#my own father has a nicotine addiction and yet he has the control to

[bugbxyjunk]

seriously i dont give a shit what you do in your own time, literally could not care less. but when you ruin shit for everyone else, thats when i resent you. you are not cool, you are not funny, you are a nuisance and no one fucking likes you

[pearldog30]

Simon (ghost) Riley head Cannon

So I'm going to try my hand at writing a ghost head Cannon, the most realistic way. I possibly could without making him out to be this monster everybody thinks he is. (also I grew up in a PTSD household iykyk so I think I have enough knowledge to say how I think he would be like from my own personal experience of course!) and I have not written in so long so bear with me this is my first thing I'm publishing officially. Anyways I hope you enjoy this 🖤

Master list

Warnings| PTSD drug and alcohol addiction, mentioned, please let me know if I got the tags and warnings right I'm new at this!

I just want to start off by saying that this is 1,000% ghost love song (if the link doesn't work it's Blood sport by sleeping token)

Since he's a lieutenant in the military he's good at reading people like a book knowing/people's intentions I mean you have to be in that field and with that being said since he can sense your intentions and know they're pure, genuine, and good, he's more open to trusting you and creating something with you rather it be friendship/relationship. ( Even if you are, or aren't, in the 141. But if you're not it will just take a little bit of extra time just be patient with the man he has severe trust issues for a reason ) but don't be mistaken with the open trust there's still a lot you two have to work on and prove to each other.

And with him being military he's used to having things his way/being in control of situations 24/7, so there's going to be a lot of fights. Mostly about him leaving at random times because he needs the space. And about where you are (if you guys are not living together yet) where you going who you hanging out with. This isn't him being possessive, this is him terrified something bad will happen to you cuz he's lost everyone he's ever loved. Which is another reason why he's so protective over the 141, because they're his family. Even though he would never openly admit it.

And with the whole space thing, Which is why he leaves he's not leaving to cheat no. he's leaving to clear his head before he snaps, because when he does snap it's like he's in this PTSD rage and starts yelling. because he has snapped at you in the past, and it was not pretty. of course! Tho he never physically harm you, he can never do that he would hate himself even more if he did that. But when he does the second he sees those tears fall it snaps him back into reality. And you'll get a quick apology before he practically runs out the door to clear his head. But don't worry he always comes back and always will and make it up to you and give you a full apology and do what he can so he doesn't do it again.

Also this is known anyway but I'm just going to go over it. unlike most military people he does not have alcohol/drug addiction, because well his brother and father. he didn't want to be like that and he also saw how badly it messed up his brother and he didn't want to be like that. However! that man does have a nicotine addiction and you cannot tell me otherwise he's the definition of smoke a whole pack of marlboro reds and then run 10 miles and be fine (the fact that I know someone like that and I've seen them do it scares me 👀)

And since he knows he's a lot to handle with how messed up he is and his past he often pushes you away because he doesn't want to burden you with his issues and make you see him as he sees himself a monster.

Even though he loves peace, and quiet, and being by himself. if he's by himself too long it turns bad and he starts punching mirrors because he's reminded himself and his past. (He has tons of cuts and scars on his hands from punching mirrors)

(I've seen other people say this and I have to strongly agree) he does NOT wear his mask off duty not only is it dangerous, but we all know he does not like bringing attention to himself. and wearing that mask off the field/Bass would strongly bring attention to him. And on top of that I don't even think he would wear it at home, cuz it would remind him of himself and the bloodshed, and the harm, he's caused to others and when he's home he doesn't want to be reminded of his past.

And with that being said we all know how his past man's has major PTSD from the military and childhood so he often has tons of night terrors (if he's even able to sleep) which causing him jumping up in the middle of the night but he's thankful for you the fact that you're there and help him to calm down he may not talk about it and seem annoyed. but he really appreciates it.

He's not comfortable with physical affection at the beginning of the relationship but more towards down the road he'll come around start hugging you out of nowhere snuggling into you in bed (low key will give you THOSE eyes to come and give him affection) and he's ESPECIALLY! not comfortable with PDA in the beginning of the relationship. But he will have an arm around your shoulder/waste and maybe hold your hand. he has to let people know you're taken and that you also don't run away if y'all are walking around shopping.

he's a decent cook he's not good, he's not bad, either he's right in the middle. But let me tell you he's the master of tea/coffee (I know coffee is not really a British thing but when you're in the military you need caffeine practically caffeine addicted machine)

Love language quality time, and access service, he's a whole-hearted believer of actions speak louder than words. (Can you blame him though)

Anyways I hope you all enjoyed this. I know it was kind of short but again I'm new at it. and please give feedback if you think my writing shit (in a nice way of course) or if you want to see more honestly I enjoyed it and I thought it was fun.🖤

[juleswolverton-hyde]

Confessions of a Coffee-Eater | 01

Genre: Smut, College/University AU

Pairing: Student!/Poet!Namjoon xStudent!/Poet!

Warnings: Public male masturbation, sub!Namjoon, allusion to smoking and poverty, swearing/cussing

Summary: It is in hard times beautiful things can occur and the addiction of primal instincts be suppressed in their proximity. However, when two souls from different social worlds meet in a poetry class, any former urges gain a new direction.

Some of which are sensual in emotion.

And may not be reciprocated.

Masterlist

Next part

Not everything starts off smoothly, time occupying more of the mind than the designated task or destination. Students tend to deal with this occurrence more often than it would like to be admitted, especially on the first day of the new academic year when everyone has the silent resolution to begin with a clean slate. Withal, there remain some who, nevertheless, manage to sneak into the classroom as the introductions have almost come to an end and thus go from being an absent first to a present last. 

Hence is why regardless of the few remaining students introducing themselves all eyes in the vast yet bare space shift to the tall man entering the room in a wake of smoke and cologne. It is not unlikely to think they are as intimidated by the painted canvas on well-defined arms as the girl sitting right next to them after furiously wishing to be left alone, the desire denied as it is the sole empty chair left.

Whatever you do, don’t make eye contact.

Nevertheless, the thought does not mean a glance at the artwork covering alluring honey-toned skin cannot be stolen. And the gained treasure is the sight of an intricate tribal design flowing over from bright turquoise into sleek black on the left arm and a Victorian clockwork overlapping with a nautical map and a compass, the former element stopping at the wrist after peeking out underneath a feather. That is all that can be picked up on from the side.

But almond eyes immediately sneakily take revenge by also looking at a source of interest for it is the natural thing for an individual to estimate the nearest person when being in an alien environment without a point of support consisting of friends. Unfortunately, each of them from private personal circles has chosen a different direction within the study, none of them daring to take on or simply interested in poetry. 

