#my needs aren't being catered to therefore everything sucks

[the-wardens-torch]

Cut because its mostly just some crybaby whining about the new SMN and the resulting depression/identity crisis its put me in. But I just really, really wanted to put it onto words so it will hopefully spend less time rattling around my head.

I must confess, I’ve done barely any of EW’s endgame content.  The only level 90 dungeon I’ve done more than once is The Dead Ends, and that’s just because I’m hoping for the Starbird.  I haven’t even unlocked Pandemonium.

Why? Because EW has rendered SMN (my bae class that I’ve mained since HW) utterly unrecognizable and I just feel… lost without it?

Its a bit of a digression, but classes that have strict rotations tend to really throw me for a loop.  I just don’t have the brainpower or muscle memory to focus on keeping up an optimal rotation and doing fight mechanics at the same time.  But since SMN’s rotation was so slow and disparate, I had a much easier time with it. There was no “forgetting” where I was in my rotation, because all I had to do was take a quick glance at where I was in the DWT-Bahamut-Phoenix cycle and maybe look at Aetherflow/Tri-disaster’s CD times if I was really lost. I liked that it had those different phases and that 2 minute long opener. I liked its DoTs and got a good sixth sense about when to refresh them. The whole thing just worked for me.

So… Fal’s mostly a DNC these days. I like the class a lot because the only “rotation” to speak of is knowing when to time your buffs and Technical Finishes. Its low-stress and its fun. But it doesn’t feel like its “mine.” I don’t feel special or interesting anymore. I miss making the most of a weird class. And the fact that DNC is both  popular AND commonly labeled as the easiest DPS class (except maybe for SMN now dohohoho) doesn’t help.

So why don’t I find another class and git gud?  Because I don’t fucking want to. Practicing rotations isn’t fun for me. I’m not going to study and train for hours so that I can be better at doing the thing that I do to relax.  The most I did to get better at SMN was peek at Akh Morning on my lunch break now and then.  I never used parsers, but I damn well knew I wasn’t dragging my ass.

That said, I AM still going to give the other DPS classes a chance - I’ve only got 3 of them at 90 right now, and some are as low as 60-70 (MCH, NIN, MNK) or not even unlocked (SAM, RPR.) This shit’s just really been getting me down and I needed to get some of it off my chest.