#my dad has all but written out explicitly that he wants me to take the house | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

doctorprofessorsong · 6 months ago

Note

Hello! I recently watched The Winchesters and had a question, which I figured you could answer/discuss?

I'm aware that the show takes place in an Alt Universe, and that Spn's John never fell into the hunting life earlier, so he never knew Carlos personally. But still, it's still him — and he is not homophobic towards Carlos who is canonically bi. It can be argued that he just does not know, like he did not know about Carlos serving the Navy, but then what about Anton? We know Lata knows, of course. But has it been explicitly stated that Mary & John know too? And it's not like Carlos hides himself; he's open about his interests and that's amazing, but John is never portrayed as a Hater, no? Not in this sense in the show.

But we, as a fandom, have concluded that John is the reason for Dean's suppression of his own feelings — in general, and about being into men — but then... Carlos.

Did Dean assume his father would never approve? Because he never does of anything that has to do with feelings; it's always hunting and more hunting and revenge, of course. Is that what happened, rather than John actually being homophobic, he was a colossal failure of a parent who "just" pushed away his son(s) emotionally to a level where potential abuse and discouragement were more realistic than anything else? Does this also mean that when Dean does come out to John he would be supportive, at least, of this?

It's just been bugging me, is all.

Hoo boy. Throwing me an easy one before coffee, huh? :)

As a fun aside, there is a scene where a Carlos is mentioned in the mothership. It's not established to be the same Carlos in SPNwin, but the SPN episode was written by Robbie and he has acknowledged they are in his mind.

That doesn't get us to an answer, but it's nice to know that Dean and Sam possibly knew a version of Carlos.

Leading with the short answer to the actual question: what you have described regarding canon is a lot of assumptions and headcanons, which are fine and can absolutely be read as "John was just different in the different universes,' but I personally find that to be the boring answer. I think this fandom tends to write John as the evil bad dad, when a complex gray John is far meatier, so I'm often inclined to go deeper.

The answer I feel works better is the possibly unpopular opinion that we don't actually know John is homophobic at all and it's very possible Dean’s relationship with his father, while fraught with expectations in any number of ways, may not actually be driving his choice to live in the closet and/or his delayed realization of his sexual orientation. It's extremely possible John isn't homophobic at all. Dean may have read him that way or he may have felt pressure from external sources. These days my preferred reading tends to actually be something else entirely: that Dean knows he is queer and simply doesn't reveal it because he is of an era and a world where queerness is often not open and obvious to outsiders.

This is gonna be a long haul so I'm gonna pop in a courtesy cut and jump in. Don't worry. There WILL be headings and bullet points. Regret asking me yet? 😆

Is John homophobic?

Canon support

There isn't a ton of canon support for the homophobic John reading. That's not saying it isn't a valid reading. It's just that it's an interpretation and not fact. Here are the things I have seen or remember:

Martin and Tara - taking these together because they are a similar pattern. Both tell Dean his dad would be disappointed in him for running around with this male shaped monster (boyfriend). The textual reading is that John wouldn't want him running around with monsters. There is a subtexual reading that John wouldn't want him to have a boyfriend which is super valid. It just doesn't tell us much about John because 1. We know he was very black and white on monsters, 2. neither of these characters knows John that well. Tara got ghosted by him. It's possible this is a reflection of the larger hunter community (though possibly not even that). The point is it's canon evidence that can be taken either way.

Lee? A lot of people write that scene as John finding in them in a compromising position and I get it because Christian Kane and Jensen Ackles looked like they were about to sneak off to the bathroom, but the actual story is "You remember that time he caught us wasted on a Hunt? Hm? He was so mad, I-I thought he was gonna have an aneurysm." We know that John is really hard on Dean and Sam specifically because he chooses preparation for monsters over all (including their mental health) so this is absolutely consistent with his character regardless of any romance between them.

The nuns - this is not technically canon, but there is a story about John sending Dean on a solo hunt on his birthday to chase after queer nuns. First and foremost, I am noting this is sketchy from a canon/non-canon evidence perspective. It is something written and endorsed by SPN in the same way as the cartoon and the upcoming graphic novel. It's not fan fiction, but I would say it's not truly canon canon. But taking the evidence for what it is, it's interesting to note that in the journal John doesn't actually say anything homophobic. He describes the hunt as "Simple salt-and-burn mission. Nuns in love with each other, then discovered. Killed themselves." There's no commentary. No slurs. They were "in love." The real meat of the homophobia here is that he sent is queer son alone on his birthday to deal with them and it could be read as a message. That doesn't mean it's intended to be one.

That's all I can think of. It's not a lot and it's not definitive. It's perfectly valid to read it as support for homophobic John AND I think there may be some writer intent in the same way that monsters are often an allegory in the show and in media for queerness.

But it's also not a smoking gun. It's more of a unloaded gun with bullets next to it. So why do people think John is this super homophobic person?

Non-canon support and factors

There's a lot that goes into the interpretation of John that lies outside of the text.

His age and upbringing - He was raised in a time and place where acceptance of queer people wasn't exactly the default and then he went into the military which is also not exactly known for being particularly great for queer acceptance.

Classism - I say this gently to the fandom, but there is this idea that people who aren't in urban areas, and especially in poor rural areas must be homophobic. This comes up a lot in the Sam went to Stanford and is educated and therefore is a better ally headcanon. It's worth considering whether that is a factor here.

He raised his kids with military precision when he was around - there is no doubt that John was a hard man who treated his children like soldiers. A lot of people group gender and sexual orientation, especially when it comes to the gender aspects of masculinity where "be a man" and "be tougher" is frequently aimed at queer men. There's a lot of masculinity reinforcement for sure in the text and subtext of the show.

He's a bad dad and we're a bunch of traumatized queers with daddy issues. I know because I'm not only the owner, I'm a member.

I'm simplifying some of this, but there are a lot of factors that contribute to this reading and they are real and valid reasons. They just aren't textual and in some cases they are absolutely based in stereotypes. That's fine! Stereotypes aren't always incorrect. But they can be and it's worth wondering whether or not they are true.

There are plenty of people like John who are either not homophobic, or of the nature of it's fine if I don't see it variety of homophobia (which would actually be fairly logical to read into given the time and place of Dean's upbringing and the risk being openly queer presented especially for John who's priority is physical safety and preparation).

Personally, I find the lack of text to be fairly compelling, especially when we look at Dean's other behaviors, but that is my interpretation. I personally think John would have a problem with a monster boyfriend because of the monster bit, but doesn't give a fuck about the boyfriend bit except to the extent it may draw danger. I don't actually think John fits the rural strict father homophobic stereotype very well. He's not particularly religious. He doesn't seem to care what his kids do as long as they are safe and in the family business. He doesn't quiz Dean about where he was or who he was with.

I grew up in the South and have known a lot of homophobic parents in my day (including my own! See above). The pattern is often a parent who wants their kid to meet a certain social standard. Don't be gay because it will reflect bad on the family and you will go to hell. John shows negative interest in that arena.

He shows some of the don't be gay because it isn't manly aspects of that type of parent, but I also think a lot of people conflate masculinity with sexual orientation in this analysis. I say this specifically nodding to the Krikpe quote about umbrellas which in no way mentions being gay, but does mention being tough hunters not scared of demons. The text of that tweet and the story the fandom tells are two very distinct things.

It's very possible that those aspects of John's personality are part of why Dean performs tough het male so hard and that would be an aspect of what you are describing. I will also say however that Dean cries a lot. He's very open with his emotions and with caring for people. He's very good with people. Hes always been openly a caretaker. So he isn't performing masculinity so hard that those pieces of him are erased or hidden.

Why is Dean Like That if it isn't the daddy issues?

Let's look at this as if John wasn't openly and particularly notably homophobic. That is to say he had the casual homophobia of the 80s and 90s combined with a friend group of hypermasculine beer and bourbon drinking dudes with guns, but he wasn't, say, abusing Dean if he caught sight of potential gayness. Just to analyze the other question which is Dean's suppression of his feelings or denial of his queerness.

The fandom is not a monolith and I think there are lots of fans with lots of differing analysis in this arena, so I just want to again reiterate, this is all interpretation and headcanon! It's fine to fall anywhere in this spectrum.

Dean is Like That because he assumes he knows how his Dad would react

It's possible John talked about this idea that he has to get to an apple pie life long enough and made assumptions about the gender of his future partner, or that he was so neglectful or abusive, or that he made enough comments about being a "man" because he was worried about Dean being a victim, that Dean assumed his father would not support him. It's possible the canon events above where never intended to send a message to Dean that he still believed and read into them. That's not a criticism. We all interpret the things that happen to us. We are the ones who put meaning to an event, and that meaning may not match with the other person's intent. It doesn't make it invalid.

As you say, it may be a failure of parenting.

Dean is Like That because he grew up in the 80s and 90s

As someone who was born between Dean and Sam, I can say with the authority of experience that the 80s and 90s were a rough time to be queer. Like a really rough time. There were a lot of cultural things happening. Not to mention Dean had a rough upbringing.

HIV/AIDS - There are greater and more knowledgeable sources than me about this topic, but growing up during this time I can say that people were absolutely fucking awful about HIV/AIDS. We had school assemblies full of misinformation. Scores of people were dying and being told they deserved it. A lot of queer kids were internalizing the idea that queerness was a death sentence. I cannot actually come up with a good comparison in modern day. It was absolutely awful for the community, and the messages being delivered to kids was: "if you choose to be gay, you will die."

Casual homophobia - Remember when Misha used the f-word and people lost their fucking minds even though he was talking about lived experiences for most of us of a certain age? Yeah, that outrage was unimaginable to me as a kid. The idea that people would ever get to a point where the use of the word in a non-slur posture would even register. Slurs were thrown around all the time. People and things were "gay" and that was bad. Dean spent time being thrown from school to school and it would have been a massively important for him to come in performing cool masculine untouchable guy who enjoys women.

Dean lives in a transient space - He's constantly alone and in charge in places where someone might take advantage of him or Sammy. Being noticed and assumed weak is dangerous.

Counterpoint: Dean's upbringing may support more comfort rather than less with queerness, but it encouraged secrecy

To fully contradict myself, Dean was in transient spaces. That means he would have been interacting with more queer people than the average suburban or rural teen. He's in truck stops and no-tell motels. That boy met queer people. But he met people who were living in the shadows. This isn't unusual for that era. Queerness to dean was cruising and truck stops and one night stands in seedy motels. Something to be done but not to be seen.

Dean's reaction to queer people in canon supports this reading. He's never disgusted, but he's often surprised specifically about open and public displays of queerness. He tends to react to openly queer people with surprise and longing, but specifically most of his oh right there are queer people faces are reactions to open displays of queerness.

Even HIV/AIDS may have hit different in the hunting community. Dean didn't expect to live to an old age. I say this mainly because the lack of blood squick.

Consider a reading that he knows

We have so many lovely coded moments of queer Dean. The bathroom he disappears into. The way he gets clocked and doesn't deny it at times. Any denials he makes can be read to be situations where he doesn't know what the other person will react like.

I think it's very possible he isn't repressed at all! He just uses the closet as a shield or he doesn't share that information with people unless he wants to/trusts them/feels it's relevant to them.

PS DM me if you want to chat more and also I may have a discord of interest.

#the winchesters #spnwin #supernatural #john winchester #dean winchester #john winchester & dean winchester #daddy issues #cw homophobia #cw mention of HIV/AIDS

93 notes · View notes

stobinesque · 1 year ago

Text

Make Me Write: SNIPPET

The people have spoken and the people want Jeff to be Steve's bisexual awakening! I now have ~1.7k words written of this fic that had previously been a vague outline in the back of my head. Full disclosure, though: the "awakening" part of this is going to take a good long while for our beloved Steve.

