#my friend thinks she won't put in any effort to understand me anyways so it's probably for the best that I don't try too much

[boyapologist]

pretty sure I only slept like 2 hours last night

[alotofpockets]

Misconceptions | Yelena Belova

Pairing: Popular College Student!Yelena Belova x Quiet!Reader

Summary: The most popular girl in school is showing interest in you, the quiet girl. What will happen when you don't realize she's actually interested in you and not just wants you to do her homework? [Full request]

Masterlist | Marvel masterlist | Words: 1.5k

At school you were known as the quiet girl, or sometimes even the loner. You didn’t have any friends at college and made no effort to get to know people. For you there was a reason behind your choices, to others it just seemed like you were weird. You studied alone, you had lunch alone, you didn’t hang out with people, it was just you. 

During lunch you felt watched, the feeling was nothing new. People tend to enjoy making fun of the outcasts. When you searched through the crowd to see who it was, you found Yelena Belova’s eyes looking back at you. Yelena was one of the most popular girls in the school, currently sitting with the rest of her popular friends at a lunch table across the cafeteria. She didn’t even look away when the two of you made eye contact, while her friends were laughing. In annoyance you roll your eyes, pack your stuff and head to your next class.

*Meanwhile at Yelena's table* 

"What's wrong with you guys? She's just a person." Yelena says, annoyed with her friend's reaction to her interest in wanting to get to know you. "Yeah, a weird person." Josh answers, gaining him cheers and high fives from his friends. "Grow up." Yelena says while she packs her stuff and goes after you. She finds you in the hallway looking at your phone. "Hey, y/n." She says approaching you. You look up from your phone but don't greet her back. Yelena continues on, nonetheless. "I'm sorry about my friends." You shrug, you were used to it by now. "Hey, I was wondering if you would-" You cut her off before she could finish. "I'm not interested in doing your homework." You tell her and walk off. Yelena stands there dumbfounded, is that really how people treated you? All she wanted to do was invite you to a party next week. You went on with the rest of your classes, and continued your day. After your last class you went back to your dorm, turned your gaming device on and plopped down on your bed. Finally, you could relax and not have to worry about people watching your every move. 

A few days pass without any major interactions with ignorant people. Until Thursday afternoon, you had just grabbed your books and notes for your next class from your locker and were walking in the hallway on your way to your next class. You didn't think it was necessary to put all the stuff you just grabbed in your bag, since you'd have to take it out in just a couple minutes anyways, so you carried the books and your folder full of notes in your arms. You slow down when you see Chris standing right in front of you. Chris was the quarterback for the school's football team. He was tall. He was strong. He was intentionally blocking your path. You took a deep breath before you said, "Excuse me, can I pass?" He laughs, "I don't think so." There was not much you could do physically to get past him, so your only option was to ask again, as there was no other hallway that led to the classroom that you needed to go to. "Come on, just let me through, please." All he did in response was knock your books and folder out of your hands, your notes flew out of the folder and scattered across the floor. 

Before you could say anything else you heard a voice from behind you. "Chris, what is wrong with you? This is not how you treat people." Yelena walks past you and stands in front of Chris. "I do not want to see you near y/n ever again, do you understand?" Chris nods, he suddenly seemed small, like he was scared of Yelena, who was like a foot smaller than him. "Good, now scram." She says sternly. Her stern voice and angry face instantly soften when she turns around and looks at you. "I'm sorry, something like that won't happen again, I promise." She kneels down and starts gathering your papers, you join her and put everything back in the folder. "Why are you being nice to me?" You ask when she hands you the pile that she gathered. "Why wouldn’t I?" Yelena shrugs. “People tend to not be nice to me, as you’ve just witnessed. It’s not really the norm for people like me. People tend to only be nice to me when they want something from me. You know, like you did the other day.” 

“I didn’t want anything from you, I just wanted to invite you to a party. I’m sorry people are so horrible.” - “You want to invite me to a party, which will most likely consist of people who are horrible to me?” Yelena looks down at her feet, “Yeah, I didn’t really think that one through.. I thought it would be fun to hang out outside of school and get to know each other.” You’re finding it hard to believe that the most popular girl in the school wants to hang out with you, so you push. “What would your friends think when they see you hanging out with me?” Yelena is quick to respond, “I don’t care what they think. If they were to have a problem with it, which in my mind is totally unreasonable, that’s on them and they should grow up.” Hearing her say that, plus her standing up to you was starting to make you feel like she might actually be interested in getting to know you. You could just see where it would take you right? “Okay, we can hang out, but I’m not going to that party. Maybe we could go to an arcade or something?” Yelena smiles, “Yes, that sounds great.” 

You walk to your next class together, now definitely late. Yelena told you not to worry about it and follow her lead. She opens the classdoor and you both walk in. Yelena walks up to the professor and whispers, “I’m sorry Sir, there was a little time of the month issue, if you know what I mean.” He nods, “Take a seat.” The two of you find an empty set of tables at the end of the classroom and sit down next to each other. You worked together on the assignment of the class, and already you started to realize more and more that Yelena didn’t want anything more than to get to know you. You were laughing and making jokes about the assignment together. At the end of the class Yelena writes down her number in your notes. “Text me so we can make plans.” She hands you back the paper and is out the door. You look after her with a smile on your face.

When you get home from school, you grab your notes and add Yelena’s contact. You sent her a message right away.

You: Hey Yelena, it’s y/n. Did you still want to go to the arcades?

Yelena: Yes, of course! Do you have plans tonight?

You: No, not really.

Yelena: Great, can I pick you up at 8pm?

You: Yeah, sounds good :)

You sent her your address before you get started on your homework. Your mom calls you downstairs for dinner, you sit down at the table and tell her about your plans tonight. She’s both excited and nervous, but she tells you to have fun before she leaves for her night shift. Soon after you changed into a different outfit, you heard the doorbell ring. Yelena stood on the other side of the door with a big smile, “I’m sorry, I know I’m a bit early, I was just very excited for tonight. I can wait if you’re not ready yet.” Her eagerness calms your nerves. “I’m ready, let’s go.” You smile and walk to her car. At the arcade you played games the whole evening, you were better at aiming games and she was better at speed games. You had so much fun, you can’t remember when the last time was that you had laughed this much. At the end of the evening you traded in all your tickets for prizes. You got some snacks for the way back from your tickets, while Yelena got the biggest teddy bear that her tickets could buy. She hands the teddy bear to you, “Here, this is for you.” She says with a nervous smile. You take the bear and hold it tight. “Thank you, I love it.” Yelena grabs your hand and leads you back to her car. The moment her hand touched your, your heart skipped a beat. 

Yelena drives you back home and walks you up to your door. “I had a lot of fun tonight.” Yelena shares. “Me too, maybe we can do it again sometime?” You look up at her with hopeful eyes. “Yes, I would love to.” She takes a step closer to you and kisses your cheek. “I’ll text you when I get home safely.” You stand on the porch watching her leave. How on earth was all of this happening?

Yelena: I made it. Have a good night x

You: Good night x

💗If you enjoyed this fic, please consider buying me a coffee💗 

[ohbo-ohno]

About ghoap x reader, I dunno if you'll understand where I'm coming from, but I find it hard to imagine their relationship functioning in any capacity if reader DOESNT like Johny. Or if she likes Simon more than Johny. Like at first maybe Simon will be a bit chuffed, get that kick of control of superiority, but if reader doesn't quickly show interest of liking Johny, or an inclination, than Simon will start taking it personally?

Like what do you mean you don't like Johny? Look at him, he's sweet, he's obedient (sometimes) and he's just... Lovable. What do you MEAN you DONT like him? What is wrong with you?? And I think if you insist, or simply don't click with Johny, you start to slowly lose value in Simon's eyes. Like someone being unappreciative of his pups presence is an offence.

Doesn't matter if you like Simon, if you can't accept both of them, then maybe you don't have a place here. I think of Simon as a logical man, and even if he does like you, whatever initial thoughts he has on you will quickly depend on if you try to obey, get along, and fit in.

You can lead a horse to water, or whatever the saying was. Basically, if he finds more and more that it's an effort to make you want to obey, he'll just get rid of you. Like even Johny at his worst, always disobeying and making Simon have grey hairs, at least WANTS to try to be good, always has that need/want to obey, even if he fails sometimes.

And I think if you don't try, or take for granted that you're gonna stay here with that attitude, he just. Realizes that you aren't it. Gets rid of you and tries again. Maybe he dumps you back into civilization or kills you, who knows. But he simply cleans his hands of you.

Maybe he tries to find someone else, looking much MUCH more carefully for his requirements. Maybe he doesn't, at least for a while. Poor Johny is heartbroken that you didn't like him, that you didn't want to be around him. He tried so HARD, and that's the thanks Simon's boy gets? Absolutely unnaceptable.

He takes the time to console Johny, build him back up again after the incident, and maybe it takes time, Simon questions if they need to try again. This time, he'll be more meticulous, have a longer vetting process, and have to make sure they to put in effort for the both of them.

Probably do some private training before meeting Johny, so they have good behavior, don't hurt his poor puppy's fragile heart. They're not told they have to get along with Johny, otherwise they might try to fake it, but if they don't like him Simon makes sure they don't stick around long enough for his boy to get too attached. It's a trial and error sort of thing, but Simon hopes to find the One in the first few attempts- he likes Johny in physical pain, never emotional one, at least not like that. He won't make that mistake again.

Feel free to ignore my ramblings it is 3:03 am where I'm from I should be asleep deer god. I think when I see so much x reader fics, as much as I love them, my mind tries to go in a more cruel direction to fit into the perspective of who the characters are to me.

I LOVE ghoap x reader, or just ghoap in general, but my kind has a way of thinking of Simon as a control freak who doesn't succombé to his emotions quickly. It took him time to even like soap as a friend, much less as his dog. Even if he likes reader, he only did this because he loves Johny and the pup needs a new friend.

