#my excuse is actually the fact that i saw this thing on IG

[garfinkelstingle]

Hi! I absolutely love your fics, could you do a fake insta fic with timothee? The face claim being Rachel Zegler with she/her pronouns. Thanks!

pairing: timothee chalamet x fem!reader

a/n: nonnie there is no excuse as to why this took me so long apart from the fact that i was in a slump... but now i am (sorta) not! i hope you guys like it and have a great day & week xxx (also some of these "posts" are very self-indulgent AND i'm going to the eras tour twice next year so i'm just so excited aaahhhh!!!!!!)

masterlist

yourinstagram

liked by tchalamet, florencepugh and 2,391,382 others

yourinstagram miscast23 gala!! loved every second of it (and not just because i felt like a million bucks in this dress)

view all 328,382 comments

tchalamet how are you real???

*liked by yourinstagram

tchalamet like i'm serious it should be illegal to be this good-looking my gOd

yourinstagram babe stfu 😭

yourfan36 THEYRE SO CUTE WHAT

yourfan89 mommy? sorry, mommy?

haileesteinfeld hot stuff

yourinstagram 🫶🏼🫶🏼

tchalamet

liked by yourinstagram, zendaya and 1,382,932 others

tchalamet felt cute, won't delete later cause my girlfriend won't let me

view all 129,239 comments

timmyfan16 as she should(n't?)

yourinstagram can you blame me????

*liked by tchalamet

timmyfan38 y/n better be prepared to fight because d a m n

zendaya looking fine mr

*liked by tchalamet

timmyfan29 thanks for this blessing

yourinstagram

liked by tchalamet, taylorswift and 3,248,422 others

yourinstagram ERAS TOUR BABY!!!!!!! thanks for all the friendship bracelets guys <3333

view all 831,321 comments

swiftie13 y/n being a swiftie will forever be my favorite thing about her

tchalamet miss americana

yourinstagram & her heartbreak prince

yourfan78 im literally so jealous i couldn get tickets rip

timmyfan62 I WAS AT THE SAME SHOW I SAW Y/N AND TIMMY DANCING AND SINGING THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE SET it was insane

yournamenews

liked by yourfan92 and 28,492 others

yournamenews Y/N via her Instagram story yesterday

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yourfan73 she's so insane for this 😭😭

yourfan15 i thought this was fake at first but she even put it in her highlight????

timmyfan39 wish i had someone who looked at me the way timmy looks at y/n ughhh

yourfan26 oh we're being fed fed

yourinstagram

liked by dylanobrienfp, tchalamet and 5,218,329 others

yourinstagram breaking news: dylan o'brien spotted with fan

view all 1,323,429 comments

yourfan27 she's just like me fr

tchalamet we took pictures too?? why didnt you post them???

yourinstagram because you have yet to star in teen wolf silly

sadiesink ❤️

*liked by yourinstagram

timmyfan98 the fact that my two (three) faves had dinner together yesterday has done more for my mental health than my parents ever did

yourfan36 not y/n being a teen wolf girlie too omg

tchalamet

liked by yourinstagram, tomholland2013 and 2,492,449 others

tchalamet captionless

view all 52,443 comments

timmyfan26 it's the hand in the hairs for me

yourfan18 not y/n liking this the second he posted it my PARENTS

yourinstagram actual loml (maybe show your face next time so i dont feel so weird for saying that)

tchalamet so you DO only want me for my looks huh??

yourinstagram actually your bank account is a slightly bigger selling point 🤭

timmyfan15 this picture has no right to make me feel the way it does

yourinstagram

liked by tchalamet, haileesteinfeld and 4,238,329 others

yourinstagram oscars 2023 screaming crying punch me in the face?????? MY SPIDEY TINGLE IS STILL IN OVERDRIVE

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tchalamet what's it with you and posting pictures with strikingly handsome men???

yourinstagram i would post you more if one of us didn't look like a fart in every single one of our pictures

tchalamet more wallpapers for me ig

*liked by yourinstagram

andrewfan84 MY TWO BABIES INTERACTED AAHHH

yourfan92 spiderman stan's really won today huh

tomholland2013 you never seem this excited to see me 🥲

yourinstagram ily to the moon and to saturn tom but,,, it's the AMAZING SPIDERMAN

*liked by tomholland2013

tchalamet

liked by yourinstagram, florencepugh and 3,492,294 others

tchalamet this is MY goofball girlfriend, whom i love almost as much as i love her dog. thanks for coming to my ted-talk.

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yourinstagram you're so unserious for this what???

yourinstagram i do love u though and i'm even ok with you loving me less than rosco bc i will never love a human being more than i love that dog xxx

tchalamet 💔💔💔

timmyfan64 i love them sm

oliviarodrigo loving the rosco content yes!!!!

*liked by yourinstagram, tchalamet

yourfan87 if i'm not invited to the wedding i would 110% understand it but please invite me to the wedding

yourinstagram

liked by tchalamet, chrisevans and 7,324,432 others

yourinstagram how do u like the new haircut???

view all 1,483,432 comments

yourfan52 excuse me WHAT

yourfan98 i think i officially died and went to heaven

tchalamet personally i think that the earrings are the highlight of this picture

yourinstagram really? i feel like the painting of a square in the back makes my eyes pop

timmyfan25 what are they even talking about at this point???

florencepugh loving the chop!

*liked by yourinstagram

selenagomez cuties

yourinstagram 💖

yourfan83 adopt me pls i'm not even joking at this point

[asmogorna]

Okay so there’s this ww artist on ig called like tooth lilys or something and he’s always causing drama in the ww fandom and he mouthed off about your art and now heaps of insta ww fans are like talking about you :| free publicity?

ahhhh so thats whats happening .. lmao thats crazy

i checked out their story, and i sure doooo love how they leave some things out when talking about both situations that they mentioned to make me look worse ..

ok so

warning, yap session incoming

the "will wood in a (miku) binder" thing happened back in fall 2023 when i was still semi new to the fandom and didnt know a lot of things. so tho i to this day i dont think it was that big of a deal, i wouldnt do it today

it was an artwork made for shits and giggles, the context of which i have explained here before. i never meant to imply that will wood is trans and i certainly dont "headcanon" him as that. my curse is that even when joking around i tend to try and make my art look good, so i get why people thought it was unironic. and i know that it sounds like a lame ass excuse, but it legit didnt cross my mind that people would think i drew will wood as a trans guy or smth. legit my only thought process was "funny haha internet thing" + "my favorite thing" = "good idea"

now the usage of his real name is something i am genuinely sorry for, but it was an accident and a genuine mistake on my part. i remember seeing someone mention it casually in some comment section, and assuming that it was ok, since i didnt know he was in any way against it. (i also thought that it was the same name that he used in "the real will wood" in that one section cus it sounded a bit similar).

when i was informed about the fact that he doesnt want it spread around i deleted the post right away and apologized, so bringing it up like something i did on purpose and out of malicious intent is a tad bit .. misfitting, if you can use that word

now the hot topic of the day: my waywood art

i have said this before and i will say this again, how i feel about rpf is solely based off how the people involved feel about it

to clarify: i never drew anything inappropriate or even suggestive with them, the "worst" thing is 2 simple sketches of them smoochin. or. this.

idk if this is what they were referring to when talking about me drawing will wood and gerard way "making out" (specifically. because i think "making out" implies to be more sexual stuff than small kisses). and if so, then it once again feels like blowing things out of proportion

and now the point i want you to get: will wood wouldnt give a flying fuck

like i said earlier, i never drew anything inappropriate, because that would actually cross will's existent and real boundaries. you know, the ones that he stated

im not making some conspiracy theories about him being gay, like some people seem to imply in their inbox messages to me

im not sending a whole ass smut fanfiction to litwtc gmail or something, i dont bother him in instagram dms asking if he wants to fuck gerard way, im not shipping him with people who he actually knows personally and has to look in the eyes of from time to time

im not doing anything that he would actually care about

him and chris have joked about him being attracted to gerard before, and though im not saying that you can joke about everything theyve ever joked about, i feel like in our case its clear that will clearly doesnt care about the implications ? (i generally believe that ww fans would get their panties twisted about less things if more of them listened to what these 2 talk about so calmly on litwtc but i digress)

if he saw that some random teenager on tumblr is drawing him and gerard way (gasp of horror) holding hands, he'd laugh at it max and then move on with his day

people are treating the whole situation like i posted pictures of him from when he was a kid or leaked patreon content or drew him fully naked or anything else that, you know, would actually affect him in one way or another

what im doing is innocent fun which isnt even likely to reach either of them. will wood very rarely checks tumblr and, once again, i genuinely dont believe he would care. and gerard way aint got no internet + he doesnt care x 2

it is weird but rn this is what brings me the most joy, even if its silly to say. both will wood and gerard way mean a lot to me and putting them in situations together makes me happy. i am but a child full of fun whimsy

i wont be posting any more explicitly romantic art to avoid more drama, and i also wont be responding to all the anon messages i received because there are like .. too many of them. an overwhelming amount i'd say. sorry about that

i really didnt mean to cause such a fuss, and i understand why some people might be uncomfortable with what i do

i fully understand why you would dislike my waywood hyperfixation shenanigans, and i dont have a problem w you over that, but treating me like pure evil because of a thing so insignificant is just.. overdoing it

once again, i will be toning it down, but it really isnt the end of the world if i dare to draw will wood and gerard way being a tad bit gay (which is, i apparently need to mention, not me actually saying that will wood the alternative musician is a homosexual gay who is in a genuine for real actual real gay homosexual relationship with gerard fucking way the lead singer of my chemical romance. i think speculating on other people's sexuality and gender identity is boooo tomato tomato tomato)

sorry for the rant and sorry to all who were disappointed by my lack of remorse. come back in a couple years when i turn 18 and stop having fun and artistic freedom

thank you for your attention and i hope i at least cleared some things up to those who werent w me throughout every event where i get involved in fandom drama

bye bye

[artsyannierose]

Nene’s Dead Corpse and her ghost bf

randomly made a crap ton more sense to me

why?

