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vannybarber · 4 years ago

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The Prenup: Part Three

Summary: After four years of being together and finally being engaged, Chris wants you to sign a prenup.

Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, chris getting his ass handed to him, a lot of pain.

Part One Part Two

After Chris' little sob moment, he got his shit together and went back to where his family was. There was no way he was going to get you back crying like a baby when he was at fault. He needed to fix this, but you had to be on board in order first

He sits back on the couch, his mother and siblings not even realizing he entered the room, for they were having their own squabble. Scott's voice being the loudest out of everyone of course.

He sees his phone and goes to grab it. Carly notices him and speaks up.

"Chris is there anywhere you think she could be? Any place you guys have gone that's sentimental or something?" She's trying her best, but it wasn't enough. For all Chris knew, you could've been in numerous places. Everywhere you went was special.

When you both aren't working, you're on an adventure after another. You both loved to explore and were the perfect partners for each other to do it. You guys had traveled everywhere.

"I have no idea. I really fucked up and I don't even know where to begin to fix this" he breathes out, voice wavering gradually at every word. "Why do I always do this?"

It's Lisa's turn to speak up. "Do what?"

"Why do I always sabotage everything good in my life? Specifically love. It's like whenever it gets too good to be true, I back away. This time, I decided to wait four years to mess this up."

"Chris," Shanna calls. "You have a good woman." She pauses. "A great woman. She has put up with your shit and gave up so much to be with you. That's exactly what you wanted. Someone to really prove their love for you and she did that. You cannot go back on that now."

"Look how that's going." Scott doesn't fail to add a snarky remark.

"Scott I'm not going to tell you again. Quit it." Lisa barks and pops the back of his head. Scott goes silent.

"Okay but what if I messed up for good this time?" He looks up and straight at Shanna. "I have never seen her like this. I don't think anyone has ever hurt her this bad before." And he was right. You'd never experienced this much emotional pain before and the love of your life is to blame.

"Well you don't know that unless you find out. You can't just sit around here and feel sorry for yourself because believe it or not, you have no reason to." Shanna is completely right. Now it was up to Chris. But first he needed to figure out where you were.

He grabs his phone and goes to your contact. He finds you and clicks. All your info pops up and he debates on whether he should call or message. As he's deciding, his eyes wander lower to the location box. He sees your icon on the map.

His mouth opens, but nothing leaves it. Your location was on. It had been on the entire freaking time.

"Chris what's wrong?" Lisa walks over and the kids perk up.

"Y/N's location has been on all this time. I can see where she is now!" He clicks your icon and waits for it to load. A little hope has risen inside of him. One step closer.

"Well this is good. Now you can go to her. I just hope she doesn't want to kill you when she sees you." Shanna scratches the back of her neck because she knows what you're capable of.

Last year, your sister's boyfriend was messing around with your cousin's girlfriend and it got exposed at the dinner table infront of everyone.

Chris and his family had been invited and everything was going great. But then one of your other cousins decided to start some mess and pointed out how it was so strange that they were so close and always hung out together. They weren't wrong either.

Turns out they've been hooking up behind their backs for a while and all hell broke loose. Your sister and cousin are both very sensitive people. Their feelings get hurt fast and this absolutely tore them to pieces. That pissed you off and you went straight for the girlfriend. Then you went for the boyfriend but only got a kick to the spleen before Chris snatched you up.

She went to the hospital with a broken nose and dislocated jaw. The boyfriend had pain in his spleen for weeks on end. You apologized to the Evans' for your riveting hospitality, but Scott backed you up and stated that 'you did what you had to do'.

From that day forward, they did not get on your bad side. But you'd never hurt them. You had a great relationship with all of them. Something rare with in-laws. But not the Evans'.

Your location finally loaded and you were pinned at the Liberty, almost an hour from where you guys lived. Chris didn't even need to ask himself why you were so far away. He knew why.

"Okay I found her. She's at a hotel about about an hour away. Who knows what she'll do next, so I need to go right now." He moves to get his jacket and shoes. Slipping them on he grabs his keys and heads out the door, yelling an 'I'll be back soon' just before closing it.

Pregnant, tired, once again and alone. This should not be the case. You should be at home with your fianceé discussing how you'd break the news to your families about your new addition. But instead, there you are eating Domino's and binge watching the first and only season of a new show you found to get your mind off of things.

Its about a district attorney who's son had been found as a suspect for the murder of his schoolmate. What didn't help was the fact that the father, Andy Barber, looked almost identical to Chris. And the way Andy would interact with his son had you thinking about how he would react to your little surprise.

Would he be happy? Would it be too much for him? Seeing that you guys had just now got engaged after 4 years, you didn't see him too excited to add a baby in just yet. You hadn't even gotten married. Not to mention you just pushed that off the table.

You got your mind racing again, so you turned off the show and just sat quietly, succumbing to your thoughts. First, you guys needed to solve your problem before you tell him anything of the current events. Should you call him and tell him to come over? How were you gonna approach him?

Staying mad was off the table as soon as you saw the pregnancy results. You had to be mature for your new family. That meant pushing aside your anger and solving this prenup issue. Then you'd tell him about the baby. You just needed the chance.

And your chance had arrived when Chris pulled up to the parking lot of the hotel. Your icon was still at the location. He rushed to get out and inside, heading to the front desk.

"Hi! Is a Y/N Y/LN checked in here?" His fingers tap the counter in anticipation. The clerk is taken aback but checks the computer infront of him anyway.

"Uh, no sir there isn't anyone here by that name." The clerk shook his head and looked back up at him. Chris sighs and thinks. An idea comes to his head. It doesn't sound reasonable, but he had to at least try it.

"Okay um..how about a Y/N Evans?" The clerk looks back at the computer and types.

"Yes! There's a Y/N Evans in room 263 on the 3rd floor." Chris' heart leaped. You used his last name. After all that went down, you still went by his last name. He was gaining hope by the minute.

"She's my fianceé. Is there a way I could have a key to her room? It's super important" he begged.

"Well we're not allowed to give room keys out randomly. It's policy. But I could call up to confirm with Ms. Evans, if you'd like?" Chris accepted the offer, but not before correctly the clerk to calling you Mrs. Evans.

You jump slightly when you hear the phone ring. You stretch your arm and pick it up from the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Hi Mrs Evans! I have a-"

There was a pause before he continued,

"Mr. Evans down here at the lobby that wants to see you. Should I send him up?"

You swear in that exact moment all the saliva in your mouth dried up and your mouth was sealed shut. He had found you and and wanted to see you. But how? Anyways, you had to face him sooner or later. You freaking live together and you can't stay at that hotel forever.

"Mrs. Evans? Are you alright?" You snap out of your immobile state and clear your throat.

"Um..yes. You can send him up." You scold yourself for not putting up a bigger fight. But what for? It would only make shit worse than it already was.

"Alright ma'am. He'll be up shortly."

"Okay thank you." You quickly slam the phone on the receiver and let your body hit the mattress. Well, there's no turning back now.

You don't know how long you were laying there, but it couldn't have been long because you heard a knock at the door. You shoot up and stare at it.

Another knock.

"Y/N?"

You move your body towards the door taking a deep breath. You can do this Y/N. Get it together. This is Chris for goodness sake.

You turn the knob and pull the door back, Chris coming into view staring right back at you.

"Hi baby."

pls- this dramatic ass ending 😭 this was gonna be the last part, but dialogue/ just kept coming at me as I was writing 🥴.

tags:

@flattykawa1 @mayafatimakhan @attitude-times @shawn-youth @traceyaudette @fantasticinternetpizza @kyraroseficreblogs33 @radi0active-thoughts @youthought-iwasa-nicegirl @ohbarracuda @katelyneannxo @jennamarieee623 @nicochantez @craycraycraic @ilikeurdad @ppal3 @captainson-of-coul @joanne-stan @ilovetheeagles @cristinagronk16 @kelbabyblue @onyourgoddamnleft @jessycatth @misz-adrii @geminievans1 @saltyflowermakertaco @a-moment-captured @harrysthiccthighss @greatbatprofessordragon @dauntless2022 @f12sfm @allboutdatmarvel @ineedpineapple @illyrianprincess @ladycumberbatchofcamelot @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss @rubyztimetobeme @marianas-studyblr @icycheerleader @obliviatevamps @thevelvetseries @coffeebooksandfandom @shamelessfangirl-3 @quietmyfearswith @jennmurawaski13 @kissme-hs @lvgllre @secretmysteriousperson @arabescapr

#cevans #chris evans #avengers #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #andy barber smut #steve rogers smut #captain america #chris evans fluff #chris evans smut

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ariparri · 4 years ago

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Fluff Alphabet - Glitter Bomb

At long last, here's the fluff alphabet for Carson and Tulip!

I wanted to get this done first before finishing up the stuff for Isa and the other au ships.

I'm still practicing with moodboards since I'm not good at making them. This is the second one I made for Glitter Bomb because I wasn't happy with the first one.

DieRuca Fluff Alphabet

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A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Carson finds Tulip eccentricity. He just loves how she isn't afraid to be herself. He loves a person with confidence, high self esteem and prides their own intelligence. He just finds that extremely attractive. Anybody can have a pretty face, but if the personality is terrible then everything else gets ruled out.

Tulip finds Carson, himself as a whole, attractive. She loves his style, the way he dresses like he's part of some band that plays in their garage and how he doesn't care if his style doesn't match. But what she finds most attractive is his humor and his laugh. Carson has a contagious laughter, and she's always finding herself laugh along with him even when she's trying to be serious. She just loves it, his sense of humor is great and his laugh always seems to brighten up everyone's mood.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Carson didn't really think about actually having kids. He did say that if he ever got a daughter, he would name her after his mother. Tulip at the time didn't see herself being a mother. She always saw herself to be more of an independent woman with her own ideals and goals. They both talked about it every now and then, both agreeing they weren't in any rush to settle down and have kids. That was until Tulip had an unplanned pregnancy and the topic of kids was brought up again. While Calum wasn't planned at the start, they both agree it would be nice to have a kid and see how things go about from there. After a while of thinking about children, Carson was getting a little too excited and that excitement was starting to rub off on Tulip. She eventually couldn't wait to have their first child.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

The preferred position they cuddle in is the sweetheart cradle. Carson would lie on his back and hold onto Tulip while she rests her head on his chest. Another position they cuddle in is the arm draper. They'll both lie on the bed, facing each other with their arms draped over the other. They're also fond of resting their head on the other's lap. Especially when it involves horror movie marathons and Carson just relaxes his head on Tulip's lap and she starts scratching his head. It's a soothing feeling.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Dates can be wild for Carson and Tulip. They have a poster full of date ideas and they choose five from the list before placing those ideas on a dart board for them to hit a target. Each gets three darts and whatever idea gets the most hits that's the date they go on.

