

“Terry-Cloth,” Spencer interjects. 

“Not uh, Spence, you need to answer correctly,” Y/N teases. She looks up at him expectantly to choose the next clue. He rolls his eyes at her, but secretly he enjoys the playful banter they still share even after all these years. 

“Um, Children’s Books $200,” 

“This is the story of the clever spider that can weave words in her web,” 

“What is Charlotte’s Web?” 

“Correct, pick again please,” Y/N says, as she tries to maintain a stoic composure. 

“This is the average of days that newborns keep up their sleepless parents,” Y/N asks, sure that this question would stump her genius husband. But to no avail, Spencer answers the question correctly. 

“Okay! Next time try-outs are around, I’m forcing you to take the test,” Y/N says running over to kiss Spencer on the cheek. 

“You know judges are supposed to remain impartial, Y/N” Spencer tells her, putting his arm around her waist as if he’s signally her to sit in his lap. 

“I can’t help it, how about you win kisses every time you get a question right, Spence,” Y/N proposes. 

“I guess it’s worth more than fake money,” Spencer teases.

“You offend me, baby!” Y/N pretends to be hurt by Spencer’s words, but urges him to continue the game. 

“You only got a couple more left, Spence,” 

“Okay, how about X-Expecting for $200,” Spencer chooses. 

“This chromosome is linked to the baby’s mother,” Y/N quizzes, finding it difficult to keep her smiles and secrets at bay when Spencer’s arm tugs around her waist tightly and his fingers draw patterns under her shirt. 

“What is X-Chromosome,” Spencer answers before Y/N can even finish the clue. 

“You know that you’re supposed to wait until the clue is read, Spence. I should redact kisses,” Y/N fake threats. 

“No! Y/N I’ll die without your kisses, please!” Spencer cries out in pretend disain. Much to his amusement his goofy behavior leads Y/N to plant small pecks on his forehead. 

“There, that should hold you over,” 

“I doubt it, Y/N. I miss you already,” Spencer mutters into her shoulder, as if he’s trying to get closer to his wife more than he could already be with her sitting on his lap. 

“Two more clues till Final Jeopardy,” Y/N announces, ignoring the fact that she’s bypassing the rest of the clues and totally disregarding Double Jeopardy. 

“Hmm, let’s go to Nursery Rhymes for kissing for the rest of my life,” Spencer picks, peppering Y/N’s shoulder with kisses. 

“Huh! Look at that, Spencer, you got the Daily Double, so whatcha going to wager?” Y/N asks, knowing she’s pulling this Daily Double straight out of the air, but Spencer’s affection for only one lifetime is not nearly enough for her. 

“I’ll make a true Daily Double, darling. That means double the amount of kisses,” Spencer tells her, ticking the sides of Y/N waist. 

“Here’s your clue, Jack is urged to be nimble & quick, helping him do this,” Y/N reads from the card. 

“What is to jump over the candlestick?” Spencer guesses, closing his eyes to be assaulted by Y/N’s eager lips. 

“Yay! Double kisses!” Y/N yells happily as she pecks Spencer’s eyelids and nose, causing him to laugh at her light affection. 

“Next question, it’s the last one so you don’t get a choice, but I have so much confidence in you, my genius husband. These are the names of the 3 stages of labor?” Y/N questions, looking over her shoulder to get a glimpse of Spencer’s mind at work. 

“What are dilation, expulsion, and afterbirth,” Spencer answers, once again perfectly. 

“Okay, Dr. Reid you’ve accumulated a total of double kisses for the rest of our lives. Your Final Jeopardy category is, Ready For It…” Y/N announces. 

“Last one,” Spencer says, and Y/N wonders if Spencer’s figured it out by now. She hands Spencer the small cardboard box. He looks at it curiously and Y/N can feel her heart in her stomach. He must know by now, she thinks. He’s brilliant, but sometimes he can be a little clueless when it comes to things like that. Y/N thinks back to how they danced around each other for years before Derek practically had to force them out on a date. He must know. 

“You’re clue is inside the box, Spence,” Y/N tells him, her voice shaky and unsure. 

Spencer carefully opens the cardboard box and reaches in to pull out the small pregnancy test that lay hidden inside. He looks it over, reading the test twice, three times, maybe even four times. He honestly can’t remember taking longer to read something. Spencer looks up at a terrified Y/N. 

“You’re pregnant? We’re going to have a baby?” Spencer asks, desperately wanting to believe what he holds in his hand. 

“You’re gonna be a daddy, Spence,” Y/N tells him, her smile struggling to conceal itself in between the bouts of happiness and joy that courses through her veins. 

“A baby! Oh Y/N. A baby!” Spencer shouts rushing over to where his wife stands in between the entrance from their kitchen to their dining room. 

“You’re happy, right Spence. You want this with me-” Y/N starts, a sudden rush of fear lodging itself in her heart. 