Johny is more emotional I guess, maybe less so than he portrays to Simon (he wants to be the man's good boy, and if he has to bark and wag his literal tail, or make dog noises in public, he'll do it) but definitely a bit more than normal people. Definitely the type to have crushes or fall in love fast. Maybe that's how Simon got the first reader: Johny liked her, Simon naively thought that that was enough to choose her.

But his boy is the type to hump anything with a pulse (and even that's optional) so maybe he should have been more patient, more critical.

Anyways I'm gonna collapse after this gosh does this thing not have a word counter? Anyways bye bye my love *kisses your forehead consensually I hope*

"It took him time to even like soap as a friend, much less as his dog." has left me dead on the floor

btw you might like The Price to be Paid! it's a ghoap x reader where ghost puts a looooot of effort into picking who he's going to kidnap for Johnny, and istg parts of it feel like they were plucked right from my subconscious, the author has a perfect grip on ghost as a character (imo)

in general, i think you are completely and totally 100% right. the only caveat i have is in a kidnapping fic it might take ghost a bit to figure the difference between "she hates us because we kidnapped her" and "she just hates us because we suck" lmfao but! overall i think you're totally right, that man won't talk to anyone who doesn't like his favorite boy

[taintedlxve]

Long post. tl;dr for like multiple personal mental health reasons I'm not gonna be here for a while. My Discord: minniusmaximus. My sfw blog: @braverybystarlight. Love y'all forreal and see you around (or not)

Anyways, I'm going to take a hiatus. I keep stressing out and feeling left behind when everyone's doin' a new thing and its probably a sign I need to get out more or at the very least do other things that aren't just chasing everyone else creatively.

I feel like I rely waaaay too much on public feedback just to do things I like and when I don't get any it puts me in a bad mood and makes me feel like nothing I do matters which sucks even if it's no one's fault and its my rejection sensitive dysphoria making any lack of reaction feel like a massive negative reaction.

There's also the matter of my job instability that's been making my life incredibly stressful and making it difficult to put too much thought and effort behind rp at the moment.

My current job sucks, I'm only like a week into the training stages and its putting massive drains on my mentals and my ability to be around in any capacity beyond just posting ooc posts. Like I've been upset at not getting much engagement but I don't think I've sent a single ask that wasn't a kind of jokey or short low investment thing in months.

I'm finally getting good news in that department though if you hadn't heard already so maybe this won't be a super long hiatus but I try not to make promises on that front lol.

Lastly (and you prolly knew this was coming) there's just the matter of Awoo. I can't stand her y'all, she pretended to be my friend for years, probably my longest one in fact and didn't even have the decency give me a reason before she blocked me and it's caused me to reflect on just how awful she's been to me in the last few years especially.

She's just like a bad person and ngl it bothers me that it feels like I'm mostly the only one that cares about how I was treated. And like I understand people might know her longer or not particularly know me well but that's just how I feel.

And maybe it makes me sound obsessed to be this mad over internet friendship but it's very hard to get over when she's so entrenched in my friend group. She can't even civilly exist in the same space as me she hates me so much and that's mad upsetting to think about. So idk, maybe I just need space from here in general and to focus on non lewd projects for a while until I can fully process that to move on from it.

In any case If I come back in like 2 weeks I'll see you soon lol, if I don't come back for a few months to a year I'll see you later, and if I never come back again and y'all don't follow me to Discord or my other projects then I'll miss each and every one of you.

[foxymoxynoona]

kiddos shenanigans of the week plz 🤩🤩🤩

Hmmm let's see. my older one knocked a tooth out --tripping again though at least this time it was loose. He insisted the tooth had to be loose under his pillow for the tooth fairy because "last time she couldn't get the envelope open when it was an envelope." (This is because he lost a tooth while I was in the hospital for surgery and my mom and husband forgot to put the money under his pillow, LOL) He has swallowed 2/4 teeth he's lost but has reassured kids at school that even if you swallow it, you'll just poop it out but you don't have to get it, the tooth fairy will still just leave you money. He wrote this in a note to his best friend to reassure him.

We weren't actually going to do tooth fairy, but when he was only 4 he slipped in the kitchen and knocked his front tooth out on our freezer door. Kids don't usually lose teeth that young so he didn't understand eventually he would lose and replace them anyway and FREAKED out, so in an effort to comfort him we put on the Toothfairy movie starring The Rock. He knows The Rock isn't the tooth fairy but decided there obviously is a real one who didn't want to be in that movie.

My youngest received walkie-talkies for his birthday. He requires me to read all his bedtime stories right now through the walkie talkies. He primarily uses them to call me or his brother farty-butt or poopoo pants from across the house (my older son is into this, this is goofy but not mean). I don't know what else I expected here.

My youngest said "Mom do you know what I don't like about school? That you don't get to have your mommy." 😭😭 We've been doing a lot of early trick-or-treating at school and city events, and they both are very excited any time they get a piece of candy they know I like. They always offer me anything I want, or the first bite, and have no issues about sharing with me. It's unreal, I don't know how they turned out that way 😂😂 I think I was a fierce guard of my candy as a kid. Makes me feel a LITTLE guilty for the candy I eat hiding in the bathroom so they won't hear.....

[cambion-companion]

I have not seen hotd nor read the related books, but when I somehow stumbled upon ... (I follow Tywin Lannister tags, which leads to GoT, which I guess leads to HotD?.. anyway!)... Aemond and I'm like hot damn who be dis! He looks yummy and villanus.

Anyway! I've read your headacanons and notice that you portray Aemond almost like a gentle lover. Why is that? What makes you think he would be such a nice husband and loving father? I know immediately that I'm basing my assumptions on mere looks and would think of him more as a possessive and jealous lover. The type that doesn't desire children whether his "wife" wants or not. Would he even take a wife? Not saying he would ever visit a brothel cause I can't picture him being entertained by whores. But perhaps a woman catches his eye and he just wants her to be his (marriage or not). Either way! He'd be the one in control. Some type of Dom/sub dynamics. OR I picture him loving (obsessing?) someone, from the shadows, not pursuing because he's afraid of being turned down. Rejection is his weakness? So he keeps his distance. OR if a woman does fascinates him he won't pursue cause he sees love/lust as weakness and with that in mind tries to suppress whatever he's feeling.

I clearly can't decide on how I view him when it comes to "love". But I definitely can't see a soft Aemond when it comes to his lover/partner/friend. So I would absolutely love your expert analysis.

Much thanks!😁

Hi my love! Thank you so much for the message, I'm flattered you want me to expound upon my opinion.

I think a key element in further understanding Aemond's depth of character would be watching the show for yourself, perhaps then it would make a little more sense.

The breakdown in somewhat of a nutshell, is Aemond has a few people in his inner circle whom he cares for beyond the shadow of any doubt. Primary among those few are his mother and his sister. In the show it is obvious he is a momma's boy and shows a much more gentle and loving side to her than we see with anyone else. There are also moments when he is obviously protective of his sister, Helaena, taking a defensive stance in front of her when confronted with a) a man being beheaded in court and b) in front of an actual dragon.

I believe because of this that whoever he falls in love with (if that were to ever happen) would also know the more secret softer side to him.

Aemond is an incredibly nuanced character, the show writers have really put in the effort to make him very layered, but on the surface we see someone who is aloof, even arrogant, and who is hell bent on exacting revenge upon his nephew who took his eye when they were children. The show also take steps to give us a look at Aemond's childhood and how he was bullied by his elder brother, Aegon, as well as his nephews because he had not bonded with a dragon yet.

When Aemond is presented with the opportunity to take revenge on his nephew, he jumps at it, demanding an eye for an eye. When his nephew flees from him Aemond pursues and in a tragic turn of events his nephew winds up dead. Here we see again the deeper part of Aemond's character shining through as he looks on with an expression of horror and regret at what he's done, clearly he did not intend on murder despite all his outward affectations.

Should he have pursued Lucerys demanding his eye? No. Did he mean to kill Luke? Absolutely not.

Again, this points to a depth of character that is more than someone who is cruel and psychotic.

When Aemond was 13 his older brother took him to a brothel to "get it wet" and when Aemond is retelling this story he does so with no pleasure or relish. He is confronted by the prostitute who was there when he was a child. She recognizes him, and it is painfully obvious how traumatized Aemond is from this. Another hint to how he is not simply some cold monster, but a lot of his attitude and confidence is a front to make up for all the trauma he has experienced.

So yes, sorry I went on for longer than I wanted. But I firmly believe that if a woman were to catch his eye and they were to fall in love, we would see that warm loving side to him yet again. It would be extremely difficult for him to actually fall in love, because I don't see him as being someone who opens up and trusts easily. But in his heart of hearts Aemond is a hurt boy who has created a hardened shell to survive in his world.

In the books he does fall in love with a woman, Alys Rivers. And I fully believe he loved her. He brings her with him before his final battle and she kisses him farewell. He calls her "my Alys" and heeds her when she coaxes him down from a rage.

"When informed of the greens' defeat in the Battle by the Lakeshore, Alys prevented an enraged Aemond from strangling the squire who brought the message to Harrenhal." (from her Wiki)

So yes, while I fully believe Aemond will continue to spiral as the events of the Dance unfold, he will keep that secret warmth for those who remain within his inner circle. Interestingly enough, most of those people are women. I honestly cannot think of anyone else who qualifies other than Helaena, Alicent and Alys.

But we will see!

Also here is the gif of him looking at his momma when she is worried about him going out in search of his brother.

[hjellacott]

Have I told you about my transman ex-boyfriend?

So a few years ago, I fell in love with (or so I thought) a woman. During the course of our relationship (on and off, often mere friendship, other times romantic/sexual), I began to notice he might not be a woman after all. I won't get into details as to what made me think so, but it had to do with things he said, feelings he had, and lifestyle decisions, amongst other reasons. Anyway. A few years after we first got together, during an off period of our relationship, in which we were still (and remain to this day) very close friends, he sought my help. He came out as he. Told me he was a transman. And suddenly, everything made sense.