I'm tagging everyone who explicitly requested this for WIP Wednesday (I counted each request as 3 additional sentences to my total count). But I'm going to hang onto the asks and use them for future motivation!

SNIPPET BELOW!

The return to school is a rocky one. The worst of the bruising has faded, and Steve can finally make it through most of a day reasonably alert—at home, at least. But there’s still a persistent ache throughout his whole body, and the fluorescent lights at Hawkins High are suddenly audible in a way he doesn’t remember them being just a couple weeks ago. About halfway through second period he develops a splitting headache that only gets worse as the hours tick by, and he feels seconds away from losing a breakfast he didn’t eat.

And that’s just the physical stuff. Returning to the social feeding frenzy of a small-town high school stuffed with teens with nothing to do than stick their noses all the way up the asses of everyone around them after getting his lights knocked out by the shiny new guy… Max may have knocked Billy out, but Billy’s not the one who had to take a week and a half off. Billy’s not the one with yellowing bruises splashed across his face. Billy’s had time to fashion himself a little amateur PR campaign, with Tommy Hagan as his own personal town crier.

It’s not like Steve had any particular interest in continuing to hover at the periphery of the circles he��d once been the ringleader of. But with Nancy tucked firmly into Jonathan’s side, and staunchly avoiding his gaze, and without the blandly polite interest of any of his other “friends,” Steve is just…adrift.

And on top of all of that, somehow a grade 3 concussion has not managed him a get out of jail free card for the stack of problem sets, papers, and tests he missed while he was out. Steve’s not totally convinced that a couple teachers didn’t tack on additional assignments out of spite.

“Mr. Harrington.”

Steve freezes with one foot in Mr. Donovan’s classroom. “Yes?”

“You’ll be making up the test you missed at the end of last week.”

“Didn’t I also miss the lessons for that test?”

“It’s not my fault if you didn’t have someone to take notes for you while you were away.”

“Away? I had a concussion.”

“Yes, and I’m sure you’ll think twice before getting up to whatever nonsense resulted in that unfortunate accident again. But that does not change the fact that you have a test you need take before you can continue in this class.”

Steve works his jaw, tempted to pull out the ‘my parents will be hearing about this’ card. He probably could get his mom to kick up enough of a fuss to get him out of the test. If he played his cards right, he might even manage to rile his dad enough to get Mr. Donovan fired. But either option was a devil’s bargain, and Steve has had quite enough of hell and its denizens to last himself at least two lifetimes.

Steve swallows down a retort—if he’s not going to try to manipulate his way out of this he’s certainly not going to dig his hole any deeper—and crosses to the front of the room to grab the test from Mr. Donovan’s hand.

***

Almost all of the tables in the small library are full by the time Steve shuffles through the door right on the heel of the final bell. The only one free is the rickety wooden table near the back that has one leg about half an inch too short that always wobbles whenever someone so much as looks at it. Steve sighs, but he resigns himself to sneaking a book thin enough to wedge under the table leg off the shelf while Mrs. Miller is looking away.

A minute later, Steve is cycling through a large stack of very small books when he’s startled by someone speaking from behind him. “I’d go with The Awakening.”

“Huh?” Steve doesn’t even turn around, singularly focused as he is on making this table passably usable for taking the goddamn Chemistry test.

“The Awakening? Kate Chopin? Perfect profile for wedging under there.”

Steve scans the spines of his pile until he spots the book. Fishing it out, he sees that there is a small indent on the front cover that looks suspiciously similar to the shape of the table feet. Sure enough, it settles into place easily, and winks the wobble into nonexistence.

“Perfect, thank you.” Steve finally turns enough to catch sight of his savior. It’s another kid from Donovan’s fifth period Chemistry, but Steve can’t recall his name. If he puts his mind to it and casts back far and wide, he can maybe conjure an image of a darker-skinned teen sitting at the same cafeteria table as Eddie freaking Munson, but there’s a strong chance Steve’s just extrapolating based on the fact that the guy is currently wearing one of the silly “Hellfire Club” t-shirts. Not that knowing his extracurriculars helps at all with remembering what to call him. Steve’s never been the best at names and faces, but he’s starting to think Billy knocked something loose up there when he knocked him out (that’s basically what a concussion is, right?), because he can usually at least come up with some vague impression of a sound even if it’s off. His head is totally blank on this one.

Trying to recall the guy’s name just leaves him awkwardly staring into the middle distance, though. So when Hellfire Guy drops into one of the chairs at the table, it startles him into following suit. Hellfire Guy drops an identical packet to Steve’s on the table.

“You too?” Steve asks.

Hellfire Guy just kind of stares at him with a confused smile. “Why’d you think I was here during our shared class, Harrington?”

Steve flushes. “I didn’t really think before I spoke, to be honest.”

“Well at least you’re honest.” His new tablemate flashes a more genuine grin. “I was out with strep last week. Frankie grabbed my assignments for me, so I just have to make up this stupid test.”

Steve nods, pretending to know who Frankie is, and refusing to wish that he’d had someone willing to grab his assignments while he’d been out. It’s not like he could have done anything about them when he was sleeping two-thirds of the day away.

Steve settles at the table, and as he moves to start writing his name at the top of the page, he realizes that’s the perfect way to figure out Hellfire Guy’s name without seeming like a total jackass. He flicks his eyes across the table to try to catch a glimpse of what the other kid is writing. But Steve’s ability to parse other people’s handwriting is lackluster on a good day. Throwing in the additional obstacles of trying to read something upside down from a foot away and he may as well be trying to read French. He can’t get even a halfway decent look without having to strain himself awkwardly—which he nearly does, forgetting that the whole point of this exercise was to be discreet.

Hellfire Guy looks up to meet Steve’s gaze, and he looks a tad irked. “You trying to cheat off of me, Harrington?”

“No, no, I—” Steve cuts himself off, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t remember your name,” he says. The Steve of a year ago wouldn’t even care about whether or not he knew some nerd’s name. He doesn’t want to be that guy anymore, and yet he’s still right here in the same exact place. Only now he does care, and the fact that he can’t remember the name of a guy who’s sat two rows over from him for the last three and a half months is just embarrassing. “But I didn’t want you to think—” Steve blows out a sharp breath. “It seemed stupid to ask.”

Hellfire Guy blinks. “My name’s Jeff,” he says, without any hint of judgment or annoyance shading his tone. Jeff tilts his head and looks at Steve with an intent sort of squinting look. “Hargrove really did a number on you, huh?”

“Oh.” Steve hadn’t been expecting that response. “Yeah.” He paints a charming smile onto his face. He doesn’t want to talk about this. “We should probably stop talking before Mrs. Miller starts to think we are cheating.”

Jeff opens his mouth as though to say something, but then glances over the front desk. Mrs. Miller is talking to another student, but rather than call Steve out on his obvious deflection he just shrugs and returns to working on his own test. Steve lets out a slow steady exhale of relief and continues working on his own.

It doesn’t take long for the headache that’s been building all day to bloom into something distractingly painful. Even if parts of the test didn’t reference material that he entirely missed while he was out, all of the questions about stuff that he does recognize are about things he’s been struggling to grasp. The multiple choice section was fine—even if he’s not particularly confident he knows the answers to more than three of the questions, at least he can just guess and move on. But he’s thoroughly stuck on the segment of the test where he has to balance equations.

“Are you okay, man?”

Steve jolts in his seat and looks up at Jeff, who’s staring at him with what Steve takes to be genuine concern—as out of place as that should be on a nerdy junior whose name he didn’t know remember less than thirty minutes ago. Beyond that—what was Steve doing that even prompted Jeff to ask? “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“Dude, you’re ripping your hair out, and you sound like a dying lawnmower.”

Steve immediately drops the hand that he didn’t realize had been tugging at his roots from his head, and flushes red. Maybe Billy punched a few holes through his filter while he was doing his best to cave his face in. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. You stuck on something?”

Steve scoffs a bit. “All of it.” He runs a hand through his hair again, but this time to try to reverse some of the damage. “I hate balancing equations.”

Tagging: @eriquin @inairbinad @delta-piscium @steventhusiast @bifuriouswaterbender @xenon-demon @steves-strapcollection @spicysix

#steve harrington #jeff stranger things #bisexual steve harrington #read writes #jeff is steve's bi awakening au

103 notes · View notes

papakhan · 1 year ago

Note

what are ur thoughts on bitter-root

sitting here with my hands clasped together. i have so much thoughts on bitter-root

If you've been following me for a while you'll already know that I'm CONVINCED that Bitter-roots writer only read the brief on the Great Khans and didn't pay any attention to their timeline within the games. Let me break it down for you.

The Bitter Springs Massacre was 3 years before the events of Fallout New Vegas and almost immediately following the 1st Battle of Hoover Dam. That means in 3 years Bitter-Root has gone from "child even the Khans don't consider grown enough to be a raider" to "Sergeant in a top ranking highly specialised and decorated sniper unit" that shit doesn't add up IT DOESNT ADD UP!! He explicitly says he wasn't considered old enough for his Khan initiation--which is the Khans threshold between child and adult--but he Was old enough to join the NCRarmy??? These RAIDERS thought he was too baby to be a raider but the fucking NCR said "yep sign here" HELLO?

okay let's say for argument's sake that he took a year out because he was adopted by Major Dhatri and also First Recon Snipers tend to get picked out from basic training sure sure whatever. That's still 2 years to rise to rank of Sergeant he is LITERALLY THE SECOND HIGHEST RANKED MEMBER?? IN 2 OR 3 YEARS?? okay whatever his adopted dad is pulling strings for him or something I don't know ITS STILL DUMB I'm still having to over-explain to patch up these little holes in his story

I've said it before but everything around the Bitter Springs Massacre is awfulllyyyy written. its all so so bad. Like even with laying out all the facts we do have there's still stuff that doesn't make sense. We don't know why Chance is triggered by fires as a result of Bitter Springs, etc. The thing with Bitter-Root is when he says basically that he killed his parents during the confusion UH WHEN DID HE GET TIME TO DO THAT? While he was running through the Red Pass to evacuate? no he would have been shot. In Bitter Springs itself? With that many witnesses? Even in the confusion, it would have been hard to kill two people without anyone noticing ESPICALLY if he was like firing a gun at them or something PEOPLE WOULD HAVE LOOKED idk it just doesn't make sense to me but that's a whole other thing.

to me as he is in game Bitter Root just kinda feels like the writers feable attempt at writing a "good" khan raider whose fighting for the "good guys"

My version of Bitter-Root would still be like. a child. a teenager someone as a parallel to Jerry the Punk over in the Khans. You can still have him running around Camp McCarren but yknow sticking around his dad and first recon and maybe you can have Dhatri be conflicted about Bitter-Root's dreams to join First Recon because he knows personally how awful Bitter Springs was because he was the one who had to put a stop to it and doesn't want Bitter-Root in the military at All because he doesn't want to see him grow into a heartless killing machine on Either side??? Show Bitter-Root getting blinded by revenge just as badly as Papa and all the other characters in New Vegas who are struggling to Let Go. Hell maybe he could be in the role he's in in game but he ran away from the Khans and his parents way before Bitter Springs and is more like Manny or Boone's age, and idk maybe we could have something about how he Did freeze when asked to fire on his own people or something idk anything