A couple favorites are paintball or laser tag. They enjoy having a bit of a competitive game as a date, it makes it more fun and exciting. Another favorite is where they go thrift shopping and pick out each other's outfit to wear on the date. Tulip picked out a nice long rainbow skirt to match with a neon green crop top for Carson while he picked out anything in yellow.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world...))

Tulip: You are the spark to my flame

Carson: You are my twin flame

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Carson realized he was in love with Tulip when Jae and Diego joked about how he and Tulip were always budding heads. Carson claims it as a simple rivalry on who was the better prankster of the two. Not satisfied with his answer, Jae and Diego pressed on. It eventually got to Carson spouting on and on about how ridiculous Tulip can be, before he started trailing off to all the things he liked about her. He kept going on until he noticed the looks on his friends' faces and realized just exactly what he was talking about. It didn't take too long until Jae slaps his back and loudly announces that he was a lovestruck fool.

Tulip was quick to realize her feelings for Carson. She found out she liked Carson more than a friend when he was hanging out with another girl for some time. She didn't even know why she felt bothered by it till Tonks just bluntly told her that she was falling for Carson. She of course was in denial for some time. But when Carson went out on another date with this girl, it was clearly obvious that Tulip was in fact jealous and in love with Carson. But all that jealous tension quickly died down when Carson introduced the girl as his cousin who was visiting from Scotland. Tonks couldn't stop laughing and she never let Tulip live it down.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Being quite the charmer, Carson can be gentle. It's in his words and gestures. He always addresses Tulip in terms of endearment and when he does, his voice is tender and filled with so much love and emotion. Carson gives great foot massages, so he always gives Tulip a massage whether or not she asks for one.

Tulip's a bit more forward with her affection, most of it is done through actions than words. Whenever Carson is sitting down and Tulip is standing behind him, she'll place her hands on his shoulders and give him a gentle massage. Head scratches are another thing she often does for him whenever they're both just lounging about in the comfort of their own home.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

The way they hold hands often involves being wrapped around one another. They'll be sitting next to each other and Carson will have his arm draped over Tulip's shoulder and she'll reach her hand up to hold his own. The other one is similar to this but instead of sitting, they're standing. One of them will be behind the other, arms wrapped around their body while the other's arms are crossed to intertwine their hands.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

At first, they were both annoyed with each other. They practically challenged the other every chance they got when it came to pranks. It wasn't until Veruca asked them for help with Filch when they decided to put aside their differences and work together. They were pretty amazed with how well they both were able to work together and combine their own preferred pranks into one mega bomb. Both Carson and Tulip had some new found respect for each other after this prank and often pair up to create big pranks.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Yes. Both of them can get jealous. When Carson gets jealous, he can throw a little temper tantrum and Veruca ends up being on the receiving end of it. He would eventually step in and tell the person to back off. If they can't get the hint, well Carson's old tricks come into play and if Dennis also doesn't like the person he joins in. Carson can be a bit of a mopy cry baby though and would get a little clingy when Tulip realizes what's going on.

When Tulip gets jealous, she broods about it for a moment before setting up a mega dungbomb in the person's belongings. After hearing a loud explosion and seeing them run off screaming, Tulip is satisfied with the turn of events. Especially when Carson comes by to see it happen and he just burst out laughing. He pretty much knows who was responsible but feigned ignorance when asked about it.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Their first kiss had a bit of an outside help. On their second date, being paintball war, Dennis tagged along for the fun. It ended with Tulip getting the most hits on Carson. They were in the middle of talking where Carson was congratulating her, until Dennis basically jumped into the back of Carson's head pushing him forward, making him kiss Tulip. They pulled apart, a little awkwardly if it wasn't for the smug mocking croak coming from Dennis. Carson clearly wasn't amused but Tulip pulled him in for another kiss.

L = Love (Who says 'I love you' first?)

While Carson does like to express his affections towards Tulip, he's never actually said that he loved her before. Tulip didn't seem to mind since she was perfectly fine with how they express their affection. It wasn't until seeing just how romantically sappy Diego and Veruca were and how Jae points out that they haven't said it to each other yet. During one of their night outs to the bar they frequent, Diego and Veruca announce they finally started dating. In the middle of the excitement, Carson pulls Tulip closer to him and finally says those three magical words. It may not be romantically special, but it was perfect to them.

M = Memory (What's their favourite memory together?)

Carson's favorite memory together was during the Celestial Ball. Tulip didn't have a date, and while Carson didn't go with anyone either, he promised her a dance. After Carson went through his rounds dancing with everyone who attended the ball alone, it was Tulip's turn to dance with him. He wasn't used to her dressing up, so seeing her in a dress was a nice surprise. They both had a fun time just laughing and dancing the night away.

Tulip's favorite memory of them together involved filling the entire Ravenclaw common room full of glitter and dungbomb filled balloons. They set it up to it popping on the dungbombs time, so everyone caught in the room were covered in glitter and dungbomb stench. The amount of trouble and the looks on everyone's faces were the highlights of that day. Even when they were in detention they couldn't stop laughing, Flitwick had to extend their punishment time.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

At the start of their relationship, Carson went all out with the tulip and balloon bouquets. It had to take Dennis biting onto him or croaking in refusal to get Carson to stop spoiling Tulip with all the bouquets. Other than the bouquets, Carson does buy her a lot of outfits that accentuate her figure, or even pins and necklaces from Zonko's as a reminder of her love for pranks.

Whenever Tulip is out and she happens to see some band merchandise, especially for bands Carson loves, she'll buy some for him. She buys mostly for the shirts and bandanas than the posters and pins. Carson definitely prefers them since they're everyday uses. Although she buys them for him, she sometimes steals the shirts whenever they're going to bed.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Red reminds Carson of Tulip all because of her hair. Every time he finds anything red, he instantly thinks it would look great on Tulip, something that would compliment her natural beauty.

Fuschia reminds Tulip of Carson. Despite blue being a color Carson often wears, his favorite color is fuschia. She's often reminded of the pink colored shirts he likes to wear with the Twisted Sister logo on them. Whenever she finds something completely ridiculous in that color, she'd send him a picture of it with the caption "This is clearly you"

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Carson likes to use many names for Tulip. Most common one would be Cherry for her hair. Other names he calls her are Babes, Cuddle Cakes, My Flame, Hotness, and Troublemaker. He also started calling themselves the Gruesome Twosome after Tulip's mother called them out of slight annoyance.

Tulip doesn't often use pet names, but when she does it's a mix between Dream Boy, Hot Stuff, Muffinhead, and Prince Charming. She mostly uses them as a way to tease him or feign annoyance with him.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Carson has a collection of old VHS movies. He usually keeps them displayed but some nights they'll have an old movie marathon. With Tulip, she sometimes challenges herself with watching the sunset and the sunrise in one day. She isn't entirely a morning person, so to watch the sunrise at least once every now and then can be a fun way to challenge herself to get out of bed. Carson sometimes joins her in this little activity.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

On a rainy day when both of them are simply bored, they'll sit on the sofa while slow music plays in the background and they're drinking hot chocolate. On other rainy days, they would go out and have a little water day. They'll chase each other around and jump around in puddles.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Dennis usually gets involved when Tulip is sad. If Carson's hot chocolate or blueberry muffins don't help comfort her, Dennis will jump onto Carson and stick his tongue into Carson's ear. He'll latch onto him and cause Carson to start shuffling around trying to get the darn toad off of him. Surely enough, Tulip will start laughing at them.

When Carson is sad, Tulip sometimes brings out the board games or turns on the ghost hunting channel. She also tries to make the blueberry muffins his mother often makes for him. Sadly, she isn't much of a cook so she makes a huge mess in the kitchen. Carson walks in to see Tulip close to having a crisis in the kitchen before bursting out in laughter and he's suddenly in a better mood. He then rushes to help her clean up and then bake the muffins with her.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

Sometimes they talk about their families. While Tulip can be a little annoyed by her parents, Carson distracts her by talking about how his mother wear a dress when he was five. They often talk about past prank wars and old memories. Tulip likes to bring up all the times Carson cried about puffskeins just appearing out of nowhere, embarrassing him just a little bit.

Date ideas often come up, and whatever isn't on their date list they'll talk about it before adding it to the list.

They also love to reminisce about the times they annoy both Chester and Andre. Carson just has crazy fashion ready for when Andre wants to use him as a model and the atrocity he has to face when Carson comes out with the most ridiculous outfit.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Carson is actually a fan of health and skin care, so coming home to see Tulip having the face masks out he tosses his work to the side and throws himself onto the sofa to ready for some relaxation. They both also listen to music and well, sing together. Most of the music they listen to range from 80s rock, pop, funk, and a little bit of R&B and Jazz. Two terrible singers paired together so perfectly, neighbors must hate them. Carson also plays the violin if Tulip is having a stress day. The melodious sound that comes from the instrument helps soothe her from getting a headache.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

They both like to show off their intelligence, which usually comes into play with their pranks. They try to one up the other by performing a prank that can be seen as more superior than the other.

They also like to show each other off. Mainly when someone tries to bring down the other, they'll start singing a bunch of praises and all the accomplishments their partner has done. They're kind of the jealous, boasting couple.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

Yes. You know that meme on Proposal Instructions? This one.

These were clearly joke proposals they both did just to get a laugh out of each other.

It was also a double proposal. On one of their dates to a paintball park, they invited a few friends for a group date. They were all pretty much in on the plan but didn't know the other half had the same idea. Tulip was the first to propose which made Carson stop and go, "Are you freaking serious?" before pulling out the ring to propose to her with. Everyone got a good laugh out of it.

X = Xylophone (What's their song?)

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starships

youtube

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Tulip at first didn't think much about it. But after both of them did joke proposals the thought has definitely crossed her mind. Just like Tulip, Carson didn't really think much of marriage until he and Tulip have been dating for a while. It definitely would be a dream to be married and it would make his parents, especially his mother, proud.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Carson absolutely doesn't want a pet. Tulip already has Dennis and he is the only one that Carson is willing to tolerate. And Tulip is perfectly fine with just having Dennis as a pet. That is of course until they have Raylene and she wanted to keep a piglet they found hurt in the woods while on a camping trip. At first Carson wasn't a fan of it, but the puppy eye look his daughter was giving him made him cave.

