#my fave superhero used to be captain america but it's been all spidey for a while now

[asterlark]

i didn't think about how finally catching up with the most recent spider-man movies would reawaken the sleeping spider-man fan Beast inside of me and now all i can think about is peter parker help 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[scienceoftheidiot]

So, 1 week after, here are my thoughts on Endgame. 

I liked the film, this is the thing you need to know. 

Rest of the thoughts under the cut, not in any order, and of course SPOILERS AHEAD 

Also careful as I put ALL my opinions there. Dunno if it’s unpopular or not and frankly I don’t really give a shit. 

Time travel. Didn’t expect that, rather some shenanigans with Strange, so time travel + Antman ? I’m game, thanks for surprising me. I think Antman is now my favourite Avenger. And I haven’t seen Antman and the Wasp, so uh. I was a little put off. lol. 

Since we’re on this subject : why oh why do you all go to fucking TONY’s to talk about time travel when Bruce is still around ?!???!!!!  Tony is a genius engineer. He does physics. BUT NOT THIS KIND  Bruce is the closest you can have for time travel (I would have gone to Pym but eh he’s gone).  further proof that in cinema, all scientists are interchangeable (if... you can call Tony a scientist. Mmmmmeeeehhh depends on the definition) science rant off/  Physicist = BRUCE. NOT TONY  

Tony was fucking grating all the damn movie. I understand his reactions, I understand his motivations, but really ? I have started to not like him much a few films before, and now it has culminated. So I guess now I’m team Cap. Always been team Cap anyway, except during civil war when the sole well written character is Black Panther. 

the 5 years gap ? the most stupid part of the movie. I can suspend my disbelief (not all the (russian) nuclear plants have exploded without enough supervision, for example, well I think so, we have no idea how the rest of the world has coped because USA USA USA)(the french ones are supposed to calm down and “turn off” in this case)(i said SUPPOSED) but there are things that should be addressed    It’s only used as a background and never made in perspective as a European, we know that 5 years ? Is enough to rebound. No “big empty places” unless you have decided to make a reserve of it (which they should have taken the opportunity for, given Steve’s comment about whales in the Hudson. Animals grow faste than humans). Economy is probably thriving by then, and all this. The whole infrastructure is still there, nothing to rebuild. I’m fairly sure people have started to make a lot, a lot a lot of babies.  The people returning at the end ? All their family have gone without them for 5 years ? How do they deal with that ? All the economy is going to collapse again. Families are going to be broken again. People are going to find themselves without a home, without a support, without anything.  And if you think it works, I would engage you into reading what happened to the people who survived camps after WW2. And nothing of this is addressed. It creates more problems than it solves them and all of this because of this 5 years gap to give a daughter to Tony and some (badly made fake) belly to Thor.  Spiderman ? goes back to high school ? and his friend is still there ? so his friends was snapped too, or else it’s a monumental fuck up. Unless you’re extremely dumb you don’t stay 5 years in high school you know  This gap is unneccessaty and made there just so Tony can have a kid so his death is more dramatic or whatever. It sucks. Even during the film it put me off.  oh it’s maybe also there because they want Thor to totally collapse, which brings me to 

Thor  The next time I see someone saying “Thor isn’t like this ! Thor would never collapse” has not seen the same films as I did (and probably is one of those Ragnarok haters who have not understood the movie)  Thor can collapse. In fact, it’s just as understandable or actually even more, than Tony doing so in the beginning of the movie (who is the only one who hasn’t lost a loved one ? hey, Tony ! Thor has lost his country, his brother, his parents, and he has LOST, he fought and lost, and this isn’t something he is used to).  No, the probelm with Thor isn’t that he’s collapsed and is now an alcoholic (and actually more of an alcoholic than Tony ever was shown to be when he’s supposed to be one - Tony never tries to find alcohol or else. Tony is a.... Tony c’est un putain d’alcoolique mondain. Pas franchement intéressant. Pas un poivrot. Thor est plus intéressant qu’un alcoolique mondain. Sorry for the french I can’t translate.  The problem with Thor is that it’s played for the laughs.  I don’t mind Rocket slapping him - it’s ROCKET dudes, he is a fucking arse with no social capabilities you think he’s going to help his sole partner while they’re supposed to do a mission ? No, he slaps him. Cause he’s an arsehole. It’s IN CHARACTER  No, it’s the way it’s filmed. The Russos tried to do a Waititi, but they didn’t understand Ragnarok, just like half of tumblr apparently, and played this for the laughs, without any finesse, without any of the things that made Thor in Ragnarok relatable and not the butt of a joke. Once it’s alright, the surprise of Banner finding Thor this way and all.  A few lines here and there, okay Not this constant “look Thor is fat and depressed and alcoholic haha who would have thought it’s so funny let’s have more” 

It didn’t enrage me but it’s very very meh 

I don’t know if it was the French translation but almost all the fucking humour was off. 