fricking school (screw school I hate you (no not rly I’m just stressed))

Anyway I’m a biomed class where unit 1 is studying medical investigations forensic science style

and one of the things is like, what happens to a person after the body has been dead for a while (post mortem or sum, see im learning :D)

Things like algor mortis, livor mortis, I’ve heard of. In fact I’ve even studied the clouding of the corneas before, but it never got to me till today

maybe it’s cause I cannot for the life of me study forensics without my wild imagination giving me nightmares or just panicking when I’m alone but aNyWays

I tend to imagine characters associated with death in these scenarios so I don’t lose it in class💀

*cough* Nene *cough cough*

So as I was taking notes on the slideshow, some of the images of clouded corneas reminded me strangely of something familiar, but at that point I couldn’t tell. There’s something haunting about the eyes (or maybe it’s just my over-analytical brain loving small details like this) they’re GORGEOUS

LIKE

IDK THEYRE PRETTY

Maybe it’s ‘cause the true color of the iris is completely visible in all its glory, without the pupil obscuring it

(something like this?? A little vivid tho lol)

but like

there’s no

life

no reflection, no emotion…nothing (which is so hauntingly beautiful leave me alone I’m a sucker for this now)

it’s literally just an eye with nothing but color

and then it hit me…it’s exactly the look Nene had when Mirai fast-forwarded her time

you can see in the image it’s just her plain magenta eyes with a fuzzy de-saturated blob in the center…aka clouded corneas

And that honestly made me realize that in this scene she’s not—she’s not even unconscious

No she’s literally, physiologically dead

THAT IS A CORPSE HE IS HOLDING

she is literally a dead body this hits me so hard😭😭

and I can imagine algor mortis kicked in by then, her body was probably cold to the touch

so imagine how he felt, and I’m aware people have analyzed his emotions but just think about it

he’s always seen her so full of life and hope, and now all he has left is an empty shell of her, cold and dead with no life left inside

…just like him

the more I think about it Hanako is just an animated corpse

he has no reflection in his eyes most of the time because he is ✨dead✨

I mean Mei, Mitsuba, and Hanako don’t have a little white reflection dot like Nene and Kou

Or maybe I’m overthinking it and Nene’s eyes are just super reflective

even for someone who presumably took his own life, he probably never saw tsukasa’s body start postmortem and actually feel dead bc it looked extremely bloody ngl (I’m guessing he killed himself right after 💔)

and now he’s holding someone he cares about like this for the first time and I’ll bet that scarred him

and he figured out that never, never ever did he ever want to see his sweet assistant like this again, lifeless in his arms

and so after that, cue Hanako in his villain era who basically became a yandere the entire picture perfect lmao

and he was unbelievably adamant about it too

I mean honestly if I held anybody I knew lifeless like that I’d be scarred for life and crying for days

seeing the light drained from someone’s eyes is so interestingly sad to me

Look at the difference:

Happy

vs Sad/Determined

vs Depressed (ig??)

vs Dead

She still has so much emotion in her eyes

and then d e a d

literally looks like a porcelain doll

wait she looks so pale in the last image compared to the others now that I think about it

I love aidairo’s eye for detail it’s so fun to figure out

Well anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk essay atp-

IT’S PAST 1 AM AND I SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR SAID BIOMED CLASS AND HERE I AN GOING ON A TANGENT ABOUT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER’S EYES

send help

anyways excuse me while I grab a box of strawberries to munch on and cry my eyes out all over my homework before I sleep-

[voidcat]

Cw flashing gif (damn it, Shiroe smh)

May I ask for your hand in marriage /j your full blorbo list? For science.

i do the asking for hands here... the ring is ready already, i'm waiting by the altar^^

oh boy this will be a long one so with or without the lores i'll try to give the best, sharpest descriptions... but also ig this gives me the perfect excuse to say smt i wanted to post about:

which is i dont really do the whole selfshipping as serious or commited as i've seen some folks do. essentially i treat it more like ocs and worldbuilding, that's why some of them just turn into mc/readers of their own (ie: aventurine fic, iwaizumi fic i never finished and pretend does not exist. partially a case of bad luck...) it does come easier (and helps to analyze myself and certain situations) to base a mc off myself so essentially, selfshipping but not really. i have a weird relationship with myself...

VOIDCAT'S GUIDE TO F/OS ACROSS THE TIMELINES (or lack thereof)

Oikawa Tooru

started out as "enemies to friends to lovers". it's our respective bonds with iwaizumi that made us hostile with one another and brought together (read: he was jealous. that's literally it.) While I think Stardust can be considered as part of our SS, it works independently too. It did have a planned end but futile attempts to try and get better and write and fail over and over, I accepted it's better to leave it as that. Another thing we have in common besides our love for Hajime is space. We are arguably the best and the worst couple possible. He gets upset I get along with his friends better than he does- we clown him a lot. (doesn't erase from the fact that once our minds combined we can become a huge problem, I find it more entertaining to humble him.)

Dazai Osamu

This one's complicated adn the longest. A Case of Bad Luck while serving as a good selfship lore material- it also provides an "in-between" situation like with Oikawa and Stardust as mentioned above. What helps and makes it work is Bad Luck has currently 4 routes planned (some good, some bad) and has too many real life pieces of me in it. This is another multiseries I never finished writing- but core points of the story are all done so if anyone wants to hear, I'm always delighted to talk about it ^^ (atp I just copy-paste pre-written chapter and scene summaries and occasionally add bonus scenes to route 2) Again, an "enemies to lovers" type of dynamic but born from solitude and our desperation to connect. We are aware of the things we have in common and each other to understand one another best-- but depending on the timeline/route, either work to make it somewhat better (original route as he follows the events of BSD, I later join as practicioner doctor under Yosano and we relearn to accept eahc other and the people we have become.) or actively worsen one another (best example is the 2nd route- he stays in PM after Oda's death and so do I, becoming an "official" member. there was a cathartic scene I wrote for the later bits that goes with me kneeling in a pool of blood, killing him- only to wake up and realize it was a dream. Once after that, and some time later a second time, he stabs me where it hurts most and says I always blamed and used him as an excuse- that this is who I am truly- no victim or fallen dove but just as twisted and unsettling as he is.) Unironically I have a pretty good relationship with Q meanwhile my relationship with Chuuya took time to grow. A little bite and bark with a distance until few vulnerable moments he witnessed and saw the truth to what Dazai and I are actually are. (the three of us in private are quite the pain to Osamu^^ we just ignore him most of the time). 3rd route was a meeting him later in life/meeting Oda first somewhat (which is the best route for me/MC) and 4th has me and my family involved in PM from the start (worst case of morals but more stable than 2nd in terms of mental health) Especially taking 1st and 2nd routes as base-- I'm more like a cranky black cat here. I'll end this here and move onto the next!

Childe/Ajax/Tartaglia

first victim of my genshin burnout but still holds my first true GI self insert so honorary mention to him and my first GI fic I never finished writing. Short loved yet intense love, second chance at love and the unavoidable end to it- ends with me in a half maddened state. From Khaenriah, I have my own specific curse on me-- besides the curse of immortality. We meet in Liyue Harbor as I try to evade someone and pretend I know him- he later finds me again and we travel for a while. My story as it goes: a researcher who devoted themselves to history and uncovering the secrets of past lives before us, while on his own mission, Childe keeps me company and protects me. I had lost my lover and went on this quest as to honor him in his memory as history was his field and interest. As the journey progresses, Childe begins to notice few things off that he pushes away. I try to protect him and risk my safety- my lack of concern and later odd reaction to when he pins me against a column; how I disappeared for long hours of the day and later returned with a makeshift staff woved from silvery branches while with a hurt ankle; my weird explanations and approach towards elements, to challenge and use them and dismiss for the archons. As we near Liyue Harbor again and spend the night at an inn, we share one night of closeness and I disappear before he wakes up. An unknown passing of time later we meet again, though he realizes too late- at a domain where he challenges an abyss mage wielding an element it shouldn't there. (wrote this whole thing before electro abyss mages were a thing ahahha) By the end as he is pinned to the ground and the ever shifting weapon/staff of silver now touching its blade by his neck, Childe realizes it was me all along. In a half fit of delirium and desperation, I reveal my origins and how I had to live, remember my past as time went on as I learned about history and died every single time. I leave him behind injured in the domain- but always assumed he died and saw his ghost few times. Depending on how the story would go, I had either accepted to serve alongside Kaeya, Albedo or another Khaenrian character but my initial disappearance and return with irminsul branches was an argument I had with Dainsleif- I am much more bitter at the state celestia left us at and would rather all of tevyat burns if it means ending them and this ongoing cycle for once and for all.

Scaramouche/Kunikuzushi

There was a story I wanted to write and imply as a sequel to this one here A Moment In Passing. So I'll talk about it shortly to explain as he did erase his previous existence of the Irminsul and thus messed with my fate. Fleeing back to Sumeru before Inazuma declares the vision hunt, I try to readjust to the life there. Cryo user, meddling between hobbies here and there, I meet and befriend people but it's often superficial. After coming to Sumeru and starting over there himself, he first takes notice as he notices someone try and imitate (poorly) Raiden's one of lost sword arts (which I had shared with people from what I remember) I'm more aloof and head in the clouds- a little like he remembers. I do notice him following me for a while so I wait for him to approach first. Relearning love and to be loved, we are both hesitant and often reserved with our actions. It's a long journey of self love and slice of life too- as parts of my existence confuse me- I should not have lived that long as a human and I have gaps in my memory I cannot explain like something missing. It's calmer and more tender. He does find it somewhat sad that even with his "absance" in my life, I ended up with a cryo vision. We read, study and dance together^^

Suna Rintarou

another ss i no longer think about much. aloof dog coded Suna x always stressed cat coded me. there's not much. Probably transfered to Inarizaki from Seijoh, still besties with Seijoh 4- took Suna and I a little trial and error to get together. He likes to push my buttons often.