‘And who might you be?’ The round of rapid-fire introductions ends at the newcomer, who flinches as if waking up from a dream with the heavily blushing cheeks of a crumpled composure.

Which are mirrored in the flustered expression of an embarrassed heart futilely trying to cover up the chest area more by means of pulling up the slightly see-through white loose top thinly striped with lines of black. Regardless of the attempt, the pastel pink push-up bra decorated with a beautiful flower pattern in onyx remains visible very much so from above and a tad less from the front. Thus, when realizing the uselessness of the endeavour, the worry of coming across as an indecent person increases as now not only the professor is taken into account but the still nameless newcomer as well.

‘Oh, ehm, I’m- I’m Namjoon, an exchange student from Dongguk University.’ Eyebrows rise at the baritone voice trying to speak in a composed manner, miraculously managing to do so to a fair degree though fiddling fingers give away the surprise of suddenly being called to attention. Oddly, a thought pops up which almost encourages hands into action to calm tanned nervous ones but just in time can they be lowered into the lap while watching the speaker politely. ‘As for poetry, I believe it’s an expression of a person’s mind. However, this also means they are puzzles to be solved because a thought is chaotic and can have a double meaning.’

‘Very well. It’s funny you should mention poems being like puzzles. My son is currently in high school, also studying poetry and he and I had a conversation about it recently. He could not for the life of him figure out what any poem meant and was astounded I do this for a living. But, as any fifteen-years-old with a literature professor for a father, he wants to become a game designer.’ Chuckling arises in the classroom at the enthusiastically told analogy and all tenseness disappears thanks to the dry humour of the resident Manchester man. At the same time, eyes which swiftly avoided each other find one another again only to repeat the rapid break of contact, those of the too-exposed girl wavering instantly after strangely wanting to make sure Namjoon is more at ease like the others. Why the deep-voiced man looks back with the intention - if there is any intention at all - to lock gazes instead of, fortunately, accidentally letting focus wander lower to bared skin, shall remain a mystery.

For blushing cheeks to never unravel.

Get yourself together, Y/N. I don’t know him and he’s clearly more interested in my chest than myself. Although... just now he looked at me. And he’s kinda adorable. And handsome. No, no, no! Jesus, what am I thinking?

Professor Brown happily continues, pacing the room. ‘But if we think about encoding and poetry, they are similar on the grounds they are both, indeed, essentially the same in the manner they are carefully composed in order to work.’ Steps halt in the middle of the space, academic sight switching from one face to the next as hands fold behind the back clad in a neat black jacket. ‘There is something I would like to ask you. Does any of you write poetry?’

The majority of the students' palms rise in response, including one of which the arm is decorated as if by a traveller of old and one which finds purpose after being mentally prevented from ridiculously serving as a means of soothing. This risen pair does not go unnoticed by the minds which control them, the air in the narrow space between bodies filled with silent curiosity pertaining to the written work. The possible style, the possible words, the possible message.

The possibility to hear it being spoken.

The possibility to connect.

But neither says anything, focusing intently on the empty pages of the notebooks lying on the elongated table and clumsily fiddling with pens between fingers. Notwithstanding, every move is carefully composed to not make a wrong impression, both parties trying to prove a point which is supposed to be interpreted without any double meanings. Certainly so when rejoining each other’s company at the end of a swift ten-minute-break to allow room for breathing something else other than poetry in four hours dedicated to it.

Nevertheless, it cannot be helped but let shoulders relax when smelling nicotine mixed with sharp cologne and sensing two intricate paintings in contrasting styles settle on the empty chair again. It can even be admitted the presence is liked, certainly when from peripheral vision perceived americano irises follow the movements of the pen noting down a random lyrical thought.

And thighs have to clench together in slight awkwardness when unconsciously sensing them looking away swiftly after likely having been distracted anew by the revelation of the shirt that does not want to stay in place. However, the emotion changes when remarking upon an almost anticipating shiver disturbing the fairly intimidating man’s aura as knees accidentally touch.

Panic.

But something undefinable and incomprehensible forms its undertone.

‘I’m sorry.’ Clenching the jaw, the contact is immediately made undone by crossing legs and focusing on the penning down each poem, any poem that comes to mind. 

But nothing appears at hearing the shy stumbling over words, picturing all too well how Namjoon’s face is adorably flushed with timidity. ‘Ah, i- it’s- doesn’t matter.’

Which only worsens the uncomfortableness of a consciousness slowly turning corrupted as the long hours of the seminar pass, wondering what lies at the heart of the cause to behave so jittery and rush out of the door to smoke. Wondering is the wrong choice of words for it are more sensual ungrounded fantasies which rise one by one while listening to the flustered ocean deep voice answering a question here and there.

Fancying how it would sound when being completely controlled by the girl keeping up an innocent façade.

Me.

God-fucking-dammit, focus on class and not your own perverted imaginations. You’re here to learn, not to lose control like this.

This warning spins around a chaotic mind at least every quarter of an hour, swirling among the perversion and bringing common sense back for perhaps a good ten minutes before either Namjoon’s voice is heard or a glance is thrown in the man’s direction. Then the whole circus starts anew without hope of redemption.

Henceforth, it comes as a relief when the class is over at last and everyone packs their things to rush to the nearest bus station to make it home.

The first to disappear are arms made of ink and smoke.

Restraint is one of humankind’s most difficult issues to face on a daily basis, seeking refuge in what brings tranquility to a tempted consciousness. Withal, the nicotine purchased with the little money put aside from working the night shift at a nearby gas station did not help erase the vivid memory of pastel pink embroidered by lace as black as night. If anything, it was all in vain as the confrontation with it happened as soon as walking back into the room to which all of us are confined for four hours once a week.

Igniting a type of hunger which has not been felt towards any other girl in Korea, too busy working the same job as now to help make ends meet and send the little brother with big aspirations to high school because the sibling deserves a proper educational basis as well. Hence is why there was no room for letting attention stray towards anything but the means necessary to help pay for the rent.

  Three people could barely manage to bring it up each month. But out here on foreign soil and alone, being kicked out of the rented place nearby the university is not so much a surprise. Fortunately, the boss does not come in until seven in the morning which allows for two hours of sleep before packing up the makeshift bed consisting of a jacket for a mattress and rucksack for a pillow. It is difficult, but hardship is inevitable for those who are seen as pariahs, the people who do not fit the norm in one way or another.

Yet, strangely, Y/N - the name glanced from the improvised name tags the professor asked to be made to make it easier for everyone - was not as tense as the rest of the students. In fact, intrigued is perhaps the best description to give the overall attitude of the girl caught occasionally glancing sideways.

