#my friends have proof! They've seen me in action!

[ghcstcd]

Okay hear me out. Water Ghouls can do that weird bellow rumbling like a male alligator. Just a ghoul laying in the churches water fountain trying to seduce another Ghoul who is very confused why their friend is growling at them. - ♉

That's adorable...

[kzele]

Unpopular TSSM Opinion

Sha-Shan was a better example of a serious moral compass love interest to Flash than Gwen was to, well, anybody.

The gal clearly has no problem turning a guy down until they've proven he isn't a too much of a douche. And she doesn't care how popular they are. If they make make the right, but hard choices, then they've got her interest.

Gwen, on the other hand, can’t seem to judge any of her friend’s moods or situations correctly and make an appropriate decision. For instance, whether as friends or love interests she and Harry are a dumpster fire. When the guy passes out in the courtyard and then avoids her, what does she do? Does she (a) tell her COP dad about it at home, (b) tell Harry’s father, (c) tell a teacher/coach/school counselor AKA any other figure in a position of actual authority? Nope. She tells Peter that something’s wrong with Harry, but doesn’t elaborate enough for him to take her concerns seriously, so he puts it among the lesser problems he has to deal with. Because if Peter was actually told the specifics, this would be MUCH higher on his problems list. There’s no way he’d have to be bullied into talking with Harry, otherwise. (Also, how is it possible that she couldn’t sense anything off about Eddie after he returned to the lab? He’s obviously creepy and fake and you’ve known him since you were both in single digits. If it was just Eddie this happened with, I wouldn’t be having my doubts about her judgement.)

This brings me to my next point about boundaries. Peter respects hers more than she respects his. Thus, she can only enforce her boundaries and/or will if someone already respects her. Harry and Gwen’s full-on couple status is proof. Harry’s shoved her against a locker, jumped over her during a villain attack (did he ever apologize for that?), and the first thing he does is ignore his new girlfriend in favor of calling his dad about having a girlfriend. Oh, and she’s ignoring all these red flags in an implied attempt to make Peter jealous. Nuff said about that ball of toxicity they got going on.

Flash saw Sha-Shan as a hot nerd/rebound, then as a challenge, and finally as someone whom he wants to be respected by. She didn’t let him get anywhere by being a jerk or overstepping. Granted, she had the benefit of not caring about Flash’s opinion of her, like Gwen would with long-time friends. And yet, despite being very judgy about him at the start, once they’re together she understands that Flash will say/do dumb things but it doesn’t take away from his good heart. Sha-Shan accepts him and his flaws. Ironically, despite Gwen being in love with Peter over Harry, you’ll be hard-pressed to find a time where she cuts Peter any slack for anything even when it’s not his fault. Including and up to not dying.(Not actually joking about that. See Christmas Tree aftermath s2ep3.) Maybe it’s just me, but I swear Harry and Eddie could be be kicking puppies off the Brooklynn Bridge in front of her and she’d be giving Peter the silent treatment for missing her calls trying to stop it.

I'm aware that Gwen isn't evil whatsoever but I find her immensely frustrating when TSSM has better female characters to choose from. And this post is for other people who agree with me. I'm not denying the flaws of anyone else here, be it Peter or Harry or whoever else, but I can't cover my thoughts on all the dynamics at play here without overloading my laptop and this site. I feel like Gwen's actions in the show get glossed over a lot. I've seen Peter and Harry get criticized for their actions and sympathy for their differently bad lives within the show, but Gwen. . .doesn't get that same scrutiny. She makes objectively horrible/stupid choices about how to go about things in her relationships but somehow she seems to get less spotlight shed on those things. Instead, the responsibility is often shoved the two guys for screwing up, despite either having far more on their plate or a bad home life. Anyways, I've rambled incoherently enough. Hope it brought you some food for thought even if you don't agree with everything.

[prove-it-or-lose-it]

@wayward-wren that other post was getting to be a chore to scroll through, so I hope you don't mind that I'm moving my responses to a new one. If I've missed something you'd really like a response to, just remind me about it and I'll do my best. I think I've pulled everything that I wanted to go over here.

> Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 1:22-23  "For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles..." You're not alone in your skepticism, and that's why we have to rely on God.

I understand why you think that way, but my skepticism means that I can't rely on god. I can't appeal to something that hasn't met its burden of proof in order to explain other things that haven't met their burden of proof either. This just doesn't work, it's not a logical conclusion to make. In the absence of evidence for the claims, I must reject them until they can be shown to be true.

> Where does your morality come from? You can't claim God is evil without defining what evil is. Is evil hurting others? Then being a personal trainer would be evil, because exercise hurts.

This is hard to explain briefly. I mean, philosophers have been trying to nail down morality for about as long as all of written history. But what we see is that morality is an ever shifting social construct. There are things that we understand now to be morally bad which were seen as good or neutral in the past. And in the future I'm sure there are things we won't look upon favorably that are totally fine today.

Morality can't exist in a vacuum, so it needs a goal in order to sort of ground it. For me, it starts simply; the goal is to promote human flourishing and well-being while mitigating as much harm and suffering as possible. The evidence that this is a worthwhile goal is this: we, and even other mammalian species, have an awareness that individual suffering diminishes the chances of group survival, so in order to make sure we all flourish we ought to care for one another.

So I really don't believe in evil, though this might be a semantic point. With respect to my goal stated above, how can I see any moral value to a commandment that tells me that people should be used as property? This degrades and dehumanizes both subject and master, maybe even irreparably, and does nothing to promote human flourishing.

And this view is capable of accounting for nuance, whereas "don't look at someone and think they're sexy," is a harsh, black and white statement that amounts to thought crime, which is something that has no use other than to mentally dominate people and make them subservient. And for what? Thoughts like this cause no harm as long as the thought doesn't lead to any external, non-consensual action, and most of the time if not all, they're completely involuntary. It's control for the sake of control without even approaching being a moral value.

The nuance comes in as well with your personal trainer example, though I'd argue that the trainer is not harming directly but guiding a person through a process that will indeed cause some self harm, but with a positive goal. It's contractual and the recipient knows that the slight harm is to their benefit. Similarly, we consent to surgery which can be very risky harm, with the goal of becoming well. Absolute, black and white commands don't leave room for this and should ultimately be rejected in favor of a reasoned approach that takes all available information into account.

If god commands us not to lie, did he know that in 1930's Germany a great number of compassionate people, often devoted believers, would hide people in their homes who were taking refuge from a fascist regime? Did he expect those people who lied to the officers banging at their door, in order to protect innocent lives, to beg his forgiveness for misleading men with murder and torture in their minds? If my friend is in an abusive relationship and they've come to my place to call for help, and their enraged partner comes to me asking where my friend is, what forgiveness do I need for telling them that my friend isn't there? I've done no wrong, but this imperative given with no caveats or grey areas allowed brands me with the title of sinner and I object. Real life application of morality is rarely, if ever, as cut and dry as these ancient edicts would imply.

> If there is a God who created the world and is so much more powerful than the beings He created, why can't he make the rules?

I don't think that there is a god, or that the world was created, but to entertain the hypothetical; of course, I'd have no choice but to accept that those are the rules, but I'd also have no obligation to follow the rules if I have the free will you say I do. I don't necessarily believe in free will, but I would never follow an immoral command. If a god told me to go and do a genocide on the Canaanites or to keep slaves, for example, I would have all the information I needed to conclude that this god is a tyrant and undeserving of obedience or worship. I'd be damned, but my conscience would be clear.

> The thing with Christianity, is it's a story of God reaching to man. Every single other religion is man reaching to God. Every single other religion is a works based religion. Every single other religion is focused on how we can be Good Enough for God.

I don't have much to say here, except this: do you know every single other religion that has ever existed? Have you studied the Vedas of Hinduism, or whatever texts are foundational to Shintoism? How about ancient religions of fallen civilizations lost to time? Is it not more than a little bit dishonest to make broad, sweeping claims about "every single other religion," especially when your own's adherents can hardly agree among one another on what the official doctrine demands? These things are complicated and we shouldn't make such generalizations given the vast amount of study one would have to go through in order to truly know what you're claiming to know here.

[merp-blerp]

A Gaylor/Kaylor Interpretation of "Cowboy Like Me" because it's National Day of the Cowboy

Overblown Analysis Under the Cut ↓

"And the tennis court was covered up // With some tent-like thing // And you asked me to dance // But I said, "Dancin' is a dangerous game" // Oh, I thought // This is gonna be one of those things // Now I know // I'm never gonna love again"

The narrator, who I'm just going to call Taylor (for simplicity's sake even if it might be more of a fictional/metaphorical interpretation of her and others), seems to be at a very high society party. Mentions of a tennis court make me think of a country club, a club for sports and social events that I believe are often populated by well-off people. Country club specifically makes me wonder if there are any ties to Taylor's country music roots. I think country club imagery could represent the rich industry she's in and the tennis court party is a party or gathering people in the industry are having.

Taylor's lover asks her to dance at this party, which could be dangerous if the people at the party don't agree with their type of relationship. Or maybe it's dangerous because Taylor knows she'll fall in love with this person, or she's already in love with this person and doesn't want to fuel the fire in her. It could be "one of those things", a situation that would be hard to go through or get out of.

