#my phone charms are on my 3ds and switch and my hook charms are on my keyring rn!!! its very loud but i'll hang them in my ita bag
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omg i dont think ive said it here but big news im gonna get an ita bag sometime this week and i've gained a bunch of new charms and pins and silly trinkets for my shelf and my collections growing and i am so happy :]
#my sister told me i should get a peg board to hang charms up when i start building a rlly big collection and shes so right i started looking#my phone charms are on my 3ds and switch and my hook charms are on my keyring rn!!! its very loud but i'll hang them in my ita bag#i also got a boxed version of kirby super star ultra and return to dreamland and i have a princess peach and donald duck pez dispensers!! :#OOH and a princess tiana funko !!!!! im going to target later today bc there was muppet figures there!!#my sister wanted to trade my janice for a dr teeth and im cool with it bc i have a janice action figure already !#sorry for the rambling i love collecting items and trinkets it makes me very happy they mean so much to me :]]#txt#EDIT: HOW COULD I FORGET THE STICKERS. got a bunch of warioware stickers. best day of my life 2 days ago
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November ‘20
Cross Code
Cross Code is a game that is trying so very, very hard. The story is based around your character being an avatar within an MMORPG, and its this kind of game-within-a-game setup that is used as a cheeky way to skirt the fourth wall and have its characters make snide remarks at certain design decisions, while also going full steam ahead with them regardless of the fact. Don’t think we didn’t notice, dev team! It plays out as a 2D top-down action RPG, but clearly has aspirations that extend far beyond this framework. Each of its environments is thoroughly layered with subtle verticality, with parkour-esque platforming having you constantly working backwards from your intended destination, and requiring meticulous attention to detail in order to find where it is you’re able to begin your elaborate series of jumps from. There’s a huge array of materials to gather and channel through traders and to craft into gear, and the combat they benefit is both precise and complex, requiring plenty of on-the-fly thinking as well as tight execution. As well as these set-piece battles, the game’s dungeons are full of puzzles that though smart in construction, are tough enough in isolation, and frankly brutal in their relentless frequency. One particularly ill-advised chapter has a series of three such dungeons in quick succession, and perfectly illustrates that just because you can, does not mean that you should.
On a more positive note, one thing the game does have in spades is charm. The sprite work is admirable; even though characters are a touch on the tiny side to be too effective on their own, their portraits and dialogue provide a solid emotive connection to them and the story that builds up around them. In all, it is a game that can be a lot of fun, and plenty rewarding - but the entire thing is overly long and far too regularly punishing. It’s tapped into a number of 16-bit action-RPG ideas well, but has perhaps unintentionally also managed to become the most masochistic presentation of these ideas to date.
Crimzon Clover: World Explosion
A game I’ve technically owned for years now, however the lack of a Windows PC has held me back from playing it - with this debut on the Switch finally granting me the opportunity though to get hands on. Although I’d gleaned plenty from watching super players decimate it before now, even my feeble credit feeding through the game’s five stages has given me plenty of additional appreciation for just how good it is.
It looks brilliant, with chunky, detailed enemies animated beautifully as they move about the screen. The music pounds along to an energetic beat, and the game keeps a solid pace all while plenty of bullets swarm around you in creative and considered patterns. Turning the tides with Break Mode is an incredibly satisfying way to take control of hairier moments, and while I can’t speak for every intricacy of its scoring system, I know that it’s developed by a team that demonstrably understands the value of these. What I can more reliably add to that discussion is that you’re unlikely to find yourself reliant on any one hook to find your fun though; even the most pedestrian appreciator of the genre should find plenty to enjoy. Thoroughly deserving of its regular appearance alongside the biggest names in the genre.
Holovista
There’s often a reasonable amount of scepticism that comes from some folks when you talk of gaming on a mobile phone. Flipping the conversation though, and instead to talk of one of my favourite advantages of the format, it’s great that a developer can lean on the familiarity and the personal connection that you have to the device you’re playing on. As a device that lives by your side 24/7 and increasingly encroaches further into every aspect of your being, Holovista leverages this connection amazingly, spinning its story in a series of interfaces that mimic how your phone acts when you use it yourself. Taking pictures and interacting with people in particular are key interfaces, and that are done in a way that neatly puts you right into the shoes of their character.
It begins with said character taking an interview for a new job that is hoped to herald a new tide of good fortune, and promptly introduces the circle of friends that are there to help with this and that celebrate alongside. As you learn more about the job, things slowly begin to get a bit weird, and then take a turn that is something akin to Black Mirror meets nightmarish introspection. Though not overtly unpleasant, there are some memorably unsettling moments along the way. Sensibly, it does have content warnings that offer some sound advice for those it might not sit so well with, but self-care does end up being a central takeaway from the game as a whole as well as for its cast. On the back of circumstances we’ll generically chalk up to this year’s being what it is, this ended up feeling like a lovely little palate cleanser - a considered refresh, thoroughly original, and a very worthy afternoon’s entertainment.
The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening
One thing that’s always been great about Link’s Awakening came as a result of the technical limitations imposed by the Gameboy - that the Zelda format needed all the fat trimmed, while the mixture of puzzles and action were to be distilled down into their most potent and compact form. Even with the (entirely optional) extras they’ve slipped in with this remake, this still shines through in its design now, where it couldn’t be any further removed from the risks of overly long, dragged out pacing. A small overworld it may be, but it’s full of variety, secrets, and memorable moments. Dungeons are similarly economical with its good ideas - giving you new tools, laying out smart ways to break you into their use, and then letting you get on with things.
While the remastered music is also utterly charming, the real upsell here is the total visual do-over; its tilt-shifted cartoon aesthetic pushing each and every scene to look like a shiny, hyper-cute diorama. For all of the different visual styles that the series has dabbled with in the past, this one definitely feels like the right match for the light-hearted whimsy that comes through from the story and the characters. That’s not to say that it’s flawless either - the blurring at the screen’s edges can be overly intense at times, and the overall presentation does cause the performance to stutter and feel a little sluggish at times. I point at these things only given the bar is raised so - something unavoidable when you already know a game is a stone-cold classic from the off.
Astro’s Playroom
Coming pre-installed on your shiny new (and hopefully not scalped) Playstation 5 console, Playroom begins as a humble introduction to the capabilities of the Dual Sense controller. Touch control, haptic feedback, adaptive triggers and the like are introduced and may well generate some cooing and low-key positivity, however this enthusiasm is elevated by a mighty factor when the game truly begins and everything is put so deftly into practice.
It’s not a complex or particularly challenging title as far as 3D platformers go, with frequent checkpoints and no life counter in sight. Any mould-breaking to be done comes instead from the diversity in how you control various sideshows, with the entire kitchen sink’s worth of interface options being showcased as you climb into a monkey suit, blast off a rocket ship, bounce around as a pinball, and so on. All of these demonstrate ingenuity that could’ve easily gone awry, yet are quickly understood, and grounded in a level of both tactile and in-game feedback that maintains a natural feeling. The game’s worlds serve as virtual tours through colourful, fantasy depictions of hardware components that demonstrates an excellent level of both pride and playfulness, with fellow bots littering both the through-fare and the unbeaten paths, dressed up and enacting smart homage to generations of games and their characters, all while Playstation-themed collectables are doled out in tandem alongside smart, well-natured puns. It arguably borders on propaganda at times, such is the intense positivity. That said, the more extensive your tenure is with Sony’s platforms, the more likely it’ll dull your better judgement to this, instead letting slip a grin at what is essentially the grandest love letter to all things Playstation, and the warmest, most celebratory pack-in for a new console Sony could have ever hoped for.