I did fuck up great time, though. Why did I stare at her boobs?

The painful twitch below that had to be awkwardly shielded against all the eyes of the room, certainly the pair of newly met ones on the adjacent chair for they are the cause, makes the memory of flesh resurface as a rapid turn is made towards the abandoned unisex restroom. Swiftly, the lock to the tiny space is turned.

Alone.

God, I really blew my chances with her. I should apologize.

The phantom of touching knees makes lashes flutter shut and teeth bite down on the bottom lip as a hand brushes over tight grey denim.

Obsidian with a pearl undertone.

A cute black bow from which a small diamond dangles between breasts.

‘She’s so pretty.’ A squeeze sends the mind reeling further away from sanity, recalling the warm scent reminiscent of the autumn which hangs in the air. Wild berries, dark plum and bergamot.

Her.

‘I could be so good to you. For you.’ Tanned fingers barely possessing a sliver of logic undo the zipper concealing heated hurt, firmly enveloping the source for distraction when slipping past the rim of plain grey boxers. To suppress any sound, their counterparts fold over the mouth on the brink of falling into whimpering submission, trembling like during the seminar in the sudden craving to be touched.

By Y/N.

If only I’d push my thigh a bit more to the side, she’d have caught on. What am I thinking? You’d never do that.

After all, what does have a poor man from Ilsan to offer to a foreign woman who is better off without an outcast glued to her? Moreover, there are financial priorities that have to be taken care of and it is highly improbable there is a willingness to help a wretched soul out of the gutter with money.

She does not know me. 

I do not know her.

We are strangers.

But lovers in this fantasized instance, having pretty small hands replace clumsy desperate ones as ears naturally attune to the echo of what little has been heard from a charming voice. Howbeit, it is speaking in a sweetened tone furiously wished to ever be heard truly in private. ‘Namjoonie, why didn’t you tell me you were so needy?’

‘I- I didn’t want t- to- we’ve just met and- and- fuck~’ The curse comes out on a breathless whimper as the chin is flicked up to gain access to the neck, glossy lips kissing the warm skin at random as the thumb circles the heavily leaking part of corrupted fancy.

‘If I’d known you’d be submissive like this, I’d done this to you sooner. You wanted to grab my hand earlier, didn’t you? Place it in your lap to rut against during the rest of the seminar?’ A cheeky grin chisels itself onto the coy mistress’s delighted expression at the unashamed nodding confirming the intention dismissed in the last second after the second smoking break. ‘Make sure I know what I do to you? Who would have thought that such a big buff tattooed boy,’ a whine falls into an appreciative growl when the stimulating palm tightens its hold significantly, the reaction eliciting a chastising click of the tongue, ‘would be such a mess. So cute, all submissive.’

‘O- only for you.’ Hips snap in time with the movements below, aching for release from the building tightening in the lower stomach. Breath comes at a greater difficulty as speech becomes harder to manage as well, feeling too heated to think properly and dwindling further and further into the urge to please the one who ignites a sense of safety. ‘Wan- Wanna be goo- ngh, ah, ehm, b- be good for you.’

‘As you should be as my baby boy.’ Y/N stands on the tippy toes of obsidian and alabaster Puma sneakers, arms suggestively snaking around the back of the neck and nails digging wonderfully into skin when whispering. ‘If you actually do grab my hand next time in class to rut against, I’ll jerk you off under the table but make you cry in overstimulation for being impatient. Am I understood?’

‘Y- Yes, M- Miss.’

‘That’s what I like to hear.’

‘C- Can I- Need to- shit!’ All attention of action shifts wholly to the most sensitive part, erasing every last sliver of sense while barely refraining from coming undone without permission. ‘Plea- Please, ah, ah, Miss, m- may I!’

However, the request remains unfinished as the stimulation becomes too much to handle and the world is sucked away into pleasant nothingness, taking fantasy along and leaving a poor man from Ilsan alone in perverted satisfied warmth.

Together in an imaginary self-made world. 

Alone in a bathroom in reality.

Stained in more ways than with solely thick ivory. 

Yet having to say sorry.

[phantom-le6]

Episode Reviews - Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 5 (2 of 6)

Later than planned due to the Snooker World Championship final, here’s my second round of reviews for season 5 of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Episode 6: The Game

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Commander Riker visits Risa and is introduced to a video game by Etana Jol, a Ktarian woman with whom he has become sexually involved during his vacation on the pleasure planet. Riker, upon his return to the Enterprise, distributes replicated copies of the game to the crew of the starship.

 Cadet Wesley Crusher, on vacation from Starfleet Academy, is visiting the Enterprise and notices everyone playing the game (and trying to convince him to play as well). Doctor Beverly Crusher, Wesley's mother, secretly switches off Lt. Commander Data and sabotages his circuits, because he would be immune to the game's addictive properties. The game addicts people who play it by stimulating the pleasure centres of their brains when they successfully complete each level.

 Wesley reports to Captain Picard his suspicions that the game is dangerous. However, Picard is already addicted. Eventually, Wesley and his new girlfriend, Ensign Robin Lefler, are the only people on the ship who have yet to become addicted to the game. Wesley and Robin discover that Data's injuries were in fact sabotage, and begin working on a plan to stop the spread of the game. Wesley meets Robin in engineering, where he learns that she has come under the influence of the game, presumably having been captured by the crew and forced to play. Riker and Worf pursue Wesley, as he is the last non-addicted person on the ship. Wesley evades them for a time, but they eventually trap him in an access tunnel and take him to the bridge, where he is restrained and forced to play the game.

 Data, having been examined and repaired by Wesley before he was forced to submit to the game, frees the rest of the crew from their mind-controlled state by flashing pulses of light in their faces from a handheld lamp known as a palm beacon. The crew is then able to discern the purpose of the game: It rendered them extremely susceptible to the power of suggestion, compelling them to aid the games' creators, the Ktarians, in an attempt to take control of the Enterprise and eventually the Federation. Picard captures the Ktarian vessel, captained by Etana Jol, responsible for distributing the games and has it towed to the nearest spacedock. Wesley and Lefler bid each other a reluctant farewell as he returns to Starfleet Academy.

Review:

Following Wesley’s departure from the show’s main ensemble of characters in season 4, Wil Wheaton reprised the role for three episodes and a single cinematic cameo, and this episode is the first of those reprisal moments.  Now on the plus side, we get to see Wesley get a girlfriend in the form of young Ensign Robin Lefler, played by guest actress Ashley Judd, and he proves fairly adept as the lead protagonist in the episode.  However, he’s unfortunately landed as the lead protagonist in an episode that’s a total bloody howler in terms of its plot.  First of all, the concept of an addictive video game?  Red Dwarf beat Star Trek to this with Better Than Life in the novel adaptation of their series, and did a far better job on the concept.  Also, I’ve gone off anything using anything even remotely linked to hypnosis in a negative light where fiction is concerned, and the design of the game’s ‘discs’ being a spiral pattern is a clear visual nod to visual-based hypnotic inductions if I ever saw one.