And this isn't me hating on Bitter-Root because I like the Khans and don't want to see anything negative about them. I do like and implement a lot of what Bitter-Root brings to the table, his parents seeming to be very staunchly of the old Khan way while the group itself has moved away makes for some Very interesting politicking within the Khans. Why else would his dad take him off to take potshots at NCR civilians if not because the Khans current government had outlawed it? Papa says outright that killing civilians is cowardly he cant be so blind that he wouldn't apply it to both sides. We also know that their chief law enforcer Regis looks out for women and cares about their independence and I cant see him being in the position of power that he's in if his opinion on women wasn't the majority yknow? So the way Bitter-Roots dad and his friends treated Bitter-roots mom goes against that. All this implies a weird subset of Khans who stick to the old New Khan ways were they teach kids to kill civilians and treat women poorly. Like a said, very interesting politicking and I love fictional politics

#sorry this probably should have been under a read more #ask to tag #txt

41 notes · View notes

semper-legens · 4 months ago

Text

67. Five Nights at Freddy's: Fazbear Frights vol 1

Owned?: No, library Page count: 192 My summary: A boy falls into a ball pit and comes out the other side in 1985. A girl wants to be beautiful and gets help from an unlikely friend. Some kids want the newest toy on the scene, but wind up stealing a defective copy. Three dark tales from the world of Five Nights at Freddy's. My rating: 2/5 My commentary:

Yeah, yeah, I know, laugh away. I found myself with a strange fascination about Five Nights At Freddy's lore not too long ago, culminating in me reading Cawthon's trilogy of FNaF books. But there's another branch of the FNaF lore that I haven't plumbed - Fazbear Frights, a series of short stories loosely connected around Freddy Fazbear's. This is the graphic novel adaptation of the first set of Fazbear Frights, and when it crossed my desk at work, I knew I was going to end up reading it. Hey, it's not like it took all that long. And I wanted to close off the chapter of my life where I inexplicably care about Five Nights at Freddy's by sampling the last of the FNaF lore that I hadn't yet touched. And so, here we are. This comic is split into three stories, and I'm gonna talk about all of them.

The first is the story of Oswald, a kid from a poor family stuck in his hometown over summer. He finds a ballpit in a local diner that transports him back to Freddy's in 1985, but when he does he finds himself face to face with Springtrap, who follows him back to the present. Which is…a very silly premise, but I'm willing to forgive the time-travelling ballpit. Yeah, it's ridiculous, but the 'innocuous object that takes you back in time' trope is a horror staple. I'm less willing to forgive the utter failure of this story to be horror, however. Oswald ends up going back to what I assume is the child murders, but the sequence of events as seen here is that he goes back to a Freddy's that is in chaos, Springtrap leads him into a back room, and we see six kids…just kinda sitting on chairs, a little slumped over, from the back. The implication is that they're the murder victims, but we don't see anything, they're just kind of there. No blood, nothing. And when Springtrap follows Oswald back to reality and takes his dad's place, he just…doesn't do anything. Literally. He's just there. It isn't creepy, it isn't scary, it's just baffling. There's hardly any tension because there's no threat, at least not as presented by this book. Baffling choices.

Then there's Sarah's tale. She's a teen or preteen girl who thinks she's ugly and wants to be beautiful. When she finds Circus Baby, she asks that Baby make her beautiful and, for a time, gets her wish. I…dislike how the one story about a girl is a moral lesson about Vanity Bad, but even aside from that, this just isn't a particularly well-realised story. Like, Sarah is given a necklace by Baby that she is told to never take off ever, so of course late in the story she trips and the necklace breaks. At least, I assume that is what happens. The art never actually shows that happening at any point? Sarah trips over, then starts transforming because surprise surprise she's a robot now. The necklace being off should have been shown explicitly, but it's just mentioned in dialogue, not drawn attention to in the art. Aside from that, Sarah was just so unlikeable that I struggled to care at all about this story. She makes fun of her friend for not being beauty-obsessed, and wants to get with the mean popular girls…just because they're popular, I guess? It was like a high school girl cliché as written by someone who has only ever experienced high school via bad movies. Bleh.

Finally, Oscar and his friends want to get their hands on a new toy - Plushtrap, a mechanical doll that plays a game with its owner. But when they steal one from a mysterious store, they find that Plushtrap is more alive than they thought. This one was possibly the most competent of the three, in that it actually was a horror story, but it was largely clichéd and not very interesting in and of itself. A killer toy, a little shop that wasn't there yesterday, a kid struggling with some emotional problems that are never really explored to any satisfactory level…the art was creepy enough in itself, but I had the same problem with it that I had with all of the art in this book, that it was kind of smudgy and not particularly representational of any one thing. Characters looked too similar to one another and I struggled to discern them. Plushtrap, too, fell into the trap (heh) of looking too overly creepy from the start and not being believable as a toy that a child would genuinely want to own, as opposed to a horror vehicle. Also, what teen boys really want a doll? It was just…bland, overall.

Next, back to April May, and her friends attempting to solve just what happened to her.

#Five Nights at Freddy's #Fazbear Frights #bookblr #book blog #book blogger #2

4 notes · View notes

legoarsonist · 1 year ago

Text

yooo hey hi how's it going, so I have a pretty extensive theory about bunny call that i'd like to share, people have forgotten about this short story specifically, and it didn't seem to have much speculation around it when it did release. Which is odd, I've noticed that every story in fazbear's frights has at least one notable lore detail in the story for theorists. Even the story about sea monkeys that look like rabbits (sea bonnies) explains the logic that the fnaf universe runs on, that being "no bad deed goes unpunished".

This is going to sound strange, but I think that bunny call describes what happened to the books world michael, and gives details on the afton family as a whole.

I'm putting my thought process, speculation details and evidence under a keep reading thing, as i've written out a LOT and don't want to clog people's feed up that much, esp since it's old lore from 2020.

So, for starters, I guess I'll talk about how phillip is described in bunny call. The book states that "He had a thick head of light colored hair, and he had what might be blue eyes." This is a fairly specific way to describe him, and while it may not match up with michael's rendition in fnaf 4 as foxybro, it matches up closely with his sprite in SL, along with michael's eye color in fnaf 1's game over screen. The only thing that can dispute the similarities is the graphic novel, which shows phillip with grey hair, but even then that can be explained away as michael being old by that point in the timeline, along with differing interpretations from the colorist, the source material, and artist. After all, jessica in the charlie trilogy graphic novels is blonde, when each of the books described her having brown hair.

In bunny call, Phillip also talks about his family. To take quotes from the book itself, "My mom died when I was five." "I hardly remember her, but I remember how my dad was before she died. He was a great dad. Taught me how to throw a ball, always showed me what he was working on when he fixed stuff, read me stories at night. But then after mom died, my dad…" "My dad got lost. He just got lost. He couldn’t do anything for me anymore. He was all about himself. He turned into a horrid dad.” “I’ve become just like him.”

There is a LOT of correlation between Michael's family and Phillip's. In the games, we never actually see or hear about Mrs. Afton, for one. there are theories about her being the spirit that possessed ballora, sure. But there is nothing solid currently about her with actual lore relevancy. It would make sense if she died prior to 1983. Maybe even in childbirth.

And then of course, there's phillip's description of his dad. In many ways, phillip's dad sounds VERY similar to william afton. They both have a wife that's been out of the picture, and they're both described as horrid parents. Plus, phillip's father is explicitly stated to have some mechanical knowledge, showing him what he's working on and fixing "stuff". It may not be an explicit connection to robots and machinery, but it shows that he may have knowledge in a similar area.

That line of "I’ve become just like him." Is interesting to me, too. It could be something about how Phillip's become a bad parent, but I feel like there's something more with it considering both the story phillip's in and the differences of the books world canon to mainline.

Consider ralpho's design, it is a smiling rabbit suit that has a vest, a bowtie, and a large grin. Along with these features, their hands are more glove-like, with five fingers on each hand. Though, the hands are only shown on the graphic novel's cover. In the original story, they're moreso described as paws. I find it interesting that they'd give a character many of these specific features, considering that we've seen them on an incarnation of afton (or at least what's supposed to look like afton) previously, specifically on glitchtrap. They're both rabbits that wear vests with bowties, and they both have glove-like hands.

the line of "I’ve become just like him." takes up a more twisted meaning when you consider the thought that phillip could be a person wearing the ralpho suit. After all, the main character of the book (bob) told him that he had indeed signed up for the bunny call. Phillip asked him, "You sign up for the bunny call too?" and bob replied simply with a "Yeah". He would've known, and had an opportunity to go get the suit after bob left.

To be bold, it would even make sense if phillip was a cover name in the same way that william went under the name of dave miller. After all, what afton did is well known in the books universe, if a member of the afton family wanted to distance himself further from the killer's name, why not go for a name change? Mike even does so in the books, going under the schmidt name.

This is more speculation and elaboration, but the "death in childbirth" explanation for Mrs. Afton would provide a decent reason for a child (such as michael afton) to lash out at his younger brother. Because of CC's birth, he lost his mother AND his father's love. That would be enough of a motive for somebody to resent a little brother, especially if they unintentionally destroyed the afton family.

to add on one last thing for the Mrs.Afton tie-ins and speculations, the death in childbirth explanation also explains why elizabeth afton's sprite is so different to the other members of the afton family like mike and CC. She simply had a different mother and inherited different genes.

It's more of a funny point to tie in, but there is also the matter of what Phillip's doing when he does encounter bob. He's smoking cigarettes, menthol cigarettes specifically. "Bob listened to a man suck in smoke and then expel it. The smell of menthol made bob’s nostrils twitch."

The choice of menthol cigarettes specifically interests me, menthol is the thing that makes stuff minty, and while it is a common cigarette choice, it's different from the usual description of the smell of tobacco. While this could be considered a bit of a stretch, it brings to mind michael's bad habit from the logbooks of "chewing gum excessively." Nicotine gum is a fairly common aid to help smokers quit, and is of course also often flavored with menthol, if michael tried to quit smoking, it'd then make sense if he picked up the bad habit of excessively chewing mint gum.

#five nights at freddy's #fazbear frights #bunny call #ralpho the rabbit #fnaf #fnaf books #idk what else to tag uhh #fnaf theory #michael afton #also the felix the shark book isn't canon. I know somebody's gonna bring it up but they're literally extra stories that didn't make the cut #their canon relevance is so debatable that it's goofy

14 notes · View notes

extasiswings · 2 years ago

Note

I've been managing my expectations but I have to say I'm really excited for 6B. Most of the characters are facing serious tension. Subtext and themes have been consistent (couches and chairs, donor vs. dad). And now, because of Eddie's loud-and-clear evasion of the donor topic, we know that things between him and Buck have to come to a head. It's looking good! The fandom negativity is wildly out of proportion IMO.

I completely agree. The thing is, I am an impatient bitch and I definitely get frustrated when I feel like things aren't moving fast enough or going exactly how I want, but I also recognize that is a personal problem about me and doesn't necessarily translate to a valid criticism of the show. I do have some minor gripes with some of the pacing choices this season (mainly re: the sperm donor arc), but even with that I can understand why they might have done certain things the way they have.

With that arc in particular, it's a process that in itself takes time--weeks to do all the screenings and whatnot to get to the point of donation, weeks to do fertilization and implantation, still more weeks to find out if the process has taken and there's a viable pregnancy in process, so that's months of time right there without even getting to the actual 9-months of pregnancy. So in that sense, the on-again-off-again nature of how the storyline is playing out isn't that strange, it's just that audiences have gotten used to (especially in the era of bingewatching), focusing on one arc at a time/expecting that as soon as something is introduced it will be consistently emphasized until resolved. Could they have written it differently and had Buck not go through with it for one reason or another and proceeded from there? Sure. But that would have been a totally different story (and not necessarily better, we have no way of saying that one way or another, but different)--they are explicitly using this arc as part of Buck's journey of self-discovery, and a major piece of that is the level of regret and pain he's going to experience because he jumped into doing this selfless thing without thinking about the consequences (even though he was warned), an impulsive character trait that ties back to his root trauma of Daniel (which he hasn't dealt with). They've basically said outright that's what they're doing, and also that part of the reason to do a self-discovery arc for Buck is that because he doesn't know himself/what he wants generally, he can't see who he wants to be in a relationship with which...hello???