I like how this line directly parallels the opening lines of "Wildest Dreams". In that song, Taylor believes the relationship will end poorly due to the circumstances she and her lover are in, so she plans ahead for the heartbreak so it will hurt less. "You know how scared I am of elevators // Never trust it if it rises fast // It can't last" (from "Labyrinth"). But in this song, now she's on the other side, knowing how everything went down, but I'll talk more about the last bit of the line later.

Taylor's lover asking her to dance seems to indicate that they are much less concerned about the danger of such an action. In my "But Daddy I Love Him" analysis, I state that Karlie always seemed a bit louder than Taylor and more willing to be seen as queer in some way, even if through the male gaze or in a way that still upholds her closet.

I find it interesting that you can't really tell if this is supposed to be Taylor and her lover's first-ever interaction. It seems ambiguous if they've met before or not. There are theories that Kaylor met in some way before 2013, so maybe that unclearness is reflected here.

It's also interesting that Taylor opens this song with "And". And what? You haven't said anything else. It seems like she's omitted something in the story that would've come before the "And".

"I've got some tricks up my sleeve // Takes one to know one..."

This line seems to connect to "Mastermind" or "New Romantics", as Taylor schemes to get the person she wants. Tay's used card game imagery plenty before. Often, she uses it as a way to communicate how honest someone's being, showing their cards (like in "The Prophecy" and "Cornelia Street") or hiding their cards because they aren't being transparent (like "Say Don't Go" and "Foolish One"). Taylor might not want to fall in love, but she wants the person in general, so she's got tricks up her sleeve. In "Mastermind" she's sure she wants the person physically, but their deep love for one another and committed relationship seems to have happened by mistake almost. À la "I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this" from "Paper Rings" or "We were supposed to be just friends... I was supposed to sweat you out" from "Glitch".

If she and the lover are both queer, it would take one to know one, as queer people are typically pretty good at finding each other through flagging, better than a straight person could due to a lack of knowledge. "No proof, not much // But you saw enough" (from "You Are in Love").

"You're a cowboy like me // Never wanted love // Just a fancy car // Now I'm waiting by the phone // Like I'm sitting in an airport bar"

I also mentioned in my "But Daddy I Love Him" analysis that cowboys have tons of queer history attached to them that often get erased in favor of something more digestible to general audiences, similar to Taylor, her brand, and her music. So Taylor knows that her lover is a cowboy like her, as in queer like her.

"Never wanted love // Just a fancy car" communicates to me that Taylor, as well as her lover seemingly, never wanted to fall in love because it would jeopardize their careers to be in the kind of committed queer relationship they wanted, so why welcome love with open arms if it'll hurt so bad? Plenty of Taylor's songs speak about trying to fight her feelings and ultimately failing, including this one. She's not saying she's never been in love necessarily, but that she's never wanted to be.

The fancy car could also be a light reference to "'Cause all the boys and their expensive cars... Never took me quite where you do" from "King of My Heart". She wanted the shininess of making her own name and fame through bearding with boys, like a "fancy car".

She seems surprised that she's so serious about the relationship because she didn't intend to fall in love, despite clearly wanting this person and having "tricks up my sleeve" to get them. Maybe she expected to "sweat" them out, like in "Glitch". But Taylor's now waiting by the phone just to get their call, so anxious to hear from them.

The "airport bar" is interesting. In an airport, you're supposed to get in and out, not sit around as if it's a hangout space, like a bar. Even if they have bars at the airport, I don't see a lot of people sitting around there for a while. But Taylor does use it that way, sitting at a "bar" when she shouldn't be. It's odd behavior, much like waiting by the phone. Similarly to the airport, you're supposed to go to it when it rings and then leave when the conversation is over, not sit around by it. Taylor finds her behavior odd and compares it to what would be equally odd things to do.

"You had some tricks up your sleeve // Takes one to know one // You're a cowboy like me..."

Taylor reveals that her lover is also as cunning as she is. This line reminds me of "So I kept my cards close to my foolproof vest // But you called my bluff (But you called my bluff) // And saw through all my tells (And saw through all my tells)" from "The Joker and the Queen", which itself reminds me of "But then you called, showed your hand" from "Cornelia Street". Maybe the lover called Taylor as she sat by the phone and was honest about their tricks. The lover knows Taylor's next moves, much like how Betty knows James's, and is ready to play the "dangerous game".

"Perched in the dark // Tellin' all the rich folks anything they wanna hear // Like it could be love // I could be the way forward // Only if they pay for it."

The dark is the shade of the closet. Both she and the lover rest there. I find it fun that perching can be seen as a bird thing, which could tie to "The Albatross".

One way to see it, the "rich folks" are industry people. Taylor and the lover tell these people the things they want to hear. Maybe those things could be lies about just how close they are to calm worries about their romance and the scandal it could cause. They tell them these lies as if they are protecting their love. "Like it could be love". The love Taylor didn't want to have initially.

Taylor was Big Machine's first artist. She was "the way forward" for them as a label. The way to get them ahead in the business. They could've paid for it by giving her money as an employee, but also paying for it as in to suffer for a wrong, as Taylor left Big Machine after they reaped the benefits she brought and betrayed her after, paying for it by having their rep as a label tank due to the bad press from their betrayal.

"You're a bandit like me // Eyes full of stars // Hustling for the good life, never thought I'd meet you here // It could be love // We could be the way forward // And I know I'll pay for it."

A bandit takes things. It can also be a synonym for cowboy in some instances. If Taylor and her lover were "Hustling for the good life" as bandits, they were trying to make it in their fields and "take the money" if you will. From a Kaylor standpoint, "hustle culture" was starting to pick up steam around the time they met.

Women in the industry are often questioned if they got their success through fair means, accused of "sleeping their way to the top", using money to get themselves there, or being "industry plants". Some people want to hate successful women and can't possibly see them as getting to where they are naturally. I don't think Taylor is saying she and her lover actually did those things to get where they are, but is saying she and her lover have been accused of those things. I've seen people accuse Taylor of being a spoiled rich kid who got famous thanks to her father's money, which could've been beneficial of course, but completely ignores how Taylor's image spoke to many people and continues to do so. Meanwhile, if we take this from a Kaylor perspective, Karlie has been accused of clout chasing, using Taylor.

"Eyes full of stars" means having a lot of dreamy fantasies to me. Taylor and her lover had big dreams of making it in the industries they're in. I do wonder if you could also take this line as in "seeing stars", which is when you see flashes during/after being hit in the head. Taylor has dealt with the brunt of a lot of blows from critics about dumb things like being too successful, being too nice, being a "victim-player/playing the victim", being "too skinny" or "too fat", etc. Both she and Karlie were bullied as kids and can be bullied even today for rumors and petty things. It also reminds me of "I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed" from "loml", a line that I think is about Taylor once believing she was better off safe in the closet rather than out and putting herself in danger even if the idea of being out made her happy.

She knew she'd get the lover, but never expected or wanted the love that their relationship gave her. Now she is admitting "It could be love" and that their relationship could be the way forward to happiness. But she knows that she'll pay the price for being herself, like intense bearding or more mental/emotional pain.

"And the skeletons in both our closets // Plotted hard to fuck this up // And the old men that I've swindled // Really did believe I was the one..."

The skeletons and old men are industry people again. If they are old people, I like to see Tay calling them skeletons as if to say they might as well have one foot in the grave 'cause they're not only old but cruel. They are in the lovers's closets because they know about their relationship at this point and plotted hard to tear them apart, either as a couple or tear apart their faith in trying to come out or believe in themselves, etc. The phrase "skeletons in the closet" means something bad that you hide away. So the old men are people they have left behind and would like to keep in the past, so Big Machine in this interpretation.

Taylor swindled these old men by being the way forward and then ditching them as soon as she could without keeping their good name. They really believed she was the one that would make them big, but she ended up being their downfall too, as if she'd be passive about their betrayal.

Alternatively, the old men could be some of the beards Taylor's had, as some of them were significantly older than her, believing that being attached to her would make them more famous, but she brought their image down after the "breakup" with songs that general fans see as pointing to them. I admittedly prefer the former, but thought I'd mention this idea.

"And the ladies lunchin' have their stories about // When you passed through town // Oh, but that was all before I locked it down."

The ladies lunchin' are Taylor's squad to me, discussing Kar passing "through town". I've said in several analyses now that I interpreted the "town" in TTPD songs to be Taylor's tours and the fanbase that gathers there, and I've thought about this metaphor potentially expanding to Tay's past albums too. Tay's friends have their stories about Kar going to Taylor's tours. "Lunching" to me feels similar to saying a tea party in this case, and tea parties in slang can be gatherings to gossip. So Taylor's friends have juicy stories about Karlie at tour; maybe having to do with Karlie "being loud" and not holding back her love in dark crowded arenas/stadiums. I know I've heard stories about Kar visibly flustering or blowing kisses at tours. There was also the "Karlie Kam" during the 1989 World Tour which featured lots of Taylor's friends and Karlie, so the squad has their stories. The ladies lunchin' could be us Kaylors too, honestly, as we do discuss Tay and Kar at tours or literally in towns.

"Before I locked it down" could be many things. It could be a reference to the "love lockdown/blackout" theory. It could be a reference to marriage, as marrying someone could mean making the ultimate commitment and agreeing to be together forever legally (ideally), locking it in place. It could be a reference to the COVID lockdown and Loverfest, Taylor's plan for another tour, a fandom "town gathering" if you will, forcibly canceled, which could connect to the last line's interpretation.

