#my mom's theory is that like. they just kinda. absorbed all that nastiness

[katierosefun]

wait i was looking up cases of bullying in schools when the word Eton came up and i just discovered how ugly it is behind all the pretence they put up, bullying, corruption and dishonesty run rampant in there. I can't help but imagine Juwon in there, how horrible it must have been for him... hell he probably was one of the few asian kid there at that surrounded by conceited rich british guys that think they're better than anyone and everything must be hand over to them, my heart breaks thinking about what he might have faced. I'm realizing that many of his antics actually make so much sense, all his resoluteness about delivering justice and dismantling corruption... sad hours open i guess :(

oh dear wait x2 actually! i remembered the part after the egg scene in which he's washing up and about to remove his shirt when chief nam enters and he so quickly puts it back on... I'm definitely reading too much into it but, bUT that makes me sad? it kinda gives me the idea that he was bullied even physically other than shamed? but had to keep everything to himself cause who could he even talk to? I'm sorry idk if this makes much sense but i kinda wanted to share to you cause you always give precious and interesting insights, things i missed or didn't consider (2/2)

oh . . . .. yeah, anon, while i'm not british, i def. hardcore relate to the feeling of going to a school and quickly realizing that you're one of the only (if not the only) asian person, surrounded by spoiled white kids who parrot the awful things their parents say. (only i think joo won had it off worse. at least i knew english, and at least i had siblings and parents to go back to, but joo won . . . joo won's. like. eight. seven, maybe. his dad never visited him. he didn't even have his babysitter around. hyuk's nonexistent to him at this point in his life. there's no one.)

and oh god yeah, actually i think a lot about how joo won must have probably faced all kinds of bullying when in the locker rooms. (i mean. also. part of the queer experience definitely makes locker rooms even doubly uncomfortable for a variety of reasons. also. like. there's this annoying habit that white people especially like to project on asian boys and asian men in general, usually (derogatorily, of course) deeming them more feminine and therefore gay (ie. nothing wrong with being gay, ofc, but we all know that when it's said like that, it's never out of acceptance, is it). (but anyways. that might also explain joo won's . . . well. listen. he can act all uncaring and etc. but it's pretty clear from the way he looks at dong sik screams "repressed").

your point about joo won being so obsessive with the idea of punishment and justice stemming from being a victim of bullying absolutely hits the nail on the head too. i think that when one's severely bullied (and the bullies never seem to get in trouble--they always either seem to have the teachers already on their side, or if they're punished, the punishment is always ridiculously minimal), that can really feed a kid's ideas of what justice should look like. (and also just make them hellishly angrier. like, rightfully so though. you see kids doing cruel shit + adults enabling or encouraging them, and then your brain kicks into Angry and Bitter Overdrive through the rest of your life and etc.)