And as you said, the themes have been consistent. The season opened very explicitly with the idea of not knowing what you want/not being able to see what you already have/not allowing yourself to want certain things because you don't think they're attainable (and/or because you're afraid to want them). It's all one big play on fantasy vs. reality and what that looks like for different people/in different situations. And we've watched those themes play out character-by-character.

Maddie and Chim got back together and have been rebuilding their life together, learning what it looks like to be a family again, and their 6A arc on that front closed with them finding their dream house.

Athena and Bobby have dealt with it on a lesser scale, with the Florida trip and investigation. The idea of putting people on pedestals, and therefore not being able to see them for who they are, not being able to recognize reality. And we're going to get into it more with Bobby it seems like due to this whole situation with his sponsor.

Hen was struggling with med school vs. being a firefighter and paramedic. She thought she wanted to be a doctor in part because she didn't think it was possible to progress further in her career with the LAFD until she was actually given the chance to be interim captain. And when she was put in a position where she finally had to choose, she chose the LAFD because she could have it all and because her family was her real dream. Now, she's heading into a related arc with Denny that ties directly into Buck's (and Eddie's). Denny's the one now looking outside of what he already has, thinking he needs something more (a dad) while Buck is going to be struggling with being overly invested in the sperm donor situation because he didn't get it through his head that being a donor does NOT make him a dad and Eddie/Christopher/the will of it all is very loud.

I don't need to repeat all of the ways Buck's arc fits this theme, but he is the most explicit about actively not being able to see what's right in front of him/what he already has (that he has a partner in Eddie, that he's a father to Christopher, that they're a family, etc etc etc).

Eddie's arc is still in-progress. But his arc has also focused on these ideas of not talking about or acknowledging certain things (including things you want) because they're scary and/or because you think they're unattainable (especially if they're supposedly unattainable because of "difference" in some capacity--for Hen at the LAFD it was her race/gender/sexuality, for Christopher it was his disability, for Eddie...I mean come on, there's one answer here...). We've seen him do the things that he thinks are "expected" of him, try to fit the fantasy mold of a heteronormative nuclear family, and fail fantastically (fantasy not living up to reality). And we've seen him on his own journey of self-discovery, becoming his own person separate from Christopher, while the question of what following his heart really means remains open (and is going to be a focus of 6B as they return explicitly to him and Romance).

Idk, I've been enjoying this season a lot and I'm excited about 6B and I've been surprised by the amount of negativity as well. In S5, it felt like everyone was complaining that it was too dark, and when this season started people were happy that it was a return to more lightness. But now, that seems to have shifted as well and I see that being turned into a criticism that the writers aren't taking certain things seriously enough or giving them the weight they're due. I don't feel like the pacing is any worse than other seasons, I don't think the arcs are any more frustrating (like...I cannot emphasize enough how much I hate the lawsuit arc and street fighting arc and Maddie's stalker era, I really can't, and as important as the tsunami arc is overall for the show I felt like it was largely disconnected from the specific arcs of the season for most characters, but I don't claim that S3 is badly written just because I personally dislike certain dramatic choices that were made), and I don't think the introduction of new arcs or set-ups for continuations of established arcs in this episode was any different from any other midseason finale.

As with any kind of longform storytelling though, everything looks different in hindsight once you get the whole picture. I've made my peace with the fact that the writers have a plan that I can't see all of yet, but I trust them to create something that will answer the questions we have and deal with the things that we have complaints about if we just give them time/watch the rest of the season. We have 9 more episodes, there's a lot of exciting potential, and frankly, when I look back over the full seasons after seeing how all the arcs have played out, the writers have never truly let me down. I don't expect that to be any different this season. We just need to be patient and let them tell the story.

...this got really long, but anyway...tldr; they've been very consistent with subtext (and text) and themes and I don't think there's any real reason not to expect that to continue and I'm looking forward to 6B!

#chapel talks #anonymous #ask

53 notes · View notes

variousqueerthings · 10 months ago

Text

Rating Jodie Whittaker first season episodes, best to worse? yeah best to worse. subjective, of course:

1- Demons Of The Punjab

Clear winner for me, beautifully written and shot, with the science fiction element really interacting with the plot. I have some things I wish for this episode -- I wish it was even more explicit how much this situation came out of British colonialism, I wish Yaz had wanted to know about the origins of the watch even though she was there, because I kind of felt like it was for her grandmother more than for her (I would looove to pick the brains of the writer and actress), I wish the science fiction element had tied just a tad more explicitly to the plot, but to be honest considering how hamfisted and sometimes fully off-base the politics has been this era, especially in the next season but in this one occasionally too (THE SYSTEM ISN'T THE PROBLEM!) I am happy to take simple witnessing. But it's a great episode, it comes together well, it's... a rare... episode... about Yaz

2- The Woman Who Fell To Earth

I think this is a great introduction to Thirteen as a mad professor type Doctor. Simple. My favourite Doctor intros are the RTD and RTD2 eras (Nine, Ten, Fifteen), but I think Thirteen is fantastic in this, and it does introduce the companions well -- my one thing I'd change, probably grows gradually as I go through the era, and it's simply that I like Grace as a character more than Graham, and I did not like how she died, and especially not how throughout her death seems to be centred more on Graham than on Ryan

3- It Takes You Away

Frog. Frog. Frog. Also Scandinavian softcore horror for the intro. I mean generally this episode is just a fascinating little ride. So many twists and turns for something that's also so contained. And FROG! -- I do think this episode faltered just a tad on exploring why the dad stayed there, I mean, grief yes, but he's only in this one episode and so you're left with this guy who abandoned his daughter and played spooky noises to keep her inside a hut, while he lived it up in his fake reality with his fake wife, and initially I thought there was a bit of alien hypno or something involved, but no. Just a mess of a father, and then we move on. And also again, Grace only interacts with Graham and not with Ryan. BUT LISTEN! FROG! UNIVERSE FROG!

4- Rosa

Rosa is suuuuch a tricky episode to pull off and I think it being made at all is such major props. It's one of the (if not the) episodes where I genuinely have felt so much real-life fear for one of the companions, and it not shying away from that while attempting to balance it for kids, and having it educate people on Rosa Parks and that history, and Rosa is a fantastically written character as well. it's something I think really is indicative of consciously thinking about who matters in history/for the history episodes than dead white British guys. I rate it further down (although not far down) because I don't know if it was able to nail the ending properly. there was a fatalistic element to the idea of them having to stay seated so that Rosa could protest, and structurally I have questions about the villain, who is very thinly written, and the build throughout the episode being kind of anti-climactic to me. It's kind of pivoting around Rosa as the really interesting part of the episode and I'm glad that she is what works for me, but I don't think it works as an episode of science fiction, nor am I sure about what the ending in the bus is meant to tell us. it also features the first of the "feels like it's spoken directly to the camera" type speeches at the end, which we see more of in the next season.

5- The Ghost Monument

I mean, the ending where the Doctor speaks to the Tardis is it for me. I've heard some people don't like this episode, I think it's solid. it does suffer from Chibnall era sl-o-o-o-o-w pacing at times, which is a thing I've been finding more and more throughout and having checked which episodes feel like major offenders to me, they are ones that tend to be written by him. did just look back at previous seasons episodes by him, and actually he didn't do that many, but some of them are similar in structure, but perhaps not so noticeable when couched in other writers/showrunners. there was some mistake made in the ending of this episode when the companions finally see the Tardis and either the writing or directing decided that they needed to react to this with an understated "wow." Be big! this show is Big!

actually I wonder if that's at the core of some of the things I don't vibe with with Chibs (that and the trying to appease everyone appeases no one and the centre politics with some serious missteps), but structurally I don't think he quite accepts the Doctor Who-ness of it and sometimes tries too hard to turn it into Serious Scifi. sometimes I like that, and often DW is serious, but it's also silly and Camp. it's soul is Camp and Chibnall in his era is not (this the man who wrote Power Of Three, sir!)

but I'm ok with this episode not being so camp. it's serviceable, it gives us back the Tardis and she is Be-a-utiful and gives me one of my favourite little moments between the Doctor and the Tardis

(oh the other thing is Chibnall in his own era has Important Backstory come in oddly artificially and off to the side of the plot/doesn't smoosh the two together well enough. does that in a fair few of these, not just this one)

6- The Witchfinders

I enjoy this one. Alan Cumming plays James I as suitably gay and unhinged with an evil bent to it, there's some wild tree alien zombie witch action, the Doctor namedrops Houdini, I just quite enjoy it -- also it goes more off the rails than I feel like this era allows itself. This is "bad" but it's of the enjoyable kind in my opinion. I may actually in my soul put it one higher/switch it with Ghost Monument, but I'm too lazy to

7- The Tsuranga Conundrum

I like the lil alien in this. I think it suffers froooom... Pacing issues again! And it's another Chibnall written episode! I think I do enjoy the male pregnancy, I mean, I know several men and nbs who've been pregnant so I'm coming at it differently than I'm sure a large swathe of the UK audience, but it (from memory) didn't do any weird "now a man can know what this feels like" type commentary, it's just a planet where men give birth to men, and women give birth to women (sidenote on that, I read this as a Tardis mistranslation or a "close enough" type translation -- so it's just that one part of the species gives birth to one part of the species, and another to another, and Ryan and Graham and Yaz read that as Man and Woman so that's how the translation does it, cos they're not up on the queer lingo... makesya wonder about how dimorphism and potential intersex and trans ideas look on that planet too)

but yeah, a lot of this episode drags for me. I don't not enjoy it, but I think it comes at a point in the season where you wanted something a bit more adrenaline-filled. After the first episode we had the quiet Rosa, then the somewhat messy and also downstated Arachnids of the UK and then I felt kind of owed a big space to-do, which it did seem to start as, but then tapered out a bit. that being said I like a lot of the space ideas (neurological spaceship piloting!!!) and yeah. I don't dislike it

8- Arachnids Of The UK

ARACHNIDS IN THE UK THEY JUST LOCKED YOU IN A ROOM AND WAITED FOR YOU TO DIE I GUESS!!!!??? I think this is the... not the first episode, I think Rosa was the first for me, where it felt like the Doctor sometimes just doesn't act. As if the resolution is "things happen the way they happen and all we can do is hang about I guess"

which is a bit of a Chibs Politics issue and of course most obvious in our bottom rung, but yeah. Not so much of a fan of centrist Doctor, I need me some of that anarchic energy of the past!

we do meet Yaz's mum (hi Yaz's mum!) who asks if Yaz and the Doctor are dating and the Doctor is like... "is that what this is? if you say so" which is kind of hilarious, and Ryan's grime playlist. but overall a bit of a miss

9- Resolution

this was the first episode I hadn't seen before, and it featured one of my faves in the single episode lead and she was great. Unfortunately it felt to me like a rehashed Dalek plot that we've seen done better several times before

we did get Ryan's dad, which I appreciated, because I was under the impression we'd never get to see any of that. I like that he saw the Tardis and decided not to come, but is happy to see his son is cared for, and also that it's a complicated relationship that's being fixed. and I just grab at all the Ryan plot I possibly can!