"Now you hang from my lips // Like the Gardens of Babylon // With your boots beneath my bed // Forever is the sweetest con."

Taylor's lover hangs from her lips like a folktale that has no technical proof, as the Gardens of Babylon have no conclusive evidence of where it was, despite historians seemingly believing they existed. There's nothing to point at to definitively say they existed, so some might not believe they did due to that, but some still believe anyway. Very much like Kaylor and being a gaylor. Sometimes there's no proof, you just know.

Boots beneath the bed could be sexual, like leaving a bra at someone's place. But it could suggest domesticity, living with a partner and having your clothes around, or not living together all the time but leaving your things at each others' houses like a second home. Kind of like leaving a typewriter at someone's apartment *wink* *wink*.

"Forever is the sweetest con" could be a call back to Taylor's fear of love and how she thought it was a con that would get her in trouble when it actually turned out to be pretty sweet for her. It could also be taken in a sad way, as she and her lover weren't able to keep things feeling next to normal forever; Taylor bearded again after taking a break during the early stages with Karlie, the love lockdown happened, and the sparkling summer rusted with no coming out. Now their love must be fully elusive and "unprovable" to the general public.

"I've had some tricks up my sleeve // Takes one to know one // You're a cowboy like me // And I'm never gonna love again // I'm never gonna love again // I'm never gonna love again."

"I've got" and "You had" becoming "I've had" could just be Taylor recounting the past, but it could also be Taylor saying she has a new coming out plan brewing since the old one fell through. She's had the plan for a while now, and it takes being queer to know about it. Takes one to know one.

The "I'm never gonna love again" could be taken in multiple ways and I think that's kind of cool. Not every gaylor is a Kaylor and some believe Taylor isn't or was never with Karlie romanticly, which is fine as long as we're all cordial with our different beliefs. If someone believes they were together, but broke up, they could see this line as Taylor declaring she'll never love again, either in a dramatic forlorn way or in the sense of just being aware she'll never feel the exact same for anyone else. But as an LSK, I believe they are still together and see these lines as akin to "And who's gonna hold you like me? // Nobody" from "TTPD". She never wants to break from Karlie so she'll never love again with someone new.

This song is like a choose-your-own-adventure story, where you can believe whatever you want about it. It could be a breakup song or a love song depending on how you see it. Much like being a fan of Taylor and participating in the fandom. You believe in whatever story you please and Taylor will never really confirm or deny anything, at least not to date. You can believe in the general storyline, you can believe in gaylor, you can believe in certain relationships she might've had, or do none of that and just enjoy the art. This song really encapsulates that spirit.

[lucysinatizzy]

Really weird that you’re denying the harassment of non hellcheer shippers. My friends and I have gotten harassed with death threats and racism for no reason other than not shipping hellcheer, none of us said anything negative, just that we don’t ship it.

Even if someone says something negative, that still doesn’t warrant hellcheer shippers telling them to kill themselves, doxxing them, being homophobic/transphobic, and racist/antisemitic.

If you have actual proof of actual hellcheer shippers sending you and your friends harassment/death threats/being bigots, then show it. I keep hearing about this, yet no one's provided any evidence so far, despite hellcheer supporters themselves asking for it multiple times. I've also seen them receive similar anon asks and say they'd condemn the stuff you're talking about if there was proof of it happening.

Let's get something out of the way. Hellcheer supporters have put in a ridiculous amount of time and effort into debunking bs claims. They're always up to bat. If there was legitimate proof of them being horrible, the steddies and quinnies (whatever they're called) would be shoving it in everyone's faces and doing a victory lap all over social media. They did that with their false accusations and fabricated evidence before being exposed for lying, publicly shamed, Joseph himself calling their actions disgusting, and having articles written about them.

Unless you're holding out on your comrades... After spending a year trying to take down hellcheer and Grace, don't tell me you really left them hanging like that when you and your friends had the proof all along??? They tried so hard to paint both as some flavor of bigot or deviant... just throwing everything at the wall to see what might stick and you did them dirty like that? You could've saved them from a world of embarrassment.

At best, I'm extremely doubtful that you and your friends are totally innocent. No one would give a crap if you simply didn't like a ship and we both know that. I keep seeing the same people who've harassed hellcheer shippers and Grace (or those who won't stfu about how it's 'problematic' when in reality a little fictional blonde cheerleader that's dead just made them feel insecure) turn around and pretend to be the real victims after getting exposed. Grown adults whining that they've done nothing wrong or downplaying their actions while there are dozens of posts on their account of them purposefully antagonizing shippers and saying the wildest shit I've ever read with nothing to back it up.

If you have the evidence, put it out there. Expose them. As a bisexual Asian chick, I'd like to know if I'm interacting with a bunch of racists and homophobes or whatever. All I've mostly seen so far is a small group of white women mlm shippers weaponizing extremely serious issues like racism for their stupid shipping war because they know how much damage it can cause in today's social climate. It's not a joke or a toy to play with. If you're making things up to get back at strangers online over some dead fictional characters on a show, then you should be ashamed of yourself for going so low. Without proof, that's all I'm going to take it as and nothing else will change my mind.

[ironlvngs]

He's not sure if Link's even aware of it, but limiting their actions to the mere touch took great restraint. He wanted to pull them closer, to wrap them in his embrace and apologize over and over again until the weight of the words sunk in. To ask, not just about the rumors that were swirling, but everything. To know each detail they'd missed when they'd selfishly shut themselves off from the world, when the visits ended and the wall began building itself between them. Their arm returns to their side and they're silent as they step inside, a common area that's familiar not just because it acts as a mirror replica of their own but thanks to Ida, a fact that he's not too intent on sharing in that instant. The door shuts behind him before trailing into Link's own room and repeating the action, closing them off from the rest of Ogden. He can't help but remark on how odd it is that despite the near year they've been there, despite the single wall separating them, this is the first time he's been here. Much like the fingers that had wrapped around their own, there's something both familiar and foreign about it, an urge for exploration he has to ignore. Instead, he finds the radio, turning it on so that the sounds could fill the space around them before they return to their old friend. He crouches before him, this time both hands reaching to cradle his face, forcing his gaze onto them. "Let it out." Be it tears, rage or a mix of the two. A potentially dangerous request given the state of their relationship but Nova knew how this went, knew the impact of bottling everything and the snap? It was far uglier when it lacked the control he was attempting to offer. "You blow up here and now where they can't see and they're none the wiser."

the music resuming from the last time he had used the radio was a little comforting — the cd that was left in there was a pixies cd, and the song hey starts to play at a low tone. he was a little grateful that he'd turned it on, that way the silence wasn't so daunting and terrifying.

almost breaking down was terrifying enough. though, when he'd crouched down in front of link, the fear was rising — or was that something else that felt like it was crushing his chest and absolutely draining the air out of his lungs ? and then his hand was cradling his face, and that really awful feeling stopped... for just a second, there was nothing, and it felt good to feel nothing for a second.

though, it was more of a calm before the storm.

just like that, the tears couldn't be held back anymore. the child in him wouldn't let him keep his mask on, needing some sort of release. he hated himself right now, for allowing himself to cry like this and in front of nova of all people — but at the end of the day, it was nova. they've seen them cry multiple times before... the question was if it mattered now, in this moment, after everything he put link through. even if link never stopped to think about what they went through, in those years apart.

" — they're going to kick me out of school, nova. this fucking person somehow knows all my shit, " though link has no proof, but if they know about their father, they know everything. " and i'm gonna lose everything again. i'm gonna have nothing. "

[writer-monster]

11 reasons why cap 4 should reintroduce Bucky Barnes as the love interest, an essay

to start this off, i am not writing this essay from a shipping place nor do i believe that this would have any influence at all over the upcoming movie. i expect nothing. this is simply something that i would personally like to see. (of course no hate to anybody who thinks differently)

here are 11 reasons why i think making Bucky into Sam Wilson's love interest in Cap 4 would be a good move for Disney.

-

1. on the Chinese film market - and why it's an irrelevant argument against the inclusion of homosexual themes in Cap 4

the Chinese film market is something that has been blamed for a lack of diversity in Hollywood films a lot lately. many people claim that this market with a lot of buying power has been responsible for the lack of gay and black representation in particular within Hollywood films.

and we have certainly seen Hollywood treating it as such, going so far as to cut gay scenes from movies for their Chinese releases, and vastly minimising John Boyega's (a black actor's) presence in the Chinese poster of Star Wars The Force Awakens.

[image ID: on the left is an image of the American poster for Star Wars The Force Awakens, featuring John Boyega prominently on the right-hand side. And on the right is the Chinese poster for the same movie, in which John Boyega is barely visible.]

so we know at the very least that Disney believes this through their own actions and efforts to self-censor for the different markets.

but Captain America 4 is a black-led movie, don't you forget. and Disney can't minimise Sam Wilson/Anthony Mackie in the movie or the poster because it's his movie and his poster. and no amount of creativity in the editing room can change that (thank God!).

so if by their own argument the film is already going to be either banned, panned or slammed in China... then what do they have to fear from making it a gay movie too?