 However, the real problem is that this is Trek trying to hammer out a ‘video games are addictive’ message, and frankly it’s right up there with anytime someone rails against violence and anything else in video games as something to piss me off.  Why? Because the world was full of things that people could get addicted to or that were violent well before computer games existed.  Drugs, including alcohol and nicotine, are addictive.  Gambling is addictive.  Sex is addictive, but guess what?  Not everyone is walking around with a constant need to down a ton of pills with half a liquor store and a pack of cigarettes, buy a hundred lottery tickets and then boink everyone on their street.  Likewise, the violence in video games is nothing compared to all the other violence in human history.  Two World Wars, the Crusades, dozens of other wars and skirmishes the world over and goodness knows how many murders, honour duels and the like all before we got anywhere near a home computer game of even the most basic variety.

 The reality is that addiction to anything is a serious issue, and frankly the anti-drugs episode back in season 1 of this series did better addressing it than this episode does.  It’s a near-total train-wreck, ironically saved by the one character many people often found most irksome in the show’s early years. For me, it’s only worth 4 out of 10. Oh, and Will?  There are some women you need to say no to, so maybe adding that word to your vocabulary next time you’re on Risa.

Episode 7: Unification (Part 1)

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Starfleet Admiral Brackett informs Captain Picard that Ambassador Spock is missing and an intelligence scan has placed him on Romulus, raising fears that he may have defected. Picard orders the Enterprise to Vulcan to speak to Spock's ailing father, Sarek, with whom Picard shares a close bond. Sarek mentions Pardek, a Romulan Senator with whom Spock had been maintaining a dialogue for several decades. Lt. Commander Data discovers a visual record of Pardek from a trade conference and confirms that he is the other figure seen on the intelligence scan of Spock on Romulus. The Enterprise crew find the remains of a decommissioned Vulcan ship, the T'Pau, in the debris of a Ferengi ship which crashed in the Hanolin asteroid belt.

 Picard calls in a favour from Klingon Chancellor Gowron, speaking to one of his aides and convincing him to lend them a Klingon ship that could take them to Romulus while cloaked. Picard and Data board the ship, with Picard ordering Riker to investigate the T'Pau and try to find a link to the Romulans. En route, the Klingons inform Picard that they intercepted a message of interest to him: Sarek has died.

 On Romulus, Picard and Data (disguised as Romulans) locate the spot where the picture of Pardek and Spock was taken, which Data determines is a legal office. They wait until Pardek arrives, but when they approach him, they find themselves met by soldiers and taken to a cavern. Pardek arrives, explaining that Romulan security knew they were on-planet and they've been brought underground for their safety. Picard states that he is looking for Ambassador Spock, who emerges from a nearby tunnel.

Review:

Although Star Trek’s creator Gene Roddenberry died a few days the previous episode aired, it is the Unification 2-parter episode that bears a memorial tribute to him at the beginning of each of his segments, and rightly so.  This two-part arc was meant not only as part of a cross-promotion between the Next Generation and Star Trek VI, but also as a way to mark the 25th anniversary of the original series first airing.  Frankly, there’s little I can think of that would be more apt in that regard than to have Spock guest-star in a special instalment of TNG, though admittedly part 1 sees very little Spock.  However, to my mind, this is actually a good thing.

 As cool as it is having an original series character guest-star on TNG is, the show has worked hard to be its own thing and not be simply a direct continuation or a poor rip-off of the original show.  Because of that, delaying Spock’s entry helps TNG retain its own identity; a rush to have Spock on screen could have undermined any sense of TNG as its own show. Moreover, some characters have a certain ‘larger than life’ reputation among fan-bases, and good writers will understand this and build them up as an idea, a symbol of themselves in the minds of an audience before the character really appears.  A key example of this approach in other media is how writer Brad Meltzer tackles the introduction of DC Comics’ ‘big three’ into the events of the mini-series/graphic novel Identity Crisis.

 Overall, part 1 of Unification is very good at building us up to moment of meeting Spock, as well as putting us on Romulus for the first time in Trek history and just generally telling a good story, one which also echoed real-life issues like the re-unification of Germany after the collapse of the Berlin Wall.  In fact, I would say all that robs this episode of top marks is that the remaining Enterprise crew doesn’t have the greatest of B-plots to deal with once Picard and Data head for Romulus.  Granted, it pays off in part 2, but somehow I feel it could have been better, though for the life of me I can’t think of how.  End score for this one is 9 out of 10.

Episode 8: Unification (Part 2)

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Spock demands that Picard leave Romulus. Picard informs him of the Federation's concern over his "cowboy diplomacy" and tells him that Sarek has died. Spock takes the news of his father's death stoically. He explains to Picard that during the peace negotiations with the Klingons decades earlier, he felt responsible for putting Captain Kirk and his crew at risk, and so is now working alone on a "personal mission of peace" to re-unify the Vulcan and Romulan people. He is working with an underground movement to achieve that aim. Pardek has asked Spock to come to Romulus to meet with the new Proconsul of the Romulan Senate, a young idealist who has promised reforms. Picard expresses concern that the willingness of the Romulans may be part of a larger ploy; Spock agrees but points out that if a larger plot is at work, it is best they play out their roles within it to uncover it.

 Picard, Data, and Spock are soon captured by Commander Sela, who is planning a Romulan conquest of Vulcan. The stolen Vulcan ship and two others are carrying a Romulan invasion force, under the guise of escorting a peace envoy. Spock refuses to deceive his people by announcing the false news, even after Sela threatens to kill him, and she locks the three in her office and leaves to order the ships on their way. By the time she returns, Data has hacked into the Romulan computer system and created a holographic simulation that distracts her long enough for the three captives to incapacitate her and her officers.

 Meanwhile, the Enterprise arrives at Galorndon Core following their investigation into one of the missing Vulcan ships. They detect the three Vulcan ships and moves to intercept them as they cross the Neutral Zone. A medical distress signal comes in, but as Riker orders the ship toward its source, they receive a broadcast from Romulus in which Spock reveals the true nature of the Vulcan ships, and Riker orders Dr Crusher to check the source of the medical distress call, suspecting it to be a Romulan ruse. A Romulan Warbird uncloaks, destroys the ships, and recloaks, killing the troops instead of allowing them to be captured.

