#my phone camera is really blurry (maybe not my phone's fault. i have shaky hands) but i want to take pictures of the stuff i got in japan so

[bonni]

pictures + a phone charm from the bunkyo hydrangea festival 😊

[wdwmarveldisney]

She’s gone

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Summary: Peter and reader are dating when she finds out she has hodgkin lymphoma and makes a few videos for Peter.

Masterlist

A/N: I don’t know why I wrote this but I did. I was also emotional when doing so, so that’s probably why it turned into angst. This idea has probably been done before but eh.

Tw: Talks about Hodgkin Lymphoma (a type of cancer) and death of a character.

(Gif isn’t mine)

The camera was unfocused, the bright light that shone in the background making her a blurry silhouette. Slowly everything became clear, the girl in the driver's seat tapping her fingers on the steering wheel and staring ahead. From what was passing by the window, the people seemed to be in the middle of nowhere, passing the nothingness as they went. The last few seconds of a song faded out and another began, the girl immediately smiling to herself and reaching it over to turn it up and scream the lyrics. For You by Why Don't We was a great song but not exactly the best with her out of tune screams of the words. "HEY! SHE SAID 'I REALLY MISS THE OLD YOU'! THEN FOUND SOMEONE BETTER!" A laugh had escaped the lips of whoever filming, camera shaking as the girl finally turned to face them. "Peter, put it away! I swear to fucking god!" She reached over, the car seeming swerving every so slightly making Peter laugh at her panicked expression. "Stop being such a dick! Stop recording!"

"No, it was adorable," Finally Peter spoke before the camera flipped and moved so both of them could be seen. His eyes were practically glowing in the light, his brown hair reflecting in such a way the ends looked golden. He pouted slightly at her when she held up her middle finger to him. "Fuck you Parker," her little annoyed mutter made him smile as he faced her, intertwining their fingers and resting them on the compartment in between. "You do," the girl's jaw literally dropped as she glanced between him and the road, stuttering out responses that were really just noises strung together to make up nothing translatable. Peter's laugh echoed once more but this time his grin was captured in the shot too. It was wide and as bright as the light that filled up the car with this vintage kind of vibe. Finally, his laughter subsided, his eyes going to her and then the camera. "Anyways, I'm recording because I think it's cool to document moments like this. So future us and anybody else watching this video, me and my wonderful girlfriend here," she pulled a stupid face to the camera, tongue sticking out and nose scrunching up, before looking back to the road, "Are on a road trip. We just visited her extended family and are on our way back to her apartment where her mum is waiting and the roads are basically empty,"

"And Peter almost killed my grandma!" This time his jaw dropped, a blush making its way to his cheeks as he shook his head repeatedly. "I didn't, I swear. All that happened was that I gave her a hug and with my super strength, it hurt her like a tad," she shook her head this time, looking to the camera as she spoke, "She has bruises," Peter had a guilty and sorry expression on his face that made her laugh as she continued, "And yet, he still got more birthday cake then me. On my birthday!" They both laughed this time, the camera zooming in on her perfect grin before the video ended.

~

This time, the camera was on Peter who sat leaning against the headboard of a bed on his phone, no doubt scrolling through some form of social media. The camera was moved so it became propped up against something and once again the same girl was in the shot, sitting next to Peter whilst glancing between his screen and his concentrated look. She moved to rest her head in his lap, the boy moving the phone to see her cheeky smile. He grinned back, turning his phone off and immediately playing with a strand of her hair. "Hi," she mumbled and it seemed to make his grin go wider as he leaned down and pecked her lips, "Hey," the girl sat up and reached over to the camera to stop the video, Peter's arm going round her waist as she did so.