I mean, I maintain that in my experience as a bisexual, I've never known someone, trans or not, who I couldn't tell their sex by their energy and their personality and other non-visual things. It happens to him as well, and like I mentioned in another post just now, it's something he's learned to accept and use to his advantage. He's got the female sensitivity, for example. The female understanding. And the knowledge you gain when for 20+ years you've done life as a woman. And when he dates women, they see and appreciate that. But at the same time, it made sense to me, right away, to see him as a man because in spite of the femaleness exuding from his pores, I suddenly looked back at our long relationship and saw many times in which he'd shown he felt at his best as a man, not as a woman.

I remember with certain heartbreak the first time he photoshoped himself with a beard and sent it to me asking "wouldn't I be so handsome?". The heartbreak comes from understanding the tremendous pain he was in. Because he was engaged to marry a lesbian who had no idea he saw himself as a trans man, and who really was NOT into men. Who told them, when he tentatively asked if she'd love him as a man that sure, she'd always love him, but wouldn't feel sexually attracted to him as a man. And he so desperately wanted to fully be a man, but he knew it'd cost the woman he loved. So he turned to me. And he asked me, would YOU find me sexually attractive as a man? (given I'm bisexual). You can imagine how bad I was feeling.

I had to really give this one a thought. I'd loved this person insanely for years. I'd been willing to sacrifice a lot for him. He'd been my first and wildest true love. And our continuous break-ups had really shattered my insides. But I had no wishes for him to keep hurting, and I knew he just needed someone to tell him he could still be attractive as a man. He'd been so successful living life as a woman, always getting a woman in bed with no effort, and sex was a huge part of his life, and he was very worried it'd all end. That no one would find him sexually attractive any more.

He never resented his fiancée. He understood she had no reason to find him attractive as a man, because he'd lived most of his life as a lesbian woman, and could easily put himself in her shoes. He knew that he'd probably be the same way if the situation was reversed and he told me so. And still expected me to answer him. To reassure him.

I broke it down in different questions. I said to him, would I love you? Well, your gender would not affect what I feel for you, but I can't love you any more, because that stopped a long time ago, because we had a relationship and it ended and you broke my heart. I can, however, love you as a friend, and that won't change.

Would I find you sexually attractive? Well. If you have a female physical body as you have had, of course, because that never stopped. Although I no longer am as into you now as I was when I loved you, but that's not affected by you being trans. And if you have a full physical transition, perhaps I'll still consider you very attractive, because I'm bi. I've no way to know for sure until it happens, but there's a good chance. But while you're transitioning, while you're in the middle... Perhaps I won't find you attractive, because I'm not pansexual. Because my libido does require certain physical characteristics for me to be into that, and if you're neither here not there, I can't promise you'll turn me on in the slightest.

But here's a thing, I added. I will always find you beautiful. You can't ask me if I'll love you or if I'd sleep with you, because we're exes, and is not appropriate. And the answer is very likely to become no either way, if we're not talking about a completely hypothetical situation, based on the fact that we're no longer together and I don't want us to be together again (regardless of whether you're trans or not). But I will always see the beauty in you. I will always value you. I will always appreciate you. I'll look at you and always see my best friend, who once meant everything to me, and who will forever remain a huge part of my life. And I believe your problem flirting after surgery will have more to do with your insecurity, than with anything else.

I told him, you've gotten used to being a very attractive woman, and to become a very attractive trans man, you'll need to work a bit. You'll need to get used to it. You'll need to find your confidence again. And until you do, I'll be happy to be your wingwoman. I'll go and tell the ladies about my incredibly kind, generous and loving trans man friend. Perhaps they won't be into you. Perhaps it won't even be related to you being trans. But I am sure there are millions of women out there who will be open to dating you. Perhaps they'll all be pansexual, or perhaps not. Doesn't matter. Because there's always someone for you out there. It has nothing to do with transphobia. It's all about knowing yourself and knowing when your body's suddenly gotten turned on by someone, or turned off... You might not be able to put a finger on what's done it, but something will do it.

I reminded my friend that no one could look into his gorgeous eyes and not want to at least have a drink with him. I reminded him that he's got a crazy attractive personality, and that that was the first thing that drew me to him, because back then, I wasn't accepting to the fact that I liked girls too. It took his wonderful personality to allow me to accept I was really into him as a woman. And I reminded him that he's always been fit, that girls dig fitness (many at least do), and that many girls dig scars as well, so they wouldn't mind about his surgical scars. And I reminded him that yes, he'd lose a fiancée, but he'd earn a best friend, because that woman loved him and would grieve their relationship and want him as a friend. I reminded him that the kids they had together would lose a second mum, but earn a second dad. That his mum would lose a daughter, and earn a son. And that regardless of the levels in which people were or weren't sexually attracted to him, those who loved him and cared about him would still do.

I'd love to tell you the story had a happy ending. Truth is, we haven't reached it yet. He's still struggling, still determined to have surgery, still dying to look in the mirror and see a beard, and short hair, and wear suits, and get rid of the breasts he hates. But I'm happy to say therapy is being insanely helpful. That he's happier. That he's hopeful. And that although he's still worried about how sexy he'll be... He at least knows he'll remain very much loved. And that he'll earn me as a wing woman and we'll laugh our arses off trying to get him a new girlfriend when the time is right. For now, he's still engaged. He's trying to figure out how to break his fiancée's heart, and how to be only her friend. He's still loving her, and she's still loving him. And for now, that's good enough. He understands no one should feel obligued to find him sexy as a trans man, that nobody owes him anything like that, and that lesbian women have every right to say no. And he understands that in a vast world, there is someone out there dying to meet him. And that when the match is right, things won't feel so tricky any more. And he's going to have a lot of help and support and love to help him get there.

[cherokeegal1975]

The Degan Incident series, trilogy review, it's mostly okay...

...and parts of it are on the icky side. Worth overlooking because the overall plot is okay.

The Degan Incident, The Cassini Mission and The Degan Paradox by Rob Calton. I have been looking and thinking about whether or not to buy them for a few years now. Finally I got them on Kindle.

I am off and on exploring books I normally don't pick. More often than not I do this on YouTube and found some really good ones I'd love to buy. I'll list those off later for you to check out later.

My favorite books are by authors like Mercedies Lacky, Heather Graham, Terry Brooks, Terry Goodkind, Robert Aspirin, Stephen King, Anne McCaffery, Dean Koontz...well, you get the idea.

So, in an effort to get out of my comfort zone I went exploring and found these three books. Now I don't mind this book is gay oriented, not to my taste, but I no, I really don't mind it. And I don't care how it's oriented, I generally don't care for romances. Stories with romance mixed in is fine, but the focus of the story has to be balanced...like The Outlander series by Diana Gabbledon for example.

In spite of being gay (no offense intended and I have no room to talk because I'm in the ace spectrum and some would argue that I am part of the LBGQ+ community in spite of being hetro as well as demi...it's really a matter of taste and nothing more) the overall story is a good one. Nicely balanced and has a good story plot.

The parts I didn't like has to do with the love scenes. Ugh. No class. It's not that there were two men making out that was off putting, it was the highly detailed spurting described that could have been toned down and left purely to the readers imagination. Any adult knows how disgusting anything primal a human does is. Even eating if you think about it. So that was over kill...and it seems to be a common thread with the few gay romances I've run across on YouTube and listed to because I was extremely bored and I am exploring. Haven't tried romances between two women yet, but there was a sci-fi story about a woman who loved her land and had to choose between it and the woman she loves. I saved the listing to check out in more detail later, but it seemed interesting. Another common thread is one man is more dominant than the other in some way. Why?

Fortunately I don't buy books like this except this trilogy and one other book, and after that I'm done. So done. I'd rather go back to the more mainstream stuff. Not that I hated the books, even the one I'm reading now seems like a good story so far. As I said, matter of taste, not prejudice. I don't even understand prejudices anyway.

So, I don't remember all the details exactly, just general plot lines (and yeah, I'd read this story again sometime). So there won't be too many spoilers. The main character is a war orphan all grown up living and working in a space station with his best friend and adopted brother on the same station. He meets an alien that's wearing a cloak and on a mysterious mission. They hit it off and that leads to the adventure.

Eventually the main character is mistakenly seen as a threat and kidnap him and hold him prisoner...I'll leave the why of that for you to find out.

And in the second book, the main character's adopted brother gets involved with another alien of the same species and both their DNA stolen for an illegal experiment involving the making of cyborgs. Or was that the third book?

Anyway, in spite of the over descriptive bits about sex fluids. And for me, strongly suggested sex or just implied is enough and have more focus on the adventure is more my speed. Not that I'd turn my nose up at a book with smut in it, so long as that's not the main focus of the book. Balance is key...and I'm not so bothered by smut that I won't enjoy something by Laurel K. Hamelton or the Earth's Children series by Jean Auel. I just prefer not to focus on...people doing it. Some people love that sort of thing, I just don't care and would prefer to leave it to the imagination rather than having it described in detail...and if it is, have some class by not describing bodily fluids in too much detail. Strongly suggest it and then move on.

This is my only complaint about the stories in this trilogy. Other than that, the overall plot is just good sci-fi. I'll hopefully get better at these reviews and still be mostly spoiler free. There is a balance to the romance, sex and the plot as a whole, so no problem there. But, just eww sometimes.