 On Romulus, Data and Picard bid farewell to Spock. The Ambassador is intent upon his goal, realizing that it cannot be achieved through diplomacy or politics. Picard offers Spock a chance to touch what Sarek shared with him, and the two mind-meld.

Review:

Discounting the various alien bar scenes that factor into the Enterprise’s B-plot (for goodness sake, TNG, you’re not supposed to be Star Wars and that is certainly not Mos Eisley Cantina), the second part of Unification is about as good as the first part.  According to Memory Alpha, the writers felt like this episode was a bit too talky and wanted more action in retrospect, but with respect I disagree. Trek is made for being talky at times, and anything involving Leonard Nimoy and Patrick Stewart working together as Spock and Picard more or less demands it.  Had it been Riker and Kirk, then I could understand the action impulse. Moreover, as I just noted a moment ago, this is Star Trek and not Star Wars.  Trek is about issue and character exploration, about delving into matters of substance, not shallow action scenes and plots with little to no issue exploration or substance.  If action isn’t going to serve something deeper on Trek, then it’s best left to one side.

 The A-Plot works to a nice conclusion, and it’s cool to see Commander Sela back, even if you still have the issue that she looks like a Romulan clone of Tasha Yar and not her daughter.  It’s the character’s last appearance, which in some ways is a shame considering the later Romulan stories in this show and in Deep Space Nine.  The Enterprise also gets at least a decent, albeit slightly anti-climactic, conclusion to its b-plot.  Nothing more to really say; just going to hand down a score of 9 out of 10 and warp over to the next episode in this run.

Episode 9: A Matter of Time

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

En route to Penthara IV to assist its population in combating the effects of reduced temperatures created by a dust cloud from a recent asteroid impact, the Enterprise encounters a nearby temporal distortion, and finds a small pod containing a single human occupant. Beaming aboard the Enterpise, the human introduces himself as Professor Berlinghoff Rasmussen, a historian from the 26th century who has time-travelled to witness the Enterprise complete this "historic" mission at Penthara IV. He requests that the crew complete questionnaires for him, but reveals little about himself as he does not wish to alter history. Rasmussen's investigations are somewhat annoying to the crew but they entertain him.

 At Penthara IV, the Enterprise uses its phasers to drill into the planet to release carbon dioxide, creating a greenhouse effect to warm the planet, but this creates a side effect of increasing seismic activity and causing volcanoes to erupt, threatening to worsen the impact winter they were trying to end to ice age proportions. Chief Engineer La Forge and Lt. Commander Data offer a solution of ionizing the upper atmosphere, but the manoeuvre must be done precisely or they could risk burning off the entire atmosphere and killing all 20 million on the surface. With the severity of the decision, Captain Picard attempts to gain Rasmussen's help, claiming this is a scenario where any possible temporal equivalent of the Prime Directive can be overridden, but Rasmussen refuses to offer advice, noting by his era, the fate of all those on Penthara IV has already been decided. Picard decides to allow La Forge and Data to go through with the plan, which is successful and returns the planet to its normal climate.

 Rasmussen prepares to leave with his research done, but is met by a security team at his pod. Picard informs him several items have gone missing and requests to see the inside of his pod. Rasmussen reminds him again of the possible temporal prime directive, and asks if only Data goes in to look for their missing equipment, as Data can be ordered not to reveal anything about the future to the crew. Picard agrees. Inside, Data finds the missing items but discovers Rasmussen has him at phaser-point. Rasmussen explains he is really a disgruntled inventor from the 22nd century New Jersey that stole this pod from a 26th-century traveller, and intended to return to his time and profit by selling the Enterprise equipment as his inventions, and now that he has Data, he plans to take him back as well. However, Rasmussen finds his phaser does not work, as once he opened the pod, the ship's sensors were able to disable it. Data forces an anxious Rasmussen outside along with the stolen equipment, and Rasmussen tries to apologize and asks to be allowed to depart. Picard instead has Rasmussen placed under arrest, and the pod automatically disappears, leaving him stranded in the 24th century.

Review:

Before I get into the review itself, a bit of house-keeping I had to bring up.  Prior to this episode, Trek had been steadfastly anti-time travel for much of its history due to it being one of Gene Roddenberry’s ‘rules’ that Trek avoided this sometimes-overused sci-fi trope.  As a result, Trek did not have a temporal version of the Prime Directive, which is why when Picard discusses this at one point with Rasmussen, he wonders if the supposed historian is following a temporal equivalent.  As such, all references to the temporal prime directive being cited in this episode on any form of wiki sight are wrong and premature; you can’t reference a temporal prime directive that has yet to exist because there’s previously been no reason to even have one.

 Now, all that said, I think this episode was ok, but a bit all over the place.  Is it about suggesting that deliberately creating a greenhouse effect could be a possible solution to impact winters?  Is it about using that as an excuse to explore the nature of causality and the potential ramifications of time travel?  Frankly, for me time-travel is all too often a confusing thing because it invites paradox and gives you a headache in doing so.  For this reason alone, the multiverse concept of time-travel used more recently in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is better.  Also, all that talk about avoiding contamination of the time-line and then you let a guy from your past remain in your present, knowing that by Trek standards that could alter history?  Pretty sloppy, but as I’ve noted, Trek was still new at time-travel at this stage.  Overall, I give this episode about 7 out of 10; some of the acting, especially from Patrick Stewart, helps compensate for some of the confusion factor.

Episode 10: New Ground

Plot (as given by me):

While Lt. Commander La Forge is getting excited about a test of soliton wave technology, which could enable ships to travel at warp speeds without a warp drive or engines, Lt. Worf learns his human mother and Alexander have come to visit him via the transport ship Milan. When they beam aboard, however, Alexander claims he won’t be returning.  It turns out Worf’s human parents feel that they are too old to act as parents anymore, and they have seen Alexander show troubling behaviours that they feel only the guidance of his father can help him through.

 Worf attempts to incorporate being a parent into his life on board the Enterprise, but faces numerous challenges.  In addition to trying to tackle the minutia of enrolling Alexander at school and registering him with sickbay, Worf also struggles to deal with Alexander’s problem behaviours, which include lying and stealing.  When the behaviours continue despite Worf teaching Alexander about honour and making him promise not to lie anymore, he decides to send Alexander to a Klingon school instead.

 Matters are complicated when the Enterprise is damaged during the soliton wave test, and the wave itself begins to exponentially gain in speed and power as it heads for a colony on Lemma II.  The decision is made to chase the wave, travel through it and then dissipate it using photon torpedoes.  However, the ship’s shields are not at full strength, and travelling through the wave leaves certain sections exposed to possible ion radiation when the wave is dissipated.  One section is bio-lab 4, which Alexander runs away to following another argument with his father; the trip through the wave causes a major fire in the lab and traps Alexander under debris.