“Of course I’m happy, Y/N. I’m so happy to be a dad. You’re going to be a mom! You’ll be the best mom, Y/N. I love you, Y/N,” Spencer says, crouching down to rub his hands on Y/N’s belly. 

“Hi sweet baby,” Y/N says softly, looking down at her belly and covering her hand over Spencer’s. “I want you to meet your daddy. He’s going to take care of you so well, he might talk a lot but you get used to it” 

“Hey, baby. It’s your dad,” Spencer murmurs quietly into Y/N’s belly. “I’m so glad that mommy told me about you. You gotta do some growing in there before you can meet us, but we love you so much, baby,”

“I really love you so much Y/N,” Spencer says as he sits up to kiss his wife. 

All his life Spencer’s loved science. He loves discovering the undiscovered. Memorizing all those theories and facts and methods could never prepare him for the awe that sat before him. He realizes that he’s looked at science all wrong. There's a beauty in science- a natural, unadulterated beauty that’s so rare to find. But he’s found it and he’s never letting go.

Thank You for Reading!

Taglist: @calm-and-doctor​ 

If anyone wants to be tagged in new posts, feel free to comment and I’ll be thrilled to tag you <3

[mrsamaroevans]

The Devil

Fandom: Mayans M.C.

Pairing: Miguel Galindo x Reader.

Request: Can you do 52 and 64 from the Six prompt list with reader finding out about Miguel's ruthlessness, why he's called the devil etc and having trouble accepting it —Anonymous.

Words: 1,282.

Warnings: None.

A/N: So, I added two prompts because I thought they fit with this storyline! English is not my first language, so, sorry if there are grammar mistakes or if the redaction is poor. *Gif is not mine*

|| MY MASTERLIST ||

|| PROMPTS LISTS TO REQUESTS ||

“Good evening, miss, you want some wine while you wait?”

You looked up to the waiter and saw a familiar face in the man attending you. He opened his mouth and both of you said their names at the same time and then, started to laugh.

“How you’ve been?” You asked the brother of your best friend from high school you didn’t keep in touch with.

“I’ve been fine,” he said, nodding “And you… I see you’re fine”

“Most of the time, yeah” you smiled as he poured red wine in your glass “How’s Becky?”

“Well, she has her moments” Hugo shrugged and stood there in front of you just looking at you differently as if he was disappointed to see you there.

“What?” You asked and a small laugh escaped from your lips.

“Nothing, I just… I never thought you would be the kind of woman who dates the kind of man Galindo is” he said and when he was about to turn around, you said as you frowned:

“What do you mean with that?”

“Oh, I get it” he nodded and smiled “He’s undercover tonight”

“What? No!” you laughed and shook your head “Everyone knows Miguel Galindo; it’s not a secret,” you said but he didn’t add anything about what he said before.

The kind of man Galindo is?

“You meant you never thought I would date a drugs dealer?” You asked, grabbing your glass and drinking a sip.

He chuckled “(Y/n), we both know he’s more than just a drugs dealer, I mean, not for nothing he’s known as the devil”

You frowned again. You have never heard that nickname before, let alone towards Miguel. The people who knew that you and Miguel were dating, never talked about it and whenever you mention his name, they never say something like that. Your friends and family just tried to ignore he was the leader of the Galindo Cartel.

“That’s ridiculous, where did you hear that?” You asked, chuckling.

“C’mon, that’s the way everyone knows him even in Mexico, it’s not a secret,” he said, not understanding how you could deny it when two whole countries knew that information “You know? For all that he does”

“All that he does?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, (Y/n), please you’re not trying to make me forget all the murders he has ordered; men, kids, women…” he listed and suddenly, you were feeling a bit dizzy and it wasn’t for the wine “Everyone knows that if you get into his church pew, you don’t go out alive” he added, shrugging and half-smiling “Here he comes, it was nice to see you again”

Hugo’s words got stick in your head and it didn’t matter how much you tried to recover to receive your date. It was like his words were stick in your head like the stickiest glue.

“Mi amor, I’m sorry for making you wait,” Miguel said, touching your shoulder and making you go back to the real world and when you tried to stand, he added: “Don’t stand, it’s fine,” he said, leaning to you to kiss your lips “You look beautiful tonight, like always”

You gave him your best smile and proceeded to have dinner. Hugo never came to your table again.

Even though you tried your hardest to stay focus in Miguel and your date, sometimes you lost the thread of the conversation and when you thought Miguel didn’t notice it, once they drove you to your apartment, he told you he did.

“Are you okay?” He asked once you were in front of your door, you looked at him and he interrupted you when you were about to nod “Mi amor, I know you… what’s bothering you?” He asked, looking significantly concerned.

You smiled and shook your head, trying to forget the words of Hugo “It’s nothing too important” you said with your hand on his cheek.

“I know you’re lying,” Miguel said, looking straight into your eyes “Just… tell me what you need for you to not be like this”

“I’m fine, stop worrying” you chuckled and got close to him to kiss his lips.