#glitter bomb #tulip karasu #carson ivey #tulip x carson #hogwarts mystery #hphm #harry potter hogwarts mystery #fluff alphabet

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whatiwillsay · 4 years ago

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Hey Cam! It's the roommate anon from Nat's blog. I was really freaking out for the whole of yesterday for reasons, but I've relaxed a bit now, and I remembered that I didn't answer your question about the songs on my roomie and I's cooking playlist lol

We have a 10 song limit for each artist, so I switch some of the Taylor songs up every so often just because there are so many different songs that I like, but at the moment, the songs on there are:

— State of Grace — I think this is one of the best songs on Red

— Shake It Off — My roomie doesn't like this song lol. I can always tell when she doesn't like a song because she'll grimace when it starts playing lmao. But I love it. I can relate to it a lot

— Cardigan — I can tell that she actually secretly really likes this. She even asked me what it was called

— No Body, No Crime — I think she likes this one too. We make jokes about it

— Dorothea — This is one of my faves from Evermore

— Tell Me Why — I don't think she likes this one, but I love it. I think it's so fun

— Fearless — Just because it's so nostalgic

— Everything Has Changed — This song always kinda makes me think of her. I don't know why

— Red — This song always kinda reminds me of her too. Again, I don't really know why because the lyrics don't even fit her. I think it's more the sound

— All Too Well — I mainly only keep this one on because I can tell she likes it

— This Love — I don't really like this one, but I keep it on because she loves it. I think she finds it calming

— Cowboy Like Me — We both love this one. It's another one of my favorites

— Cornelia Street — I can't tell if she likes this one or not, but I like it. She has mixed reactions to it. Sometimes she listens, and sometimes she talks over it a lot

It turns out that I broke the limit without realizing because when I counted, I realized I actually had 13 songs on there. But I mean, technically I only keep 3 of those songs on there because she likes them, so it's not really cheating imo lol

She drags me for being a Taylor fan sometimes, and she'll make jokes like "I can't believe I live with a Swiftie", but I can tell that she actually really likes some of Taylor's songs. She'll never admit that she likes a song, but I can usually tell by the way she reacts. She'll stay pretty much silent for the entire song and will seem a little distracted from what she's doing, so you can tell she's listening intently. Also, she'll sometimes replay them, and if I ever tease her about it, she just smiles and tell me to shut up lol

I think I can see what most of the Taylor songs that she seems to like have in common. She likes songs like Cowboy Like Me, Lover, Cardigan, This Love, Willow. Like they're all more calm and chilled out sounding songs

There were some songs that I used to have on there that were just making me feel really awkward for some reason, so I took them off

I also had to take off some songs because I realized they were taking her back to a bad place. She had a pretty rough childhood, so it's usually songs that mention childhood or parents or any really difficult emotional situations

Like she HATED Hoax. I think it was too sad for her

I put Never Grow Up and The Best Day on the playlist for Mother's Day last year because I'm an ✨idiot✨ and didn't use my brain first. They both nearly made her cry, even though she doesn't cry easily at all. She skipped both of them halfway through

She also asked me to take Tolerate It off because she was finding it really difficult to listen to. She told me it reminds me too much of her mom

And Look What You Made Me Do actually made her kinda freak out. She was like, "Take this one off please, I don't like this one" in this kinda anxious voice

I do think she likes Clean because she'd always listen to it so intently, but she'd also start looking a bit stressed, so I got rid of that one

I'm trying to be more careful with the songs that I put on now. I double-check the lyrics first

That's the reason why I haven't recommended her any Taylor albums yet. I know some songs might bring back bad memories for her. Instead, I think I might make her a playlist of Taylor songs that I think she'll like instead. I haven't got around to it yet though

But then there are some songs that she just hates lmao

Like she hates ME! She would grimace every time it came on lol, and sometimes she'd put her hand down in her face or pretend to hit herself in the head with the chopping board. Or she'd groan and be like "Put me out of my misery"

She didn't like This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things either

She told me that London Boy was "one of the worst songs she's ever heard", but then she was humming it a lot for the next few days, so 💀

She also told me that she didn't really like 22 and that it was "a little annoying", but then she was humming that later as well

She has strange opinions on some songs though. Like she told me that she hates Welcome to New York because "it's so depressing", but to me, it's a really optimistic and hopeful song about new beginnings

I don't think she knows about Swiftgron. I actually don't know that much about Swiftgron myself because I only ended up on this side of Tumblr recently. It sounds interesting though, but I wouldn't even know where to start with learning more about it. It seems like there's so much content

I remember that I did mention that people think Taylor is closeted to her once in passing. She actually sounded interested. She was like "Is she?" Except I didn't really know much about the reasons why people think that back then, so I think I just said something like, "I don't know, but a lot of people think that", and that was where the conversation ended, and the topic hasn't really come up since

hey babe! so glad you’re here w me!

love these song choices it sounds like you guys have a lot of fun cooking together and it sounds like she totally wants to be a gaylor

here’s the whole story of swiftgron and here’s a more condensed list of proof if you’re interested! if you read my pinned post there’s a lot of resource links in there.

oh and if she doesn’t like London boy but she does like the music of it PLEASE play her cold war by cautious clay it’s the song taylor sampled for London boy and it’s veryyyyy vibey :)

maybe you ought to make her a playlist of songs that help you express how you feel about her like everything has changed (which btw is a swiftgron song!)

come back and chat whenever you like! i love your story.

#roommate anon <3 #if she likes This Love she's gay dude #i don't make the rules #that's a very gay song #Anonymous

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karasunoloomer · 4 years ago

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only shallow (haikyuu!! band au)

chapter 1: first impressions wc: 1.5k synopsis: yachi hitoka joins a band. envy and tinnitus ensues. masterlist an: literally just a passion project of mine i'm working on to pass the time. a lot of call outs to my favourite bands will come sooner or later. self indulgent? entirely so. do i care? yes but pretend i don't

read under the cut!

This was it. She could hear the band from the outside of the house; a consistent, yet disorganised stream of music thumping against her ears, growing louder as she steps closer to the front door.

"Yachi, you can do this!" The blonde girl tells herself. The cocoons of nervousness in her stomach kept at bay for the past week, had finally emerged as butterflies. She'd never met these people in real life, spare talking to the drummer on the phone, and a million possibilities swan through her mind.

Would they like her? Will she be good enough for them? Was this a ruse for a money laundering scheme, or worse a sight for a potential kidnapping? She had work in just under half an hour, and being kidnapped was not factored in to her schedule.

Trying to shake the intrusive thoughts off her mind she knocks on the door. The music continued. Okay. They just didn't hear her. She takes a deep breath, and knocks again, louder this time.

"Oh shit I think that's her!" a voice behind the wall exclaims and the music stops. Thirty seconds later and the door opens with a boy just taller than her popping his head through. "Yachi?"

She nods as he unlocks the screen door in front of her, "Come on through, we usuallly practice in Tsuki's garage. It's just down the hallway!"

His eagerness and enthusiasm prompts Yachi to recognise him as the one who had taken her call. To be honest, she still didn't know what had come over her when she decided to answer the ad. It was just so happened that one night, while she was on the closing shift, she spotted it. It was hand written, stuck on the community notice board snuggled in a spot beneath the lost pets and above the second hand cars.

Looking for a bandmate to jam with :) Musical experience is preferred. We're looking to make it big, so commitment is key. If you're interested call the number below:

Yachi did have musical experience, although it was more polished than the DIY vibes she got from the advertisement. Learning piano, at the request of her mother, for twelve years did come in handy on rare occasions. She hadn't played in front of an audience since her first year in high school, so she didn't have the performance skills for a live band. But on the other hand, she thought, the years of lessons and sore fingers had to account for something, even if it was just playing chords on a keyboard. This wasn't like the proper, school recitals. This was a band. Where she'd have creative freedom and make friends and jam out.

Her life was at a stalemate at this point in time, the hope of university was still there, although Yachi had to first endure the drudgery of work. Joining a band would bring some flavour to her routine, and encourage her to get out and talk to people; people who weren't her co workers or entitled customers. With this in mind, Yachi pulled one of the numbers off and placed it in the pocket of her apron.

Which led her here. In someone's garage, staring at a bunch of boys she'd never met in her life. The butterflies were going crazy by now, and she was trying her very best to stop the word vomit from coming up.

"Everyone, this is Yachi, she answered the ad," the ginger announces, the enthusiasm in his voice ever present. "I'll introduce you to the guys first! The one who looks really scary is Kageyama, he plays guitar and is a super genius."

Yachi spots a black haired boy with a stern look on his face and her knees nearly give way.

"...The tall guy is Tsukishima and he plays bass. Don't worry if he's mean, he's like that with everybody."

Tsukki nods at Yachi.

The ginger boy then points to the person checking cables, "That's Tadashi, he's our vocalist and sometimes plays tambourine."

Tadashi pauses his work to wave at Yachi. She meekly waves back.

"And the best for last," he gestures to himself. "I'm Hinata and I'm the drummer!"

Yachi gulps. They looked so sophisticated, and so scary, something she couldn't pull off in a million years. "Hi everyone," she murmurs softly, failing to meet anyone's eyes.

"What instrument do you play?" Kageyama asks, failing to recognise her nervous demeanour.

"Oh um, I used to play piano, and I know that piano players aren't really needed in bands a lot but I figured I could play keyboards or help out with musical composition." The word vomit had started, she knew it wouldn't help her case but she continued anyway, "You guys don't have to let me be in your band if you think I'm too bad at it or anything..."

Kageyama cuts her off, "You play piano?"

Yachi nods.

He looks at Hinata, a pissed off expression on his face. "Hinata, we needed another guitarist."

Guitarist???

"S-s-sorry Kageyama I forgot to put that on the ad."

"Shoegaze bands don't need pianists. The guitars are the most important part. Does she even know what shoegaze is?"

She didn't. Yachi's heart sinks, the nervousness replaced with the sting of disappointment. As Kageyama and Hinata bicker, the two trying to pin the blame on eachother. Yachi decides to make her way out of the house before the tears well up. Figuring there was no point sticking around if she wasn't wanted.

A voice perks up. "You know, Yachi was the only person who answered the ad. If we dismiss her abilities entirely we could be missing out on a chance to strengthen our instrumentation."

The two are silenced. Yachi stops, turning her head back in surprise, to see Tsukki with arms folded.

He continues, "Going the purist route like Kageyama here will only make us run of the mill copycats. If we don't somehow innovate the sound we'll be forgettable. I think someone classically trained could be an asset and could push our music in a different different."

"See Kageyama?" Hinata exclaims. "She'll be great! What do you think Tadashi?"

The brown haired boy- was that a tint of green?- shrugs. "I can fill in as a second guitarist if Kageyama really wants it. I don't see why Yachi shouldn't be in the band."