Time travel is full of plot holes. I don’t care about that. But time travel is slippery and they fell in all the holes. Luckily for them, I watch Doctor Who. I have learnt not to see the holes (Doctor Who does it better though eeehhhh) 

I don’t mind and actually liked all the returns to the past, I know people found it shitty, I liked it. 

Loki... eeehhh. He’s in ANOTHER timeline now. If he comes back, he better have an explanation. A GOOD ONE 

I won’t watch the Disney series anyway so I don’t really care about what happens, do your thing, I’m off 

Big battle at the end : YES 

I WANT TO BE WALKYRIE WHEN I AM A GROWN UP 

SHE IS BADASS 

SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND I ALREADY WANTED TO BE HER IN RAGNAROK SHE IS ME

BUT NOW SHE HAS A FLYING PONY 

IT’S AWESOME

I WANT TO BE WALKYRIE OKAY 

Now I have thoughts about identification and Hollywood stereotypes of races and the way they mix gender expression and sexuality - but if that interest someone I’ll just tell them in private. Just know that I’m white and straight, yet I almost only identify to non white and often non straight female characters. So there IS something to look into there. I don’t give a fuck in what race or sexuality the characters I identify with are - unless Tumblr decides I can’t cosplay Walkyrie because I’m white or this kind of bullshit - I just find it interesting, because I only identify with ONE type of women, and these women are always such. So there is stuff to dig up imo. ANYWAY  BACK TO YOUR REGULAR SCHEDULE 

I hate MCU Spiderman

I hate MCU Spiderman

I hate MCU Spiderman 

His presence and his talking and all ruined all the fucking scenes he was in 

ESPECIALLY TONY’S DEATH 

Dude ? you know him for barely a few months ? You are so dependant on him ? I know you’re young, but... you’re not 10yo, and you’re supposed to have been Spidey WITHOUT him before ? and what you do is just basically worship the ground Tony is on all the time ? 

TONY IS DYING AND THE ONE WHO STAYS THERE AND THAT NO ONE KICKS AWAY IS SPIDERMAN ???? 

LET PEPPER BE THERE 

HECK EVEN CAP HAD MORE HISTORY WITH HIM 

I swear I was 2 seconds away from screaming when Pepper finally pushed him away. 

You, my little arsehole baby Spidey who apparently can’t do shit alone, have robbed some of the last seconds of Tony’s life from his love. Thank you Spiderman 

Spiderman has more screentime than T’challa and I will always be salty about it. T’challa, Tchuri, are far more interesting and important to this story than Peter Parker. 

Spidey rant off/ 

Where is Captain Marvel ? Away on Plot Planet so that she doesn’t ruin the film by being too strong. She still Deus Ex Machinas her way at the end. 

I have nothing against Captain Marvel, she’s for me like Superman, too powered so uninteresting. 

Remember who my fave  superheroes are ? Daredevil and Hawkeye(s). Superpowers don’t really do it for me, eh. So that’s it. 

CAPTAIN AMERICA HOLDING MJOLNIR 

I DIED 

THIS WAS PERFECT

I MIGHT HAVE SHOUTED 

I LOVED IT 

Cap was redeemed to me by this film, after Civil War which fucked him up and Infinity War where he was... not really interesting (best char in IW ??? THOR FFS) 

Cap’s end. Is the best. I don’t care about the timeline bullshit and how it shouldn’t work and all this 

Cap comes back to Peggy and they live happily ever after and I’m so happy for them and that’s it. 

Natacha? The whole soul stone thing was dumb. But given the context there she HAD to die. 

I am not salty about her dying though. 

BUT WHY DOESNT SHE HAVE A FUCKING FUNERAL 

EVEN WITHOUT HER BODY DO SOMETHING HAVE SOME TIME TO REFLECT ABOUT HER AND REMEMBER WHY YOU LOVED HER AND MAKE A SPEECH AND ALL THIS 

TONY HAS THIS ? BUT NOT NATACHA ? SERIOUSLY ???? 

bon petite parenthèse j’ai du mal avec le prénom natacha (natasha ?) pke la seule meuf que j’eu jamais connu avec ce prénom était une grosse conne qu’on a fini par appeler natachatte et je ne peux pas penser à natacha sans que mon cerveau ne me rappelle natachatte voilà merci. Natachatte tu es surement toujours une grosse conne, mais bon. En plus je suis pas hyper fan de Scarlet Johansson mais passons 

I liked that she was eventually allowed some emotions in there btw. 