Miguel’s hand went to the back of your head and deepened the kiss making you smile.

How could he be all that Hugo said?

“You know I love you in every single way, right?” he asked before pressing his lips against yours for a second. You nodded and smiled at him.

“Yeah, you always make sure that I know that, and I love you for that”

That night, you did what you never had done before. You talked to your closest friend and asked her to tell you everything she knew about Miguel and she told you hundreds of things you had never heard.

You did a research on Google and found lots of stuff you didn’t want to know but your eyes kept reading until the sun came up again.

Every time Miguel sent you a text, you ignored it, every time he called you, you ignored it again. You ignored all the ways he was trying to contact you with like you wanted to ignore everything that you read, everything that you heard.

The thing that caused you more conflict between your heart and your brain was that it didn’t matter all that you knew about him, you couldn’t stop loving him.

You loved Miguel, you truly loved him but you couldn’t ignore all that he does, you couldn’t do it anymore.

But you loved him. You loved him anyway.

“Hola, mi amor”

You jumped when you heard Miguel’s voice in your living room that night you came home from work. He turned a lamp on and you saw him, sitting in the individual armchair.

“Miguel… what are you doing here?” You asked, feeling your heart beating so fast “I told you I had a lot of work…”

“I know” he stood up and walked a few steps in your direction “And, also I know what’s bothering you”

You hadn’t cried. You didn’t cry not even once in all the investigation you did but, at that moment, having him in front of you and feeling all the love you couldn't throw away not even knowing there are people outside that calls him The Devil, at that moment you cried, ignoring how he could have known it.

Miguel didn’t hug you, he didn’t know if you were okay with that, so he gave you space.

“I’m sorry,” you said, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand and leaving your purse in a chair “Uh… I…”

“I understand” he nodded and gave another step towards you “You don’t have to spend the rest of your life ignoring it…”

The rest of your life.

Miguel was picturing his future with you and when he said those words, you tried to picture your life without him, but you couldn’t.

You didn’t want to.

“No, no, no… shut up” you shook your head and put your hand on his chest.

You looked him in the eyes and it broke your heart to see he was holding back tears, you sighed.

“It’s hard… it’s hard to believe all those things when you’re so sweet with me. You’re the best man I have ever been with and I love you, don’t doubt it” You started “It’s gonna take me some time to accept it, but, I don’t want to spend a single day without you… and no matter what I heard, or read… you have to know that I’ll never leave… ‘cause I love you in every single way” you repeated his words and both of you smiled "I love you, Miguel, I truly do"

|| MY MASTERLIST ||

|| PROMPTS LISTS TO REQUESTS ||

[serendipitous-magic]

Question Game - AKA Oversharing Hour

I was tagged by @the-angry-pixie​! And I’m a chronic oversharer, so this was fun. I’ll put most of it under a read more line because there’s a LOT.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? 

Black. Dunno why.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? 

City city city city city city city city. I’m already going fucking batshit as it is, trapped in suburbia. I want to be able to actually do things, anything. Anything other than just being around the house and / or work. (And I felt like this before the pandemic started.) If you live in the city you can walk out your door and be somewhere else within like 5 minutes. A city park, a cafe, a train/subway, a local attraction, a museum, an artist’s booth, an outdoor market, etc. etc. 

Living in suburbia is like, well, to go literally anywhere you have to get into your car first and drive like 10 minutes minimum to get out of the neighborhood, and then if you want to go anywhere that’s not the grocery store you have to drive 20 minutes to get to another area of town, and then once you get there that’s the only place you can be without getting into your car again and getting a nice shot of anxiety from having to drive in traffic and have aggressive drivers roar up on your ass because you’re going 5mph above the speed limit and they want to be going 15mph above, and god help you if you have to merge, and oh by the way this is your only option to get around because public transit doesn’t really exist in any useful way in Big Suburbia, and nothing in within walking distance of your house except like 2 playgrounds and maybe one (1) gas station. (I hate it here lmao)

If I was trapped in the country I’d probably be chill with it for about a week, and enjoy the break, and the on day 8 I’d snap and go on a murdering spree out of stir-craziness.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? 

I want to learn German and eventually be fluent in it. But since I’ve already started trying to learn and I don’t know if that counts, I’ll say cinematography. As in the actual working of the camera and lighting and all that. I can dream up some pretty striking images but actually getting the camera to do the settings needed to capture them is another story entirely.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? 

Nope. I drink coffee and tea both, and I don’t put any kind of sweetener in either of them. I used to put a shitton of sugar in my coffee and honey in my tea, and then I had some mild eating disorder struggles in college and I never got back in the habit of putting stuff in my hot drinks after that. It just tastes wrong now, after being used to plain black coffee.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? 