Jing Yuan

there were ideas I pondered but eventually dropped. Possibly meeting at a book club or again, me as a medic of sorts, meeting him by running him on the street. Not recognizing who he is etc etc. Consider it Romantic Comedy

Yamato Endo

I'll just link this fic. toxic x toxic. we break up in the end. I get severely depressed and it's more or less Togame that helps me get back on my feet. I've made my peace with him and the old me but he still likes to show up and mess up. I probably run a cafe, and Endo picks it as his meeting spot with Sakura just to keep watch. Even sat on the counter as I bake to test the waters (and piss me off), was fairly surprised at my lack of spite and unusual (to him) "water under the bridge" attitude towards him (didn't expect me to call him Yamato to this day). Togame showed up soon later (Sakura...) but seeing as I'm fine and do not want any "chaos" to ensue, remained silent although stationed by me the whole time. (the closure and later starting over with togame is crucial/essential for this ss)

Togame Jo

Slightly mentioned above (optional). journey of healing together, I'm the more dynamic of the two. Seeing me return to my initial spark makes him happy. He knew me before Endo and everything so there shared "what-ifs". Took us a long time to date but he always shows up wherever I am, I always order a dessert and share it with him- always with an excuse. One big night out dinner with Furin and Shishitoren followed by a karaoke run-- where Tsubakino and I... went a bit too far ends with him accompanying me home and confessing. We finally go to that summer festival he never got to ask me out on. Probably my sanest and most normal ss (and most realistic) (the endo yamato past is optional for this ss.)

Narumi Gen

jakfd doctor x japan's biggest headache of a captain. most likely in the same uni, we came across often but i probably ignored him (he noticed and didn't like it). i wanted to quit alltogether but was given a position in jakdf-- we first officially run into each other when he's hiding from hasegawa and walks in on me baking a pizza in the medical wing's breakroom. we game together, annoy each other together. a lot of bark and bite, i flirt with rin and mina often to piss him off (worsened when soichiro is present- narumi has no idea what went between us but does Not want to know- doesn't want me anywhere near him either- we are unsettling together.) he fakes fainting spells sometimes for a check up and almost always whimpers when i'm checking his blood pressure (because i touched his bicep)

Caleb / Xia Yizhou

another long one- and a tad bittersome. obsessive x obsessive / freak4freak/ equally possesive in our own ways. two geminis lol childhood friends with a weird bond, we act more as siblings if anything, i was pretty dependent on him and everything. HS years we are separated which makes the matters worse and causes me to take a side against him- petty as I am. Same university and slow but steadily he enters my life again, while making his presence known in front of my classmates and everyone else too. I experience loss during 3-4th year, he's there by me, afterwards carefulyl arranges how to approach me for the perfect hook and bait- tightening his hold. We share a first kiss, I make him promise to never leave me again. He graduates while I have two more years, and on his first year of missions, it's MIA- him and his fleet assumed dead. Right around the corner of my graduation, I plan to take my diploma and turn in my resignation from being a doctor so I can do whatever else- before the ceremony, my year is gathered for a special program held every few years. It goes: a pilot and a personal medic assigned to them until their resignation or retirement. Almost always the said two get married after retirement as they often choose those close and compatible with each other- or those so distant and in the unknown with one another as to best act out logically. During the ceremony as the pilots enter, my eyes meet a pair that should be dead and pretty much he ties me back to him with no way out this time:) Of course with this development, there is special training picked for those chosen and one- i think, funny moment during one of them is, I get petty, and angry that he's not paying attention to me at the time (while seeing visions of the one I lost) so I take a medication that I know will soon knock me out. As we are climbing up the stairs and he starts a conversation, "hm, I think someone's birthday is coming up:)" (it's tomorrow), I faint<3 also not a detail I had thought of with Rafayel at the time but we are almost never by the sea or any body of water, on the occasion we are, he never leaves my side as if he's almost afraid of some unknown whisking me away.^^

Anaxagoras

subject to change as amphoreus quest isn't finalized. strangers to friends to hinted lovers to i am MIA, then found with memory loss. literal amnesia trope sorry. basically: Anaxagoras with an incomplete soul x me with fractures and fragments of another's identity mixed into my soul A constant student who tries to join as many classes as I can in the grove, he notices how I behave with people in the grove, while I notice him and tend to his grave and grow flowers there in secret. He finds out, we slowly get close but always afraid to cross that line. Similar to how Cerces was afraid of Mystenia's love because she created her for companionship (and her love couldve been due to her being her maker), Anaxagoras is afraid of my love and hesitant to act on it. Despite it, he still accompanies me to Okhema, to bath houses/baths- I decide to leave on a journey one day and initially plan to wait and confess to him before my departure. Changing my mind, I suddenly depart earlier than planned and get caught up by the Black Tide. It is an unknown how I survived so long but they find me somewhere near Okhema. I recall warm memories of home in a comatose state but nothing regarding my recent identity or position at the grove. Few from the grove, along with Hyacine, come to investigate my case- and to better understand the black tide, but none mention it was /me/ that they found to Anaxagoras. He later finds out the hard way when he has to visit Okhema. He sees me from afar, in disbelief, but doesn't act on it. I later run into him (quite literally) at "nighttime" while chasing something that feels and tastes the same as those "warm memories". (I have more explanation for the whole "comatose" state and how I survived but it will get longer so I will shut up now). We reconnect in a way, I search for a specific garden in Okhema and converse with him often until I ask to visit the grove (the whole time Anaxagoras tries to remain silent as to not impact my decision making). As of now I am planning to make my selfinsert, inspired by his words and classes, design a fake that'll imitate the feeling of a coreflame to lure the Flame Chaser and go on another "trip" without telling anyone again to act as bait^^

...if you've read this far, thank you for your patience and everything else! also for vibes, fics or posts i made with some selfships in mind, i use my designated tags for some of them which I have written adn linked in my about post... this got so long idk how i didn't hit the character limit-- i think maybe asks no longer have a character limit on tumblr LMAOOOO. atp if there are any details or anyone i missed..... idc let and let live, my hands hurt T-T

[namgyunation]

Anon from before - haha you're welcome for more excuses to type. Thank you for respondinga! I honestly thought the same as you, but so many people on ig threads and reddit ones have been arguing this specific thing with me like "he was high so he must have thought it was min-su not nam-gyu". And fair enough about being high given what happened to gyeong-su, but the reason I don't buy that -apart from the fact that Him ditching nam-gyu after he was initially hesitant to give him pills he thought would hurt him doesn't make sense to me - is the way nam-gyu then very insincerely says "I told him you'd survive" like bruh did no such thing 💀 which sort of sets that up as a lie. then we have the "I'm sorry boyyyy! open the dooorrrr!" thing which again, insincere af before he's like I'M SO FUCKIN' ANGRY MAN111!!

And yeah I dont know if you watched the show in English/another language or in Korean with the subtitles but in the Korean version my subtitles said "thanks to you I bonded with nam-su here" when he's telling off mg coin in the beginning. Which seemed like a very genuine statement when he said because he didn't need to say it for any reason at that point, nam-gyu was already supporting him, he wasn't scared of him like min-su etc.

(adding onto this post with the other ask you sent me) +

Same anon also omg that photoset you reblogged where rjw says thanos looked down on him, yeah I think thanos sort of does that with everyone but the thing is, the others didn't care? Se-mi didnt care, gyeong-su is starstruck and not eeally noticing, min-su is scared. But nam-gyu cares. nam gyu's resentment combined with how he wants thanos to respect him and see him as his equal etc lowkey reminds me of like when you're seeing a guy and you want more/have feelings but they don't/are a fuckboy, is what I compared it to (a situation both me and a friend of mine who also saw it, have been in). I could honestly see that applying both for platonic (like gretchen and Regina in mean girls?) Or for more (he really did give the vibe that he was into thanos as more than a friend to me) but tldr; YES that is exactly how I interpreted them and I'm sorry I'm spamming you I'm just excited to find 1 other person outside of my friends group that has the same takes as me.

oh really?? i'm surprised ppl are fr arguing about that. i might be biased but idk. i thought it was pretty clear he was joking. he was already picking nam-gyu without a second thought throughout the whole game. it was never a question to thanos if nam-gyu was going to be paired up with him in all the previous rounds. it was always thanos and nam-gyu going, "ok, who's coming with us?" like when they made min-su and se-mi rock paper scissors to determine who they'd take. they didn't have to ask each other if they were going to be together!

i mean, it's fair to say that since he was high, the possibility of him fr thinking he was with min-su could be there. but ehhhh idk. min-su went along with what thanos said out of fear and because he had no idea how to say no or stand up for himself, while nam-gyu enthusiastically followed him around and backed him up on everything, stroking his ego perfectly lol. min-su barely actually talks or makes the effort to talk with thanos (or nam-gyu). for someone who thinks so highly of himself, i feel like the choice for which of them to "save" and maintain the strongest alliance with would be clear for thanos, even when under the influence. also i saw someone comment this, but i think it’s funny to imagine that thanos also favored nam-gyu over min-su in that moment because nam-gyu returned his weird ass head shake thing LMAO

and yeah the whole 'bullying min-su in the bathroom' scene. no hesitation from thanos to try and intimidate min-su and shove him back on the toilet, all the exaggerated sweetness from earlier gone. and then ofc nam-gyu's pathetic ass is there again to back him up like thanos knew he would LOL

thanos knew that choosing nam-gyu over min-su would be more beneficial to him because of the fact that he happily follows whatever thanos wants, while min-su's growing increasingly rattled and is obviously taking more and more convincing to keep voting the way he wants him to.

and yes i watched it in kr! i agree with what you said. because of how thanos's personality is, i wouldn't be surprised if he played it up a bit / exaggerated how deeply he and nam-gyu "bonded" especially with how he added "because.. we shared the same pain 😿😿</3", but either way i do see it as a genuine statement. probably also said it to intimidate mg coin more and make it clear to him that (at least) two of the dudes he was now stuck in this confined space with did notttt fuck with him at all and were likely going to give him a really hard time

and then to respond to the second part of your ask—

i agree! and i'd say that top basically confirmed that in his netflix interview.