10- The Battle Of Ranskoor Av Kolos

IIIIIIIIII thought this episode was boring (aahhhh sorry). which feels so damning in such a terrible way, almost worse than things I've said about M*ffat but maybe I should've said more of his episodes were boring, because many of them were, but they were like. maximalist boring, because he thought if he just blasted you full of enough images you'd not pay attention to whether or not there was any plot or character development, whereas this episode to me just... drags

I like the duo alien species, I think they're very cool. I don't think Tim Shaw was compelling enough to come back as a finale villain, I feel like they banked wrongly on that and that's why this episode suffers (well, that and the pacing)

it also shows a bit to me that there's a struggle in this era to do long-form character development at times. A lot of things get brought up in one episode and immediately dealt with within that episode through just... deciding to deal with it. sometimes this isn't the case (Ryan's dad was set up in episode 1 so we could sit with that for a bit, and he featured a lot in the episode he was in, Grace's memory has appeared several times throughout the season in some form or other) but Graham going "I'm gonna shoot this guy -- no never mind I thought it through and I won't" is a bit weak

there's also not a whole lot of this finale that deals with any of the companions or the Doctor in any deep way, they don't reaaally change or grow in a way that makes you go "ah yes, I see where you've come from and potentially where we're setting you up to go next." To be honest this was also a problem with M*ffat, specifically with Clara, who was three different characters depending on season, but in this one again it's not a mad forgetfulness of his own lore that's making Chibnall do this, it's just kind of static

11- Kerblam

aaaaand Kerblam. Honestly. opening salvo of this? Great. and then. it loses the fucking plot. and calls space Amazon alright actually. and just... I mean all of it's a mess. Capitalism Propaganda, from the characters to the resolution. make you blink a few times and worry perhaps that despite episodes like Demons of the Punjab and Rosa that ol' Chibs (who to be fair didn't write this one, but would have had final say on it and potentially commissioned the idea) is not the guy to be writing Progressive Doctor Who... maybe... who knows...

#im watching nu!who #im watching whittaker who #the measurement #the measurement series eleven

4 notes · View notes

casadefreewill · 2 years ago

Note

I got curious about you miraculous au dump what it is about?

(I had to read through the whole doc to remind myself what this was about)

So it's basically a melting pot of all my favorite AU's/tropes? set in early season 1.

Kind of a summary of the document notes:

Marinette and Adrien are friendly but not friends. Marinette is crushing bad and Adrien just wants to talk to his really cool classmate who is just somehow never around outside of class (she is strategically avoiding him)

Adrien is kind of still explicitly bad at doing human interaction and Marinette has an (note says possibly undiagnosed) anxiety disorder.

There are miraculous side effects:

miraculous: tendencies bleed, it is based on time transformed, how well the user meshes with the Kwami, and how connected the user feels to the new persona.

Can cause physical changes to the user over a long time (timeframe also based on above criteria)

This is also a Chat is avoiding home au/teetering towards runaway chat au. In the effort of avoiding home he explores the city as Chat and would you guess, comes across a sick balcony with some cool plants (damn Mari those LB side effects and ladybug attracting plants are doing wonders for your garden). In considering taking a flower to LB he meets elusive classmate Marinette Dupain-Cheng up there! and would you look at that she's actually staying to talk with him! with the combination of really wanting to be her friend and having such a hard time interacting with her as Adrien he winds up seeking her out more and more as Chat.

mope to each other about love life unless they are feeling particularly bad about it.

Take walks to unwind sometimes

Chat and have fun together when they both have the time

Homework together if they both know schoolwork is piling up.

Adrien continues to try to get close to Marinette as a civilian but she’s still a mess around him. He has no idea why he freaks her out, at first he thought she was just shy but then he saw how she was with others and realized it must just be him. Did he make her nervous because of his friendship with Chloé?

The thing that pushes Adrien finally to run is not actually things getting bad at home (though they are but Adrien doesn't totally see it) is the physical miraculous changes taking effect and becoming increasingly impossible to hide as a civilian. And the one thing Adrien being sure of is him not wanting to give up Plagg or Chat Noir.

He ends up crashing on roofs and in a hideout/clubhouse/meeting place he and Ladybug build to brainstorm ways to get rid of HM.

Ladybug and Chat are god damn ride or die best buds in this, the marichat visits just add fuel to this. Ladybug is solidly his first real friend, his dad held out on school for about a month or two after stone heart until Gabriel was able to experience and see Nathalie's argument that having Adrien at home during the day is just becoming too much of a risk. (this also puts even more of a distance between Adrien and the rest of the class)

There wasn't really a solid story in this one, just kind of "stuff that happens"

all the "AU's"/tropes I had in the doc

Miraculous side effects (body horror)

Modified Adrien doesn't go to school (he does but its late and weird and he's pretty excluded)

Marichat hang outs

Runaway Adrien

Superhero hideout

knowing me there probably would have been sentiadrien too but I don't have it written in there.

This is kind of ramble-y and a mess but I'm falling asleep and the google doc is kind of a mess

#WIP game #ml #miraculous ladybug

13 notes · View notes

chicleeblair · 1 year ago

Text

Dawn of Redeeming Grace [4/23]

Title: Chapter Four: December 23, 2005 || FFN

Rating: NC-17/Explicit

Pairings: Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd

Six weeks after Derek left to take the NIH job, Meredith is ready to use the holidays to prove she has this working mom thing on lock. Sure, he neglected to tell her he'd be bringing a guest, but whatever, 'Tis the season for truces. Even Ellis Grey took the day off. But with every moment of family togetherness, a return to the trenches seems more impossible. Can a few days of peace put their relationship back on track, or has she fallen for the illusion of a snow-globe, destined to either settle or shatter?

Dawn of Redeeming Grace|| FFN

New York Derek. Genetically-engineered for Manhattan, maybe, but it’s not all about genetics. The show never goes into it explicitly, but I think it’s very important that Derek went to Bowdoin for college. At eighteen, he wanted out. I think he came back because of Amelia, and between Mark and Addison, found his life shaped into this Upper East Side, house in the Hamptons lifestyle that he didn’t actually like. The guy with that life isn’t even the one Addison fell for, judging by things like the Chinese food on Thanksgiving. She might’ve felt as out-of-place in the world they would’ve been in if he’d had the self-awareness, or felt allowed to make the choices that would’ve taken them toward a life more like the one her and Meredith get—but it wouldn’t have been as extreme as the trailer.

I go back and forth as to Derek’s desire to have kids, and knowing what happened with Amelia makes a lot of sense in that regard. I know people who were really responsible for their siblings and feel like they had their kids. That said, his dad is his hero, and nothing in his life looks at all like his dad’s life. Kids would change that—but he’s best friends with a guy who had well-off parents who likely had their kid for the wrong reason. He wouldn’t want to do that.

At the beginning, I think a lot of the appeal of his relationship with Meredith is the fresh start. That’s a huge part of their s3/s4 issues. This guy, who clearly adores his family, wants to leave all the past in the past. He can’t do that. After he has to necessitate Meredith, he’s sitting there with Addison and Mark at his sides—exactly like he would’ve been when Amelia OD’d. It’s not a coincidence to me that his mom showing up is part of the arc before his s5 breakdown. But his assertions about his family, about “normal” families, are also pretty rose-colored. Amelia’s arrival on the show is after he’s been offered the D.C. job, but their interactions; that he reminds her of the person he used to want to be—I think that has a lot to do with why he can’t let it go. Also, we’re not two full years out from Mark dying. It’s still one of the longest periods he’s gone through without him.

If anything feels like foreshadowing or a dark joke in this chapter, it is. This whole fic is about how the past affects you, particularly on holidays where tradition rules, this is the chapter with the most allusions to A Christmas Carol. Derek throughout the end of his time in New York is a very Scroogian figure if you ask me—I really should’ve Amed one of my Shepherd kids Fred.

For reference, here is my Shepherd family headcanon.

Kathleen + Reid (2nd husband)

Allegra (’87 stepdaughter)

McKenzie (’89 stepdaughter)

Stephanie (’93)

Oliver (’99) or Lucas (’96)

Nancy + Peter

Carly (’90)

Elena (’92)

Shepherd (’94, nicknamed Squared)

Hunter (’95)

Tyson (or Lucas, ’96)

Liz + Ian

Briana (’93)

Frances, Maria, Patrick (or Lucas)* (’96)

Hannah (’00)

*I’d have to reconfigure for Lucas to be Liz’s, I think, because I don’t see him as a triplet. I think he’s Kathleen’s, since he’s Derek’s favorite and Meredith liked her kids, but if he’s not I like having the gap between her youngest wider because of how I’ve written Stevie.

4 notes · View notes

burritosandpeppermint · 2 years ago

Text

So I decided to finally watch 'Willow' the series (I'm generally more into sci fi but everyone here who's been watching it seems to appreciate it and I generally trust y'all) but first I watched 'Willow' the movie which I have no recollection of having watched since I saw it in the theater with my dad when it first came out.

First, a dorky little review of the movie:

I don't' want to spend too much time on this partly because I know people have a nostalgia boner for it whereas I simply do not care about it. Like, I'm sorry, but I don't. Upon rewatching it I remembered some scenes being so disturbing or frightening they elicited a verbal response from me - when Raziel was being changed from a common bush possum into a raven, or the trolls looking like creeping shadows, or when the troll gets turned into that two headed thing - but besides the above and, honestly, the attractiveness of practically everyone involved it just didn't stick with me. High fantasy can require a high buy-in and if it's a one-off movie I just don't return to it often, or at all. That being said, it's not bad! I mean, the fighting sequences feel clunky, the acting is hit or miss (I want to say that Val Kilmer was given some direction that might've run against his instincts from time to time)(but he's still good and fun to watch), and it is literally a movie on the cusp between older special effects and the new CGI movement, so a mixed bag there, but it's also fun! The shield toboggan was thrilling! The cinematography is right where you want it to be! Dogs in costume! (I remember my dad laughing about that; I did the same when I watched it yesterday). So, it's fine. Not a childhood favorite but definitely a 1988 Ron Howard movie...probably a little too much George Lucas in it, but still. You do what you can with what you have.

Now, the series: I love it! There are so many layers.

The prince is a flirt who's kidnapped and the princess has to go rescue him.

Actual queer people portraying queer characters.

Every character is on their own journey, even as they're on the same collective journey, and moving from one to the other from scene to scene feels seamless.

People have conflict and regrets, and that's okay. It sucks to be tortured by your past but what matters is how you move forward.

It's fucking gorgeous.

There's probably more but the reason I'm writing this is because I can NOT stand...the music.

You thought I was going to say dialogue, weren't you? Well, guess what. After five minutes in I realized that the dialogue was modern in nature. I kept noticing it for about another five minutes and then I just stopped noticing it. It's fine. It's a series that's trying to tell a high fantasy story to a modern audience; what matters is what happens, not explicitly how they talk. And this may be a bit crude but if using modern ways of speaking takes you out of a fantasy show and you're missing something written by a literal philologist who created his own languages then go jack off into 'The Silmarillion' and leave us alone (and order a new copy, for god's sake; that thing's getting too crusty).

...but the end music. THAT takes me out of it. Every time. The end of the third episode? Fucking 'Enter Sandman?' No. I'm very emotionally open to what's been happening, receptive to all, and at the climax to the episode I'm immediately jolted into seeing that big rig hit that bed. What? Why? Maybe it's just me but it breaks the entire idea of escapism. So, maybe...you know what? I was going to try to find a similar way to end this paragraph as I did the previous one but I'm just gonna end with this period.