But she died. And no one mourned her for more than 5 minutes. That is the lot of people dying in the middle of movies. Bleh 

By the way if I see once more that she was fridged I’m going to kill someone

this is not fridging THIS DIDNT CAUSE MAN PAIN 

THIS DIDNT CAUSE ANY PAIN AT ALL AND THIS IS THE PROBLEM 

Smart Hulk is funny for 5 minutes then becomes really not funny and really not interesting and seriously the interesting part of Banner is his struggle with Hulk, why do this 

The “Gay mention” at the start ? Really not something to be proud about when you could have used the actual non straight characters you have around (cough Walkyrie cough Captain Marvel cough hell even Loki) BUT enough to stop Russia from showing the film in English so they could censor it. Bravooooooo. I feel for my Russian friends, as I know Russian dubbing is not exactly the best in the world. All this, boasting and all, for this seriously meh scene with an unknown character we don’t give a shit about, and it leads to that. Seriously. 

I think I’m done. 

I’m done? 

Morgan Stark was unnecessary. Also calling her Morgan is making stuff difficult. Cause there’s another character called Morgan Stark in the comics and I had trouble finding her when I didn’t remember her name. 

I hate Gwyneth Paltrow but Pepper is perfect 

Which is weird because I really don’t like Tony there but eh okay. 

Thank God for Antman. Paul Rudd is my baby and his character is the sole funny one. 

Hawkeye as Ronin is... seriously not as interesting as he should be, and there were moments when I really wondered why they bothered with such an underpowered character that did. Nothing. 

Also that phone call ? that phone call ?????? why would Ronin have kept his phone when he... is Ronin, doesn’t let people contact him, and has lost his whole family ? I almost yelled in the cinema. You need to explain me why he has this phone there. 

The “girl power” shot was way too much, unnecessary, and I really didn’t understand how and why all the girls were there suddenly at the same place when they were all scattered around the battlefield seconds before. Do your job, write good and varied female characters, this is NOT USEFUL and tacky and... dumb. Really. Don’t. 

Okay now I’m done. These were *some* of my thoughts 

I still liked the film, mind you, I’m a good public, give me action and jokes and people I like on screen and I’m good. It was a good moment and I don’t regret seeing it. 

Now I think I am done with the MCU, maybe appart from Antman and Black Panther. Guardians of the Galaxy if James Gunn comes back (but I’m kinda afraid of Thor being there, the joke about “who’s the captain” was already WAY TOO MUCH in the film, I can’t have that for a whole film - plus “new Gamora” means there’s going to be some very cringey scenes and Quill will try to make her love him again and this is going to be... boring as fuck because we’ve already seen it. Nope.) 

It was a good end to it. Now ? All I want is for people to Save Daredevil of course. I have no interest into anything else, thanks. 

[gerrymander90]

Originally, Stan Lee created Spider-Man to resonate and relate to real people; at the time, every superhero that existed was like Superman or Captain America; an unattainably high goal of heroism, Good, and stability. Spidey was meant to be relatable in that he was a regular guy just trying to get by; he isn’t a purely good person, he isn’t rich, he has literally nothing figured out, he struggles to pay rent just like everyone else... he’s us. And that’s why he’s always been my favorite—don’t get me wrong, I love Captain America, because it’s Captain America, you kinda have to like him, but Spidey is my all time fave.

im only saying this once

the only acceptable jobs for spider-man

broke high schooler

broke college student

freelance photographer

high school teacher

unpaid intern

pizza delivery guy

research assistant for doomed scientific project

guy who stands on street and spins sign for quiznos

being spider-man

and thats IT i dont want any of this “hes a genius tech ceo making millions” SHIT. Spider-man is BROKE and he missed rent this month and he has a tiny apartment and thats how its MEANT TO BE. he doesnt make money because he is our Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-man and not fucking Tony Stark.

[the-desolated-quill]

A Brief Word About Spider-Man: Homecoming - Quill’s Scribbles

So Spider-Man: Homecoming has been released in cinemas today here in the UK (I believe it’ll be released in the US on the 7th July). I really should be excited, but I’m not. I’m really not. For starters I’m still very much emotionally attached to the Amazing movies. I’ve made it no secret how much I prefer them to the Sam Raimi trilogy. They’re just better movies. I felt that the Amazing series had a lot of potential going forward and I absolutely adored Andrew Garfield in the role. He is Spider-Man. He understood and embodied the character perfectly, and it’s very hard to say goodbye to him. Especially because we’re saying goodbye to him for the stupidest of reasons.