Either the Harry Potter series or The Hobbit. My grandma would take care of me a lot when I was really little because my parents both worked full time to support us, and every single time I was at her house she’d sit us down at the dining room table and read something to me. Not Junie B. Jones or anything, either, but real, big, thick books. I loved the shit out of Harry Potter and The Hobbit; I would request them repeatedly. We pretty much went back and forth; we’d read Harry Potter, and then The Hobbit, and then when a new Harry Potter book came out we’d read that, and then The Hobbit again, and so on and so forth.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? 

Showers. I love baths, they’re magical, but ain’t nobody got time for that unless it’s a special occasion. I got too much shit to do to spend an hour lying in the bathtub.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? 

Vampire. Purely on the basis that if I was immortal maybe I’d finally have time to get my to-do list done and accomplish things. I’d miss the sunlight though.

8. Paper or electronic books? 

Paper. Here’s the thing, I really want to enjoy ebooks, but they just don’t hold my attention at all. Maybe I’m too conditioned by the internet to have a short attention span when I’m looking at a screen, idk.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? 

I have a dark gray hoodie from the Seattle Aquarium from when I went on a road trip across America with my BFF a few years ago. It’s still my absolute favorite thing. I also enjoy my hiking boots a lot. (I wear them all the time, really they should just be called “everyday boots” haha)

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it?

I like my name and I would also like to start going by something different. Probably just because I’m a restless soul and I feel the best (and least trapped) when I’m on the move or when things are changing. The second I get somewhere I want to be somewhere else. That’s just how I am. Gwen is a cool name (I’ve personally met maybe 3 people in my whole life with the same name, face-to-face), but there’s a lot attached to that nickname that I don’t necessarily want to carry with me when I eventually escape my hometown and start down a new path.

11. Who is a mentor to you? 

A friend and former professor whom I usually refer to online as Producer Man. He’s a producer (as you may have guessed) who kind of took me under his wing after I was in one of his film classes in college. We work together on film projects now and he’s teaching me bit-by-bit (usually by way of long, rambling, tangential stories / lectures) about the industry. He’s a really good guy. Like, he for sure has a case of Old White Guy sometimes, but his heart is absolutely in the right place. “He’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit.” He’s always leaving $10 tips at coffee places and working himself to the bone to get his students connected to jobs and internships that will help them with their careers. 

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? 

Yes, my stories. Actually, “famous” is not the right word. It’s just that fame is so tightly associated with success in our society. I want to be successful. Whether I’m widely known or not is pretty inconsequential to me. I want to make stories and I want them to have an impact. Books, film, etc. It’s about as simple as that.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? 

Oh yeah. I have trouble  sleeping as much as I should because I usually kind of jerk awake in the morning with this vague feeling that I forgot something or that I’m late for something. Also I stay up later than I should because I’m a night owl, and yet I like being up early because early mornings are great. And usually if I dream at all it’s something kind of stressful, like I dream that I forgot something important or did something wrong. I’m a Stressed Bean. 

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? 

I think so, yeah. I’m pretty obsessed with the idea of romance (I mean look at my OTPs), but heteronormativity got me fucked up enough that I’m bad at actually navigating real romantic feelings or relationships because society never prepared me for The Gay.

15. Which element best represents you? 

Fire, probably.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? 

My mom. We fight a lot and there tends to be a lot of tension between us. It’s a long complicated story. It boils down to, she really hurt me when I came out as not-straight at 15 and she lost all of my trust and even though she’s working on being less homophobic we’re still kind of trying to repair that divide seven years later.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? 

Dude, I miss everyone. I’m an introvert and I’d love to be at a big party right now. I miss socialization. (As does everyone.) 

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. 

The first time I experienced deja vu, I was about eehhh 6? And I legitimately believed, for several years of my life, that I had future-predicting abilities. Like, supernatural-level future-predicting abilities. Because I didn’t really know what deja vu was, so I thought, every time it happened, that I had already ~seen~ that moment in my dreams or something. 🤣

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? 

Hm. (My immature ass brain yells “DICK.” No, brain. Those were dark heteronormative times. Also, grow up.) 

Probably some of the sushi in Seattle. I actually love sushi, it’s just that when it has full-on legs and eyeballs I start getting a little squeamish. I like the rolls and the kind where there’s some fish meat laid out on a nice little bed of rice, that’s delicious. But when they brought out the whole shrimp with legs still attached, I was like “How in the (redacted) am I going to chew / swallow that.”

20. What are you most thankful for? 

That I happened to be living with family when this pandemic hit. I was supposed to move out (and across the country, actually) as of... like 4 days ago, as it happens. That was the plan. Plane ticket was gonna be booked for 7/15/20. Obviously, things didn’t quite work out that way, because of the pandemic and a few other reasons. But I can’t imagine if I had been in an apartment living with roommates, or in an apartment on my own struggling to get by, when this happened. A lot of people couldn’t pay rent and lost their homes. I was very, very lucky to be where I was, when I was, and very lucky that I have family who let me stay in their house pretty much indefinitely while this clusterfuck of a year happens.