 When the bridge crew learns of Alexander’s plight, Worf and Commander Riker race to Alexander’s aid, narrowly saving him and some endangered animals that were being transported in the bio-lab before the soliton wave had to be dissipated.  While Alexander recovers in sick bay, Worf offers Alexander a choice; to face the rigours of Klingon school, or face the potentially greater challenge of remaining on board the Enterprise.  Alexander chooses the latter option.

Review:

This is an episode that, much like the soliton wave from its B-plot, starts out weak and builds to strength at the climax.  At first, it’s almost cringe-worthy watching Worf try to play single parent and assume what he thinks a parent should be, not for a moment factoring in how Alexander has been raised up to now or how being sent to Earth after his mother’s death affected him.  You can see Worf’s discomfort with the whole situation is making him try to more or less duck the situation, which I can understand to a degree.  After all, no one likes being chucked in at the proverbial deep end of any scenario, and as an autistic person I absolutely hate it when that happens, so I can empathise with the whole set-up.

 However, Worf is not autistic, and he’s been around a crew that includes families for his entire stint on the Enterprise, so you’d think he’d adapt a bit quicker.  As it is, the A-plot is saved when the conflict puts Alexander in a position where the B-plot can endanger him, and for that final act of the episode, you get a great bit of dramatic television.  There’s nothing that can get you on the edge of your seat more than a child being in danger and their parent having to race to the rescue.  The fear and the worry of that situation charges everything with urgency and commands audience attention, which is a key reason why I think when Marvel put the Fantastic Four on the big screen for themselves, they have to include Reed and Sue’s son Franklin and put him in peril; otherwise, the F4 can’t distinguish themselves as they did in the comics.

 For me, it’s very much that final act that really makes this episode worth a watch, but only just.  Overall, I give this episode 6 out of 10.

[sugarcult]

Kiwi Lyric Interpretation #1 (Literal Interpretation)

This is the second installation of my Kiwi Lyric/Video Analysis series. There will be three parts, the third being a metaphorical interpretation. For the sake of not clogging up your dash, the rest is under the cut.

She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes / Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect

She probably comes from a rough part of town. Nobody these days really starts smoking just for the fuck of it unless they face abnormal societal pressure to do so. They’re cheap, so she probably works a lower class job and smokes them specifically to get a nicotine fix rather than for social reasons, at this point. Chain-smoking? Probably. She’s smart, strikingly so, and probably a little bit devious. Hard liquor. She doesn’t fuck around.

And all the boys, they were saying they were into it

Either the boys (in the band) or all the boys (in the immediate vicinity, I assume) are “into it” meaning they’re either into her or the lifestyle. Lifestyle doesn’t make much sense, considering they could have much better than that lifestyle with much better ways to cure the itch for a habit.

Such a pretty face on a pretty neck

Oh, look, it was her! Guess what, she’s hot. Even her neck is hot. Wow.

She’s driving me crazy, but I’m into it, but I’m into it

She fucks with his head, but it’s lit because she’s got that sex appeal.

I’m kinda into it

She might fuck with his head a little too much. But like… it’s aight. Apparently. Maybe. He knows better, but. She seems pretty fucking exciting, amiright?

It’s getting crazy

Wow, I love partying. Partying is great. Clubs, bitches, hoorah. But this girl isn’t a bitch, she’s in control, isn’t she? She’s the one make the decisions and setting the rules. “It’s getting crazy” implies a certain distance from the narrator, as if he’s not the one making things happen this way, as if the events are simply happening to him.

I think I’m losing it, I think I’m losing it

So it becomes too much, right? He doesn’t have a grasp on reality anymore, she fucks with his head too much and there are probably drugs involved and this entire existence he’s crafted in her company (and apparently maintained long after she’s left) is too overwhelming, and why is he even doing this anymore? Is this even still a thrill?

Oh, I think she said,

He’s hazy, when she comes back to him. He can barely remember the encounter, either from the shock or from the other things in his body inhibiting his senses and memory. He’s really gone off the rails, hasn’t he?

“I’m having your baby

Okay, that’s a pretty big bomb to drop on someone. I’m having your baby. She’s pregnant. It’s definitely his.

It’s none of your business

Alright, alright, this part is interesting. Because, well, it is his business, isn’t it? Especially considering it seems like she’s going to keep it. It’s arguable that not all men should have a right to make the decision whether or not a woman maintains a pregnancy. However, it’s hardly within a woman’s right to birth a child and deny the father even partial custody unless he has something really sinister going on that could endanger the child. Granted what we know about her, she doesn’t exactly seem like she’d be the best mother on the planet, so what is it about him that’s so terrible that her birthing his child is none of his business? It could be a “strong independent woman” thing, like she doesn’t want his help, doesn’t want him in her life. But that’s not the way the law works. Her life may not be his business, but this child certainly is, especially from a legal perspective.

I’m having your baby / It’s none of your, it’s none of your”

This reads like an echo to me, like he really was so out of it when she told him she was pregnant that the words ring in his head, distorted, on a loop.

It’s New York, baby, always jacked up

Okay, so she lives in New York City, where it’s always a party and the city never sleeps. “Always jacked up” certainly sounds like a reference to being high, definitely uppers. Think meth, Adderall/Ritalin, cocaine.

Holland Tunnel for a nose that’s always backed up

Holland Tunnel is a place in New York City that is notorious for drug use. The giant sniff in the background of the song right about here is a nod at cocaine. “For a nose that’s always backed up” is also very specifically about cocaine, and at that, about addiction. It’s not just something she does every now and then, for fun. She has a problem. Is this while she’s pregnant? Your guess is as good as mine.

When she’s alone, she goes home to a cactus

Cacti are generally easy to care for - water them a little bit every once in awhile. One doesn’t have to be home often at all to own cacti that don’t die - she could be gone for days at a time without them being damaged. Additionally, the inclusion of the cactus line goes to show that that is all she comes home to - no family, no pets, no roommate.

In a black dress / She’s such an actress, driving me crazy

So she’s still out in the world trying to seduce. At this point, she’s either not very far along in her pregnancy or she’s not gotten pregnant yet. Since she’s driving him crazy, I’d wager that this is about the way he sees her when he gets to know her a bit better after their initial meeting. “She’s such an actress” is a pretty heavy claim. He’s not even saying, “She’s lying about this one specific thing.” He’s stating that her entire existence is an act, and that she’s not at all who she pretends to be, whether it be that she lies about her name, what she does for a living, etc. or that she pretends to be unaffected by certain things and too cool to deal with others, etc.