We all know that The Amazing Spider-Man 2 ‘under-performed’ at the box office. I say ‘under-performed’ in inverted commas because rumour has it that Sony wanted the movie to make a billion dollars at the box office, which is… overambitious to say the least. I mean Spider-Man is a very profitable franchise. Sony’s most profitable franchise to be exact, hence why they’re so reluctant to part company with him, but a billion dollars? I think the only superhero that has ever managed to make over a billion dollars in a solo movie was Batman. And that’s only because Christopher Nolan had generated a lot of positive buzz and good will over the years. Sony, not so much.

The other reason is that apparently Andrew Garfield didn’t show up at a Sony press conference or something and was sacked on the spot, which is beyond petty and completely nuts. I mean talk about shooting yourself in the foot.

So now we’re getting yet another Spider-Man reboot. We’re back in high school and it appears we’re going to be staying in high school for quite a long time as Kevin Feige has said that they want to follow the Harry Potter formula of each movie representing a new school year. To me that just feels like a massive step backwards and that they’re just keeping the character frozen in amber for no reason other than sheer convenience, but that’s just my opinion (and that’s important to bear in mind as you read this. This is all just my opinion. If you’re excited about this movie, good for you. I’m glad somebody is). But Spidey is in the MCU now. That’s exciting, right?

Um… not really if I’m honest.

Here’s the thing. I’ll be excited about Spider-Man joining the MCU if it leads to something good. Right now I have my doubts. As much as I enjoyed Captain America: Civil War and thought Tom Holland did a decent job in the role, the way Spidey is introduced into the continuity was incredibly clunky and not thought through very well because it opens up a ton of awkward questions and plot holes and logic errors (most of which involving the Defenders and why they never seem to get a mention in these bloody films). And of course there’s the whole confusion as to whether or not this upcoming Venom movie is part of the MCU or not, with Sony and Marvel constantly flipping-flopping, which suggests to me that they’re not planning ahead and aren’t discussing things very effectively. How can you expect this Spider-Man reboot to be any good if the two companies involved can’t reach an agreement as to how this franchise is actually going to work? If the foundations aren’t solid, how are you supposed to build anything on top of it?

Now I’m sure people must think that I’m Mr. Grumpy-Tits who will just moan and complain about any little thing that Marvel does. And it’s true that I have been very critical of the MCU in recent years. But the truth is, and I know some of you will find this hard to believe, I don’t go into a Marvel movie wanting to hate it. I didn’t go to see Ant-Man or Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 wanting them to be shit so I could moan about them later. I may have some concerns prior to watching a movie, but I always try to go in with the hope that it’ll be good. And sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised. A good example is Captain America: Civil War. I hated the trailers and marketing for it, but when I watched it, it completely blew me away. I loved it. Sure it had some problems, but it was an intelligent and engrossing movie for the most part. I had the same experience with The Amazing Spider-Man. Hated the trailers, but loved the movie. Of course it also works the other way around. I loved the trailers for Suicide Squad, but the movie itself was a pile of shit.

The trailers and marketing for Spider-Man: Homecoming aren’t exactly filling me with confidence. It looks like a very bland coming of age story. Vulture looks kind of rubbish (plus Marvel don’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to movie villains). They seem to be relying on Iron Man a bit too much. In fact is Iron Man really the most appropriate mentor for Spidey considering the way he manipulated him in Civil War? And doesn’t that sort of take away from Spidey’s story? Isn’t the whole point of it supposed to be that he’s an everyman who has to figure this shit out for himself? Now he gets his suit and gadgets just handed to him on a silver platter by a playboy billionaire. And why does his suit have an AI? Doesn’t his spider-sense make that redundant? In fact does he even have a spider-sense? I don’t think he did in Civil War considering the number of times he gets punched in the face. Plus at first glance they seem to be borrowing wholesale from Miles Morales. Taking story elements from the black character to prop up the white fave. That’s a bit dodgy to say the least. The comedy feels very awkward. The poster looks terrible. I mean look at it:

The latest line about that is apparently it’s supposed to look amateurish to reflect the high school setting.

First of all, on behalf of all art and graphic design students everywhere, fuck you. And second, a deliberately bad poster is still a bad poster. The fact that it’s deliberate doesn’t automatically make it good. And wait a minute. Were they all watching Captain America on the TV? Isn’t he supposed to be a criminal? Isn’t that like watching a fitness video presented by OJ Simpson?