-

2. oh, the queerbaiting

queerbaiting is an unusual cultural idea. and sometimes i find myself thinking that the term is far too easily used, but then all of a sudden i will stumble upon a movie or show that is so quintessentially cruel and overt in it's... well... queerbaiting that i will start to wonder what the hell kind of a bizarre relationship all these straight people seem to have with their friends. take Troy and Abed from Community or John and Sherlock from Sherlock as the perfect examples of this. (in which my reaction to the show's creators saying the show wasn't gay was to ask so then why did you make it so gay?!)

i felt that Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes in tfatws were getting quite close to this level of queerbaiting.

there was the field scene, the couple's counselling scene, the boat scene, the couple's counselling scene, Bucky going with Sam to face Karli when she told Sam to come alone, the couple's counselling scene, ALL the staring scenes, Sam checking out Bucky's ass here as they said goodbye, the "i would move in with him but" hidden scene, "Uncle Bucky" showing up at the cookout scene, the romantic walking off together into the sunset together ending scene, and the couple's counselling scene. did i forget anything? but i mean seriously, the couple's counselling scene!!! that thing they did with their legs and their crotches while staring deep into each other's eyes, would any straight guy willingly do that? do straight guys crotch-snuggle now?

[image ID: an image of Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes during the therapy scene with the quote, "Isn't anybody going to drag me into impromptu couple's therapy and slot my legs firmly between theirs before staring deeply into my eyes?"]

(yeah i stole this image from a buzzfeed article on the fan reactions to the couple's therapy scene. but given that they stole 80% of the content of that article from fandom tumblr, i think it's pretty even-steven.)

there's also the fact that people started talking about bisexual Bucky Barnes a lot after the tiger pictures line, and the lead writer Malcom Spellman responded to the talk of Bucky's bisexuality with "just keep watching". well we watched, Malcolm. but it's beginning to feel like you were just jerking us around.

-

3. the writing

seriously though, what else is Bucky Barnes doing right now in the MCU? his only remaining connection to anything going on right now is through Sam. there is literally nothing else established that's left for him to do that doesn't involve Sam. he moved to Louisiana to be closer to Sam (canonically), he hangs out with Sam's family (canonically), and Steve is presumably gone and is definitely not coming back for more adventures.

he has no villains or loose ends left. he has no other superheroes that he appears to be in contact with. he has no girlfriend or potential love interest, or even other friends or family. he is living in a tent that he has secretly set up in Sam's backyard and is mysteriously appearing from the bushes when it's time for dinner like a stray cat.

in my opinion there is no other meaningful and pre-established progression for Bucky's character that wouldn't just feel cheap.

plus, i don't think the general audience would be all that surprised if they kissed. i think a LOT of people picked up on all that tension. i think a lot of straight people picked up on all that tension too.

-

4. the chemistry between the actors & the chemistry between the characters

the original pitch for tfatws was essentially just this, it was the chemistry between Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie and their respective MCU characters of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson.

now obviously Anthony and Sebastian are simply friends, and i wouldn't mean to imply anything more. but they are also not their characters.

Sam and Bucky's scenes together before tfatws were both limited and short, and yet audiences still fell in love with the dynamic between the two characters.

in interviews, these two actors are constantly slipping into character and flirting with each other and frankly it's adorable. plus it's really entertaining. i'd love to see that dynamic, unfiltered, in a movie.

because believe it or not the flirting is actually even more open in their interviews than it was in tfatws. and i'm leaving some links as proof.

this here is known as the "married" compilation

and here's a "lucky dip" selection of interviews - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

and here's Anthony trying to get Seb to take his jacket off.

i'm just saying, why not let their chemistry shine? these two are so talented and so entertaining, especially when you put them in a room together. and can you imagine how absolutely hilarious and brilliant it would be to watch them navigate being a couple?

(and for those who bring up the "friends would be uncomfortable pretending to be dating" argument, i'm not here asking for a sex scene or anything. i don't think anyone would expect them to show any more intimacy (physical or emotional) while playing a couple than what they've already shown together in say... tfatws or in their own interviews. not that i actually expect anything regardless.)

-

5. if they were a man and a woman they would've gotten together in tfatws

i have no more to add here. just that... yeah, they would've.

-

6. and i'm not talking about the comics here, i'm talking about the MCU.

i understand fully that none of what i'm saying here falls in line with these characters from the comics. but the mcu itself doesn't fall much in line with the comics either, and these two characters especially are very different from their comics counterparts.

i'm not asking for these two to get together in the comics. tbh i don't think that it would work.

but the mcu Sam and Bucky are different and closer than their comics counterparts. they've got different histories, different backstories, and a very different dynamic. please rest assured that i am only talking about them in the mcu.

-

7. Bucky Barnes is believably bisexual. and Sam Wilson has never been proven to be straight in the mcu, nor has he had a love interest.

(now please continue to keep in mind that these points only stand for the mcu versions of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson, and not at all for their comics counterparts.)

Sam Wilson has never had a love interest, which is crazy because have you seen that man! he has had two blink and you'll miss it moments of verbal expression of attraction to women, both in TWS. and that's the extent of it, through his entire history in the mcu.

Bucky Barnes has had a number of surface-level female love interests, but none of them even came close to the level of connection and chemistry that Bucky shares with Sam.

and i'm sorry SarahBucky fans, but i just don't think there's very much to their relationship either. i love Sarah, i really do. but it's Sam who shares all the meaningful moments and history and chemistry with Bucky. and i don't see what making her into a love interest would do for Sarah's character either, what would that add to her story?

[Picture ID: Bucky at the cookout with Sam, Sarah, Cass and AJ. Bucky and Sam are looking at each other and smiling.]

and also there is the whole tiger pictures thing... again. which does strongly suggest that Bucky is bisexual whether this was intentional on behalf of the writers or not.

-

8. it's representation... AND it feels natural

marvel hasn't had a lot of queer representation that's been noticeably present in the MCU at the time of writing this.

there have been a lot of failures so far, from the bisexual erasure of Valkyrie in Thor Ragnarok to the wlw erasure in Black Panther.

there was queerbaiting almost identical to the bisexual Bucky baiting for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. when asked if he had considered featuring a gay hero in gotg2, director James Gunn stated that "We might have already done that. I say, watch the movie." after the movie's release audiences were understandably confused about the lack of queer representation. To which the director followed up his comments with, "But we don't really know who's gay and who's not. It could be any of them."

there is also Loki, considered by most fans after the airing of his six episode series on Disney+ to be both a poor attempt at both genderfluid representation and bisexual representation. with both attempts being summed up fairly well by the term "blink-and-you'll-miss-it". (also it's just terribly written and Loki doesn't wear any interesting clothes! fanficcers are a Goddamn blessing in this hard time!)

and let us not forget that Andrew Garfield was apparently FIRED for pushing for a bisexual spiderman. a bisexual spiderman within an interracial mlm relationship no less.

so for all these failures, marvel, why not allow us queer fans this? two brilliant and heroic men in a loving interracial relationship. two heroes that we can look up to.

now, one of the biggest detractions from the argument for representation is the idea of "forced diversity". and some poorly written characters certainly do end up feeling forced into the narrative. take Iceman in the comics for example, with Jean Grey just straight up suddenly telling him he's gay. like, marvel, sweetie, that's not how this works! and i don't know a lot of queer people who thought much of that "representation".

but the crux of the "forced diversity" argument is almost always that it feels unnatural within the story, right? and i don't think that anyone could say that about MCU Sam and Bucky ending up together, given these characters' existing chemistry and their history. they've both played characters in gay relationships before so we know that it's not outside of either actor's wheelhouse. and y'all know that Anthony and Seb can act, people. if it's in the script i believe that they'll make it seem like the most natural thing on earth.

-

9. it'd be a nice change

there's been an ongoing meme lately about "Disney's first gay character", the joke being that they continually announce gay characters without really ever including gay characters in their films.

this is to the point where Disney has formed a reputation amongst queer audiences of being homophobic.

if Sam and Bucky were to become a couple, then Disney could have its first actual gay character within a gay relationship. AND have him be in the lead of his own movie, no less.

it's also worth keeping in mind that there's likely an overlap between the people who were outraged by a Sam Wilson Captain America, and the people who'd be outraged by a gay Captain America. and if they were already not seeing the film, then i don't think much is gonna change that.

queer audiences would definitely love it, and the media attention would be guaranteed to be huge. i mean, simply look at the amount of media attention mere rumours of a character's queerness gets you and multiply that by a canon confirmation of said rumours.

but i'm pretty sure that Disney already knows this.

-

10. and yet, in truth, it's not about the representation

in truth i've never felt that i had any trouble relating to characters of any sexual orientation, race, gender, sex, body type, etc. (although that is not to throw any shade at all on people who do wish to see themselves represented) but for me, i think it's more about the story than the packaging.

and yet, a love story is still just a story. straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial. when two characters have chemistry and history and have sacrificed for each other time and time again, and they also can't keep their hands or their eyes off each other, then i'm pretty sure that that's a love story.

straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial, it shouldn't be about these simple labels. it should be about how well written the relationship is. it should be about chemistry, and history, and sacrifice.

because i'm fucking sick of all the hollow, forced romances in media no matter the genders of the participants. i'm sick of lazily written, shallow relationships where any two people sharing the same space for any extended period of time will simply fall in love. it's boring, it's repetitive, and as a writer myself it drives me up the wall!

romance stories suck! and everyone knows that romance stories suck. between twilight, and most of the entire YA genre, and love triangles (so boring), and romance used as poorly-written throwaway subplots in Hollywood movies, the world is in agreement that the romance in western media is simply dreadful. and yet we still want love stories. it's an entire genre that sits at the heart of the human experience (<3), and yet one which so few of today's best known writers seem truly able to capture.

i don't think that i'm the only one who feels this way, either. i suspect it's actually a large part of why fandom is so romance-centred in the first place, that we're all just starving for a good love story.