21. Do you like spicy food? 

Yes! I looooove spicy thai food especially. I miss the massaman curry from a local Thai place so much 😭

22. Have you ever met someone famous? 

Um. Maybe? I met Veronica Roth once at an author talk in the library where I work, although it was before I worked there. And I met some guy from New Zealand who’s famous for his sword fighting skills because my dad does sword fighting stuff. Don’t remember his name though.

23. Do you keep a diary or journal? 

Yep. I have to write down everything or I forget. (I often say I have the memory of a goldfish.) Also, I have this compulsion to record and preserve my experiences in life, because I feel like our time on Earth is so fleeting and if I don’t write down what’s important to me, I’ll forget it and lose it.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? 

Pen. Pencil gets smudged.

25. What is your star sign? 

Scorpio, which is ironic because they’re supposed to be ~hyper sexual~ I guess, and I’m like gray-ace or something in that zone.

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? 

Crunchy. Who eats soggy cereal? Are you okay? Do you need help? This is an intervention. 

27. What would you want your legacy to be? 

My stories. Life and sentience, as we experience it, is made up of just that: experience. And I read somewhere that, on some level, the human brain doesn’t differentiate that much between real life experiences and fictional experiences. I think that’s true. If you read or watch or hear the right story, it can really touch you and change the way you see life, or even change the way you live life. Stories have an incredible amount of power, both in individual people’s lives and in larger society. A huge amount of power. I want to be able to give people experiences that will Enrich Their Lives (do I sound like a lifestyle coach yet? 🤦🏼‍♀️), but also stories that actively do good in society. Positive representation, body positivity/neutrality, diversity, healthy relationships (Hollywood has a real problem with that). Hope. It’s the best thing I can think to give society, and storytelling is what I love to do.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? 

I love reading. I wish I did it more. Part of my problem is that I get caught up in the hectic Rat Race of modern society and I never feel like I have time to sit down with a book for hours. Another problem of mine is that I start too many things at once, meaning I currently have like 5-10 (I lost count) books that I started reading, and I want to finish all of them, which means no progress ever gets done on any of them.

I last finished The Goldfinch, and I am currently working on The Secret History, Good Omens, Dune, a book my dad wrote, Directing Actors, Shot by Shot, The Way of Kings and I forget what else.

29. How do you show someone you love them? 

Physical affection, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and gifts, in that order. If I’m close to someone, whether romantically or not, I want all the affection. And I’m kind of dying in quarantine. 

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? 

Depends. I usually don’t put any in, because it’s just gonna water down the drink and get in the way of drinking it (you know when the ice attacks your face?), but I don’t really mind ice in my drinks.

31. What are you afraid of? 

Helplessness. I Have Control Issues. ✌️ Also stagnation.

32. What is your favourite scent? 

Amber. Or any scent that’s kind of autumn-y. You know what I mean. Some other examples include dryer sheets, wood smoke, cigarette smoke (my big sister used to smoke a long long time ago, and although I never saw her do it, I still associate the scent with her), pine resin, rain, that Mahogany Woods scent from Bath and Bodyworks.

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? 

If they introduce themselves as Pam I call them Pam. If they introduce themselves as Mr. Brown I call them Mr. Brown.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? 

 If “money is not a factor” means I have an infinite amount of money to spend as I wish, then: buy land, build film studio complex on land, found company, hire fellow creatives, make movies.

If “money is not a factor” just means that I don’t have to work 40 hours a week to afford rent, then: move to Chicago, rent a nice studio apartment, write stories, maybe work 15 hours a week at a used bookstore or coffee shop to get me out of the house and socialize. Go to museums, go to the park, walk along Lake Michigan, go to gay bars, ride the train, brave the Illinois winters, own a cat, paint, play guitar. Build my actual career on writing / storytelling. Probably also do some filmmaking.

Alternatively: buy an RV (not like an American Trailer Park shitty RV, I’m talking the NOICE ones), buy good film equipment, be a freelancer, live in RV driving around to wherever the next filming location is. Life is a road trip and I’m doing what I love. Writing, storytelling, filmmaking. My home would travel with me. Writing in cafes; roadside attractions; early mornings on the road with coffee in the cup holder as the sun comes up; being able to go anywhere to film; always experiencing something new.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? 

I’ve lived in a landlocked state my whole life, so I guess swimming pools. And, listen, I CANNOT get water in my mouth at the beach without wondering exactly how many kids have peed (or worse) in that water. (I know that’s a thing with pools too, but pools get cleaned.)

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? 

Wonder what some poor European is doing in America right now. But if it was $50, I’d probably yell “DID ANYONE DROP THIS?” and then take it if no one speaks up.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? 

A few times, yeah.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? 