"before facing off against the front man, thanos probably thinks he's the boss there. after getting beat up... he probably confidently considers himself second in hierarchy."

thanos looks down on everyone no matter what. his ego is huge. the difference between him and nam-gyu (who i'd say also has a gigantic ego), is that thanos can actually somewhat back it up through his unwavering confidence and status. also, unlike nam-gyu, thanos's ego is pretty hard to bruise. he just seems so sure of himself, despite being cringey and a complete moron (said with love)

the others don't gaf fr! gyeong-su doesn't give a shit, clearly, he's just happy to be there and is pleased enough by the simple fact that thanos is letting him follow him around. se-mi thinks thanos is an idiot. she seems sure of herself, too, so why the hell would she care about what he thinks, of all people. and yeah, min-su is too terrified to care about how thanos views him lmao. he just doesn't want to die.

and then nam-gyu.... clearly has a lot of deep set issues and things that had to have happened to him in order for him to have grown up into the way he is: extremely sensitive and susceptible to the criticism/opinions of others, insecure, etc.

also i can totally see what you're saying with the whole fuckboy thing. nam-gyu always seems like he's trying to subtlely inch closer to thanos and advance their weird parasocial 'friendship' into something more genuine. nam-gyu likes the idea of being closer to a celebrity, someone who's 'cool', maybe he likes his music too idk, but either way the thought of being close to someone like thanos is tantalizing to him.

while i personally prefer to see the two of them in more of a 'bros' way, where nam-gyu is pathetically trying to get closer to thanos for the clout of being friends with someone with status whom he's a fan of, i also can see the appeal of seeing it in a more 'shippy' context. it could go either way, and i feel that's where personal interpretation and headcanons come in.

also just a random comment, but nam-gyu's behavior reminds me a lot of the whole 'group leader' meme (2 examples linked lol) that went around, obviously with thanos being the 'group leader' and nam-gyu being the fucking loser constantly trying to impress him, and i just think that's funny as fuck, which i think is partly why i prefer to see them in a more platonic sense lmao.

despite nam-gyu's efforts, i really don't think their relationship advances much. there's some level of mutual trust there, like 'you have my back, i got yours', but beyond that, i wouldn't say i could see either of them genuinely opening up to the other or anything. nam-gyu repressed all his animosity towards thanos that slowly built up over the duration of the series. it's so hard for him to be honest and upfront about his feelings, clearly. thanos never saw nam-gyu as an equal, nor did he ever really respect him lmao. though in an au where they survived the games and actually talked to each other when they're NOT under the influence or desperately trying not to die, i could totally see them being actual friends.

i'd honestly argue that thanos didn't care nearly as much about nam-gyu as people try to make it seem (at least in the canon moments in the show that we see up until thanos's death). definitely don't see him caring about nam-gyu in a head over heels romantic sense, nor in a 'omg bestie bae forever and ever; we're so soul-bonded and you get me in every single way kyaaaaaa i luv uuuuuuu let's get noodles and drinks after the games mwah mwah <3'

NOT saying that i think he completely didn't care about him. he did care, but i personally view thanos's 'care' for nam-gyu being as simple and surface-level as "oh this guy hates the same dude as me, and he does what i want. that's my bro now. he's chill enough, and also won't stop fucking bothering me, so i'll give him the drugs." and then he shows concern over nam-gyu's arm in like a "damn, alright...!" way. he also shows concern in the basic sense that he doesn't want nam-gyu to die, which isn't that special. he was really rattled over what happened to mina in the first game. i don't think he consciously wanted anyone to die (except maybe mg coin LOL).

"i always thought thanos had the intelligence of a goldfish." - top

yeah, that guy is NOT forming any deep thoughts!

anyways. that was a fucking lot i'm sorry LOL

and omfgggg pls do NAWT apologize for spamming me LMAO; i encourage it. i'm insane about squid game (and nam-gyu) right now so i really do like hearing other people's thoughts about the characters!!! i'm legit hanging out with tumbleweeds in the desert rn

also a big part of the reason i make those posts anyways is bc it makes me feel so happy and also sane when other people say they have the same takes as me, especially since most of the fan content i see usually contradicts how i personally view these guys LOL so props to your friend group <333

[thebroccolination]

it confuses the hell out of me how Tumblr out of all places harbors most negativity toward BMF. situation it's much better now though, but the early period and before the show aired was nothing but spite an vitriol filling the tags. on the bright side, pretty much every other platform is head over heels for BMF, especially Reddit. they're usually critical af but BMF seems to be universally praised. anyways, I'm beyond excited for the remaining eps, and here's hoping for a strong finale so this show becomes one of the often recommended ones 🙏

On BMF getting more negativity on Tumblr than other places:

I thiiiiink it's because Tumblr has an especially high North American/European user base, and that's where the majority of the Krist hate seems to come from. What people still point to (the IG story, the rape filter joke, the "I don't want to watch Singto specifically kiss other men because this is fanservice on a variety TV show that people are going to quote out of context as me saying I don't like watching men kiss" thing) are either debunked or happened years ago, but when interfans arrived in droves in 2020, they kicked up old news like it was brand new and passed around hearsay like it was fact.

I mean, even I've learned new things since I made my post and thread about Krist back in September. For one, GMM didn't arrange his press conference in 2020 to address the issues. Krist did. Even though he'd already apologized multiple times over the years for things he never repeated, he still wanted to take accountability because of the amount of attention interfans were bringing to it. Part of that press conference was Krist even saying he'd never make excuses for what he's done and that he'll apologize as long as he's asked to.

The first(?) apology Krist made for the IG story was long, long ago, one I can't even find a translation for, that's how long ago it was. But Krist's long-time fans said that someone did translate it, but their English wasn't strong, so interfans picked apart their translation as if Krist's apology was lacking. (It's like how some interfans criticized Win in Between Us for being forceful because the subtitles originally said "kiss me" when what he actually said in Thai was "can I kiss you?" Interfans who don't speak Thai just make assumptions based on translations sometimes and it's part of my villain origin story.) Again, I don't have the apology to hand, but apparently one part of it was Krist saying something like, "I responded without thinking of how it would look. As a Y actor, I don't have those kinds of bigoted thoughts. This is my home, and I'm very proud of and supportive of the community that's raised me and cared for me," and the fan translation apparently paraphrased all of that into something like, "As a BL actor, of course I'm not homophobic." So like. Even when he's apologized, interfans have historically found a way to throw rocks at him anyway, so it gets exhausting to see people casually calling him homophobic because Melanie in Minnesota saw a screenshot of an IG story on Twitter and then made a list of six problematic BL actors you should definitely avoid because they skin babies and punt puppies into volcanoes.

On BMF being great:

I'm so excited for the last three episodes. \:D/

I'm so proud of Krist and Gawin for the work they've done up until now. It's wild to think about the amount of information they had to keep in mind as they were filming. Because, like, series already film out of order, but they also had to keep in mind different timelines of the same characters out of order. The fact that you can see not only Kawi's growth but everyone else's as well so fluidly and consistently over the episodes so far says a great deal about the quality of the production, I think. The directing, the writing, the acting. All of it is really, truly phenomenal.

Aaahhhh why is it only Tuesday. :'(

ANYWAY thank you, Anon! Sorry for the rant about Krist. I'm just tired of seeing him get so much hate for years on end when he's such a loving and giving person who's been a vocal queer ally since SOTUS. Not just during Pride, either. He really has been deeply misconstrued by interfans at large, and I just hope the people who've made up their minds about hating him (and the ones who've made their hate so public they're too stubborn to admit they misread him) will just learn to ignore him and stop tormenting him. He's already suffered panic attacks and depression as a result of the constant abuse, and it's repulsive that anyone thinks that's acceptable to do.

[star-drip]

random lore update that makes no sense again and probably overlaps and contradicts everything!! yay!!!

anyway, my favorite thing about the cult in my paracosm is how closely it follows the "boiling frog" metaphor.

(ig i should put a tw for the mention of animal harm, also transphobia/death/harm mentions)

"The boiling frog is an apologue describing a frog being slowly boiled alive. The premise is that if a frog is put suddenly into boiling water, it will jump out, but if the frog is put in tepid water which is then brought to a boil slowly, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death. The story is often used as a metaphor for the inability or unwillingness of people to react to or be aware of sinister threats that arise gradually rather than suddenly."

i've always loved learning about cults and groups of people who share some kind of unique practice/belief. real stories and fictional stories are both equally as interesting imo. my favorites have always been the ones that are morally wrong to us but so normal to the group. i also just like the "evil" ones lmao.

OH MY GOD I WANT TO REWATCH HEREDITARY!!! i feel like it is perfect inspo for how i kind of want to go with my paracosm's cult. (hard movie to watch though. mentally draining asf. the lore is amazing though)

if it wasn't horrendously obvious, the way my paracosm operates changes all the time, but the main theme of manipulation and cold comfort always stays the same. >:)

they worship demons, yes, but they also just believe a bunch of random shit for no real reason. like, how butterflies mean somebody is blessed and how moths can "tell them" to harm/possess/people. they often use this to make excuses to sacrifice people. they also drop their blood on random flowers as a gift to nature. like, okay, you do you. i guess. 🥰

so for some shit i already mentioned a long time ago (i think), emerson was given to her aunt, because she was born after luca. her mom only wanted one kid and not two. emerson is still fully aware of this shit with the cult and branded, but she's still not fully immersed into it like luca is (they are also severely transphobic to him so that's fun!)

fun fact! anyone seen as "possessed/part demon" is seen as "godly" until they step into the real world that has regular beliefs! then it is basically the purest form of evil! fun!

most people in the cult are "cursed" at a young age to be like this. it causes the curse to be branded on their skin. :3

this cult is basically the rival to like anyone's morals ever. you will be seen as the worst person ever by everybody if you are in this cult. everyone who is a part of this has to hide the branding at all times and show no signs of the "demon magic," whatever the hell that is.

