#my favorite past time is wearing my sp shirts

[writerleo86]

Terravenger - Season 5: Part Two - The Cyberian Empire Planetary War Arc - Episode 428 (Do Not Copy)

   On an old stool which was at the long porch of a small wooden house was a man wearing a black shirt with a long collar and short sleeves. He had on a pair of long black pants and black sandals. He also wore an opened light-blue kimono-robe with long white clouds all over. A large yellow sun was drawn on the top left side of its front. And he had a large hat made completely of straw on the top of his head.

   Walking toward the porch was a determined Anna Blair. She was an older woman with light skin, blue-green eyes, and a slender body. She had on black eyeliner and pink lipstick. And her long blond hair was made into a high bun while the front parts were down. She wore a sleeveless pale-pink shirt with a thick collar. And the standard MAF navy-blue flak-jacket was worn over it. She also had on a pair of tight light-blue jeans and brown open-toed boots. And she had two different-colored bracelets around each wrist.

   Standing by her right side was Engana Vega. She had light skin, bright blue eyes, and a skinny but well-built body. And her long silver hair was tied into a high pony-tail. She had on a sleeveless pale-violet top with tight khaki jeans, a thick brown belt, and short dark-brown boots. And her MAF badge was placed on the front left side of her top.

   The man soon spotted them and stood up slowly.

   "Kenshin Kaio?" called Vega.

   The man walked a few steps away from his porch as Vega implied "The old merchant said we'd find you here."

   "Who are you?" The man asked in a soft voice.

   And he spotted the golden badge worn on Vega.

   "You are from the Midas Armed Forces?" He asked.

   Next, Vega walked a few steps forward.

   "I'm Doctor Engana Vega," She introduced herself. "I'm a graduate of Midas and a medical researcher."

   "Really?" questioned the man. "What are you doing in these parts?"

   Anna walked toward Vega and introduced herself.

   "Hello. My name is Anna Blair. I work as a reporter for Terra-Works in Midas City."

   "Of course you are," The man replied. "I should have recognized you immediately. I have many of your books. You have an impressive resume."

   "You read my columns?" asked Anna.

   "Indeed," answered the man. "I have nothing but time here. You are one of my favorite writers. I love all of your stories and documentaries. But my favorite book that you wrote... It is about your entire family and the connections you have made with many people in Midas City."

   "Enough of this!"

   Vega continued to face him as she responded "We all know you ain't just a fisherman and cook! We know the truth about you!"

   "The truth?" questioned the man. "Do you?"

   Anna informed him "My friend is correct. You may be a lowly fisherman now. But in the past, you were something more."

   "We need answers!" Vega told the fisherman. "You seem to be the only one that got them! And we need them now!"

   The mysterious man stared at the soldier for a moment. After that, he took off his large straw hat and revealed himself. He appeared as an Asian man with a thin beard and a pair of clear blue eyes.

   "Cut the shit!" Vega ordered. "Just tell us your name! Your real name!"

   And Anna responded "Before you lived in these forests, you stayed in Violet City which is on Planet Marinear Bay for a little while. But you did worked as a detective for SP."

   "SP," described Vega. "That stands for the Space Police Department."

   Anna shook her head and continued.

   "You were also an Armor Champion who helped save Marinear Bay from a force of evil. You have another secret however. Yes, you have a secret which you have hidden from everyone including those closest to you. You as well as your own sister were in fact kidnapped by a certain person. She had made you both into bio-androids."

   The man slowly dropped his hat to the ground.

   "Your friends who lived in Violet City were all Armor Champions," said Anna. "You did tell them that you were a bio-android. But you never mentioned about your true origin. You... You and your sister know who -- or rather what -- we on this planet are facing now. And only you know the way to defeat them."

   "Alexis Sanyo," implied Vega. "She's the one who found you on this planet. She knew your situation. You asked her to give you a new identity."

   The concerned man lowered his head and answered "The Purple Lady, yes. I asked her not to tell anybody that I came to this planet. And she did help me take on a new identity."

   "The Armor Champions still believe that you are dead," Anna told him. "It has been the same way for many years. And these people... These machines... They had laid in secret as well. But now, they have awakened and entered this planet. They have killed many innocents, some were my friends."

   "So they have come," responded the fisherman. "She has awakened. And now she wants revenge on this planet."

   "She?" repeated Vega.

   "The Queen," The man answered. "Well, that's what they all call her. But to me, she was just a mad scientist that took Kylie and myself as children from our home in Asia."

   "I was correct after all?" questioned Anna.

   The man faced the two women and replied "Yes, I am the one you are looking for. And I may be able to help you with this."

   He shook his head with a soft smile and told them "I was a first-class detective for the Space Police Department of this sector. My name... My name is Rico Nonaka."

Terravenger -- Season 5: Part Two -- Episode 428:  The Great War -- Two New Challengers

   Behind the Griffith Elementary School, the army of students from the Midas Academy became shocked as they spotted a figure standing at the other side while surrounded by a larger swarm of the cybernetic drones.

   A stricken Paige McCormack stared at the newcomer while tears started falling from her eyes.

   "No!" She cried. "It cannot be you!"

   The newcomer appeared as a young girl with great skin and a slender body. She had long black hair with the front cut. And a red light shined from her right eye while a small mechanical implant covered the left eye. She wore a pair of tight black leggings with a thin golden belt. She had on short black boots and a golden medallion around her neck with a small red jewel attached at the center. She also wore a silver top covering the top of her chest. And a large silver block was placed at the center of the top with the number 6 written in red. She also had a long steel gauntlet placed around each wrist.

   Akari stood at the right side of Paige as she cried in fear "No way it could be her!"

   "Those bastards!" called a disgusted Cassidy.

   Both she and Iris remained by their leader's left side while more from the Paigettes stood with them.

   "They got her," said Iris. "Those machines! They must have stolen her body after they killed her in front of us!"

   And Paige in pain called out "Cleo?"

   The female cyborg aimed her right fist forward. Then a small pistol rose from her wrist as Cleo faced the students with no emotion.

   "I am here for your vessels," She said in a calm voice. "I, Model Number Six of Nine, will bring your bodies to her. And you will all become part of the Collective."

   And she fired a small ball of cold-blue energy which blew toward the frozen Paige.

   Someone soon appeared from a quick flash to the front of an emotional Paige and revealed themselves.

   It was the quirky teacher, Kirk Tucson. He wore a black shirt with blue on both its short sleeves and the top. He had on a pair of silver pants and white boots. He also had on an opened gray coat with the long left sleeve colored blue while the other sleeve was gray. A large gray mountain with white snow at the top was printed on the front left side of his coat. And he wore his MAF badge on the middle of the mountain design.

   Tucson placed the fingers from his left hand on the small projectile that flew closer.

   "Ki Limelight!" He called in a cheerful voice.

   A small globe of green light quickly formed around the blue projectile. And the globe which floated above them had shined until it faded away.

   Then Tucson lowered his hand and faced the young girl.

   "Don't worry about this, Guys," He told the students. "Everything will be taken care of. Just leave it to me."

   "But Cleo!" cried Paige.

   "That is no longer your friend, McCormack," Tucson informed her. "Her body has been taken over by the Machines. She doesn't have a soul anymore."

   The possessed Cleo shot another energy ball from her pistol. Tucson turned to the projectile flying toward him quickly. Then the projectile was negated by a wall of bright green energy that flashed before the teacher.

   Once the projectile from the cyborg faded away, Tucson quickly pushed his right palm forward. And many of the cybernetic drones in front of Cleo were pushed away after a large green light flashed from Tucson's hand.

   Next, Paige hurried to the right side of the teacher. She placed her left palm forward and fired a small ball of golden energy at a drone that walked toward them.

   After that, Paige threw her other hand forward and blew a barrage of her golden balls at the cybernetic drones standing behind the soulless Cleo.

   Then Paige told Tucson "We are not retreating. We will help you fight."

   Iris hurried to them as she yelled "Amnis Acidum!"

   And she blew a large stream of acid to more of the enemies from her mouth.

   Once those drones slowly fell, the possessed Cleo fired a barrage of the cold-blue energy balls at her enemies.

   Paige blew both her hands forward and summoned a barrier of yellow energy around the soldiers including herself.

   "McCormack!" ordered Tucson. "Keep your shield up for a moment!"

   He soon placed his right palm forward.

   "Lightning Release!" He called. "Virides Serpentes!"

   A large stream of lines made of green electricity emerged from the barrier and struck the last set of the cybernetic enemies. And the only enemy left was the cyborg formerly known as Cleo Regal.

   "I apologize for this, Cleo!" Paige responded. "I must do this. And I rather be the one to end your suffering."

   Suddenly, the female cyborg called Six of Nine placed her right hand on the ground.

   And a familiar female voice called out "Paige!"

   Two newcomers hurried to the army of soldiers. And Paige noticed one of them who walked toward her.

   "You got to be kiddin' me!" yelled Cassidy.

   It was the dark youth named Rachel Conners. She had peach skin, brown eyes, and long dark-brown hair. She had on black eyeliner and dark-red lipstick. She wore a sleeveless black outfit that was attached to long black leggings. She had a black pad around each elbow. She also wore a pair of short boots that were made of black leather. And her MAF badge was placed on the front left side of her top.

   The other standing behind Rachel was Lily Manha. She had pale-brown skin, brown eyes, and a slender body. She was also taller than her partner. She had on black eyeliner, brown eye-shadow, and peach lipstick. She wore a black outfit with long leggings and no sleeves. She also had a black bra underneath the top of the outfit along with long black boots. And her MAF badge was placed on the front left side of the top.

   Rachel informed Paige "She is performing a Summoning!"

   "Cleo is bringing out something?" questioned Iris. "Are you sure?"

   "You both do remember..." Rachel replied. "...that Cleopatra and I were once acquainted. While I interacted with her, I was able to study her as a warrior. Cleo was indeed a great fighter. But she also specialized in summoning."

   Then Paige asked "What this machine is performing is what Cleo was able to do?"

   "Correct," Rachel told her. "And we must be ready."

   By the Fitness Gym which was near the Midas Academy, the army of capable soldiers from the Midas Armed Forces all stood along with him as the commander -- Beau Ravenstone -- spotted a new swarm of cybernetic drones marching toward them.

   A stricken Mercury slowly walked toward Beau's right side as he asked "Who is that?"

   They all spotted another figure waling among the army of emotionless cyborgs.

   Beau cried "By the gods! They have gotten to you?"

   This new cyborg appeared as a middle-aged man with bright skin, a well-built body, long dark hair, and a full beard. He had red light coming from his eyes. And he had a small mechanical device implanted on the right side of his forehead. He wore a pair of long black tights with a thick white belt. He had mechanical gauntlets around his wrists, black pads covering his elbows, and black combat boots. Instead of a shirt, he had a large mechanical pad covering his right shoulder. He also had a small silver compartment on the center of his chest that had the number 5 written in red.

   "It cannot be!" implied Mercury. "The machines. They have possession of his body."

   The fearful Laura Griffin wrapped her left hand around her right wrist as she called "Officer Durant?"

   The newcomer now called Five of Nine placed his fists forward as a small pistol rose from each wrist. Then the cyborg began shooting small balls of cold-blue energy from his pistols.

[billnoncipher]

Losing Time

This story is not in my usual continuity, but was written for Wendip Week 2021, topic "Time Travel."

for Wendip Week 2021

---

Mabel faced a hard decision when she called in that favor.

She was nearly thirty, she was a successful clothing designer, she had a steady romantic partner, life was good. But then on a visit to Gravity Falls, she visited the grave of good old Waddles, whose heart had given out the previous winter, while she was off in New York.

And she hadn't been able to say goodbye.

And despite the fact that she was all grown up and everything, it ripped at her heart—that she hadn't said farewell to her most favorite pet of all time. It wasn't that he hadn't been well cared for—Soos saw to that, giving the pig all the comforts and plenty of food. It wasn't that he was cut off in his youth—seventeen is a good long life for a pig. It's just that—

Well, now she knew how Dipper felt.

Speaking of whom.

Dipper and Wendy were coming up on their tenth wedding anniversary, they had adorable twins, age six, names Alexander and Amanda, and they lived in the Mystery Shack. Grunkles Stan and Ford still technically owned the place, and Soos ran it, but over the years he and Melody had expanded it until their own growing family caused Soos to have a separate house built just across the road, and he and his family of six—he, Melody, Benny, Betty, Alma, and little Stanley—had made the short move. Dipper had inherited Grunkle Ford's role as investigator of the weird, Wendy was a nationally-known consultant on forestry issues, and they took over the living space that Soos had left vacant.

Ford, now semi-retired, still came over to work with Dipper down in the secret labs when some project was afoot. Grunkle Stan came over to help when the Shack was swamped with tourists in vacation season, but he spent a lot of his time visiting casinos all over the world, where his odd luck always brought him a steady income.

The attic bedroom had become disused.

"Can I stay?" Mabel asked in a small voice just at sunup that day. "Just for a couple weeks?"

"Sure, Mabes!" Wendy said. "Any time, you know that."

Dipper, now sporting a goatee and wearing glasses to correct mild myopia, said, "Sis, what's wrong?"

With a sad smile, Mabel said, "You can tell, huh? Just getting all sentimental. Missing Waddles."

"Oh," Dipper said. "That. We're sorry you couldn't make it back in January."

"It was so unexpected," Wendy said. "He was OK, you know, kinda slow and sleepy all the time, and then one morning we found him in his stall. He'd passed in his sleep."

"He was comfortable to the end," Dipper said. "The heat was on. He didn't freeze or anything. He looked peaceful."

"We buried him down the hill," Wendy told her. "Come on, we'll walk you down."

The place was pretty, a small clearing off to the right of the Mystery Trail. Grass had greened the mound, dewy now with the dawn, and—Mabel couldn't help sobbing—Dipper and Wendy had put up a marker, one of those you could buy for a cherished dog or cat. It read,

---

WADDLES

2012-2029

Always Loved

---

"Could you just leave me here for a few minutes?" asked Mabel.

Dipper hugged her. "Sure, Sis," he said. "Take y our time."

Wendy hugged her, too. "You gave him a good life," she said.

When the two had left, Mabel took a deep breath and took something that looked like a thick button from her jeans pocket. She held it between finger and thumb, close to her lips, and said, "OK, Blendin Blandin, you owe me one."

And without fuss, explosions, or special-effects noise, he was there, beside her, in his old uniform. "M-Ma-Mabel," he said, smiling. "Hi. It's be-been a wh-while."

"Yeah," she said. "You're looking—exactly the same. How's Time Baby?"

"Te-te-teething," Blendin said with a grimace. "The ne-next thou-thousand years are go-gonna be hard. I gu-guess you want your fa-favor now?"

"I do," she said. "Waddles passed away last January. I don't want to bring him back to life or anything. I've learned better than that. But I didn't get to see him before he went, and I really want to visit him one last time. So—could I borrow a time tape?"

"I pro-promised," he said. "I always carry a sp-spare these da-days. Here."

"And I also need your advice," Mabel said, accepting the heavy time-travel device. "I want to visit Waddles on the happiest day of his whole life."

"You-you'll have to a-avoid meeting yourself," Blendin warned. "That would be cat-cata-catas—bad."

"Agreed," she said.

"Let me find out how to se-set the co-coordinates, then," he said. "Just a se-second."

He blinked out of existence for just three seconds, then reappeared, slapping at his hair, which was smoldering. "Th-that was two we-weeks of hard wo-work!" he said. "Lucky this-this is m-my va-vacation month. OK, I've reviewed Wa-Waddles' s li-life and this will ta-take you to the ex-exact day when he was happiest. You can ha-have the wh-whole day, or eight hours any-anyway, bu-but remember to a-avoid me-meeting yourself."

"Will do."

Blendin set the time tape, warned, "It will br-bring you ba-back to the present automatically. Ha-have a g-good time-tr-trip."

The strange noiseless explosion, a moment of spinning disorientation, and poof! there she was, at the edge of the woods behind the Shack. The sun was just rising.

"Out you go," she heard a girl's voice say from the back door.

She saw a rectangle of yellow light. Oh, my God, that's me, in my old sleep shirt! I'm twelve! I'm so young!

Her younger self held the door for Waddles—He's so cute and tiny!—and the pig stepped out, sniffed the air, and waddled over close to the woods to take care of his morning business.

Let's see. I always let him out, then had breakfast, then called him back in, so I have about half an hour before I have to duck out of sight.

"Waddles," she called softly.

He heard and galumphed over to her. He knew her. Her different size, her different voice, didn't matter. She scooped him up. "Oh, I love you!" she said as he curled into a ball and nuzzled her cheek. "Let's go for a walk."

She set him down, and they went down the Mystery Trail, past the Bottomless Pit—not yet fenced off—and as far as the bonfire clearing, where she sat on a log and played with him, laughing through tears. "I'm gonna have to say goodbye, later," she whispered. "But remember, no matter what, I'll always love you!"

Too soon she heard her own younger voice calling, probably for the second time and more loudly, "Waddles!"

"Go on," she told the pig, patting his bottom. He trotted back to the other Mabel, his Mabel.

What day is this? Mabel wondered. What day made him happiest?

She sat too long. Someone spoke, startling her. "Whoops, sorry, didn't know anybody was here!"

Wendy.

Mabel stood up. "I was just, uh—I used to come here when I was a girl—" she began.

"Mabel?" Wendy asked, blinking and staring. "Mabel? Is that you?"

"Haven't changed all that much, have I?" she asked. "Oh, my God, you're so young! Can—can I hug you?"

She was a little bit taller than the fifteen-year-old Wendy, who would add a few inches to her height in the next two years. Mabel couldn't help crying again. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to let anyone see me. Time travel. I came back to—to visit Waddles."

"Oh, man," Wendy said. "Dipper's told me about this kind of stuff! Come on back to the Shack and surprise him!"

"No, I can't," Mabel said. "Don't even tell him you met me. That would cause problems with time."

"Oh."

Something in Wendy's voice hit her then. "Uh—what's wrong, Wendy?"

"Just—just the end of summer," Wendy faltered. "I—I hate that you and Dip are goin' home today."

Oh, my God! Of course! Waddles thought I was gonna leave him, and I nearly had to, but Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford made the bus driver take him aboard—of course he was happiest on that day!

"Oh, yeah," Mabel said. "Our birthday was yesterday. We turned thirteen."

"Technical teens," Wendy said with a ghost of a grin. A tear ran down her cheek.

"But you don't have to cry," Mabel said.

"I—I guess I can tell you a secret," Wendy said. She sat on the log, and Mabel sat beside her. "See, Dipper admitted to me a while back that he has a crush on me. I already knew, but I had to let him down. You know, me fifteen, him twelve. But now he's going away, and I'll never see him again, and—I just can't tell him I'm kinda-sorta in love with him, too. It's hard, Mabel."