~

It was the same place as before where the camera was propped up except this time it looked like a sunset or sunrise, Peter sleeping whilst his girlfriend filmed herself. "Hey Pete. Okay so, I want to just quickly point out how fucking adorable you are for starters," her hushed tone was a clear sign that she didn't want to wake him up but the over the top pointing could of easily hit him in the face. "But what I really wanted to do is say I love you. I've got a secret from you but by the time you see this, you'll know and so this is just me, telling you again, I guess. I know I'll tell you soon because I can't lie to you," tears had welled up in her eyes, a small sniffle being heard as she faced the sleeping Peter, "Oh god. I don't want to leave. You deserve so much better than this. Ok," she took one deep breath, calming herself as she looked to the camera again, new tears already flooding down her face like an overfilled river. "Um, I recently found out that I, er, I have," there was a pause, the next bit being too hard to say, "I have hodgkin lymphoma. It's a, um, a type of cancer," she took a shaky breath, her focus on her fingers that had reached across to a sleeping Peter's hand and began to fiddle with his, "And I'm having treatment but, it's bad," Peter began to stir and she had been quick to wipe at her face and shut off the camera, cutting off the her actually telling him.

~

Peter was shown having a slushy, holding hands of the person holding the camera. He smiled brightly, face scrunching up, no doubt thinking it was another picture and not a video. "Ok, we are going into that store over there and you are picking out clothes for me and some for you and I'll pay for all of it," the girl from behind the camera spoke and Peter's face immediately dropped as he finished his slushy and chucked into a bin not too far away, "You will not pay," the camera flipped round to face her, her chapped lips twisted into a teasing smile, "And they say chivalry is dead," she was suddenly standing up, half of Peter's face visible in the shot before he placed a peck to her cheek and hugging her, the girl simply continuing to film over his shoulder. "I love you," his calm whisper into her hair was muffled but she could still hear it, responding in a small voice, "I love you too,"

When they got into the shop, he disappeared with a small "Bye," and his girlfriend moved to the side, sitting down in the shoe area and holding the camera up. "So a public place isn't the best area to do this but I wanted to have happy moment before each of these because that's what we are. And this is the first video of a few. I love you and I know you better than anyone else. Maybe not May, but still. The point is, I know when I'm gone you're going somehow flip the blame onto you. You've already started doing it since I told you and I hate it. This isn't your fault and it isn't mine. These things can happen and I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry that it's happening to you. Because I know and have excepted that I'm going to the unknown but you, you have to live with this and you are so strong. You been through so much and you're still the best fucking person I know and I can't believe that had the privilege to know you let alone love you. You are everything that is good in the world rolled into this little package of adorableness and no matter how many punches you take, you always get up and laugh with people and make jokes and be the best human being to ever exist. So this first video is me telling you, don't blame yourself and move on. Because you deserve more than anybody can give you and I want you to be happy for the rest of your life," she was full on sobbing, looking extremely weird to passers by. "I need to go so then you don't know I did this because I cried my fucking eyes out," and once again the video stopped.

~

A loud bang followed by a frustrated scream was the first thing that filled the speakers. Peter had the camera on him, staring off at something out of shot with this dopey grin on his face. "You okay there?" He asked cautiously, hand running through his curls. Suddenly his grin was wider, rushed footsteps in the background, and he stumbled as if just pushed or hit by something. The camera lowered to show his girlfriend hugging him. "School fucking sucks," She looked at the phone, pouting slightly as she snatched it out of his hands. "That's mine," he laughed, hugging her from behind as she aimed the camera towards them, "Yeah I stole it. I was texting Ned on there 'cause mine's out of battery," the girl gave a small nod, moving her head to snuggled closer to his neck as he pecked her cheek.

Another bang was heard from elsewhere and Peter sighed, glancing behind him. "That's May. I've gotta go help her," one quick kiss to her forehead and he was gone and her smile slowly faded. "This isn't exactly how I planned to do this one but I'm gonna go with it. Hi again, this is the second one and I want to start again with I love you. I want you to do something for me. I know I live with my mum and I've rarely met the Avengers but I also know you deflect pain. Most of the time it's to helping people but when it's all too much, you get angry and you yell at people at random points 'cause you're bottling it up and I know that it's just going to be those heroes who get it. So I want you to, every time you want to scream and shout and blame someone for some small meaningless thing, I want you to tell them how you're feeling. I want you to talk about everything because as much as I love you, your dumb as fuck to not see how many people care for you and are willing to hear you out. I don't care if you don't want to burden anyone, okay? 'Cause you're not. They are there for you so be a man and talk about your feelings. I'm sure they'd prefer helping you than being at by you, okay? You're probably going to get back soon so I should go but, um, there's only one more to go and I love you,"  The camera shut off, her wobbly smile and tear stained cheeks being the last things to be seen.