(btw i think fandom has a reputation for being something that as a whole that it is not. it has this reputation for straight up demanding things and harassing people until they get their way. while unfortunately there are a few people who do this, they're fucking annoying and i swear that they're far from the majority.

in my experience fandom is mostly about writing a five thousand word story at three am while drunk off your ass because it might make someone whom you've never met smile, editing it in the cold light of day, and then posting it. expecting nothing. sometimes getting nothing. and sometimes getting someone send you kudos or a comment so heartbreakingly wonderful that it makes you smile in return.)

-

11. so once again, it is all about the writing.

i want to see Sam and Bucky get together in the mcu, not because they would be a gay couple but because i genuinely believe that their story has potential to be an amazing love story.

and i know the mcu isn't about the romance. it's why in my personal opinion we haven't gotten a lot of good canon romances besides Peter Quill and Gamora. and i don't think that the mcu should be all about the romance either. i fucking love the action and the fighting scenes. i love the comedy. Captain America: The Winter Soldier had no romance and it was a fucking treasure, it was an amazing spy-action-thriller and it made my little gay heart dance. Thor Ragnarok had no romance, and it was an utterly brilliant comedic spectacle action film. not every movie needs romance.

but mcu Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes were doing couple's therapy and fixing a boat and walking off into the sunset together in tfatws. they were inseparable on the battlefield. they've got a dynamic. it's beautiful, it's romantic, and it's gold.

a budding relationship between them in the next movie would be a good way to explore both characters more without the narrative feeling too stilted and separate. at the end of tfatws, both Sam and Bucky fans found that their respective fave felt somewhat underutilised and that their characters were underexplored.

now, that problem would be even more difficult to remedy in a movie, because the plotline of a movie needs to be really tight to work (giggity). and we know that the central conflict of the movie is gonna be action-based (which is good), but we still need each character's personal journey and growth to tie into the main conflict. (which is another issue that some fans found with tfatws, that these characters didn't really feel connected to the action-based plot on a more personal level.)

if Sam and Bucky are already in a relationship, however, this whole dynamic changes. first, their relationship has already been set up for nicely since TWS and through tfatws and they would officially be the best-fleshed-out couple in the mcu. but most importantly, a relationship gives them a perfect vehicle to explore both of their pasts comparatively and connect them personally to the action-based plot.

do you want to establish that Sam is a little too trusting and naïve? then establish this through his relationship with Bucky, and through showing his placing his trust in Bucky. (rather than through having him sympathise with a villain who threatened to murder his sister and his nephews).

perhaps you want to show Bucky recovering from his trauma? show us how comfortable he is with Sam. they get along, they're enjoying each other's presence, we see more of Sam's life and of his family, and then let Bucky tell Sam something that's raw and dark and honest about his life as The Winter Soldier. something about a memory, one that he only just recalled. he's opening up. and maybe what he tells Sam is even something that sets up the future action-based conflict, to ground that in something real.

you want to explore that Sam has trauma too? do this through Bucky. he tells Bucky a story about his time in the military. in the form of a flashback, he shares his own story of loss to evoke before the audience the shared theme of feeling at fault even when you're simply a helpless bystander to an act of pure destruction.

then, action sequence! and it's directly connected to Bucky's time as the Winter Soldier. explore the grief of someone whose life the Winter Soldier tore apart manifesting into a villain perpetuating the cycle of pain. establish your villain.

Later, Sam is dragged into battle against this villain for protecting Bucky. But Bucky doesn't want Sam to protect him. He feels guilt for what he can't control and he doesn't want Sam getting hurt because of him. Bucky reminds Sam that he has a family, one who needs him and who loves him. He tells him to go home.

Sam reminds Bucky that he's a part of that family. And that sure Sam's a hero and his job is to protect anyone and everyone, but that he's doing it because he wants to. It's not simply to prove that he can, or to prove that he's not a bystander (this connects to Sam's trauma here), but that he's doing it to help people.

and this gets Bucky thinking about who he is and what he's doing here. is he a hero who stands by Sam's side? or is he an ordinary man who stands aside? or perhaps, does he stand alone? what does he stand for? Maybe Sam knows. But does Bucky?

Sam and Bucky fight off the villain again, and for the first time Bucky meets this adversary face to face. And Bucky recognises this villain, and has a flashback to the genuine pain that he inflicted upon them in the form of the Winter Soldier. Bucky freezes mid-fight, he almost dies, and Sam has to save him.

Sam chews Bucky out for almost getting killed because he was afraid for him. but Bucky takes this the wrong way and goes off to fight the villain alone, or perhaps to die alone, he's not quite sure.

He puts up a half-hearted fight. He apologises for what the Winter Soldier has done, and he waits for the killing blow, when Sam swoops down and he saves him. He asks Sam why he saved him and Sam calls him a moron. And then, Sam asks him what sacrificing himself would solve. He tells him that you can't choose your past but you can choose your future (connecting to his own experience of loss and guilt and grief). And that no matter what Bucky Barnes still has a future, whether that's as the Winter Soldier or the White Wolf or just some dork with a day job. And that he has a future as a part of Sam's family too.

Sam fights the villain, and it's toe to toe. He delivers a few good blows, but receives a fair few himself. And then the villain tears off his wings, first one and then the other, in a manner reminiscent of what the Winter Soldier did to him in TWS. Through Bucky's eyes there's a flashback to highlight the parallels. Sam gets back on his feet and he fights his best fight, but is now losing.

And then the heavily injured Bucky steps up and fights by Sam's side, and only together do they take down the villain.

"So... I inspired you, huh?" Sam teases with a smile, utterly exhausted. "With my heroism and-"

"You inspired me." Bucky said, equally exhausted. "Let's leave it at that."

Together, Sam and Bucky go back to the safety and warmth of their family. Sam fixes his wings. Sam goes back to being Captain America. And Bucky... he's around, but it's unclear what he's doing.

That is, until the very end. When Sam is in a fight, and suddenly Bucky shows up and helps him out.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asks.

"I've made up my mind." Bucky says. "I'm the Winter Soldier. But now I'll save lives, Sam. Now, like you, I'll be a hero."

Sam smirks. "So does this make you my sidekick, then?"

Bucky smiles. "C'mon, at least make me a partner." He says.

"How about co-workers." Sam says (in flashback, he remembers back to the death of his last on-the-job partner).

"How about friends." Bucky says, with a wry look.

"Bucky... I don't want to see you put your dumbass self in danger." Sam says.

"Oh, and it's ok for you to go running off into danger on your own all the time?" Bucky asks.

"Yes." Sam says stubbornly. "Absolutely it is."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not a dumbass?!"

"Sam, if you think I'm not gonna be watching your back for the rest of time... then you're the biggest dumbass I know. And I don't care if you need me or not, I will be there for you."

"Because Sam, you're more than Captain America. You're more than a good soldier. You're a good man. And I think sometimes, the world forgets what the difference is."

-

...or something like that.

(i only spent like 15 minutes on that. you know if i were actually writing this movie i would come up with something much better. and if anyone from marvel is seeing this, yes i can come work for you. i will make the time, let's do this thing right!)

-

finale

at the end of the day, whether or not the mcu chooses to make Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes a couple, it's their decision. and they don't owe me anything.

i'm just some random person on the internet. who thinks that Captain America 4 should #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend

[ftstorm]

My take on 5x10

Welp, that was a big one!

You know, before going into this episode I reminded myself this was the first episode of a new era, the first episode completely made by the new team.

So with that in mind my expectations were "Okay, let's see what they've got."

And oh boy did they surprise me.

DISCLAIMER: this text post is long af, not kidding.

1. THE INTRO SCENE.

You guys have no idea how glad I am that we got Mac doing a usual MacGyvering in his house. It's been ages since they implemented this format of showing his dynamics outside Phoenix and around his house.

I wasn't worried about the proposal thing at all. Guys, you have to accept that MacRiley was always going to happen after that 4x04 episode.

There was also the fact that this was the intro scene (usually the most important plot issues happen in the outro scene), Bozer's weird reaction and the melancholic audio cue.

If that proposal was happening, they would've made it more uplifting.

(I gotta say that watching Monica Marcer and the official MacGyver account making damage control in Twitter 3mins into the episode was a funny experience)

So my initial questions about Mac wanting to propose were: "what are his motivations?" and "how is this not going to work out by the end of the episode?"

The second question we got the answer later on. The first question remains unanswered. If we take on Mac's words, he says:

Mac: Unexpected, I know, I know. But that's why I like about it. You know ever since I lost my dad and Jack I've been thinking about the bigger picture. A commitment to make things work it's exactly what Desi and I need. A grand romantic gesture. *cue melancholic music*

Here we're presented with a bunch of things worth analysing, in my opinion.

