#my psych friend was like “hold on gotta analyze this YOU DIDN'T KNOW THESE THINGS??”

[adhd-mode-activate]

hmm okay so a very interesting thing is rereading Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus for the first time since I was...15 or 16 (important background: I read Heroes of Olympus twice before I ever read PJO because they were at the library and PJO wasn't)

1) I haven't actually read HoO after PJO before now. There's so much my little 10 year old self missed in The Lost Hero and didn't even realize it

2) I...love Percy a lot more now, and it's actually super therapeutic to realize this. Because when I first read HoO, I liked him but he wasn't my favorite. I thought he was a little rash. When I read PJO for the first time, I straight up didn't like Percy. Why? Because the thing I had taught myself to do with my anger and and frustration with authority figures and untreated adhd and trauma was make myself invisible. Percy was too vocal, and it scared me. Now? I have the freedom to be angry when I need to be, and I love Percy. I could do a whole post about that honestly

3) oh my gosh if I told my little preteen self, reading House of Hades for the first time, that we're an asexual biromantic who went through a whole gender crisis, she'd be so confused. Partly because I was a sheltered conservative Christian, and partly because...oh my gosh when I first read the scene with Eros (hate him so much), I was confused. "What's the big deal about having a crush on Percy? Isn't everybody equally attracted to guys and girls? Are you embarrassed because he's taken?" buries head in hands how did it take me so long to realize I was bi honestly I thought that was normal