~

The camera zoomed in on the intertwined fingers before going to the ridiculous amount of snacks and finally to the movie playing on the screen. Then it faced the side where Peter was shoving a hand full of popcorn into his mouth and trying not to choke when he saw the camera on him. He had a buzz-cut now, no doubt recently shaving his hair off. "It's movie night! Put it away!" The camera flipped to show his lovely girlfriend who now had no hair. And yet, she was still smiling and laughing despite things not exactly being okay. She then turned to get them both in the shot, a massive grin on her lips. "Look what this amazing human being did for me! How am I so lucky?" Peter snatched the phone, turning the video off. 

~

There was a lot of shouting in the background, laughter mixed in. the camera faced the cream ceiling, pieces of hair visible every now and then."You can't Peter! It's bad luck! Get out!" His laughter became muffled after the slam of a door and the camera finally showed the girl, no different to the time before except maybe slightly paler and she had a little bit of makeup on. She smiled brightly to the camera and moving over to some sort of desk to prop her phone up. "Ok, so no happy moment before this one because if you can't tell by the dress I'm wearing or the me just kicking you out my room, it's the non official wedding," Her hands went to the waistband of her white dress that ended at her knees and looked like something you'd wear to a prom. "You're a terrible husband if you don't remember that and I want a divorce," She let a breathy laugh leave her lips, placing her hands on her head. "In case you actually don't remember or there's someone else watching this, MJ did the ceremony, Ned walked me down the aisle and was best man and Harry was the maid of honour but he refused to wear the pink dress I got him because it didn't work with his eyes so he's got that blue dress that he's wearing. Right, this is the third and last one. I can't believe you set this up. I told you that I was so upset that I wouldn't spend the rest of my life with you and wouldn't get to have a wedding with you and you set this up because legally we can't get married so we're getting fake married. My mum and May are literally the only guests and they are getting flowers so I'm alone right now in my room until they get back and fuss over me," 

She sat down in the swivel chair, smile still present on her face. "Alright, this one is pretty much what I've been saying the last two videos except I'm actually saying it this time. I want you to look after yourself, okay? I don't want you doing anything stupid when I'm gone like getting yourself hurt overworking as Spiderman. Take a break, there are other heroes out there who are more than willing to help you if you can't do it. Move on, please. I know that it's going to be hard but I'm always going to be a part of your life, whether I'm there or not and you just have to accept that. Also, I know this probably won't help with the move on but can you check in with my mum every now and then. She's trying to act all strong but she's just like you and she's losing a daughter so just, keep her happy, for me? Please. Just be good to yourself  and move on. Ok this is the last one and I'm about to talk to my mum about sending you these when I'm gone so, I love you," And the camera stopped, catching the girl's broken expression rather than bright beautiful smile.

~

There was cheering, the video focus on Peter and his girlfriend kissing, whilst the few people around them clapped and cheered for the 'married' couple. Peter was lightly brushing away tears from her face when they pulled away, her doing the same to him. He suddenly smiled wide and picked her up bridal style, kissing her once more. "Ok Parker, you can stop kissing my little girl now!" Her mother shouted, Peter smiling sheepishly towards her but was soon brought into another kiss. When they pulled away, she stuck her tongue out to her mum before turning to Peter and pointing down the makeshift aisle. 

~

The lights were dim but the video was still clear. It was the two dancing, swaying to the slow song as Peter rested his chin on the top of her head. She was clearly crying as was Peter, the two looking like they were holding on for dear life. Sweet whispered 'I love you's were shared and then the video stopped.

