#my siblings literally do jack shit and are allowed to be as big assholes when they're moody

[chimnation]

.

[coreytaylr]

do all the cat asks!!!!!!!

1. Name?- Pici and Mocsok

2. Fur color?- Pici is tricolor, Mocsi is tuxedo!!!

3. Any family you know (other than you)?- i dont know what this means tbh??

4. Age?- Pici is 2 yrs old, turning 3 in March and Mocsi is 4 yrs old, turning 5 in May (oh my god he’s so old!!)

5. Favorite toy?- neither of them really give a shit about toys no matter how many we buy them so :(

6. Nicknames?- i call Pici Babey or Picúr, and Mocsok’s nickname is Mocsi (or bastard)

7. Cinnamon roll or problematic fave?- both of them are both kjsdfksdjf like, i think Pici is the sweetest lady that ever existed, while everyone else thinks she’s the spawn of satan; and w Mocsi, its the other way around, i know the shit he’s done, but everyone else thinks he’s an angel

8. Length of fluff?- normal length for both of them i guess??

9. Any funny habits?- oh man ksjddf Pici likes to announce before she goes in the litterbox and does her business and its the funniest thing ksdjfdskf- Mocsi .. is just not the brightest cat to ever lived, so when he wants to go outside, he will stand in front of the door and meow and scratch at it, and if you open it for him, he doesnt go out but just stands there and stares.. and he just won’t move if you dont nudge him

10. How old were they when you met?- we got Mocsi when he was around 4-6 months old, and Pici has been w us since the day she was born (literally akjfsdf her mother was my cat too)

11. What does their food bowl look like?- they have three bowls: one for the dry food, one for Mocsi, which is a little bigger, blue bowl w a cat’s head drawn inside of it; and Pici just has a basic aluminium one

12. Indoor or outdoor cat?- Pici is a strictly indoor cat as of last year’s summer, Mocsi is kind of like a mix? he is allowed to be outside w/o a harness (i know i dont like it either), but he comes in at night

13. Recent picture?

14. Old picture?

(Pici was only a few months old here

15. Cuddly?- YES YES YES

16. Ever changed their name?- yeah actually, Pici started out as Maki (which means monkey, basically) bc her meows sounded like monkey noises??

18. Eye color?- they both have yellow eyes!

19. How do they express love for you?- they purr and come into my lap, or sleep beside me. Pici likes to stand on my laptop blocking the screen. Mocsi likes to headbutt me, almost breaking my nose

20. How do you express love for them?- i pet them and cuddle up to them, pick em up and hold them in my arms - just the usual

21. Any theories on what breed?- nah, nothing they are just typical house cats

22. Do they ever wake you up?- YEAH Mocsi almost suffocated me way back when, by trying to sleep on my face asdhfklsdf

23. How much do they meow?- Mocsi only meows when he wants food or wants to go outside, so not much. on the other hand, Pici is very vocal (and has an attitude too) and i really really like it !!!

24. Any hiding spots?- hm. not really? or maybe under the bed or table

25. Do they enjoy guests?- Mocsi LOVES new people!!!! he will make friends w everyone and anyone. Pici…not so much (same)

26. Lofty objects to sit on?- we have this huge ass wall-to-wall closet in the living room which is p tall, they like to sleep there. otherwise, they just like to sit on tables

27. Wear a collar?- nah not since Mocsi almost suffocated himself w one

28. How much shedding?- Mocsi is alright, but Pici is a disaster

29. Do they enjoy brushing?- no:((

30. Ever drink from the toilet?- no????, but Mocsi does like to sit on it when the lid is closed dont ask

31. How do they get your attention?- by meowing? but i literally always pay attention to them so

32. Embarrassing thing they’ve done?- Mocsi almost suffocating himself w a collar or running headfirst into the wall. Pici’s p graceful so idk

33. Weirdest thing they try to eat?- Mocsi really likes potatoes for some reason?? and Pici always tries to eat my food

34. Are they like your siblings, children, or friends?- THEY ARE MY BABIES

35. What time do they eat breakfast?- after i wake up, so it depends

36. Do you cut their nails?- we only cut Pici’s nails (when we remember it)

37. Do you think they understand you?- i dont think Mocsok knows anything about this world tbh but im like 99% sure Pici understands everything

38. Ever make fun of them?- oh yeah. a lot.

39. Do you take their picture often?- everytime im home

40. Ever hiss at you?- Pici did!! i tried to take away a bird she caught

41. Ever try to scratch or bite you?- yea, but its all fun and games 

42. If you try to grab their paw, what do they do?- Mocsok doesnt give a flying fuck, Pici takes it away

44. Canned or dry food?- both

45. Weight?- Mocsi is 6 kgs, Pici is 2 kgs. according to google thats 13 lbs and and 4 lbs respectively

46. Ever got lost?- there were times when i was really worried bc Pici didnt come home in time, but they never got lost, no.