The showcasing of new features and hardware aside, it’s also a subtle and unofficial coronation of Astrobot as Sony’s newest (and best) mascot. There’s been plenty of candidates in the past who’ve half-heartedly assumed to own the position, but it’s the silent, cheerful charm which makes Astro that much more of an endearing figurehead. G'wan the little guy.
No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle
For someone that loves Suda51 and adored No More Heroes, my reaction to No More Heroes 2 on its original release was comparatively tepid. With a third game due next year, this re-release felt like the right time to revisit it and see it through, and although I found some things to enjoy, I certainly found plenty to remind me why I had bounced off it previously.
Roaming about in Santa Destroy between missions is gone, instead replaced with a short check list of destinations. While not a fan of the change myself, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing - though it does give a misleading impression of tightened focus that is very quickly lost as it lays out a spread of half-baked, and frankly clumsy mini-games. As well as being your prime source for money and upgrades, these do a lot to artificially increase the length of the game, and put simply, they’re just not fun enough to warrant this level of prominence. Even the main story has frequent moments where it veers away from the core 3D hack and slash gameplay, and again, these do more harm than good to the game’s flow.
The fighting underpinning it all has undoubtably been done better since by any number of titles, and though imperfect, it is still serviceable and enjoyable for the most part. Boss battles definitely hold the lion’s share of the game’s highlights, but there’s a few that also stick out with some poorly executed designs that tars its lasting impression. Shades do remain of the ridiculous, irreverent charm of the first game, although they are certainly more infrequent, and a more modern lens also brings into question just how sincerely we should take the sending up of Travis, when cast upon a backdrop of frequent fanservice. Not the best sequel then, but let’s hope 3 gets things back on track.
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Sharkboy, Lavagirl, Yeast-Man, and Bacteria Boy | Jack&Parker
Summary: Jack and Parker watch a movie together, Parker is excessively awkward, don’t talk about it.
Walking down the tree-lined promenade, Jack felt very out of place. This was a nice neighborhood built for nice people, which he certainly was not. Trying not to feel too out of his depth, Jack had put on a fairly nice shirt and combed his hair. What did somebody wear to a social event based on Sharkboy and Lavagirl? "You can't grow if you don't let yourself blow," Jack whispered to himself before buzzing apartment 6C.
Did Parker wear a long sleeved shirt because Jack was coming over and he didn’t know how much one would want to lean on the other? Possibly, but he’d just say that he looked good in underarmor. He hooked his computer up to the television, which took a while since he didn’t fully understand how an HDMI cable worked. He jumped when he heard the buzzer and ran over to press his palm against the button to open the door.
Halfway up the elevator ride, Jack wished he had taken the stairs instead of sharing this small car with a stranger who was very clearly avoiding any sort of eye contact or human-to-human acknowledgment with the burn victim standing two feet away. Of course, they were both heading to the 6th floor. Sighing in relief once he stepped off the elevator, Jack waited a full 30 seconds before walking down the hall to Parker's room. Jack took a deep breath to collect himself mentally then knocked three times on the door.
Should he have done something else with his hair? Parker ran his hands through it a few times. He kind of felt like an idiot worrying about how he looked before watching Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Could he have latched onto a different thing that Jack talked about and asked him to watch that? Probably, but instead he’d chosen to watch a movie that he was pretty sure was not going to be everything he remembered it being while he was drunk from white wine. He pulled the door open and flashed a smile at Jack. “Hey!” He stood to the side so Jack could enter. “What’s up?”
Jack grinned at Parker's greeting. He stepped inside, instinctively making sure not to accidentally brush against Parker. "Uh, not much. This," Jack chuckled. The apartment was gorgeous—well kept and well decorated. Jack was used to cleanliness by way of owning few possessions. It was refreshing to a see a room that had artifacts of life and love. "Oh, this is for you." Jack pulled a pair of old Spy Kids 3D glasses from his shirt pocket and held them out toward Parker.
Parker closed the door behind Jack and smiled at him as he admired the apartment. It would be a lie for him to say that he didn’t take pride in how nice his apartment looked. He almost laughed as he took the fragile glasses and unfolded them. He felt like he could rip them in half. “Wow. I’m amazed you still have these.”
"I have a folder where I keep all my nostalgic paper stuff, like drawings or whatever. It was in there." Jack gestured toward the TV. "I like your set up. I should have brought snacks or something. Like... Shark gummies or... Lava cakes?"
“That’s so cute.” Parker exhaled a laugh. He pushed himself away from the door so he could actually move toward the couch rather than standing awkwardly in his doorway. He laughed again and shook his head. “I don’t have either of those, but if you want snacks I can grab some?”
"Uh, that's okay. I'm not really hungry, I'm just trying to be cute and thematic," he confessed. Jack took Parker's lead and sat down on the couch. "Here, let me text you the link for the movie and you can pull it up on your laptop." Jack pulled out his phone to send the text.
Parker smiled. “You’re doing a good job of it.” He raised his eyebrows a bit and nodded quickly as he moved forward to the computer. He pulled out his phone so he could tediously type in the exact link into his computer. “Funny that they have a 3D version of this movie to pirate. They assume you have the glasses?”
"It's one of those DVD rips, so I guess? Honestly I've never seen it not in 3D." Jack pulled his feet up onto the couch, sliding his feet out of his old Converse. He looked around the room again, trying to deduce which parts were Parker and which were Kieran. "You guys have a lot of DVDs."
“Uh, yeah.” Parker bobbed his head as he typed in the link and searched it. “I guess I’m just behind then? I just watched regular old disney channel.” He glanced at their collection and exhaled a laugh. “Uh, yeah, they’re all my brother’s. I bought him a few? If that counts.”
"I'm guessing none of the ones you bought were in 3D?" Jack grinned. "I didn't always have TV, so I kinda just watched whatever DVDs I could get my hands on." Jack tried intently not to stare at Parker's back muscles through the fabric of his shirt. He tugged on the sleeves of his button down, suddenly feeling awkward for picking such a formal outfit. Trying to be discreet, Jack pushed up his shirt sleeves and mussed his hair.
Parker shook his head. “I just watched whatever was on cable.” He shrugged. Did that sound pretentious? He didn’t think it did, but after Jack saying that he didn’t have TV, it seemed so. He watched as the link loaded and he had to click out of a number of unsavory ads. He didn’t normally pirate movies. He was more the type to watch whatever he could find on whatever he could legally find. He clicked the movie, then clicked it again, and then again until ads stopped popping up and he could pause it. “Um, should I let it load?”