My only other minor gripes are similar to most other modern productions: the scene at the end of episode three was...fighting? Hard to say, it's fucking dark as hell. Yes, I get it, it's night, but also guess what? We can imply night without making it super dark; hell, 'Nope' did night wonderfully (albeit with newer "daytime as nighttime" technology than what's been used before). The other one is with dialogue volume...but more specifically with regards to the fact that most actors now wear lavalier microphones which allows fore more natural speech to come through, so actors can speak more quietly or mumble and it gets picked up. And boy, do they mumble! Maybe it's a generational thing; I feel like the younger actors are more comfortable speaking towards the back of their throats whereas the more experienced actors tend to speak towards their lips and teeth. Literally a difference in elocution. Maybe mumble/whisper core is better for some, but to return slightly to a "Why are they talking that way?" point of view it does take me out of what I'm watching if I have to constantly rewind it before giving up and putting on closed captions.

Otherwise, I love it, and I can't wait to continue it.

#willow #series #can you tell I finally got some good sleep?#OPINIONS OPINIONS OPINIONS #spoilers

8 notes · View notes

asakiyumemishiii · 1 year ago

Text

!!!WARNING!!! - TLOU spoilers 4 both part 1 n 2 - i also get a bit NSFW when i talk about Joel at times (MINORS DNI THOSE 2 PARA!! THERE’S A WARNING WHEN I START <3) - nothing i'm saying is new. i have no original thoughts!! literally just a post about everything i felt while watching the game ~(>_<。)

the whole reason i got in2 TLOU was ‘cus that one, 'Remember, when you're lost in the darkness, look for the light,' audio on TikTok was trending n everyone was like, 'omg TLOU audio!!' n i was like ??? what is TLOU ??? n then it just all went downhill from there. TLOU has consumed my life in its entirety since the start of July. what a cute coincidence that i get in2 TLOU on the game’s 10th anniversary ヾ(≧▽≦*)o anyway TLOU talk time :3333

DISCLAIMER: i didn't play the game myself ‘cus i don't have any type of console (n i don't play video games) so i watched MKIcenFire's gameplay of the TLOU Remake on PS5 n it was like 12 hours long i think n i watched it twice. then i watched the HBO show, then i watched the same guy play TLOU2. okay anyway i know the game well enough (I HOPE!! I THINK!!) also i read Reddit posts about the game's ending in p2 ‘cus i think other people’s take on it is soooo fun 2 read. if anything i say here is straight up just the wrong take like just ‘cus i'm stupid or missed the point of something, do NOT tell me ‘cus i will start crying immediately but tbh i will probably also not care sorry.

okay so,,,the whole game??? is a masterpiece??? plot-wise n visuals n MUSIC n characters???????????? EVERYTHING IS SO WELL WRITTEN ARGDHFHSHS i loved it. i'm not a gamer btw like the only 'games' i play are Taiko no Tatsujin (PC) n i watched people play undertale but that's it i guess so i don’t have anything 2 compare TLOU 2 but omg it's so good 2 me just as it is AHHHHH.

i'm so bad at being coherent. <///3

anyway everything i'm about 2 say is not going 2 be anything that hasn't already been said but i need an OUTLET!!! i think the game is so fun n maybe it's my own insane raging daddy issues but watching the Ellie (cargo) 2 Ellie (babygirl) pipeline was SO healing 2 me (n also absolutely devastating) like HOLY SHIT HE'S JUST A FATHER 4 READ!1!1!

okay gonna talk right now about how i feel about Joel n Abby ‘cus i have the most opinions about them `(*>﹏<*)′

i know TLOU1 is like Moral Dilemma the game but like i just think it's so simple really. Joel did what he did ‘cus Ellie became someone he really cares about. IMO he never really stopped being a father so Ellie just becomes his youngest daughter n a father's love knows no bounds, doesn't it? he quite literally did everything in his power 2 make sure no one would hurt his own n i think that's so... insane,,, (i wish dads were real)

i don't understand people who hate on Joel like actually *hate* him with their whole life. if they hate him ‘cus of what he used 2 do (being a hunter, etc…) then like,, that's stupid ‘cus he had 2 do what he had 2 do 2 survive. n maybe at the time that was the only way he knew how 2. he's a bad guy ‘cus he did bad guy things (like henry said) but that doesn't necessarily mean he's not a good guy or that he can't redeem himself i don’t know it just seems weird 2 not like him ‘cus of what he used 2 do that we didn't even explicitly see, n was only stated. also i get that people hate him ‘cus of what he did ‘cus like, yeah, i get it, he DID take away Ellie's right 2 'save' the world n he took her out of there without her consent BUT she's also a minor (yes i know laws don't matter but you know,, it's the principle of it i don’t know) n he decided 2 make the choice 4 her ‘cus she obviously couldn't do it herself n i think it was the right choice. also the fireflies didn't give her an option either like damn they couldn't at least ask her if she wanted 2 like say goodbye 2 Joel i don’t know like yeah ik in p2 she said she would have wanted 2 die 4 the cure but like she wasn't even told that making it would entail her dying ‘cus she explicitly stated that she wants 2 follow Joel after everything was over, so like,, yeah Joel took her choice away 2 save her life but the fireflies were going 2 force her 2 die 4 a cure that they themselves weren't even 100% sure would work. n 4 what??? she's the only immune person alive as far as they know n they won't even do SOME kind of tests first ON ELLIE 2 find shit out like i don’t know it seems kinda pointless 2 just kill her like that just 4 a chance of a vaccine. i know Dr Anderson did SOME testing b4 n a lot of research like we can see all the scans when he was talking 2 Marlene in p2 but did he do any testing on Ellie herself? i don’t know. ik all this what-ifs don't even matter n i'm just trying 2 justify Joel's actions but it's the thoughts i have hhhh like let's say the vaccine does get made... who is going 2 ensure that everyone gets a fair chance 2 have it? you're telling me FEDRA or the fireflies are gonna distribute it or something like that?? like it's not possible. also how would they get the vaccine 2 everyone in the world?? n like you think the raiders or hunters are gonna care that they're vaccinated n suddenly be good again? they're just gonna be better at murdering n like also what about all the infected. there's way 2 many of them. sure with a vaccine, lives would have been better but they're still living in a post-apocalyptic world, n more people are going 2 die than be saved n i like 2 imagine that Joel knew all this (maybe) n he chose Ellie anyway.

actually i don’t care i like 2 think he immediately stopped thinking when Marlene said they have 2 kill Ellie 2 make a 'cure' n he just didn't care about anything else anymore. yeah that fits better in my head !!

this text post is all over the place anyway uhmm Abby time.

i'm gonna put it out there right now: i do NOT fuck with her at all. also let's normalise understanding a character, all their motifs n everything n still being able 2 dislike them. i hate people who are like 'oh if you dislike/hate Abby then you obviously don't understand her character' LIKE???? yes, i understand her??? her character is literally a parallel 2 Ellie's. Abby's redemption mirrors Ellie's damnation. 'you can't get mad at Abby 4 killing Joel when he killed her father.' like shut up yes i can?? in fact here i am getting mad right now. it's a cycle that never ends. Joel kills Jerry, Abby kills Joel, Ellie kills Abby's friends while searching 4 her 2 get revenge, Abby kills Ellie's friends ‘cus Ellie killed hers, n it just continues. they're both doing 2 each other the exact same thing each of them are doing 2 the other. their motivations behind all their actions are literally the same. i get it. if one side starts, the other doesn't stop. they're literally 2 sides of the same coin, i get it. i totally understand why Abby did what she did. but that DOESN'T mean i have 2 like her??? Abby dick riders getting mad n pissy when ppl don't like her as if she's not the literal antagonist of TLOU2 when you play as Ellie. she's the other playable protagonist when you play as her obviously but when it's Ellie's pov, she's obviously the villain ?? just like how Ellie is the antagonist when you play as Abby??? or at least they're both the anti-hero,, maybe,, in each other's storyline. anyway i don't care 4 Abby. i understand her character but i still dislike her. 'you only hate her ‘cus she killed Joel!' yeah… exactly. i also am aware that as someone who is insane about Joel, i am being hypocritical right now ‘cus the people who hate Joel are probably the same people who like Abby n vice versa. anyway moving on. i also don't particularly understand why people say hating Abby = hating Ellie. like yeah they're extremely similar but like,, we played around 15 hours of TLOU1 like obviously i have a stronger emotional connection with Ellie n Joel??? is that a superficial reason 2 dislike Abby?? yes but i don’t care!!! i do not fuck with her at all!!! yes i understand that Abby has gone through things that deserve sympathy/empathy 2, but like... i'm still inclined 2 be more biased about Ellie n Joel though... also like Abby told her dad that she would want him 2 do the surgery on her but i think it's easy 2 say that when you're not the one actually doing it. like we all would probably say we don't mind dying 4 a good ‘cus until we actually have 2 die n it's like,,, I DON’T KNOW like it just seems so simple 4 her 2 say she would die 4 the vaccine but she's only saying it 2 make her dad feel better n ‘cus she's not the one actually going through with it you know???? rhfjdjfjjdhh i don’t know i hope so far i'm making sense. also Dr Anderson never answered Marlene when she asked if he would do the surgery on Abby, which is an answer in itself, n that's soooo hypocritical of him 4 real sigh

okay i think that's all the character opinions i have (probably i don’t know) now i'm gonna talk about the scenes that drive me CRAZY

UHMMM THE 'you're not my daughter, and i sure as hell ain't your dad.' OH MY GOD??? the first time i saw it i paused n almost threw up ‘cus if someone i thought was a father figure, or just like the first adult that didn't disappoint me in my life since i came out of the womb, said that 2 me when i am quite literally begging them not 2 abandon me, i would simply just drop dead n die n you would never hear from me again. THE UP N DOWN GLANCE HE GIVES ELLIE LIKE HE'S SIZING HER UP 2 B4 HE SAYS IT????? Ellie is better than me 4 real ‘cus i would never forgive him 4 that (lying, i would forgive him if he stabbed me 4 fun) like holy shit he hit her where it HURT. yes i know he did it ‘cus he was scared that he already got so attached 2 her but JEEZ MAN that's BRUTAL. the way her eyes LITERALLY drop n you can see every miniscule detail on her face detailing how HURT she felt when he said that... graphics were INSANE

GOING FROM THAT 2 THE 'oh babygirl...' SCENE??????????? WHIPLASH IS REAL BYE. ofc not 2 push aside everything that happens in between ‘cus Ellie fought like hell 2 keep Joel alive. ARGHHHH she never left him even when he asked her 2 n even when he wanted 2 leave her first, she never gave up on him :((( they care about each other SO MUCH i'm going 2 be SICK. right okay, the babygirl scene??? it felt like my heart was being healed from all the angst 4 real. the way his face is SO soft when he's trying 2 get her back 2 him like OH MY GOD also the fact that there's dialogue but no subtitles or voiceover so it's up 2 the audience's intepretation 2 tell us what Joel says 2 her when he's CRADLING her face is so fucked up. ‘cus i know some people think he's saying 'i'll promise i'll never leave you again' n some think he's saying 'i promise i'll never let anyone hurt you again' n TBH EITHER WAY, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT 4 REAL LIKE TBH I'M GLAD LOWKEY THERE WASN'T ANY VOICEOVER ‘CUS I WOULD NEVER STOP REPLAYING IT. BUT I WISH THERE WAS A CONFIRMATION OF WHAT HE SAID. THE WAY ELLIE'S EYES GLAZED OVER N JOEL JUST KEEPS HOLDING ON 2 HER N MAKES SURE SHE'S LOOKING DIRECTLY AT HIM WHEN HE'S COMFORTING HER??? i cannot fathom being loved that much, like it's actually UNREAL 2 me.

okay here's where it gets NSFW a bit so MINORS DNI this paragraph PLEASE thanks!! anyway i have a woman hard on 4 Joel the second he was introduced. yes i have daddy issues, next question. anyway he's SO fucking fine n he's a good father so double smash. everytime he came on2 screen, so did i. uhm the scene where Joel is torturing david's men, i replayed it 8347345 times n tbh with one hand 2 (/hj) n LIKE.. Joel beating a bloater with JUST a MACHETE like yes the bloater alrdy took some damage b4 but HOLY SHIT that scene was hot. Joel was always constantly hot n the creators KNEW what they were doing when they designed him... like that,, n gave him THOSE voice lines,, search Joel Miller voice lines on YT n just close your eyes bro that shit is straight up P*RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i genuinely think he's so attractive. i would let him do the most atrocious heinous filthy things 2 me. you CANNOT leave me alone with him ‘cus i would not let him out. i would find a way 2 mesh our bodies tgt (☆▽☆) he's genuinely so handsome n fine!! i literally want 2 stick a straw in his tip n suck his milk. i am so sorry 4 making anyone read that but i mean it unfortunately. if i was in TLOU i couldnt be trusted 2 patrol with Joel ‘cus he would probably kill something or someone 4 my sake n brush it off as nothing n then i would tackle him n start sucking n fucking him so good like we would not make it back 2 base. we're going twenty rounds with no breaks. the only break he'll be doing is breaking my back n splitting my pu$$y in half with his massive cock.