Grades are not the end-all-be-all. Skip some homework assignments to spend time with friends. Skip class sometimes. I’m serious. If you make school your top priority, even over your own personal life, you will come away with good grades and a lot of regret and missed opportunities. Learning is HELLA important, and very very little of it happens inside a school building. Get a 15 hour weekend or after-school job in high school, befriend your coworkers, and have fun with it. Use your paychecks however you want. Join a school club - one that you’re actually interested in. Do stupid shit. Light your textbooks on fire after graduation or go to the 24 hour Wendy’s at 2am with your friends or kiss that person you met at summer camp or sleep on the porch because it’s too hot to sleep inside. Be smart and safe, but follow your whims. If you let yourself fall into routine, apathy will poison you.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? 

I already have a couple small ones, but the one I want next is a four-leaf clover. Don’t know where. Maybe my right inner wrist or maybe an ankle. Or like behind my ear. Luck has saved me so many times. (See above, with how I happened to be living with family when COVID hit.)

40. What can you hear now? 

Swamp cooler downstairs, the clock ticking in my office, cars outside, people moving around the house. I’m surprised the neighbor kids aren’t shrieking their absolute heads off as per the usual. 

41. Where do you feel the safest? 

When I’m alone and unobserved. 

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? 

TMI warning, but I absolutely despise public bathrooms. How am I expected to pee when there’s somebody sitting like three (3) feet away, with only a partial wall between us, hearing everything that’s going on? My fight or flight response simply will not allow it. It’s too awkward and therefore Not Safe. Either that public restroom has to be empty except for me, or it has to be so loud and bustling that ain’t nobody hearing anything. Anything in-between and I’m in hell.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? 

The ‘80s. Let’s be honest, even that far back makes my life (as a woman, and as a gay person) hella difficult. But, consider this: it’s the ‘80s. Furthermore, consider this: a part-time job might have actually supported me and paid rent back then 😱 Holy fucking shit. Sign me up. I just wouldn’t want to go any further than than like 1980, because again: lesbian. Being a woman in the past = even harder than it is today, being gay in the past = even harder than it is today, being a gay woman in the past = oh no.

44. What is your most used emoji? 

In order of descending frequency:

😂🙄😊😁🤦🏼‍♀️👀😬🌈🤷🏼‍♀️😙

45. Describe yourself using one word. 

Creative

46. What do you regret the most?

Wasting my entire teenage experience. (See #38.) I did quite literally nothing with my life except homework for like 18 years. If I had taken even a tenth as much time for myself as I did for school, I would be so much farther along as a person today.

47. Last movie you saw? 

In the theaters? ........ uh. Shit, I don’t actually remember. It’s been like 5 months. (As it has for everyone.) But the last movie I watched was Lights Out, because I’ve been watching the director’s youtube channel. You could tell it was low-budget and that the director was still kind of finding his stride, but it had a lot of heart behind it and the creators clearly gave a fuck, which made it enjoyable. I am firmly in the camp of “not everything has to be a Magnum Opus or have a multi-billion dollar budget to be a good movie.” If I engaged with it and got some sort of emotional experience out of it, and if it had a good message, I consider it a good movie.

48. Last tv show you watched? 

I don’t usually watch a whole lot of TV shows (who has the time?) but I think the last thing I watched was either The Witcher or that new Unsolved Mysteries miniseries on Netflix. Oh and I was watching Dead to Me because I just love Linda Cardellini’s face and I want to wrap Judy up in a blanket and cuddle the shit out of her and protect her from all things 🥺 My precious beautiful unstable sweet murder baby.

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. 

Apapanic. It’s where you’re so stressed about things that half of your brain is panicking but the other half is so overwhelmed that it circled all the way back around to being calm to the point of apathy, so you just kind of sit there like

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

2021 Is The New Year, But I Feel Sad Tonight

things seem pretty okay at the start of this year.

still procrastinating, but if you feel up to doing what you make your goal

right away, then you should be able to try to enjoy a little relaxing, watching your favorite shows or movies, or maybe do some drawing and try to come up with ideas for future chapters for fan fic that you have to post in a different place than where you would normally post them.

but I’m sticking to that promise,

and just need time to get around to it a little more.

I’m crying right now, and not just because of the possibility of my pendulum being right about someone I considered a friend, doing something behind my back, and lying to others and well....I’m still gonna hope it isn’t true.

and my pendulum was just playing a REALLY mean prank.

I am also upset that ANOTHER person is stealing from Vivziepop,

and they can’t even understand why the Youtube User

who goes by [Redacted], is mad.

which I can understand why they are mad and well the other party who has done it might not realize it and need to be told in a gentle way about it.

and at least when others use drawings or clips,

to do dubs or music videos, they give credit.

I even mention in a journal over at the other place I go to,

about how someone else had broke the Pilot episode of Hazbin Hotel,

and even wrote for the title if Hazbin Hotel Was A Series.

I really REALLY hope both Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss,

get on Adult Swim, I need to look up to see when Cuphead Show is gonna come on, all I know it is suppose to be around 2021.

I think I feel a bit better now, when I had stop typing for a few or so on this,

I was talking to family, guess it helps to talk to family at times.

I still don’t like my pendulum giving me such replies about someone I trust.