"Uh, sure." Aw fuck. Jack hadn't prepared any topics of conversation and could feel his nerves jamming up the part of his brain that controlled his speech. "So, uh, if you could be an animal-based superhero, what would the animal be?"
Parker turned slightly, still squatting so he would be ready to play the video, though the longer he sat the longer he found it strange. “Uh...” Parker had to think about this one. “Based on personality or based on what I’d want?” Were the answers different, or was Parker trying to buy himself time?
"Uh," Jack hadn't thought it through. He didn't think that such a dumb question needed any explanation, but he was glad that Parker seemed to be taking his idea and running with it. "I guess like a combination of personality, vibe, and what you feel in your heart?"
“Um...” Parker had no idea, if he was honest. He didn’t want to seem lame, but also, he didn’t know what exactly what compromised a ‘vibe’. “Maybe, like, yeast-man? Because then I can bake bread super easily. Does that count?” He laughed. “I don’t know, I’m never good at stuff like that. What are you?”
Jack cackled. "Ew, what? Yeast Man?" Jack applauded Parker's answer. "Wait, how would that work? Would you be like, part-yeast or would you shoot yeast beams out of your body?"
Parker dropped his face into his hands, as though he only realized how dumb his answer was when Jack repeated it back to him. “Ugh, no, nevermind. Please forget I said that. Let me be bear-man or something.”
"What? No! No take-backs!" Jack was curled up in a fit of laughter. "Yeast Man is incredible! You have to own it!"
Parker felt his face grow hot under his hands and he groaned quietly. He lifted his face and peaked at Jack from between cracks in his fingers. “I just mean because I work in a bakery!”
Jack shook his head. "You don't have to explain yourself, I'm all for it. Yeast Man, protector of gluten, dual wielder of baguettes." Jack laughed at his own joke.
Parker sighed and moved to take a seat next to Jack again. “You didn’t say what you’d be.”
"Um..." Jack tapped his chin. "If we're going with this theme, I could be like, Bacteria Boy. We could form the Scoby Squad."
Parker couldn’t exactly tell why he was absolutely charmed by everything Jack said, but he pushed the feeling aside as he smiled as he ran a hand through his hair. “It’d be like Osmosis Jones.”
"Uh..." Jack wasn't sure what Osmosis Jones was but nodded anyway. "Yeah, sure," he laughed. "Oh, we could do the power rangers morphsuits and then when we tap rings we just turn into bacteria and yeast. And then that's it."
Parker groaned again and shook his head. “Please never bring up the power rangers morphsuits again, thanks.” He briefly wondered why he sounded like an idiot every time he opened his mouth.
Jack laughed. "Okay." Jack rested his chin on his knees, his arms hugging his legs. "Is it loaded?"
“Ah, yeah.” He had almost forgotten that’s why he’d paused the movie. He stood to press play before settling back down on the couch. He slid on the paper glasses and he rested his hands in his lap.
Jack smiled wide when Parker put on the glasses, but refrained from making any comment just in case Parker might get self-conscious and take them off. "I'm really hoping this movie is as good as I remembered it to be."
Parker pulled one leg up onto the couch and wrapped his arms around it. He smirked and looked at Jack. “I doubt it, but here’s hoping.”
As the opening scene came on the TV, Jack sprung up off the couch. "Uh, let me get the light." Jack circled the room flicking a few switches on and off until the room lights flickered off, leaving them lit up only by the blue light of the TV. Jack returned to the couch, sitting a little closer to the middle now, casually and discreetly.
Parker turned to watch Jack and scooted an inch closer to where he was sitting while his back was turned. He rested his right ankle over his left knee. “It’s... Woah, it’s really 3D.”
Jack chuckled. "I mean... Yeah. Did you not watch any 3D movies growing up?"
Parker shook his head. “Not at home. Just in theatres.” He pushed his glasses down his nose and came to a realization. He looked at Jack. “Is... Is this giving you a headache? We can watch a non-3D version.”
"No, that's okay!" Jack didn't want to admit how much enjoyment he was getting out of seeing Parker with the 3D glasses on. "I can like, do one of these." Jack circled his thumb and pointer fingers around his eyes like glasses.
Parker exhaled a laugh and pushed the glasses back on. He smiled and shook his head. “Okay, but tell me if you do get a headache, I don’t mind missing out on the 3D.”
"I'll let you know." Jack turned to watch the movie. It was not, in fact, as good as he remembered it to be, but Jack still found himself smiling at some jokes. Every now and then, Jack turned to watch Parker, to see his reactions, to smirk at the way he looked in the glasses. At some point Jack pulled his legs up into a criss-cross applesauce, maybe not-so-accidentally letting his knee cross over into Parker's space.
The movie was... It was something. Parker couldn’t say that he wasn’t enjoying it, but the effects and jokes were... Not great. Much less high brow than the jokes in the movies he and Kieran would watch, but that did make them easier to laugh harder at, even if it was just at how ridiculously they were delivered. He pulled his sleeve down with his thumb so it was covering half his hand, somewhat unconsciously, as he stretched his arms out behind him on the couch. He was nowhere near actually touching Jack’s shoulders, but he had a moment of faint panic as he tried to focus on a young Taylor Lautner performing his song and dance scene.
"Dream, dream, dream, dream," Jack muttered along with Sharkboy. Jack turned to look at Parker. "Is it weird to say that Sharkboy was like... My gay awakening?"
Parker choked out a laugh and covered his mouth. He looked at Jack. “I hope you mean, like, as a kid.”
“Ew, duh, of course I mean as a kid.” Jack laughed. “Unless you think I’m only just now realizing I’m a homo.”
Parker smiled and moved his hand from behind Jack to rest on the back of his own neck. “Um,” he exhaled a laugh. “It was a joke. I’m still not great at them.”
In the corner of his eye, Jack noticed Parker's hand move away from the back of the couch. For a moment, his heartbeat stumbled. "You're better than you think." Jack nestled his face in his palms and turned back toward the screen to hide the red rising in his cheeks.
Parker leaned his upper arm against the back of the couch and rested his head against his hand. He glanced at Jack and smiled at him, seemingly engrossed by the film. He turned back to the movie. “Who was your favorite character?”
Jack leaned back into the seat of the couch. "Do you mean like, in this movie? Or just in general? Because definitely Sharkboy if we're talking Sharkboy and Lavagirl."
“Because he was your gay awakening?” Parker laughed. “Do you have one in general?”
"Yes! Exactly. How could he not be my favorite?" Jack laughed. "In general though, if we're talking childhood, I'd probably have to say... Miranda Priestly?" Jack laughed again, not sure if the reference would even land with Parker. "How about you?"
Parker rested his hand on his cheek. He didn’t know who that was, so he just nodded and hoped Jack wouldn’t want to talk about it too much. “Cool. Uh, I don’t know if I have one. I probably do, but not off of the top of my head.”
Jack tapped on the couch between them, watching his fingers. "You'll have to figure it out. And then we can watch your movie next." Jack slid his hand back onto his lap. "So we're even."