47. Do you buy them presents?- YES. just the other day i saw like, wine for pets?? and i really wanted to buy it but my mother didnt let me ://///

48. Do they respond when you call?- Pici does. im pretty sure Mocsok doesnt know what his name is

49. Do they ever see other cats?- yea. my brother has a cat too, so they usually see him, but who knows how many cats Mocsi sees when he’s outside

50. Declawed?- FUCK NO

51. Funniest expression?

52. Favorite place to be pet?- Pici likes it if you like….rub both sides of her face? and Mocsi likes chin scratches

54. Give them a head kiss.- next time i see them, i will !!!!!

55. What time of the year is most exciting for them?- i think its pretty neutral all throughout the year

56. Are they good at hunting real prey?- Pici was real good at it, she could catch birds mid-fly. Mocsok? nah.. he can barely eat his own food ksajfkdsf

57. Do they ever attack nothing?- attack? no. stare at it until i freak out? yeah

58. What are they doing right now?- idk im not at home :(( but its probably sleepy time

59. How long have you had them?- Mocsok for 3,5 years or so, and Pici, as ive said, has been w me since day 1

60. If you could have them stay as a kitten forever, would you?- i dont think so? i love them just the way they are

63. Have you ever stepped on their paw?- no but i did sit on both of theirs kasjkfsdf

64. Ever tripped you on stairs?- we dont have stairs so no

65. Any ear hair?- yeah!!! both of them have some

66. Favorite view from a window?- Pici just likes to spy the people who are on the street. Mocsi doesnt seem to know how to get to the window no matter how much he tries

67. Describe why they are precious.- i mean this whole post is basically about that kskdsf they are just goofy assholes who like to run around and fight each other. and sit/sleep on tables. and my laptop. 

68. Fit the cat stereotype?- Pici definitely does. Mocsok is like a dog in a cat’s body tbh

69. Chaotic neutral?- 100%

70. Do they enjoy following/ keeping you company?- oh dude yes, i cant even shower w/o them scratching at the door

71. Are you their favorite human?- i am definitely Pici’s favorite, but not Mocsi’s :’(((((

72. Do they like tv?- awwwwwwwwwwwwwww Pici used to watch cartoons when she was little, then she started watching like animal planet documentaries about big cats!!! but she lost interest. now she just likes to watch the things i watch on yt (her favorite is jacksepticeye. even if she’s asleep, she will wake up if she hears his intro. she would also like come up to me and meow at jack akjsdkjdsf its so cute)

73. Favorite noise to make?- i mean…purring…hellooo

74. If they were a Neko Atsume cat, what would their momento be?- pass

[candylani-draws]

When Evil Conquers YT - Chapter 2

Character List: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/177562446573/when-evil-conquers-youtube-character-list

Cover Art: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/177562290268/hey-peeps-im-so-excited-to-be-re-publishing

Wattpad Link: https://my.w.tt/rTElIdf6MP

Deviantart Link: https://www.deviantart.com/pandaserules97/gallery/67161703/When-Evil-Conquers-YouTube

(READ THIS FIRST!!) Important Notes: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/178727812658/when-evil-conquers-yt-important-notes-about-the

Prologue Link: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/178859191453/when-evil-conquers-yt-prologue

Chapter 1: https://candylani-draws.tumblr.com/post/178892439558/when-evil-conquers-yt-chapter-1

WARNING - This chapter uses high levels of offensive language, including insults and nasty comments about these certain Tubers. I obviously do not hate these people, this is just for story sake. If you feel that you are going to be offended by the words here, just skip to the end. Thanks!

Anon: "Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to announce my purpose for joining this occult!"

He leans down to inspect the pages, then opens the large book to the page he was looking for, a large slam echoed the rooms. In it lies a cell phone, and he pulls it out.

Anon: "Now, as I load my information, allow me to give some context. Most of you are aware of a popular video website called 'YouTube', correct?"

Lucifer: "You mean that stupid website that forbids copyrighted material and is full of pampering, self-absorbed morons?"

Anon: "Yes, exactly! And don't forget about ad revenue!"

His YouTube app has loaded, and he begins to search, both for his content, and in his notebook.

Anon: "Now then, I have four specific specimens who I believe deserve a bit of a punishment..."

Lucifer: "Ooh, what kind of punishment?"

Leader: "Have patience, Lucifer. We cannot have anything done if we rush into it..."

Anon: "Ah, here we are!"

Anon flips over several pages and reveals a large list of names.

Anon: "For 7 years, I've putting all of my time into this YouTube matter, finding out who and what is popular during different eras, and today, I have found the perfect victims. Now, if you look at this list, it reveals YouTubers that I wish to see be taken down by my command! Most of them are the gaming community, just a heads up."

The list was insanely long, and each of the names contained some sort of extra name beside it. From the looks of it, it seemed that Anon wanted to take these Tubers and...change their names? The first 4 caught everyone's eyes.

List of Dumbasses - 2016

1. VenturianTale → Jimmy Casket

2. JackSepticEye → AntiSepticEye

3. Markiplier → Darkiplier, Yandereplier, Authorplier, Googleplier

4. Pewdiepie → Lucius-pie

Anon: "Let's see here, ah! VenturianTale, the first channel on my list! To keep this simple, I'll make a demonstration and start off with the first four names, to warm us all up. If this is a success, we continue this tradition every October!"

He pulls up a video of some brunette man wearing a blue hoodie, screaming like a girl at some stupid animatronic animal jumpscare.