[dolphs-world]

August 10th, An actual Redux

Decided to return to my deleted post early. Talked about 3 things I liked about 'Citizen Kane'. 1. The Cockatoo. I like slow movies, a movie can be slow and paced well, especially given how fast a lot of newer videos on the internet are. But, by 90 minutes in, I was a little tired. The Cockatoo woke me right up. 2. 'The Simpsons'. It was cool seeing just how much of the film 'The Simpsons' referenced, especially with Mr. Burns. The Vaudeville number? Wow. But it was also interesting seeing what had escaped general pop culture. Last year I watched 'The Planet of the Apes', LOVED IT, and found it really interesting that the first quarter, the human sci-fi exploration part, was never referenced. Less so with 'Citizen Kane' given how it is the most overanalysed film, but I thought it was going to be focused a lot more on politics. Didn't know it was going to be non-linear and a focus on the ethics of journalism, which as we all know was what gamergate was really about (sarcasm). So yeah! 3. Plot Hole. In 'Toy Story', Buzz is a toy who doesn't think he is one. How does he know to act dead when a human appears? This is a plot hole I hear mentioned a lot. I have 2 things to say about it. a) It's very easy to rationalise. If you were on a strange planet, would you act like the friendly locals in a situation you perceive as dangerous to mitigate said danger? b) I'm a very particular person, I can focus on minor details like this that can take me out of the movie a bit. But if you can rationalise it with one line like I have, does it really ruin your enjoyment of the film? Does this ONE detail ruin it? I don't think so. The first scene of 'Citizen Kane' features the titular character dying. He says "Rosebud", drops a snow globe, and the nurse comes in later, covers him up, and takes him away. Who heard him say "Rosebud"? The Butler did. He said so right before telling his story. Granted, this happened right before the Cockatoo so it's easy to forget. But to have this kind of criticism you'd have to engage with the film pretty deeply and for the most overanalysed film, it's kind of embarrassing that this is a common criticism. Again, it's one detail. You're going to let THAT ruin your enjoyment? That was the first half. I think it was 3 times longer but c'est la vie. Anyways, the next section needs the start otherwise it doesn't make sense. I can't remember how I led into it so it's going to be a bit jarring.

We might have to move house at the end of the year. I really don't want to. My mum says that it won't change anything but I severely disagree. It will change everything, travel, interaction etc. It makes all the effort she's put "renovating" the house the past year or so pointless. But without a second full-time income we just don't have the resources to pay. I've offered to give half of my income but she doesn't want me to spend do that because I'll be worse of the future. I understand that but I'd still like to help out. I don't think having to move is fair. I really hope if we do have to move, it's still within this district. Recently, I started a new job. It involves working with children and I love it. I think I get along with people outside of my age range. And besides for a few people at my employment level, everyone is outside of said range. It's a much better alternative than lounging about at school, hoping that a friend has some time off from their "busy" schedule. My friends at Tertiary school I made back in Secondary school. They are all STEM students and all they do is complain (I get the irony). But they put themselves in this situation. No one forced them. The ones who have been pressured by their parents are the ones who don't complain. And it's so hard to have a conversation with any of them. Either they complain about school work, or they can only talk about one specific interest. It's like being forced to attend a lecture on a topic is uninteresting and told in a way that is unengaging. I don't mean to sound like a dick. I don't need to talk about the themes of 'Catcher in the Rye' or Hegelian Dialectics, but fucking rocks?! There's a friend of mine who for a month straight, whenever there was a moment of silence he would just talk about the different types of rocks. And that was it. It would be like if I just described how much screen time each Simpsons character had. And that's it. There's no meaning. And I know this guy can be a really engaging speaker. He did a 20 minute talk on how science can be hard to initially engage students. Beforehand, I did not care about the plight of the scienceman but by god if it wasn't one of the best things a peer did. But just talking about rock types or the different costumes of a Genshin character does not cut it for an engaging conversation. And I think part of it has to do with their hatred of English and the Humanities. I am often the butt of jokes because of my choice of studying, how easy it is, how childish it is. They often envy my life (I guess? don't know how else to phrase it) because of my "lucky" timetable. It wasn't lucky, I carefully planned it out so I had enough time to work and also have fun outside of both avenues of work. And I love my job! My friends envy me on a surface level. They see me walking about without any stress and they say "oh, wow I wish I could be as care-free and innocent as you". And then I describe the work I have to do for school, analysis of media sometimes, and my job and they say "oh, I could never do that". I know you can't! You're you and I'm me. I made my choices and I am happy with them. Why can't you be? Anyways, that's it. I will have more to say on their hatred of English another. Also forgot to reinclude my random thought about if video games are high art, another thing I will discuss at a later time. This isn't the end though, my previous entry is the "conclusion" to this. Now I got to run along and write a gratitude letter for someone. Lame!

[mmm-amba]

i don't remember the last time i wrote here

and it was earlier last week haha. it's funny. anxiousness does the funny thing where the world flips upside down in a matter of moments. the last time i wrote, i tried to write myself into a content, relaxed mood. the last few days have been pretty turbulent. i felt very tired and frustrated especially because i was stressing during break.

the nice thing about time is that things come and go. so maybe it was really bad but it passed. and maybe it was wasted time but that time was going to pass anyway.

during breaks i just don't know what to do with myself. i'm started to understand my mom better. she would always yell at us during holidays, when she had no more work left to distract herself. i can relate with that. i'm not yelling at anyone though just to be clear. there's just the sense of being lost, not knowing what to do with your time. forcing your mind to enjoy the relaxation, but failing to force the relaxation. and then just this unimaginable rage builds up. but i get it, my mom didn't have many healthy outlets. i'm lucky to have healthy outlets so even if i'm frustrated, at least i'm not taking it out on anyone directly.

i was hosting jc from wednesday to saturday. that was super tiring. it was fun! i learned that i am not a fan of live comedy. i also learned that movies are getting faster and faster paced (see: puss in boots). i also re-learned to NEVER TRUST THE BLUE LINE!!!

i'm trying to accept that there will always be ups and downs in life. in relationships. part of me thinks that i will always be able to feel happy no matter what because i should live my life and plan and control such that i can be happy. but logically i know this is a bust. my heart still believes that i should be happy because i don't deserve to be truly sad and any sadness comes from lack of foresight and that my friends is side effects of model minority.

but on the idea of ups and downs in relationships, i can fully believe it. my therapist and i had an incredibly nice conversation today. she convinced me to change the way i view conflict! i don't think i've had such a productive therapy session in awhile. i told her about me and ny's weekend. she told me that conflicts/disagreements happen in healthy relationships. apparently, all couples go through the thing where one person repeatedly asks the other person to change something. it's just like slowly breaking out of the habit, and as long as the other person is putting in effort to change, then it's fine.

therapist asked me questions and we talked about how

growing up, my parents would expect me to completely change after telling me something once. any criticism they repeated, they would throw a tantrum.

it made me think that all conflict of any kind of dreadful and a sign of failure, a precursor to a huge falling out. so the idea that it's normal to encounter bumps and repeat the same feedback is compleeeetely new to me. in my mind, conflict/disagreement is so bad and must be avoided at all costs!

this took a huge weight off of my shoulders. if conflict is normal, then i don't feel as bad when i bring up things. if conflict is normal, then i don't get frustrated at myself for being "sensitive" or emotional/sad. if conflict is normal, then i won't take it personally when ny screws up. i won't internalize his mistakes as a sign of intentional lack of care for me.

the only past reference i have is my relationship with ia. the problem with ia is that he would always say that he would change, but towards the end it was all talk, no action. the relationship was going to end anyway, but i think that previous relationship made me really averse to the idea of repeating the same constructive criticism a few times and that being normal.

the difference in my relationship with ny is that i can see a bunch of ways he has changed to make space for me, and he genuinely really likes making me happy (awwwwwwww i know so sweet gross). the revelation for today is that someone can make mistakes to make me sad WHILE ALSO being very devoted to me. because no one is perfect! because it takes some time for someone to break an old habit and adopt a new one!

the weekend was really rough for me, but i can see like a million ways that ny tried to make it better. bless his poor, patient soul. ultimately, the root cause was that i was viewing conflict as this grave terrible ominous thing but it wasn't. it was just routine maintenance, like updating your computer except the software update comes with a little hurt feelings and tears shed. but the software update also comes with a lot of care and devotion :') and that makes me happy.

[sajra-savera]

THIS.

Soo relatable! Like i love love love love to help but only when it's not in cases like 'Yk what? I'm not gonna put any effort into understanding when the professor is teaching, bunk classes and have fun. Cause I got that smart ass as a friend who I expect to teach me when the finals are near because she won't need to study to pass! And I bet she has no social life or urge to enjoy her life by bunking classes and all anyways so I might as well have my fun when she's working her ass off in university and then use her a week before finals by wasting her time teaching me. And yeah! I won't even thank her cause as a friend she's supposed to teach me duh!'

My parents think the same! They don't like it when I bring friends over or when they find me teaching stuff over calls. I had arguments with my mother and siblings over this multiple times cause I'm like 'they're my friends! come on' and they are like 'friends who only remember you when in need? Yeah right'

Being academically smart is just friends constantly reminding you that you can never really have good friendships with anyone if you don't let them use your hardwork for their own academic benefits.

[kedreeva]

Hi! i hope it's okay to messages you about this. your posts about concrit have been so encouraging and helpful! Today i was talking to someone who isn't active in fandom much, but she read this really nice fic and asked me about commenting, and she said that obviously she wouldn't be mean but concrit is okay right? so i told her that unless the author asked for it, she shouldn't, and she didn't understand why, so i tried to explain it with that "you've brought cookies to work" thing, and she said that actually, she would want people to tell her if there was something she could do better, because otherwise she would make the same cookies again next time and people would have the same critique and not enjoy them, so no one gained anything. and it's great that she would want the concrit, but she shouldn't assume that others do. and then she said she thinks people who won't accept criticism have a weak character, and why wouldn't they want to improve, and she won't comment on the fic at all now. and i guess that's better than leaving concrit, but that was still so frustrating. i sent her some of your posts, but i don't think she got it, unfortunately. anyway, thanks for listening!

Hi! It's perfectly fine to message me about this 💜

Unfortunately sometimes people are just not at a place of development where they can put themselves into anyone else's shoes. "I would want this so everyone else must too" is a very narrow scope of vision and learning to think "I would want this, but I should not assume everyone does and should ask them to make sure" instead can take a lot of effort. Some people are willing to put in that effort, some aren't. You can try to teach them, but ultimately it's on their shoulders so don't beat yourself up about it if they don't want to hear it.