Parker watched Jack’s hand for a moment before looking back at him. He felt his ears grow hot as he grinned, so he turned back to the movie. “Yeah, cool.” He couldn’t stop smiling. He moved his arm back to the back of the couch. “I can look through the movies I have here. Unless we want it to be another childhood movie.”
"Whatever you want!" Jack answered a little too quickly. He didn't want to seem too eager to spend time with Parker. Or did he? He felt his face go red again. "I just want to know what you like."
Parker continued to smile and only glanced at Jack, afraid that he might be watching him instead of the movie too much. “Um, I like watching films with my brother, but I really like funny, shitty movies like this. I mean, not that this is shitty, it’s great. It’s just... I’m enjoying it.”
Jack turned to look at Parker. "You can say the movie's shitty, Parker. I know it's shitty," he laughed. "I hope you don't, like... Think that I think this is a masterpiece."
Parker laughed and pressed his cheek into his shoulder, a bit embarrassed. “I don’t, it’s just, I don’t want you to think that I’m not enjoying it, because I am. And sometimes I’m kinda rude with what I say, I’ve been told.”
Jack grinned and shrugged. "Eh. Words are just words. Sticks and stones may break my bones but just don't burn my eye out."
“Um,” He exhaled an almost-laugh at that, feeling bad for doing so, but feeling worse if he didn’t. “Yeah.”
Jack snorted. That was the first time he had ever made a joke about the incident out loud to another person. Despite Parker's reaction, Jack still felt a little rush come on, as if he had finally released a weight he didn't know he was carrying. He pushed his fingers into his cheeks, trying to get himself to stop smiling so hard. "Sorry. Just kidding." But not really.
“Oh, yeah, I mean.” Parker shrugged. He wondered how Blue would feel about Jack sitting on his couch right now. He swallowed. “Um, I’m gonna grab water. Did you want anything?”
"Uh, water sounds great." Jack pressed his face between his hands. Oh gods, was the joke too dark? Jack exhaled, not too loudly, trying not to psych himself out. He let his feet fall back on the floor to give himself some better circulation. Jack wasn't used to feeling this many emotions at once and he needed to remind himself not to cease all autonomous bodily functions.
Parker stood and ran to grab two cups of water. He closed his eyes for a moment as he stood at the counter and sucked in a long breath, held it for a moment, and exhaled. He felt like he was doing well, but he could feel himself crashing. He swallowed and moved back to the couch. He took a seat noticeably closer to Jack this time, but still kept about half a foot between them. He held the cup out to him. “Sorry I didn’t offer this when you got here. Bad hosting on my part.”
"That's okay. Sorry about that joke, I wasn't trying to make things awkward, or like... Uh." Jack took a big sip of water and set the glass down on the floor in front of them. He shook his head. "We're both pretty shitty at words, I guess," Jack offered meekly.
Parker sipped his water and shook his head. “No, no, it’s fine, just, unexpected, I guess.” He shrugged and put his water down as well. “God, yeah. I called myself yeast-man earlier. I thought that was an appropriate thing to say.”
"I still do. I don't know why you wouldn't think that's an appropriate thing to say." Jack smiled at Parker. "Since you're a baker and all."
Parker dropped his head as he laughed quietly. He folded his hands in his lap. There were moments when he was overwhelmed by how much he liked Jack, and in this particular one, he felt almost guilty about it, like it was a mistake having him here. He forced the thought away and sat back. “I guess you’re right, bacteria boy.”
Jack chuckled, exhaling a sigh of relief. The conversation was back on track. He folded his arms across his chest and sat back, leaning ever so slightly in Parker's direction. Jack had forgotten entirely about the movie but he forced himself to look at the screen to avoid the risk of making any more awkward jokes.
Parker moved his legs up to criss-cross on the couch, his knee inches away from Jack’s leg. He rested his hand in his lap and didn’t look at his leg. “Um, do you watch a lot of movies?”
"Uh, yeah." Jack answered the question absentmindedly, not sure if he was telling the truth or not. His eyes had fallen to the small distance between his leg and Parker's, and his mind was singularly focused on deciding whether to close the gap. "I've been watching a lot of shitty 80's horror movies lately. Like, summer camp slashers and that kind of thing. How about you?"
Parker pushed the glasses to sit more securely on his nose. “I’m not really a horror guy? But it might be because I don’t watch any. I watch, like, early French cinema. Like, pre-Nouvelle Vague and it’s all in black and white. I watch some Spanish movies too. My brother’s really into film.”
"Oh my gods, you're, like, sophisticated." Jack laughed. "Do you speak French and Spanish? Because that's... Kinda hot."
Parker laughed. “I’m not, it’s all Kieran’s influence. I never really watch movies on my own. Don’t know why.” He bit his lip and smiled. “Ha, yeah. You know, romance languages. Pretty neat trick, I guess.”
"Wow. Really neat." Jack let his hand slide to the side of his knee, occupying the small space between them. "Can you, like... Tell me something in French?"
Parker glanced down at Jack’s hand and turned to look at him. “Do you speak French?” He tilted his head.
"Not even a little bit." Jack smiled.
Parker smiled back. “Je te trouve très mignon, Jacques.”
Jack bit his lip, grinning from ear to ear. "Um... Something, something, steak, Jacques?"
Parker smiled and rested his hand on the back of the couch again. “You got the jist of it.” He pressed his cheek to his shoulder again.
Jack gave a small chuckle and looked back at the screen. Lips pressed together, Jack held his breath and reached his pinky out to touch Parker's knee.
Parker watched Jack’s hand when he felt him poke his knee. He didn’t move his head, hoping that the glasses would somewhat cover his eyes. “Do you speak anything but English?”
"Uh, I don't." Jack retreated his pinky to his own leg. "Just 100% English and bullshit for me."
Parker let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when Jack pulled his pinky away. “Ah, I can always help you if you wanted to learn French or Spanish. I think when I speak French, you can tell I knew Spanish first.” He pulled a face.
"Sure, yeah. I don't think I'll be any good, I've never really learned any sort of language before, but I'm down to try." I'll take any excuse to hang out again. "If it makes you feel better, I definitely couldn't tell."
Parker grinned. He’d successfully managed to get Jack to agree to hanging out after this. “That’s good, it means my accent’s getting better.” He looked at the hand behind Jack and played with the hem of his sleeve. “I’m not the best teacher, so we’ll see if I’m any better than Duolingo.”
"Well, I'd rather learn from you than an owl." Jack pulled his feet back up onto the sofa, hugging his knees and curling up again.
“I can French better than an owl.” Parker smirked at his stupid joke and looked back at the screen.
Jack propped his chin up on his knees and did his best to focus on watching the rest of the movie. Whenever the 3D became tiring to look at, Jack would drop his eyes to the floor or steal small glances at Parker.
Parker stayed somewhat amused by the effects and storyline. He looked at Jack again as Max and Linus fought with brains. “Do you think this is what it’s like when the Morpheus cabin gets upset with each other?”
Jack laughed. “Like a pillow fight but with brains?” He looked over at Parker with a smirk. “You should give them the idea for the next time they fight with the emo guy.”