Mabel bit her lip. "Listen," she said. "I may get in big trouble because of this, but—OK, I'm gonna say it. You gotta give Dipper a note. Have all his friends here sign it. You sign it, too. Here's the most important part—write on it 'See you next summer.' And wait for him. He'll come back. And he'll grow up, Wendy. And if you wait for him—it's gonna happen. I promise. Just stay in touch, and—most important—when the time comes, the age difference won't mean a thing."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Trust me, I know. OK, I've got a few hours today. I'm gonna stay close to the Shack and get in as much time with Waddles as I can. Then I'm going back to the future, and thirteen-year-old Mabel and Dipper are going back to Piedmont. But he doesn't just have a crush, Wendy. He really and truly loves you. So write the note, give it to him before he gets on the bus, and things will all work out. Promise me?"

"Yeah. I promise."

"Oh—and tell Grunkle Stan that when the time comes for us to leave, to make sure Waddles gets on the bus, too! I—Oh, I love you like a sister, Wendy! You won't believe how happy you're gonna be with Dip."

"That—that means a lot to me, Mabes," Wendy whispered.

"OK, you'd better get back. Don't say anything to anyone about this. Be sure to do the note thing. Oh, and Wendy—do me one more favor?"

"Sure, what?"

"Tell Pacifica that Mabel's waiting—in the future. Don't explain."

"All right," Wendy said with a lopsided smile. "I'll do it." She mimed zipping her lip.

The day passed. Out of her eight hours, Mabel spent about three in Waddles's company as her brother and her younger self got ready to leave Gravity Falls. She spent more time standing out of sight, watching things unfold—finally the kids coming out, glum, with their suitcases, the bus pulling up, Dipper and Mabel and—finally—Waddles climbing aboard. And all their friends running as far as they could to see the twins and the pig off.

She stood alone near the Shack. The flash came. Benjamin stood there. "How d-did it go?"

"It went good," Mabel said, handing over the time tape. "I said goodbye." She sniffled and a tear ran down her cheek. "I'll still miss him but I—I can handle it now. Uh, how much time has gone by while I—?"

"A m-minute," Blendin said. "Well, I-I g-guess we're e-even."

"Thanks, Blendin. Goodbye."

"N-no, I d-don't think it's g-goodbye," he said, smiling. "I'll s-see you again. In time."

He flashed out of existence.

"Aunt Mabel!" It was red-headed Amanda, running down the hill to meet her. "Hi!"

Mabel swept her up in her arms. "Hi, Sweetie! Where's your bro-bro?"

Squirming, Amanda laughed. "He can't find his shoes!"

Carrying the six-year old up the hill to the Shack, Mabel laughed. "When your dad was six, he had the same problem! All the time! Every morning!" She paused and looked back at the green grave. "Hey, let me tell you a story about the most special pig in the whole world," she said, and they went back to join the family.

---

The End

[gintokisimp]

If you don’t have a Past, you can’t have a Future - Ch. 2 Morning Stories

It’s a normal weekend morning in the Sakata household. Or is it really that normal?

Genre: Fluff, Family, Light Sexual Content

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 2,199

Small fingers wrapped around Gintoki's fingertip. He bent down to examine the toddler under the blankets, but he didn’t recognize it. The child was none of his. Short white hair framed the chubby face and light grey eyes stared up to him. 

Grey eyes?

Who has grey eyes? He had never seen that before, what an unnatural color..

..come to think of it.. Red and Purple aren’t normal colors either. 

The toddler opened it’s teethless mouth and when it laughed, it sounded like birds singing a heavenly melody.  

Crickets chirping disrupted his dream. 

Gintoki opened his eyes fully. He still always tries to sleep as long as possible, but he just wasn't a long sleeper anymore.

Tsukuyo was already working in the kitchen, preparing the family's breakfast. The sound of rattling plates and faint music from downstairs crept into the bedroom.

Gintoki sat up, and looked out of the open window. It was a sunny morning and the fresh air brushed his face, carrying the smell and noises of late summer. It had been a hot summer, but gladly, they were able to afford air conditioning, when the house extension was built. It made the summers so much more endurable. 

The beautiful atmosphere refreshed his thoughts, but the dream didn’t leave his mind. Maybe he was just mixing things up, dreams tend to work like that. 

He scrambled out of the sheets and put on some black jogging pants and a simple grey shirt. Settling down with a family meant he could finally have a bigger variety of clothes. However that works. 

Gintoki slouched through the open door down the stairs to the office living room hybrid and entered the kitchen. It had previously been his bedroom, but now it was the perfect room for a spacious cooking paradise. They really enjoyed cooking together. It was almost like a family ritual, baking all kinds of sweet stuff (mostly strawberry flavored of course) with the kids and eating it downstairs in the cozy bar with the rest of the family.  

She was wearing a fluffy morning robe, her short hair pinned up in a messy ponytail, skin rosy from her morning shower, looking as divine as ever. 

Tsukuyo tiptoed busily through the room, quickly glanced at him and gave him a warm smile. 

That damn bewitching smile.

He fell for that a long time ago, still remembering it clearly. He worshipped it when she looked at him like that, she could kill him with her smile alone. Generally speaking, he worshipped her with his entire existence. 

Gintoki hurriedly closed the gap between them and caught her in her movements, wrapping his arms around her waist. She was emitting a warmth that he loved so much about her.

"Good morning, honey."

Humming to the sound of the music, Gintoki swayed with the rhythm. She sighed in response and leaned into him while she continued to prepare the breakfast. His lips found her neck and she gasped. 

"Could ya wake up the kids?"

Tsukuyo muttered through her lips. 

"mhmh.."

He held her a little bit tighter, pushed her lightly against the counter and faintly rocked against her backside. His mouth hovered over her neck, breathing against it, and he felt a shiver going down her spine.  Jackpot! that always worked to get her in the mood. He laughed quietly before he continued his teasing.

"Could ya.. ya do it.. now?" She stuttered.

"Yea,.. sure." 

Gintoki whispered in a breathy tone and his lips latched onto her neck again, eliciting a surprised sigh from her mouth.

"Gintoki.." She called out weakly. „That’s not what I meant.“ 

His hands left her hip and moved upwards, following her round curves and finally, they rested over her breasts. Tenderly, he started kneading them and dragged his thumb over her already stiffened buds which he could feel through the soft fabric. Tsukuyo moaned softly and closed her eyes.

His lips left her skin and instead, he ran his tongue along her delicate neck and -

"Papi what are you doing?"

Gintoki stopped like a deer hit by the headlights, his eyes wide open, hands on her boobs, tongue on her neck. He looked over to see the twins Ginga and Mizuki standing hand in hand in the doorframe. The hormones really got the best of him that he tried to seduce her so carelessly in broad daylight, but she was also completely obliterated. The new set of lingerie was still ghosting through his mind, that kind of made him go stupid.

Conclusion: It wasn’t his fault. 

"I .. I.. uhm.. I'm helping Mami make breakfast."

"But why are ya licking her f’ that?"

Gintoki let go of Tsukuyo and awkwardly walked over to them and kneeled down in front of them.

"You see, when Mami and Papi love each other, they do things like that while making breakfast. It’s normal, it’s completely normal!" He said in a serious tone. Gintoki thought for a millisecond and added something else. 

"..and Mami likes that." 

A spatula hit him on the back of his head like a deadly weapon and he fell face first to the floor. At least she stopped using Kunais on him a long time ago. She might be worried to lose the father if she continued to pierce his brain with sharp metal. 

"Idiot."

Tsukuyo mocked him and Gintoki lifted his upper body to glare at her. 

"Hey, no violence in front of the kids! Besides that, you could use that for something better than throwing it at me, you could sp-”

Another kitchen utensil hit him and knocked him over again. This time, he stayed on the floor, only inelegantly rolling on his back. 

“Mizuki, Ginga.. could you please visit Granny for a few minutes until the food is ready?”

“Yes!” They chirped in unison and immediately ran out of the room. 

He still was surprised how obedient they were. He didn’t know where they got it from, definitely not from him. Gintoki sat up and looked at Tsukuyo. She was back to her business, her back facing him. That was his chance. He jumped up. 

"They're gone, now let's make it quick. I'm ready." 

Gintoki already fumbled on his pants but Tsukuyo whacked him in the head when he reached her.

"Owww, I already told ya that's the wrong place." 

He held his head and pouted, lookin at her with fake puppy eyes. She didn’t fall for it. 

"Ya still an idiot."

"Can you blame me though? I'm just an ugly man with an absolutely beautiful wife." 

Gintoki grumbled angrily, crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the kitchen counter.

Tsukuyo blushed furiously. Even though they were married for so many years now, she still blushed like a tsundere high school girl and he liked that. It was also fairly easy to achieve that, but she could do that to him just as easily.

"Ya think I'm beautiful?" She asked quietly.

Gintoki's anger evaporated and he looked at her visibly confused.

"uh.. of course? Didn't I say that enough times already? I can say it a few more times if you wanna hear that again."

"I.. I just thought as I'm getting older, I'm.." She suddenly stopped in the middle of her sentence, averting her face from him. 

"You.. ?"

"..forget it"

"You're joking, right? You must be joking. Have you ever looked at yourself?"

“I have and yer just blinded.” She whispered. 

“Blinded by what?! I love  you , not your looks!”

“So you hate how I look?” Her eyes found his, watery, shining.  Fuck. 

“What?? No! That’s not what I meant, you’re beautiful, stunning, gorgeus.. fuck, I’m out of words.”

“..okay.”

“If I do not literally love everything about you, do you think I would be standing here right now? Do you think we had some little brats running around  our home?”

“I - I’m not sure.”

“I’m gonna tattoo that on your arm if you keep questioning my endless love for you!”

"But..also.. we.. we are not really a fan favorite" She shyly crossed her arms in front of her chest and turned away again.

"Wh - What're you talking about?" Gintoki was genuinely confused now.  Fan favorite?

"The polls are always full of pairings with you.. and.. I .. only reached 11th place"

Gintoki understood. He never gave a single fuck about any of those rankings, expect the offical character popularity polls, where he always ends up first. That was important as a protagonist. But everything else? Trivial. 

"You reached 11th place? We reached 11th place and it doesn't matter as long as I can be by your side."

She tensed up a little.

"I don't give a single fuck about any fan polls. Our pairing can end up in the last place, but in the end, I won you. I couldn't ask for more"

Gintoki pulled her in his arms and she gasped in surprise. 

"You're my goddess, Tsukki. My literal moon goddess."

"Stop." Tsukuyo frowned.

"You're my moon in the darkest night. Always shining on my path."

“Stop.” She whispered, blushing slightly. 

“With you, I never have to walk alone.”

Tsukuyo hit him weakly. 

“I worship you, I pray to you every day and I still hope that one day the goddess will step down from the heavens and never leave my side.”

She giggled. 

“I’m already here you idiot.”

“Tsukuyo, I don’t know what’s wrong today, but I hope I can make your day better.”

"Save that sweet talk for the bedroom." She laughed in her sweetest voice and pushed him away. 

"Now go and get the kids back, why did you even send them downstairs?"

"You know exactly why." Gintoki said suggestively.  

“Now gimme a kiss.”

He pulled her back in his arms and covered her lips with his, his hands started to roam over her back, resting on her bottom. Tsukuyo smiled and slightly leaned back to escape his desires. 

"But you still have another child" She whispered and Gintoki’s eyes flung open. He let go of her, caught red handed for the second time today. Tsukuyo pointed behind him with a smile and Gintoki turned around. 

Tsukishiro stood in the middle of the neighboring room and looked over to them, uninterested, exploring the depths of his nose. He was already neatly dressed in the white haori with the blue swirls. It was way too long for him, but he refused to get it shortened. 

He was an early bird and always reasonable and tidy. That was one of the things he got from Tsukuyo. He was like the perfect mix, but at the same time, he was not. 

Reluctantly, Gintoki let go of his wife and sighed. 

“Fine, we will do it later,.. promise?”

“Promise.” 

She held out her pinky and Gintoki hooked it with his own pinky. It only added to the crackling tension between and he quickly retreated. Tsukuyo gave him another smile and he turned around to meet his son in the living room. 

“Morning Kishi.” 

Gintoki patted the boy's fluffy hair and he kneeled down to get to his level. 

"Did you hear what I said to her?" He whispered into the child's ear. 

"Of course, I'm not deaf." He bluntly replied. 

Gintoki paused, he felt his face heating up. 

Don’t get embarrassed in front of your kids, what are you, a lousy virgin?!

..wait -

What are you, a lousy single father who mourns over his late wife and tries to get approval from his kids to date another woman?

"Don't loose a word over it."

“I never planned to.”

“Good.”

Such a good boy.

"Now, would you help your mother with the table? I'll be back in a few minutes"

"Sure.”

Tsukishiro lazily made his way over to Tsukuyo ,  hugging her waist tightly. Tsukuyo hummed and caressed his silver locks lovingly without averting her attention from her current task. 

Aw so cute..

Gintoki could melt on the spot. 

The boy suddenly turned his head and glared angrily at Gintoki, his eyes glowing.

If you don’t treat her right, don’t you dare to come close to her. 

Gintoki was dumbfounded for a second. He blinked and everything was back to normal. It was probably just his mind playing some tricks on him. He stumbled to the front door and slipped in his shoes. 

The morning sun on his skin was warm. He knew he would be sweating a lot today. He hated to sweat on his free days. 

Gintoki entered the bar. The twins sat on two chairs, all their attention directed at Otose, who was holding up a DVD. They were listening with wide eyes until they noticed their father entering the establishment. 

“Papi, Granny told us a story about you! A new one!” Mizuki screamed happily and waved at the old woman. 

"Ah good morning Gintoki, I didn't know you were such a philanderer once." She laughed roughly and waved the DVD in her hands.

Philanderer? When..?

"Oi, what's that?" He asked while coming closer. Otose turned the object in her hands and held it in his direction. 

Gintoki looked at the cover and went pale.

"Where.. where did you get that..?"

[tallmadgeandtea]

First Thing in The Morning

Hi everyone! So, this is a scene I wrote late one night on a whim, but it’s become one of my favorites, just because I think it really showcases what I love most about Benjamin and Elizabeth’s relationship, which is the softness they have for each other. It’s not much, and a majority of it is just Elizabeth’s thoughts, but I hope you enjoy it! It takes place right after the events of May 1778, which is my take on a certain situation in season three... 

SS&SP spoilers under the cut!

“Elizabeth,” he whispered, before she left the room, before she let the door close behind her, before she didn’t look back- didn’t look back for the first time in so long, before she had to convince herself he was safe, safe without her, safe without her constantly at his side, jumping at the slightest movement, the slightest stir. Before she left, before she abandoned him. 

Why do you think of it as that? Why are you so attached to him- why do you force yourself to stay at his side? You cannot help him, he does not need you as you need him. You are both trapped- but you may leave.

You have a chance to escape.

Benjamin was chained down to the bed, unable to stand, unable to hold himself upright. Whatever strength he had before- he was strong, strong in the way he carried himself, in the way he walked, in the way he spoke- vanished, taken from him by the greedy hands of the wound, the fever, the infection. She had found herself watching him at times, entranced by the nonverbal display of strength, his held high, one hand on his sword, the other firm at his side as he stood straight. 

He walked like a soldier, a leader. 

But his knees buckled whenever they tried to get him out of bed. But he lay there, looking at her as she crossed the floor, as she edged towards the threshold, out into the narrow hallway and down the narrower stairs.

He was weak.

He was trapped.

Do not allow yourself to be either.

“Elizabeth,” he whispered, before she had the chance to leave, before she let McHenry lead her out of the room, follow her downstairs, out the front door, past the offices- she knew they were watching, waiting for her to leave. Were they excited? Had they been holding their breath since she had forced herself into the house- into that terrible, cramped  bedroom? 

The carriage was waiting to take her back to her house- her father’s house. Could she think of it as her own anymore? What did she own? Besides herself, besides the ring on her finger, besides the body in the bed? 

She only had herself, her wedding ring, and the husband who gave it to her.

The husband who was whispering her name.

“Elizabeth,” Benjamin whispered, before she had the chance to leave.

She turned around before McHenry could pull her away.

Benjamin was awake, his head turned on the side of the pillow facing the doorway- he was looking at her, waiting for her. She didn’t even know he was awake- it seemed as if he were asleep when she was getting ready to leave, pulled back into a deep slumber. He had finally fallen asleep for the first time in a few hours- after she was forced to tell them he woke, that the fever broke, that he was alive. 

McHenry and Cochran and her father were all summoned, as if her common sense wasn’t enough to confirm it, as if she was hallucinating, as if she were dreaming and lying. 

After the two other surgeons left, Washington entered the room, diligently followed by Hamilton and Tilghman and Lafayette, lingering in the doorway as if they needed to be there, needed to catch him before the fall. 

The General didn’t leave until after dinner. 

And then it was McHenry- McHenry was last. He was the one who examined Benjamin, redressed the bandages, sat him upright, changed him into a spare shirt. He was the one who told her to leave- leave instead of stay. “He has survived the worst of it, Miss Walker. Go home, get a goodnight’s rest, change your clothes. Take care of yourself, now. You have survived it, too.” 

And a part of her wanted to- a part of her begged for it, screamed at her, scolded her: Get some sleep in your own bed, Elizabeth! Get yourself off the floor, Elizabeth! Get out of your days old dress, Elizabeth! A part of her was desperate for somewhere familiar, somewhere comforting- whatever comfort this house had was gone, and it would take time for it to return. It would take time for the smell of blood and sickness to wash away. But her house had a warm fire, a mattress instead of sheets on the floor.

And the other part of her wanted to stay. Wanted to watch the way his chest fell, wanted to see if he was breathing, wanted to see him wake up- wanted to know it wasn’t a dream, it was real. Wanted to know the nightmare was over. The other part of her saw Benjamin after McHenry examined him, collapsing into the mattress, struggling to catch his breath, exhausted from the controlled chaos of the last few hours, the uncontrolled terror of the last week, desperate for sleep and stability.

She wanted to be the one to give him it.

But she had to leave.

If she didn’t leave now, who knows if she ever would?

“Come here,” Benjamin’s voice didn’t sound like a command or plea, too hoarse and rough to express any emotion. McHenry told her it would wear off eventually, the awkward stillness, the emptiness, the straight, hollow words and endless gazes. His mind needed as much time to recover as his body did. 

She moved away from the doorway, looked over her shoulder- McHenry’s back was to her, giving them a moment of privacy. He was looking out the window. 

“What is it?” She asked. “Do you need anything- water, a blanket, some tea?” 

He tried to shake his head, “No, I just want to see you. Please, come here.”

She was at the bedside.

At the bedside as if she’d never left it.

“Closer,” he asked.

Her body touched the bed frame.

And then, Benjamin moved, his thin, pale arm coming through the blanket, trying to reach to her, trying to find her- trying to reach for-

Trying to reach for her hand.