Anon: "Now then, here's out first Tuber, Venturian, aka Jordan Frye, a American guy who is known for playing Gmod and has 2.43 million subscribers. Even though that's not a large number compared to other channels, it still eludes me how a man in his 20s spends his time playing stupid mods with his retarded siblings. Yes, this isn't a solo channel, he has 3 other siblings who are equally guilty of this cringeworthy dungheep."

Random Occult Member 4: "No wonder they only have less than 3 million subscribers..."

Anon: "However, there is something that caught my attention from them during my studies...on their Gmod murder series, Venturian has created an original character named 'Jimmy Casket', a crazed murderer who happens to have some sort of personality disorder. It's a long, boring story as to why that is, but the point is...whenever Jordan plays as Jimmy, it seems to be one of the few times he goes insane and turns into someone else...someone dangerous...someone...evil.."

Random Occult Member 2: "Interesting..."

Anon: "Now, onto our next Tuber..."

Not even 3 seconds into the next video, and several of the Tubers covered their ears in pain from obnoxious singing and shouting. Luckily, Anon came prepared as he grabbed powerful earmuffs during his searching.

Anon: "Is the ear bleeding done?"

Everyone: "TURN THAT SHIT OFF!"

Anon: "With pleasure..."

Anon took off his earmuffs and paused the video. From the screen, and the audio, this Tuber is European man with bright green hair and a VERY loud personality.

Anon: "Our next Tuber is JackSepticEye, aka Sean McLoughlin, an Irish gamer with 12.36 million subscribers. I have no idea how the hell he's able to scream and shout for more than 20 minutes without a sore throat, but that is a gift he should never have been born with. This man is irritating, and he seems to overreact to every little fucking thing he plays! And he's friends with an eyeball that's LITERALLY septic! He's FRIENDS with a toxic fucking eyeball!"

Random Occult Member 2: "Greaaaaat, as if this man wasn't unlikable enough, now he's a gross slob..."

Anon: "...Riiight...now then, despite his annoyance, he also has a darker side to him that, this time, was created by his fanbase. Since his YouTuber name implies that he's all septic, it only makes sense that his dark side implies that he's antiseptic, and it's quite an irony. Recently, some of Jack's videos are giving canon appearances of this alter ego, and it helps give one a glimpse of what his true design looks like..."

Lucifer: "Ooh, now THAT is something I would KILL to see!"

Anon: "...Okaaaaay then...Next up is the pure definition of a manchild. Do not be fooled from his appearance."

The next Tuber who was on screen was an Asian-looking guy with an extremely American accent, red dyed hair, square glasses, and a skin tight shirt, playing some horror game about a rabbit.

Anon: "This here is Markiplier, aka Mark Fischbach, and this is another American Tuber here, with 14.55 million subscribers."

Random Occult Member 3: "Ooh, this guy has quite the bod..."

Anon: "Hey, remember what I said earlier? This person may look handsome on the outside, but inside, he's a scaredy-cat and...a bit of a crybaby...He's also really stupid."

Anon fast-forwarded the video, and the man screamed loudly and flew backwards in his seat, with his jaw dropped to the floor.

Anon: "See what I mean? Oh, and this guy seems to have a weird thing for boxes, considering he's friends with one."

Anon then clicks on another video with the man playing with some sort of small box creature with a big baby face and cartoony hands, and they're making stupid noises and faces.

Lucifer: "How in the hell did he even-?"

Anon: "It's best not to ask right now. Besides, I didn't get to the real meat here. Mark is unique, because he has not one alter ego, but FOUR!"

All Members: "FOUR?!"

Anon went into his photo album and pulled up a collage for 4 characters that looked eerily similar to the manchild.

Anon: "You heard me right, 4 alternate egos! The main one, and the most iconic, is his dark side named...Darkiplier...I know, hilarious. This ego has an interesting history. He originally started off as Mark trying to be "scary" to his audience, and this soon turned to a whole new persona. The last time Dark was seen canonically on-screen was a video named "relax", but I've been hearing rumors about the new appearance of Dark; it consisted something of him being all black-and-white, in a formal suit, and 3D effects..."

Lucifer: "Wouldn't that be cool to see?"

Anon: "Ha, tell me about it. Now then, the next persona is known as 'Googleplier', and this one is pretty recent. From Matthias' video 'Google IRL', Googleplier is a real-life Google machine who can answer any question, along with having an obsession with destroying mankind...to be honest, this one is my most favorite. Unfortunately, Googleplier has a retarded weakness against too many questions."

Nobody said a word, but they all seemed to have some sort of prediction that Anon is, in some way, similar to Googleplier's personality.

Anon: "Third one has a bit of 'style', if style meant a weeb who wants to kill everyone for their lover. This is 'Yandereplier', but I'm calling him Yandere Mark for short. For those who don't speak weeb, a yandere is a character in anime who acts nice but kills peers behind their love interest's back. Yandere Mark actually started once Mark started playing an indie game called 'Yandere Simulator'. Basically, the game is shit, and the developer seems like an asshole. But this persona has definitely intrigued me. To have a fake persona to hide your true identity from the one you love? Seems like the perfect ego to hide crimes."

From the weird smile/grimace on Anon's face, the group was wondering if Anon has dealt with a "yandere" before.