See, it’s just little things that keep building up and building up until eventually my anticipation has kind of evaporated. But hey. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this will be another Captain America: Civil War. Bad trailers, but a great movie… or maybe it will be a pile of crap… or maybe it’ll be as bland, mediocre and forgettable as I suspect it probably will be. Who knows? The only way to find out is to watch it. The burden is now on the movie to prove it’s worth my £12 for a movie ticket. 

Because, you know, I have to pay money to watch these films. It’s not cheap. I could use that £12 to buy something else. Like pizza or a sense of self worth.

[madmadmilk]

lol ok hold on i'll actually type things out >>>

endgame was not my fave and i h8 the russo brothers lmao

i also despise the fact that they set up a conflict between cap and tony (and the fans) and never let the avengers fully "make up." we never got to see them ALL fight side-by-side, and only got a cheesy montage of them eating take-out.......

and no funeral for nat????????

i have no idea what ability the soul stone has lmao

i understand iron man's ending, but i hate that we never see his happiness in real time.

mcu fans don't know how to read or patiently wait for plots to play out

my fav captain america movie is the first one, and his friends & partners are more interesting than him in his other centered films

lol that being said, steve x peggy were a beautiful almost-couple. but their time has past and steve SHOULD have moved on. that is one of my biggest itches about the conclusion of his arc (along with him leaving his current life & bucky)

i enjoy most "slow burn" romance/relationships in the MCU, but endgame was literally destroyed by pushing heteronormative relationships

bruce banner & hulk deserved so much more recognition. i understand their train of thought with "smart hulk", and that their combination allowed them to wield the stones (and live!)....... but that time skip squashed any potential seeing HOW they fused together. boo

i hated that 5 year time skip

i enjoy the character and potential of captain marvel, but her solo movie wasn't the best

i desperately want peter parker & co to grow up and graduate high school. i appreciate the teenage POV it gave us, but he has literally been there since 2017 and it's 2023 now. lol.

love spidey-man and love iron man, but far from home should have been about how peter faces the world without a benefactor / hero guardian. also i think they made the world post-blip look too peachy

side note: i hate when ppl bring up that iron man brought spider-man to fight and judge him for it......... like..... ok, he's a superhero kid with no gear who is likely to hurt himself by himself. also why was team cap coming at them with deadly force tho??? (@ ms. wanda wtf) i don't think tony actually anticipated that. also that was the most walmart-parking-lot-ass fight ever ... imagine being friends and beating the shit out of each other instead of talking lol

side side note: i want spider-man to keep his secret identity. there are no secret heroes in all of the damn MCU

there's nothing wrong with hawkeye, but they have given him too many damn chances to prove himself or retire or move on... and they keep using him as an example of "A Family Man," while he continually puts himself at risk???????? and now he's gonna have his own show???? why.......... (also why did he become a vigilante instead of help the avengers during the blip) (why did they cut him out of a whole ass movie lmao)

please give mantis a new outfit & some recognition for how strong she is lol. it's her turn to develop (it's okie if she stays really feminine or isn't the best fighter, i just want her to be properly included in that gang)

i prefer thor, loki, valkyrie (revengers cast) single. like they deserve romance and happy endings at some point, but something about them being wildly attractive and totally unattainable to all really hits the spot. also gives us time to know them better

ant-man feels like an honorary leader ; put some respect on his name !!!

ant-man and doctor strange have some of the most amazing visual effects and fight sequences – but no one talks about them.

the russo brothers set up so many reasons for steve to stay with bucky, but tore them apart in their own arc of movies. lmao. what...

^ also i always end up hating the path they chose. i enjoy the start, but the ending is always the one that always makes me roll my eyes

natasha/black widow is allowed to be a femme fetale; sexy, feminine, deadly, secretive etc... but if she is the only representation of a heroine then ur terrible. also if u think her suit is the best out of everybody's, ur terrible. (AND her movie is also 10 years too late).

i never want to see a shirtless loki lol. it would ruin his appeal

wandavision is holding my attention better than the falcon and the winter soldier

idk how bucky is getting away with what he's doing in tfatws

captain america "fans" are so horrible to side characters/actors who aren't steve or bucky

spider-man "fans" are so horrible to his POC cast mates

mcu nerdboy "fans" are so horrible to female heroes/actresses, and even when [the women] and we speak up– nothing changes for them. << annoyed that their male cast-mates don't stand up for them >>

the fat jokes in IW/endgame were unnecessary and perpetuate toxic weird chummy 'guy talk' behavior– and i hate having to bear witness to it.

i think all the avengers should have been able to wield mjolnir in endgame

all the avengers have some form of PTSD and need to listen to sam wilson and/or take a break

they neva eva should have shaved cap's beard in endgame

that's all i can think of for now lmaooo

rb this with your unpopular marvel opinions