His grip was weak as he brought it towards his face, ran her skin across his damp, flushed cheek- his skin was still hot, but the heat had weakened, like a dying fire, struggling to stay alive in the early hours of the morning.

He brought her hand to his lips.

He kissed it, his eyes closed, his face calm, as if he were about to sleep.

“I love you,” he said.

For the first time that day, for the first time in forever, he sounded like himself. 

A weaker, smaller, quieter, version of himself, but she would take him anyway she could. 

He loved her nonetheless.

“I love you, Benjamin.” 

It felt as if they were saying it for the first time, as if they had gone through it all again, the danger and the uncertainty and the risk and the emotion and the pain. 

But they had gone through it together.

She bent down, moved the hair out of his face, kissed his forehead. 

He still held onto her hand.

“I’ll be here first thing in the morning,” she said.

“You always are.”

Benjamin smiled.

A small, brilliant, unbelievable smile.

She never thought she would see it again.

That small, boyish smile, lighting up his eyes, spread across his face. 

“McHenry, make sure she gets home safe.”

He didn’t turn around, “Of course, Tallmadge.”

“Goodnight, Elizabeth.”

Benjamin let go of her hand. 

He let her leave.

“Goodnight, Benjamin.”

She was coming back in the morning. 

[kurokoros]

move me, baby | sp

Title: move me, baby

Rated: T for the first four scenes. M for the last.

Words: 3314

Pairing: Sweet Pea x reader

Summary: Somehow, Sweet Pea starts calling you “baby”. The nature of the petname evolves.

AN: It’s been a hot minute since I wrote a reader insert fic, but here it is!

The bench beneath your back is uncomfortable. You shift again, waiting for the artist, an older Serpent named Micah, to finish prepping his station. Nervously, you twiddle your thumbs, chewing at your lower lip. Already you’ve begun to fidget and the tattoo gun isn’t even out yet.

And really, you shouldn’t be as nervous as you are. You’ve seen Micah’s work before and know he’s a damn good artist. It’s not like he would be doing the Serpent’s tattoos if he wasn’t. Besides, you grew up on the Southside. It’s practically criminal that you made it this long without getting one, even if you aren’t a Serpent yourself.

“Oh, come on,” Sweet Pea huffs, causing your gaze to snap to his. He glances down at you in irritation, his lips pressed into a thin line. “Don’t be such a baby. It’s just a tattoo.”

You roll your eyes at the tall, gruff Serpent. Of course he would think that. Sweet Pea’s favorite past time is getting himself beaten up by the Ghoulies. You’re not even sure pain is part of his vocabulary at this point. “Why are you even here, again?” you ask, quirking a brow at your surly, sort-of-friend. “Don’t you have someone else to bother?”

Not that you want him to leave. The only reason you haven’t bolted from the bench yet is because of his silent judgment grounding you in place.

Plus, you think as you look him over, gaze lingering on the angry, two-headed snake inked into the side of his neck, Sweet Pea has always been pretty damn good eye-candy. That certainly makes up for him sitting there and judging you like an asshole.

Sweet Pea just shrugs. “Moral support.” He crosses his arms and leans back in his seat, completely relaxed.

“Right, because you’re so supportive.”

He reaches out and pinches your exposed hip, making you yelp and jerk away from his mischievous fingers. On reflex, you swat at him, and Sweet Pea chuckles when you miss, a deep baritone that sends a shiver shooting right up your spine.

Before you can yell at him, Micah steps back into the room. The older Serpent flashes you a brief smile as he fixes his gloves and settles into the chair on your left. “All right, Sweetheart, you ready?”

You manage to nod and resist the urge to fidget as he presses the stencil to your skin, a simple flower that follows the curve of your hipbone in the front.

(You’re so preoccupied with the whirring of the machine and the nerves bubbling in your stomach that you don’t see the way Sweet Pea’s eyes trace the hem of your underwear all the way to the blue stencil on your hip.)

Micah draws the first line, officially starting your first tattoo, and your eyes squeeze shut. Your teeth dig into your lower lip at the lick of pain that curls through you. It’s over as quickly as it starts, but you don’t hear the encouragement Micah murmurs.

Sweet Pea leans down toward you. “Just remember to breathe,” he says, just loud enough for you to hear over the buzzing of the gun. “You’ll be fine. Just don’t—”

“Sweet Pea?” Your voice comes out much softer than you mean it to, more breathy, a little shaky, but just loud enough to catch his attention. You swallow. “Just shut up and hold my hand.” The fingers of your right hand wiggle to emphasize the request.

For a second he just stares at you in surprise, lips slightly parted and dark eyes wide. His jaw tightens, causing the snake on his neck to tense. Micah smiles secretively.

Finally, Sweet Pea rolls his eyes. “Baby,” he grumbles as his hand slips into yours.

The Friday night rush at the Wyrm is considerably slower than you expected it to be tonight. Most of the older Serpents have settled into their regular seats and have taken to nursing their beers and reminiscing and the ones still in school ducked out of the bar over an hour ago, bored and headed to the quarry to cause trouble.

FP Jones and his kid are notably absent, as are most of the other Serpents rising up in the ranks. It’s not hard to figure out why. Lately, things have been rough on the Southside. The Ghoulies have been causing chaos all over town. There have been more brawls in the last week than there have in the previous month, and as far as you’re aware FP is pretty keen on ending things before they get out of control like they did back when you were all still in high school.

Worry niggles at the back of your mind, but you shove it down.

It’s a little after two in the morning and the bar is almost empty by the time Sweet Pea slips in through the front door. You don’t notice him at first, half-asleep as you scrub the same spot on the bar with a wet cloth, making lazy circles.

“You know, I think you missed a spot.”

Inhaling sharply, you startle at the unexpected voice. Your eyes snap up to meet Sweet Pea’s amused gaze and his lips quirk higher. You’re taken aback by the man standing in front of you. There’s blood on his knuckles, his own or someone else’s you can’t be sure, his lip is split and puffy, and there’s a nice bruise forming beneath his left eye. More blood is splattered across the front of his leather jacket and the white shirt he’s wearing beneath it.

Without really meaning to you look him over, cataloging the injuries you see. It’s not as bad as you were expecting. He’s bloody and bruised and holding himself like his ribs hurt, but you’ve seen he look far worse than this.

“Let me guess,” you muse, leaning forward on your elbows and grinning at him, “I should see the other guy?” His answering grin is wry and humorless and you think maybe you’re wrong and it’s worse than you think. “What was it this time?”

He shuts down and immediately you regret asking. His expression becomes pinched and a dark wave of fury washes over his features. Sweet Pea grits his teeth, his jaw clenched so tightly that a muscle in his jaw pops. “Business,” is all he tells you.

You don’t have to ask what kind.

Instead, you ask “whiskey or vodka?” Something to make him loosen up or forget. It’s always the same with him.

He leans forward on the bar, careful not to get blood on the clean surface as you grab him a glass. “Whiskey.”

You pour him his drink and slide it across the bar. As he reaches for his wallet, you stop him. He stiffens under your brief touch, but doesn’t pull back.

“It’s on the house,” you tell him quietly. You aren’t sure what possesses you to say that, but you don’t regret it for a second. Hog Eye will be pissed if he finds out you’re giving away free alcohol—at least, he’ll pretend to be—but it’s worth it with the way Sweet Pea reacts.

His expression softens considerably and your throat tightens, your mouth dry. There’s something about the tall, angry biker looking at you like that that makes your breath catch. “Thanks, Babe,” he murmurs. Sweet Pea offers you another small smile before taking his drink and straightening.

You roll your eyes as he fishes out his wallet and shoves a twenty in the tip jar before heading for a table in the back where Jughead and Fangs are waiting for him.

You’ve never understood the point of drag racing. It seems stupid, betting so much on who can drive marginally better than someone else, but those were the Ghoulies’ terms. While the Serpents would prefer an all out rumble, the Ghoulies always have been fond of their flashy cars.

When Toni threw a crop top and shorts at you this morning you should have known it would be something like this. You may not be an official Serpent, but there are still certain expectations.

So here you are, waiting on some dusty back road as one of the younger Serpents argues with a Ghoulie about the same age, setting up the terms of the race. You aren’t sure where Toni disappeared to; she disappeared to go find Fangs as soon as the two of you pulled up in her beat up car.

Usually it wouldn’t bother you, being alone like this, but you’re really not liking the way one of the Ghoulies across the dirt lot is eyeing you. You doubt he’d be stupid enough to try anything in a crowd of Serpents, but you can never be too sure. The Ghoulies tend to be bold and don’t take no for an answer, and everyone here is just looking to start a brawl.

Ignoring the Ghoulie doesn’t seem to dissuade him.

You jump as a pair of big hands settle on your hips from behind and squeeze gently. Panic surges in your chest until a familiar, rough, baritone laugh rumbles through you as you’re pulled back against a broad chest. “Relax, baby girl,” Sweet Pea murmurs against your ear, voice low and throaty. “It’s just me.”

Breathing a sigh, you lean into him. “Fuck, Sweet Pea,” you huff, rolling your eyes when he chuckles.

You don’t have to ask what he’s doing, already feeling the Ghoulie’s eyes slide away from you. And sure enough, you crane your head back to look at him only to find him locked in a staring contest with the Ghoulie across the lot, who sneer and turns back to his friends. Sweet Pea’s jaw is clenched tight, his eyes narrowed dangerously, and you shake your head at the alpha male bullshit, but gladly sink into him anyway.

The pad of his thumb strokes the bare skin over the waist of your shorts, just teasing the tattoo peeking out on your hip. You wonder if he’s doing it on purpose, trying not to squirm and shiver as he leaves a trail of fire in his wake, the heat of his hands sinking into you.

“I thought you were supposed to be giving Isaac and Dexy some pointers,” you murmur, watching the two younger Serpents head back to their car, the Ghoulies doing the same. Briefly, you wonder where they got it, but figure it best not to think about it.

Sweet Pea pulls you a little closer to his torso, leaving no space left between the two of you. He doesn’t wrap his arms around you, just holds you there, grip loosening now that the Ghoulie has lost interest. “I already did.” A low sound rumbles in his chest and echoes in your own. “Thought you looked lonely.”

“So you came to keep me company? My hero,” you joke. He pinches your hip like he always does and you swat at him playfully. Sweet Pea strokes the curve of your tattoo and you hope he doesn’t notice the hitch in your breathing.

You expect him to let go as the race starts, but he keeps his hands on you the entire time. They just rest there on you hips, drumming absentmindedly against your side to his own rhythm.

Picking up an overnight shift at Pop’s Diner wasn’t something you wanted on a Wednesday night. Wednesday’s are always quiet, the shift slow because it’s the middle of the week and no one wants to pop into a twenty-four hour diner for a shake at two in the morning aside from stoners and occasionally Jughead Jones.

And that’s exactly who’s here tonight. A group of southside teens stoned out of their minds are a giggly mess in the far corner of the room, milkshakes of every flavor laid out in front of them. They’ve been taking sips of each one individually and looking like their minds are blown every time. Jughead, meanwhile, is in his usual spot on a stool up front, laptop laid out in front of him as he types away furiously, still working his way through that novel of his that stopped being about Jason Blossom almost five years ago. Besides them, it’s only you and the cook, Brian, here tonight, and you’re pretty sure Brian is taking a power nap in the back while you lazily wipe down the same spot on the counter you have been all night.

When the bell above the front door chimes, you don’t think much of it, calling out a reflexive greeting as a man in a black coat walks up to the counter. It’s not until there’s a gun in your face that you realize what’s going on. The stoners stop giggling in the booth and from further down the counter Jughead stares at you with wide eyes and you hope he doesn’t try to be a hero tonight.

White noise rings in your ears. The man is shouting, but you can’t make out what he’s saying. You fumble and nearly drop the key you need to open the register. The drawer pops open. Jughead slowly starts to stand. The cold kiss of steel presses against your temple.

You wait for the bang but it never comes. Your hands shake as you give him the cash from the register. The bell above the door jingles.

It’s all a blur to you after that. Someone must call the police, because suddenly Sheriff Keller is standing in front of you, holding you steady with one hand on your upper arm. Your head is foggy and you stutter as you recount the events from minutes earlier. There isn’t much to say. You didn’t see his face.

Sheriff Keller talks to Jughead next, and then the stoners in the corner. Jughead comes to stand next to you against the far wall and makes a phone call, but you don’t pay attention.

The shaking in your hands spreads through the rest of your body and suddenly you’re sliding down the wall to the floor, a trembling, sobbing mess as you realize how different things could have gone.

The bell above the door chimes and you flinch. Someone drops to their knees beside you. There are hands on you them, gentle and coaxing, and your back is pulled flush against a broad, firm chest as arms wrap around you. You curl into the person behind you, immediately sinking into the familiar embrace. A tattooed thumb rubs circles into your upper arm.

“It’s okay, Baby,” Sweet Pea whispers in your ear as he strokes your hair away from your face. “You’re okay. It’s okay.” A small, hiccupping sob tears from your chest and his grip around you tightens. His lips press against your temple as he rocks you both. “No one’s gonna hurt you, okay?” he coos. “I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.” His palms rub up and down your arms, soothingly.

He kisses your head again and you believe him.

You aren’t sure how it happens exactly. One minute you and Sweet Pea are arguing about something pointless and the next you’re being dragged into the storage room behind the bar at the Wyrm and shoved up against a wall. The cold wall stings your back, but don’t have the time to complain. Sweet Pea’s mouth meets yours in a bruising kiss, and your knees almost buckle.

It’s a mad rush of hands and lips and teeth. Your fingers rake through his hair, squeeze his upper arms, dip beneath his shirt to tease the firm muscle beneath. Sweet Pea wedges a knee between your thighs and rocks up against you, applying enough pressure to make you moan and squirm, soft, needy sounds spilling from your mouth.

He grins against you, smug, and you’d wipe that look off his face if he wasn’t hooking his hands beneath your thighs and hauling you off the ground. You’re crushed between him and the wall, your legs wound around his waist, and already you can feel him, hard and hot against your inner thigh, achingly close to where you want him.

Sweet Pea’s hips rock against yours and you squirm.

A lick of heat curls in your gut, and you realize it’s skin contact you want. The leather jacket is shoved from his shoulders and left in a heap on the floor and he chuckles when your needy fingers grasp the hem of his shirt and tug upwards. You struggle with the fabric, huffing, and consider just ripping it when it catches on his shoulders. Through his amusement, Sweet Pea helps you yank the shirt off from over his head.

He doesn’t leave you for long. Another bruising kiss is pressed to your mouth before his lips wander to your jawline, nipping and sucking a path across your skin that makes your eyes flutter shut. Your hands slide up his back, feeling every bump and scar and bruise with the tips of your fingers until his mouth finds a spot that makes your whole body jerk against him. Sweet Pea squeezes your ass as your fingers grasp at his shoulders, and then his hair. He murmurs your name and you whimper, hips grinding against his until you pull a low moan out of him.

“That’s it, Baby,” he mumbles as your legs squeeze around his waist and your fingers tug at his hair. “Just like that.” His mouth moves from your jaw to your neck, the rough scrape of his lips against your sensitive skin making you shiver.

Sweet Pea grinds against you bucking his hips sharply, and your head falls back against the wall as you arch into his chest.

He pulls away from you then, and you whine at the loss of contact as you’re placed back on your shaky legs, but he smothers your complains with a kiss that makes you dizzy. And you really can’t complain as his tongue drags across his lower lip as he sinks onto his knees in front of you.

There’s something absolutely erotic about having him on his knees for you, his lips teasing the soft skin above the waist of your jeans, his eyes on you, taking in every expression you make as he pulls little sounds from your mouth. His eyes lock on yours, pinning you in place as his fingers slide up your thighs. Your breath catches as he pops open the button on your jeans.

Sweet Pea holds your gaze as he leans in to press a soft kiss beneath your bellybutton. His mouth follows the hem of your underwear to the tattoo on your hip and your legs turn to jelly. The grip he has on your thighs is the only thing keeping you upright and aren’t able to swallow down a pleased moan when his teeth graze your sensitive skin.

His fingers hook around the edge of your panties and the ache between your legs grows painful as he kisses your hip and—

“Oh!” Sweet Pea rips his mouth away from you and you gasp, eyes flying open to see a very surprised Toni standing there. Her lips twitch like she wants to laugh. She turns around and heads back out to the bar, shouting, “Hog Eye, I think we’re out of that!”

“Oh my god,” you mumble, mortification rushing through you when you realize you were about to let Sweet Pea go down on you in the back room of the Whyte Wyrm.

Sweet Pea groans and stands, leaving you wet and needy, and the sound just makes the pulse between your thighs more noticeable. “Shit.” He sighs and glances down at you, taking in your bee-stung lips and rumpled hair, your pupils blown wide with lust. “My place?” he jokes.

You breathe a laugh and stand on your toes to loop an arm around his neck, pulling him down for another lingering kiss.

[yougoodfahm]

Chapter 1 – Leaving the Dust Behind

Auranis AU

Summary for whole fic: Roman and Remus are accepted to join Auranis, a protected and self-sustaining society that was founded within a country that had collapsed, leaving its citizens to fend for themselves. Now, the twins find themselves living a new type of life and try to navigate it as best they can.

-

[Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5]

Wordcount: 1783 words

Warnings: mention of death and murder, weapons (knives, brief mentions of others including guns), let me know if I need to add more

Summary: Roman and Remus finish packing and make their way to the bus pick-up location to start their new life as citizens of Auranis

Read it on ao3!

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Roman rifled through the last drawer, making sure he didn’t forget something important. They needed to leave in the next ten minutes or so, and both of their bags were already basically packed, but he was double checking every inch of their tiny house just to be sure.

“Are you sure I can’t bring my radio? It’s going to be so boring without it,” Remus complained, holding up their nearly-broken radio that they had fixed about a year before.

Roman sighed and replied, “Yes, I’m sure. They say it very clearly in the pamphlet, take a look.” He grabbed the piece of folded paper from the top of the dresser and threw it at his brother, which was met with a groan.

He knew the contraband list by heart at this point, making sure that there would be absolutely no reason for them to be turned away before they even got the chance at a better life. No weapons (including knives, needles, sticks, guns, or anything else that could possibly injure someone), nothing that can start fires or produce heat, no radios or other pieces of technology, no drugs, no alcohol, and nothing made of glass.

The only things they could take were whatever clothes they were wearing, plus two pairs of pants, two shirts, two pairs of socks, two pairs of underwear, one set of sleepwear, one jacket, one pair of shoes, and two miscellaneous items, as long as it all fit in a backpack or similarly-sized bag. They could also bring a little food and water for the bus ride, but they had to finish it all by the time they arrived or would have to throw it out.