~ 

Peter wiped at his eyes harshly. It was the third time watching them since... And he still sobbed his eyes dry. I mean, of course he did, it was his first love. He hadn't even told the Avengers, whenever they asked if he was going to bring her to another party or if they'd get to meet her again, he'd just walk out. Go try not to break down somewhere where no one could see him. But he felt okay watching this on the big screen in the living room of the compound because no one was home or at least that was what he thought. And to begin with, they weren't. Actually it was the time he took to set up linking his phone to the TV that they all walked in quietly. That they all saw everything on those videos. That they finally understood why he was holding back from missions or patrolling every night. Why he wasn't free for dinner every Wednesday because 'he and May had dinner with someone important'. Why he wasn't spending his entire day talking about you anymore. They had thought it had been a break up, like a really bad one but it wasn't. So Peter sat sobbing on the couch, the superheroes crying behind him, yet to make their presence known. Even Natasha and Bucky were crying.

"Hey kid," Tony finally managed to say, Peter jumping up and spinning round to see them all there. "Um, how long have you been... there?"Just from their faces he knew, trying to cover up the fact he'd been crying but Tony immediately held his hands out as if it would stop him. "Wanna talk about it?" He looked like he was going to say no but then his eyes met Tony's and he had launched himself at the man. "She's gone," He cried into the man's shoulder, holding on like he was a lifeline. 

"Y/N's gone,"

[skeletonmermaidlife]

Poignant

A fic by me and @wase-line

Read on AO3

Chapter 1 : Sous La Pluie

The reporter's voice filled the ears of those who listened. They were horrified‚ yet curious as she said "There are other superheroes who are currently fighting Hawkmoth!"

The camera showed two different heroes instead of Ladybug and Chat Noir. One in an unfamiliar red suit and the other one in a green-blue costume. Alya's eyes widened‚ recognizing the latter. "Viperion." She said blankly. The citizens barely saw those two. Alya had no idea who was the one in red‚ but she knew Viperion from her sightings and the pictures she had in her phone. Though she couldn't recall when she took a picture of him. And it was blurry.

"Where are Ladybug and Chat Noir?" she muttered as she started to think of the worst. Even if the superheroes kept the city safe for years‚ there was no guarantee that they would win every day. On top of that‚ she knew Nino also went to the battle. He was nowhere to be seen. Where was he? Where were Ladybug and Chat Noir?

"Ryuko‚ from the left!" Viperion shouted so the other could hear.

So her name was Ryuko.

A few seconds of intense fight happened before the citizens' eyes‚ no one was really able to predict what was going on. Ryuko was as fast as lightning and Viperion moved around so quickly.

The camera suddenly went blank for a moment. Those were probably the longest moments of Alya's life. What was happening? Where was Nino? Where were the superheroes Paris had grown fond of? The journalist was still talking but she wasn't listening anymore, the only sound she could hear was the one of her heart violently pounding in her ribcage. The image was back as fast as it was gone and a sound of relief was heard from Alya‚ looking at the scenery displayed on the screen.

Viperion was now in front of Hawkmoth, while Ryuko was by his side‚ retrieving the butterfly miraculous. What was left of the detransformation was a girl. She was probably their age‚ Alya guessed while watching the screen. She was covering her face‚ sobbing loudly.

"Medics in the helicopter are going down to help the girl and the superheroes."

The camera was now closer to them. Citizens could see the faces of the not-so-famed superheroes. But the longer Alya inspected‚ the more familiar that girl looked. Even if her face was blurred.

"Chat Noir and Ladybug had an emergency‚" Viperion said and added "we have to go. Stay safe‚ Parisians!" as he ran to catch up with Ryuko.