I really don’t do well with betrayal, and plus the reason like I said before

about my reasoning for chickening out about telling whats going on.

well about what that one Youtuber from before was doing,

because I know it is possible I might just end up messing it up,

and possibly get my words misinterpreted, and I thought that 

I saw the number of one of the journals, and I ain’t pleased.

it would be different if it was just my fan art or whatever,

but  I had talked about it around December of 2020, which was last year.

maybe after I check out some stuff on here, I can go sign in to Rooster Teeth

and check out Red Vs Blue or maybe even one of the Death Battles.

I asked my pendulum if any of those who saw those journals, even care

about whats going on, and well it gave a “No” but it could only mean only half of them don’t care about it.

if I could use magic to it’s fullest power, I would open a portal and get out of here every once in a while and take a nice vacation.

I would make sure to come back here of course...

I’m kind of peeved off at most of humanity, even if there are still some good ones....which it is the good ones that make me not be full on Misanthrope.

so yeah I’m just Semi-Misanthrope.

I wonder if I have become a bit more sensitive than normal?

it could have to do with how I had got over a depression in 2015, but then the next year I ended up in a whole new mess...

I really need to try not to let myself fall into another depression after having recovered from one that was from what was happening at home.

well I was always sensitive and when I get really sad about something,

I would end up crying.

I just really hope that everything works out, and people who can explain what’s going on much better than me, will tell the team whats going on.

I just need to try not to worry about it too much about it.

another thing I should try not to worry about, is the fact my pendulum gives me a Yes, about being in love with...someone I can’t say the name of.

just because we MIGHT of been together in one of my past lives,

don’t mean it is going to happen in this life.

best to just try to ignore it and bury it deep deep deep very deep down,

or least try to.

having a crush I can handle.

but my pendulum has to be playing a really mean prank on me about who I am supposedly in love with.

I know I let things get to me too much, and well because of how badly I was hurt.

and how I had to give in to such unfair demands, that didn’t really fix the problem at all....and we could of worked it out if I was just told...

and if it was about a journal, then they could of just told me...

great now I’m crying again, and it isn’t just because of well that mess from a few years ago.

I guess even though I did get better after a second depression, which was partly my fault because I let what happen get to me too much.

and well it put me in a very darker place than what I was put in when that nightmare stuff was going on around at home.

I want to try to talk with friends more, but at the same time I still need to have time to myself, like a lot.

I am still tired of being hurt past my breaking point,

and I really hope that my pendulum is just playing a really mean and cruel prank, not from the whole me being in love with.......someone.

but because of the thought of being purposely hurt...

it is possible my pendulum when it doesn’t give me a truth, or a friendly prank.

like the one where Gaster being real and he implanted the idea of Undertale and Deltarune in Toby Fox’s Mind...

or the whole my soul despite being in a human body,

is a upside-down heart, which is kind of like the Monster’s Souls from Undertale....

those are fun pranks it does.

but anyway it is possible that it shows me worries,

things that I know would hurt me deeply.

maybe I should make it charge by the window again,

as well as take some food salt,

pray with it in my hands to the Divine Father & Mother,

and throw the food salt on to the pendulum.

I had discovered I can get rid of certain negative energies

that end up on some stuff we have, by taking some food salt

(that we normally eat with.) then pray with it in my hands,

then throw it on the said item.

well at least it is being honest about the whole embarrassing empath thing.

and about how the bracelets I wear seem to now protect me from such energies.

I’m not saying what it is on here though...

it could at least give a No about it not being true,

and it was just joking.

and maybe I shouldn’t be too mad at well the ones who couldn’t understand

what they were doing with Hazbin Hotel and even Helluva Boss.

but even if some people might stand up for them, and might even resort to some name calling.

but there are lines fans should never cross.

and even if fans do use some parts of clips, or mix clips up into a fan music video, it is important to make sure that those who see it,

will understand the clips belong to it’s original owner or owners.

otherwise it will be like that false report on the original Undertale Amv

yes someone did do some subs for it, but the one who gave the false report,

might of not bothered to check the day or month of the said two.

and I believe that the one who did subs for the Amv, did ask for permission.

I have mention before that I dislike the negative side of Youtube,

cause they let false reports happen.

I like the positive side of Youtube,

and I hope all of you understand what I mean.

maybe I should try doing mediation again,

but maybe I should wait until tomorrow....

I might not be in the right mood for it right now.

I got a violin for christmas, but I’m not very good at playing it,

but that’s fine, I don’t mind if I sound a little terrible on it.

another thing that my pendulum is full of Determination

to prank me with, is it still giving a Yes about Jesus Christ having Descendants.

and I guess since I know it is a prank, I can say it here.

I keep asking if Jesus is my Ancestor, and it keeps giving me a “Yes”

I ain’t telling my family I been asking my pendulum questions,

that need a “Yes” or “No” type of reply.

and i sure ain’t telling them that the pendulum keeps pulling the same prank about well Jesus who is suppose to be like a very distant cousin, being like technically my ancestor too...?