I've come to prefer the "taking a walk" analogy over the potluck one. It goes like this: If I'm out taking a pleasure stroll with some friends and a stranger comes up and starts critiquing how I walk or why, I'm not going to feel particularly charitable toward them. Someone coming up to me to explain how I need to walk in order to run in marathons isn't going to do anything but annoy me, because the point of taking a pleasure stroll with friends isn't to run a marathon. It's to hang out with my friends doing something we both like for our own reasons, as a fun social activity. It could be the best advice in the world, but it's the wrong context in which to provide it, so it doesn't matter. It's worthless because the person giving advice obviously doesn't understand anything about my motivations or goals and didn't even bother to ask if I wanted help in the first place; all they're concerned about is making sure they look smart.

The other thing that's important to both analogies is the idea of just... Basic manners involving consent. Your friend would want to be told, but if you want to reopen the dialogue, ask her which is better: someone at a potluck coming up unprompted to say "your cookies have too much salt," or someone coming up and saying "hey, you baked the cookies right? Do you mind if I give you some advice for next time?" and then respecting the answer. She also has the option of saying "hey, I made the cookies, does anyone have any pointers for next time?" which allows her to consent up front.

Anyway, I'm sure I'm not the only one who appreciates you attempting to educate your friend on common fandom manners. I hope she learns better in a gentle way.

[itsdanii]

Rejecting you and regretting it

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: slight cursing, rude behavior (resolved), do message me if I forgot any.

ft. sakusa kiyoomi, tsukishima kei

Sakusa Kiyoomi

you're not oblivious to the fact that kiyoomi is a very conscious person

that's one of the things you loved about him

he was hygienic and he always made sure that his health was his utmost priority

but one downside is that kiyoomi had the tendency to push people away because of his straightforwardness

you were used to it and in fact, you were one of those people he tolerated

but everyone has their bad days

and unfortunately for you, today was kiyoomi's and since you were always attached to him by the hip, he unintentionally snapped at you

what's worse is that he snapped at you the moment you confessed to him

"Omi!" you shouted happily as you entered the gymnasium, giving Komori a small wave before making your way to where Kiyoomi was sitting.

He looked at you with a frown. He wasn't wearing a mask since they were training awhile ago and only took a quick break. "Y/n, what are you doing here?"

You sat beside him making Kiyoomi grimace and slightly move away. You frowned at him, completely displeased at the action. "I just wanted to give you a visit. Plus, I have something to tell you."

You started to fiddle with your fingers nervously. You practiced your confession several times already but doing it seemed harder than you thought.

"What is it? Talk, I'm not in the right mood to socialize right now."

Out of panic, you quickly blurted out a rather loud, "I like you!" You immediately covered your mouth with your hand and stared at him wide eyed.

The other players looked at you with sympathy, knowing what's about to happen. Out of all days, you really had to confess today, when Kiyoomi was in a pissy mood after several fangirls pushed themselves against him this morning, not minding his personal space.

Kiyoomi stared at you with a serious expression before standing up. "I don't like you. Leave."

"But Omi.."

"You're irritating and you always bother me when it is clear that I don't want your company." He turned around and left you on the bench, your head casted down in humiliation.

You whispered a small sorry before running out of the gym with tears falling from your eyes.

For the next few days, you did your very best to stay away from Kiyoomi. You changed your route to school knowing that your usual route meant that you have to pass by his house. Even if you got scolded several times for being late, you did not stop.

You sat near the door so you can easily exit the room after class. You even stopped eating with Komori and Kiyoomi during breaks and lunch. Even your usual routine of visiting the gym during practices was stopped.

At first, Kiyoomi didn't mind. He knew that you'd come back in a few days just like you always did. You like him after all, right?

But when a few days turned into weeks, He started getting bothered. Why weren't you pestering him like always? Why did you stop visiting him? You said you like him, right?

It was the second week that Kiyoomi took action. He woke up extra early to wait for you infront of your house, aiming to confront you about your behavior.

When you went out, your eyes widened slightly upon seeing Kiyoomi waiting for you outside. He was wearing his face mask while staring at you intently, letting you know that he purposely waited for you.

You looked down and was about to walk pass him when you felt him tugging on your wrist. Your gaze snapped to his hand, not believing that he was indeed touching your skin.

"Sakusa?"

His eye twitched at the weirdness of you not calling him like usual. Sighing, he stepped a little closer to you, hand still holding your wrist to ensure that you won't run away from him.

"You're ignoring me," he said while eyeing you. "Why?"

You took your hand from him and furrowed your brows. "I'm just doing you a favor. I don't want to be a bother anymore. Isn't this what you wanted?"

"I-"

"It's fine, Sakusa. You don't have to force yourself to apologize just because you feel bad or obliged to."

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I'm not apologizing because I feel bad."

"Then what? You're apologizing just to make fun of me? I know I said I like you but that doesn't mean that you have the right to-"

"You don't get it!"

At this point, you were both raising your voices. Some passersby were looking at you two weirdly, some even running as to not get caught up in the fight.

"Get what, Sakusa? Why don't you tell me so I can understand?!"

"I like you!" Kiyoomi exclaimed. "I... Fuck. I like you, okay? I wasn't in the mood when you confessed and I rejected you without thinking. I messed up. The moment I saw you walk out, I knew I fucked up real bad and I-"

"Om-"

"And I thought that you'd come back the next day to bother me again like usual. I wanted to apologize but my pride-"

You sighed as he continued to ramble. With fast movements, you stood on your tiptoes and encircled your arms around his neck to pull him down to you, kissing him over his mask.

When you let go, Kiyoomi was silent. His eyes were wide and you thought that you went over board. Panic made its way to your face as you try to find the words to explain.

"Sorry, I didn't me-"

This time, he was the one to cut you off. Kiyoomi took off his mask and bent down to kiss you on your lips. One of his arms snaked around your waist to support you while the other settled on your nape, angling you to him.

"Be my s/o."

Tsukishima Kei

Everyone in Karasuno knew how much you like Tsukishima

In fact, you remind him everyday

You often give him fresh strawberries from the market and even bake him strawberry cake

Sometimes, you would put little sticky notes on his belongings and write some encouraging words like "you can do it", "I believe in you" or "take it easy!"

On his birthday, you even gave him a hoodie with a dino design (which he secretly loved)

There are times that you knew Tsukishima gets irritated when you visit and even snaps at you but you didn't mind. You liked him and a small snap will not discourage you

But what you didn't know was that it would only take one conversation to completely shatter your heart

"-And they're back," Sugawara said as he saw you enter the gym, a bubbly smile present on your face as usual.

"Kei!" You skipped your way towards Tsukishima and handed him his water bottle which you voluntarily refilled with hot water.

He only gave you a 'tsk' and took the water bottle. Adjusting his glasses, he stared at you from head to toe as if analyzing you, a small blush appearing on his cheeks.

"What are you looking at? Have you finally come to realize that you like me back?" you cheekily asked, poking his bicep.

"No. I was just wondering how someone could look so ugly."

Despite what he said, you forced yourself to giggle, covering your upset feeling with an eye roll. "Oh shut up, Kei. You don't have to hide it, you know? Don't worry, I'm not going to reject you."

You winked at him causing Tsukishima to blush even more.

The rest of the boys snickered and laughed at his reaction which made Tsukishima more embarrassed than he already is.

"Just confess to the girl already, Tsukishima. Can't you see she's trying hard to win you?" Daichi said with a small chuckle while patting Tsukishima's back.

Tsukishima just huffed and pushed his glasses up. "What's there to like? They're nothing but an eyesore anyway."

"What?" you asked in disbelief.

Having a playful banter with Tsukishima was normal in your routine but this was the first time he called you such an offensive term. Does he really think of you that way?

"Oh come on, stop acting dumb. I don't even get why there are guys running after you. I mean, there's really nothing much to look at, right?"

Everyone grew quiet at what he said, clearly not expecting Tsukishima to be at such level of rudeness.

You swallowed the lump forming in your throat as your insecurity skyrocketed. "I try hard every single day to look presentable to you. I-"

You paused for a moment to laugh pathetically at yourself. "I exert a lot of effort to make you notice me. I cook for you, I give you gifts. Heck, I even stay after class to help clean the gym so that the task would be easier for you and I'm not even asking for anything in return."

Tsukishima glared at you sharply that you immediately felt extremely smaller than him. "I never asked you to do those things for me."

"Can't you at least show me that you care?" You wiped your tears with the back of your hand. "Because I'm slowly getting tired of this push and pull game."

"Don't you get it? I don't like you. Why don't you stop pushing yourself to me and start getting a life, hm?"

"Tsukishima, that's enough!" you heard Daichi yell at him.

"Y/n?" Sugawara was immediately beside you, his hand rubbing circles on your back in attempt to calm you down.

"No-" You lifted your face up to meet Tsukishima's eyes. "I think he's right. I should stop being a nuisance and focus on myself."

"I'll leave you alone. I'm sorry," you said before giving Tsukishima a bow and leaving the gym with everyone's eyes following your figure until the door shut.

Everyone could only look at Tsukishima as he cursed under his breath.

"Shit."

The moment you left the gym, you headed straight to the comfort room to let your tears out. You stared at yourself on the mirror as tears cascaded down your cheeks.

"You're beautiful," you reassured yourself while pointing at your own reflection. "What he said doesn't make you any less. Know your worth."

You wiped your tears and splashed your face with cold water before getting out and heading to class without sparing Tsukishima any glance.

You ignored Tsukishima, stopped visiting the gym and focused on yourself. You even made made friends with some of your classmates that you didn't bother getting associated with last time because you were too focused on capturing the attention of Tsukishima.

Unbeknownst to you, a certain male was eyeing you as you interact with other people. He blamed himself for pushing you away. He didn't talk to you, thinking that you only wanted space for a couple days before bothering him again.