After the girl on the roof‚ with her first aid done‚ was taken to the helicopter with the others; the news took an advertisement break.

~~~

Kagami‚ currently Ryuko‚ remembered the girl. Lila Rossi. She remembered getting akumatized once‚ because of a picture involving her and Adrien.

No matter how much she despised her‚ it still made her sad to hear those desperate sobs. Her outfit wasn't presentable in any way. Her face‚ as much as she could see from the uncovered places‚ was full of bruises. There were some wounds and scratches on her arms. But she still wanted to cut out that few seconds of her life when she thought Lila could be a better person.

And since she was defeated‚ it meant that there was no Hawkmoth to trouble Ladybug and Chat Noir anymore.

Her eyes widened in horror. Ladybug and Chat Noir. They left them in that place when they told her and Viperion to go after the villain. She tapped on the other superhero's shoulder‚ "Viperion. We need to go back to Ladybug and Chat Noir."

The sharp tip of her sword faced down as she jumped away from the top of the building they defeated the villain on. She heard him say a few words to the reporter‚ before running to catch up with her.

"Do you remember where they were?" Viperion asked her as he jumped and flipped over a group of stacked up barrels.

"On the northwest." She replied‚ her voice cracking.

That didn't go unnoticed by Viperion. He would ask her about it but there was another urgency.

Their hearts were beating loudly in their chests‚ lost in the melody of the rain. The bug and cat were in no good condition when they last saw them. They didn't want to leave‚ but Ladybug forced them to‚ telling them that they'll be fine. Ryuko‚ who was an obedient ally‚ had also convinced Viperion. He was also afraid of what might be waiting for them.

She saw it. The dragon superheroine's eyes widened even more if that was possible. W-were they..?

"Viperion!" She called the other as she landed on the roof of the building she saw them on.

A woman and a man‚ with their hands touching aand facing each others.

Viperion's breath hitched. Their clothing looked familiar. There was only one detail that terrified him more than he already was. Pink jeans.

He did not know of too many people who wore pink jeans‚ except...

No.

His mind was getting loaded with things that would only appear in his nightmares. Unintentional. Unpleasant. Deep down from his subconscious. Surfacing without restraint.

He walked closer to the woman's body. Internally wincing at the sight of her bruised limbs and the blood pooling around her torso‚ which was now mixed with the rainwater. Her pulse was none as he checked it. His heart started to beat faster as he looked at the face covered with messy black locks. So familiar. No. He had to check. He must be seeing things.

With one shaky hand‚ he lifted the wet bangs out of her face. A brief sight was more than enough for his heart to drop.

He couldn't utter a word. He couldn't stop his hand from shaking. They weren't here when the other two arrived. His eyes diverted to his miraculous‚ his bracelet with the power of second chance. If only they could figure out the trap sooner... Viperion could've formed a loop longer than 5 minutes unlike his younger self. He could've saved them. He could've saved Marinette.

"My fault." He whispered. It was barely audible.

He knew he was thinking nonsense. He knew he was blaming himself for something he barely had any control over. But right now, logic didn't seem likely to him as the adrenaline in his body had reached its peak. He had seen something that he wouldn't be able to forget his entire life; the colorless, cold face and the lifeless body of the woman he loved so deeply. Her face was also full of bruises. A few scratches. And she had a busted lip.

He had never felt this much hatred and grief. He never wanted to kill someone this bad. He felt guilty for not thinking of this until someone he loved took real damage. He discarded his thoughts of Hawkmoth being redeemable.

He lifted his head to see Ryuko staring at the blond man, whose head was help up from behind by her right hand. Her lips were parted‚ as if she wanted to tell him something. His locks were away from his face. It shocked him to see another familiar face. He was Adrien.

The person who played the org.

The person whose heart danced on the black and white tiles.

But now‚ he was the man whose melody had been silenced forever.

The superheroine said nothing. She just lifted her head a little and Viperion was now able to see the devastated look on her face. It was enough for him to understand. That Adrien was important to her the way Marinette was important to him.

~~~

The two superheroes stood somewhere far from the hospital they just left Adrien and Marinette in. They holding on that little hope that maybe, maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe they both could still be saved. But there wasn't much they could do on their own. So they were here‚ just sitting on the ground‚ unsure what to do next.

"What are we going to do now?" Ryuko asked‚ her voice low. "Will Ladybug show up? "

"No idea. But I think we'll have to be extra careful with our miraculouses."