BACK TO THE MANIPULATIVE SHIT

basically, they do what any cult does. they find vulnerable people and preach their beliefs to them, telling them how much it changed their lives for the better. they will even tell fake stories. they just want their group to grow more powerful.

what are their main beliefs? these demons are good guys and not horrible pieces of shit like everyone says! they make you soo connected to the spirits (yes there is a spirit world that people can go to. not everyone can access it) and totally not draining you of your soul! you just have the most powerful religion!! it's powers!!

honestly, half of the people that grew up around this stuff just assume it's normal until, one day, they realize it's not?? scary shit. i love that shit. i love the crisis moments.

the people that end up being sacrificed are often the ones that find out how bad it actually is too, and they tried to get help (wonderful. spectacular. nobody saw that coming).

what exactly is bad about it though besides killing people? 😟

(tw again) promotes harm of any kind. self harm, abuse, sacrifice, promoting false hope, feeds on weakness- tells them that this is all for a good cause, it is not. lmao.

i don't have it all figured out. i still don't have any real rules for the magic. it's just kinda there right now. 🥰

OH. do luca and emerson's friends know? NOT YET. (except for aiden because he was low key involved for a minute).

okay bye.

(oh, also, the spirit world rivals with the demonic part all the time. it's almost like kingdoms or parts of land or some shit.) byeee

[thelonesomequeen]

Seriously, they actually believe that calling his wife an escort and harassing him and they’re friends and family is actually helping him. They think they know more about him then he does. They even claimed they are trying to save his career 🤭//

and they continually blame it all on Chris because he brought her into their world. They never take any responsibility for their actions. It’s always it’s Chris’s fault.

Yep Chris has made them behave like they do and because they have this version of what AB is like in their heads they think it’s ok to body shame and name call her and not only her but just about anyone connected to either of them. The false accusations they started and others believe them. How many times have you seen her described as an escort and that other word with absolutely no evidence its true.

I can’t imagine what kind of DMs they have received.

The fact they can’t walk away shows just how obsessed they all are and you have to laugh at their excuses as to why they are still here. “I just want to see how it ends”, “I just here for the fun” etc

And everytime someone has a different opinion to them they are immediately labelled as a plant or someone from their team. Every time something happens it a plant or planned. God if you believe them AB spends all day on tumblr/IG/LSA.🙄

They are so predictable with their actions. It funny to watch

And they really think they know what Chris and co are doing all the time.

The most hilarious thing is they going on how they are not private and yet here we are not knowing anything about their lives. Now and then there’s but we see of her with friends or a sighting (which is always labeled as fake if it’s a him with her unless there’s pictures and even then they are called photoshopped or not them or old)

They go on about the thousands of articles about the wedding but again no real details of the event and we don’t even know if the whole NDA thing is actually true. I mean the articles can’t even agree on the location in MA and I think that’s the way Chris wants it. He has closed off from the public it’s so obvious and a small bit of that is because of the ‘crazy but we’re not crazy fans. If I saw like I did the other day someone wishing my partner would die I certainly would turn away from the public/fandom. The so called fandom/hate accounts have only themselves to blame.

[larkwinged]

hi artemis!!! 👋🏻 i hope you’re doing well 💕 for the selfship asks, could i get tiramisu, flan, and churros? 👀

KAYYYY OMG HIHI !!! \o/ i went with fyreflower for this one (ˊ ˘ ˋ˶)

tiramisu — how did you and your lover meet?

on penacony ! firefly was running away from the bloodhound family’s guards and stumbled into a dressing room in the grand theatre. the room was mostly dark, so she wasn’t aware it was occupied at first. she let out a relieved sigh at hearing the guards’ footsteps run past, and began to relax, when the lights flicked on. an irritable dahlia was face to face with her, cornering her.

( “how dare you enter my dressing room!”

“o-oh! i’m sorry, i thought this was an empty room…”

“well, it’s not. what if i had been naked, hm? you would’ve infringed upon my privacy. actually, you’re doing it right now. get out!” )

to say it was a rocky first meeting is an understatement 😭 dahlia gave her HELL for that LMAO. she spent a week or two making it up to the actress !! over those two weeks, she found herself growing fond of dal despite dal being a full fledged primadonna. next thing she knew, she was falling HARD for dahlia fmdkskd

flan — what attracted you to them

okay so i - not dahlia - IMMEDIATELY loved firefly from the moment we saw a picture of her before penacony, and when we first met her in game too !!! i just fell in love with her design, her sweet nature, and honestly just everything about her. the fact that she ended up being one of THE COOLEST characters in the game just drew me in more and more

i’ve always loved complex characters above anything else - characters whose lore is so complex it’s different from the others, characters who r op, ones who look harmless but r actually the strongest in their respective universe, etc etc. so im rlly not surprised i got so attached to firefly. she has a HUGE MECHA THAT SHE PILOTS. DO NOT TELL ME THAT ISNT THE MOST BADASS THING EVER. she’s playful, kind, cutieful, loves sweets, wants to live for herself, independent, friendly, compassionate, oh man i could go on and on.

and ofc i ADORE that she’s ruthless as sam. she’ll kill without a second thought, she’s dangerous and the second most wanted criminal out of the stellaron hunters (technically 3rd ig cause elio), she causes mass destruction with her huge mecha, BADASS MIGHT I ADD, SCARY DOG PRIVILEGES WITH SAID MECHA uwahh im swooning ..

OKAY AS FOR DAL - she was attracted to how mysterious firefly was when they first met. she’s not dumb, she knew firefly was being hunted by the bloodhound family and allowed firefly to stay in her dressing room for awhile … ( which is why firefly was there with her for 2 weeks in the first place ).

she wanted to know more about the mysterious girl who was being chased, but she also didn’t wanna show her interest cause she thought it made her look desperate LOL. so instead she made firefly do all these random tasks for her and act as her bodyguard for awhile and slowly but surely asked some questions over that period of time. she also found herself folding whenever firefly would look concerned or worried for her, and brought her food without warning. AND when firefly began getting bolder and asked to do dal’s makeup, hair, or needed to “fix something” on dal’s costumes 🫣 ( ofc that was a lie - nothing needed to be fixed, she just wanted excuses to touch dahlia hehehe )

churros — what about them gives you butterflies? what about you gives them butterflies?

i kinda listed a few above, but dal ALWAYS gets flustered when firefly does things for her. she’s had people waiting on her hand and foot since she was a child, but it’s different with firefly bc firefly WANTS to do all this for her. she’s doing it bc she WANTS to, not bc she needs to. she’s doing bakes sweets and brings them to dal simply bc she knows it’ll make her smile. she’ll buy her smth she thinks she’ll like when she’s out shopping. she offers to do dal’s makeup and hair bc she likes spending time with her and letting her relax for once. she picks up all of dal’s new costumes for her, and even pays for said costumes. also - any act of physical touch makes dal all stuttery and blushy hehe >///<

as for firefly - she always gets butterflies when she sees dal wearing minimal clothing 🫣 dahlia wears things like this often:

and shows a lot of skin - which is very normal for her - but there’s something very intimate about dal only wearing these things around firefly. it makes her feel special for getting to see a side of dahlia no one else can. even that thought will make butterflies erupt in her stomach gndnfm and she also gets butterflies whenever dal smiles bc she thinks her smile is radiant :3

[iwanttohavesexwithvifromarcane]

ok im logging on this morning cuz honestly seeing the way the yjs fandom has reacted to the season finale so far is so refreshing after seeing the way the arcane fandom reacted to s2 n i need to vent. its so nice to see ppl openly criticize a show again that they love n not have arguments about how disliking a character makes u immature or immoral lmfao. n no one in the comments or the masses r calling u mentally challenged cuz u didnt like the plot or was disappointed in a character's arc lmfao. or disappointed in the way the writers handled the themes n shit n how they basically lied about the season b4 it aired. i havent seen bullshit about media literacy either so far, at least not in the way arcane fandom was doing it by using it to defend romanticization of violent n organized oppression n romantic abuse lol. n also most ppl collectively agree that the way the show is going is ass n was poorly done. the fact that the arcane fandom on here had to make their own hashtag for criticism too while im just looking up the regular hashtags for yjs everyone is just openly admitting the s3 finale was ass n that the entire season was lackluster lol. arcane s2 n yjs s3 flopped entirely in their own ways n sometimes in the same way lol but the yjs fandom seems to me more levelheaded about it. they're not crying n throwing tantrums cuz they keep coming across rare criticism n what not. idk i think yjs did something arcane couldnt which is actually show shauna doing the horrible things n ascending as this dictator leader lol. arcane wanted that aesthetic for caitlyn n the fandom loves it too but the writers chickened out with the arc they were building for caitlyn n her stans can just move on from it cuz they skipped that era of her life n excused it within the narrative. i saw ppl praising arcane for forcing u to see caitlyn's actions through her POV but that translates to the narrative excusing caitlyn's actions to me cuz they actually sucked at this. they skipped all of caitlyn's dictator arc. yjs showed shauna openly getting off to hunting n killing mari n just the pure rage n jealousy the entire season n she even had her actual toxic yuri moments with melissa. but the narrative actually pays off n is actually punishing her for it n giving her consequences. its not personally in a satisfying way for me but the narrative isnt 100% on her side like it was in arcane for the piltover. i dont think arcane ever did that truly with caitlyn which just makes me hate that show further cuz the fandom is once again praising arcane for something it actually sucked at. like listening to the arcane fandom for the last 4 and a half months has rotted my brain. tbf s2 traumatized me in a way lol idk. i genuinely feel like a cult survivor having gotten away from that garbage n looking at the yjs fandom n seeing how normal ppl r. like seeing ppl actually disappointed in lottie's character development n her death n actually being angry about n also seeing her adult actor being like yeah that shit was ass lol. meanwhile with arcane ppl were happy with vi being treated like dirt cuz they got the juicy sesbian lex which is all shes worth ig lol. ok im crashing out now bye.

[hislittleraincloud]

“She hasn’t said anything because her stans” Anon be serious, her stans HATE Miller’s Girl but she at least posted stories about it. Stop making excuses for Jenna lmaooo. She had the courage to post about Palestine despite the fact that a lot of people are zionists but is afraid of posting about some romcom movie?