Roman shut the final drawer and turned to face his brother and their bags. He sighed and checked his watch. Only a few more minutes to go. He grabbed Remus’s bag and searched through it, giving it one last check before they headed out the door to be absolutely sure that he didn’t try to sneak any contraband inside.

Clothes, clothes, clothes, tennis ball, deck of cards. It seemed clear, but he’d check before they got on the bus as well just to be safe.

Roman then turned to his own bag to make sure he had everything. He had all the clothing, plus his large notebook that he’d written and drawn in since he got it four years ago. He also had his favorite pen, plus two apples, a chunk of bread, and a bottle of water for the two of them to share.

Roman looked down at his hands, which were rough from years of hard work. He had his mother’s ring on his right pinkie finger, which was the only finger it would comfortably fit on. Since he was wearing it, the ring wouldn’t be counted as a third miscellaneous item, hopefully. He wanted to remember her, and he’d worn the ring at nearly all times for the past three years.

Roman shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts and hoisted up his backpack, slinging it onto his shoulders. He then picked up his trusted pocketknife, which he had decided to take along as protection during their walk to the pick-up location but would bury in the sand before they got on the bus.

Remus picked up his own backpack and headed towards the door. The two of them said a silent goodbye to the place that had been their home for the past five years or so. It wasn’t much, but it had been theirs. Roman twisted the ring, and then headed out into the cool, dark air.

The stars were out and shining as usual, giving them enough light to see their way without tripping over any debris. They had about an hour until sunrise, which was when the bus would arrive.

The two brothers treaded lightly — which, in all fairness, was not particularly difficult on the sandy surface. Their boots naturally stepped over bottles and chunks of metal that had been cast all over by the high winds of the area.

Roman and Remus walked in silence, staying close to buildings and half-collapsed walls so they could duck behind them at a moment’s notice. Roman kept his pocketknife at the ready and both faced in different directions, scanning the area for any sign of danger. They had both been jumped many times before and certainly didn’t want to repeat the experience, especially not today.

After about half an hour of hiking, Remus signaled to Roman with a silent gesture that he saw patroller lights in the distance and pulled him into an alleyway so that they wouldn’t be seen. The patrol sweeps were never good, they were the last part of the Ocrium government remaining and they were notoriously cruel.

Roman shuddered as he remembered their mother, who had been killed by a patroller because she was looking through a dumpster for food and hadn’t heard them ride up to the alley. He twisted the ring around his finger until the lights had passed them by.

The two of them popped out from the alley and continued on the rest of their walk, luckily without much trouble. The sky lightened before their eyes, right along with Roman’s plan.

The sun had just barely started to cut over the hills in the distance when they reached the pickup area. The brothers saw a cluster of about two dozen other people positioned next to a sign that read “Auranis,” and both of their faces lit up with a hopeful grin.

Roman knelt down and dug a hole in the sand to bury his knife. He motioned for Remus to take off his pack so he could go through it again. Remus groaned but complied, and soon enough the two of them had their packs back on as they joined the rest of the group.

When the sky was finally the familiar pale blue of day, a light gray bus appeared on the horizon and drove towards the group, coming to a gentle stop in front of them.

Roman fidgeted with the hem of his dusty brown shirt and looked over at Remus, who was bouncing on the balls of his feet and whose eyes were gleaming with excitement.

The bus’s front door opened, and a woman stepped out. “Alright, as you board the bus, I’ll need to see your confirmation passes, so have those ready to go.” The crowd nodded, and Roman quickly got out the two passes from the front pocket of his bag. He handed one pass to Remus and kept the other in his hand, which was slightly shaking.

As the crowd made its way into a line that eventually moved onto the bus, Roman couldn’t help but give in to the infectious sense of excitement that permeated the air. Everyone seemed so genuinely glad to be there, for the opportunity to escape the unfortunate reality that they had lived in for so long. For a chance to start over.

When they reached the front of the line, Roman showed his confirmation pass to the woman, who smiled at him and let him board the bus. Remus soon followed, and the two of them plopped down onto one of the large seats towards the back. Only about half of the seats were filled up by the time everyone had gotten on.

Roman looked out the dusty window, admiring the morning light and the world that they were leaving behind. After just another minute or so the bus began its journey.

For a while, the two of them continued to sit in silence, just looking around at the bus, out the window, and at the other people riding it alongside them.

Eventually though, Remus started to get fidgety as he began twirling his short, messy hair around in his fingers. Roman suggested that they break out the deck of cards that Remus had brought, and he happily agreed. They played one of their all-time favorite games that they had made up as kids — they called it Resistance.

Pretty soon the both of them got hungry so Roman got out the food that he had packed, and they ate a breakfast of apples, bread and water. They kept playing Resistance until the bus pulled to a stop at the second pick-up location.

The two of them looked around outside, but the scenery seemed pretty similar to what they were used to. There seemed to be a few trees in the distance, but that was about the only difference. Another two-dozen people boarded the bus, and then they once again started driving but this time towards the city.

Both Roman and Remus dozed off after growing tired of playing the card game after several rounds. Before they knew it, the bus was driving up towards a massive building. Honestly, the word “building” didn’t do it justice, since it was far wider than any building that Roman had ever seen or even dreamed of. It went on and on and on to both the left and right, and he could just barely tell exactly where the gray, concrete walls ended.

Sat right in front of them, though, were two huge wooden doors that were covered in intricately carved designs. The doors opened to them, and the bus drove slowly just inside of the walls. They were soon followed by a second bus that came up the road behind them, and then the doors were shut, closing them inside.

Although the entrance was dark at first compared to the bright sunlight, after a moment Roman’s eyes adjusted and he saw that they were in a large enclosed area that fit them as well as two other buses that weren’t currently being used.

The woman at the front of the bus stood up and said, “Alright, everyone. Gather your belongings and follow me. I’ll be your guide for the next few days. My name is Allana, and just let me know if you have any questions, though I’m sure many of them will be answered soon enough in orientation.”

She went out the bus’s door and waited as the rest of the passengers followed her. Roman quickly shoved their few belongings back into their bags and stood up, barely able to stop his feet from sprinting towards the rest of the group waiting outside.

As Roman and Remus stepped off of the last stair of the bus, Allana motioned the group to follow her towards a door leading away from where they had entered.

The group followed her and as they filed into a new, large and brightly lit room, Allana said with a smile, “Welcome, new citizens, to Auranis.”

-

[Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5]

-

Let me know if you want to be added to a taglist!

[aquaevans]

Some Kind of Magic || Sam and Dani SP Training

Who: Sam Evans and Dani Harper with Ari and Fiyero

When: May 14, 2019

Where: Undique Stadium 

General Notes: Dani and Sam practice with his soul armament. Warnings for minor violence and self harm at the end

Dani could use the distraction. Whatever was coming their way wasn´t just threatening their life, but also included the possibility of her girlfriend sacrificing herself to save the world. Which was a good thing, considering neither of them could life with themselves if they didn´t, but that didn´t mean that Dani was good at dealing with it. Sighing to herself as she pulled her hair into a ponytail she began stretching as she waited for Sam to arrive.

Sam was nervous the closer it got to what was coming. There was something strangely ironic about not celebrating his birthday last year and now soon to be spending his possible last birthday ever. He couldn't think like that though. He was going to help Marley and everyone else save the world. At least he hoped he would. Right now, all he could do was focus on getting prepared. Training was the best way to do that, he thought, as he headed inside to meet Dani at the room he booked. Ari was beside him trotting along. "Hey, Dani." Dani glanced up when he spoke to her, even though she had heard him coming. Fiyero was curled up next to her and lifted his head, almost as if he was giving Ari a nod. "Hey," She found herself saying in response, finishing off her stretches. "Ready to try out that soul armament of yours?" Dani added, offering him a somewhat smile. "And we should probably also try and see if we can do that thing where you save me ass without me falling on it," Sam watched as Ari seemed to greet Fiyero before looking over at Dani. He was finally ready to see what his soul armament did. It took a while for him to realize it would be useful to at least see what he could do with it. "Ready as I'll ever be." He let out a nervous chuckle, remembering how he nearly kept dropping her too many times before he finally caught her. "Sounds good to me. I have a feeling if I have to make it to three tries again that I'll owe you coffee until graduation." He joked. Dani couldn´t quite hold back the chuckle that made its way past her lips. "I wouldn´t exactly complain about that." She then told him. "Well. The coffee. Not the dropping." Smiling at him as she got into position she braced herself, giving him a nod. "Alright, show me what you´ve got." Sam was a bit nervous about this but also excited. It'd be the first time he would see what his soul armament could do. He looked over at Ari with a smile, "Ready?" Ari meowed in agreement before Sam said "Soul armament." When he took hold of Ari, he watched his familiar turn into a trident, with what looked like a green emerald in the center and the shape of his tail wrapped around the hilt. "Whoa, that's pretty cool." He said, in awe, looking at Dani. "Okay, um..." He had no idea what to do for a spell and chuckled. "Okay, sorry, I'm nervous, uh..." He smiled slightly. "I guess for being better about my magic, I still am wary of using something like a weapon." He admitted to her, not afraid to hide how he was feeling. Dani stayed where she was, watching as Sam got on with his soul armament. She couldn´t deny that she, too, was a little bit in awe of it. She still had some fighting to do with Fiyero before they got that far, but at least today would help with that. And if she could help Sam with getting control of his soul armament then that would also be good. Nodding she glanced back at Fiyero for a moment and he hopped onto her shoulder, ready to fight. "Alright, you can do it. Come up with something." She offered a smile. "But if you´re planning on spearing me with that give me a warning first, alright?" Sam twirled the trident around in his hand for a moment to get a feel for its weight. He smirked at her comment before looking at her. "I'll warn you, but I'll try not to spear you at all." He wondered how it would work so he tested out a <<Bubble>> spell. However, it didn't do much.  Hmm, maybe he could try just testing it against her fighting. "How about you try to block my moves with it first?" He suggested. Nodding Dani kept her eyes on Sam. If she was one thing then it was fast. She had learned to be, and even though she was pretty much useless against magic without her own. So she had to be fast, and punch someone. For now, however, she went for a quick lurch forward in an attempt to grab the trident from him.

Dani Harper rolled a 4

Sam Evans rolled a 2

Sam saw her coming and twisted the trident in another direction in order to keep her from grabbing it but ended up bumping his head with the hilt. "Ouch, gotta get used to this." He said before moving the trident to swipe at her ankles.

Sam Evans rolled a 7

Dani Harper rolled a 2

Dani barely missed the trident but couldn´t help but chuckle as he bumped himself in the head with it. A mistake, probably, considering he promptly took another sweep at her. She didn´t quite manage to escape the sweep and stumbled, rolling over her shoulder and sitting for a moment, glancing up at him. "Good one," She told him before taking a sweep of her own at him with her leg, trying to get him off his feet.

Dani Harper rolled a 2

Sam Evans rolled a 4

Sam was impressed with how well she dodged his blow. When she tried to swipe at him, he managed to use the trident to block her foot, but he accidentally scratched her in the process. "Oops, sorry!" He said, even though they were training, he still didn't like it when he hurt his friends. He looked at the trident. "Well, so far the defensive and offensive spells I used aren't working out." He started to have an idea, but he wasn't sure yet. "Want me to heal that for you?”

Dani felt the trident scratch across her skin and while it burned she had sustained worse injuries before. "Later," She then replied, because something was telling her that this wasn´t the only scratch she was going to get from this. Getting back on her feet as quickly as possible she didn´t waste any time to swing a fist at him. Maybe a surprise attack would trigger some sort of reaction. Sometimes it helped not to think too much.

Dani Harper rolled a 5

Sam Evans rolled a 4

Sam really wanted to test his theory, but if she wanted a battle then he'd give that to her. She did get him in the shoulder though and he winced. "Good one." He turned the trident around in his hands so the hilt was facing her instead of the prongs and he went for her stomach.

Sam Evans rolled a 7

Dani Harper rolled a 6

“Well that did nothing,” Dani replied as she took a step back. She did, however, realize that she had let herself get distracted again. Surely, she was here to help Sam with his new found weapon, but that didn’t mean she could pay less attention to her defense. Getting a hold of the hilt as it touches her stomach Dani could feel a small bruise forming as she pushes it away and back at him. Sam shook his head, "You had some good moves there, it's just a matter of learning how to block weapons. You're doing good." He took a step forward. "So I'm starting to think that this doesn't tap into the defensive aspect of my magic, moreso my healing. That's the only thing I haven't tried with it so far." He admitted. "Maybe that's what this is supposed to be for." How ironic, he thought. "Wow. I spent a year not being able to tap into it and now it looks like my soul armament is exactly for that. Or at least I need to test it out to see if that is the case."

"Well that makes sense." Dani replied with a nod as she made her way over to her bag and pulled out a pocket knife she usually carried around. Holding it to the palm of her hand she pressed it down until she could feel a sharp pain. The blood came a moment later and she nodded to herself, holding out her hand. "Alright, go for it." Sam's eyes widened when he saw what she was doing and he shook his head. "I could have actually healed that scratch I gave you, you didn't to be that dramatic." He was impressed but also slightly scared of her in that moment. He held the trident over her palm. Heal

Sam Evans rolled a  44

Admittedly Dani had already kind of forgotten about the scratch on her ankle. There was still a slight burn, but it was something she hadn´t been paying too much attention to. Instead she glanced over at him when he placed the trident on her hand. She felt a warmth spread through her hand and nodded as she found the cut to be completely gone. "Well there you go, that was fantastic," She then smiled. "Though speaking of scratches, I think Fiyero might want to make an appearance, just for good measure," She chuckled and at her words Fiyero perked up. "Maybe you can see how well it works to heal yourself," Dani added as she nodded for her familiar to attack and the cat lurched itself at Sam´s chest, claws out.

Dani Harper rolled a 5

Sam Evans rolled a 3 Sam winced when Fiyero clawed his chest and looked down at his shirt. This was his favorite training top too. Why did he wear it when he fought with Dani knowing Fiyero was about? But he figured it couldn't hurt to try so he turned the trident towards himself. Heal

Sam Evans rolled a  20

Dani wasn’t exactly happy about hurting Sam,  but she was a little proud of Fiyero. The cat gave Sam a look, but then also quickly rubbed its head against the others eh before wandering off. “That trident is going to be useful,” she commented with a smile.

Sam gave Fiyero a pat on the head, smiling as he let go of Ari now that his job was done. Ari proceeded to rub against his leg before going to find the other familiar. "It is. Wow." He loved the feeling he had of being able to really help.  "It is. I just..." He took a breath, feeling a lot of emotion. "I honestly didn't think I had it in me for so long and now...now for sure, I do not want to let this chance go to really be able to help Marley...everyone for what's coming. I don't want to fail any of you, especially her when she's been working on this for so long."

Smiling Dani took a step closer, resting a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll be a great help.” She then told him. They could use any help hey could get but more healing? That would definitely be needed. “I know Marls can heal herself, but promise me to keep an eye on her anyways if I’m not there?”

Sam followed her action, squeezing her shoulder and nodded his head. "I will, I promise. And if you need me and I am not close enough, just call on me with the necklace, okay?" He took a breath. "And just remember I love you 3000."

Smiling at the Avengers reference Dani nodded. “Yeah, me too,” She then added, picking up her bag and looping her arm through his. “Let’s get some coffee.”

[tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar]

Angel | Sweet Pea Imagine.

Warning: mention of blood.

Summary: you will always be a Angel to him.

He checks if there's any new texts or a missed phone call. Again, two minutes later he checks. His fingers are turning white from holding onto the device in hand, mocking him by not working. You must have sent something and it's just haven't been delivered yet. He tells himself that this isn't the first time he has sent an, "Can you come over?" So Why does it feel different? You texted him thirty minutes saying, "I thought you would never ask."

From your house and into his arms, it takes you fourteen minutes. Sweet Pea hears your voice proudly telling him that the last four times you came over since he asked you. The first time, you almost didn't come because it was a school night and your parents would kill you for sticking out to see your boyfriend.

Your parents must have heard the front door open and closed and caught you.Told you that you would have to see Sweet Pea tomorrow at school and took your phone and car keys. That would make sense. For the first time in thirty nine minutes, he feels like he can breathe,sit on his couch,look down at his phone and out of the window.

He almost his phone when it starts to vibrate. Putting it against his ear, he doesn't hear the voice he was innturping. "Sweet Pea!" He pulls the phone away for feeling like the voice was screaming in his ear in person. "Is my daughter with you?"

"W-what?"

He hears a heavy sigh and some movement. He wonders if your mom can hear his heart beating. "Sweet Pea, I'm coming over and dragging her butt back to bed or so help me-"

"Y/N isn't here." After a few moments, he wishes it was loud again on both end of the call. "She should be." Of course your mother would already know about the late adventures between you two, she's your mother and best friend. "I've been waiting for her to get here."

Your mother puts on the neatest pair of shoes in front of the door, your little brothers' slippers, and closes her eyes when she notices that Sweet Pea is breathing into the speaker. "For how long?" He doesn't need to check the time before saying, "a hour and eleven minutes."

As he puts on his leather jacket and opens his front door, he wanted for you to become out of hiding from the side of his trailer and yell, "Boo!" since you were always on a mission to scare your boyfriend whom once told you that you would never be able to scare him so easy.

Sweet Pea never felt more scared in his entire life when he got on his bike and started driving in the same street you take. Your mother looks at every inch of the road, making sure she doesn't miss you being on the side of the road with a flat tire, ran out of gas or anything else.

They both see the flashing light in a parking lot at the same time.

There's a ambulance with no one inside. A fire truck is right next to it, making it hard to see the accident. Sweet Pea jumps off his bike as your mother leaves the car running, joining the small growing group of people watching behind the police tape. Sweet Pea knows it's your car that's parked right infront of the store. Right next to your car, there's a gallon of milk on the ground flowing into a bottle of blood. He doesn't think. He doesn't want to. He just stands there and looks. Your mother let her body break down as a great screaming sob escaped her, and she covers her mouth with her shaking hands. Sweet Pea looks away from the car that you bought a couple of months ago with your own money to go knee down to your mother.

"No! No, no, no!"

His shoulders drop in resignation as he looks away as she uses him a punching bag. He graps her hands and looks down at your mother eyes bleed with pain. Sweet Pea ripes the tape in two and pushes two officers away from you as he screams your name.

"Get your fucking hands off her!" He doesn't hear the paramedic words over his. "Get up, Y/N!"

"Sir-"

"Shut up! I'm not talking to you!" He sits next to the paramedic still doing CPR. He grabs your hand tightly and feels tears flowing faster than his heart beat. "I'm right here, Y/N. squeeze my hand."

"Sir, there's nothing else-"

"No!" He pushes your bangs out of your face and fills blood go through his fingers as he moves your lifeless body so your head can be in his lap. " Y-you got me okay? You scared me! Happy? You fucking scared the shit out of me! Wake up! Ple- please. Y/n, please no." His version his burry as he looks into your eyes. "Come on, Angel! You can't leave me. I'm still here."