Beep.

"Speaking of which..." He said as he looked at Ryuko's choker. "You have to go. You would not want to reveal your identity."

Ryuko answered him after an unintentional‚ pained smile. "My identity? It was already known by Hawkmoth. It doesn't matter anymore." she said‚ which shocked him. She looked down at the Butterfly brooch in her hand. The villain had been defeated, secret identities were not needed anymore. She sighted. Super heroes were needed anymore either.

"Did I hear wrong or are you telling me that detransforming in front of me is no problem for you?"

"Maybe."

A few minutes passed by. They were just thinking of all the things that happened today‚ in the borders of their own perspectives. Neither of them spoke as the silence was too heavy to break through. But the more time passed‚ the heavier their hearts felt inside their chests. The feeling of betrayal was featherweight alongside the grief that weighed as heavy as lead. They could do nothing but breathe as they felt numb‚ the world around them feeling unreal.

"Sorry." Viperion said as he stood up‚ "I need to go. I have something important to do."

"Might as well as have said 'I do not want a reveal'."

He turned his head to look back at her. "No offense‚ Ryuko." And he jumped to the building on their right‚ running to a direction the superheroine didn't care about.

She was alone now. She stared to what was in front of her‚ to a view she also didn't care about. It would not take long for her to detransform and feed her kwami. Those things weren't what she was concerned about. She just had no idea what to do from now on. What should she do? How would she carry on?

~~~

The raven haired girl was on the floor‚ unable to move her limbs. Rain continued to wash over her clothes‚ her hair and her wounded skin. In her mind‚ she was having a brief summary of how her life had been for the past few months. Cold‚ lonely and stagnant.

Her dull eyes looked at the body that laid not so faraway from her. To the mess of blond hair‚ to the wet and stained clothes. She knew those eyes. Those emerald green eyes that no longer shined the way they used to. Those eyes she fell in love with. She smiled in pain. Her breath was still hitching‚ knowing that she was bleeding.

"Adrien?"

His gaze found hers.

He had no idea. He had no idea how she was still smiling. His face failed to express what he felt‚ because he also didn't know how he felt. The reveal didn't surprise him as much as he thought it would. He even made a mental note for himself to talk about this after the battle. Only‚ there was no 'after the battle' for them.

"It was you." His breath hitched.

"And it was you." She whispered.

It was raining. Again. Just like that day.

"Mari..." he muttered as breathing became a harder task. "We have to get up."

He felt something. It all happened too quick. He looked at the small amount of blood on the floor he just coughed. He tried to inhale deeply‚ his voice hoarse. He scrunched his face as he attempted to lift his body with the strength of his lower arms‚ which was supposed to help him get up. "We have to get up‚ Marinette."

They were practically deaf to their kwamis' voices.

"I'm afraid..." she started‚ "I can't get up‚ Kitty."

"Please. Ladybug." he said as his bruised hand formed into a fist.

"A fist huh?" she smiled again. "Pound it..?"

Adrien felt some sort of emptiness in his chest. His head felt light. He felt funny‚ must've been from the blood loss and some breathing difficulties. He had to say it. It was now or never. He couldn't let her go before she knew how he felt. He used up almost all of his strength to crawl to her side.

"I fell in love with you on a rainy day like this."  she suddenly said.

He could only go as far as his body would let him. But he got a bit closer to her. At least now he could hold her hand.

"I've always loved you." His eyelids fell midway as his remaining strength gradually dissolved into pieces. He neither had the strength nor the time to tell her all he wanted her to know."You're Marinette. And you're Ladybug. I love you."

Their hands were not intertwined‚ but their fingers could reach to each other's palms. "I love you too. Adrien. Chat. Two of the bravest people I ha-" Her sentence was cut midway due to a sharp pain in her abdomen that made her wince.

Adrien smiled, his eyes still closed. "I told you I would always be by your side‚ Bugaboo."

Marinette no longer had the mental strength she used to have. Tears flowed out of her eyes‚ as fast as a river would run. "I told you to not call me Bugaboo."