He turns to Kageyama, who has been quiet since Tsukki initially spoke up. He stares at Yachi directly, his unreadable gaze making her tremble. He breaks it and addresses Tsukki, "You're right." More silence. "We'll trial her, and if she fits she can join us permanently. We can't guarantee she'll mesh well with our sound just yet."

A sigh of relief escapes her. She was in! Well, not in just yet, but they were willing to give her a shot! "Thank you so very much you guys for letting me join. I'll try my best, I promise. Thank you thank you thank you!"

Hinata pats on her the back. "That's totally alright Yachi! It'll be awesome with you around, I'm sure you'll do great. Right guys?"

Tadashi gives a thumbs up, Kageyama's face remains unchanged and Tsuki shrugs.

"Once again thanks," Yachi smiles, her shoulders loosening up and breathing a small smile of relief. She turns to walk out the door, calling behind her, "Please text me when you guys are practicing next!"

"Are you leaving already?" Hinata pouts. "We can't hear you play."

"Oh I'm super sorry!" Yachi says, flustered once more. "I just have work. Next time I promise I'll bring my keyboard and jam out with you guys. I swear!....Ahhh!"

Kageyama's hand is on her shoulder. He hands her a torn piece of paper, covered with his handwritten scrawl. "I made a list of shoegaze albums. Listen to these. They're important."

"Uhh.. thank you." She pockets the piece of paper and then turns around to wave at her newly found band mates, "See you guys!"

Finally out of the garage, and making her way towards the store, she reads the list Kageyama has given her. Yachi could almost admire his passion for the genre; quite a few albums were listed with hasty notes detailing the important aspects she should look out for, but the stench of elitism he exuded kept her from fully acknowledging his prowess.

She had no idea how she'd find the time to listen to the extensive list of music he'd given her before their next rehearsal. She spent the majority of her time working and her manager barely let her play her own music in the store, instead subjecting her to repeated listens of Green Day. Regardless, Yachi thinks to herself, she needs to listen to this. It was essential to keeping her on Kageyama's good side, improving her chances to be included in the band as a worthy musician.

Her eyes glance at the album listed first. It is circled, and the title written over at least five times to give the impression it's bolded. Beside it: "MOST IMPORTANT- IF YOUR (Yachi cringes slightly) GOING TO LISTEN TO ONLY ONE, PICK THIS ONE!!!!"

"Loveless," she whispers the title to herself, grabbing her phone to look up the album. "Let's go."

#haikyuu!!#gen fanfic #yachi hitoka #kageyama tobio #tsukishima kei #hinata shouyou #yamaguchi tadashi

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vhanities · 5 years ago

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RICHARD VAMIR DIES IN FIVE MINUTES but that is not how this story starts.

It starts like this: the five friends plan to meet near the cafeteria at Five Clover’s in ten minutes, that is at 5:34 pm. It is a humid overcast day, the depressing kind. The sky is grey, the air is frosty. If you run through the hive-like campus corridors of their school, you might even feel the bitter slap of the wind on your cheeks. Just the perfect kind of day for this.

At 5:20, the first one to arrive is Dante Browns. He sits inside, by the board that reads Today's Special being followed by a blank list. The waitress smiles at him when he looks up and he smiles back, eyes lingering on the soft edges of her face before shifting to look at the rush of students outside. Most of them are tired after three hour long lectures and some of them are probably Art History students walking to Professor Whitmore’s deadly class.

Five minutes later, Filippa Rosende arrives. “Notes for Richie because that fucker loves to miss classes,” she says while stuffing herself inside the opposite bench. “And my love for you because I love you.”

Dan scoffs. “What do you want?”

But before Filippa can reply, Samaira Shikhar walks inside the cafe, attracting all the eyes around instantly. It's not that she's particularly charming or well-liked, it's just that she's the Samaira Shikhar ─ student council president, head of fashion studies, Instagram influencer and just generally, the prettiest face around. Which makes her all the more untouchable. She's wearing a brown wind coat over a white blouse and darker brown dress pants that linger above her ankles. An inappropriate dress for the day, but of course, she doesn't know this yet.

She'll know it soon, but for now she's as indifferent to those eyes as she is to the future.

Just like Han Kai Tuo, Chinese bred and born, who arrives last. “Sorry, got caught up with the repainting work in the Mezzanine.”

“Its chill, where's Richie?” Samaira asks, eyeing Kai, who is trying to fit his larger than life legs beneath the table. He settles for leaving one of his legs outside the counter before turning to reply.

“I don't know, wasn't he supposed to come along?”

Then it starts. I told you. Five minutes.

The four of them receive identical texts by the same sender. I'm sorry. I love you. Goodbye.

Clair isn't small enough to be a small town but isn't large enough to be a city. It is a kind of town where everyone knows everyone knows everything about anyone. Big enough for a small mall, a public boulevard, its own emo-punk street (Cyberhub), McDonald's and Pizza Hut ─ it's a town larger than other towns but still half as big as the smallest city on radar.

There are three parts in division: the Greens, where the rich people live a destination countryside life; downtown, where everyone else live and Bench Street which isn't a street as much as it is a strip of a neighborhood hanging on a loose piece of land jutting out of the hills around Clair. It's where everyone goes to do unnecessary things, teens go to smoke, adults go do whatever adults do and townspeople just do their own thing. It's a place of rumors, gossips and secrets.

And in a town where first impressions make or break you, rumors of any kind can soil your reputation forever.

Each one of these five friends are known for different things. Dante is known by his last name, by the criminal empire his mother heads but doesn't claim. Samaira is known by her perfectionist nature, by her parent's foreign nationality. Filippa is known as the peacemaker, the star, the one everyone can rely on and look up to. Kai is the awkward geek but talented at heart. He double majors in fashion tech and psycho-sciences although no one is sure how that works.

And Richard? Well he was known as the adopted son of his father, the mayor. Before that, he was known as the son of runaway criminal Damien Stitcher. And now? He'll be known as the dead boy.

Because when the town looks down on you and your mother has become someone else entirely and your father is gone and your sister hates you, there is only one thing left to do.

Richard Vamir died five minutes ago, but he knew what was going to happen before his killer did.

tagging: @astorsa , @inkingfireplace , @jugularss , @etheriiums , @vviciously , @nepeinthe , @vigilantscar , @sapphicsyn , @windswiftcupid , @modeans3 , @agnodice-writes , @liarede , @wherearethecrabs , @nemowritesstuff , @semblanche , @waterfallofinkandpages , @maskedlady , @margswrites , @vandorens , @cafisky , @crimeofmine , @notquitenovelist , @isaakandreyevs @books-of-lunacy , @llesbianwrites , @doevell , @thechapelscrow , @xnmasked , @crypticsx , @thatsadwriter , @where-the-sky-writes , @latrantem , @drewdropps , @noxstories , @writing-instead-of-fighting @elliewritesstories , @kaatiba (to be added and message to be removed. find me and the whole darcy, darcy content on my wattpad!)

#not having photoshop #just sucks #plain sucks #anyway heres the prologue #with a mysterious narrator #* wip: darcy.

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jeks-tgs · 5 years ago

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Don't Lose Your Head AU - Part 6

"...a vacation?"

Robert nodded, looking proud of himself. Henry could only stare blankly at his friend over the large stack of paperwork he was currently in the process of filling out.

"Robert, let me get this straight," Henry sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You want to take me to the Scottish countryside for three days, at a time where we are desperately trying to get the Lodgers back on board for the exhibit, because you think the 'foul London air has damaged my lungs'?" Robert's confidence hadn't wavered once during that entire tirade, and Henry started to get the foreboding feeling that he wasn't going to win this one.

"Henry, you were literally coughing up blood! Clearly you need fresh air, and I mean actual fresh air, not the smog we try so desperately to convince ourselves is breathable," Robert rolled his eyes as he spoke, strolling over to Henry's desk. He picked up the paperwork and set it aside, much to the Scotsman's disdain. "My mother's family has a lovely little vacation home in the countryside, and grandmother has been begging me to come for a visit anyways, so you may as well come with. We can ride up to Glasgow and explore the city if we get bored with the country view."

"By little do you mean 'Jekyll little' or 'Lanyon little'?" Robert snorted at the jab, and shook his head with exasperation.

"Alright, well, maybe not little by normal standards, but it's not like I expect you to explore every last acre of the property," Henry looked smug at Robert's confession, earning a shove to the shoulder. Normally, that would result in him hastily grabbing at his throat to keep his head on, but Robert had come to understand Henry didn't like being shoved harshly, and as such was very light in his banter and playful gestures. "Besides, you always love to see new places, don't you? Aren't you excited to see Glasgow?"

And with that, it finally set in. Glasgow. A small cottage overlooking the river, hot baths, and the happy squeals of a child as a bushy-bearded scientist scooped him up, laughing. Henry blinked, throat thick, and it took a few seconds for him to realize Robert was gripping his shoulder, brown eyes filled with concern.

"Henry?" The older doctor asked as he reached out, dabbing a handkerchief across his cheek. When has he started crying? He swallowed a few times, forcing himself to calm down before he started bleeding again.

"I.. I'd rather not go to Glasgow, Robert," He said softly, closing his eyes tightly as Edward crackled in his chest, the flame clearly wanting to spring out defensively in response to Henry's tears. He prayed his friend wouldn't push. Luckily, Robert realized the subject was a painful one for him, and left it alone.

"Alright, the countryside will just.. have to be entertaining, then. Come on, I'll help you pack. ... no, you cannot bring your paperwork!"

"Robeeerrt!!"

---

And that's how Henry found himself in a coach heading out to the Scottish countryside, wedged awkwardly between his best friend and—

"I would rather be back in that damn attic you call a bedroom than sitting inside this stuffy carriage."

Robert turned his head, glaring at the old woman. If it weren't for her health and general knack for causing trouble, they would have left her behind, but alas, it was a necessity to brung Frankenstein with them.

"You are going to be polite to my grandmother, you miserable hag," The aristocrat growled, pointing at her accusingly as if she'd already insulted the aforementioned old woman. "She's recently been widowed and she does not need the added stress that you will inevitably bring her!" Frankenstein glowered back, then smirked, all teeth and threats showing in the grin.

"Give it enough time and I'll have you calling me granny, too," She sneered, causing Robert to squawk with indignation. The entire time, Henry sat stiffly between them, staring at Creature across from him miserably. The patchwork giant could only shrug with an equally uncomfortable look. Luckily for the Dullahan, the coach abruptly stopped with a harsh lurch followed by a sharp jolt. The horses were screaming and rearing back, it seemed, if the poor driver's distressed barking was anything to go by.