Your mother comes from behind him. He feels like he has been in the same position for hours. Time doesn't matter now.

"Sweet Pea, the police officer told me it was a hit and run."

"Who did it? I will fucking kil-"

"Don't." She puts her hand ontop of his and yours as her face becomes red and wet again. "Don't say that word." She closes your eyes and tighten her grip on Sweet Pea hand. "They said t-that she came out of the store with the gallon of milk."

He wants to go back in time. He should've been there. He would've pushed her out of the way.

"She was looking down at her phone when the person drove though the parking lot."

"She was about to text me, wasn't she?" He watches his tears fall down onto his shirt and your hair.

"Yes. They showed me the unfinished text." She smiles a little, noticing her little angel is wearing the hoodie she was 'borrowing' from Sweet Pea for the past year. She remembers how last week she was about to put it in the washer machie until y/n came running and graped the hoodie. Sweet Pea laudry soap smelt like him and y/n didn't want to change the smell of her most favorite wore piece of clothing.

A officer hands him a plastic bag that has your phone it. On the screen, he can read out the text.

"Just had to stop by the store really fast. Hopefully my mom won't kill me for sneaking out tomorrow since I finally bought more milk. I'll be in your arms soon. Besides, I still have nine minu"

He doesn't have the strengh to hand it over back. Your mother brings him into her, letting him sob into her chest uncreasingly, hands cluthing at the sides of her shirt, his cries calling out for you.

You.

You'll always be his Angel.

-----

Hope you liked it. First time writing a sad oneshot for SP. Let's see how the feedback is so I know if I should write another. Maybe a part two?

[hiyo-silver]

"What's Up You Guys It's Me, Bdenbrough!"

Summary: Bill Denbrough is nine years old. He makes a YouTube channel to try and be more outgoing, and through his journey on YouTube his transition is evident.

A/N: this chapter starts with him not knowing he’s trans yet, it’s introducing elements of his character and also his relationship to the others.

AO3 + My Masterlist

Taglist: @fuckboykaspbrak @thesquidliesthuman @starboystan @rachi0964 @shewasthewind @beepbeep-losers @bigbilliamdenbro @jalenrose1122 @sleepygaybrough @itandstrangerthingsfanfic @boopboopbichie @peachywyatt

Bill tucks his hair behind his ear, sighing at how long it's getting again. He plops on his desk chair in front of his camera, stacked upon several r.l. Stine books to be level with his face. He props his feet up on the desk thoughtfully, taking a breath to soothe himself, realizing how daunting this is.

He looks at his spiral notebook on his desk, open to the page that reads "50 Questions Tag," in his messy, penciled in handwriting. He picks it up impatiently and clears his throat, pressing the on button on the old family camera.

"H-hello! Fuck. Welcome to m-my channel! I'm bdenbrough and I g-guess I'm your host h-here. Today I'm d-doing the f-fifty questions tag as m-my first video even though n-nobody asked me to," he shrugs precariously and looks down at the paper.

He clears his throat again as his own transition. "Where w-were you three hours a-ago?" He reads off, tapping his chin thoughtfully, "At the q-quarry- I th-think? Eddie was there and we found a g-garden snake! Richie said it's weird I l-liked it because girls aren't s-supposed to like slimey things b-but guess what, Richie? Snakes aren't even slimey! Just scaley!" He chuckles to himself, drawing his eyes down to the next line, "Question two," he prompts.

"Wh-who am I i-in love with?" He reads off with a small frown, "N-nobody! I'm too y-young f-for that, and b-boys are gross!" He jokes, making a sour face to add to his point.

"H-have you ever eaten a crayon?" Bill chuckles to himself, running his hands through his hair, awkwardly catching in a tangle near the end. "Uh. I pr-prefer that you guys m-make that assumption yourself," he chuckles to himself. "I-it was a d-dare- thanks Eddie, he'd n-never say he dared m-me though," he adds with a whisper.

"Is th-there anything pink within t-ten feet of you?" He reads, spinning in his chair around to look around. "Uhhh- m-my new church dress, d-don't tell m-my mom but I hate it. And a-also a l-lot of things o-on my bed and i-in my closet probably."

"L-last time you went t-to the mall?" He looks, staring into the window behind the camera as he thinks, sticking his tongue out slightly in concentration. "A wh-while ago- s-saw a movie there with m-my friends," he remembers finally, pointing at the camera excitedly as he does.

"Are y-you wearing socks right n-now? Uh yeah, r-right here under m-my sandals," he jokes, bringing up his leg to reveal that he's wearing strappy sandals, no socks under them though, already showcasing his sarcastic sense of humor.

"Does y-your family have a c-car worth o-over $2,000? T-to hell if I know," he shrugs, flipping the page to the next page of his "script".

He spins around in his chair once, obviously getting distracted by doing the same thing for so long. He takes a moment to reconvene, reading off the next one. "Question s-seven," he starts, squinting his eyes at his own bad handwriting.

"When was th-the last time you were o-out of town? Well I l-leave Derry e-every Thursday for sp-speech therapy," he says with a theatrical shrug.

"Have you b-been to a movie in th-the past f-five days?" He thinks for a moment, his tongue going back out thoughtfully, counting back the days since he and Richie and Stan and Eddie had seen a movie at the mall, "N-nope, it's been o-over a week I'd say," he finally answers.

"Are you h-hot?" He looks at the camera awkwardly and blinks a few times slowly, running his hands through his hair so it lands behind his ear again. "Y-yeah? I m-mean our air conditioning is br-broken and it's the m-middle of summer," he finally decides on answering.

"Last th-thing you had to drink?" He ponders for a moment, knowing that thinking so long about this probably means he's dehydrated. "Oh! Th-this morning m-my mom made lemonade- she n-never makes it s-sour enough."

"What are you w-wearing right now?" Bill looks down at himself, "Uhhh sh-shirt from... Justice? Fr-from my aunt I th-think," he muses, "And a-a-a-a," he sighs deeply at his inability to apparently get that word out, "d-denim skirt from who kn-knows," he shrugs as he turns the page.

"Do I w-wash my car or g-get a car wash?" He smirks to himself at the answer he considers. "I m-mean, Eddie and St-Stan already insist on Clorox wiping R-Richie's Hot Wheels so," he shrugs, pleased with himself for the additional irony. He doesn't usually talk this way- so openly and humorously all at once. He thinks he likes it so far, but he'll have to keep up with it.

"Last f-food you ate? Richie's m-mom made us turkey s-sandwiches, she's r-really nice, I help h-her with the dishes sometimes," Bill says, flashing the camera a winning smile, he likes to feel useful, and Maggie never ceases to have something for him to do when he wants to do something.

"Wh-where was I- this t-time last week? I have n-no clue and n-no desire t-to sit and th-think about it," he chuckles to himself, grabbing his pencil off his desk clumsily to cross the question out aggressively.

"Have y-you bought new clothing i-in the past week? Uh y-yeah, the nasty Church dr-dress my mom got me, it's a-all pink and fr-frilly- wait lemme g-get it!" He says scrambling up to grab it from the hook on his dresser door, holding it against himself for the camera, "Look! It's disgusting!" He whisper yells, running to go put it back as fast as he'd gotten it.

"L-last time you r-ran? Richie w-was chasing after m-me, tag, E-Eddie got him and then I h-had to make a run for it b-because he was really cl-close to where I was," he says, letting the exhilaration of the moment translate into his storytelling.

"Last sp-sport you watched?" He thinks to himself, not a fan of watching organized sports for the most part, "I a-actually don't kn-know, maybe a b-basketball g-game at the high school," he shrugs, flipping the page of his notebook again.

"Favorite animal? A dog! O-or a cat! Or am I o-obligated to s-say a hamster b-because I have one? H-his name is cheese and my dad says he's a l-little rascal just like I am," Bill says, beaming as if he takes it as the most sincere of compliments.

"Dream v-vacation?" He reads, sighing when he realizes he doesn't know, he stares just next to the camera and out the window as he thinks, hearing the door open behind him after a while.

"You done?" A small voice asks before a sprout of blond hair appears before the small boy attached to it. "Said you'd read me a story," the small voice adds, looking timid in Bill's presence.

Bill looks frustrated at first but softens, walking over and trying to lift the boy up by under his armpits, the toddler's shirt riding up awkwardly as they waddle back to the desk chair, "Th-this is my brother, h-his name is G-Georgie, he's a little rascal t-too," Bill chuckles, showing off the small boy to the camera, proud of having him no matter how much he continuously denies it to his friends.

"N-now get off m-my frame you a-hole!" Bill exclaims, shoving him out of the camera's view gently, "I'll tell you wh-when I'm done," he tells him as the younger boy trudges off quietly.

"S-sorry about that!" He says to the camera, "Question tw-twenty one," he says, taking a breath in preparation. "Whose house w-were you at last?Richie's! Wh-when his mom made us sandwiches a-after the quarry today!" He says excitedly at the memory, giving the camera a toothy smile without even meaning to, completely genuine.

"Worse i-injury you've e-ever had?" He reads, pretending to ponder to make himself seem more interesting despite his life of usually just skinned knees and elbows and mosquito bites when he stays out late.

He finally starts his story, looking at the ceiling in trying to remember what he's been told of this story. "I w-was three? I th-think? I was b-being dumb, and I g-got myself wacked b-by a car. I w-was unconscious for s-seven hours," he reports, not having much emotion tied to this story, not remembering a wink of it.

"M-mom says it's h-how I got m-my stutter- but how w-would she know? I h-hardly talked b-before I was three?" He chuckles, jiggling his leg as his filming energy returns. He'd call it filming energy but really, it's "being nine years old" energy.

"Did you really call your brother an a-hole?" His mother calls up the stairs with a tone that makes Bill flinch. He spins his chair around to the door to be sure she doesn't come. He looks back at the camera.

"Th-this has been bdenbrough, I g-gotta go," he says in a hushed voice before pressing the off button to go deal with his angry mother.

[xluckytheninjax]

Tumblr’s messing with quality,and since I scanned ‘em,seems like some of the parts are too light to show up.

Anyway,here’s what I’ve been drawing for the past two weeks between studying and writing exams.Because of the new South Park games {The Fractured but Whole and Phone Destroyer} I got obsessed with South Park again.So,have two pages of stuff I drew of my New kid in the games.His name is Max Chaos.One of my OCs with the most backstory.Decided on playing as him in Stick of Truth,and yep.I can’t draw humans to save my ass,but they don’t look as bad.Because I can’t really draw humans,I can’t draw kids,so,you’ll see they look older...whatever.I used some pose references for basically all of these.Without references,I’d be lost.

I decided I’m gonna post his bio with the drawings,because why not?

A short ramble behind every scribble and Max’s bio is under the cut {Otherwise this is gonna get too long}

If you’re still reading,howdy!

Here’s a description or whatever of each scribble.

1 {First page,left at the top} - This is what Max looked like when he and his family first moved to South Park.He has quite a bunch of scars,the most noticible being the slash through his eye,the ones on his hands {Thanks printer for making that unseeable} and the one that looks like an ‘x’ on the back of his neck {Can’t be seen at this angle}.

2 {The one next to the first one,one with the hoodie} - Max is known for liking oversized hoodies and shirts.The one he likes most being the one he’s wearing in the drawing.Black and grey,with a white ‘13′ on the front,and on the back ,’Chaos’ and another big ‘13′.

3 {The two side views.One is half drawn} - Originally,his costume for FBW/playing superheroes had a little mask thing {The right side-view}.Then I drew him with skeleton facepaint with shorter hair...and it looked cooler.So,the story is that,with his parents fighting,his dad commented that his hair is getting too long,and he got a haircut.It was all fien and dandy.Then during counselling with Craig ‘n Tweek during FBW,where they had to fight the therapy kids,one of the kids took the mask.He says that the skeleton facepaint fits his costume and the shorter hair better anyway.

4 {The one at the top right corner} - This is what Max looked like at the end of Stick of Truth.As King Douchebag,he wears a crown,and a poncho with the crab chestplate underneath,and his weapons? Crossbow,katana and Greataxe of the Warrior,even if he was a mage. During the events of SoT,he got some more scars and stuff from messing with fire and fireworks,and ended up with a black eye.

5 {Under the two side views} - “This here town ain’t big enough for the two of us.”

I play Phone Destroyer,made Max again.Now with the cowboy outfit that everyone starts out with,just with feathers.

6 {Under the first picture on the left} - I just drew Max’s eyes and mouth.This would be after SoT and during FBW.That’s it....

7 {Bottom left corner} - The last of the real ones/Capes

The reason for the first name comes from something Kenny says as Mysterion while walking to the police station at the beginning of ‘The thin white line’.Listening FOB after watching the episode lead to me naming the sketch after the song.The reason for the other name ‘Capes’,is because both of them are facing away,showing off their capes.I altered the Mysterion costume a liiiitle bit and gave Max a costume that isn’t in the game,more a personal design. Here we can see the ‘x’ scar on his neck.

8 {At the bottom,middle} - I have no explanation for this.Just a space filler I guess.

9 {Bottom right corner} - Counselling

“After this,I think Max is gonna need counselling”

One of my favorite missions in FBW,is fixing Craig and Tweek’s relationship.I screwed up with the mask thing,as you can tell.This would be an anguement before fighting the therapy kids.Altered Craig’s costume because I can.I could’ve drawn better,but eh,whatever.

The next page!

10 {Bottom left corner} - “Just a crazy,patched up Matryoshka”

I found a Matryoshka music video with the South Park characters,then this happened.I tried writing Matryoshka in Japanese in the speech bubble,but I feel like I screwed that up.I took Max in SP,and gave him the facepaint I gave him in a picture of him I drew a long time ago.Changed his jacket from the original.He also wears a snapback,flipped backwards....forgot to add that.

11 {Top right corner} - “I don’t see how this saves us time m’lord.”

I already posted about this one here

12 {Bottom right corner} - It was then that he started questioning a lot of things.

or

“Let’s get that blood cleaned up..”

“No.”

“We’re gonna clean those damn wounds.”

“No.”

“Do these eyes look like they’re gonna take no for an answer.”

“…..No.”

“Exactly.”

“Y’know,being taller than me makes it more intimidating…”

or

“…That’s some real Twenty one pilots bs you got going on there,New kid.”

“… That was what I was going for.”

Probably my favorite drawing so far.You can guess who’s my favorite superhero.It’s Mysterion.I could’ve said Professor Chaos,but he isn’t a hero.It’s between them and Toolshed.

Wanted to draw a bigger version of Max with the facepaint to show off some detail...then this happened.He decided to not paint over his eye scar,nor his lip scar.He did paint over his black eye though.One can see the ‘x’ scar,and a little part of a scar on his hand.

Now forrr his bio,because I can.I am evil enough to make this post even longer.I’m bored too,so yeah.

A profile on the New Kid --------

Full name:

Maximus Winston Chaos

Nicknames:

Max,Chaos,and the names given to him by the others - New kid, Douchebag, Dovahkiin,Buttlord,Butthole,etc

Gamer tag:

ChaoticDestroyer

Gender:

Born male,identifies as male

Age:

10 {although that's not the case in my art but shh}

Nationality:

American

Parents: Although the names of the parents in the games are Kelly and Chris {I think?} ,I changed it for the sake of originality I guess?

Sebastian Thomas Chaos

Cierra Chaos

Pets:

He has a husky mix named Hunter

Sexual orientation:

Pansexual

Personality:

At first glance,Max looks like your typical tough,I-have-no-feelings-or-emotions guy,but is actually a big clumsy teddy bear.He's extremely quiet,even if he doesn't mean to be. Because of his gift,his family moves around a lot.Every time he gets brainwashed,leaving him without any memories of past friends,or making them.He gets forced to keep quiet,and that lead to him to be almost completely mute.Slowly he's talking again.But he only talks to certain people.His friends,but not his parents.He can be stubborn and sarcastic,but he can also be sweet and witty. He's innocent,that's how it seems at first,but trust me,he's not so innocent.A charmer.Very protective,cares a lot for all his friends,not afraid to start a fight. If he sees one of his buds are colder than usual,he will literally give them the hoodie he's wearing,then he trusts that they'll return it.Except Cartman.He dislikes him.Likes puns.

An undercover emo.

Single/Taken:

"I don't have a crush on anyone in paticular."

"That's a lie.You told me in the bathroom during the superhe- "

"Not now Wendy."

He doesn't have memory of previous relationships.He is banned from having romantic relationships.Doesn't keep him from having a crush though.

Star sign:

Cancer

Race:

White

Birthday:

3rd of July

Alignment:

Lawful

Hair color:

His hair is so light,it looks white

He dyes it for special occasions.As an example,he has dyed his hair candy corn colors for Halloween,and pastel pink for Valentines day.

Eye color:

One would think his eye color is red.

Height:

He's pretty tall in comparison to the others

Piercings/tattoos:

Both his ears are pierced,no tattoos

Scars:

When he first moved to South Park,he had only a slash going through his left eye and some other random scars from different things.After the events of Stick of Truth,he's stuck with a black eye he got during the attack on Clyde and a few more scratches and burns.During the events of the Fractured but Whole,he's got a slash through the right side of his mouth and a few more.Almost broke his arm.

More random facts:

-He has insomnia because of horrible nightmares.If he can't sleep,he climbs out the window onto the roof,where he built himself a little platform.He usually sits there watching the drunkasses below with a hoodie and a blanket.

-His favorite animal is a grizzly bear

-He talks in his sleep,if he gets sleep

-He has a fear of clowns,thunder and lightning.While he enjoys a nice calm day with rain and a little thunder,if the thunder gets worse he gets scared.He will never admit that though.

-Has a thing for facepaint

-He loves drinking ice tea,and Fanta

-He sleeps in a too big t-shirt,it's white with some purple,and a giant 13 on the front and back,and plaid pants

-He doesn't swear out loud,unless you anger him or if he's in costume {More specifically,Mutt}

-He has little drawings all over his journal

-The smell of alcohol disgusts him

-Not a bad singer

-Likes camping

-Has gotten stitches on his back after playing rugby.This was before they moved to South Park.

-Loves to climb trees

-He is right handed,but,has the ability to write with his left hand too

-Has never been to the beach

-Still has a probe up his ass

-Still has some gnome dust hidden in his drawer in case of emergency

-Very clumsy {gets him in lots of amusi- I mean embarrassing situations}

-He's very protective over the ones he loves,so,if he fights a guy,takes hits for you or if he gives you his hoodie,know he cares

-Likes spooky scary skeletons

-Has fallen off the back of a truck (don't worry,it wasn't moving)

-Has gotten lost in a corn field (don't ask how or why)

-Favorite food is tacos

-Genius

-Not a bad shot with a bow and crossbow,but prefers melee weapons like swords,spears and such

-His class during the wizard and humans vs elves thing (Stick of Truth) was mage.He likes messing with fire and fireworks.