Parker laughed. “I hear they’re apparently fine with just punching him?” He shrugged. “I really like Lavagirl. I think she was my favorite when I was younger too.”
"Wait," Jack turned to Parker. "You've seen this movie before?"
“Yeah.” Parker nodded. “I watched it a bunch, just never in 3D.”
"And you watched the whole thing again right now?" Jack laughed, clapping a hand over his face. "Oh my gods, I thought this whole time you hadn't seen this movie before. I wouldn't have tortured you with it if I had known!"
Parker shook his head. “No, no, I thought I told you!” He shrugged, smiling. “This isn’t torture. I’m having a great time.”
"Ugh. Good." Jack's cheeks flushed red, but he was smiling ear to ear. "I'm... Also having a great time."
Parker ran a hand through his hair and shifted slightly closer to him. “Good. I’m glad you’re not regretting letting me watch something in 3D while you... Don’t.”
Jack laughed. "I mean, I can't watch 3D anyway." He gestured vaguely at his face. "It would just be all red."
Parker nodded. “Ah, yeah, I figured. Thanks for... Letting me experience it? Sorry you got shafted though.” He pointed at his own right eye. “Is this one red?”
Jack smiled. "Um, yeah. You can't see it?" Jack reached out and held his hand in front of Parker's left eye, careful not to touch Parker's face. "See?"
Parker held his breath as Jack reached toward his face. He shook his head ever so slightly. “I’m, uh, colorblind.”(edited)
Jack clapped his hands over his mouth. "Oh my gods, please don't tell me I just made you watch a movie you couldn't see."
Parker laughed and shook his head. “No, I’ve been able to see fine. I just don’t know what color everything is. Like, I kinda do? Just, not fully.”
"Okay, thank gods," Jack laughed. "Um... Do you have a favorite color then?"
Parker shrugged. “Probably red? I don’t know.” He laughed. “Do you?”
"Wait, I'm confused." Jack paused. "So you can see red?"
Parker shook his head. “Well, a little? I can tell what it is sometimes? Against other colors, most of the time? But people say I look good in red, so I like red.”
"Huh." Jack sat back and looked at Parker for a moment. "Yeah, I can see that." I mean, you'd look good in every color, he thought. "I think my favorite color would probably be like... Black. At least if we're going with the clothes."
Parker laughed. “That’s a goth answer, but it fits, I also like blue.”
"Ugh, black looks good on everybody, okay?" Jack laughed. "Blue is such a straight boy color. Very American."
Parker laughed. “Okay, so I like blue and I’m straight but you get to like black even though it looks good on everyone?”
Jack laughed. "Uh, duh. Black is inclusive. You mix all the crayons together and you get black. Blue is like, the color that Danny Rinaldi hoarded in 1st grade because blue was for boys only."
Parker didn’t understand half of the references that Jack made, but figured he should probably find them funny. “Shut up.” He grinned. “It doesn’t matter, I can’t see it right anyway.”
"Sorry," Jack held up a hand in surrender. "You're right, I shouldn't mock the color blind."
Parker shook his head. “It’s fine, I don’t mind when you make fun of me.” He paused. He couldn’t tell if that was a lie. “That much.”
"Um," Jack wore a look of amused skepticism. "I don't think I believe that Mr. Parker Porsche Valentine."
“Shut up.” Parker repeated and ran a hand over his face. “Okay, forget I said anything.”
Jack laughed. "Sorry." He bit his lip and looked back at the screen. "I just, like, talk a lot of shit. I'm not—you're not actually... You know." Jack decided to stop talking before he accidentally shaded Parker again.
Parker laughed and shook his head. "Ugh, no, I was kidding." He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't mind, I don't. I'm just sensitive. I think the Porsche thing is funny, I swear."
Jack snorted. "Ugh, these mixed signals. I can't."
Parker dipped his head and laughed. "I just think you're funny, that's it."
"Good. I am." Jack was beaming, his entire face bright red. He wondered if Parker would be able to tell through the 3D glasses.
Parker exhaled a laugh. "You are," he agreed. He looked at Jack and smiled at him before looking back at the movie. "I can't believe you thought I never saw this movie. It's like you thought I never had a childhood."
"I don't know! Some people are just, like, sheltered. I never saw Toy Story until like..." Jack scrolled back through his memories. "I... Don't think I've seen Toy Story."
Parker shrugged. “I don’t think the movies are that good?” He sighed. “Please don’t tell anyone that, though. They’ll probably yell at me about their childhood or something.”
"People are too sensitive about childhood stuff. It's like—I was just a snotty kid with two thumbs, I would've taken anything my mom put in front of me."
Parker smiled. “Same. I think it’s only when you start, like, actively choosing things for yourself that it matters.”
"Yeah," Jack smiled at Parker, his eyes lingering on Parker a little too long before flickering back to the screen. "And we chose Sharkboy and Lavagirl anyway."
“Yeah.” Parker smiled at Jack even when he looked away from him. He looked back at the screen after a moment. “The best movie.”
Jack's cheeks were aching from how much he had been smiling. As the final battle began wrapping up, Jack suddenly realized the window of time for an super casual movie cuddle was quickly closing. The butterflies in Jack's ribcage had evolved into bottle rockets. As subtly as he could, Jack leaned slightly more in Parker's direction, trying to minimize the space between them without making any obvious moves.
Parker couldn’t tell if Jack was actually moving closer to him or if he was just sinking into the couch. He wrapped his hand around his sleeve, what he’d kind of been preparing for. His heart skipped a beat in his chest. He felt like he was in middle school. He kept his arm on the back of the couch, but moved it slightly closer to Jack’s shoulders.
Jack felt Parker move slightly on the couch beside him and his heart lurched. With a little more confidence and intentionality now, Jack scooted an inch in Parker's direction until he felt his shoulder brush against Parker's body. Jack's breath was completely still.
Parker stopped as soon as Jack was barely touching him. He didn’t know how close he’d have to get to make Jack pull away. He didn’t put his arm around Jack, but turned his arm so his elbow was slightly against his back. A bit awkward, but enough contact to send shocks up Parker’s arm. He felt like an idiot. He kept his eyes glued to the screen.
Jack didn't quite settle into the position, but stayed frozen there. What the fuck is this right now? He was afraid of being too forward but too far in to turn around now. As the final scene flickered onscreen, Jack remained half-touching, half-not, his heart thunderously pounding in his chest all the while.
Parker closed the space between them, pressing his side into Jack’s. He clenched his jaw and kept his eyes on the screen.
Jack could have squealed. In fact, he had to bring a hand up to cover his mouth to stop the intense urge to giggle. Jack silently cursed his instinct to laugh in times of nervousness and intimacy. He tried his best to breathe deep and enjoy the sensation, but very quickly, the movie ended and the credits already began rolling onscreen. Oh, fuck you Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Jack sat still, waiting to see what Parker would do.
Parker pressed his lips together and closed his eyes, chest tight for a moment. He tilted his head back and laughed before turning to look at Jack fully, his face hot. "Apparently this movie has me acting like I'm in middle school. Is it cool if I have my arm around you?"