He's trying to see the "bigger picture" which, for me, it means he's trying to tackle down different issues from his life with one specific, efficient action [the proposal]. Those issues being:

> his current romantic relationship: make is aware they have an inconsistent relationship > his performance at work: he needs balance between his personal affairs and his work, which is based on saving the world in a daily basis and for that he needs to be focused. > dealing with his past losses: to my understanding, saying "ever isn I lost my dad and Jac I've been thinking about the bigger picture" means that he doesn't want hopelessness to take over him, he wants to keep on moving and being proactive about his life.

So... you have to understand that in some sort of way, this proposal thing is a signal that Mac is healing. In some sort of way, if you were in Mac's shoes you would see that it was a positive thing for him. A step forward.

The thing is, we [the audience] have an extended understanding of the situation and we know that an engagement would be an incredibly rushed decision.

As well as it is that Mac's trying to move forward, he obviously hasn't been able to pinpoint the true issue behind his relationship with Desi. He isn't wrong about them lacking in the commitment department, but forcing the relationship to scalate isn't the right move. He should be asking himself: "Why are we avoiding commitment?"

And that's when he'd find out that they have very deep and important trust and communication issues.

~~~~

2. Moving on. MURDOC.

Russ: I can process it more efficiently by having it all spread out ahead me, you know. I reckon see the bigger picture at once.

This is when I realized that the episode was centered on this whole "bigger picture" idea. Russ struggles to see the full picture until the very end and Mac finds out that he hasn't been seeing the full picture of his life at all by the end of the episode.

Fast forward, the team's in Mexico, Riley knows about the ring already and she has already had the talk with Bozer in which she refers to her feelings for Mac in a past tense.

Then Murdoc appears.

And as if the episode wasn't already a rollercoaster after Mac's reveal, now Murdoc shows up to put everything upside down.

First I gotta say, man Dastmalchian is SUCH A GOOD MURDOC. Excellent actor. The way he delivers his lines, his facial expressions, all of it make an original and very entertaining Murdoc.

He always gives me such a Andrew Scott's Moriarty vibes and I love it.

Secondly, his dynamic with Andrews: *cheff kiss*

I loved how Andrews was so over Murdoc's theatrics, to the point his facial expression screamed "Why did I even reclute this guy" LOL.

Back to the story.

This is something I was hoping it wouldn't happen but at the same time I don't see another way it could've happened which is the explanation behind Murdoc's escape and how Phoenix didn't know about it.

Because what they told us is that the FBI didn't let them in on Murdoc's escape, right? Does that imply that the FBI has a corrupt agent in charge? Does it imply that the order of not letting Phoenix in came from above? Maybe someone with higher clearence than Matty? A politician? Governement conspiracy?

It smells like plot hole, tbh. I feel like the Murdoc's escape is a classic "it is what it is". We'll see if they come back to this in later episodes.

~~~~

3. BIG SECRET REVEAL 1.

By now we're at the point of the rollercoaster where you're going up and up and up. Your tension building more and more as you're getting close to the drop.

Bozer and Riley's audio was the drop.

You know, during this scene I jumped from my seat, closed my eyes, cringed, squealed, my heart accelarated, forgot how to breathe...

As a person who is a little bit bipolar when it comes to romance (I can be very shy about it or very outspoken about it) that scene made me SO UNCOMFORTABLE.

Imagine having your feelings exposed not only to the person you have feelings for but also his girlfriend who happens to be your friend, your boss and the criminal that's threatening to kill hundreds of people.

I was like: "Not like this!!"

And Mac's reaction didn't help because of the lack of it. I don't know what I expected but his slightly monotone reaction broke my heart.

Thankfully, I've recovered since then and I don't mind that it happened that way.

Still, imagine how suffocating it must've been for Riley. That idea was what made me so uncomfortable and I think that's what they were going for. They wanted to make it as straightforward and awkward as possible.

But it doesn't end there. It's followed by Mac revealing the ring to Desi (and Riley). Mac's in "fuck it" mood and Desi kinda panics.

Little side note here, using GUM and a DIAMOND to break a bullet proof glass... BIG YES. That's an intrinsic MacGyverism.

~~~~

4. BIG SECRET REVEAL 2.

Then we get a breather from this drama by introducing another drama, Leanna's death.

Bozer's reaction to the news was heartbreaking for my already heartbroken heart.

I have my suspicions as to why they decided to kill her... The other episode completely made by the new team was the Quarantine one (5x06). During that episode Mac and Bozer bond over Bozer's pain. After learning about Bozer's mom, Mac chooses to share a piece of his own pain with him.

So, hear me out, I think they writers are planning to help Mac process his own grief THROUGH Bozer's grief. Keep in mind that we still have a Bozer centered episode coming up.

This is just a theory. I may be wrong, but I think it may be right too.

Back to the episode.

Once again we see a three dimensional Russ. He does something accordingly to his own judgement thinking it's the right decision [hiding Leanna's death], he realizes he screwed up, he gives Bozer a very heartfelt apology about it.

Henry's acting talent shone with this narrative. Actually, most of the actors had the chance to shine THANKS to the NARRATIVE. Murdoc, Andrews, Desi, Mac, Russ and Bozer... they all had their highlight moments (I'll talk about Riley later).

Parenthesis here... THE NARRATIVE HAS RETURNED THEIR SOULS TO OUR DEAR CHARACTERS!

WOW, they aren't brooding, angry, sad or whiny ALL THE EFFIN TIME. ABOUT TIME!

~~~~

5. LAST ACT.

For the third or fouth time in this episode my heart broke again when Mac was friendly towards Riley, after she explained herself. It really felt like he was friendzoning her.

But here's something to point out. Riley visibly relaxed when he reacted that way. What does that tell us?

> She had been so tense up until that point. Imo, she's on the defensive now. You can even see it in her wardrobe, make up and hairstyle choices. They're very contrasting to Riley's most vulnerable moments in this show (like when Audrey broke up with her).

Riley has had a year to sort out her feelings. We see in this episode that she spoke about them in a past tense. Whether she achieved it or not is unknown. We just know that she has at least tried to move on.

> She was mostly afraid of ruining her close relationship with Mac (who's her only family, along with Bozer) and her friendship (?) with Desi. We've seen it over and over again: Riley DID NOT WANT to get in the middle of them.

Keep that in mind as we go in the last scene.

It took me a while to figure out a possible thread of thought inside Mac's mind. Why did he look at the ring and decided to go to Riley's house? It really didn't make sense to me.

One moment he was thinking about his proposal and somehow that lead to him having the necessity to know if Riley still had feelings for him? Why??

My theory is that he went to her apartment for permission.

His question was a way of asking Riley for permission to propose to Desi. It was a way of reassuring himself that proposing was still the right decision.

In a way, he could also be fishing for an excuse to not do it [the proposal].

Because now he has doubts. He's confused, unsure.

Mac asks:

Mac: Hiding your emotions and letting it pass. Did it go away?

What could her answer have been? Here I wanna go back again to Riley being emotionally defensive, added her strong desire of not wanting to be in the middle of Mac and Desi's relationship.

I think she would've said "Yes, it worked."

Because it also lines up with my idea that the love triangle has changed from "Riley's a better match for Mac" to "Mac needs to win Riley's heart".

Riley's done her job. She worked out her feelings. Now it's time for Mac to sort out his humongously messed up internal self and reignite her spark. That's what I think.