-He ditched Cartman the moment Kyle asked him to join the elves instead.While he likes Butters and Kenny,Cartman's too bossy for his liking.Kyle is much cooler and he likes hanging with Stan and Jimmy.

-His classes before Doctor Timothy allowed him to have every class during the superhero thing (Fractured but whole) were Blaster - Elementalist - Assassin - Plantmancer

-When they played pirates,he was a navigator and scout

-While they were acting out a zombie apocalypse,he was a group leader

-He has two superhero personalities During missions with the others,he is Chaos Destroyer.He based it off his gamer tag,which is ChaoticDestroyer.He wears skeleton facepaint,a dark red cloak,black shirt underneath with a blood red skull n crossbones,a tool belt (with daggers,fireworks,the works),and dark grey pants,with black combat boots.

One night he took on a wolf like persona because there wasn't time to get into normal costume {It was on a special mission,with literally only one of the guys}.While this one doesn't have an official name,he was called quite a few...some obviously worse than others.He refers to the persona as Mutt.He wears his PJs,his wolf hat,a dark hoodie,claw like slippers,fingerless gloves and his dog's spiked collar.He then uses his apocalypse ready baseball bat,and his flip knife as weapons.He's a little more open to express his opinion as this persona. "I'm gonna break your fcking skull and snap your neck." "I got called a furry.Like bitch,do I look like Cartman to you?"

-His kryptonite is math.Math scares him {and me}

-If he was a companion,his SoT moves would consist mostly of fire related attacks.He would have the ability to heal too.His FbW moves depend on persona.As CD,his normal moves would consist of one heal/protection move,one ranged move and one close combat move...all which I'm unsure about.Ultimate would have a similarity to Kyle's one move from SoT.An army of skeletons firing arrows on command at a big part of the board. As Mutt,his moves consist of melee based attacks and one protection/heal.One with his baseball bat {knockback},one with his knife {causes bleeding}.His heal/protection would make him switch places with another player.His ultimate....I don't know.Will probably only have an effect on one enemy.

-Both personas have comments on everything.Because of skeleton like appearance,CD likes using skeleton related puns.As an example. "I've got a bone to pick with you assholes." "You don't even have the guts to take me on." {Winning a battle} "Looks like these freaks didn't have the spine/backbone to take us on." {Going down in battle} "Tibia honest,I was getting bone tired anyway."

Mutt on the other hand...has no puns,only sarcasm,and normal commentary...If his pals go down,he'll have a nicer choice of words to say to them...and still some angry words to the enemies,'specially the ones hitting his pals.Maybe a threat or two and growling. "I'm ready to kick some ass and take names." "You okay there? No? ALRIGHT WHICH ONE OF YOU ASSHOLES DID IT?!" "Who wants me to knock their ass out with my bat?!"

I’ll probably add more stuff as it comes to mind.

[shockcity]

Bagginshield #6 - wearing each other’s clothes

Rating: M Summary: for the 30 Day OTP Challenge. A mix up with the hotel dry cleaning service leaves Bilbo and Thorin in love ill-fitted suits. AU - Modern Setting 

What happens is this:

1. O'Hare to LAX on a red-eye 2. a chicken salad sandwich 3. Dwalin's advice

Alternatively: he is exhausted, covered in food stains, and who the hell wears a suit on a plane? You just have to break it in, Dwalin had said, as if he had any idea how to fashion (Dwalin had worn a suit a total of zero times, and hadn't even dressed up for his own wedding). Breaking in said suit (and his only suit, mind) had resulted in a sandwich oozing down his front and a minor panic over what the hell Thorin was supposed to do now.

The conference was at noon and it was just past 10, and the only change of clothes he'd brought was a pair of old jeans, an AC/DC shirt, and some severely out-of-style walking shoes. He couldn't go in street clothes, and there wasn't enough time to find and buy a suit before he was supposed to be at the convention center for the presentation. He was so screwed.

He texted Dwalin.

"Does this hotel have dry cleaning?" he obediently asked the concierge.

She was tall, tan, and beautiful, and maybe a clone, since he was pretty sure a girl that looked just like her had been his flight attendant, had worked at a Starbucks around the block, and had bumped into him in the lobby while she was distracted with her phone. Thorin squinted at her suspiciously. Clones.

A large, fake smile stretched across her face. "Of course, sir," she said, her teeth very straight and very white. "This is the Omni."

Thorin wasn't sure if she was being condescending or not, since the smile was really throwing him off. Thorin was from Chicago. Los Angeles made no sense. They did indeed have dry cleaning. Awesome.

"Can you rush this?" he said, holding up his suit. "I have to be at the convention center in an hour."

He expected her to say, "of course, sir, this is the Omni," again, but instead she kindly told him that it was no problem and took his suit away. He breathed a sigh of relief.  

--------

What happens is this:

1. Everything that could have possibly gone wrong 2. went wrong 3. with feeling

Heathrow to LAX, sleepless layover at JFK, luggage lost from London to New York to Los Angeles, apparently nonexistent hotel reservations, and one skinny soy vanilla latte topped with whipped cream spilled all down his front. Why the soy? No one knows.

Bilbo was admittedly a dramatic little shit, but he was pretty sure that his current crisis would test even the patience of a saint. In a panic, he'd practically shoved his suit into the concierge's arms the moment he had arrived at the Omni. This was before he realized that his reservations had apparently been cancelled, of course.

After a good few minutes of hemming and hawing on the concierge's end, and some seriously explosive sighing on his, Bilbo was finally checked in and guaranteed that his suit would be cleaned by noon. Yeah, right.

In a terrible temper, Bilbo slammed into his hotel room and threw his carry-on bag onto the bed. He landed on his back next to it, hands pressed against his eyes.

He was frustrated, and tired, and nervous about his being the stupid keynote speaker when everyone knew he had terrible stage fright. All he wanted was to get this over with and go home. Or at least sleep a little, even if just for an hour.

But he needed a goddamn suit, so he sighed and texted Prim.

He took his cousin's advice and called the front desk, Yelping each recommendation they gave him. Bilbo had just found a four and a half star tailor on Pico when a new text from Ori came in.

He...wow.

This day.

He buried his head into his pillow and had a good long scream.

His phone continued to buzz as Ori lost whatever chill he had once had, which was none, so he was in the negatives and Bilbo could not keep ignoring him. Resignedly, he picked his phone up and engaged in a long and drawn out text conversation that consisted of two electronically illiterate historians troubleshooting everything and turning things on and off while holding down random control keys. Nothing happened. Go figure.

Finally, just as Bilbo, too, had realized the inevitable, Ori decided enough was enough.

This fucking day.

-----

"Listen, I'm sorry," Thorin said, checking his watch again. "I really need my suit."

"Of course, sir, we're bringing it out now."

He was late and would have to change in the bathroom at the convention center and it was almost noon and they'd said it would be done already and they were getting such a bad review on Yelp, he swore to god...

Finally, they handed him a dress bag and he yelled a quick thank you and sprinted out of the hotel.

Of course it wasn't his suit in the bag. That would be silly.

-----

"Thank you so much," said Bilbo, practically snatching the dress bag from the hotel worker. It was ten till and he was on in twenty, and he was cutting it way too close. Despite his snappishness with the poor bellboy, he did tip well, considering they'd done as requested and had gone out of their way to deliver his suit to the conference. They were maybe even worth four stars on Yelp. Maybe.

Across the convention center, Thorin was gazing at his entirely too tight suit in shock and confusion. The pants were too short and his socks were showing. This...was a nightmare.

-----

Unintelligible screaming suddenly erupted from the men's room. Worried, Ori shuffled over and tapped on the door.

"Bilbo?"

"GOD BUGGERING SHIT."

"Ok."

-----

Bilbo had no choice but to deliver his speech in a suit that belonged to someone far bulkier and taller than him. He was positively swimming in it and he felt like an absolute fool.

Thorin sat down and ripped his pants.

-----

Afterward, there was socializing to be done and alcoholic drinks to be had, but Bilbo had no desire to join in, nor could he abide remaining in this awful suit for a second longer.

"I'm going back to the hotel," he sighed at Ori. "Then I'm going to sleep for twelve hours. And cry a little. Okay, a lot."

"You did great, Bilbo, really!" said Ori, his eyes big and honest.

"Sure." He waved a hand. "I'll text you when I've gotten my dignity back. Say hello to Dwalin for me."

"Will do!" Ori wiggled his fingers goodbye. "Good luck!"

He headed for the exit, following the crowd of people that were also cutting out early. Thank god for antisocial history geeks, Bilbo thought, distracted. That's how he bumped into someone practically running for the door.

The man had his hands over his arse, believe it or not, and he was sweating nervously as he sprinted past. Bilbo had looked up, ready to eviscerate this violator of his personal space verbally, but then stopped.

"You."

"You!"

He took a moment to look at Thorin Oakenshield properly, and then gaped at him – scandalized.

"That's my suit!”

----

What happened was this:

7 months earlier

1. "Hi. I'm Bilbo Baggins." 2. "Thorin Oakenshield." 3. "You're a linguist aren't you? Yes, I've heard about you. You specialize in Khuzdul. You know, I wrote a paper on the similarities between Quenya and Khuzdul and it turns out they're a lot alike. Ereborians, for example, took elements of Woodland phrasing and passed them off as their own, and according to–" 4. "...oh, is he leaving? Did I say something wrong?"

5 months earlier

1. A job offer 2. A formal meeting 3. "Mr. Baggins. Yes, I remember you. At least you don't look like a grocer today." 4. target acquired.

2 months earlier

1. "Chicago isn't much different from any other city, and Prim is there, and Ori...so I'll think about it, yeah." 2. Another formal meeting 3. UST 4. "That Baggins is a menace." 5. "Oakenshield can kiss my ass." 6. Let simmer.

Now

"You."

"You!"

"That's my suit!"

"And that's mine," said Thorin, peering at him confusedly. "There...was... a mix up."

"Obviously," Bilbo seethed. "Unless you just go around stealing people's clothes."

Thorin, thankfully, did not engage.

"SorryBagginsIhavetogo," he squeaked, and tried to edge away with his hands still firmly placed on his posterior.

"Hold on, what have you done?!"

There was no use trying to stop Bilbo from tearing his hands away and seeing the damage. Bilbo was truly an unstoppable force, and Thorin, from the very beginning of their rocky acquaintance, had been left utterly speechless in Bilbo's presence (either because Bilbo was aggravating him into silence or because he couldn't quite believe just how much noise was coming out of this little angry cinnamon roll person). And now Bilbo was pushing him toward the door and making demands. As was his wont.

"And I want my suit back! What's left of it! And take your hands off your butt."

Thorin groaned. "Let me at least have some dignity."

"No."

They took a cab back to the Omni and argued the entire way there, annoying the cab driver enough that at one point he laid on the horn to shut them up. Once they arrived, Thorin immediately set off for his rooms with Bilbo following closely behind. He didn't trust that Thorin would give him his suit back. Whatever.

In the hotel room, Bilbo was inspecting the state of his ripped pants sadly. Thorin stood there in his boxers, feeling a little guilty despite himself.

"I didn't think this day could get any worse," Bilbo sighed. "That was my favorite suit."

Thorin shifted from foot to foot. "Ah. Sorry."

For a second, it looked as though Bilbo was going to forgive him. For a second, his face was open and soft and friendly. And then the diva came rushing right back and they were squabbling heatedly again.

Neither of them knew who kissed who first and later they'd argue about that too.

----

It was cold out on the balcony, but the room was non-smoking and Bilbo was sorry, but the post-coital cigarette was not overrated, and Thorin (who he could see was peering at him from the bed) seemed rather pleased with how Bilbo looked out here; freezing bollocks and all. So pleased, in fact, that Thorin came out to join him.

Bilbo turned to gaze at the flat, sparkling city, as arms wrapped around him from behind.

"Are you wearing my shirt?" Thorin whispered into his ear, his hands running up and down Bilbo's stomach.

"And nothing else," Bilbo teased. "I wanted to feel like I was in a movie."

Thorin kissed his neck, and that was very nice indeed. "Well, you're in the right place."

"Hmm."

Bilbo finished his cigarette and crushed it on the edge of the balcony. He closed his eyes, swaying a little as Thorin teased his neck, strong hips moving against him. "Mmm, you want to have another go?” said Bilbo. “My flight's not until tomorrow night."

Thorin abruptly drew away, and Bilbo felt a rush of confusion and panic. He turned around in Thorin's arms and stared up at him, scowling.

"Why've you suddenly gone cold?" he asked suspiciously.

"I'm not," Thorin lied, trying to keep his face expressionless.

"You have," Bilbo insisted, planting his hands on his hips. "What's the problem? Are you regretting this now?"

He looked taken aback. "No! No, not...." He cleared his throat. "Not at all."

Bilbo glared at him. "Then what, Thorin?"

"The, uh, long distance relationships...thing. I'm not...I've never...."

Relieved, but still a bit frustrated, Bilbo huffed and shook his head. "Honestly? That's your problem? Lord."

Thorin opened his mouth to protest, his expression angry now, but Bilbo held up his hand.

"Now, I'm not saying that it has anything to do with you," Bilbo told him sternly. "But I've decided to take the job."

Thorin gaped for a moment.

"In Chicago?"

Bilbo rolled his eyes. "Yes, in Chicago. So...we wouldn't be long distance. Conveniently enough. I mean since I'd already decided to move before we had sex. So don't get cocky. Oi! Get that look off your face...."

Thorin was smirking. "Uh huh," he said. "Nothing to do with me. Right."

Bilbo only shook his head, and reached out and pulled Thorin close again. They kissed, hot and wet and new, and Bilbo couldn't help but arch toward that strong, wide chest. "Mmmm," he murmured, pulling away. "Just FYI, I'm keeping this shirt."

Thorin grinned against his mouth. "How about now?" he said, and then ripped the dress shirt open. Buttons pinged on the railing and a couple flew off into the night.

"GAH! Thorin!!”

BONUS

[theycallherchaos-blog]

Who was your childhood crush? The first crushes I remember were on a boy named Matt and a girl named Jessica when I was in kindergarten.

Do you like Red Bull? It’s not my favorite, but I’ll drink it.

Do you drink regular or diet sodas? Either one, but mostly regular.

Would you rather eat your pizza cold or hot? Either.

What are you doing tomorrow? Wednesday? Working. Cooking orange chicken. I live an exciting life. ;)

Are you over the age of 21? Yes.

Would you rather date a girl/guy with a British accent or an Irish accent? I really couldn’t care less.

Where is the biggest scar on your body? I have mostly small ones. I have one on my leg from a bike accident when I was nine, one on my forehead from picking a scab when I was three, one under my nose from falling in the shower while drunk in 2011, one on my ass cheek from falling onto the tub while drunk in 2007, and a few smaller ones from picking at my skin because of my dermatillomania (sp?).

Are you trying to avoid something by filling surveys out? I’m procrastinating on work.

Have you ever had fake nails? No.

Do you say the “f” word a lot? Yes. It’s my favorite word.

Has someone seen you naked in the past month? Yes.

Does everyone deserve a second chance? No.

How many concerts have you been to? I’ve never been to a big one.

When is the last time you wore a dress? 2012. I don’t like dresses or skirts much.

Do you believe in karma? Not really. Too many bad people never see it come back to them.

How many days until your next birthday? 8 months and three days.

What are your plans for this weekend? Working and maybe hanging out with my nephew.

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Only if Greg does it.

What’s irritating you right now? My tooth won’t stop hurting.

Is there anyone you wish was still in your life? Yeah.

Do you get distracted easily? Very unless it’s something I actually want to be immersed in. Life of an Aspie.

Is this year the best year of your life? It actually has been pretty awesome. Maybe not the best but in the top five.

Do you have a best friend? Yes and no. My best friend was Amanda. We were friends since first grade but she died in 2014. I have two people whom I know are always there for me, Jessica and Jamie, but they both live far away. I wish I had a local best friend.

Do you think it’s right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced? Yes. It’s their tongue. Who gives a fuck? Besides, it feels good for me. ;)

Last thing you drank? 7UP.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? Yes, but I always chicken out.

Would you marry for money? Nope.

Have you had braces? No, but I wish I had.

You sleep more on your back, front,or sides? Sides or stomach.

Do you get along with your parents? My mom and stepdad. I don’t speak to my dad often. I suppose we get along when I do but only because I bite my tongue.

Have you ever had a birthday party? Yeah.

What should you be doing right now? Working.

How do you feel about your life right now? A little stressed about my physical health but good overall.

How’s this week been? Uneventful.

What happened at 11:30 am today? Its only 6AM.

How did you feel when you woke up today? I haven’t gone to bed yet.

Kiss on the first date? If there’s chemistry.

Would you ever donate blood? Yes.

Have you ever driven without a license? Yes.

What time did you go to sleep last night? I napped from 11:45 to 1:50.

Where did you buy the shirt you’re wearing now? Torrid.

Did you sing at all today? I haven’t yet but knowing me, I will.

When’s the last time you cried? I don’t remember.

Do you believe in love? Yes.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked? I was interested in a guy named Justin. It didn’t pan out.

Two days from now this time, where will you be? Sleeping.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? My boyfriend.

Have you ever thought you were going to marry someone? Yes. I’ve been engaged a couple of times. I’m glad they didn’t work out.

Do you get butterflies around the person you like? Sometimes.

Who was the first person you talked to today? Greg when he woke up to get a drink.

Do you smoke weed everyday? No. I’m slightly allergic and I hate how it makes me feel anyway.

Could you go a month without cursing? Nope.

Have you ever ridden a horse? When I was 8. I fell off.

You can take one friend on vacation with you, who? Who has money for vacations?

You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life, what is it? Water.

Have you ever been nice to someone who treated you like crap? Yes. I try to be nice to everyone.

Are you anything like you were at this point last year? Not particularly. I’ve changed a lot.

Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn’t? Yes.

When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? When I found out Amanda died.

Who are your favorite people to talk to when you’re down? Myself. You guys, I guess?

Does the person you like, like you back? Yes. We live together.

When’s the last time you talked with the opposite gender on the phone? Who? A few days ago. Greg.

Do you think you are a good person? Yes.

What did you do today? Watched Supernatural, played Bingo Blitz, looked at Tumblr, wrote for work.

What will you be doing in 3 hours? Working.

Do you miss the way things used to be? Some things, sometimes.

Have you held hands with anyone in the past three months? Yes.

Does anyone call you baby? Yeah.

Are you a patient person? It depends on the situation.

What were you doing this morning at 8AM? It isn’t 8AM yet.

Have you ever thought you liked someone, and then found out that you really didn’t? Often.

Do you believe ex’s can be friends? Yes. I’m friends with a couple of mine.

What is the last thing you said out loud? Holy shit.

Are you ticklish? Yes and I hate it.

Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Often.

Do you like to text or call more? Texting. I hate talking on the phone.

Do you have any kids? No.

What are you wearing right now? A white tee-shirt that says “Ok but first I need sleep” and blue Doctor Who leggings.

How was your day? It’s okay so far.

What color are your eyes? Green.

What are you listening to? Birds chirping.

[waffle--kun-blog]

Answer them all (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*) this is what I'm gonna tell you when you reblog an ask thing, always.

WHAT

BUT

AAAAAAAAAAAH

WHY DO YOU DO THIS AGHSJDFKG

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My girlfriend.. I’M STARTING TO ANSWER AND I’M GLARING AT YOU EMILIA2. Are you outgoing or shy? Aaahh outgoing!!3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My girlfriend AND my cup of coffee tomorrow morning~4. Are you easy to get along with? ..I hope I am!5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Yes..6. What kind of people are you attracted to? … Uhm.. next question all right~7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I.. hope so..8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? All of my friends right now, I’m talking to them! And my girlfriend, always9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? … Yes,  but eehhrr I know I probably shouldn’t, so.. I try to act normally…10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Stella probably!!11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “What?” AHAH12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Neptune, Saturn, Venus by Sleeping At Last, Forest Fires by Axel Flovent, and.. uhm… I know it’s four songs, but I wouldn’t know which one could be the fifth!13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? I’d say yes!14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Y E S15. What good thing happened this summer? I got in a relationship with the person who is my girlfriend right now!16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes!17. Do you think there is life on other planets? OF COURSE WHAT YES YES18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Nooooo ahah it’s been way too many years!! But I recently talked to her once because she casually found my number again!19. Do you like bubble baths? Mmhhh.. I can tell you that I like bubbles and I like baths!20. Do you like your neighbors? Yes, they’re really kind, especially the ones who live in front of us!21. What are your bad habits? I wouldn’t know.. I procrastinate? ahsdjfgk22. Where would you like to travel? The entire universe~23. Do you have trust issues? Nonononono24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Talking to others and looking up at the sky.25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? .. I wouldn’t know..26. What do you do when you wake up? I immediately try to remember my dreams!27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Oh I’m actually okay with the way I am, luckily!28. Who are you most comfortable around? Kind of all of my friends, but mostly my girlfriend.29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Yes.30. Do you ever want to get married? I’M WAITING FOR THAT31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? NOOO AHAHAHAH32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? … what…….33. Spell your name with your chin. CHRFJDGZB NO ALL RIGHT34. Do you play sports? What sports? Can overthinking be considered a sport because ahsdjfkg35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Without TV, I actually don’t watch it often.. I’d never want to live without music!36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Uhmm.. no..37. What do you say during awkward silences? I think I often say something that comes to my mind like “That cloud looks like a horse”, or I simply ask “how are you?”38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Neeeext question~39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? There are very interesting shops here about Harry Potter and other fantasy series and just fantasy things in general, they even sell swords and fairy statues, they’re so magical.. oh and old fashioned shops that sell particular types of food and other things that you wouldn’t normally find, there’s one here in Italy called “Castroni” and I love it! 40. What do you want to do after high school? I’m already there, ahah! I wanted to study philosophy and here I am~41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yes.42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I wouldn’t know really! Maybe I’m really sad or wondering if planets have feelings.43. Do you smile at strangers? Yes and it makes me happy for some reason! I just hope they don’t find me creepy44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? AH. AAAH AH OUTER SPACE O U T ER SPACE O U T E R S P A C E OU T ER SP-45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? The fear that I’ll miss the train asdfghhjk46. What are you paranoid about? ….47. Have you ever been high? Noooo48. Have you ever been drunk? NOOOOOOOOOO49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? I ATE ALL THE COOKIES FROM THE PACKAGE AND MY MOTHER STILL DOESN’T KNOW50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Grey.51. Ever wished you were someone else? Maybe not..52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? .. I wish I didn’t have such a hard time making decisions sometimes.53. Favourite makeup brand? AHAHAH I DON’T KNOW I’ll let you know though!!54. Favourite store? Read the question 39~55. Favourite blog? All of my friends’ blogs!56. Favourite colour? Periwinkle YOU GUYS DON’T CALL IT INDIGO APPARENTLY AH57. Favourite food? Chocolate and antything sweet!58. Last thing you ate? Boiled eggs and carrots.59. First thing you ate this morning? I didn’t really “eat” anything, I only had coffee!60. Ever won a competition? For what? Uhm.. maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.. I don’t remember ahah!61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Never ever sh62. Been arrested? For what? NOOOO WHAT63. Ever been in love? I don’t know.. I don’t know what true love feels like, or if I do but I don’t realize it, maybe yes.. 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? Oh I had just gotten in a relationship with my ex girlfriend, and I kissed her when I told her how I felt about her and she said she felt the same way.65. Are you hungry right now? Not really! Or maybe a little bit!66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I LIKE EVERYONE STOP67. Facebook or Twitter? Twitter!68. Twitter or Tumblr? TUMBLR SADLY69. Are you watching tv right now? Nope~70. Names of your bestfriends? SSSHH71. Craving something? What? The mineral…BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH 2013 MEMES72. What colour are your towels? Mostly white!72. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two pillows.73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yes ahah they’ll always be on my bed!74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Mmhhh.. maybe 20 or so..75. Favourite animal? Horses, cats and birds!76. What colour is your underwear? NO. ASDHFJGK. NO.77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Both!78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Everything that involves chocolate and cream!79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Dark blue.80. What colour pants? Black 81. Favourite tv show? Does Code Geass count? ahsjdfkg82. Favourite movie? A movie I couldn’t tell in English, but the Italian title is “Al di la’ dei sogni”.. and .. uhmm.. I need to think about this, I think there are a lot of them but I wouldn’t be able to make a list now!83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? I never watched them!!84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? I never watched these either ahsjdfkg85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? AAH I DON’T KNOW I’M SORRY86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? I couldn’t tell! I’d need to rewatch it, but maybe Dory!87. First person you talked to today? Stella, SAY HIIIIIIIIII88. Last person you talked to today? My girlfriend for now!89. Name a person you hate? myfather I don’t hate anyone.

90. Name a person you love? My mother!

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Myself, all the time92. In a fight with someone? Uhm.. if you mean if I’m a fight at the moment.. no, I think.. 93. How many sweatpants do you have? Maybe just one or two!94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? EEEEEH. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH I LOVE HOODIES AND SWEATERS SO.. 100000000000000000000095. Last movie you watched? Does an X-Files episode count?? 96. Favourite actress? I wouldn’t know..97. Favourite actor? Nnnhhhh… I don’t know, I’m sorry!98. Do you tan a lot? Kind of, yes!99. Have any pets? A cat and a parrot and I love them so much aahh100. How are you feeling? ..I’m fine… coUGH101. Do you type fast? yeeeeEEEESS AND I’M STILL SURPRISED THAT I MAKE A LOT OF TYPOS102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yes, and no..103. Can you spell well? Ahah probably! 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes.105. Ever been to a bonfire party? What is it?? 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? .. I wish I could say no… but..107. Have you ever been on a horse? I went to horseback riding for years!108. What should you be doing? STUDYING. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH109. Is something irritating you right now? … Irritating me… nothing! I just don’t really get “irritated”.110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? .. Eeeh..111. Do you have trust issues? Mh? Didn’t you already ask this? MMH112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? I don’t remember.. ..113. What was your childhood nickname? Oh I should ask my mother, but I’ve always been called Chris by my friends even back then!114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yuup115. Do you play the Wii? It’s a miracle that I’ve had a Nintendo DS ahsdjfgkh116. Are you listening to music right now? No, but I’m going to!117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? OH YES!!!!! YES!118. Do you like Chinese food? Is spring rolls considered Chinese food? I wouldn’t know, but I’d like to try it, I love trying food from other countries!119. Favourite book? It usually changes depending on what I find!120. Are you afraid of the dark? No, I actually like it..121. Are you mean? YES. VERY. I’M GOING TO STEAL ALL YOUR WAFFLES AND EAT THEM ALL BWHAHAHAHAHAH122. Is cheating ever okay? .. I…- … ..is killing people ever okay.. ?123. Can you keep white shoes clean? NOOOO NOT EVEN THE BLACK ONES 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? .. I strongly believe that you need to build a connection with someone to fall in love, but.. love has no logic so I wouldn’t know.. I’ve happened to fall for someone at first sight… I couldn’t compare it to what I feel when I fall for someone after getting to know them though. I do feel that there’s something different. But to me, love takes place between souls and they need to get to know each other somehow. BUT AT THE SAME TIME I BELIEVE IN EVERYTHING125. Do you believe in true love? Of course!126. Are you currently bored? Not really~127. What makes you happy? Philosophy, the universe, waffles, my friends, my girlfriend, my pets, my mother, the sky…128. Would you change your name? Actually, no! 129. What your zodiac sign? Pisces130. Do you like subway? I’ve never been there!131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? .. Ah.. ah.. ahah… … uhm.. I.. never knew what to do..132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? STELLA ONCE AGAIN SAY HIIIIIIII but wait, didn’t you already ask this? Or is it my impression??133. Favourite lyrics right now? “At first I thought you were a constellation, I made a map of your stars then I had a revelation”134. Can you count to one million? Aahsdjfg noo135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I wouldn’t know! Perhaps “I’m fine” while obviously having a breakdown136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Open, mmh I feel like this says something about people..137. How tall are you? 178 cm, last time I checked.138. Curly or Straight hair? Wait wait what are we talking about??139. Brunette or Blonde? WAIT WAIT WHAT140. Summer or Winter? WINTER AAAHH WINTER WINTER!! I CAN’T STAND SUMMER IT’S TOO HOT141. Night or Day? Night, and the moon and the stars~142. Favourite month? December!143. Are you a vegetarian? Noope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk and white chocolate because they’re sweeter, but I just really love chocolate in general!145. Tea or Coffee? Both, but maybe coffee.. 146. Was today a good day? … Ahah not really buuuut147. Mars or Snickers? HA! Snickers!148. What’s your favourite quote? The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.149. Do you believe in ghosts? YEEEEEEEEEEEEEES ALSO IN ALIENS150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? ..OH.   “Names of stars and constellations were taking the place of a wonderful dream, where me and my parents were having lunch next to a river. Andromeda, Cassiopea, Centauri, and many other names from space were pronounced by his warm voice.” YOU MAY CALL THIS FATE. It’s a book that my girlfriend gave me because it reminded her of me, there’s one of the main characters who’s in love with stars and he talks about them all the time.

[ecotone99]

[SP] Tales From The Nowhere Pub - The Captain's Visit

[Author's Note: This is the second in what was to be a series of short stories, all of which were set in this one location, The Nowhere Pub. This story inserted what was to be the sort of ... on-going semi-formulaic description of the pub - so that the stories didn't require being read in any particular sequence, or even together. I'll provide a link to the first story (which introduces the Pub) in a comment. Unfortunately, after this story, the third story in the series fell very short and just didn't "come together" and then my muse departed me. In any event, please enjoy!]

​

Captain Llewellyn Gavin Crayford — “Captain Crayford” to many, “Cap” or “Cap’n” to most of his crew, and “LG” to his friends — disembarked from his ship, Running Light, with a sigh. Most of his crew were already off the ship, glad to have some shore leave. His ship was now officially down for maintenance for at least a week, with just a rotating skeleton crew for the duration. The Chief Engineer and he had agreed that the three starboard Quadron Engines were running hot and there was too much risk of them failing at just the wrong moment the next time they got into combat. Thankfully, LG had enough of the right contacts to get them bumped almost to the top of the list for maintenance here, much to the probable consternation of other ships and their crews. His ship would be next-but-one to get a maintenance crew swarming all over her. After all, official Imperial Naval ships always got first priority.

As he always did when he disembarked, he turned back to look at her. She was a sleek ship, occasionally glinting against the endless darkness behind her as some of the dock lights flashed off her hull. Sure, she showed some scorch marks here and there, and some mild pitting from hitting various things, but, aside from the engine issues, she was about as ready to go as the first day he’d gotten her. Running Light had seen many docks and many stations, but every time he saw her like this, he couldn’t help but think back to how she became his.

# # #

His was to be the next name put onto The List. Being on The List meant he was now officially in the queue for promotion to the then-exalted rank of Captain — granted his own ship and allowed to run it however he saw fit. Well, run it according to the dictates of the Imperial Navy, that is. The very next day after learning he was about to get on The List, he was summoned to the High Admiral’s office and shown in without delay, something that never happened. The Admiral, alone in his office, explained that Crayford had shown “promise” — the Admiral had accentuated that with actual air-quotes. And, as such, he had been selected for an opportunity that would never happen again for him. This was a one-time offer, and he would have to accept or reject it before he walked out of the office — no mark against him for rejecting it.

The “advantages” (air-quotes again) of this offer were that he would get a ship; he would even be allowed to name her (something every officer dreamed of but was impossible for Naval ships unless you were supremely — one might even say “imperially” — well-connected). He’d barely have an initial crew to run her — just enough to get her undocked and dock somewhere else. But he could hire, fire, and promote crew as he wished beyond that. Promotions for any of her crew, though, would be with the understanding that any ranks he appointed would be, at best, provisional within the normal hierarchy. Any of his crew wanting to transfer to regular service could expect the loss of a couple of ranks and would then discover the need to prove themselves all over again.

All of that for his own ship, though! His orders would, however, be in a much … “grayer zone” (the air-quotes had become almost worrisome by this point). There would be a great deal of latitude provided, but he generally would still be held to the mandates of the Imperial Navy, and dire consequences would befall him and his entire crew if he ever went completely rogue.

Of course, he’d barely needed enough time to draw a breath before agreeing and accepting.

# # #

Having gotten past his usual reminiscences, LG decided it was time for a drink. It wouldn’t do to be completely unpresentable when wandering the dull monochrome corridors and tubes of the station, so he looked at himself in a reflection off the large floor-to-ceiling window he’d just used to look at his ship. He slowly assessed what he was wearing from head to toe.

The cap needed to be straightened, and the rank insignia on his dark gray jacket — shoulders and collars — were dusty as they’d sat in a chest since the last time he’d been on a station. The jacket was open and hanging, showing a white linen shirt underneath, unbuttoned halfway down, of course — there are limits to how much he would do to make himself pretty.

The standard naval bright blue sash had been replaced with a dark blue sash with bright blue tips, barely connected by some haphazard loose thread. Just below his sash on his left hip was his saber — peace cord clearly visible, and on his right, his holstered blaster snapped closed. Black pants with no other discernible markings ended with his boots revealed underneath. The boots were sorely in need of polishing, but the operating budget for the Running Light, substantial though it was, didn’t exactly include enough for a captain’s cabin boy.

Adjusting his cap and pulling down on the hem of his jacket to straighten it slightly, he knew exactly where he wanted to go for a drink, and even knew just how to get there. That path started with asking a random passing station spacer how to get to a maintenance bay that LG already knew was on the distant other side of the giant station.

After getting a very convoluted set of directions, he closed his eyes to pick a different direction and then started walking. Opening his eyes again after he was moving, he purposefully made five wrong turns (not that they could have been the right ones given his starting direction) and wound up in a corridor that looked just like all of the others. The difference, of course, was that this one wasn’t on any of the station maps. Halfway down the corridor, with one of the wall-lights flickering occasionally, there was a very incongruous door.

There was nothing remarkable about there being doors in a station. But they didn’t normally have handles and hinges. Usually, doors slid aside into the walls or retracted into ceilings — they didn’t swing open. A smile started to form on his face as he realized he had, once again, made it to the Pub.

# # #

The pub he’d gotten to is, of course, the Nowhere Pub. It is a multi-dimensional, cross time and space, pub. Try and conjure from the deepest recesses of your mind the darkest, seemingly most unfriendly, not-where-you-belong pub. Now magnify that several times. You might just come close to the interior of the Pub. There are tables scattered across the floor and around the edges of the room — which is barely visible. On each table is something which you would think are candles — you’d be wrong — providing barely flickering sparks of light.

There are similar lights hanging over the bar. Behind the bar are several taps for beer and ale — all of which are unlabeled, having merely blank wooden pull-levers attached to them. There’s a multitude of bottles against the back wall, either similarly unlabeled or with labels that are impossible to see or read. Of course, the Pub has a bartender. He’s usually a cheerful sort and, when not serving drinks, spends most of his time polishing the glasses and mugs.

What’s the allure of the Pub? It’s got a few.

For one thing, any drink that exists — somewhere or somewhen — is available to you. Name a beer, and they’ve not only got it, but it’s on tap. Pick a vintage liquor, and they’ll have a bottle — open and waiting to serve you a shot. If you insist on a cocktail, hardly a favorite of the usual clientele, the bartender will have just the perfect ingredients for the absolutely best version of it you’ve ever tasted.

And the clientele — Ah, you’ll find all sorts here; ranging from barbarians just walked in out of icy tundra, to nomadic priests finally made it out of the desert, all the way to space marine officers who’ve come out of a successful battle. This is where they go to have a drink, or five, and relax.

The Pub is where stories are swapped. Just don’t try to start a fight. You’ll get one warning from the bartender that behaving that way will require him to call the Bouncer to put an end to it. That always settles the point.

Oh, and the other distinction about the Pub? It’s got two kinds of customers. The Regulars and the One-Timers. You don’t know which one you are until you try and find the Pub again. The Regulars can always find their way back. The door they open to leave the pub will always be the same door they used to enter it — returning them back to wherever they came from.

As for the One-Timers? Well — they get one chance. No one else uses that door? They’re headed back home and never finding it again. They go out through a different door, though, and who knows where they’re headed or if they’re ever coming back.

How do you figure out which type of customer you are? You walk out the door and see what happens. Or, you discover you can find the Pub again.

Sometimes, though, the Pub seems to be good at finding just the right One-Timers. They need a drink. They need to hear some stories. They need … something.

No matter what, the Pub is always an interesting place to visit — if all you’re doing is visiting.

# # #

The door swung open, and he stepped inside, closing it behind him to try and avoid blinding everyone inside with the cold, sterile lights of the station. His eyes adjusted to the darkness and flickering not-candle lights. While he waited, he heard the bartender call to him, “Captain! Come on in! You’ve got a drink waiting for you from last time!”

LG made his way to where the stools were, grabbing one and swinging himself onto it. “First off, I’ve told you — in here, it’s LG. Captain is for when I’m working, and I come here to get away from work! Now, what’s this about a drink? Gods, I still remember the last time I was here. What, by the stars, was the fermented piss that guy shared with me? I wanted to claw my eyes out by the time I got back to my ship.”

The bartender smiled. “That, Captain,” he emphasized the word, “was Blue Dragon Piss, casked in the 24th year of His Supreme Brightness Kalveriaw’s Throne, and bottled in the 16th year of His Supreme Brightness Wranliet’s Throne.” He closed his eyes and looked down at the floor, “Long may their bloodline rule the Twenty-Seven Kingdoms.”