Jack laughed in return. “So cool.” Fully beaming, Jack nestled a little closer into Parker.
Parker draped his arm around Jack much less awkwardly, happy that he'd worn the long sleeved shirt to make that possible. He felt a bit awkward just staring at the credits roll across the scene, and finally took his glasses off. He folded them and held them back out to Jack. "Oh, here. I almost forgot I had these on. Next time we can watch something that you can actually see."
Jack laughed, taking the glasses. "Thanks." He let them fall onto his lap for the time being, not wanting to adjust just to slide them into his shirt pocket. "I guess they didn't make old French movies in 3D?"
"You know, surprisingly, they don't. I think me and my siblings should wear the glasses next movie night, though. Great accessories."
Jack gasped and nudged Parker’s leg with his own. “Parker Valentine, trendsetter. I’d die.”
Parker pressed his lips together to keep himself from smiling too much at Jack’s leg against his own. He wasn’t sure if he was more or less satisfied now that Jack was pressed against his side. “My family already makes fun of me for how I dress, couldn’t get much worse.”
"They're just jealous." Jack folded his arms across his chest and let his head fall back onto Parker's arm. He closed his eyes, wishing he could screenshot the way he felt in this moment.
Fuck. Parker almost felt like yelling. Jack was so cute and so close and yet... He scanned his eyes over Jack's features. He turned his head to press a quick kiss to his own shoulder and then leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "Yeah, probably." he sighed.
For a second, Jack thought he heard... “Did you just...” He hadn’t felt anything, so he second guessed himself and decided not to finish asking the question.
Parker shook his head, doing an awful job at pretending he didn't know what Jack was talking about. "I didn't do anything." He squeezed his eyes shut and wished for a moment he could act like a normal person.
Jack chuckled. His heart was pounding out of his chest and not even Parker’s awkward quirks could stifle the amount of joy he was feeling in the moment. Jack shut his eyes once more, smiling ear to ear.
#c: parker#c: parkerjack#i urge you all not to read this bc....... parker is SO WEIRD#don't talk to me abt it
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Sits Like a Whore But Wears Pearls
Author’s note: This is for the Kate’s Card Against Humanity Challenge My prompt was: clothes off, penis in vagina. (it’s bolded) This may also be my longest fic. Warning: Swearing, the use of the word whore, but it’s used making fun of the way Tom sits. Mention of sex
@emilyevanston
“Tom I’ve been thinking.” Holly puts down the cup of tea, acrylic nails tapping the sides of the cup.
“That’s a dangerous hobby of yours, considering the last time that happened I was picking out glitter from my stubble not ever really a beard.” Tom put aside the phone he was tapping away on answering emails.
“You made a lovely fashion statement with a teal glitter beard. It went nicely with your eyes. Your beautiful eyes aside I’ve been thinking about you telling everyone about us.”
“Second thoughts?” He asks.
Holly shakes her head. The two of them have been together for almost a year and are living together, if she has a problem with the relationship she would have told him by now. The sneaking around in her mind was getting a little tedious.
“No, it’s just let me see your hands.” Tom obliges and she takes his hands, surveying them. From a nail tech perspective, his nails weren’t in the worst shape she’s ever seen but they were close.
“Yup that’s what I thought.” Holly drops his hands.
“What? Are my nails going to fall off?” Tom looks at his own nails.
“Your cuticles look like a small woodland creature gnawed on them.” Holly bluntly replies going back to her tea.
“And that matters to you…” He arches a brow confused. Tom’s nails aren’t a part of his body that he knows people like to see.
“Tom, if people see you with bad nails, they may think I’m a bad nail artist.” Holly explains simply.
Tom starts laughing from behind his hand then says, “That’s adorable and so innocent that you think during an interview people are looking at my hands.”
Holly smirks “They might if you not sit like a whore.”
“There’s the Holly I know and love.” Tom moves his legs so he’s sitting beside her in his whore-like fashion.
“So, what are you going to say exactly.” Holly asks biting her lip in an effort not to laugh at him.
“How’s this, I like to keep my private life to myself but I will say that I have an incredible girlfriend named Holly. She’s an amazing nail artist who also gave me a manicure before the interview so my nails don’t look busted. Wiggle nails around.” Tom says laying it on thick.
“Pretty good, I mean you probably don’t want talk about us intimately.” Holly sips her tea.
“That’s right.” Tom hooks a leg around her.
“No juicy details? “Holly asks” No mention of clothes off, penis in vagina sex.”
“Nope, amongst other things I won’t talk about.” Tom smirks trying not to turn pink.
“Like me falling while trying to strip on your birthday.” Holly shakes her head at the memory.
After that came the utterly embarrassing trip to A&E. She left with a small splint on her broken toe, and matching cast on her badly sprained ankle.
“Exactly, even though I’m not quite sure how one trips over their own pants.” He smirks.
“Laugh at me all you want, just wait here. I’ll get my nail stuff.” Holly gets up unhooking his leg.
“This won’t hurt, will it?” Tom yells after her.
“No, and when have I ever hurt you?” Holly yells her answer.
“You sprayed hair spray in my eyes and then there was the stud incident or the time…” Tom goes on about the many fails.
“Okay I get it. You are the victim of many fashion based experiments, but I promise this won’t hurt one bit.” Holly reenters the room with a large box and a small dryer.
“You know my sister are very excited to meet you.” Tom watches as she opens the box, all the colors differ slightly of a grey beige to a pink nude. This must be one of the boxes she has devoted to nudes.
“They want me to do their nails, right.” Holly quirks her eyebrow up.
“Yep.” Tom pops the p.
“And your mom?” She asks mentally penciling them in to her schedule of clients.
“I might have told her about your side job as a hairstylist, with your specialty in coloring.” He watches again as she pulls out a long box with many openings containing different gemstones. These might be useful.
“What does she want?” Holly asks.
“Uh.” Tom tries to remember.” She said hot fudge highlights.”
“Caramel highlights.” Holly guesses.
“Yeah, that. Afterwards I really wanted ice-cream.” Tom watches closely as he sees her get the out the nail tools, all he could describe them as is torture devices, there’s the sharp stick, a pair of scissors, two types of plier looking things, and a silicone thing on a stick that looks like a tiny baking spatula.
“Did you go to the place by the bakery that I love without me?” She asks.
“No, I would never, how dare…yeah I did.” Tom dramatically answers with a small grin.
Holly used to his theatrics asks the real question. “What did you get?”
“Pistachio, and caramel sauce.” He watches her wipe down the tools with an antiseptic wipe.
“I will never not judge you for your ice cream preferences.” Holly opens another box and chooses two small bottles, the label worn of years ago.
“Do you judge all your clients flavor preferences?” He asks getting comfortable.
“Nope you’re just special.” Holly winks getting out a large tube of something that Tom has no idea what it is.
“Are you going to paint on a color, some piece of art, a charm or just clear?” He asks, if they were going to do this, he might as well have something memorable.
“Do you want that?” She asks eyebrow quirking again.
“Might as well go all out.” Tom answers coolly.
“Don’t worry, you’re going to an interview. I’ll make sure it’s classy.” Holly gets out the glass files with a red tip to it.