Anon: "Last persona is a lesser known one, but holds great promise. Meet Authorplier! Honestly, he doesn't have an official name besides 'The Author', but I'll be calling him Author Mark for now. This persona was created back in 2013 in a mini-series called 'Danger in Fiction'. Honestly, most of the videos consist of stupid, immature potty humor, but the parts that I find to be BRILLIANT is the character's appearance and his power to write stories to torture his victims. See, with Author Mark, he has a special book that plans out the victim's fate, and he wants the victim to follow it, or else he'll end them faster with his bat."

Lucifer: "Now THAT one is my favorite!"

Anon: "And FINALLY, the last YouTuber on this list is..."

Anon quickly went back to his YouTube app and typed away, and everyone was anticipating for who was the last Tuber.

Anon: "PewDiePie, aka Felix Kjellberg! Not only is this guy the biggest gaming YouTuber, he is the biggest YouTuber of all time, having 48.17 MILLION subscribers!"

Random Occult Member 1: "48 million?!"

Random Occult Member 2: "He could have his own country with this many people!"

Lucifer: "This guy must be rich for playing games all day!"

Anon: "HOWEVER! I must point out that Felix does not play as many games as he used to in his hay day. Still though, he is no exception...the fact that this annoying Swedish man can entertain or cause controversy for stupid games or unlogical statements is beyond me. If there's one thing I cannot stand about him, it's his enormous ego, acting like he's a mighty god. He kind of reminds me another YouTuber, I think his name was Joke Pole, but he's not a gamer."

Random Occult Member 3: "What's Felix's alter ego?"

Anon: "Ooh, now this is a tricky one...see, Felix doesn't have an official persona like the others, especially since none of them have a canon appearance or voice. However, one I did choose is similar to Yandere Mark and Jimmy Casket, where this one is based off a game that Felix played named 'Lucius'. See, 'Lucius' was a game he played back in 2012, and it's about a boy with the powers of Satan; his main objective is to kill his family members without causing suspicion. For a while, people loved Felix playing as this demon-writhing kid, and he seemed to take on the personality quite well, although he had a strange obsession with a beach ball."

Leader: "I see..."

Anon: "And that's everything I wanted to say! I only have these personas, but these people have a SHIT ton of more personas than I could count, a lot of them were fucking stupid. I only chose the ones that caught my eye, which were coincidentally the popular ones."

Lucifer: "The power of shitty fanbases..."

Anon: "And this is only the start...once I make these personas a reality with a special recipe I have made, they will cause havoc, ruin the reputations of these YouTubers once and for all! These are only with 4, imagine what it would be like with every other YouTuber gamer, or YouTubers in general, big and small, destroying the platform and taking down Internet entertainment with it!"

Everyone gasped and stared in awe as Anon caught his breath from all his speaking.

Anon: "So...am I in?"

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

listen... i miss gmw. gimme a lil something something bout the kids' college graduations?? maybe baby penny is sick all over Farkle's diploma and it's ruined for framing and Jennifer can't BELIEVE the AUDACITY of this infant CHILD and maybe joshaya are running late late late late bc whoops impromptu trip to denmark on smthg and the plane was delayed but FSCK WE GOTTA GRADUATE or something. idk. what i do know is that i love ur blog and riarkle, in that order xxxx

You sent this in like maybe a week or so ago and I’ve been ignoring it in fear of becoming Trash once more but I just realized that it’s Riley’s birthday and life is a nightmare so the Trash Is Unleashed™

Okay so Maya stayed in New York for college as we know, but Riley and Farkle fucked off away to some Ivy League out of state

You readers can put them wherever your pretty little hearts desire, I personally like the thought of them in Boston (and I feel like it’d be a nice little circle since Feeny’s from Boston let me live)

But anyway, they’ve stayed as close as ever!!! Time and distance have no power over them!!! We know this!!!

Like we’re talking facetiming, constant texting, a group chat with memes they can’t explain to anyone else, phone calls, they all know what’s up with each other constantly

For the record they are still in touch with Zay, Smackle and Lucas but it’s just like. not CONSTANT communication you know. Like they’re group chat still lives but it’s college + Riley and Farkle have a kid so they’re all busy

But anyway

So Riley’s got her astrophysics and journalism courses aced, Farkle’s fully set to go into politics, and Maya’s art major is done with.

And you know. Our fav ot3 has been together most of their lives. They graduated middle school and high school together and they couldn’t wait to see each other graduate college

But…they were blindsided

No one had ever suspected their colleges would have the audacity to schedule their graduations on the same day

Does Riley pull a Topanga and try to fight her schools dean??? Absolutely 

Does it work? Absolutely not

So now the ENTIRE family is stressed, because most of the Matthews consider Maya part of the family, so does Minkus, Shawn can’t see his goddaughter graduate and Josh is left with the delima of “Girlfriend vs Niece”. They’re all freaking out like holy shit

Riley and Maya are just….in Full Dramatics about this

We’re talking waxing Shakespearean sonnets about the Universe™ trying to tear them apart. They make their way back to all that Sun and the Moon symbolism bullshit

After a literal week of this Farkle is TIRED

Wakes up to his four year old telling him “Mommy’s wearing a lot of eyeliner and said the world is a dark and spiteful place that doesn’t want her and Auntie Maya together and that every moment they share is in blatant defiance of fate. What’s that mean?” and this poor guy is just like,,,,,,for fucks sake,

Like obviously he wants to see Maya graduate too!!! They’re best friends!!! But these girls are EXAHUSTING him lmao

So he has a Plan, but he also knows how his Plans usually go, so he just gives tf in and calls his dad to handle it lmao

Meanwhile: Joshua

Who has just been….literally screaming nonstop since this drama unfolded

Riley’s his BLOOD, even though they’re uncle-niece they have more of a close sibling relationship

But he literally has a ring ready and waiting for Maya!!! 