L.G. stared at him, his mouth dropping open. “You just made that shit up while you stood there. ‘Long may their…’ None of that exists, you D’kertian-headed dolt!”

“Well, perhaps not on any of the planets or systems you’ve been to. The gentleman, though, who shared his bottle with you was, unbeknownst to you, showing you a great sign of respect. None but the imperial bloodline and their houses may partake of those beverages. Or, of course, those they choose to share the bottles with.”

“Blue Dragon… You’re kidding, right? And what was with all that jibber-jabber at the end to just name a bottle of booze?”

“I wasn’t kidding. That really was fermented and aged dragon urine. From, as the name indicates, blue dragons. Count yourself lucky he didn’t ask for a bottle of the Purple Dragon. You’d still be wandering around wondering who you were and why you were seeing all the sounds around you. And the jibber-jabber, as you call it, is required to be recited every time we name the bottles. It’s part of the contract that allows us to stock it for those permitted to order it.”

“Sure. Whatever you say.” He thought back over how he’d been greeted when he entered. “What was that about a drink waiting for me?”

“After you downed your … 8th glass … You had felt it necessary to leave, presumably to start the previously-mentioned eyeball-clawing. Before your drinking companion subsequently left, he stated how very much he’d been entertained by your stories about battles in space and aliens. He didn’t believe a word of it but thought you were one of the greatest jesters he’d ever met. So he insisted on leaving a drink for you. He could not leave another shot of the Blue Dragon, so he made sure that your drink would be put on his tab. Thus, your first drink tonight is compliments of Prince Filbrantian, first son, and heir-presumptive, of His Supreme Brightness Wranliet.”

# # #

Since Crayford hadn’t planned on anything refined, he asked the bartender to pick something appropriate so long as there was absolutely no urine or other excrement, from anything or anyone, involved in the collection and fermenting of his drink. The bartender smiled and poured a double shot of something setting the glass next to a mug of ale. “There you go — your first drink of the evening. While it’s customary to drink it as a bomb,” mimicking dropping the glass into the mug, “it is perfectly acceptable to have them separately.”

Just then, the door slammed open, allowing bright light to come streaming in and a brisk, humid air to blow in. Crayford yelled out, “Shut the damn door! You’re letting all the dark out!”

“Sorry, sorry…” A scrawny young man pushed the door closed behind him, pausing as everyone did to adjust to the interior of the pub. He was a sorry sight indeed. It looked to be some sort of naval uniform he was wearing, but what were those? Yes, his jacket had tails! The hat he pulled from his head had definitely seen better days. He had a sack slung over his shoulder.

When the man came over to the bar, it was easier to see that all of his uniform had seen better days. The collars and shoulders had tears, most likely where insignia had been pinned. Almost flinging himself onto a stool, he laid his arms and head on the bar and spoke out of the side of his arms. “Whatever is the strongest, cheapest rum you’ve got. I’m on my last 10 silvers, and I mean to get as solidly drunk as I can before I have to go back out there again and try to figure out what to do next.”

Crayford looked the lad up and down as best he could in the dim light. The other man’s back heaved as if he was trying not to sob. With a quick glance at the bartender for approval, he pushed his glass and mug over. “You look like you need this more than I do. These were a gift from … a friend … So I’m going to pass them on to you. Have a drink. Care to share your story?”

The bartender smiled as if he’d seen this situation many times before. He drew another mug for Crayford and then turned away to start polishing mugs and glasses.

“Thank you.” The young man sniffled and lifted his head. “Drew Ridge. Formerly Lieutenant Ridge, but that stopped being the case just moments ago.” He turned to Crayford, seemed to notice the insignia at his collar and shoulders. “Ah … sir!”

“Well, you guessed right. Captain Crayford, but, in here, I’m just LG. Ranks happen outside of the Pub, not inside. This is where we go to get away from those.”

“Yessir. I mean … Yes, LG, sir. I mean…” Ridge stumbled over his words, trying to get his head straight about what was going on.

Crayford laughed. “Don’t sweat it. Now, what’s this about your … untimely retirement?” He smiled at the seeming witticism.

Ridge winced. “We’d just come back to port. It had been a slow, boring trip for most of the way.”

“They’re all like that. At least right up until they stop being slow and boring. And right then, you’d better be on the top of your game, or you’re the one eating shots instead of drinking them, in odd company, afterwards, eh?”

“Yessir. Well — anyway. We were a couple of weeks out of returning, and I had the watch. I caught sight of a tiny flicker right at the edge. Informed the captain and he trusted my eyes. We set off on a chase. They just didn’t have our speed, though, and we caught ‘em. A couple of shots across their bow and they struck colors! We’d caught one of the last major pirates.” He cleared his throat. “Sorry, privateers … that was harassing our merchant ships.

“Captain told me how well I’d done in noticing it and insisted that I join the prize crew as we brought both ships back home!” Ridge was now almost gleaming with pride and paused to slam down most of the mug, waving it towards the bartender. It was quickly refilled without another word spoken.

“So, after that, we get into port and all of a sudden it’s time for a Reduction of Force, and Crew Dispersal. All officers with ten years or more of service put on half-pay. Everyone else…” He mimicked a salute. “Thanks for your service, and we forgot to tell you that this all happened a month ago, so your prize ship isn’t yours — it’s the full property of the Crown who will do with it as they see fit, but that does not include paying off for the damn thing!”

Ridge tugged at the lapels of his jacket. “All I’ve got is what I’m wearing and what’s in my sack there. They wouldn’t even let us keep our insignia, sir! Said we might allow them to fall into the wrong hands or something. Pulled off and tossed into some bag like they was nothing! … Like … Like … like it was loot, taken by one of the pirates we’d just been fighting!”

# # #

Crayford smiled, a thought forming in his head. He turned to Ridge, “You were a Lieutenant? Good eyes, you say?”

Ridge seemed to perk up a bit with the feeling he could talk about his strengths. “Yessir. Real good eyes! Never needed optics, and no one in my family either!”

“What other ship skills do you have, Ridge?”

“Pretty good navigator; I could always tell where we were by the stars.” Crayford worked to keep himself from laughing. “And I could scramble up the rigging with the best of them. It’s one of the reasons I had that watch. I liked being up there and able to see forever.”

At that, Crayford couldn’t contain himself any longer and had to laugh a moment.

“What about family? Got a woman and kid waiting for you?”

“No, sir. Never had time to get a woman and none of my other family are left anymore.”

“Well … you said your name is Drew?” A quick nod of agreement. “Well, Drew, it just so happens that I actually have my own ship. Captain Llewellyn Gavin Crayford. And I’m always on the lookout for decent officers.”

Ridge’s mouth opened and his eyes brightened. “Sir? You’d take an unknown lieutenant who was just summarily dismissed? You just met me in a pub out in the middle of nowhere?”

LG smiled and looked over at the bartender. “Oh, that’s sort of the point. Some times, being Nowhere has its advantages. Now, as for the offer…

“She’s the Running Light, and I have quite a bit of … discretion in how I crew her. You would be a fully-commissioned officer in the Navy, but, realistically, you’ll never be able to transfer to another ship. The mandatory loss in rank for transferring off would make that … prohibitive. One of the downsides of the level of discretion I have, unfortunately. On the other hand, I’ve never had someone want to leave that way. Had a few decide their traveling days were over, and some who left in a bag, but … those are hard stories, and we all know them.

“I’d bring you on as a Midshipman, but if you can prove yourself to me and the rest of the officers, I expect you to earn your first promotion … or two … rather quickly. I do reward competence and ability — quite well, in fact.”

“Sir … while I appreciate the offer … and I hate what they did to us … I did swear an oath to serve the King. I can’t sail in anything that would be forced to go against the Navy that just tossed me away.”

“Oh, not to worry. I think I can safely say that you will never cross paths with any of your former shipmates or their ships.” LG smiled again as he thought about it.

Ridge took a slow drink from his mug.

“Now, while you’d be commissioned, we do tend to operate … somewhat outside of the … certainties that define most navies. That’s also part of my discretion. We aren’t privateers or pirates, but I’ve been known, on occasion, to fly different colors for the purpose of distraction or even downright subterfuge. We’re on a good mission, though — I can promise you that.”

Ridge pondered this and then poured the rest of his mug down his throat, following it with the double shot He then leapt to attention. “Sir! Lieutenant … I mean, Midshipman Drew Toby Ridge, sir! Reporting for duty, sir!”

Crayford picked up his mug and drank it down, then stood up. “At ease, Drew. I told you already. We leave the ranks outside. Give me a moment to settle up, and we can head to the ship and start getting you acquainted with what crew aren’t on shore leave..”

He looked at the bartender who shook his head. “Nah. Sometimes it’s just too obvious that the drink is courtesy of the Pub. Just make sure you bring this young man back here for another drink, y’hear?” Crayford smiled and nodded.

“Sir, I promise you! Put me on your ship, and I’ll prove to you just how good I am at navigating by the stars!”

Crayford put his arm around the younger man’s shoulders pulling him towards the door. “By the stars? Drew, you are about to go on an adventure like you’ve never imagined.” He opened the door into the cold corridor of the space station he’d walked in from.

“We don’t navigate by the stars. We navigate between them.”

submitted by /u/bmcatt [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/3lzWZWj

[optimisticaboutyou]

XMAS WISHLIST

-skincare

https://m.sephora.com/product/a-brighter-truth-brightening-essentials-set-P418025

https://www.sephora.com/product/tiger-grass-re-pair-serum-P423259

https://m.sephora.com/product/rose-gold-elixir-P417139?icid2=skugrid

https://m.sephora.com/product/origins-superstars-P425449?icid2=%3Ap425449%3Aproduct

-makeup

https://m.sephora.com/product/just-peachy-velvet-matte-eye-shadow-palette-peaches-cream-collection-P422449

-instax printer

https://www.bestbuy.com/site/fujifilm-instax-share-sp-2-wireless-printer-gold/5436902.p?skuId=5436902

-Gentle Monster sunglasses (black)

http://www.gentlemonster.com/shop/ver1_detail.php?it_id=1486435528&cata=c0

-Burberry blush fragrance

https://m.sephora.com/product/my-burberry-blush-mini-duo-P422300?icid2=skugrid

-Lush jelly face mask- just to clarify

https://www.lushusa.com/face/masks/just-to-clarify/07376.html

-Mejuri star ring

https://mejuri.com/shop/products/star-signet

-personalized jewelry

https://www.etsy.com/listing/245777240/custom-name-ring-personalized-name-ring?ref=finds_l

https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/delicate-monogram-necklace?category=holiday-gifts-all&color=901

https://www.etsy.com/listing/492445837/boob-necklace

-black mules (size 6)

https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/cara-mule-heel?category=SEARCHRESULTS&color=001&quantity=1&size=6&type=REGULAR

https://www.zara.com/us/en/knotted-high-heel-slingback-shoes-p17235201.html?v1=4864040&v2=840006&SID=07b50750dbfe11e7b3ee5122cf8a34ef

-Converse jack purcell (size 6)- white or black

http://www.pacsun.com/converse/jack-purcell-canvas-black-white-shoes-0530455486991.html?q=converse%20jack%20purcell&dwvar_0530455486991_color=091&srule=best-matches&start=1

-Adorn Amethyst fragrance (smells like Jadore by Dior)

https://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shop/adorn-edp-fragrance?category=gift-ideas-for-women&color=050&quantity=1&size=ONE%20SIZE&type=REGULAR

-bear hoodie

https://www.forever21.com/us/shop/catalog/Product/F21/intimates_loungewear/2000201450?variantid=&recid=product6_rr-_-27;-_-2000201450-_-4402-_-4

-Everlane 100% human shirt (my favorite tee of all time and tobi or teddy bit it LOL)

https://www.everlane.com/products/unisex-human-crew-sprint-white?collection=womens-gift-guide

-hat (navy)

https://www.forever21.com/us/shop/Catalog/Product/f21/acc_hat/2000212033

-watch (look up promo codes- theres always one)

https://www.danielwellington.com/us/dw-watch-women-classic-petite-melrose-rose-gold-black-28mm

https://www.danielwellington.com/us/dw-watch-women-classic-black-sheffield-rose-gold-36mm

-Eggie shop

https://eggie.us/collections/all/products/white-stitch-bandeau?variant=4885181759524

https://eggie.us/collections/new/products/miss-honey-dress?variant=5232394633252 

-denim jacket

-boots

https://www.target.com/p/women-s-andie-bootie-who-what-wear-153-black-9-5/-/A-52765039?clkid=6bb81873Nd3c7be7a1cd7ed96dc1390da&lnm=201333&afid=Clique%20Media%2C%20Inc.&ref=tgt_adv_xasd0002

http://m.asos.com/us/asos/asos-rida-lace-back-ankle-boots/prd/8375261?clr=black&SearchQuery=&cid=4172&pgesize=36&pge=1&totalstyles=377&gridsize=3&gridrow=5&gridcolumn=1&affid=10607&pubref=1171&transaction_id=1022a4b99bf33c6cb24455faae7581

-Clarisonic

-wrap dress (for the storets links, copy and paste to go to the item)

http://www.storets.com/gina-cold-shoulder-wrap-dress.html

http://www.storets.com/avril-wrap-mini-dress.html

http://us.topshop.com/en/tsus/product/mono-stripe-knot-front-dress-7136230?geoip=noredirect&&istCompanyId=da794a11-99cb-4206-8e52-61037452aeeb&istItemId=xalllwqwmt&istBid=t&geoip=noredirect&network=linkshare&utm_source=linkshare&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=US_1921634&utm_content=%3CLSNLNKTYPENAME%3E&siteID=25ZRSXYPVYg-l1RhtrIaOCYrKNdLP_U5MQ&cmpid=aff_lsus_25ZRSXYPVYg_15&_$ja=tsid:21416|prd:25ZRSXYPVYg

-wide brim hat

https://www.forever21.com/us/shop/Catalog/Product/f21/women-new-arrivals/1000101741

-longline plaid blazer

https://www.forever21.com/us/shop/Catalog/Product/f21/contemporary-main/2000244076

-marble tray?

https://www.target.com/p/gold-and-marble-tray-project-62-153/-/A-51068505#lnk=newtab

-bag/ wallet

(in plum, black, or brown)

https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/chloe-mini-faye-suede-leather-wallet-on-a-chain/4409572?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=BLUSHY%20PINK

https://www.chloe.com/us/backpack_cod45376903md.html

(in sienna red)*

https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524447140015&site_refer=CSE_GGLPRADS001&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7su_us3g1wIVDdRkCh1FZgrEEAkYAiABEgIgO_D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

(in red)

https://www.thekooples.com/us/iconic-emily-bag-mini-version-carmine-red-1402167.html

[kaladin-sadblessed]

Prime numbers and any multiples of five :)

Why would you give me maths but also thank you!

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Back when I was doing my A-levels we used to spend most of chemistry talking about shit like this with our teacher and it used to low-key fuck me up (he also once told me not to panic before an exam bc the universe doesn’t really exist so who cares if I fail and to be fair it calmed me down a lot, what a guy). Like, when you sit and think about how everyone is just as complex as you that’s messed up and scary and really hard to wrap your head around, but so is solipcism (sp???) as a concept. I just try to not think about these things and then we’re all good lmao. 

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Idk what this means. Arlene Foster, I guess.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

Idk man, I’d be like an apple tree or some shit

7. What shirt are you wearing?

One of my many dinosaur print items of clothing, its grey and has green, blue and red dinosaurs with goof facial expressions and it’s one of my favourite tshirts.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Watching fight club with the boys, which was super gratifying bc my friend Matt didn’t know what the twist was and that was gr8910 to witness

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

I quite like being 20, it’s working out quite well for me.

13. Your worst enemy?

My lack of work ethic when it comes to dissertation lmao

15. Do you like someone?

Yeah

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

This is very specific, as well as being pretty dark. Like why explosions? No one, lol, between this and asking who my worst enemy is, what sort of life do you think i lead?

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

What

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

My hair is a pretty cool colour naturally (it’s purple now which is lovely as well but it’s usually like a golden blonde colour and I like it a lot)

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

Okay so I’m fucking terrified of trains and apparently that’s really funny to everyone in London but I think it’s a pretty rational fear. Also, I’m low key scared of Aaron Taylor Johnson. That one I’m not going to justify.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Exchange in for apprximately £78 and buy approximately 78 five packs of cookies from the tesco bakery

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Fuck is a really good expletive I use it often and always. Although I’ve recenly started using the phrase “what the shit”, which I picked up from one of my friends I live with and that’s also an excellent phrase. On it’s own though, fuck is the best.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

The board game cupboard, that’s all we have left anyway

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Nothing I;m going to talk about on tumblr lmao

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

I am a brilliant [insert anything you’d like here]. Thanks for asking.

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

A few times yeah it doesn’t snow very often in Ireland which sucks

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets probably bc I don’t ever like being awake early if I don’t need to be, but when I’m on hospital placement “` my train leaves Clapham Junction at 6:52 so I get to see the sunrise over the London Skyline wich is pretty fucking cool and it kind of makes being up that early worth it, but only kinda

41. What is your favourite milkshake flavour?

Oero milkshakes are where its at

43. Do you have any scars?

I have a scar under my left eyebrow from being hit with a golf club when I was eight years old my my friend when we were messing around with his brothers stuff. I also have a scar on my left ankle from shaving lmao. I have loads of bruises with interesting stories (and loads of bruises i have no idea how they got there) but very few scars

45. What do you want to be when you graduate?

I don’t have a lot of options when I graduate, lol, I’m studying therapeutic radiography, which isn’t exactly a transferable skill set. I want to go into whats called Review Radiography though, where you specialise in the side effects of one specific area of radiotherapy (e.g. breast, gynae, head and neck) and then you have your own patient load and you can take a prescribing course and you work to minimise and manage their side effects individually

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

“What the fuck”

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

Any conversation I’ve ever had with my friend Matt. I have two friends called Matt and this goes for both of them. Also the first inside joke I ever had with @eiqhties was about what would be both likely to kill you, a pineaplle or a bus and that was seven and a bit years ago and it still comes up sometimes

51. Are you a good liar?

Depends what I’m lying about and who I’m lying too

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

The emo fringe I cut myself when i was 14 lmai

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

Not really, but I sometimes pick up on other peoples accents when I’m talking to them it’s really bad (my mum is awful at doing this)

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

I don’t really draw, but tend to doodle stars on thing s when I’m stressed so it was probably a star

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I do when I’m at home home, or when the boys aren’t in.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

Yeah, because it’s a logical thing to believe, there’s no way we’’re the only intelligent life in the universe

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

I fucking love the horoscopes in The Metro, Joe and I always read them on our way to uni

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

Thanks

Thank you actually though!!! Have a funky day xx