Pre-chorus

Chorus

(*screams* La la la la)

The la la la’s seem to be a nod toward Woman, a song widely accepted, specifically in the Larry fandom, to be a declaration of rage and frustration toward his significant other’s beard(s). They don’t appear anywhere else in the album, and in his solo music, he has stayed far away from fillers such as “[I think it went] oh, oh, oh, oh, [I think it went] yeah, yeah, yeah” and any kind of na na na. Given the shriek in the background, it seems to be a touch whimsical, showing just how “crazy” everything has gotten, but I do think the link between the two songs is worth noting.

She sits beside me like a silhouette

She haunts him. Like his own shadow, she’s inescapable. “Like a silhouette” also seems a touch ominous, like maybe she’s not quite welcome anymore. Twice, the color black has been tied to her, which is, symbolically, typically negative. It’s symbolic of darkness, the unknown, sin, etc.

Hard candy dripping on me ‘til my feet are wet

This line has been extremely controversial. First and foremost, I do not condone the use of this line, and I am not apologizing for it. In terms of interpretation of the song, it seems quite obvious - to me - that the woman in this song is not a child. While it’s true that some children and teenagers live alone (as in the case of runaways or children whose parents have passed, who might have been “taken in” by older siblings and put up in their own apartment just to keep them out of their hair), there’s nothing else in this song suggesting she might be a child. Most children have a hard time getting ahold of cigarettes and hard liquor in this day and age unless they’re getting them from their parents, with whom it’s established she does not live (“comes home to a cactus”). Additionally, while not specifically stated, the nuance to this song so far implies that she’s a manipulator and that she’s the one who has been showing him the ropes. This is just not characteristic of a child or a teenager, even those with terrible upbringings and vast amounts of freedom, no matter how deep they are in the rough part of town. Additionally, if it was about a child - I don’t think it is, no matter how poor the choice of words may be - Harry and a team of writers are not stupid enough to self-incriminate in a highly-anticipated song, let alone one they’re angling to make a single. Nobody is going to stand on a platform and say, “Look at me! I’ve been doing despicable things with minors!” The “‘til my feet are wet” part of the line reeks of discomfort, like this thing is just happening, whatever it is, until it’s become a part of him that he never wanted in the first place. This can be gathered by the tone of the song and the context of what he’s undoubtedly feeling toward her at this point in the timeline.

And now she’s all over me

Why is she suddenly all over him? At this point, she has already told him that she’s pregnant with his child and that she doesn’t want him to have anything to do with it. What’s she all over him for? Money? Because it sounds almost predatory, like she’s trying to seduce him back.

It’s like I pay for it, it’s like I pay for it

“It’s like I pay for it” is double-sided. It’s like he’s paying for his actions - getting mixed up with her in the first place when his gut probably told him she was bad news? Additionally, my sister pointed out to me that, in conjunction with the line “And now she’s all over me,” it certainly reads like he’s likening her to a sex worker. Whether she is one or not, there’s a clear tie between her coming onto him sexual and the monetary meaning of the word “pay.” As she lives a less than stellar lifestyle heavy with illegal pastimes, it’s not unlikely that she was meant to be a prostitute in the first place. However, it makes little sense that someone in his position would ever cross paths with a prostitute, considering One Direction has always had consenting-age groupies they could have enlisted, did they feel the need. What’s interesting, additionally, is that he seems so not into it at this stage but it doesn’t appear that he really does push her away. He doesn’t want this anymore, but he’s consumed by her anyway. No matter why she’s coming onto him after she said she didn’t want him around, he’s letting it happen - or rather, it’s happening anyway. This line reads as almost impersonal, like he’s an observer in the events of his own life rather than a participant. This could be a coping mechanism to distance himself from the blame, or he could be accepting that she’ll always be a part of his life now, that he’ll never be rid of her, as it seems, at this point, he wants to be.

I’m gonna pay for this

This is not a light statement. It’s a full-circle moment of understanding that he is the one responsible for his actions and for everything that has happened to him since he met her. He didn’t have to become involved with her. He didn’t have to get her pregnant. He could have fought for custody of his child - honestly, do we even know if she’s still pregnant at this point? He’s accepting responsibility for what he’s done and saying, “This is what I get. Everything that follows this moment is something I deserve.”

Chorus

Something additional to consider is the fact that Harry has been quoted - true or not - on the idea that this song started as an inside joke. Him doing drugs with an addict prostitute and subsequently knocking her up and her saying she doesn’t want him around their child, only to reel him back in when he’s of use to her doesn’t sound like something particularly worth joking about. Actually, most of this sounds a little uncharacteristic of Harry in the first place, or at least the image we’re supposed to buy into. But you know, there is a little story this interpretation does remind me of, and that is going to be the basis of the third part of this analysis, the interpretation that can be gathered by way of metaphor. That one is coming soon.

Questions or comments are encouraged.

[hiowl-blog]