I don't know what stories Ortega posted abt MG because I was too busy writing AB. But from what we did see, I saw VERY LITTLE promotion for Miller's Girl. In fact I think it might've been either the Anon who told me that there was a movie about an Afterburn Wednesday-like character she was playing and that was just before I published the chapter with the MG-like flashback w/Fortunato in it...it was either that Anon or the fic wife, and either way, I didn't see a damn thing about it.

But as for WSSF, let's say that Jercy was an actual thing. That you know, in the normal days of television before this shitty internet happened, that's what co-stars who were attracted to each other would do, and co-stars who are attracted to each other often go do little pet side projects together (or go to fashion and awards shows together). And let's just say, for the sake of argument, that Jercy was happy together before all of the Wenclairs went completely psycho on PHW because of some misplaced possessive protectiveness of JO. That during that happiness, they made a little movie together, a movie they both thought might slip into the pocket of their shared experiences as the weird Tim Burton power couple as they continued on with Wednesday.

If you were Ortega, how would you fucking feel right now about it?

I think the drinking's probably a tell (and may be one of the reasons she's just started...looking like she does). Y'all don't want her to have anything nice, you just want to use her as the rubber doll that you use her as with all of those goddamn Jenna Ortega x reader 'fics'.

Also re: the Palestine stuff, she links but does/says nothing else while Barrera is always yammering on about it on her IG. She's left her charity stuff (all/most of the activist things she "cared about" when she was a teen) behind as far as I can see (if not, feel free to UD me). She seems to want to be that rubber doll for us...disengaging from fans is part of that "here, lookit my face/tits, lookit my work, love me" ride she's on (it's funny because celebs like that often whine about not being understood or appreciated for who they are as people, wahhh I got feelings blah blah...then they refuse to tell us who they are as people, or they make up shit for 🌸Stories🌸).

I mean, do it now before things really go South, do it while young...but don't forget that we have a glut of info/entertainment already and don't get upset over the sketchier things you yourself stepped into eyes wide open.

Ha ha, I think this is the whiplash another Anon mentioned regarding how I yap about her. I guess that I have a compulsion to temper things with a little reality dressing due to the fickle nature of humans. ETA: BRUH THIS IS ONE OF THOSE ANONS I THOUGHT I PUBLISHED LOL

I think it's a combination of the weed, the writing, and whatever the fk else has been on my mind that's making it hard for me to focus. I should try meth again.

[mono-red-menace]

haven't really been checking my notes that much and i didn't realise that post about privilege started spreading.

don't like that because it wasn't well worded ig. i saw some replies which made me think people were taking it as "you hold no responsibility for your privilege whatsoever, it's wholly a structural thing," which wasn't my intent.

my intent was "your privilege isn't a brand on you which marks you as One Of The Bad Guys. that's a juvenile interpretation. the world isn't a cartoon. you still have to accept your privilege, and be responsible and educated about it, and stop being defensive about how you Can't Possibly Have Privilege because you're Trans and Have ADHD and whatever else."

i feel like every single post on here you have to think of every single way someone can misinterpret it and snuff it out before they can misinterpret it, which is. horribly exhausting. like i wanted to talk about it a bit bc i was seeing this attitude that being LGBT disqualifies you from having white privilege. or that being trans means you can't be transmisogynistic, both of which are false, yk, and i think it stems from that place i was talking about, of people taking Privilege as some Brand Of Evil.

i was just making a comment about how people think of the world as Oppressors Who Can Only Oppress and Victims Who Can Only Be Victimised and it's so frustratingly juvenile and leads to the worst shit imaginable.

like TER/Fs. like the whole thing with them is that they see Woman as a Victim class which can Only Be Victimised, consisting of all the "Females" (in which they include trans men) and Man as an Oppressor class which can Only Oppress, consisting of all the "Males" (in which they include trans women).

(disclaimer for that previous section. when i am talking about which groups they see as Female and Male, i am not saying they don't hold transphobic views against trans men. very commonly, they hold the belief that they are "misguided females who want to escape the patriarchy," which is an extremely transphobic view, and my statement about them seeing trans women as Males is to say that they see trans women as an Oppressor, despite holding privilege over them.)

the whole ideology is an extremely reactionary movement based in this juvenile worldview, in which they do not believe they are able to hold any privilege whatsoever, and therefore they are FAR more likely to wield that privilege against people they are privileged over. they are permanently in a state of reaction and victimisation which enables them to wield their privileges over others as a cudgel, all the while feeling as though they are in the right for it.

they often take the fact that they are women to the conclusion that they are one of the "Good Guys" and they are therefore immune to being one of the "Bad Guys."

and like. the far righters have a different take on it, which varies between them, but some common ones are that They're actually the oppressed ones, not people of colour or jewish people or anyone else. Them, white christians. They often view their being told they hold privilege in a very different way, which is that it's a label that is used to Silence them. to brand them "Bad Guys." which actually "proves" that they're the "Good Guys," and are oppressed.

they are aware of their privileges, and shunt the responsibility away, and then excuse their decision to not be responsible for their privilege by saying things like "Racism is over, but now it's being turned On Us, because the people we were racist to Want Revenge!" or some stupid shit. (this can also progress to "racism is over but it was actually good" or "racism never happened" or some other positions)

they take it to the other extreme. no responsibility for their privilege whatsoever.

you can still hold privilege. be aware of that. always be aware of that.

but it is not a brand on you. you are not The Bad Guys Who Can Only Oppress And Can't Be Oppressed.

Stop taking everything in these extremely juvenile black and white ways, for real.

idk if this is clear enough. 🫠 i really really really hate how Excruciatingly Precise you have to be so people don't take what you want to say the wrong way.

[itzsana-kiddingmenow]

Sanaa I had the weirdest dream. I won’t explain it all because I'm lazy, but I'm friends with my ex. I know it's a bit weird to be friends; actually, we are best friends, but anyways, so R was hanging out with my ex. Wait, let's give names. My ex is “M," and my friend is “R." They are hanging out together, and they posted a picture on Snap. You can't see Ms. face, but I know her well enough to tell that it's her, and I see it, and, not gonna lie, I get pretty jealous. A few days later, I was at a shop, and I was about to close the curtain on the changing rooms when R showed up. Btw, I was not talking to M for god knows what reason, and since R is my best friend, I told her that I wasn’t talking to her. Then R told me to hide and kept looking in a direction, and I knew that it was M. Just when R was going to close the curtain, M showed up, and she looked at me and said, Why are you hiding from me? What did I do to you? And then I ran away while I chased her. Im gonma cut short, we talked, and then this is really random, but its a dream. She said let's go to the amusement park, so we went there, and I woke up. But the interesting part is that most of these also happened in real life, and it was a few days ago. I did see R post a snap with M, and M's face was in fact not in the picture, and I haven't been talking to M since Saturday, which is long. We always send each other stuff, including amusement park stuff. I wanted to go to the amusement park with her, but she kept making excuses, and we didn't go there. I saw it in my dream, so I must’ve really wanted to with her IG, and also, im not gonna lie, I was jealous when I saw Rs snap with M.

I told you i wasn’t gonna explain it all but i kinda did

I yap so much 😔

⁉️⁉️⁉️ OMGGG????

damn that’s crazy i would’ve throught i was supernatural or some shit…

i think you need to fix that relationship with m and r cause otherwise bbygirl things are gonna get WILD. i think you should try and talk to r at least yk??

i don’t mind that you yap, i love seeing long asks hehehehe 🥺🥺

[qolazz]

Haha I actually thought of this today before seeing this but a bit different, like yeah will shooting vecna and all that but I thought of how wills back in Hawkins and how everything is different now (also due to season 5 bts I deducted the rest of the party are a tinny bit distant from will)

Sooooo I was th of reasons and stuff considering there will be some time between s4 and s5 and what happened between that time

(Bit of context this “au” is my interpretation and wishes of how the show would happen so Eddie isn’t dead this is important considering he’s a big part of my plan thing) ok so I saw sooo many people saying Eddie and will would be incredible friends but what if they weren’t like in the end they are friends but what if WILL didn’t like eddie at first

(Ok so I got the idea from reading steddie fanfics and theories as one might happen to be doing and saw someone mention how yea eddie was bullied but he was a bully too) and I went down this rabbit hole of how “ohhhh Lucas wanted to change the most out of the partyyy” - not including will were thinking Hawkins - but what if Lucas changed the least? I always thought of the party as kids who STUDY and get GOOD GRADES yet mike has a c in Spanish??? And Dustin got suzie to change his grade bc it was bad??? So I feel like being around eddie - yes a protagonist can be a bad influence - who isn’t such a great person yes he has his reasons but still bullied ppl (ok I kinda feel like I’m sounding like a anti eddie or something so just to clarify I LOVE EDDIE) maybe influenced mike and Dustin to become worse ppl

I mean they skipped one of their BEST FRIENDS (who they’ve known for years) biggest achievements in something he liked just bc it wasn’t their interest and they had to attend a stupid dnd campaign for eddie a guy they’ve known for 6 months or less?!??