Also, if anyone has any idea on how the song that played in that scene relates with the moment please share it with me because I don't really understand the song choice lol.

~~~~

6. ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

Desi. I'm not sure what's going on in her mind. She seemed stressed out by the ring, very serious about Riley, lenient with Mac... I'm really not sure.

My guess would be that she doesn't want that type of commitment but she wants to be with Mac yet she can't ignore Riley so does that mean she has to end it with Mac? That's the thought process she may have had? Idk...

I'm glad they let her be mature about it, with no overreactions, no whining, no blaming, nothing of that style that we're used to see in her.

I'm also glad about that moment when she defeats Murdoc and Andrews. THAT'S HOW YOU WRITE A TOUGH DESI. It was filmed with such a gracefulness and elegance. I liked it.

From a MacDesi point of view, she's probably being open minded and giving him space and waiting for him to come back to her... but somehow I got the vibe that she's actually... running away?

Lastly but no less important.

THE HISPANIC REPRESANTION OMG. RUSS SPEAKING SPANISH AND THAT CUMBIA MUSIC FILLED MY HEART WITH SO MUCH PRIDE!!! :')

[angrykittykrys]

DnD masterpost of our first campaign quotes

NPC: How is Gundren?

Nick/Amadeus: He is *very* kidnapped right now.

***

Katie/Thalen: Do you really want to change a goblin's diaper?

***

DM as Goblin: How did you know my name was Gus?!

***

Nick/Amadeus: I'm not being loud about what I'm doing.

Katie/Thalen: You have a goblin strapped to your back...

***

NPC: Have you gotten into trouble with the Redbrands?

Nick/Amadeus: They've gotten in trouble with us.

***

(Truth Check)

DM: ...You rolled a one. You're not even sure he's there.

***

DM: You have a goblin on a leash now.

***

Krys/Khandalee: Has the wizard not realized Glass Staff is a person and *not* a staff?

DM: He has a staff.

Nick/Amadeus: What's it made of?

DM:...Glass.

***

DM: Barthon steps out of a corner. "Aye, I know Barthon."

***

Nick/Amadeus: I think really loudly "Mr. Eyeball, are you here?"

***

Nick/Amadeus: So, Aldrin...

Jon/Adrin: Adrin! It's Adrin! I've been travelling with you for days!!!

***

DM: The Redbrand steps over a puddle of what was formerly his friend...

***

NPC: (Redbrand) My drunkenness is giving me powers! I'm invincible! (trips going the wrong direction)

***

Nick/Amadeus: Am I proficient in that?

DM: Well, it's a javelin with a head on it... so no.

Nick/Amadeus: ...

Nick/Amadeus: I yell head's up!

***

Nick/Amadeus: I wanted to kill the Goblin King and install Gus!

Katie/Thalen: Gus has shown no inclination toward that.

Nick/Amadeus: This isn't about what Gus wants!

***

Jon/Adrin: Ah, it's a potion of invisibility!

Katie/Thalen: Oh! Sick!

Jon/Adrin: No, no. It won't make you sick.

***

Nick/Amadeus: I like you, but I've murdered people I like.

***

NPC: You get your friend when you bring me Clarg's head!

Krys/Khandalee: We're good at that!

***

DM: In the pouch are three gold teeth.

Nick/Amadeus: Are any the pointy ones?

DM: No, it's the molars.

Nick/Amadeus: (sagely) It's good to know.

***

Nick/Amadeus: I'm sorry we broke into your house.

Krys/Khandalee: I'm not.

***

Krys/Khandalee: We're here because we were told there was treasure.

Nick/Amadeus: *She's* here because she was told there was treasure.

***

Nick/Amadeus: You seem awfully young to be part of a cult.

***

Nick/Amadeus: I got six other guys. I got six meat shields! (about going up against a dragon)

***

Dragon Cult NPC: We brought you this dwarf as tribute!

Nick/Amadeus: (thinking quickly)...So, you said I was the bait. Is this the part where you guys jump him?

***

DM: The name is Coniberi.

Nick/Amadeus: That sounds sexy!

***

Nick/Amadeus: I check the birds for traps.

***

Nick/Amadeus: As a bonus action, I cry.

***

Katie/Thalen: We need proof we killed all these orc to get the reward, but we burnt them to a crisp...

Krys/Khandalee: Oh! The Popsicle orc! Let's cut his head off!

***

Jon/Adrin: I know that dwarves are barrel chested...

Katie/Thalen: But they aren't treasure bellied!

***

Krys/Khandalee: We should set fire to the tent! It'll bring all the boys to the yard!

***

Nick/Amadeus: You did hit me... (heals self) but now you didn't!

***

(After slitting tent open and coming face to face with occupant)

Nick/Amadeus: ...Have you seen my cat?

***

Krys/Khandalee: I won't die from this poison! I'm too cute!

***

DM: Blunt weapons can't take off a head.

Nick/Amadeus: Well a crushed windpipe can't breathe!

***

(Bursts into room filled with enemies)

Nick/Amadeus: Where's the bathroom?

***

DM: Why bother opening a door with your hands when you can do it with your mind?

***

DM: The narrator yawns...

***

(After a fight with hobgoblins)

Katie/Thalen: These are not as hard to kill as I thought!

***

(Natural 20 Perception Roll)

DM: You can hear two distinct voices.

Nick/Amadeus: How tall are they?

DM:...

Nick/Amadeus:...

DM: You can't hear how tall they are.

***

Jon/Adrin: I don't know how to non fatally shoot fire at someone!

Nick/Amadeus: Once she's unconscious stop firing at her!

***

(After Krys/Khandalee has tortured the villain and cut off their limbs so they can't use magic anymore and aren't a threat)

Jon/Adrin: Well, he's unarmed, so we can just let him face justice!

[nemesis-nexus]

***ALL GAVE SOME, SOME GAVE ALL!***

Veteran's Day Sermon

Hail Enki Great Dragon and God of the Sweet Water, HEAR US! On this day we honor those who put their well-being aside and voluntarily risked it all to fight on behalf of millions of people they don't know and will never meet!

The kind of sacrifice that is made by our soldiers is not anything to ever take lightly; they not only put their own lives at risk, they also leave their families behind to worry about them for the duration of their tour. This not only deserves acknowledgement, it deserves the respect of EVERY SINGLE PERSON regardless of whether they "agree with the war" or not!

When a soldier enlists, no matter which branch of the military they join, they are saying "tonight you can sleep easy, no one is going to hurt you if I have anything to say about it!" They say this not only to their own families and friends, they say it to the person working the checkout at the supermarket, the school teacher trying educate the children, the pump jocky's and grease monkey's keeping people on the road, but that's not all... They are also saying to those protesting the war that even they will live to see another day because our soldiers are willing to fight, and die, for their right to protest. That kind of dedication is rare especially when people act not only ungrateful but resentful towards those who are willing to put themselves in harms way so that they don't have to!

Father please watch over our troops wherever they are stationed, be it at home or abroad, help them to keep it together despite how much strain they may be under so that they are able to maintain order in their spirits as well as within the ranks! Help them to stay alert and aware of their surroundings so that nothing goes unnoticed! Help them maintain a high morale so they don't lose themselves to the rigors of the combat zone! Help them to keep marching forward until such time as they come marching home!

Enki, you who put your own neck on the line to come to our defense when the Grand Council rendered its decision, please also help the families of enlisted soldiers to come to terms with the decision that their loved ones have made! It is not selfish for any family or friend to become upset at the idea that their loved one will be shipped off to a war zone, however, they need to respect the choice that was made! Help those who have family and friends actively deployed to maintain a sense of hope and courage, especially those with young children, so that they can in turn give their deployed loved ones a boost when they it!

They say that war is hell and they're right it is, not only are you subject to horrific events and sites on a daily basis but you also come face to face with their own mortality. Those who survive the conflict oftentimes return home to hostility from those that they selflessly protected because those people did not support the war. They also come home to find that their benefits and income are non-existent, many find themselves on the street and even more find themselves waiting for months and sometimes years just to see a doctor. One absolutely unacceptable and unforgivable reality is that our government treats are returning soldiers as though they are expendable and would have been better off had they been killed overseas! The proof of this is in the fact that several VA hospitals are dilapidated and infested and also that several returning soldiers died just waiting to be seen at all!

No one who willingly put their own life on the line to protect an entire nation from the devastation of war on its own soil deserves to be treated like a discardable pawn on a chessboard! No one who voluntarily travels to foreign lands with the intention of helping the citizens of those countries learn to defend themselves against their enemies deserves to be ignored by the government that sent them there! No one who sacrifices everything including their own peace of mind deserves to end up on the streets reliving the nightmares in their heads because they are not given the psychiatric attention they need to be able to deal with what they've been through!

Father we know that because we were given free will to do whatever we want that we can't expect you to intervene on any one sides behalf, if people want to start these wars then people need to fight these wars and also figure out how to deal with the aftermath of these wars. You are not responsible for the decisions or the actions of the human race, both are entirely at our discretion and as such both are nobody's responsibility but our own!

The one thing that we have going for us as a race is that when push comes to shove that many of us will band together even if we had issues with each other in the past! We do this because humans are social creatures even if we are not always social towards each other, we do it as a matter of survival not only for ourselves but for those we care about as well! There are those who allow their petty differences to prevent them from aiding those that need it, they are the ones who are soldiers fight and die for so that they can be that selfish and cruel! Thankfully these self-centered dolts are few and far between so they have a tendency to be the loudest group because they're so full of their own shit that everybody else just has to hear about it! When they start getting noisy the rest of us just need to be noisier, let them know that even if we don't agree with the war that we still have to support our troops because they did take it upon themselves to enlist so the self-righteous jackasses didn't have to!

So the next time you see someone on the street with a sign that says that they are a veteran, don't just throw a couple bucks at them and wish them the best, instead try to help them to become gainfully employed or even find volunteer opportunities! Many of our veterans want to work, most of them do not want to be on public assistance, there is something to be said about maintaining a level of dignity! One of the most frustrating things for all of our veterans is trying to live with the war that is still raging in their heads!

PTSD is a very real and very debilitating psychological condition that oftentimes impedes our veterans from being able to fully return to civilian life because with the more severe cases it does not take much to trigger it: for example the slamming of a car door can cause them to duck for and fireworks on the 4th of July brings back memories of being constant hail of bullets which is why many veterans cannot attend fireworks displays because it is too traumatizing for them! These are only two examples of the kinds of issues our veterans deal with on a day to day basis and it's compounded when our government does not afford them access to any kind of medical attention! Our veterans deserve better than this!