He knew that what he said was out of line and he regret everything he did. He even asked Yamaguchi and the rest of the team for advice but all of them responded with the same answer - apologize and tell you how he feels.

Tsukishima gripped the pen tightly as he watched you laughing at something your classmate said. The said classmate was too close to you and it was obvious that he was trying to flirt with you.

"Tsukki?" Yamaguchi called out. He followed Tsukishima's gaze and sighed. "Why don't you go and talk to them?"

"Tsk. Why would I do that? Can't you see they're enjoying his company?" Tsukishima bitterly said.

"You'll end up losing them if you don't do something about it now. Who knows, they might already be lo-" Yamaguchi stopped as Tsukishima instantly stood up and made his way to where you are.

Taking your wrist, he pulled you towards him, heading out of the classroom.

"Tsukishima, what the hell?!" You tried to resist but his grip on your wrist only tightened.

You gasped as he suddenly stopped, trapping you against a wall with his arms beside your head.

"I'm sorry." Tsukishima closed his eyes, balling his fist as he bowed his head. "I said hurtful words to you and no amount of apology will take those away but I want you to know that I regret every single one of it."

You bit your lower lip as you felt yourself tearing up once again. "Do you really think that I'm ugly? I was hurt, Kei. It's just.."

"I'm sorry." His hand made its way to your cheek, cupping your face while he wiped your tears with his thumb. "You're not ugly."

You shook your head and averted your gaze from him, a sob escaping your lips as you felt yourself falling for him deeper. "Don't. Just stop. I'll accept your apology but please just leave me be. I won't be able to stop my feelings for you if you keep leading me on."

"But I don't want you to stop."

"What?"

"I've fallen for you." He tipped your chin up with his hand making you look at him and you were surprised to see the vulnerability in his features. "Please look at me again, y/n. Keep loving me because I swear that I'll do things different this time. Give me a chance."

You can't help but encircle your arms around him, burrying your face on the side of his neck as you nodded repeatedly. "One chance, Kei."

Tsukishima hugged you tightly, lips pressing on the side of your head. "One chance." He leaned away from you and held your face with his hand, eyes boring to yours admiringly.

"You're beautiful."

Likes and reblogs are appreciated ❤️

[agape-bakery]

Hey there! I'm so happy that your requests are open now.

I love all of the brothers a lot and even though I love one of them a bit more than the others, I would never date this demon, because I wouldn’t want to hurt the feelings of the others.

So could you write something about the brothers reacting to MC when she tells them she couldn’t date each other, because she feels so guilty? Thank u!!

Omg I just got so excited that I forgot nearly about the rules haha, so sry!

I would like you to write about a female MC and Mammon, Belphie and Lucifer! Thank u!! (again)

👀 (2/2)

Thank you for adding an emoji, anon!! ^^ I say I'm loyal to Mammon but I have kissed and flirted with the other brothers with every chance I get- (I'm still a Mammon simp and nothing's gonna change that ajsbfkasbfja)

Mammon, Belphegor, and Lucifer with an MC who couldn't date them because she's guilty

Lucifer

He knows that his brothers are fond of you but so is he, the eldest would even say that he's enamored with you

He takes all the chances he can get to be close to you, cutting off his brothers and stealing you from them

But upon your rejection, Lucifer felt his calm and dominant composure break slightly

And when the reason is that you didn't want to hurt any of their feelings, Lucifer had understood

"I see. I was so caught up with trying to win your love but I didn't even consider what you felt. I...apologize, MC."

Even now, you were still nice and considerate as he expected you to be

He's willing to wait as long as you're okay with it, but that doesn't mean he's going to stop cockblocking his brothers to spend time with you

He's okay with the two of you being just friends at the moment, he hopes that soon there will be something more

Mammon

As the first demon you made a pact with, Mammon had the right to be your first in everything (so he says)

He's definitely a protective one, always trying to make you stay away from the brothers in an effort to spend more time with you

He's taken several days if not weeks just to confess so when he hears the last thing he would want in a confession, he's completely heartbroken

"Wha- Why, MC? I know I'm not really the greatest person in the world and I stole a few coins from you but I can change!! I promise!!"

Once you explained to him, Mammon looks defeated

He wants to say something, something to convince you that he was good enough but by the guilty and sad look in your eyes as you avoid eye contact with him...

He decides that he shouldn't put more fire into the flame

Even if he was hoping for something more, that isn't going to stop him from being close friends with you

If you made up your mind, he isn't going to stop you

As he walks away though, he turns back to you and tells you to wait for him

"Alright, MC. I understand.. just...just wait for me, okay? My brothers are a bunch of work but I'm not going to lose...not now."

Belphegor

He's the last brother to meet you so he's working hard to gain your affection..well, as hard as the Avatar of Sloth can do anyway

Might have expected for you to feel this way, there's no way a human like you won't feel guilty and overwhelmed by these many guys trying to be your boyfriend

He's tired just by thinking about it

Still, he's disappointed and hides it by acting like he doesn't care

"Whatever, that's your choice anyway."

Still lays on you though, it's something the two of you do often so it wasn't really awkward

He does correct the ones who mistake the two of you as a couple in case you're uncomfortable by that term

[colourful-void]

Supporting Satoshi - an examination and comparison of JN36 and XY121

Part One: Snowballs do not cure depression but it was worth a shot

You know that episode of Pokemon where a gym leader beats Satoshi in a battle so hard that one of his pokemon gets mildly hurt (though there's no long term effects) and because of it he becomes depressed, closing himself off from his friends before someone comes along to pull him out of that mental state, and also severe weather phenomena is involved and a reflection of a persons mental state? Or rather, the two episodes?

So when I was watching Journeys, I noticed an episode that had a similar-- but distinctly different-- plot to an xy episode I had seen before. And what was particularly interesting was that while I couldn't stand the xy episode, the journeys episode was one of my favourites. I won't drag this out for you guys, I love the journeys episode and re watch it a LOT and the xy episode sort of just leaves me with a sour taste in my mouth. and don't go claiming its solely ship bias, because i saw the xy episode first and disliked it then.

This will analyze both of these episodes, comparing them against each other. Specifically within the context of how Goh and Serena both help Satoshi through a similar situation There will be some discussion of AmourShipping and Satogou in this analysis. I'm going to be a bit negative regarding Serena's actions and the potential "romantic" weight of them here, but I want to be clear that I Do Not dislike Serena as a character. Personally, I wish the writers had given her more room to grow outside of her romantic interests, but I do not hate Serena as a character. I do, however, disagree with her actions in this episode. Please don't take this out of context and dont be ship fighting in the comments, it's boring. This is a comparison of These Two Episodes, not of Goh and Serena and their respective ships as a whole.

This part mainly focuses on the xy episode and the second will focus mainly on the journeys. It's only divided into parts because of the tumblr post limit.

(If you like the xy episode or hate the journeys episode, awesome! having your own opinions is great. these are mine though, so i hope you'll listen to them)

With that out of the way, let's start. And I'm going to use mostly japanese names here because I'm taking screencaps from the subbed japanese copies.

The set up for each of these episodes is eerily similar as pointed out in the gag at the start.

Xy has a bit more set up before the episode in question though, with the initial loss and retreat into the forest by Satoshi taking place the episode before. The episode opens up proper with Satoshi taking time to breathe to himself, alone in the forest.

Emphasis is placed on him taking a deep breath, aided by the visuals showing them (thanks cold air) and the silence of the rest of the soundscape, with the only other sounds being the wind and some bird pokemon, plus some falling snow.

Journeys Satoshi starts off in a better mental state than Xy, with the episode starting off with him jogging along with his pokemon.

However, we can still see that he's been affected by the last battle he lost, against Saitou, as he's putting a lot of effort into training and doing better.

Which, doesn't go well for him, as he loses his next two battles as well, and drops in the World Championship ranking as a result

And he's pretty upset about it too. Same thing as over in xy. In both cases, a respective friend/love interest notes that Satoshi is upset and expresses concern.

He's got support from his friends in both situations! But that support comes across in very different ways.

But, to understand how that support manages to affect Satoshi, we need to understand the problem at play.

Now, I wanna make something clear here. Satoshi's problem is not that he is a sore loser. I'm not arguing that's not a contributing factor, or that he's not upset about the loss (particularly in the world championships), He's still bitter about the lost part, but the root of the problem is not losing, he's been shown to be fine with losing (if not a bit more motivated to win now) in prior episodes.

Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are getting hurt. Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are getting hurt, because they're losing battles. Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are losing battles because he's not training them well enough. And to clarify, that's not my viewpoint, it's his. Satoshi's problem is that he's not good enough for himself, and he feels that that's something he has to fix on his own.

So how do we help him?

Our weather event in question is introduced in separate points in the episodes, but I'll cover them both now.

In xy, it's this snowstorm, which conveniently becomes a problem directly after Serena returns to the Pokemon Centre.

In journeys, it's a sandstorm! That's in near direct contrast to a snowstorm! Incredible.

Heading back to xy Satoshi, things aren't going great in the forest. Luckily, Serena's run off to find him.

I think it's of note here that Serena runs off with the best intentions, she wants to help Satoshi, plain and simple. It just sort of goes wrong along the way.

It's worth noting that Xy Satoshi tries to bring himself out of being sad by the tried and true method of "stop being sad"

Despite telling himself this, he doesn't get anywhere. Which makes sense, because it's not getting the the root of the problem. It's not even addressing it at all. He's just trying to 'be better', which isn't even a battle strategy. However, it is something I can see him saying, so this isn't a critique of Satoshi's thought process, but me pointing out that this isn't really effective. Which is supported by the narrative, because again, he doesn't get anywhere, he doesn't even move.

I can't show it in screencaps but the lights in Satoshi's eyes are shaking here, something that they consistently do throughout the series when he's feeling a particularly strong emotion. Keep that in mind. It couples well with another trait of his, and that's his hat!