So considering will is probably gonna be staying at the wheelers and he’ll see just how much mike REALLY changed he’ll be idk mad or something, I mean will is probably gonna work hard to do his homework hand in any assignment study for a test and all that and he asks mike if he wants to join him but mikes kind of a douche now so he says (will isn’t bothered maybe mike wasn’t in the mood or already studied or has something important he has to do) but then he finds out mike isn’t doing his homework handing in assignments or studying for tests (realizing Dustin is in the same place as mike or something) and will slowly gets mad at him bc idk the party swore they’d always work hard for grades and stuff or whatever being smart and caring about grades was kinda their thing

Then will finds out Eddie is the influence of this behavior will and eddie haven’t talked much but now will is raging with anger whenever eddies around or is mentioned

Eddie catches on will doesn’t like him so he asks why (when they’re shouting and kinda arguing so) and will absolutely loses it he tells Eddie about how he robbed him of his friends (forgot to mention eddie will not let Dustin or mike really hang out with everyone else when he’s there except hellfire) and how he changed his friends for the worse and now he thinks he “doesn’t like them as much anymore” (not true will LOVES his friends he’s just mad) and it’s all eddies fault because he says he was bullied and blames everyone but now he’s bullying others too and out of all the stress will also reveals he would have liked to have someone who understands him by his side (great gaydar will i tell you) he slaps his hand over his mouth realizing he said too much

And eddie just stares at him

He remembers of how Steve or Robin once told him of how he says he was bullied and yes he was but now he’s a bully too

And while still will has tears rolling down his face eddie does admit will is right and he doesn’t know what to do but ever since will the wise came back it’s all mike Dustin (and Lucas) have been talking about and he kinda got jealous ig

Will says that doesn’t excuse him from the fact his friends have been influenced for the worst

Eddie agrees and says he wants to make it up to him, mike and Dustin also agree things did go too far and they kinda forgot what it’s like to have will around to always bring out the best in them and they promise to change but they also ask what will ment by “someone who understands” will tells them to forget about it bc it’s weird but eddie says that he would like someone to talk to too finally realizing what will ment

So yeah in the end will eddie friendship real it’s very good and will helps Eddie plan campaigns and how to manage time so that everyone can live their lives, like damn will was ready to fight Eddie when he later found out about missing lucases game

But Yk it’s ok they’re super close now and are head over heels for mike and Steve with each others support (more or less eddie thinks will standards are super low but it’s just bc he’s super close with mike and jokes about it)

So isn’t really what you posted about but still will is super protective of his friends bc he wants what s best for them

This got so long ago my phone was lagging while writing this so sorry if there are spelling mistakes or phrases that don’t make sense

I need a fic about this 😔😔 someone feed me

Jealous mike this, protective mike that

Like okay but what about protective Will?? Will who won't take anymore shit? Will who'd use a gun do defend himself and his friends even if he hates it??

[hoghtastic]

I was told that some Stans allegedly think J reads this blog and some of her posts are intended to troll us. Apparently Stans find it enjoyable, because to them the fans who don’t like her are just jealous and haters anyway. And therefore J parading Alex, teasing and hinting isn’t that concerning but rather funny when we're angry or annoyed. OK.

First, let's assume she actually reads this blog and responds to criticism by posting his apartment and „unofficially“ officially says she moved in for example, like she did while he was in Paris. That would be a huge red flag for me. J has no reason to actively seek out and troll critical voices from the fandom in general. Her Instagram comments are positive. As far as I know, there were only 3-4 instances of fans writing something critical under her maaaaaany maaaany posts this year. And one fan asked her about the art she copied, that’s not critique or hate but just the truth exposed. Only three people or so from the 2.2m fans he had (mostly female) who criticized her publicly on IG, that’s almost nothing. It’s a very very mild reaction. Three people from the 2.2m fans are 0,000136%. (Even if it would be more it wouldn’t be a lot) And if anyone wants to talk about her DMs.

I personally don't care what happens in J's private messages. Firstly, she can set it up so that she doesn't see messages from people she doesn’t know personally and she doesn't have to read anything from followers she doesn't know personally anyway. Secondly, J could tell us anything, we ourselves can't look at her messages. So I don’t care. I care about what I can see and her public comments are all positive for her. I recall Stans excusing her „you snooze you…“ stunt with her responding to hate. Made no sense to me too. A : show me the shit storm she got that justified a revenge and B: what type of revenge is it to demonstrate your „power“ over the fans by demonstrating that she is in charge of Alex content? What type of character would do that?

Ok now we come to the fact that she wants to troll us with her stories. No, people, that sounds so stupid, I can't process it. Why should she? She has everything she wanted, right? She has a dream relationship with a man that is out of her league (my opinion) and her career is suddenly going places. If trolling us brings her joy, although she has a good life, she's a bad person period. And if I imagine that Stans celebrate that behavior, I find it disappointing too. For me, J's behavior is already pathological. She takes advantage of his fandom and Alex, takes over everything he has in high speed and triumphantly parades each step on social media but in a sneaky not too obvious way. But if I really believed that she posts certain things on social media specifically to make us angry or sad, I‘d additionally consider her evil. At the end of the day, we all love Alex, some more, others less. I can't speak for everyone, but for me, I think J will do him a lot of harm (in the grand scheme of things). That's why I'm not happy about them, but rather worried. And the Stans celebrating her trolling us would be weak of them in my opinion. 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Finally, I have to say I don't think she's reading this blog anyway. How would she know this blog? Most fans don’t even know about it.

I believe she is posting what she is posting because she's simply craving the attention she gets from the new followers and because they're all there because of Alex, she clings to him and his things like Gollum to his ring. As we could see, she had to claim his apartment publicly as her apartment because he was giving attention to his fans after a long time. She saw it on IG and she wasn’t involved. It bothered her. And one story wasn’t enough to show who’s boss but several stories in a row topped by a post reminding his fans that she was in Paris with him a year ago. I believe all the other pictures were just a pretense. I don’t think she came to this blog and saw some anonymous comments and therefore confirmed their living situation.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, anon, in a very well put manner. 😊 I absolutely agree with everything, especially that I also don't believe Johanne knows of or is reading the blog, and even if she was, to be bothered by and actively trolling a bunch of anonymous people on the internet would be kind of childish and I dare say plain sad, even for her. She's a public figure, she's put herself in a position that made some people dislike her, and she has to accept the fact that not everyone will adore her. No one is 100% liked by everyone and that's life. Which leads me to question, why are the stans bothered by this so much? Why do they automatically assume that those who don't like her are hateful and jealous? People are allowed to have an opinion, whether it's positive or negative, and shouldn't be afraid to share it or bullied for it. And that's exactly why this blog was created for, to grant everyone a safe, neutral space to voice their opinions. It was never meant to be a "hate blog" about Johanne, as some stans may see it, but the fact that most comments here are negative, in comparison to Instagram, where there's mostly praise, leads me to believe that people don't feel free to share them there, because everyone who dares disagree with them is automatically attacked and deemed a "hater", "not a true supporter", etc... Which is something I don't agree with. And the fact that the stans still stalk this blog and allegedly come up with such theories (that Johanne reads the blog and responds to criticism in a trolling manner), even finding them enjoyable and an adequate response, is in my opinion laughable to say the least. Why do they take personally what some anonymous people think about a person they support, but doesn't even know them? Why do they want everyone to love Johanne as much as they do? It was never that serious and personally, I couldn't care less that they love her so much. People are free to like or dislike whoever they want, so why don't they do the same? It reminds me of that saying about people with and without tattoos — "the only difference is that people with tattoos don't care if you don't have them".

But at the end of the day, Johanne is living her best life and we're all just a bunch of people commenting and gossiping for the fun of it. No one is going to hell for having a negative opinion, and no one will become her best friend or win a medal for adoring her and fighting every stranger online who doesn't like her. 🤷‍♀️ So yes, I'm an apologist for "live and let live" as long as we're all being respectful to one another, and can't really understand why the stans are always so serious about such matters.

[plwasehelpme]

literaryhomos on tumblr

C/W: gn!reader; angst; angst to fluff; worried tighnari; a brief mention of the words "borderline kill yourself" is a thing but it's just tighnari being scared :(; likely ooc, actually; i've never written for this sassy fox mushroom nerd before; no beta we die like signora; could be read as platonic but you gotta be blind as fuck my guy; hc that rukkashava mushrooms are toxic as fuck bc yk; they look it;

END C/W.

-

A/N: yeah i made this ig. i fell in love w/ tighnari at first sight and just ":]]]]" every time he went on screen. i didn't mean to make it angsty. i swear i didn't. anyways ty to this post for giving me ideas. you're to blame for this dumpster fire, buddy. 👍

So without further adieu ....

____________________________

Tighnari's Guide To Why You Should Not Eat Sentient Fungi (Or, Why You Should!)

_______________________________

"Are you doing this on purpose?"

"Doing what?"

You try to convince Tighnari that you have no idea what he's talking about, but judging by his reaction, it really doesn't seem to work.

It doesn't help that this is your third sweetwater mushroom this month.

"I have explained to you countless times what the effects of sweetwater mushrooms are. I've also explained the effects of raw rukkashava mushrooms, the large glowing mushrooms in the mushroom forest, and even the sentient fungi that riddle the forest grounds."

Tighnari opens his mouth before just sighing. You shrug. "I'm a bit forgetful?" It's a silly and sheepish response, but you're not very good at making up excuses. You'd think by the fourth or fifth scolding you would be.

Tighnari stammers for a bit, at a loss for words. That didn't work.

"You ate a sentient fungus. That is not forgetfulness that is- I don't even- what could possibly motivate you to eat a breathing, floating fungus?! Do you have a death wish?! We didn't even have a filled reaserch paper on what would happen if you tried to eat those because anyone who tried was a known idiot!  I can't even fathom an explanation as to why in the entirety of Teyvat-"

"Yep, I get it. I'm really stupid for doing a really dumb thing. Yeah, yeah. Anyways, would you mind readressing the toxic mushrooms again? Juuuust in case i do a stupid thing all over again? Please?" You give him your most convincing puppy eyes. They probably didn't work but he agrees anyways. You know he'd never miss a chance to rant about mushrooms.

You've always found his enthusiam about them endearing.

"... I don't exactly appreciate being interrupted, but it certainly couldn't hurt."

Tighnari clears his throat.

"The first and most important thing to note about Sumeru's fungi is that while some are edible, that's certainly not the case with all of them. Some fungi, like the sweetwater mushroom cause smaller adverse effects like halucinations, while others - rukkashava mushrooms, for instance - are potentially fatal. Distinguishing the difference between these mushrooms is extremely important ..."

You listen to him ramble on about the difference between edible and sweetwater mushrooms for the first half before moving on to rukkashavae fungi. He then explains the effects of the evolved fungi around Sumeru - emphasising that it's for your sake - and you wink at him. He glares at you before going back to what he was saying as you chuckle to yourself.

You haven't been a forest ranger for too long; you graduated under Tighnari pretty recently in fact. You had applied to be forest ranger trainee, and you were luckily accepted. Immediately, you saw Tighnari and if you didn't believe in love at first sight, you certainly did now.