There but also for the Grace of God go I ... Quit Smoking Cigarettes

God Provided for Me What I Might Refrain For Myself I do not remember exactly just what day I started cigarette smoking, however I do keep in mind the day that I give up smoking as if it were the other day. At about ten years of age, started giving the cold shoulder like grown up ups with a pair good friends by acting as though we smoked by rolling up dried yard grass from backyards and the Merrill Park in the Jeffery Estate at Chicago, Illinois. We likewise tried smoking dried tree leaves rolled up inside note pad paper, keying paper, old Chicago Transportation Authority transfer price paper, torn web pages from a phone book or whatever was available. Trying to imitate my father, cousins, other grownups, flicks celebrities, soldiers, cowboys, artists, ruffians, crooks, good guys and other heroes that smoked cigarettes. I guess it was cool and glamorous when they inhaled/exhaled smoke in their lungs. It made them look smarter and in control. I did unknown how you can smoke whatsoever. I simply puffed and coughed from the burning feeling that I felt in my chest and lungs. It was awfully excruciating! Someday a friend swiped an open pack from his mommy and we attempted to smoke a genuine cigarette. I believe it was either Benson & Hedges or Virginia Slims cigarettes. By the way, we found out that a cigarette is likewise called a "square". We almost obtained broken since my good friend's mother found out her cigarettes were missing and it looked like difficulty was coming quickly. Somehow I dodged that bullet. If you ask me today, after that I desire I had been busted so I might be penalized. And at that time we used to get beatings for disobedience and doing incorrect. Today it is called child abuse. I believe that is just what's wrong with this world today. Save the rod; ruin the child. I needed an oppress just on General Practitioner alone. Time passed and I learned to smoke the genuine McCoy, cigarettes fresh out the pack or crush-proof box! Newport brand name cigarettes, an eye-catching green square designed pack or box with the upside Nike swoosh on the front tag and the doctor general's warning on the side, to be precise. Twenty, filtered menthol cigarettes, jam packed with pure nicotine, tar, embalming fluid and couple hundred even more tasty low-dosed poisonous deadly poisons. I discovered how to hold the cigarette like a genuine guy should. I held the square in between my forefinger and center finger with a minor curve on the pull, like a trendy method of holding a swimming pool stick at a speak-easy pool hall, tavern, bar or a club. I was cool at 12 years of ages. Stunting my growth and development already. It took me a pair days to find out precisely how to breathe in smoke without choking. And certainly, I did choke. I got light-headed and woozy at first of my 24-year life sentence as a smoker of cigarettes. That light-headedness made me really feel relaxed after appreciating a revitalizing cigarette. Oh, I did not differentiate initially. I smoked various brand names without prejudice. For instance, Kools, Marlboroughs, Salems, Players, Camels, and Viceroys (the brand that helped to give my papa emphysema and cancer), oh well, whatever, don't bother. Place it in this manner, if you had a cigarette, I would probably smoke it without hesitation. I was amazing, calm and collected, an in control smoker. I mean I was bad, the best of the very best, top feline, cool, could you dig it man. (So I assumed). Constantly coughing up cold. Spewing hockers ranging from beige to yellow, to tawny, to brownish and green, orange and red and the occasional black hocker. In some cases getting a solid chuck that appears like a broken sunflower seed that has an odor worse than Rex the pet's breath on a hot and humid day in Maywood, Illinois in the month of July. Cigarettes were cheap to redeem in the day. I imply the very early 1980's when I began cigarette smoking. They were basically concerning 75cents a pack. I heard in the military, they had to do with $7 for a container of 20 packs of squares at that time, in the very early 80's. It just really did not set you back that much to eliminate on your own at that time. Now the price of living is high and the cost of dying is higher. My oldest bro and I made use of to hang out at a close friends house. There we were enabled to smoke, drink and hear loud songs in his basement. At home, we concealed our bad smoking behavior by sticking our heads out of the shower room window while cigarette smoking. We utilized air fresher and aerosol hairspray to kill the smell of cigarette smoke. Who were we fooling? One snowy evening, in the winter of 1982-83, my bro and walked down the opportunity where we lived, to smoke cigarettes. My mother, for some reason, unlock, overlooked the street, just as my bro was taking a couple of passionate drags, on a fresh lit Newport 100 cigarette. She came out your home and saw him smoking cigarettes. I practically got busted that day due to the fact that I was nearly to pull my cigarettes out my pocket. Well, just say that at some point I admitted to my habit of smoking cigarettes around that time additionally. My mommy told us not to smoke around her or in her house, period. She was extremely dissatisfied in us yet she knew that it was primarily absolutely nothing she can do since we allowed young boys and officially addicted to breathing in pure nicotine, tar and regarding 400 other reduced dose toxins. Lack of breath, poor colds and flu signs, yellow-colored (casket) finger nails, eyes looking lowly and poorly lit up were indicators of the unhealthy element of cigarette smoking cigarettes. I apparently enjoyed cigarettes and it was a marital relationship of benefit that maintained us together as one. Enough stated for the magnificence of cigarette smoking cigarettes. I make use of to always brush my teeth, utilize mouthwash, eat periodontal, and utilize a breath mint or spray or something prior to I kissed her, if I smoked. Back to Eco-friendly Bay, the people I was going to discovered out that I was a young boy smoking cigarettes, after attempting to hide it and cover it up from them. I had a fresh addiction to pure nicotine flowing with my veins and I craved for a cigarette after that delicious meal. As time passed, year progressed. The very same thing, I smoked after consuming food, drinking alcohols, drinking coffee, drinking sodas and particularly drinking extremely caffeinated colas. I smoke when I felt happy, unfortunate, upset, or just to be smoking a cigarette to have something to do like individuals who play baseball, a hobby. Even when a person ticked me off, when troubles and difficulty came up, prior to and after relieving myself, I needed to smoke one more cigarette. That is the plain truth. And it's somethen rong with that said pickture! I keep in mind attempting to quit on and off without success whatsoever. I would give up a day or two, a week or so and "bam!" I was back at it once again, "Smokin'!" It was off to the races once again, baby. Addicted to nicotine. You see, as the years took place, I ended up being adverse canines, cats, dust, plant pollen and grasses. I later created respiratory disease. I question did smoking have something to do with my developing these health problems. Hmm. I question ... Well, anyway, I remain in my mid-30's. I am now a little older and I think a tad bit wiser. I no longer need to look great, give the cold shoulder and think that I'm great, in order to be amazing. In some cases in order to be awesome, you have to be unpleasant. You will certainly shock your buddies and perplex your opponents. I felt like Pavlov's canine when it came to smoking cigarettes. I also began to keep in mind when my mom usage to state that "I do not intend to use anything that has that much power over me." Yes, zigaretten bestellen was right and basically said" I am powerless over cigarettes." Till I understood the reality in that statement, I would probably have actually smoked for the rest of my all-natural life. It is not so much as the physical dependence of pure nicotine or cigarettes however the mental reliance triggered by my thinking and the pressure of habitual reasoning and acting on the thought of literally craving nicotine. And the very best means I can obtain my nicotine solution was to discharge up a cigarette and breathe in the smoke. If I do not pick up the cigarette, after that I will certainly not smoke. A few months ago, one night I had actually awakened really early, like 3am. Immediately, I got the thought to list all the pros and cons of smoking cigarettes. Besides looking cool, which is a lie, I might not discover one good need to smoke cigarettes. I have some pretty good reasons I should not smoke, though. I generated over 35 reasons. Below are some reasons that I need to stop smoking cigarettes from the top of the list. 1. Quiting smoking now lowers your possibilities of obtaining throat cancer, lung cancer cells, emphysema, bronchial asthma, allergies, bronchitis, colon or stomach cancer cells and various other serious illness. 2. Expecting women decrease the possibilities of having losing the unborn baby, or a child born with birth defects. 3. Cough much less and have less colds and flu symptoms. 4. Breathe better, more openly and quickly. 5. Expectation on life will improve. 6. Run, walk and climb stairs with much less initiative. 7. Smile wider with brighter eyes. 8. Psychological eagerness and performance boosts substantially. 9. Hair, skin, teeth and finger nails smell and look far better. 10. You will certainly save a great deal of money. Just read the side of a pack of cigarettes. Yes, he smoked cigarettes, experienced the repercussions and died too soon. One day, while I was speaking with a great buddy concerning his just recently stopping smoking cigarettes.