OKAY ENOUGH

Ellie's 15th birthday :( i'm a space kid so it just hits SO hard,, like everything he did 4 her. the dinosaurs n the planets. the way this part was only like.. i don’t know less than one hour of the whole game n it was the happiest part of the game imo (uhm Dina n Ellie n JJ are bittersweet 2 me OKAY!!) THE WAY THEY TEASE N BANTER N LIKE ARE GENUINELY SO ADORING WITH EACH OTHER. Joel pushing her in2 the water n jumping in 4 her when she asks. JOEL FINDING HER THE COUNTDOWN TAPE. HOW FUCKING HARD DO YOU THINK THAT WAS HUH? ASKING IF HE DID OKAY??? HE'S LITERALLY SO FUCKING SWEET!!!! HE'S JUST A FATHER WHO LOVES HIS DAUGHTER BRO PLEASE GOD LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! THE WAY HE WAS SMILING SO SOFTLY AT HER IN THE SPACESHIP??? HE WAS WATCHING EVERY LITTLE DETAIL 2MAKE SURE SHE WAS REALLY HAPPY.. THE WAY HE BARELY EVEN SMILES IN THE GAME N DURING THIS SCENE HE WAS FUCKING GRINNING BRO OH MY GOD. he literally gave her the moon, stars, n the planets :( they deserved 2 be happy man i fucking HATE TLOU2 HHH they could have had so much together HNGDHFHH Joel didn't even get 2 meet JJ :(

please b4 you come at me with the 'Abby deserved happiness with her father too!' just save it man. i don't care n i don't wanna hear about it like DNI with this post if thats all you wanna say <;3

Joel's death. i knew he was going 2 die but like when i was watching p2 i didn't think it was going 2 happen THAT fast. never cried so hard (lying) 4 real he didn't deserve all that. okay he did (i guess, whatever...) but that shit was cruel n 2 do it in front of Ellie 2... man,, Ashley Johnson needs every award 4 the voice acting in that scene,,, holy shit was it so painful 2 watch 4 FUCKING READ. n the aftermath like when i saw Ellie taking Joel's jacket, my mind immediately went 2 Harry Styles' Cherry where he said, 'i noticed that // there's a piece of you in how i dress,' :( THE WAY SHE BURIES HER FACE IN HIS FABRIC LIKE SHE'S BREATHING HIM IN 4 THE LAST TIME... THE FLOWERS IN FRONT OF HIS HOUSE, THE BLUE HYDRANGEAS SHE LEAVES AT HIS GRAVE SYMBOLISING FORGIVENESS n REGRET ,, THE PIC OF SARAH N ELLIE ON HIS TABLE :( THE BROCHURE FROM THE DINOSAUR EXHIBITION THAT HE KEPT :( THE WOLF (WLF) N THE MOOSE (JOEL -> PROTECTOR) MOTIF :((( GOD THIS GAME IS SO FUCKING TRAGIC I HATE IT SM literally crying so hard right now. the way Joel’s death was so trauma inducing 4 Ellie that during her breakdown, in her flashback, she recalls what happened n it was so much worse than what actually happened. the stairway being longer n the way she falsely remembers Joel calling out her name n begging 4 help n the way she kept pleading 2 stop??????? i literally hate everything. THE FACT THAT SHE WAS HOLDING JJ ALL THE WHILE 2??? PLEASE MAN,,, WE 4 REAL CAN’T HAVE SHIT!!! ALSO the way the game just literally lost it’s colour after Joel dies like the colours got all muted/ desaturated n all the nature/wonderment we used 2 see in TLOU1 just like disappeared after Joel dies,, mirroring Ellie’s emotions/ state of being BYE that’s so genius i don’t care if it’s obvious HHH it’s such a neat little detail 2 notice.

the scene right before they find the hospital n Joel is holding Ellie’s limp body n he’s frantically, desperately trying 2 see if she’s breathing n he realises she isn’t n the fucking ice cold water i KNOW he feels running down his spine ‘cus the scene is becoming 2 familiar again,, he knows he could never live with himself if he fails another one of his girls… the way he’s just giving her chest compressions even when he could have been shot at any moment n it’s just a perfect bittersweet parallel 2 Sarah’s death GOD he loves his daughters SO fucking much. a father’s love is something i’ll never comprehend or experience ever GOD.

'if somehow, the Lord gave me a second chance at that moment, i would do it all over again.' if someone said that 2 me i would literally start throwing up (but /pos). the fact that Ellie JUST decided 2 try n forgive him n then he just dies... ND kys why would you do that 2 me. Joel could have said something like 'i regret doing what i did,' or 'i'm sorry,' but instead he says he would do it all over again, not knowing how Ellie would react like she's already so angry at him n he doesn't even hesitate 2 say all that even though he knows it could set her off. he stands firm that what he did was right ‘cus 2 him, he would rather have Ellie alive n hating his guts 4 the rest of his life no matter how much that hurts rather than her being killed 4 a world that was beyond saving anyway n that is so insane 2 me 4 real. 2 be loved that deeply that he would damn the whole world just 4 his daughter. please don't talk 2 me. he does not care if she hates him 4 real he just wants her alive n that's SO!!! he's just a dad who loves his little girl :(( n in TLOU2 Ellie, at the heart of it all, is just a little girl who misses her dad :((( i hate this game. ALSO the detail in this scene is CRAZY, you can literally see Joel's lip quivering minisculely n his eyebrow is twitching n he's literally holding back tears BRO GOD he loves Ellie sm n ARGHFJDHS the way after that scene Ellie gets woken up by Jesse the next day n she tells him she overslept but every other time b4 or after the INCIDENT she never has a good night of sleep. DIE.

i don’t really know how i feel about the ending of TLOU2. it’s angsty n all but the boat image being no longer in the dark means that there’s hope 4 Ellie 2 like become better or something like that right? yeah i don’t know i just wish there were more scenes of her with Joel, n Dina (i can never get enough okay) but in all seriousness, despite how many times i’ve said i hate TLOU2 i do think it was a good story. imo tlou1 was great n didn’t necessarily NEED a sequel (stfu let Ellie stay 14 4ever HHHH) but i liked it anyway. i wanna know what happens with Tommy n Maria though, like are they separated separated or does Tommy find a way past his hatred n back 2 her??? n what happens 2 Dina n JJ?? are they okay? does Dina tell him about Ellie n Jesse? oh man i miss Jesse :( he would have made such a good n cool co-parent. ARGHHHDDJ low-key wish i could break in2 the creators’ home n demand these answers {{{(>_<)}}}

hmm some miscellaneous thoughts:

ELLIE IS SOOOOO WOULD’VE, COULD’VE, SHOULD’VE CODED BRO YOU CAN’T TELL ME OTHERWISE. ‘AND IF I WAS A CHILD, DID IT MATTER? IF YOU GOT TO WASH YOUR HANDS’ n ‘IF YOU NEVER TOUCHED ME, I WOULD’VE GONE ALONG WITH THE RIGHTEOUS’ HELLO???????? literally her entire arc w/ D*vid LIKE that scene where was hunting her was SO scary,, it was scarier than having 2 watch Abby make out with Owen. [All I used to do was pray // Would've, could've, should've // If you'd never looked my way] how many times do you think Ellie regretted the moment she decided 2 follow D*vid n his friend 4 the medicine. wait- no like not that she regretted trading 4 the meds ‘cus i feel like she would’ve done it again 4 Joel but like she probably would do it safer n less trusting I DON’T KNOW like i bet she feels INSANE thinking about all the ‘what-ifs’ if she never followed D*vid sigh i’m so bad at voicing my thoughts jesus how did i ever score an A 4 my lit analysis when i was in secondary school,, the brain is 4 real crazy. ANYWAY.

THE BRIDGE??? ‘If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?’ despite already killing D*vid brutally, she’s forever haunted by the trauma it caused n i know she feels like she should just get over it already but she literally can’t ‘cus that was the moment she really killed killed n he tried 2 ruin her n i bet she would do it again but she hates that she probably liked killing him but she’s so right,, Ellie i would do it again n again 2 bae dw. ‘Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts // GIVE ME BACK MY GIRLHOOD IT WAS MINE FIRST’ oh my God… bro,, give her back her girlhood it was hers first 4 fucking real. she never really had girlhood 2 begin with,, FEDRA definitely was shit 2 her, she lost Riley when she disappeared then she lost Riley again when she died then D*vid happens n it’s like,, give her a fucking break jfc bro she never really got 2 be just a girl, or even a child, i don’t know where i’m going with this but that one line is SO her 4 real she just,, every bad thing that happened 2 her was never her fault or deserved like everything that was taken away from her… give it back GIVE IT BACK return everything n everyone that was taken from her bro that’s so fucked. okay the chorus n outro uhm,, ‘And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven’ the satisfaction of killing D*vid is definitely this line, n maybe also everyone she killed while avenging Joel (maybe, but probably not ‘cus i don’t think she liked how violent she became) maybe the pain of her survivor’s guilt was heaven 2 ‘cus it meant she got 2 meet Dina n Jesse n spend more time with Joel 2. ‘And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts // Memories feel like weapons // And now that I know, I wish you'd left me wondering’ LAST LINE IS HER TALKING ABOUT KNOWING THE TRUTH 4 REAL. ‘MEMORIES FEEL LIKE WEAPONS’ Ellie’s PTSD is strong in this one 3:

‘God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be’ Ellie when she had 2 kill her inner child n went on a rampage 2 avenge Joel. Ellie when she learnt the truth n had 2 live with her survivor’s guilt. Ellie when her relationship with Joel got strained n tense not like it used 2 be. Ellie when she lost herself 4 real. ‘The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind // I regret you all the time // I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep // The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign // I regret you all the time’ literally her relationship with Joel isn’t it?? she lowkey regrets that she met him (IN A WAY) ‘cus he took her choice away 4 her life 2 have meant something n like i know she tries 2 forgive him (n eventually does) but like i don’t know i feel like those lines are so her n Joel. ‘I fight with you in my sleep,’ ‘cus she doesn’t really talk 2 Joel right but she definitely can’t fucking sleep right knowing what he did. i think it hurt 2 much 2 look at him so the only time she actually got mad at him was when she wasn’t awake. (hope that made sense `(*>﹏<*)′ i feel like the regret line isn’t so much talking about her relationship with Joel but rather herself, i feel like it resonates more with how she treated Joel, i just know she wished she could have said that she wanted 2 try 2 forgive him MUCH earlier if she knew she wouldn’t have that much time with him left. also Dina, she probably wishes she could find her again at the end. SIGH

ELLIE IS MY TEARS RICOCHET CODED 2!!!!!!!!!!! ‘AND I CAN GO ANYWHERE I WANT // ANYWHERE I WANT // JUST NOT HOME’ LITERALLY HER AT THE END OF THE GAME ‘CUS SHE’S ‘FREE’ NOW BUT WHERE DOES SHE GO? WHERE WILL SHE GO? WHO WILL SHE TURN 2? BYE FUCK OFF WHERE/WHO IS HER HOME ANYMORE. I HATE IT HERE. ‘You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same’ ELLIE WHEN A PART OF HERSELF DIED WHEN JOEL DIED OR LIKE WHEN SHE KILLED A PART OF HERSELF 2 AVENGE JOEL N LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND ARHGDSFGDFSJH ‘You turned into your worst fears // And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain // Crossing out the good years’ Ellie when she literally became someone she never wanted 2 be n drowned in her need 2 get revenge. ‘And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed’ Ellie n Joel. literally it’s just her missing Joel. i hate bitches 4 real.