“What do you do first?” Tom begins asking questions.
“Shape your nails.” Holly starts with filing switching between two files.
“And then.”
“Get rid of your cuticles.” She uses the mysterious squeeze bottle and puts some of the liquid on his nails. Holly rubs it all around the bottom of his nail.
“Next.”
“Buff.” She picks out a large pink block of what feels like sandpaper to buff the nails.
“And…”
“Now the strengthening base.” Holly takes a small bottle out of base coat for your nails. The only thing Tom can read on the bottle is rose oil.
“With rose oil. What does the rose oil do?” He asks.
“Prevents hang nails and damage of the nail. The oil is also good for your hair and face, but your hair is too late for that.” Holly ruffles his hair.
“I really don’t need another forty-five-minuet lecture on dying my hair too much for roles.” Tom replies as she rolls the nail polish bottle in between her hands.
“All I ask is that you use a replenishing hair mask for when the role is finished.” She begins painting on the rose oil base.
“Let’s focus on the nails, then I’ll think about asking you for help with my hair.” Tom replies not wanting another hair dye incident or worse glitter.
“It’s a deal.” She puts Tom’s hand under a dryer for a few minutes.
“Oh, that’s actually like a nude color.” He notices the nude color she’s about to paint on his nails.
“Yep, but that’s not all don’t worry. You will get nail art just stay still.” She starts painting the nude color on.
“What kind.” He asks wanting to get to the fun part.
“Classy with a hint of sexy.” She puts his left hand in the dryer while starting on his other hand.
“So lace.” He guesses.
“And dots.” She checks on the left hand.
“Boring.” He mutters.
“Okay then let’s break out some pearls, then. Two accent nails not just one. How about that?” She pauses the painting and pours out some pearls from the gem container.
“Much better, I think.” He answers as she begins doing the lattice work in white on his nails.
“It’ll look good, don’t worry. You can wear this manicure with everything.” Holly answers the one thing question Tom wasn’t wondering.
“How many nails like this do you do?” He asks since she painted his thumb very quickly.
“Depends on when the local school has their prom?” She answers starting on another nail.
“I’m getting prom nails.” Tom laughs imaging himself in a roomful of girls getting ready for a school prom.
“Yeah or wedding, really any big classy event.” She starts adding the dots below the lattice pieces.
“You’re cute when you’re concentrating.” He smiles still watching her nose scrunch up like a rabbit.
“Then I must look gorgeous.” She says not looking up from the nails, letting one hand dry while working on the other.
“Always do.”
“That’s super cheesy and I can’t swat at you without messing this up so just know I’m mentally smacking you.” Holly rolls her eyes gently placing the pearls on the accent nails in neat little rows. “Noted.”
“I think I’m done but we have to move them to the dryer carefully.” She takes both of his hands gently and place them in the dryer careful to not move any of the pearls.
“Alright, so now we wait.” Holly flicks on the television to a tennis match for him. It wasn’t her sport of choice but she doesn’t hate it.
“Yep, and I’m going to take a picture.” Holly says as Tom’s eyes are glued to the tennis match.
“For?” He asks not looking away.
“My portfolio, I show it to clients and take it with me for the art shows.” Holly finishes her tea and cuddles up to him, if he could move his hands he’d have his arms around her.
“Where are these nail art shows?” His attention briefly caught.
“All over the world, I only just started going to a few in London.” Holly smiles. This means more traveling and hopefully more time spent traveling with Tom.
“What kind of nails can you do?” He asks as Holly pulls his out of the dryer to check them.
“All kinds, the simple ones like on my hands, 3d ones like yours, I also do long acrylics, some gel.” Holly says putting the nails back in the dryer. She wiggles her own acrylics painted red.
“Could you make Loki nails?” Tom asks as though he’s planning something.
“Do you want me to do your nails for the premiere?” Holly guesses the plan then pulls out his nails from the dryer. “These are done.”
“Depends on how people like these.” Tom wiggles his fingers.
“Of course, if Chris and Mark want to, I could do their nails as well.” Holly smiles thinking of what would happen if she had the three of them in the same nail shop.
“Nope, they have to find their own. Not sharing you.” Tom kisses her forehead now that he’s free.
“Baby, you sound like the snobby housewives whose nails I paint. They’ve all laid a claim on me. When they all book times close together it’s better than watching the Ladies of London.” Holly rolls her eyes.
“They have a reason to, you’re good.” Tom relaxes into the couch, spreading his legs placing his hands in between.
“Sits like a whore but wears pearls.” Holly mutters cleaning up her makeshift nail station.
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A Lesson Plan for Videogame Archaeology in the Museum
By Adrián Maldonado
I didn’t wake up that morning thinking I’d be playing an original Street Fighter II Championship Edition arcade console in just a few hours. It turned out to be a very good day.
So I was on Long Island recently for our annual, far-too-short family visit to America. It was also my daughter’s second birthday but it was raining and we needed an indoor activity. She loves planes, trucks and trains, and we were assured that the Cradle of Aviation Museum in Garden City has all that plus good hands-on activities and a toddler room. We were not disappointed on any of those fronts.
But unbeknownst to us, the Cradle of Aviation Museum also has a major videogame history exhibition on at the moment. And this was no ordinary rinky-dink travelling exhibit. I’m talking all the consoles, or at least 60 different ones, all playable, alongside some 30 original arcade cabinets. Whose birthday was it again?
It’s been a minute since my last post, so get ready for a nerd onslaught. This post will attempt three things: a straightforward review of a videogame history exhibit; some sense of the wider context within videogame museums I’ve been to recently; and finally, something a bit different: a lesson plan for teaching kids about videogames in the museum. I should probably change the blog title to Things No One Asked For, Ever, but in the meantime, do enjoy the blatant work avoidance.
Capsule review
This exhibit is actually a sequel. It began life as a temporary event called The Arcade Age in December 2015, which focused on recreating the experience of arcade gaming using some 50 playable cabinets. The recreated arcade was only accessible in three daily 90-minute sessions. The layout showed the influence of superhero arcadologist Raiford Guins, who was consulted for this exhibit, in its attention toward recreating the dark, cramped, noisy ambiance of an arcade. Judging by photos of the original exhibit, it also had a cool sideline on related material culture like Street Fighter II action figures and Pac-Man lunchboxes. It originally ran through April 2016, and was then extended to September 2016.
After its success, it was redesigned as a more comprehensive exhibition, From the Arcade to the Living Room: A Video Game Retrospective 1972-1999 in November 2016, now including a full history of home gaming consoles alongside a reduced but still impressive list of arcade cabinets. The website doesn’t say whether this will become a permanent exhibit, but they are selling season tickets for hardcore gamers until December 2017. It was this exhibition I stumbled upon one fateful day in June.
Wall of ancestors
The games are laid out in roughly chronological order, beginning with the carcass of a Computer Space cabinet from 1971 at the start. Curator Seamus Keane has been damn near exhaustive, going beyond the usual focus on ‘Golden Age’ arcade games and providing real working examples of lesser-performing systems like the Neo-Geo and the Atari Jaguar. Fulfilling the dream of a 90s indoor kid, it was perhaps the first and last time I’ll ever play a CD-I and a 3DO (note to me 25 years ago: neither was worth the wait).