When he introduced himself as your instructor, you mentally fist-pumped as he started to tell you about one of the most important lessons you'd ever learn as a trainee. The difference between fatal, poisonous, and harmless fungi.

Even though you did try to listen, you wouldn't stop staring at his ears. His big, tall, fluffy, ears that looked oh so soft. He seemed to notice evident by his mildly annoyed questioning of 'is something troubling you?' to which you practically begged to touch his ears. Much to your dismay, he replied with a very adamant 'no.' before continuing on. You giggled and just stared at him the whole way through.

After a while - and a lot of poisonous mushrooms - you two started to get closer. Tighnari may seem stern at first, but the way he tends to people shows that at the root of it all he does care; even while scolding it's in their best interests. You realized that when you two started joking around and having fun.

You didn't want to brag, but you felt a lot closer to Tighnari than the rest of the other trainees.

When you did finally graduate, you were happy. I mean, you were an official forest ranger now, how great is that? Tighnari even conrgatulated you for it personally. It made you feel great, but when you were put on a mission with someone other than Tighnari you started to feel a bit lonely.

It was sad, really. You and Tighnari were practically never paired together, and you couldn't really tell if you missed what you had or if you just missed Tighnari. It hurt, and so you tried to replace it.

You would joke around with your other partners. Play around, have some fun on missions the same way you used to with Tighnari.

It wasn't the same though.

Nobody would scold you while doing something stupid, yelling more as your giggles turn to laughter because they're so worked up.

Nobody would see a new plant or animal and immediately try to get your attention, this normally cold forest ranger going starry-eyed as you smile endearingly at him while he goes on and on about the local wildlife in this particular section of the forest.

Nobody would help you get out of the forest when you got lost, gesturing to follow him as he tells you he knows exactly where you are, occasionally gripping your wrist because 'you aren't paying attention' as you just giggle and tease him.

You'd tease him about little things, small things like how despite his aversion to touch, he'd still grip your wrist. How he'd change the subject as his ears and tail twitch - presumably from the storm, though you liked to think you were flustering him. You'd joke to him about it, saying that maybe it was just his excuse to touch you, but every time he touched your hand ever so slightly you felt fishes swimming circles around your stomach, usually accompanied by a cottonny feeling under your skin. Soft and fluffy, warm like your own personal blanket even as the cold, wet drops of  rain and dew hit your face from high-up leaves.

You remember thinking you were the only person who's wrist he's touched in a while, even if it is just to guide you out.

You remember how he never truly denied your claims.

At the end of it all, it was evident that you missed all those moments simply because it was Tighnari. You missed the fun because Tighnari was the only person you knew who could provide to you all those moments and more.

Moments that could of been.

Moments that should have been.

But, then you had an idea.

Tighnari's information abput mushrooms had always stood out to you, but you could never figure out why. You always remembered looking at various mushrooms and trying to figure out exactly why you found them so peculiar.

At least, until you accidentally ate a rukkashava mushroom.

Forgetting that they were inedible, nigh-deadly, and required immediate medical attention as soon as they were eaten, you decided to cook one as you couldn't find much food anywhere else. It looked alright, so it couldn't have been too bad, anyways.

Until you started getting dizzy, when your partner at the time asked if you were alright you responded with an obvious 'yes' obviously. I mean, so what? Maybe you were a little dizzy but it couldn't have been that bad. Sure, you walked into a tree twice, got them lost at least 4 times in the span of a few minutes, but everything was a-okay!

You passed out shortly after.

Only to wake up to a 'tsk' from a familiar voice.

Opening your eyes showed a small blur of green, white and black, with some very tall almost triangular appendages on top.

Tighnari?

He seemed to be tending to you, getting some sort of medicine as your head lay on his lap. Noticing you opened your eyes, he sighed, before asking why you had eaten an extremely rare, and more importantly extremely dangerous type of mushroom.

You explained that you had forgotten at the time and that you were hungry, because, well, you were, and you had. As Tighnari glared at you, seemingly looking for a more satisfactory answer. After not getting it, he just sighed, and told you not to do it again.

Huh?

Why didn't he ... ?

When you asked why Tighnari didn't scold you, he simply explained that he knows your potential and your mind. He knows that sometimes, you slip up and do something a little stupid. He understood that, and explained that it's fine to do that,

occasionally, nobody's perfect, afterall. Tighnari knew that with you and your experience, it was definitely the most likely out of all the possibilities to be just a silly little mistake, but asked for the next mistake not to be eating a potentially fatal mushroom. You giggled, and said it wouldn't.

Not by accident, anyway.

Suddenly, you had an idea.

Due to never being on the same missions with Tighnari, you never got to see him. If you had eaten a potentially poisonous mushroom, you were taken to see Tighnari.

After that little visit, and after you fully recovered, you decided on a way to be able to spend more time with your beloved little fox boy. A way that wouldn't really interfere with his work schedule, and a way that you could blame on just 'another messy slip-up.'

...

"... s'cuse me! Excuse me. Hello?"

Tighnari snapped his fingers in front of your face.

"Huh- what-?" You look around. That's right, you're facing the consequences of your actions.

Seems you spaced out for a bit.

"Oh. Hi, Tighnari!" You say, a cheerful tone dipped in honey. Excitement and a kind warmness swirl together and flood your prescence all over again before you freeze. Tighnari's arms are crossed and he's frowning. Usually, this would mean he's ready to scold you, but this is different.

It's an expression you've never seen before on him.

Was he mad? Agitated? No, he's scolded you hundreds of times, you'd know when he glares sharp, piercing daggers that bypass your eyes and into your soul. But, this time it's soft; instead of that light but familiar stabbing, you feel cold. Chilly, an icy feeling like lying under a waterfall, and as the water drops on your face, you start to look back with the same sorrowed expression.

Pity. No, worry.

He was worried about you.

" ... Are you alright?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm fine."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm okay, Tighnari. I promise."

Tighnari pauses.

"... Why are you doing this?"

" ... Doing what?"

This time, you didn't understand what he meant.

Tighnari touches your shoulder. He stares into you.

"I know what you're capable of. I've seen it firsthand. I've seen that even if if you make a mistake, you always learn and try never to do it again. I know you know well enough, so ..."

Tighnari pauses and looks away.

"Why do you keep trying to borderline kill yourself?"

You sit there, stunned. Somewhere down deep, you understood that maybe he was worried. Somewhere down deep, you may have even felt a little guilty for it.

But, none of that compares to how it all felt now.

As Tighnari got up, you wished now that you had realized how much you'd scared him. You wish now that he'd spoken up sooner and you wish now thay you had never missed him as much as you truly did.

That you had never been as selfish as you truly were.

The room falls silent, the only sound being the pattering of rain and the occasional crash of thunder. Neither you nor Tighnari dared look at eachother, in fear of seeing something you wouldn't like, despite your own glances. A particular loud crash of thunder and Tighnari brought his hand up to his ear, presumably to lessen the blow to his eardrums. He didn't remark about it, instead he wordlessly turned away from you to get an oral medication.

You were the first to break the silence.

" ... I missed you."

Tighnari's ear twitched as he stopped in his tracks. He seemed like he wanted to say something, yet he remained silent. He tilted his ear to you.

"I ... I wanted to spend time with you. I missed the times we had while I was in training. I missed your enthusiasium when you'd find an aspect of the wildlife and explain to me what it is, or how it works. I missed listening your voice even when you'd scold me for doing something dumb, like eating a sentient fungus, for intstance." You chuckled at the last sentance, almost sadly, still not daring to look up.

"I missed ... I missed you, Tighnari."

He was still silent, still standing in place. Still frozen on his way to find your medicine. You were looking down, almost scared to look up out of shame. Shame that such a small, personal issue, something so insignificant escalated to something that could make even the cold, stone-faced Tighnari lose his composure for the worst.

It was dumb. It was something you should have dealt with on your own.

Something you shouldn't have gotten him involved in.

Footsteps resumed as Tighnari quickly grabbed a bowl of your medicine. They got a little louder as Tighnari got closer before coming to a stop once more as you see his knees on the ground in your peripheral vision.

" ... Look at me."

It's gentle, yet you can't find it in yourself to look up. You look towards what you can see of him but you don't dare raise your head.

"Look at me."

He says it more sternly this time. You take a steady breath and look upward towards his face. He wears an indecipherable expression.

"Open up."

He brings a spoonful of liquid to your mouth. As you open your mouth, as the cold, bitter liquid slides down, Tighnari looks away. You both avoid eye contact as he puts the bowl down and you turn your head away. Then Tighnari just sighs.

"You didn't need to eat a poisonous mushroom to spend time with me, you know."

You look back at Tighnari, his expression still unsolvable.

"I understand that I am busy most days, whether it be my work or something else i happen to be preoccupied with."

His ears tilt down a bit, his tail curls into himself as he turns to face to you as well.

" ... But, if I do happen to be free one day."

He pauses again, avoiding eye contact.

" ... I've always felt that the best way to progress a relationship with someone is to, well, spend time with them."

He looks up at you again. You look back at him.

" ... If you wanted to."

You stare into eachother's eyes as each confession processes in the other's mind. The words swirl around with the returning fishes, minds and heartbeats racing between the two of you.

"I'd ... "

You look down, but not out of shame this time.

" ... I'd like that."

You smile as the words come out and your eyes trail back up to Tighari's face, dusted a barely noticable pink. Yours as well, probably, but you decide not to comment on it. At least, not at this moment.

" ... I would too."

Tighnari seemed to release a breath he didn't know he was holding, standing up and gesturing his hand out for you to grab. Ears perking up and tail uncoiling as you slide your hand into his own and get up. Both of you glance into eachother's eyes as that same warm, cottony blanket carressed you both once again.

"Just one thing."

You were broken out of your trance as Tighnari gave you a mildly agitated expression once again. You tilted your head, puzzled as Tighnari pinched his nose bridge.

"Don't ... Don't eat any more toxic mushrooms. Please."

Tighnari sighs exasperatedly as you give a cheeky smirk his way. The second he looks your way he crosses his arms and glares at you, a small pout apparent on his bottom lip. You laugh.

"Okay, okay! I won't, I won't."

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