For some reason, the sound of the spooked equines tugged at Henry's gut, twisting it and tearing at it. With every nervous stamp of a hoof or whinnying cry the feeling grew worse, and suddenly, he was getting out, ignoring the other three questioning him and Edward's murmured confusion. He approached the driver's side, and the man paused when he saw the look of genuine upset that crossed Henry's face at the sight of the frightened animals. Henry tugged off his gloves, reaching out.

"Ah, sir! Hold on a moment!" The driver yelped, reaching out as if to pull the alchemist back. "Old Marian isn't the friendliest of horses, if you touch her she'll—" The moment his pale fingers rested on the glossy dappled coat, the mare turned to look at him. He tucked his gloves into his pocket, then reached his other hand up to run over her snout. Within seconds, she was calm, content with the petting, and even nosing at him impatiently when he stopped stroking her grey fur to move to the younger chestnut beside her. The same thing happened, and soon both horses were perfectly relaxed, sniffing at this new being they trusted implicitly. Henry himself seemed calmer now that the horses weren't distressed, petting them adoringly.

"...by God," The driver murmured, pulling his cap off and scratching at his balding head. "Marian's never let anyone but me and my wife soothe her. She bites every stranger she meets. And most young stallions don't take very well to 'em either. Yet you've got Peter practically eating out of the palm of your hand." Indeed, the chestnut was mushing at Henry's palm, confused and huffy about the lack of treats. Henry chuckled, brushing his fingers over the stallion's cheek. With notable reluctance, he stepped back, red eyes fond.

"I just.. like horses, I guess," He shrugged at the driver's awe. "And they've always seemed to like me in return. What happened anyway? To scare them, I mean."

"Ah, a runaway from a farm near here, I presume," The man replied. "A black mare ran across the road. She must have just moved too quickly for them, surprised the two is all." A few more words of thanks were given before Henry stepped back into the coach. He blinked when he found the other three staring at him.

"..what?" Robert could only shake his head as his friend got comfortable once more. Henry Jekyll had always been a bit of a strange one, especially around horses. Practically having forgotten it already, Robert engaged Henry in some casual banter. As the two spoke, Frankenstein and Creature shared a knowing look between each other. The coach began moving once more, and the four fell back into their odd combination of awkward silence and incessant bickering.