Besides the snippets of information provided next to each console, historical context was a bit light and there was no clear aim or agenda for the exhibition. Media surrounding the opening fleshed it out a little more, but not much: for curator Keane, it was “a concept I had in my head of telling what I felt was somewhat of a lost history about the social culture and the popular culture, as well as the technological history of the arcade game itself and of the arcade as a social setting.” Hope you caught all that between rounds of Marvel Vs Capcom.
There were only a few thematic displays but they worked well – a wall of ephemera included a Nintendo Power Pad, several strategy guides and a Game Genie (!). A wall display on the Great Video Game Crash of 1983 included a screen playing the documentary Atari: Game Over (2014) next to an Atari 2600 with an ET cartridge you could load yourself, a crucial part of the home gaming experience you rarely get to experience in a museum setting. A cabinet of dead peripherals was also eye-opening in an unexpected way; the juxtaposition of Sega 3D Glasses and a Sega Dreamcast mouse from a decade apart made me think of how Sega was so often ahead of its time, and yet somehow lost the console wars. In the tech world, it doesn’t always pay to be first.
Videogames in the Museum
Touch the artefacts
I’ve been to several videogame museum exhibitions now (and even some videogame museums!) and can confidently say that this was one of the most fun. There was a wall of NES games and a wall of Atari games, but the core of the arcade was in a long, low-ceilinged dark hall. There, the half-assed display cards dwindled to a minimum and the game was the thing. Original cabinets, many of them with fucked-up decals from years of play, were ready to rock, no MAME here. Aside from the usual Golden Age of Arcade stuff, there were plenty of classic 90s cabinets from my era, and even some left-field entrants like Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker, which I thought was a masterpiece when I first played it in 1990 and has accrued tremendous baggage since then.
Best of all was the chronological row of home gaming consoles buried deep in the bunker-like arcade hall. Here in glowing cubicles of glass but not out of reach were the venerated SNES and Genesis games of my formative years, alongside the also-rans like the Sega Saturn. I showed my 2 year-old daughter her first game of Super Smash Bros for the N64. She picked up the control and held it up to her ear like a phone. I have never loved her more.
The ragtag army of 90s CRT veterans
Each console was hooked up to a full-on CRT TV, no messing about with flatscreens, as I’ve groaned about previously. As the exhibition website puts it, they are “all on old school TV tubes!” Each TV was different from the next one, as they had clearly been scavenged piecemeal from various Long Island attics. Some had flatter screens, some bulged out lewdly, but all were hard-bitten survivors from the 90s. They are the real heroes here.
How does this rate? While the Computerspielemuseum in Berlin clearly wins out in almost every way in terms of playability, historical context and design, there was something about the scale of the recreated arcade and lack of interpretation here that charmed me. As Guins has pointed out, the material presence of the cabinets and the consoles are part of the gameplay; they are designed to draw you in and beg you to grab them, and whatever their flaws, their physical interfaces shape how the game is played.
Beyond Retro-Nostalgia: A Lesson Plan
Ready player one
At one point I was able to play technician: I was able to revive a blank TV screen by switching it to channel 3. I felt like a wise elder. I also may have felt very old because I was surrounded by schoolkids. It was a weekday, and we shared the exhibit with a group of fifth-graders (Year 6 for UK readers). For once, it was genuinely interesting to share a museum with a school trip. There have always been children in the videogame exhibitions I’ve visited previously, but they’re always there with their aging nerd parents (of which I am now very much a number). It is certainly worth recording the stories told to a new generation about their cultural heritage. But it was enlightening in a different way to hear what kids said to one another when playing these games.
What I heard blew my mind. I was playing the Double Dragon (1987) arcade cabinet (I’d only ever played the NES version, so this was very exciting indeed), when two boys walked behind me – one of them said to the other, “Double Dragon! I love that game!” How did he know? What else did he know? Has the Internet already made everyone like Wade from Ready Player One? Other kids swapped stories about the games they’d tried, and I felt almost compelled to start writing these candid observations down. They were like little archaeologists unearthing the artefacts of my past and puzzling over what they might mean – but also making more interesting connections with recent games than I could with my nostalgia specs on.
On my way out I ran into one of the schoolteachers and thanked her for taking the kids here, and congratulated her on how well-behaved they all seemed to be even though they were surrounded by a hundred flashing screens. I asked whether this was part of a specific class, and she said no, they usually take the kids to the Cradle of Aviation Museum because science and whatnot, but they dropped into the arcade exhibition because it was there. I asked if they would follow it up in class at all, and she said no.
The Atari Jaguar: and alternate future of 64-bit gaming
That struck me as a bit of a missed opportunity. Here were a few dozen kids having a great time in a museum, handling the technological ancestors of their favourite devices and games. The kids I heard were knowledgeable about videogames, native to them. For all the action in teaching history through videogames, there are no easily accessible resources out there to teach videogames as rare artefacts of a meaningful past. In what other museum exhibition are you allowed to handle, let alone grab and generally get all up in, the archaeology? What better way to learn than by playing?
Don’t get me wrong – museums with videogame exhibitions often provide their own series of educational resources and programmes for school visits, but a quick and very unscientific search shows little coherent agenda for dealing with the historicity of videogame and the material cultures of gaming. As more videogames end up in museums, we do the next generations a real disservice if the whole message is just about how videogames used to be pixellated and now they’re not. The game is not just the visual but the physical, and every console and medium enabled and constrained ways of playing, creating cultures of gaming. To get beyond nostalgia, we need to draw out the untold stories which will engage kids who are playing these objects for the first time.
There’s at least a PhD thesis in here
Digital archaeology guru Jeremy Huggett recently reminded us about the need to deal with the historicity of technology: as the workings of our gadgets inexorably disappear into smaller and more efficient packages, we know less about how our devices work, and think little about why they are built the way they are. So break open a few controllers and cartridges to teach the history of computing. We assume a linear progression from worse to better technology on the basis that the invisible hand of the market chose the best products over time. So tell the story of the Sega Dreamcast, recognised for its merits only long after its demise. The market of ideas is always in conflict with the actual market, and real innovation is always pitted against the chance for real profit. Teach the Great Video Game Crash and its mountain of destroyed cartridges; debate the value of excavating the recent past, and what else of theirs will remain to be excavated.
It’s not all about the tech, either. You don’t have to wait for Assassin’s Creed: Cuban Missile Crisis to teach kids about the Cold War and why we’re (still) not playing nice with Russia. You can start with games like Contra and Missile Command and talk about ways in which war found its way even into children’s bedrooms in the 1980s. Maybe have a frank discussion about all those Battlefield games they’re playing now. Play the first ten seconds of Double Dragon to introduce the term ‘toxic masculinity’.
There’s a million ways to sneak learning into a trip to the arcade. Teach the kids how to critically read the artefacts; what could be more archaeological?
More photos here.
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Steering The Provider’s First 10.
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