Father we know that you are always with them from the day that they enlist until the day that their deployment ends to guide and watch over them; we ask that when it comes time for them to march off into the sunset, no matter whether it is on the battlefield or after they return stateside, that you spread your wings and give them the hero's welcome home! Where we may fail in the human world when it comes to taking care of our soldiers, please rise to the occasion as you always do and let them once again know the peace and tranquility that was stolen from them during their deployment! AVÉ NINGIZHEDA!

"Warrior's Code

I will gather my strength and I will gather my will, to face the enemy in any battle!

I will not run and I will not hide, I will march with my unit side by side!

I will keep in my heart my friends and family, their support helps me through this bloody calamity!

As I sit under the sky appreciating the sound of silence, I know all too well it may suddenly erupt in violence!

I count the stars and my mind starts to drift, recalling family and friends life's most precious gift!

I do what I do not for fortune or fame, but so that the lives of others will remain the same!

To keep my countrymen free from pain, anguish and despair is the reason I chose to be here!

I put on the Kevlar then pick up my gun and I wonder if tomorrow will be the last time I see the sun!

I am grateful for my sisters and brothers in arms, we have each others six and we defend one another from harm!

A promise was made to defend our country from all enemies domestic and foreign and that promise will be kept no matter how severe the situation we are in!

In our bases, on our tanks and on our shoulders that flag will always wave symbolizing the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Though we may be far from our friends and family, we know in our hearts we are one even though we are many!

One day is not enough to acknowledge those who fought and continue to fight for our freedom, remember to always show respect and thank a Vet every time you see them!"

ZI ANA KANPA! ZI KIA KANPA!

MAY THE DEAD RISE AND SMELL THE INCENSE!

Etiamsi MULTA Et Nos UNUM Sumus Nos Sto Validus Ut Nos Sto Una!

Semper Veritas, Semper Fideles, In NINGIZHEDA Nomen Nos Fides! AVE NINGIZHEDA!

(We Are ONE Even Though We Are MANY And We Stand STRONGEST When We Stand TOGETHER!

Always TRUTHFUL, Always FAITHFUL, In NINGIZHEDA'S Name We Trust! HAIL NINGIZHEDA!)

AVÉ URURU! AVÉ ENKI/EA!

AVÉ NINGIZHEDA! AVÉ NINHURSAG!

AVÉ ININNI! AVÉ DIMUZI!

AVÉ IGGIGI! AVÉ ANUNNA!

AVÉ DRACONIS! HAIL THE GREAT SERPENT!

HPS Meg "Nemesis Nexus" Prentiss

[nemesis-nexus]

***ALL GAVE SOME, SOME GAVE ALL!***

Veteran's Day Sermon

Hail Enki Great Dragon and God of the Seeet Water, HEAR US! On this day we honor those who put their well-being aside and voluntarily risked it all to fight on behalf of millions of people they don't know and will never meet!

The kind of sacrifice that is made by our soldiers is not anything to ever take lightly; they not only put their own lives at risk, they also leave their families behind to worry about them for the duration of their tour. This not only deserves acknowledgement, it deserves the respect of EVERY SINGLE PERSON regardless of whether they "agree with the war" or not!

When a soldier enlists, no matter which branch of the military they join, they are saying "tonight you can sleep easy, no one is going to hurt you if I have anything to say about it!" They say this not only to their own families and friends, they say it to the person working the checkout at the supermarket, the school teacher trying educate the children, the pump jocky's and grease monkey's keeping people on the road, but that's not all... They are also saying to those protesting the war that even they will live to see another day because our soldiers are willing to fight, and die, for their right to protest. That kind of dedication is rare especially when people act not only ungrateful but resentful towards those who are willing to put themselves in harms way so that they don't have to!

Father please watch over our troops wherever they are stationed, be it at home or abroad, help them to keep it together despite how much strain they may be under so that they are able to maintain order in their spirits as well as within the ranks! Help them to stay alert and aware of their surroundings so that nothing goes unnoticed! Help them maintain a high morale so they don't lose themselves to the rigors of the combat zone! Help them to keep marching forward until such time as they come marching home!

Enki, you who put your own neck on the line to come to our defense when the Grand Council rendered its decision, please also help the families of enlisted soldiers to come to terms with the decision that their loved ones have made! It is not selfish for any family or friend to become upset at the idea that their loved one will be shipped off to a war zone, however, they need to respect the choice that was made! Help those who have family and friends actively deployed to maintain a sense of hope and courage, especially those with young children, so that they can in turn give their deployed loved ones a boost when they it!

They say that war is hell and they're right it is, not only are you subject to horrific events and sites on a daily basis but you also come face to face with their own mortality. Those who survive the conflict oftentimes return home to hostility from those that they selflessly protected because those people did not support the war. They also come home to find that their benefits and income are non-existent, many find themselves on the street and even more find themselves waiting for months and sometimes years just to see a doctor. One absolutely unacceptable and unforgivable reality is that our government treats are returning soldiers as though they are expendable and would have been better off had they been killed overseas! The proof of this is in the fact that several VA hospitals are dilapidated and infested and also that several returning soldiers died just waiting to be seen at all!

No one who willingly put their own life on the line to protect an entire nation from the devastation of war on its own soil deserves to be treated like a discardable pawn on a chessboard! No one who voluntarily travels to foreign lands with the intention of helping the citizens of those countries learn to defend themselves against their enemies deserves to be ignored by the government that sent them there! No one who sacrifices everything including their own peace of mind deserves to end up on the streets reliving the nightmares in their heads because they are not given the psychiatric attention they need to be able to deal with what they've been through!

Father we know that because we were given free will to do whatever we want that we can't expect you to intervene on any one sides behalf, if people want to start these wars then people need to fight these wars and also figure out how to deal with the aftermath of these wars. You are not responsible for the decisions or the actions of the human race, both are entirely at our discretion and as such both are nobody's responsibility but our own!

The one thing that we have going for us as a race is that when push comes to shove that many of us will band together even if we had issues with each other in the past! We do this because humans are social creatures even if we are not always social towards each other, we do it as a matter of survival not only for ourselves but for those we care about as well! There are those who allow their petty differences to prevent them from aiding those that need it, they are the ones who are soldiers fight and die for so that they can be that selfish and cruel! Thankfully these self-centered dolts are few and far between so they have a tendency to be the loudest group because they're so full of their own shit that everybody else just has to hear about it! When they start getting noisy the rest of us just need to be noisier, let them know that even if we don't agree with the war that we still have to support our troops because they did take it upon themselves to enlist so the self-righteous jackasses didn't have to!

So the next time you see someone on the street with a sign that says that they are a veteran, don't just throw a couple bucks at them and wish them the best, instead try to help them to become gainfully employed or even find volunteer opportunities! Many of our veterans want to work, most of them do not want to be on public assistance, there is something to be said about maintaining a level of dignity! One of the most frustrating things for all of our veterans is trying to live with the war that is still raging in their heads!

PTSD is a very real and very debilitating psychological condition that oftentimes impedes our veterans from being able to fully return to civilian life because with the more severe cases it does not take much to trigger it: for example the slamming of a car door can cause them to duck for and fireworks on the 4th of July brings back memories of being constant hail of bullets which is why many veterans cannot attend fireworks displays because it is too traumatizing for them! These are only two examples of the kinds of issues our veterans deal with on a day to day basis and it's compounded when our government does not afford them access to any kind of medical attention! Our veterans deserve better than this!

Father we know that you are always with them from the day that they enlist until the day that their deployment ends to guide and watch over them; we ask that when it comes time for them to march off into the sunset, no matter whether it is on the battlefield or after they return stateside, that you spread your wings and give them the hero's welcome home! Where we may fail in the human world when it comes to taking care of our soldiers, please rise to the occasion as you always do and let them once again know the peace and tranquility that was stolen from them during their deployment! AVÉ NINGIZHEDA!

"Warrior's Code

I will gather my strength and I will gather my will, to face the enemy in any battle!

I will not run and I will not hide, I will march with my unit side by side!

I will keep in my heart my friends and family, their support helps me through this bloody calamity!

As I sit under the sky appreciating the sound of silence, I know all too well it may suddenly erupt in violence!

I count the stars and my mind starts to drift, recalling family and friends life's most precious gift!

I do what I do not for fortune or fame, but so that the lives of others will remain the same!

To keep my countrymen free from pain, anguish and despair is the reason I chose to be here!

I put on the Kevlar then pick up my gun and I wonder if tomorrow will be the last time I see the sun!

I am grateful for my sisters and brothers in arms, we have each others six and we defend one another from harm!

A promise was made to defend our country from all enemies domestic and foreign and that promise will be kept no matter how severe the situation we are in!

In our bases, on our tanks and on our shoulders that flag will always wave symbolizing the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Though we may be far from our friends and family, we know in our hearts we are one even though we are many!

One day is not enough to acknowledge those who fought and continue to fight for our freedom, remember to always show respect and thank a Vet every time you see them!"

ZI ANA KANPA! ZI KIA KANPA!

MAY THE DEAD RISE AND SMELL THE INCENSE!

Etiamsi MULTA Et Nos UNUM Sumus Nos Sto Validus Ut Nos Sto Una!

Semper Veritas, Semper Fideles, In NINGIZHEDA Nomen Nos Fides! AVE NINGIZHEDA!

(We Are ONE Even Though We Are MANY And We Stand STRONGEST When We Stand TOGETHER!

Always TRUTHFUL, Always FAITHFUL, In NINGIZHEDA'S Name We Trust! HAIL NINGIZHEDA!)

AVÉ URURU! AVÉ ENKI/EA!

AVÉ NINGIZHEDA! AVÉ NINHURSAG!

AVÉ ININNI! AVÉ DIMUZI!

AVÉ IGGIGI! AVÉ ANUNNA!

AVÉ DRACONIS! HAIL THE GREAT SERPENT!

HPS Meg "Nemesis Nexus" Prentiss