And the boy is a fucking Matthews so of course HE’S in dramatic throws about this predicament 

He calls Cory for advice and Cory is like “You’re going to Maya’s because you love her and I’m not paying for your fucking flight to Boston” lmao

So it ends up with like. Katy, Shawn, Turner, Josh (+ his four bandmates), and Zay (bc he’s in the city and Broke), and Ava end up going to Maya’s ceremony 

With Cory, Topanga, Stuart, Amy, Alan, Eric, Auggie, Smackle and Feeny going to Riley and Farkle’s ceremony

Jack couldn’t get off work and Doesn’t Super Care and Morgan’s in Europe for work so they’re unfortunately off the list

They forgot to invite  Lucas didnt want anymore choosing between the girls bullshit couldn’t make the trip because of work lol

So anyway: Farkle’s Plan that was funded by Stuart? 

Absolutely got remote controlled robots so they could keep up a video call for both ceremonies 

You know damn well what I mean

Cory thinks this is absolutely the funniest fucking thing he’s ever heard of

Eric thinks this is a sign of the impending Robot Wars™

The girls are still massively upset and think Farkle’s a fucking dork but they’re very touched and love him yadayada so this calms them down a bit

But anyway like, we get to the big graduation day and like….disasters, disasters all around

Josh’s Stoner Friend™ keeps knocking into the damn robot and almost breaks it like thirty times in an hour

Eric is giving the robot at Riley and Farkle’s site a wide berth with suspicious eyes

Auggie, Cory and Penny are all suspiciously sick but are trying to power through the ceremony 

All the other students and people attending these graduations…..you know these whackjobs are getting looks. Some assholes in the crowd keep throwing stuff at the robots

Shawn and Katy are making a HUGE SCENE crying hysterically we all know they would

Jennifer makes a surprise, dramatic appearance at Farkle’s graduation

We’re talking pulling up in a limo, emerging in slow motion, wearing a glittering black evening gown, elbow length black satin gloves, stilettos and a huge hat with peacock feathers on it, making a show of searching the crowds before spotting him (standing directly in front of her) before throwing out her arms and screeching “My baby-!”

Farkle’s like ‘We literally have not spoken in at least six years will you please get the fuck out of here’

She does not, in fact, get the fuck out of there so Topanga is now on duty to make sure she and Stuart don’t get into a fight and ruin this for the kids asdfgj

Feeny keeps fucking falling asleep bc he’s old and doesn’t care about the guest speakers but he SNORES WORRINGLY LOUDLY

Students aren’t technically allowed to have devices™ out during the ceremonies so Riley and Farkle and Maya are trying so hard to be discrete as the watch the feed from each other’s graduations 

They literally end up paying more attention to each other’s graduations than their own lmao

Josh’s bandmates and Zay are all being the rowdiest fucking audience members possible like they’re all those assholes that bring noise makers and scream and clap at random intervals

Stuart and Jen keep shooting each other withering glares and trading insults as Topanga shushes them

Penny, Auggie, and Cory are just feeling more and more like Literal Death the longer this drags on 

Maya finally goes up to get her diploma and Katy literally faints

Riley and Farkle start cheering bc yay Maya!!! Until they remember they’re at their own ceremony and there is LITERALLY A SPEECH HAPPENING SO THEY’RE SCREAMING INTO THE QUIET AND INTERRUPTING EVERYTHING

Get glared back into submission but Maya’s laughing at them 

Maya’s graduation ends soonish after that but the other one is DRAGGING ON STILL so everyone is like crowed around trying to watch on Maya’s tiny screen lol

When the speech finally ends Smackle’s muttering about how everything said was factually incorrect 

Stuart and Jen are still antagonizing each other

Amy and Alan are taking enough pictures to blind people with the flash

So Riley gets called up for her diploma first right

Trips

Hard enough to fall off the fucking stage

Had to be helped back up by memebers of the band

Gets back on stage and gets her diploma

Falls again coming down

Amy and Topanga are s c re a m i ng and Maya is literally crying from the effort it takes to not laugh

Jen’s making obnoxious comments about who her son was ‘trapped’ by and Penny wants to know what that means and Stuart is prepared to stab Jen if she bothers to answer

Riley’s literally off to the side getting looked at by a medic when Farkle goes up for his diploma

He gets it fine enough but coming downstage he’s overcome with the urge to do ‘thank you I am farkle’

he didn’t realize the student that was called up after him was right behind him

punches this kid in the face, he falls

the person behind them falls

a fcucking domino effect of ivy league graduates 

Eric is literally crying from laughter watching this. So are his fucking bodyguards like they broke character bc this scene was Too Much