And by that I mean how he hides his eyes with the brim of it when upset, something he does exactly as Serena shows up and calls out to him. Now, he's not upset that Serena is here. He's upset about the pokemon stuff still. He's trying to hide the fact that he's upset from Serena.

Serena starts off with her speech well, trying to appeal to Satoshi to let her in and talk things out. And maybe it's because he wasn't ready for it yet, or because of the way she phrases it (a lot of 'i' and 'me' language which can be helpful but can also come across as though she's making it about her. not her intent i don't think, but a possible interpretation.), it's not her fault for how Satoshi reacts regardless.

But how Satoshi reacts is not good.

Now it's really interesting to note that before this, Serena was standing while Satoshi was sitting, putting her above him in terms of active power, when it comes to how the shot is presented, but when Satoshi stands up, the camera tilts with the movement so that they're on equal level. Neat!

And Serena yells in return, scolding Satoshi for not talking about it. Not the best move, since pushing someone to talk about something that's upsetting them isn't really productive, but she's trying here and she's frustrated.

Satoshi continues to withdraw and self isolate, claiming it is his problem and that he wants to be left be. Now, this is the mindset of a clearly upset person and isolation may not be the best option, but he did make the explicit request to be left alone here.

He's clearly upset as he turns away from Serena's eye and slumps over a little.

And then Serena throws a snowball at him.

Angry as he is, you can see Satoshi's expression change when he sees Serena's reaction.

Serena tells Satoshi that she's not like the Satoshi she knows, who is always full of energy and positive and a leader, and a bunch of other positive traits. The problem here, is that Serena's looking at an idealized version of Satoshi. And while the intent here was probably meant to be something more like "you have so many wonderful traits about you I know you can do this", coupled with the snowballs and the phrasing, it seems as though Serena is scolding Satoshi for being sad.

Or rather, being angry with him for not living up to her idealized version of him, and not wanting him to express any negitave emotions.

Which is sort of a really bad mindset.

The snowballs continue, never once does Satoshi fight back. In fact, he stops arguing entirely after the first one. Serena knocks him off his feet and tells him he's not being himself, before running off. (In the english dub, Serena claims that Satoshi isn't being "the real satoshi" and then demands that the real Satoshi be "given back", so it could be worse)

Satoshi decides to literally run his problems away, because it will help him reach some kind of conclusion, and immediately trips and falls down a large hill. No, I'm not making that up. Something like this just isn't like him. He's just gotta stop being sad!

Now personally, I really disagree with the idea that "being upset" isn't "like a person". That's because based off of my own experiences, I know it can be really damaging to hold the mindset that any negative emotions you feel aren't a part of you and that you shouldn't be upset because you're usually a positive and happy person. Not the case with every person, but I personally really have a problem with shows telling children that they just shouldn't be upset instead of processing their emotions in a meaningful way. (The journeys episode doesn't do an outstanding job of it either, but this is a bit of a tangent anyway. A show that does do this right is "OK KO! Let's be Heroes" which actually deals with this problem in greater depth and does a fantastic job of it.)

But the snowball scene ends here. Now I'll get back to Journeys in a moment, but since Serena has finished her part of the comparison for the most part, I'm going to summarize a bit more of the xy episode.

Satoshi decides to literally run his problems away, because it will help him reach some kind of conclusion, and immediately trips and falls down a large hill. No, I'm not making that up.

The snowstorm kicks in, Serena get back annoyed, then similarly groans and yells, and the whole xy gang + pokemon go running off in search of Satoshi. Pikachu appears the most concerned.

Now Serena tells the others she lost her cool and said something horrible to Satoshi, but explains its because Satoshi is someone she admires. Cool motive, I get it, still kinda bad.

and in the end, it's not Serena's words that get he message across to Satoshi. The solution to this problem was Satoshi finding a way to reaffirm his abilities and instinct.

In the xy episode, he helps some pokemon out of the tree, and when his very cool frog friend shows up, they're able to work together with their bond to save this one from falling off a cliff.

Here's the point. Satoshi learns by doing, by actions. He needs to see first hand that there are ways of getting past his problems, and that it's worth having the courage to keep going. The lesson is about valuing pokemon as equals and partners, and specifically that trying to be better as the trainer alone isn't going to help.

This is essentially where this plot line ends, team rocket is there for a bit as well but as much as i love them they're not relevant here, and some fun stuff with the league, love it not important right now its like 3am and I'm not sleeping until this is finished so we gotta keep things moving.

This was no doubt Serena's intent to get a similar point, but she goes about it the wrong way. She tries to convey this with words, as conversation and motivational words have helped her in the past (Elle's words of praise stick with her, Satoshi's words from when they were kids, etc). It's a good idea, but their different ways of learning and growing from a similar situation are incompatible, and that's why things don't work out in Serena's favour. There's also still the problem of "pulling yourself together" not being helpful in this case.

There's also a very similar line in this scene to the one at the end of the journeys episode, as Satoshi says to his frog that they should start over from scratch. It's essentially the same phrase with different wording. It's great. The Storm ends as he realizes this as well! Wonderful in terms of pathetic fallacy.

The gang all reunites, its nice. Satoshi thanks Serena for what she said after apologizing to everyone, which contradicts what he said earlier but I've already established that I dislike this message here so I won't go over it too much. I guess he's right in a literal sense in that in response to her words he went and ran until he tripped off a cliff but the emotional growth here was because of his own actions (and the frogs), not Serena's. Sorry Serena, you'll get em next time.

This is essentially where this plot line ends, team rocket is there for a bit as well but as much as i love them they're not relevant here, and some fun stuff with the league, love it not important right now its like 3am as I write this so we gotta keep things moving.

So. What about Goh?

Well...

(Part Two here on account of image limit!!)

[knaite-solo]

Dangerous - Zuko x Reader

Summary: When you don't leave your tent, Zuko gets worried and decides to do something about it. 

Pairing: Zuko x Waterbender!Reader

Genre: Fluff with some comedy

Warnings: Swearing and period stuff

Word count: 2856

That day, you didn't leave your tent.

Zuko was very attentive, but it didn't take much effort to realize that there was something wrong with you. It was unusual for you to avoid talking with the rest of the group. You always liked to interact with others and help even in the smallest tasks.

So when the hours went by, and you didn't leave, he started to get really concerned. The prince began to walk to your tent until he sensed a hand on his shoulder. When he turned around to see who it was, he found Sokka staring at him very seriously. So serious that it didn't suit his goofy character.

"Don't go in there." He said in a warning tone.

"What? Why?" Zuko asked with a confused expression.

"Just don't." Sokka looked around as if he was seeking for a hidden enemy and then whispered. "It's dangerous. Trust me, man."

Zuko decided not to enter your tent, at least not at that moment. Sokka's warning had left him confused. What could be so dangerous about you? He decided to gather more information. Maybe Toph or Aang could help.

                                          ☆

"So, what do you think?" Zuko asked Toph, who was lying on a stone while playing with her space rock.

"Probably some silly stuff." The earthbender said while changing her rock to numerous shapes.

"But Sokka said it was dangerous. Maybe she is ill or something." The prince tried to think about other possibilities. Toph just looked extremely tired of the conversation.

"Well, I tried to talk to her earlier in the morning..."

"And?"

"She cursed me for opening the tent and let light enter her eyes." Toph blew a few strands of hair in an annoyed attitude. "Sokka usually says dumb things, so I never thought I would agree with him on something. But he's right."

She stopped playing with her space rock and transformed it back in a bracelet, putting it in her arm.

"I don't know what happened, but I don't give a shit anyway."

Zuko just listened to Toph and tried to imagine you cursing her for just trying to talking with you, and he just couldn't. You were such good friends with everybody, especially Toph since she wasn't into girly things, neither were you. Both of you were so close that once he found out you two playing in the mud. Toph throwing mud at you with her earthbending and you with your waterbending. You just were Toph's best friend. Why would you treat her so badly out of nowhere?

"Thanks for the information, I think..." The prince said indecisively. He didn't know what to say since he noticed that Toph was lying about not caring about your mood change.

"It's was a pleasure talking to you, Sparky. Sadly I can't say the same about Y/n."

                                            ☆

"Are you sure she did that?" Aang was brushing Appa's fur while listening to Zuko talk about your weird attitude with Toph.

"Yes. And Toph was really mad. More than usual." The prince couldn't forget the eartbender's expressions as she talked about you. It was a mix of anger and deception.

"Maybe Y/n ate something bad?"

"But Sokka said that it was dangerous to go in her tent. I don't think it's food poisoning." Zuko also couldn't forget Sokka's serious expression. If it were in another context, it would be hilarious.

"Sokka and Katara had a strange fever not long ago." The airbender finally finished brushing Appa. The sky bison looked joyful. "They said strange things and couldn't do anything alone. Maybe it could be it."

"And how the fever stopped?"

"Well..." Aang let out a nervous chuckle. "They had to suck some frozen frogs."

"FROZEN WHAT-'' Zuko's eyes widened.

"MAYBE SHE ISN'T SICK, I DON'T KNOW!"

"HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO FIND FROZEN FROGS HERE?" Zuko was already thinking about the worst.

"HOLY SHIT! CAN'T YOU ASSHOLES STOP SCREAMING? YOU'RE HURTING MY EARS!" Toph appeared out of nowhere while complaining and covering her ears.

"Why you guys keep using these bad words in front of Appa and Momo?" Aang asked in a withered tone. "They're innocent creatures..."

                                           ☆

Zuko was hopeless. Nobody seemed to be able to explain what was wrong with you and the list of people he could ask was almost over. There was only one person left.

"Katara." He called but she didn't seem to hear.

The waterbender was kneeling on the edger of a river while washing some clothes and sheets. She would submerge the fabrics in the water, rub them, and then dry them with her waterbending. Being a waterbending master had its advantages. She always used her bending in everyday activities, making things a thousand times easier. It was impossible not to look at her and not to be amazed at how easily she connected with the water and managed to manipulate it.