#don't lose your head au #dullahan!jekyll #tgs #tgs au #Mod Jeks

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Fraze & Bea

Fraze: Did you tell her no yet? Bea: No Bea: and hi, how are you, too Fraze: Clock's ticking, babe. You don't want me to do it for us Bea: You mean you don't want to do it either Bea: 'cos you know we should go Fraze: I don't wanna 'cause she'll kick off which will make me kick off but I will if you're not gonna, like Bea: Well yeah, and she'd be the one with a point to argue, not you Bea: it's what Christmas is all about Bea: we've got no valid excuse not to be there Fraze: I've got plenty of points, I've made 'em to you and I will to her as well if that's what it takes Fraze: Our family is right here, we don't need to drag the kids there to prove another fucking point entirely Bea: It isn't worth starting a row over, come on Fraze: You know I've started 'em for less, come on Bea: Well can you not, just this once Bea: it doesn't need to be any kind of drama Bea: it's barely longer than a standard car journey Bea: they'll be fine Fraze: Yeah 'cause that's the issue Fraze: Any kind of family thing is a drama Bea: We can't avoid them forever Bea: may as well get it over with when the distraction of Christmas is there Fraze: Fuck's sake Fraze: Alright, you've got a point Bea: I always do Bea: must be annoying Fraze: That ain't the word I'd use Bea: Spell it out so small ears don't pick it up Fraze: You know I'm shit at spelling that's just cruel, babe Bea: Exactly Bea: be fucked if I didn't know how to get you to be quiet by now Fraze: I'll be quiet as you like if it means they go to sleep for longer than an hour at a time Bea: I'm not a miracle worker Bea: contrary to popular belief Fraze: Shh, you had 'em all fooled Bea: Piss off Bea: How bad can it be, yeah Fraze: If your big plan is that you go back without me, you might wanna go back to the drawing board Fraze: Like you said, there's no chance of working actual miracles Bea: Neither that stupid nor that kind to you to be making a plan like that Bea: just saying, the worst has happened, can't give retroactive advice/contraception Bea: so everyone will just have to deal and make best Bea: us included Fraze: At least we waited 'til you'd finished school if not uni Fraze: They can still all give out plenty of unwanted advice though, that small mercy aside Fraze: Don't you wanna keep 'em at arms length a while longer? Bea: Oh yeah, let's make it a competition, that'll be fun Bea: it's just their job, not like you have ever listened so you don't have to start now Bea: I'm fine with going back, obviously Fraze: Comparisons are getting drawn like it or not, always have been Fraze: Same goes for judgements Bea: Not between family Bea: there's no need for that Fraze: Don't be naive, especially between family Fraze: Joe'll score points just for turning up, Tommo'll get a few more for making it to 18 without knocking anyone up Bea: Don't be a baby Bea: or expect me to apologize or feel bad for you that you won't be getting a pat on the back this year Fraze: I don't Fraze: But don't expect me to go along with your pretence of not giving a fuck what they think Fraze: I know you do Bea: I don't Fraze: You ain't gonna get the points awarded for keeping hold of me, those are all Ali's for that lad not doing whatever immediate runner my Ma reckoned on Bea: I literally just said I don't care Bea: do you think I have time for point scoring Fraze: And I just said I know you do Fraze: What else is there to go back for? Stay here if you don't give a shit Bea: You wanna stay here because you do Bea: so how does that make any sense Fraze: I give more of a shit about us, what doesn't make sense about that? Bea: What do you think is gonna happen Bea: seriously Fraze: Do you have time for their bullshit or don't you? Make up for your fucking mind Bea: I've got no time for avoidance Fraze: Well done you Bea: Jesus Bea: you're doing my head in now Fraze: What, you suddenly don't want my congrats? 'Cause it sounded like you were really angling for that Bea: I'm angling for you to grow a pair, actually Fraze: Doing what I'm told by you ain't what grow a pair means Bea: No but facing your mother is Fraze: Sitting down to Christmas dinner and playing nice ain't even close Bea: and staying here doing fuck all about it really proves our point Fraze: What do you want me to do, beg her forgiveness? I ain't sorry for any of it and I ain't gonna be just 'cause she is Bea: Then show up for your family and show her as much Fraze: Jesus, I'd hate you if I didn't love you so fucking much Bea: You better Fraze: Marry me, I'll prove it Bea: Shut up Fraze: Say yes and shut me up Bea: You're so stupid Fraze: I'm not that stupid Bea: I've not got the energy to debate Bea: already told you Fraze: Then don't Fraze: I'm telling you I ain't, take me at my word Bea: I'm not that stupid Bea: I don't take anyone at their word, don't take it personal Fraze: You're not stupid but you are funny Bea: Hilarious Bea: shame I can't say the same for you really Fraze: Stop holding onto it, Red, it's been years since I played class clown Bea: Yeah right Fraze: Yeah right Bea: not that long since you were still in uni Fraze: I weren't in the laughing mood then, was I? Bea: Well, who was Fraze: Every other fucker on my course basically Fraze: Nobody who matters Bea: I'm not sorry Fraze: Nor me Bea: Sure about that? Fraze: Meaning what? Bea: Meaning if you wanna go back and have the time of your life then go right ahead Fraze: If I went back I wouldn't have the time of my life just like I didn't the first time Bea: Alright Fraze: Is it? If you wanna have a dig at me for jacking it in now's the time, like Bea: That's not what this is Fraze: It can be, if you want Fraze: I'm making it easy enough for you Bea: That's easy for you Fraze: What? Bea: Easy for you to think I'm being a cunt about not finishing uni when I'm saying the opposite Bea: if that's what YOU actually want, then go ahead and do it Bea: I'm not going to be the one to decide for you either way Fraze: I was what I wanted so I did it, end of Fraze: It ain't your decision and I weren't asking you to make it Bea: So as I said, alright Fraze: Yeah Fraze: And like I said, you still get to have an opinion regardless Bea: What, like I'm bothered? Bea: it's not the be-all-end-all Bea: you still have a plan Fraze: 'Course I do Fraze: I'm not a fucking amateur, or as much of an idiot as you like to reckon Bea: I don't reckon anything of the sort, moron Bea: I'm saying I know Fraze: Obviously, you know whatever's worth knowing, always have done Bea: Too right Fraze: So if you wanna go, we'll go Bea: We're going Bea: it wasn't ever up for discussion but glad to have you on board Fraze: You do make me laugh, babe Bea: Hilarious, I remember Fraze: Good, don't forget Fraze: You're gonna need that sense of humour when we get there Bea: You're so dramatic, honestly Fraze: You're so in love with me, take a deep breath, honestly Bea: Yeah, you're 2 months too late to tell me to breathe, dickhead Fraze: Well, they were 3 months too early for me to need to Bea: You could've, I wouldn't have heard you to be pissed off Fraze: Now you tell me, cheers Bea: Some of us were a little busy at the time Fraze: Don't worry, next time I'll properly take the chance to say whatever I like Bea: Were you even there or? Bea: what next time Fraze: I'm just saying, we once said there wasn't gonna be any time Fraze: Didn't stick to that, did we? Bea: 1. It was an accident Bea: 2. Once is enough thanks Fraze: I'm not trying to argue otherwise, like Fraze: I was there Bea: You literally were, oh my God Fraze: Yeah, reckon I said that a fair few times myself there and then Fraze: Not that God showed up Bea: Don't imagine he's any good with a scalpel anyway Fraze: Not good at fuck all but voyeurism by all accounts Bea: and plagues, give him credit Fraze: Yeah, those locusts really boss, like Bea: Exactly Fraze: You gonna support me if I go study religion then? Bea: I will Bea: but your dad? no way, like Fraze: Fuck him, never gonna be his fave anyway Fraze: Gotta be born a girl for that Bea: Poor baby Fraze: Not for long, Red, stick around for the riches Bea: Where do you think I'm going? Fraze: Anywhere you want Bea: My question still stands then Fraze: I've told you loads of times before, the world is ours, babe Fraze: and now there's 2 more of us Fraze: The only question is what do you want Bea: You Bea: Us Bea: that's all I want right now Fraze: I see that and raise you no more holidays that are in a fucking caravan Fraze: Winter ain't gonna last forever and just 'cause I let you talk me into going back there for Christmas, don't think I'm agreeing to that bullshit Bea: I don't think anyone is going to even suggest we can all fit into a caravan anymore Fraze: Do you wanna make that bet though? Fraze: If my kids never see the inside of a caravan I'll go to my grave less begrudgingly Bea: You're such a snob, babe Fraze: They're having the best of everything, no less, whatever it takes Fraze: And that ain't even close, simple as Bea: Don't need to tell me like I don't know the score Fraze: I'm just saying, my Ma can make all the comparisons she wants, we're not them and it's not gonna be like that Bea: It's different for you than it is me Fraze: I know Bea: But it'll be good different for them, that we can agree on Fraze: 'Course Bea: I'll start packing then Fraze: I'll be back to give you a hand soon Bea: Not that hard Bea: get used to having a massive bag full of nappies and bottles and spare clothes on you at all times Fraze: Maybe not the suitcases but the babies we can't just shove in there and zip up, slightly more work, like Fraze: Have you already wrapped everyone's shit or should I just throw it in a gift bag? Bea: They aren't getting their own seats so you will have to hold one of 'em, yeah Bea: and you really think I didn't get it all posted there Bea: not an amateur Fraze: Alright but if you didn't get Joe an even itchier jumper than last year I'm reconsidering this whole marriage thing Bea: Thanks for the tip Bea: I'll have to reconsider my gift, obviously Fraze: Shut up Fraze: Me too now I'm sending the ring back Bea: Ha ha Fraze: You can laugh the personalised engraving has fucked my refund chances right up Bea: Well that was your first mistake Bea: can't reuse it on another girl either Bea: rookie Fraze: Write me a list when you can find the time, babe Bea: Easy Fraze: Good Bea: You know you have to be nice to your sister when we're there Fraze: Do I fuck Fraze: You be nice to yours Bea: My sister didn't have a baby a few weeks ago Fraze: So what? Fraze: You'd kill her if she fucking did Bea: So what is she doesn't need drama from you right now Fraze: She ain't getting drama from me but she ain't getting a round of applause either Bea: I'm not saying you have to go that far am I Bea: just don't start either Fraze: You're saying keep my mouth shut but I'm saying why the fuck should I? Fraze: A supposedly high IQ and a boyfriend who supposedly ain't an utter waste of space don't change the fact she's still a kid Bea: Because what do you think it will achieve? Bea: Literally nothing Bea: you'll only make it worse, if anything, so save your breath Fraze: Instead you want me to sit back and do literally nothing Bea: Whatever, be the big brother you want to be Bea: I'm not getting involved Fraze: This is why we shouldn't go Fraze: It's bullshit Bea: What do you propose, you never see her again because it makes you feel weird Bea: Get real Fraze: Yeah 'cause what you're proposing is so much better Fraze: We all just pretend everything is fucking fine when it isn't Bea: You can't do anything about it Bea: it's her life to fuck up however she pleases, she weren't going to ask for your permission at any point, like Fraze: I can't do anything about any of 'em that's the whole point Bea: Yeah Bea: that's always been the case and always will be Fraze: Exactly Fraze: Why would I wanna sit there and act like I don't know that? Bea: 'cos that's life Bea: it's the same for everybody else Fraze: I hope one of 'em somewhere is having a convo about what a fuck up I am Fraze: God, if you're listening, like, come on Bea: Really? Fraze: Don't let me down, Ma Fraze: 'Cause if they think this is as good as everything gets and everything really is fine for this family then fucking hell Bea: This is news? Bea: Mediocrity is aspirational to most people Bea: if everyone was the best it'd be meaningless and we'd have nothing to do in the meantime Fraze: Cheers, babe Fraze: I wouldn't want anyone else in my corner Bea: Don't be disingenuous when you really mean it Fraze: I don't talk like you swallowed a dictionary at me when I'm declaring my love Bea: That's what that was? Bea: You should work on that Fraze: I won't put it exactly like that in the vows Fraze: You saved me, you know, that's how I know it's something that can happen Fraze: I don't wanna just leave 'em to it but I can't do the same for 'em either Bea: I know Bea: it's a fool's errand Bea: but a noble one Fraze: I hate feeling like such a stupid cunt Bea: I know that too Bea: kinda signed up for a lifetime of it though Bea: not saying I'm so smart, before you suggest Fraze: I'll say it for you Fraze: 'Cause you are Bea: Hmm Bea: thanks Fraze: It don't even feel like a compliment anymore 'cause it's just been like that, something I've known, since the first time I met you Bea: Don't be soppy Bea: I'm meant to be the hormonal one, you'll set me off Fraze: You want me to be nice to everyone but you? Fuck that Bea: 'Course not Bea: we're a team Fraze: We better be 'cause they want us to stay til after New Year's Bea: We always have been Fraze: Yeah Fraze: I ain't forgotten Bea: Should hope not Fraze: I'm so knackered I feel braindead right now but I reckon it's actually semi functioning Fraze: Take that kids Bea: That's something Bea: need all the funds we can get now Fraze: How are you? Bea: Now he asks Bea: fine, of course Bea: he's being grizzly but nothing I can't handle Fraze: Put up with me long enough, yeah? I know you wanna say it Bea: Now you mention it, like Fraze: Do you need me to grab anything on the way back? Bea: something to eat if you're planning on it tonight Fraze: Don't tell either of 'em it's part of the plan, like Fraze: Might get a second then Bea: You reckon they've already got malicious intent Fraze: I ain't ruling it out Bea: They are yours, after-all Fraze: They better be Bea: As if Fraze: Too early to tell if they look like me Bea: Do you want me on your side or not Bea: think on Fraze: I ain't surviving Christmas if you ain't Fraze: So depends if you want me to or not Bea: That depends if you wanna keep implying things Fraze: Come on Bea: You Fraze: If I reckoned there was any truth to it we wouldn't be having this conversation Fraze: You know that as well as I do Bea: Not very supportive Bea: but fair Fraze: I love you but I've got my limits, babe and I don't reckon they stretch to doing night feeds for kids that ain't mine Bea: Always good to know Fraze: Keep it in mind, yeah Bea: Back at you Fraze: Fuck that, I need your genetics to balance out mine Fraze: Especially now the model missus of my childhood dreams ain't gonna happen Fraze: No wildcards, cheers Bea: Please, don't let me stop you Fraze: Shut up Bea: Go on Bea: I said no Bea: practically a free agent Fraze: I'd rather you said no every time than some girl I don't want saying yeah Bea: Cute Fraze: Don't take the piss Bea: Me? Never Bea: You're just so adorable, babe Fraze: Tis the season for you to have a day off it, like Bea: Don't make me repeat myself Fraze: Why not? Fraze: You've signed yourself up to a lifetime of that Bea: They're all we've got to talk about already? Fraze: Christ, I hope not Bea: Let's never be those people, yeah Bea: another rule Fraze: I don't mind that one Fraze: I'll even swear to it Bea: No need to spill blood on it Bea: but good Fraze: No takebacks either way Bea: Yeah Fraze: Good Bea: How long have you got left? Bea: need interaction with an actual adult human Fraze: One foot out the door, babe Bea: Thank God Fraze: My sentiments exactly Bea: I have missed you Fraze: Yeah? Bea: You know I have Fraze: I know it's more fun hearing it from you Bea: Well I have Bea: can't claim the babies have too but you know Bea: they're selfish little bastards Fraze: It's alright we've established they're mine, you ain't gotta milk it Bea: 😂 Fraze: I've missed you Fraze: Them too Bea: It must be weird being away from them Fraze: It's fucked but I'm on my way back via the shop Bea: You don't really mind though, do you? Fraze: Like you said, we need all the funds we can get Fraze: Gotta do what I gotta do Fraze: They need you more than they do me right now Bea: Yeah Bea: and there's only so much time I can give them too Fraze: Exactly Fraze: What about you, do you mind? Bea: I don't know Bea: it is what it is regardless, like you said Fraze: Yeah, but if there's anything you wanna do different we'll figure it out Bea: I need to finish Uni Bea: I'm going to be there for a long time yet Bea: we can do it Fraze: 'Course you do and 'course we can Bea: I can take until Summer term, doing long distance Bea: but then I'll need to go back full-time Bea: still the plan, they'll nearly be a year Fraze: It's still a good plan Bea: I think so Fraze: No need to repeat myself going on about how smart you are then Bea: Still, always fun hearing it from you Fraze: Still, I've got other compliments up my sleeve Bea: Only if you're lying Bea: I wonder if the gym creche will take them this young Fraze: You can always lie about how old they are if not Fraze: Every fucker knows twins are smaller Bea: Especially ones that can't hold on Fraze: Go easy though, yeah? Bea: I'm not pregnant now Fraze: You know what I mean Fraze: It ain't been that long Bea: Long enough Fraze: Come on Bea: Don't be a baby about it Fraze: Don't be a bitch about it Bea: Shut up and come home Fraze: Shut up and listen to me Bea: Don't treat me like an idiot Fraze: Don't treat me like an idiot either Bea: I'm not Fraze: Bullshit Fraze: I know you and you should know I ain't gonna stand there while you go fucking mental over this Bea: It isn't mental to want to look good Fraze: Nah it ain't but you do Bea: If that were true you would've said it however many messages up so Fraze: If I'd said it however many messages ago you'd have said that you wanna get out of the house or whatever Fraze: I ain't telling you not to go I'm telling you not to go mad Bea: Not planning on becoming a bodybuilder, like Fraze: That ain't what worries me, like Bea: Don't worry Bea: I promise, I'll be fine Fraze: You know the drill by now, Bea Bea: Come on Bea: I'm not my sister Fraze: Your sister ain't my problem, you are Bea: Charming Fraze: A charm offensive ain't gonna get through to you Bea: Calling me a problem ain't gonna get you anything you want Fraze: Come on Fraze: I'm saying I don't care about your sister, I care about you Bea: and I'm saying you're making a non-issue an issue right now Fraze: Alright Bea: Is it? Fraze: If you say so, babe Fraze: I ain't calling you a liar Bea: Good Bea: Don't worry about me okay Bea: We have so much more important things to focus on Fraze: Fuck that, there's nobody more important than you Bea: I think you're legally obligated to say otherwise now Fraze: I wouldn't have them if it weren't for you Fraze: I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you Fraze: It ain't nothing you don't already know Bea: Babe Fraze: I'll shut up now Bea: You know it's more than mutual, don't you Bea: You and me, always, no matter what Fraze: Yeah Bea: I mean it now Bea: no bullshit trial separation stuff again Fraze: I don't wanna be away from you when I have to be working, you ain't getting rid now that I'm on my way back Bea: I don't want rid Bea: never did Fraze: And it goes without saying how fucking beautiful you look but if you need to hear it you will Bea: I'm not desperate or asking for constant reassurance Bea: I'm not that girl Fraze: I know who you are Bea: Yeah Bea: It's just a lot Bea: I wanna feel more like me again Fraze: What else can I do? Bea: There's nothing else you need to do Bea: honest Fraze: But I still wanna Fraze: I'll look after 'em so you can go to the gym or wherever else Bea: I'd rather see you first Fraze: It don't have to be now, the offer stands Bea: Thanks Bea: seriously Fraze: You'd do it for me Fraze: We're a team, you said it Bea: I love you Fraze: Yeah, I know Fraze: I love you too Bea: Hurry up now though Fraze: We need to eat, babe Fraze: I've already pushed to the front of this queue Bea: Damn Bea: when he's a provider Fraze: When ain't I been? Used to provide you with drinks when we were kids, like Bea: It wasn't always you, thank you Fraze: You had your moments, cheers for each one Bea: How dare you Bea: it was a solid 50/50 Fraze: That ain't how I remember it Bea: Convienient Bea: you can't remember a lot of things Fraze: It really weren't at the time but it was worth it to impress you, I remember that Bea: I was not that impressed Fraze: Bullshit Bea: Not bullshit Bea: shut up Fraze: I'm getting in the car, you shut up Bea: Oh yeah, blame me if you crash Bea: that's nice Fraze: It'll be your fault Fraze: And my life insurance ain't all that either so you might wanna think on Bea: 😑 Bea: Go away then Fraze: See you soon then Bea: 💘 Fraze: You're gonna do better than that when I come through the door, yeah? Bea: Focus Bea: I'm NOT making you crash, remember Fraze: You're gonna make me do another detour if you don't say yeah Bea: Really Fraze: Alright no, I'm too tired to be fucking about but humour me, like Fraze: I wanna feel more like me too, and we both know who that cunt is Bea: I happen to like that cunt Fraze: Marry him then Bea: Ha ha Fraze: Pour me a drink, babe Bea: Watch me put it in a bottle Bea: 🍼 Fraze: I'll take what I can get, including those measures Bea: You ain't getting 8oz Bea: but nice try Fraze: That's only my first try Fraze: We'll see Bea: You will, babe Fraze: Nice try yourself Bea: Shut up or I'll start without you Fraze: Are you making that a promise or a threat? Bea: Keep me waiting and find out Fraze: [honey he's home cos honestly shh but we all know its a swag entrance cos he's really missed and loves them all] Bea: [renuinted and it feels so good] Fraze: [just kissing like they in a film casually instead of being two young harassed parents, have your moment babes] Bea: [live your best life lads 'cos the struggle is real] Fraze: [hence him coming in from the rain for that semi throwback cos yolo]