Feeny is back to snoring

The New York crowd is loosing their fucking minds

Farkle’s rushing back to his seat and Jen stands up to get his attention to Yell at him for being embarrassing and

Penny just fucking projectile vomits all over her

She’s SCREAMING

Cory opens his mouth to apologize and explain that she’s been sick and HE PUKES. WHICH SETS AUGGIE OFF

EVERYONES SCREAMING 

Listen it was a huge crowd but three people projectile vomiting is gonna cause a STIR

People are rushing away and it’s a whole mess of a scene

The nyc crowd is Alive watching this all unfold 

Eventually the ceremony ends and Riley and Farkle lowkey lock theirselves in their apartment for the rest of the night

Everyone thinks they’re just embarrassed but they’re fucking cracking up hysterically like it took two hours to give Penny a bath because they couldn’t catch their breath

At some point they settle down a bit and call Maya and the three of them spend the rest of their night drowning in nostalgia 

This is messy as fuck but I’m out of practice anyway

^ me when I think about gmw these days

[such-a-common-girl]

Underage Drinking (Sam/Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader)

Word Count: 2,996

Sam & Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader

Request: Hi! Id like to request a Sister Winchester imagine where the reader is a teenager, and she sneaks out to a party. She gets really drunk and she comes home and Sam and Dean are just waiting for her in the kitchen and they just go all big brotherly on her? Lots of fluff but I'm not opposed to some angst either.

Warnings: Language, fluff, underage drinking, angst

*gif not mine*

‘You coming tonight?’ The text from your boyfriend, Jack, reads on your phone.

The high school that you’re currently attending for the new few weeks has proven to be extremely better than the last few you’ve gone to. You clicked with everyone immediately, being accepted into the ‘in’ crowd without any complications, meaning you got a boyfriend pretty quickly. You know that it’s not going to last forever, only for a month at the longest, but you’re determined to enjoy yourself while you can. Meaning that there was no way in hell you’re going to miss that party tonight.

‘Yeah. Tell everyone I’ll be late, though. Gotta wait until both of my brother’s go to sleep.’ You text back quickly.

You angle your phone screen to where there’s no way that either of your brothers, who are sitting on the other side of the couch, can see it. You love Sam and Dean to death, but they’re the epitome of protective older brothers. They have no idea about this party that’s being thrown tonight, let alone the fact that you have a boyfriend.

They might think that you’re an innocent, seventeen year old girl, but you know you’re not. Not in the slightest. You’ve definitely taken after Dean more than you’ve taken after Sam, if you know what I mean. But, in your mind, your brothers don’t need to know that. Last thing you want is for them to send you off to live with Jody and take you away from the hunting lifestyle that you’ve genuinely grown to love.

“Who you textin’, kiddo?” Dean asks you through a mouthful of food, making you cringe.

“Claire,” You lie, shrugging your shoulders as you hit the ‘off’ button on your phone. “Telling me about this hunt she found. No big deal. It’s probably bullshit, anyways.”

“Tell her you’ll talk to her later,” Dean rolls his eyes. “This is the one night we’ve had since we’ve been in this crappy town that we are spending time together. And I know you and Claire bond about being angsty little teenagers, but save that crap for later. It’s sibling time.”

“I’m not an ‘angsty little freakin’ teenager.’” You roll your eyes back. “And I wouldn’t call this quality sibling time. Sam’s on his phone, too, and you’re sitting there hogging up half the couch while you force us to watch Dr. Sexy, M.D with you and that two pound burger you’re slamming down.”

“She’s right.” Sam laughs, giving you a thumbs up. “That burger is disgusting.”

“Oh, so now you’re ganging up on me?” Dean shakes his head. “You guys are just jealous because I’m obviously the coolest sibling. I killed friggin’ Hitler.”

“Oh, you wish!” You snort. “Obviously I’m the better Winchester. I have to put up with your two lame asses.”

“Ouch.” Sam pretends to be hurt. “I thought we were on the same team here?”

“Nah,” You smile, shaking your head.

A half hour and much more bickering later, Sam and Dean finally retreated to bed. Thankfully for you, the motel room that you’re staying in has a room separated for the bedroom, which meant that you’re forced to sleep on the couch this time around. You normally take turns on whoever sleeps on the couch, and normally you’d complain every time it was your turn. But this time, you’re gladly taking it. Better access to the door to sneak out without having to tip-toe past one of your sleeping brothers.

“Goodnight, Sammy!” You yell out into the bedroom as you climb onto the couch, acting as if you were going to bed. “Goodnight, my other asshole brother!”

“You’re such a little shit.” Dean yells back, making you laugh.

Once you see the light turn off, you pull out your phone and begin texting your boyfriend about plans for the night.

You’re beginning to feel more and more excited about this party. It’s not that you want to lie to Sam and Dean about anything, but you know that if you had asked them, they would say no. You once mentioned a party to them about a year ago, whenever you had been attending high school somewhere in Oklahoma. It was the first party you’d ever been invited to, and the thought of sneaking out hadn’t even crossed your mind. You asked Sam and Dean, and before you had even finished asking the question, it was a hard “no” from both of them.