But then Zuko noticed that one of the sheets was different from the others. It had a red stain on it.

"Is this blood?"

Katara almost jumped after hearing that question. Because she was distracted, she hadn't noticed when the prince had approached much less he had called her and now she had been caught with that incriminating sheet in hand. And not any incriminating sheet, it was your incriminating sheet.

"B-Blood? I don't know what you're talking about!" Katara quickly hid the sheet behind her.

Zuko tried not to roll his eyes. He might be trying to become a better person, but that didn't mean he would accept to be made a fool of.

"I can still see the sheet behind you." He just said in a bored tone.

Katara blushed. She hated to lie but she hated to be caught in the lie the most.

"Sorry." She stopped trying to hide the cloth. "I didn't want you to see that."

"Why not?" Zuko looked again at the red stain. Now he was absolutely sure it was blood.

"It's kinda embarrassing to explain..." She returned to clean the sheet, focused on making the red stain disappear.

"I won't judge, I promise." Zuko reassured.

"It's a woman thing. Usually, we don't want people to notice when we are on our period, you know?"

"Oh."

As the stain started to dissolve and vanish in the river's stream, Zuko's mind clicked. Your period. Of course! How could he be so dumb? He felt his face starting to redden.

"So, Y/n is..."

"Yes, that's why I'm washing this." She lifted the sheet that now was wet. "But even if we try to be careful, accidents do happen. "And with a simple movement, she removed the water from the sheet, drying it in the process.

"Accidents, right." Zuko just pretended to agree. He understood generally what being on period meant, but that was all he knew. Part of him was never really interested in knowing more about it, but another part never had access to it, since the subject was considered taboo by most part of women. "I suppose it's impossible to be careful enough."

Katara immediately noticed how he didn't seem to know much of what they were talking about and a playful smile quickly appeared on her lips.

"You know you're not fooling anyone, are you?"

"What do you-"

"Zuko, it's okay to not know about things." The waterbender assured him. Her smile wasn't playful anymore. It switched to a tender one.

"I-I-" The prince started to blush again. He really wanted to understand more about theses "girly things" and how he could make you feel better but it was just so difficult to ask. "I don't-"

"Don't worry. I won't tease you." Katara started to get up with the basket of clean clothes in hand.

Zuko looked away, focusing on the camp before answering. The prince imagined you trapped in that tent, acting in that moody way for a reason you couldn't control. He really wanted to help you, and if that meant he had to go over all his shame and male pride, he would.

"Fine. " He answered while pinching the bridge of his nose. "But don't tell Sokka."

"Why would I-"

"Don't tell Toph either."

"But why-"

"Actually, don't tell anyone."

                                          ☆

Today your period was getting the best of you. Your mood was shit. You had been turning over all night because of hellish cramps so it was expected that you wanted to sleep until later. But then when Toph, who was unaware of your situation, tried to talk to you, you were extremely rude to her. Actually, even if you tried to tell Toph that you were on your period, she wouldn't understand since she hadn't had her first yet, but you still had no right to curse her just for saying hi.

As if it were a punishment from the universe, you realized that you had stained one of the sheets that you had used that night. Furthermore, your horrible cramps had returned. Thankfully Katara came to your rescue, helping you a little with the pain and offering to wash the tragic sheet.

Now, after all the events, you didn't quite know what you wanted to do. Sure, you wanted to apologize to Toph, but you were afraid of what to do if your mood changed again.  Your body was limp, your breasts were swollen and your back hurt a lot. Everything told you not to get up. So, that's what you did.

You were almost asleep again when you felt someone entering the tent. Thinking it was Toph, you automatically sat down and started to apologize.

"I know that nothing I say will change what I did, but I really-" You stopped talking when you noticed it wasn't your best friend that was in front of you, it was the guy that you liked. "Zuko?"

"Sorry for entering without asking." He said with an apologetic look. "Can I stay here?"

"I would love you to stay but... " You really wanted his presence there, but you were afraid to be rude to him too. And he was the last person you wanted to make a bad impression on. " I'm not very well today."

"I know."

"You... know?" You asked in a slightly nervous way, but you tried to disguise it.

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking as nervous as you were. "But I don't mind."

You seemed to be even more nervous than before. Being alone with him always made you unquiet, but imagining that he might know about your period made you want to bury your face in the ground and disappear. You knew it was normal to menstruate and it was stupid to perpetuate the idea that guys shouldn't know when you were or weren't on your period, but the thought of talking about it with him scared you.

You tried to say a few things, but the words died in your throat. The fear that the guy you liked so much thought you were disgusting made you so apprehensive that you didn't even know what to say.

He noticed your apprehension almost immediately.

"I-I bought you something!" Zuko started looking for something inside a small bag he had with him and it was the first time that you had noticed its existence.

When the prince finally found what you were looking for, you realized it was a very poorly wrapped up packet.

"You didn't need to-"

"It's chocolate. Katara said it could help." He handed the packet to you without looking you in the eye.

As you started to open it, you saw different bars of chocolate. One of white chocolate, one of dark chocolate, one with chestnuts and one with an extremely reddish color. Some of them were a little broken and melted, but most of them were fine.

"I didn't know which flavor you like the most, so I bought one of each." You felt your ears burn just by imagining him buying all that for you.

"Where did you-"

"I borrowed Appa to go to the nearest market." He answered. "But they ended up getting kind of..." You tried not to laugh at his frustrated face.

Your shame was gradually going away. He didn't think you were disgusting because you were on your period. In fact, he was worried to the point of taking a mini trip and buying sweets for you. And he even tried to wrap them up, though he clearly failed. Imagining him doing all that for you made your heart warmer to the point of making you cry. Your mood change was taking the best out of you again.

Zuko's eyes widened as soon as he noticed your tears.

"I-I'm sorry! I-" He started to get up. "I'll leave you alone!''

You quickly held him by the wrist while letting out a laugh. Your tears salted your mouth as you giggled, but you didn't care. Meanwhile, Zuko was staring at you with an extremely confused expression.

"I'm happy, you dork."

"But why are you crying?" He looked so worried that you almost felt guilty for laughing at him.

"Period things. I'm fine, really." You said while whipping your tears away. "Now sit here with me. I'm curious about this red one."

Zuko sighed with relief and sat next to you with his legs crossed. You stopped holding his wrist, being surprised at how brave you were to do something like this. You were the kind of person who got embarrassed just by touching him in the shoulder. Even when training with him, you would get disconcerted by the smallest things.

"It's a Fire Nation traditional chocolate." He broke a piece of the chocolate and offered it to you. "I thought you might want to try it."

You took the bizarrely red piece from his hand and tried not to sweat.

"I hope this isn't too spicy." But when you ate the piece, your fear came true. "ZUKO!"

"WHAT!" He practically jumped.

"WATER!" You screamed as you felt your tongue burning.

The prince started turning over all the sheets until he finally found a canteen lost in a corner of the tent. You didn't even wait for him to deliver it to you. You took the canteen from his hands and drank the water until you felt the burning sensation cease.

When you finally managed to stabilize your breathing after drinking so much water, you faced him. Zuko was sweating bullets.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked worriedly.

"It was an outstanding experience." You replied with a grin. "But I prefer not to try it again."

"Yeah, I won't buy this one for you the next time."

"Next time?" You couldn't ignore his statement. What did he mean by next time?

"Ah..."

Zuko started to blush again. Every time he started talking about things he had done for you or how he wanted to be with you, his face turned red, almost like a tomato. However, you couldn't hear his answer since your cramps have returned, making you lean forward and hold your belly.

"Hey, are you-"

"Cramps. Awful ones." You replied, still holding your belly. Your cramps were rougher than usual, so you laid down. "Sorry for ruining the mood."

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault. "

You were unable to agree or disagree with him. Your pain was so intense that you couldn't focus on anything. The guy of your dreams was on your side and you couldn't even look at him.

Suddenly, you felt something hot thing land on your belly. It was hot, but not enough to hurt you. It was cozy and made your pain lower little by little. You only came to understand what it was when the heat moved and you recognized the shape of a hand, a male hand.

"Katara said that heat can help with the pain." Zuko said as he slid his hand over your belly. "Do you feel better?"

"Yes." A pleased expression appeared in your face. "It feels nice."

"Good. I've never done this before." He stated.

"What about Mai?" You asked curiously, trying to not sound jealous. He was being so supportive that you couldn't help but imagine him trying to please his ex-girlfriend in every single way.

"Mai hardly commented on how she felt. Even when she was more... Er... Sensitive- "Zuko cleared his throat. "She was no different. It's not like I never wanted to help, but she never allowed me to be close enough.

"I see." You imagined him trying to get closer and Mai pushing him away. You felt sad for him. "Well, I feel happy for being the first one." Shyly, you put your hand over his. "I'll give you a lot of work to make up for it."

A smile lit up his face. His smile was the most beautiful thing in the world, and it was becoming more common as he spent more time with you and the rest of the Gaang.

"Am I supposed to be afraid?" He replied provocatively.

"Women in their period can be the most dangerous thing, you know."

"Yeah, Sokka said so."

"Sokka what?"

Taglist: @bucky-blogs @dekahg @eridanuswave @the-firebender-girl

People who were interested but I don’t if I could tag them: @unfortunateshelby @little-wankenobi @theblueslytherin @creepytoes88​ @http-peter-parker​

I don’t think this was my best work since I don’t feel really secure with portraying Zuko as a boyfriend yet. I’m not really sure about how he expresses love since he had so many problematic relationships and I don’t think he would be the perfect guy who would know everything about dating and stuff. I also don’t think he would say his feelings out loud. He looks more practical to me but not too practical. To me, he’s probably shy with this stuff. 

Please, give me feedback if I portraited him well as a boyfriend even if he wasn’t your boyfriend in this imagine.

English isn’t my native language so it might have mistakes.

I needed to write this since my period is still killing me.