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bgrobinson78 · 3 years ago

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Something New

Someone You Don't Know

Chapter Three, Part Two

June winced as soon as she heard the words leave her lips. Her entire demeanour softened and she heaved a sigh of instant regret. Gray stood as stiff as a board, nearly shaking, and watched as his mother's head dropped.

"I..." she started. Gray could see the cogs of her mind turning, carefully choosing her words. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." He cut her off by storming back up the stairs.

June called after him but it was no use. She sank into the wall.

She flinched as Gray slammed his bedroom door with such force that it echoed through the house. She turned into the living room to see Dani and Marcus staring at her. She walked over to her husband and rested her head on his shoulders. "I went too far."

Gray wanted to punch something. A door, a wall - anything to get this horrible feeling off his chest. The last thing he wanted to do was to provoke his mum even more.

Why the fuck did she say that, he thought. Nothing got him angry like someone insulting his friends, and this time it was his mum.

It's not as if they hadn't fought in the past. They had built a list of arguments from the past two years. It was always petty things; tiny annoyances that spiralled into fights. She'd never gone so low, so quickly, before. Gray felt like he'd been punched in the gut.

The anger built past tipping point and he was welling up. Finding no way to release it, he sat with his back against the door and hugged his knees. He hid his face behind his arms, sobbing.

Later, there was a knock on his door. He didn't move. His mum could save her apologies. He knew she didn't mean it but he couldn't look past it. There was another knock and a voice. "Gray, it's me."

Dani.

Gray got up from his spot by the door and pulled the handle. Dani stood in the doorway with a blank expression on her face; one that hid a caring look in her eyes.

"Did she send you up to check on me?" He asked crossing to his bed. He sat down and picked up his new speaker. Dani stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

"No," She said, going to sit next to him. "Are you okay?" She knew the answer, but what else could she say? When he confirmed what she suspected, she put her arm around him.

"Why would she say that?" Gray said through a haze of tears.

"I don't know." Gray wiped his eyes with the cuff of his shirt.

Dani was always good at giving hugs, the exact person to go to when you need one. He hated that he seemed to need one after every fight, but Dani's hugs made him feel better.

She had been through this all before. Gray remembered some of the fights she used to have with their mum. They would sometimes avoid talking to one another for days after. She was the strong-willed sibling, definitely her mother's daughter. He wasn't sure when, but at some point they seemed to come to an understanding.

"She says things she doesn't mean." Dani said after a while. Gray looked at her.

"But why go for my friends? She knows it sets me off."

"If I knew that maybe we'd have butted heads less."

Gray's mind plumbed the depths of cruel things she could do to punish him. He analysed every scenario of how this latest conflict would bite him back. None of the outcomes were good. "Next she'll want me to stop hanging out with them."

"No she won't," Dani said instantly. Her voice was firm yet gentle.

"How do you know?"

"She's difficult, not a bitch."

The room went quiet as Gray let this sink in. He sat up and wiped away the last of his tears. He was tired. He looked back at the amazing day he'd had. The laughs the group shared echoed in his memory.

He took out his phone and flicked through the album's worth of photos. One of the pictures caught his eye.

It was one of the selfies they took at the bench, taken from his own phone. The array of odd gestures and funny faces made him laugh. Dani peered over his shoulder and laughed with him.

"That's a good one," She said, imitating his own goofy expression. Gray burst out laughing and gently pushed her away. She pushed him back before ruffling his hair.

If he thought about it, they were kind of weird. It was a realisation that filled him with pride. A group of misfits and outcasts finding each other. They were their very own Losers Club.

His bedroom door opened. They looked up to see June stood there. She had a serious, but apologetic, look on her face. Gray sighed and locked his phone.

Dani stood up and went to leave. She stopped by their mum and whispered, "Go easy." She looked back at Gray, before leaving and closing the door quietly behind her.