You’d had similar experiences with them, just like when you told them that a guy had asked you out on a date whenever you were fifteen. They didn’t disagree, but they demanded to know everything about the guy, meet him, and then go on the date with you. Dean, in particular. He promised that he’d sit in the back of the theater, that you “wouldn’t even know he was there, unless the guy tried something slick.”

Yeah, that was the end of telling your brothers anything for you. Now, you’ve decided to keep your social life private and far away from your family life. You love the life you live with your brothers, and you love hunting, but you desperately want to have normal, teenage experiences as well.

You glance at the clock- 10:45. And by the loud snores coming from the room containing both Sam and Dean’s beds, you’d say that they’re both asleep. You quietly peel the blanket off of you before you tip-toe over to your suitcase, pulling out your clothes and makeup before walking off to the bathroom.

You slide on your jeans as quickly and quietly as possible, doing the same with your shirt. After you’ve finished getting dressed and applying minimal makeup, you’re ready to go. You grab the keys to the impala, which are sitting right next to Dean’s shoes, and you’re out the door.

Adrenaline and excitement rush through your body as you start the ignition of Dean’s car- this is a first for you. You’ve never dared to take the impala with you on your late night adventures, always being afraid of being caught by the police for driving without a license, so you’ve always had friends pick you up in the past. But since Sam and Dean finally “chilled out” and let you get your driver’s license a few weeks ago, Baby is joining you tonight.

Oh, how Dean would quite literally murder you if he knew you were doing this.

Twenty minutes and a handful of wrong turns later, you’re finally at the house where the party is taking place. You can see several people dancing through the windows, the faint hum of music catching your attention. A smile plays at your lips as you see Jack walking out the door and towards your car, waiting for you to join him.

“Hey, babe,” He slurs, drunkenness already prevalent in his voice. “Sick car!”

“My dad knew how to pick ‘em.” You shrug. “Let’s go get drunk, yeah?”

-

Your throat burns as you down your seventh shot of the night, your surroundings only getting more blurry as you continue on.

“”mmm having a lot of fun.” You slur as you slam the shot back down on the table, grinning at your friend in front of you.

“You should probably slow down,” She looks at you wearily, yelling over the music that’s playing. “Especially since you didn’t carpool and you’ve got to be home in like… an hour.”

“Fuck, really?” Your eyes widen. “Shit shit shit. I can’t drive right now.”

Your eyes glance across the room, looking for your boyfriend. Of course, he’s in the middle of playing pool with his friends, a half-drank cup of rum and coke in his hand. There goes your plan B of having him drive you back to the motel. Dammit, what are you going to tell Dean tomorrow when the impala isn’t there? Oh, fuck, you’re so screwed. You shouldn’t have drunk so much.

“Hey, I’m sober. I’ll drive you.” Your friend smiles at you. “But we’re leaving now. I told my dad I’d be home by two, and I’m already going to be past curfew by taking you home.”

“Thanksss,” A weight is lifted off your chest. You’ll deal with Dean tomorrow about not having the impala at the motel- right now, you’ve just got to focus on getting home. You get up off the couch, somehow remembering to grab your purse before heading out the door. You don’t even bother to tell anyone bye- judging by the state of everyone in the room, they probably won’t remember it tomorrow anyways.

“Where do you live?” She asks as she gets into the driver’s side of the car, beginning to pull out onto the street.

“The Motel 6 just off the side of the highway.” You say as you begin to close your eyes, tiredness suddenly hitting you. She gives you an odd look before nodding and beginning to drive off.

Sometime during the drive, you must have passed out, because before you know it you’re being shaken awake by your friend, her car parked in front of the motel.

“We in the right place?” She looks at you skeptically.

“Yeah,” You nod your head. “Thanks for the ride. I probably won’t ever be allowed to be out of sight of my brothers after this, so at least my last party was fun, right?”

“I can have someone drive your brother’s car back.” She offers, giving you a sympathetic smile. You’re about to take up her offer whenever you see the curtains being pulled back of the room you’re staying in, Sam’s eyes meeting yours. He just shakes his head when he sees you, giving you a stern look before closing the curtain again.

“Fuck, I gotta go. Don’t worry ‘bout the car.” You say as you stumble out onto the parking lot, almost tripping and falling onto your face.

As soon as you get into your motel room, you’re immediately hit with the cold stares of your brothers. Dean is sitting on the couch, a beer in his hands, as he gives you a “really?” look. Sam is standing closer to the door, rubbing his temples, looking like he has no idea what to do. They both look really worried, naturally, and if you were in a sober state of mind you’d probably be a little flattered at how much they actually care about you. But right now, all you can think about is how utterly fucked you are.

“Hi.” Is the only word you can squeak out.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Dean starts, raising his voice. “Forget the fact that you went behind our backs and came stumbling home drunk like a sorority girl, but what if something happened out there, huh? You know our lifestyle, you know what lurks out there at night, you know the things that are out to get us. You’re a fucking Winchester, you know the world happens to freakin’ hate us, and you being vulnerable like that? The fuck is wrong with you? You’re smarter than that!”

“I’m s-sorry.” You hiccup. “I jussst wanted to have fun. Won’t do it again.”