I think it is just one of it’s pranks.

maybe I really should get the food salt prepared to throw at it,

make it go into a time out and stop pulling such mean pranks.

at least it giving a Yes about W.D.Gaster being real and implanting the idea of the two video games of both Deltarune and Undertale into Toby Fox’s mind,

is a really good and funny prank it is pulling.

okay I think I feel better now and am not gonna cry again.

I know I had mentioned before about the whole being a descendant of King David.....which the Virgin Mary is the descendant of him too,

which makes Jesus technically a very distant cousin...

King David was a dysfunctional Dad, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Grandpa Solomon was the same...

even if you might end up with a really cool ancestor or ancestress,

there will always be ones that will disappoint you.

but anyway this ain’t about the dysfunctional ancestors....

I need to try to keep to my happy place and try not to let worries

and hope the whole stuff that I had talked about before.

oh and no matter if your religious or atheist,

it’s fine ya don’t think much of what was said,

after all it has to be my pendulum just pulling one of it’s pranks.

not about being a distant cousin thing,

I knew that way before I got my pendulum.

I think I might of known before I got it,

I know that someone in my family told me about

the whole we are family to Jesus...

you know if he did have a daughter way back many moons ago....

my pendulum gave me a truthful Yes, so yeah...

if he did have a daughter, he would of treated her better

and not be like King David and how he didn’t do anything to help Tamar.

but if anyone who is atheist doesn’t believe about all that,

I wont force ya, it’s fine if you don’t want to.

I mean I did once thought I was Christian, and even went by it for some time.

I can still have the same believes as when I did thought I was a Christian like the rest of my family.

but I am a Ma-Acolyte, I believe in well The Divine Father, Mother and Jesus.

but it is fine that no one believes the same as me, plus I don’t believe it is right to force convert.

if someone wants to convert, it should be of their free will.

you should never make them feel bad or tell them if they don’t,

they will go to hell.

well being “Gay” ain’t gonna be the reason you go to hell,

no matter how many times people say it will.

that is one of the honest and 100% truthful replies to my questions,

that my pendulum gave me.

so yeah being Gay ain’t a sin.

and my bigender identity & being Aroaceflux ain’t a sin either.

in case anyone doesn’t know about well the whole bigender thing.

it is like two gender identity,

for me I still see myself as my biological birth gender.

but at the same time I see myself as Non-Binary too.

so yeah I am Gyno-Agender.

it took me some time to figure out the true parts of me.

I’m listening to the parody of ADDICT right now,

it is nice that they make sure to put the original link to the original maker of the song as well as the music video that it was used in.

it suppose to be Valentino and Vox singing it.

(with Velvet too.)

why do I find Valentino & Vox’s voices attractive.

well I do find Stolas’s singing voice really charming.

well there are different ways to be attracted to others.

like a sirens singing voice, you can’t help but be enchanted.

I think after getting some feelings out, I really do feel better.

might not be able to do a lot of what I want to do on here right now.

so maybe just a few things, like how I heart/faved two posts when I had first signed on this year in 2021.

and by the way there was a reason why I put “Redacted”

it is like to censor a name, I even decided to do that after figuring out

about well what was wrote in that Five Nights of Flirting I had downloaded.

it’s basically a AU of a AU, but according to the person that made the fan game, the original creator doesn’t want to be named.

I really need to figure out how not to die so fast in that game.

at least it gives you a option of being Male, Female or Non-Binary/Genderfluid.

        and well I am kind of both of the Female and Non-Binary part.

but I can just pick all three for different routes.

but the game is “M” so it isn’t for everyone.

speaking of “M” rated, I need to make sure when a younger family members

come over, I need to make sure they don’t get their hands on my M rated games.

there are some things that a little kid should NEVER see, not until they are old enough.....

there is just some things you do not let your kids see,

and if they do, they might understand later on that they weren’t the proper age to see certain movies or shows, and they want to try to stop the cycle from repeating.

maybe I shouldn’t bother with placing tags for this.

I decided to ask my pendulum again about the whole friend thing

and if they were just joking, and I believe I asked it to be serious

and I felt mad too, so maybe becoming a little more mad at it, will give a answer that isn’t a mean prank that is from my fears.

I just don’t like being betrayed,

that had happen to me before, with a boy who I thought was my best friend.

the teachers were no help either,

couldn’t just understand from my point of view.

anyway maybe I will check out some stuff on here first,

then I will go watch some cartoons and try to stay in a happy place.

anyway see ya later, stay safe and happy late new year everyone. 

PS:

this time the pendulum had admit it was joking, so yeah it better not pull such a prank again....but I think for a few days I wont use it....

but I will throw food salt on it....that joke it was playing wasn’t funny.

it was one of the reasons I started to cry and worry.

so the pendulum is gonna get a timeout for the rest of the day...