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duanecbrooks · 8 years ago

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Patton General Remember how I've talked--and more than once--how one of the coolest things about having a DVD player is that it enables you to see--and re-see and re-re-see and re-re-re-see--pictures that you dug when you first saw them in a theater? Well, the fact is, I recently, thanks to said--and fantastically-regarded--DVD player, caught a theatrical film that I saw and dug through watching its trailer on YouTube. That flick, by name, is Baggage Claim, and I can say unequivocally that it's just as stylish, just as qualitative as its trailer--which, again, is on full display thanks to YouTube--wants you to believe. It is indeed a picture that is near-to-bursting with snappy dialogue, attentive direction, and, above all, lively performances--in point of fact, one such performance is easily the highlight of the picture; there'll be more about that as we go on. Indeed, I'll go so far as to say that said cinematic rom-com has worked its way onto my list of Most-Cherished Theatrical Offerings (The others: Body Heat, Boomerang, the great writer-producer-director Garry Marshall's final creative object Mother's Day, and my gal Robin Givens's classic made-for-television film The Penthouse). Now to the picture in question. Claim kicks off with a shot of a church that, after around one minute, has a group of happy, celebratory, greatly well-dressed black folks, having obviously attended/participated in a wedding, bustling out of it. Included, of course, are the bride and the groom--and this quite spirited adolescent, who, we learn, will grow up to be Claim's lead character, Montana Moore (Paula Patton). Through voice-over we hear Montana ruminating on her Mom's, ahem, busy romantic past ("Marriage has always been a big deal to my mother. She loves marriage. Especially hers [Cut to another group of spiffily-attired blacks happily emanating from the same church, the same bride and a different groom included]. And hers [Same scene, only with a different groom]. And hers"). From there Montana lays her cards on the table concerning her own romantic life ("A easy as it is for Mom to get married, my relationships have never been cleared for takeoff"). Cut to a mega-busy airport, where we see planes taking off and landing, folks bustling along in a hurry to get to their planes--and where Montana, still in voice-over, discloses to us her lifelong ambition ("I've always wanted to be a flight attendant...You get to travel around the world, meet interesting people"). We're then taken to our heroine's apartment complex, where before she enters her particular abode she runs into her longtime buddy, William Wright (Derek Luke), to whom she further discloses her hopes regarding her romantic situation ("I don't want to spend my life listening to my mother telling me how she could find five husbands and I can't even find one"), whereupon William tells her what his wife Taylor has cooked up ("She planned a trip to Rome to celebrate our one-year anniversary"). Moving forth: We witness Montana rushing through the airport, anxious to catch the flight she'll be working, and, as she races along, we hear yet another voice-over of hers, wherein she gives us some Mom-originated words of guidance ("According to my mother, you're not a woman until you're married on or before your 30th birthday. And you're not a lady until you've had two kids"). We then see Montana having made the flight she'll be working, and we're also introduced to two of our girl's closest working buddies, brother flight attendant--and card-carrying homosexual--Sam (Adam Brody) and sister flight attendant--and frequent Sam adversary--Gail (Jill Scott). Right away we're given a look at the aforementioned Montana buddies' dueling relationship (Sam: "Gail, I seem to have misplaced my badge. Could you check your cleavage for me, please?"). Later, as the three are congregating in the plane's food-preparation area, Montana lets her friends, and us, in on this guy she's been seeing and how it seems to her like the guy is going to pop the question. Gail, for her part, bluntly hurls cold water upon said scenario ("Montana is not getting married. If she was, as her best friend, I would know first"). Shift to Montana with this guy, a smoothly handsome dude named Graham (Boris Kodjoe), where the two of them are affectionately pressed against each other during a cruise and Montana is absolutely over the moon about it all ("Graham, you have talked about [us taking this cruise] for so long...[The view is] absolutely beautiful!"). We get a marvelously-shot montage of Montana and Graham coming together physically--during which Patton shows that not only is she achingly gorgeous but has a BITCHIN' bod--then we see the latter dropping the former off at a hotel, claiming a need to attend to his professional life ("I got an emergency phone call. I got to fly to New York"). When our Montana gets to her room, she calls up gal-friend Gail, who right away demands that her buddy fill her in on the progress of her relationship ("Are you guys doing it?"). Afterward--after zipping down her exercise outfit so a nearby hunk who's also exercising can see her cleavage--Gail urges girlfriend Montana to go out to Graham's house and spy on him so she can ascertain for sure whether or not he's on the up-and-up. To which Montana, no surprise here, initially objects. We continue. Claim takes us to Graham's rather luxurious house and Montana sneaking up on said house--fully demonstrating that, pace her initial resistance, she's just dying to know whether or not Graham is playing it straight with her. Upon getting close to the aforementioned house, Montana rings up Gail, who, respectively, upbraids the former ("I didn't think you would do it [follow Gail's advice to spy on Graham]!") and instructs her ("Do not knock on that man's door! You'll look like a stalker"). Upon looking in the window, Montana, and we, see Graham in his living room going over some papers, which greatly eases her mind (Montana in voice-over: "[Graham] was preparing for his meeting, just like he told me he was. Gail was wrong!"). Alas for her, however, Montana, along with us, sees a stunning woman enter and Graham fondly helping her off with her coat--both of which clearly saying that Gail's suspicions were entirely valid; Graham indeed does not consider himself, and never considered himself, Montana's guy alone. Having been thus chastened, our gal makes a quick--and quite saddened--exit. In time we're transported to Montana's apartment and witness the drop-ins of Mom Catherine (Jenifer Lewis) and younger sis Sheree (Lauren London), both of whom bearing big, big news (Catherine to Montana: "We [she and Sheree] are so excited! We wanted you to be the first to know." Sheree to Montana: "I wanted you to be the first to know." Catherine: "After me"): Sheree is getting married. This, unsurprisingly, distresses Montana big-time and we next see her in a bar pouring her heart out to Sam/Gail ("I just can't go to my little sister's wedding alone! I'll be the laughing stock of the family"). Sam at first seizes upon Montana's predicament to stick it to Gail ("Why don't you take Gail? She never waxes her moustache. [Your family will] think she's Steve Harvey"), then comes up with the notion of Montana's "accidentally" encountering all of her exes until she finds the one who will accompany her to Sheree's wedding. Here we meet Montana's other working pals, among them Cedric, the fellow who checks passengers before they board ("First name, Cedric. Last name, take everything out your pockets! I need your pockets out your pockets!"). Since the scheme came from Sam, Gail balks at it, but he pushes on, citing the considerable, as he sees it, benefit to Montana ("[W]e can come to the aid of the sweetest, most fantastic human being alive"). Let's press on.Montana is at first resistant to Sam's ploy but then Catherine makes another visit, again guilt-tripping her oldest daughter ("I started thinking, my daughter is marrying a handsome, athletic young man. I may not be alive to see my oldest daughter do the same"), and, upon Catherine's leaving, Montana is on board concerning Sam's notion. As William is driving Montana to the airport, he comes up with some especially wise words--"You know, Mo, the magic isn't in getting married. It's in staying married." We get further introduction to Montana's charmingly loopy working friend Cedric as he's going about his business regarding passengers ("I have no life! Which gives me all day to ruin yours!"), then Montana boards this plane wherein she'll meet, according to Sam, her first prospect, one Damon Diesel (Tremaine Neverson)--who, let it be said, was initially dismissed as prospect by Gail ("You gotta be kidding me! Damon Diesel can barely take care of himself, much less a family"). Montana is ready to dump the entire plan when, lo and behold, Damon spots her and lets her know that he has ("I'd love to see the stitches in that skirt"). Having discovered each other, the two get to be on friendly terms, to the point where Damon responds quite favorably when Mo enquires as to just how long he'll be in town (Damon: "Long enough to spend some quality time [with you]. If I'm allowed." Mo, smiling warmly: "You're allowed"). As they spend more time together, Damon becomes more and more enamored of Montana (The former to the latter, with clear-cut affection: "You could stay awake for the rest of your life and you'd still be beautiful to me"). In time Damon takes Montana to what he tells her is her place and she, along with we, find him taking a nice, warm bubble bath--in which he eagerly invites Montana to participate. However, trouble, big trouble in paradise soon comes, at first knocking on, then banging and, eventually, screeching at the door, in the form of Janine (Tia Mowry), a key executive at Damon's label and his current main squeeze to boot. Having met Montana earlier when she stopped by her and Damon's table to remind him of an upcoming meeting, Janine, her Spidey sense going full-blast, is well aware of the likelihood that Montana is inside with him and the prospect has her going flat-out postal ("Damon, I know you hear me! Open this damn door!...Damon, I know you ain't got that 'ho from the restaurant [referencing Mo] in there!...I'm gonna shoot you and that bitch!...Open! Open, open, open, open!"). Happily, and at Damon's urging, our lady manages to hide out on the stairwell outside while, inside, Janine continues hollering and ranting at Damon. Yet it soon goes from raining to pouring when Catherine calls, inviting her dear daughter to a pre-wedding slumber party ("We're all here in our pajamas, and we want you to come over"). Montana, for her part, winds up slinking away, having been thoroughly defeated and being totally dejected. More transpires. On a flight she' s working, Montana happens upon two former beaus--Curtis and Langston Jefferson Battle III (Taye Diggs), the latter currently running for Congress. Montana and Langston wind up together and the latter wasts no time turning his considerable charm on her, inviting her to a meeting he's scheduled to have with a hoped-for financial backer (Him to her: "Would you happen to know a young lady--gorgeous, intelligent--who would be so gracious as to join me?" Her, in a warm tone: "If I'm asked." Him: "Consider yourself asked"). Fast forward to that meeting, where we see Mo and Langston hook up with that hoped-for financial backer, one Howard Donaldson (Ned Beatty), accompanied by his wife. Right away Donaldson is warm and gracious toward Mo ("Young lady, I hope you can withstand this election [involving Langston] will surely bring"), then Langston tells their waitress what he'd like to have and...he orders for Mo, also. This of course mightily pees her off, so Langston takes her off to one side and "explains." ("[Financial supporters] want to know that the candidate they're backing is a take-charge man. A leader"). The evening continues and, to Langston's great delight, Donaldson strongly takes to him ("If you're not elected to Congress, it won't be because of insufficient financial support"). Yet the evening takes a fiercely uncomfortable (for Langston) turn when Donaldson raises the issue of just how "black" Langston genuinely is, eventually bringing Tiger Woods's alleged lack of real and true "blackness" into the conversation. Understandably wanting to lighten the increasingly grim mood, Mo quips: "What I think would make Tiger Woods black is that he drives an Escalade and his Daddy's name is Earl." Her humor, however, doesn't go over well with Langston and when the two get back to the latter's hotel room, he aggressively bawls her out. In the midst of his denunciation the phone rings and, when Langston picks it up, he discovers that it's Donaldson with good news: Being wholly enchanted by Mo's wit--after the call, Langston informs her, and us, that Donaldson told him that her wisecrack "was the highlight of [Donaldson's] evening"--Donaldson has decided to double his monetary contribution. Yet rather than recognize and express appreciation for the obvious fact that Montana was an enormous asset to the evening, Langston patronizingly tells her The Facts Of Life ("[S]ometimes being [the] greater [woman besides the man] means being quiet"). Here our Mo naturally becomes fed up and, after telling Langston off big-time ("New actions, new outcome. Same asshole, same outcome...You haven't changed a bit. Langston"), she angrily storms out, permanently crossing him off her list. And so Claim goes, with Montana at last finally sucking it up and telling her assembled family that she doesn't have a boyfriend and that that fact doesn't have any negative impact on her ("Marriage doesn't make you a lady. Any more than standing in a garage makes you a car...I like me. A lot. With or without a husband"), at last finally discovering that it's her old and cherished pal William who's her real and true love--which brings about a cinematic-rom-com first: a woman (our Montana) rushing to and through the airport in order to intercept her male love object (William)--and at last finally William getting down on his knees right there in the airport, slipping an engagement ring upon our lady's finger, warmly proposing marriage, and our gal tearfully--and happily--saying yes, culminating in joining William on his knees and the two of them sharing a soulful and loving kiss while still in the airport--a scene which is just as moving and winning as when Kevin Costner and Kelly Preston did it at the conclusion of the former's legendary baseball picture For Love Of The Game. Claim ends with Mo pals Gail and Sam, relieved that their lady buddy's romantic melodrama is over, sharing a taxi and winding up battling with each other over a man that they previously didn't know they shared (Sam to Gail: "You bitch! That's my man! I had him first!"). So that's Claim, a flick that not only deserves high marks for being a black-oriented picture that to a greater degree than even Boomerang staunchly refuses to in any capacity shove race down our throats--the aforementioned scene with Montana, Langston, and Donaldson and his wife is literally the only time during Claim's unspooling that race is dealt with and, as was not the case with Boomerang, not in any victimization sense--but merits praise for being, on its own, a highly likable, warmly funny, and smoothly stylish theatrical rom-com. Ned Beatty, as said financial backer Howard Donaldson, is appealingly unctuous and, in time, appealingly race-conscious. Tia Mowry packs her role as "spurned" woman Janine with sizzling energy and rousing humor. Jenifer Lewis as Montana Mom Catherine is engagingly commanding and, in her confession scene with Mo, engagingly forthright. Christina Milian, as kid sister Taylor, wins us over with her dazzling spunk and her unflagging fizziness. Jill Scott and Adam Brody, as Montana compadres Gail and Sam are entirely warming with their steadfast loyalty and their graceful sparring. All of the men in Montana's life--Djimon Hounsou as a hotel magnate who is the deciding factor in Montana's eventual determination to absolutely refuse to allow a man to define her; Diggs, Kodjoe, Neverson, and Luke, the fellow our lady with whom she at last finally winds up--are all stylishly amiable and agreeably manly. David E. Talbert, adapting from his original book, provides the cast with spicily humorous and spicily sexy things to say and do. And Talbert the director deftly creates an air of tangy camaraderie and simmering sexuality that, to his great credit, he maintains throughout the entire picture. Now to Paula Patton. She is, in a word, sensational. Starting off with the fact that her slender statesqueness--she's 5'7", to be precise--gives her a forcefully enticing valkyrie appeal, she's an honestly captivating blend of urbane beauty, Seven-Sisters-colleges charm, and Katana-sharp intelligence. Whenever she's in a two-shot, regardless of who the other actor is, her carefully-polished good looks and her runway-model sexiness have your eyes riveted upon her. You might remember that, in an earlier article, I discussed the sincerely depressing scarcity of contemporary big-screeners in which there is the emergence of a real and true female star, the monumental lack of modern-day pictures which feature the appearance of an honest cinematic diva who shines mega-brightly and who easily towers not only over her brother-and-sister theatrical-film actors but over us as well, such as Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and Sandra Bullock in Speed and my lady Robin Givens in Boomerang. It is Baggage Claim that forcefully and proudly shows that Paula Patton deserves to be added to that woefully short list.

#baggage claim #Body Heat #boomerang #garry marshall #mother's day #robin givens #The Penthouse #paula patton #julia roberts #pretty woman #Sandra Bullock #speed

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