“The hell you won’t.” Dean snorts. “We’re out of this town tomorrow, and you’re crazy to think we’re ever gonna let you out of our sights again. Sneaking out like that, getting drunk…”

“Dean,” Sam clenches his jaw. “Now isn’t the time to have this talk with her. She’s drunk. Leave it for tomorrow.”

“Yeah, Dean. Besides, it’s not like you never-“

“Y/N, stop.” Sam gives you a warning glance. “Don’t make this worse on yourself for tomorrow. I’m not happy with you either. Just go to bed and we’ll talk tomorrow morning.”

“Fine.” You mumble. “By the way, Dean, you need to go get your car.”

“I what now?” Dean’s face drops.

You groan, digging in your purse to pull out the keys to the impala. “8325 northwest 134th…something. I don’t know. That’s where your car is at.” You toss Dean the keys.

“Son of a…” Dean mutters. “Y/N, I’m going to say this as calmly and as nicely as possible- don’t steal my damn car!”

“Got it, ‘ya freakin’ nazi…” You mumble the last part under your breath, and although Dean didn’t hear you, he still glares at you.

You suddenly start to feel very nauseous, the bad side effects of being wasted finally hitting you. You run to the bathroom, only barely making it to the toilet before throwing up everywhere. Both of your brothers run in after you, and much to your surprise, Dean is the one to hold back your hair as you puke.

“Hey, you’ll be fine,” He says reassuringly. “Man, you drank a lot.”

“Yeah.” You croak out. “I’m gonna feel like crap tomorrow.”

“I’m gonna get you some water and some aspirin. Whenever you finish in here, go the room. You can take my bed- I’ll sleep on the couch.” Sam tells you as he pats your back.

“Alright. ’M done. Goodnight. See you tomorrow whenever you yell at me again.” You get up. Whenever you get into the bedroom, you basically collapse onto the bed. You don’t even bother to pull the blankets over you; you just want to sleep. It’s been a long, long night.

The last thing you remember is drinking the water that Sam brought you before you pass out.

-

“Ugh,” you hiss as you open your eyes the next morning, your head pounding. It’s way too sunny in the room for you to handle right now.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Sam laughs. “How are you feeling?”

“Like crap.” You throw your pillow over your head. “Close the curtains.”

“Nope. Take some more aspirin and deal with it.” Sam shakes his head. “That’s what we always had to do. Dean’s out getting lunch for us right now, that’ll help.”  

“Here I was thinking you were the nicer brother.” You groan. “I want to go back to sleep.”

The door opens and Dean walks in, the smell of greasy burgers and crispy fries filling the room. He gives you a small smile as he sets down the bags and throws the keys onto the table.

“You’re lucky Baby was fine when I went to go get her this morning. Also- who the fucks house was that? It was like a freakin’ castle.” Dean comments, tossing you a burger.

“I don’t know.” You shrug, sitting up in bed. “Jack’s the one who invited me.”

“Jack?” Both of your brothers say at the same time, and you groan. Right, you forgot that they don’t exactly know about your boyfriend.

“He’s… A friend.” You say.

“You know what, we’ll save that conversation for another day.” Sam shakes his head. “We need to talk about last night.”

“Alright, go ahead. But if you’re going to yell at me, try and whisper-yell, alright? The hangover is real.” You rub your eyes while taking a bite of the burger.

“Nah, we aren’t going to yell at you.” Dean takes a seat next to you in bed. “Just want to talk.”

“Go for it.”

“I probably overreacted last night. You’re seventeen, and hell, I know what I was doing at seventeen. You sneaking out and getting drunk is nothing compared to it, so I guess I have no room to yell at you.” Dean starts, taking you by surprise. “And I’m proud of you for not driving yourself home, but I’m gonna say this again, don’t freakin’ take Baby with you.”

“Okay.” You nod.

“But if we ever catch you sneaking out again, you’re toast, got it? This is your only warning.” Sam speaks up.

“Alright, alright. Noted.”

“You scared us, Y/N. We thought that you got kidnapped or some shit. With Lucifer being loose out there, demons always being after us, all the monsters that are out there in the night… Fuck, we were scared. We called Cas and he had to be the one to tell us that you were fine and safe, just drunk and, in his words, ‘inappropriately dancing with someone of the opposite sex.’ Which, by the way, brings us back to the question- who the hell is Jack?”

“I like Sam’s idea of saving that conversation for another day.” You laugh.

“Jesus Christ,” Dean mutters under his breath, but still audible enough for you to hear. “You’re like a mini me, aren’t you?”

“I love you guys.” You say suddenly, setting your burger down. “Seriously. I love you guys a lot. You’re like… Okay, you know I hate being sappy, but you two are like my dads, you know? After Dad left… You two really took that role and stepped up. And I never thanked you for that. And I know right now you guys probably think you’re doing a terrible job of raising me, but you’re doing a great job. Thank you. I couldn’t ask for better brothers.”

“Wow.” Sam looks at you with wide eyes, a smile forming on his lips. “You’ve never told us that before. You’ve never been a ‘feelings’ person.”

“Yeah, well, now you know. I’ll probably never say it again, so revel in it now. You’re still my lame ass older brothers.” You laugh.

“We love you too, kiddo.” Dean pats you on the back. “You’re still in trouble though.”

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