Dina deserved better. she straight up deserved SO much better than what Ellie gave her. the way Ellie left her alone in the theatre?? the way Dina was up all night helping with the map n i don't even remember if Ellie said thank you or not?? Dina IMMEDIATELY giving her mask 2 Ellie when hers broke??? Dina being with Ellie every step of the way n Ellie leaving when all Dina wanted was 4 her 2 stay??? ‘prove it, stay,’ DINA WAS BEGGING BRO N ELLIE LEFT N MY FUCKING HEART,,, Dina you deserved so much better ily you are so so so hot 2 me.

i don't want 2 think about Yara n Lev :( they loved each other so much n thinking about them makes me so sad. i also don’t want 2 think about how Abby n Lev parallels Joel n Ellie or anything like that, please leave me alone ＞︿＜

Ellie's descent in2 becoming someone so violent was so devastating 2 witness. she literally had 2 sit down n was nauseous the first time she shot someone in p1 n we see her become this mindless (not really ‘cus she gets ptsd) killing machine in p2 is so crazy (she looked so fucking hot doing it though). she literally loses her mind 2 the violence in order 1 avenge Joel ‘cus she loves him that much, its so twisted. ALSO her saying 2 sam that her biggest fear is ending up alone n THEN IN PART 2 SHE ENDS UP ALONE????? ND KYS THAT'S SO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING

THIS SONG?????? THE SONG JOEL SANG 2 ELLIE,,, TROY BAKER’S VOICE SINGING IT??? THE GMV?????? the song is literally about Ellie n Joel (TヘT) ‘If I ever were to lose you // I'd surely lose myself’ WHAT THE FUCK someone pulling my heart out while i was conscious would hurt less. ‘All of my stolen missing parts // I've no need for anymore’ Joel when he found Ellie n recovered the part of him he thought he buried when Sarah Died n how he learns how 2 love again MAN. ‘Back when I was feeling broken // I focused on a prayer // You came deep as the ocean’ both Ellie n Joel were looking (if indirectly maybe) 4 something 2 save them from the darkness, internally or not, n they saved each other. THEY SAVED EACH OTHER- Joel found someone 2 love n cherish, n Ellie found someone who loved n cherished her n didn’t just want her 4 her immunity PLEASE they love each other SO MUCH. ‘All the promises at sundown // I meant them like the rest’ Joel talking about caring 4 Ellie, Ellie talking about how she’ll try 2 forgive joel. ‘Hey angel, I am here to stay // No resistance, no alarms // Please, this is just too good to be gone’ ANGEL???? kys. Joel really did try 2 stay. he tried so hard 2 fight. the last line being some type of foreshadowing towards his death ‘cus i guess good things really do never last. HE JUST WANTED TIME WITH HIS DAUGHTER OKAY.

HBO Show time :3

i think the show was really good,, holy shit episode 6 when Joel is sniping n he's making sure Ellie gets out of the place as unscathed as possible?? i was like captivated bro i was watching with my eyes wide open n barely breathing ,,, their performance was so good. loved episode 8 obv the babygirl scene was so healing AGAIN. i don’t know i don't really have that much 2 say about the show after watching the game ‘cus like essentially it's all the same except the show cut out some parts n added others. Bill n Frank episode was so tender :( n Joel's monologue 2 Tommy saying all he does is fail Ellie... my God pedro pascal recited his lines PERFECTLY,, director yelled cut but he heard CUNT instead n delivered.

YOU KNOW WHAT sorry 2 get NSFW 4 a bit AGAIN but i sat there clenching my thighs SO TIGHTLY when he gunned down the entire hospital. literally had heart eyes n everything watching that shit.

‘so time heals all wounds, i guess. // it wasn’t time that did it.’ WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. THE WAY HE PURPOSEFULLY MAKES EYE CONTACT WITH ELLIE WHEN HE SAYS IT, LIKE HE FULLY TURNS HIS HEAD 2 MAKE SURE HE MEETS HER EYES SO SHE KNOWS WHAT HE’S GETTING AT N THEN THE EYE CONTACT THEY HOLD AFTER HE SAYS IT N THEY WAY HER EYES WIDEN N IT’S LIKE GOD CAN YOU EMOTIONAL CONSTIPATED BITCHES JUST SAY I LOVE YOU PLEASE ANYWAY THE WAY HE WIPES HIS EYES 2 AFTERWARDS??????? THIS SCENE WAS SO SOFT GOD FUCK

WHY DID THEY CUT OUT THE PART WHERE ELLIE JUMPS IN2 THE WATER WITH HENRY N SAM N HE KEEPS HER AFLOAT LIKE THAT SCENE WAS SOOO IMPORTANT IMO 2 SHOW THAT JOEL THINKING OF HER AS 'CARGO' WAS SLOWLY DETERIORATING I DON’T KNOWJDSSDH BUT THE WAY SHE KNOWS SHE CAN'T SWIM BUT SHE KNOWS JOEL WON'T LET HER DROWN LIKE THE WAY JOEL GOES 'i got you, i got you,' LIKE OMG????? HNHGDHFGDH

WHY DID THEY ALSO TAKE OUT THE SCENE WHERE JOEL LIKE GETS CAUGHT UPSIDE DOWN IN BILL'S TRAP N ELLIE HAS 2 SAVE HIM LIKE THAT SCENE WAS SO FUCKING COOL JDHSDJSDF JOEL WAS SO COOL THERE SIGHHHH

PEDRO PASCAL N BELLA RAMSEY DID SUCH A GOOD JOB OMFG BELLA RAMSEY DESERVES ALL THE AWARDS BRO HOLY SHIT she's such a good actress. their relationship n their chemisty on n off screen is so precious ahhhh they did so good!!!

here r some tiktoks that have me sobbing immediately n gives me immeasurable amounts of grief:

https://www.tiktok.com/@iostlegacy/video/7213479467690249480

this is the edit that got me curious about TLOU in the first place. i was BAMBOOZLED thinking i would get a cute father-daughter duo game (i did but it didn't last) FUCK i love TLOU

https://www.tiktok.com/@cast1ebyerss/video/7242296022716697858

it's the way she becomes this person she obviously doesn't want 2 become,,, which you can tell from the way she gets literal PTSD after the first time she tortures one of Abby's friends 4 information,, like actually tortures,, but she continues doing all that fucked up shit in the name of revenge 4 Joel ‘cus like she loves him SO MUCH!!! ‘when i get home, i’m gonna bury you,’ SHE HAD 2 KILL HER INNER CHILD KYS FUCK anyway the transition from her being all alone n violent 2 her 14 yo self AUGHDHSVSHHSHSHS the way she was she was literally fighting 4 survival during that time (not saying she isnt now like TLOU2) like she was like on 'roadtrip' with Joel fighting infected almost everyday but she was still so much happier n innocent-er AUGHHHHH the pipeline is 2 real omfg i freaking love Ellie hfhdhdjdbd I love Ellie Williams in my head she is Ellie Miller anyway,,

https://www.tiktok.com/@lcvesrobin/video/7199341136308210950

THE FUCKING TRANSITION FROM TAYLOR'S YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN KID 2 THE 19*5'S ABOUT YOU IN WHICH THE LYRICS ARE 'do you think i have forgotten about you?" KILL YOURSELF,,, ALSO THE FUCKING CAPTION?? ‘CUS SHE WAS ALWAYS ON HER OWN BUT THEN JOEL SHOWED UP N WAS THE FIRST PERSON 2 PROPERLY LOVE HER ENOUGH 2 QUITE LITERALLY OR WTV DAMN THE WHOLE WORLD N HE JUST FUCKING DIES N SHE ENDS UP ALL ALONE AGAIN FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU LONELINESS REALLY IS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD I JUST WANTED THEM 2 BE HAPPY MAN her only fear was 2 not end up alone n thats all she was in the end (choking on tears)

https://www.tiktok.com/@ramsyvsp/video/7246107689821015338

‘YOU GO HALFWAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY WITH SOMEONE’ // ‘I SAVED HER’ please i can’t take it anymore i literally have work, i work at a job n these bitches got me on life support ,, trying not 2 cry ,, abt 2 talk 2 my supervisor with tears in my eyes thanks. Ellie wanted 2 save the world n Joel wanted 2 save his n that’s exactly what he did.

https://www.tiktok.com/@qshleyvsp/video/7249372913017588999

please don't even talk 2 me.

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSLssF7ah/

self-explanatory. what if i actually started throwing up like /srs.

uhm okay here's like just me talking about Joel n Ellie ‘cus i have daddy issues n the thought of being loved that dearly makes me physically ill.

i love Joel’s character SO much. the way he’s always been some kind of father/protector 2 EVERYONE around him is so,, he loved Sarah n when he lost her, he lost himself n he dedicated his life 2 protecting the only family he had left ie Tommy n even when that went 2 hell, he was then protective of Tess (let’s be honest she was a milf who could fight like a bitch mwah gone 2 soon) n then Ellie. he was always being someone else’s ,, defender. the way he obviously closed himself off after he thought he failed Sarah n the way he got attached 2 Ellie n ultimately let her in n just seamlessly fell in2 the role of a father again like he was just shrugging on an old jacket. SARAH TAUGHT HIM HOW 2 LOVE N ELLIE REMINDED HIM HOW SIGHHH,, Ellie n Sarah could’ve been the best sisters UGH also the way Ellie was always by herself n she really only had Riley n then she lost her 2 n then she met Joel n he was the first person in her life that didn’t let her get hurt (ish) n actually gave a shit about her so she let him in (SIGH) even though she was probably so scared of ending up alone again (SIGHHHH) n they just. THEY’RE THE ONLY DAD/DAUGHTER DUO EVER MANNNNN

i love their relationship. i love them 2 death. they are so insanely lovely 2 me like how they go from barely tolerating one another 2 risking their lives 2 save each other. being loved by Joel means he doesn't care how violent he has 2 get 2 keep Ellie safe n that's exactly what he did n i can't even imagine anyone loving me that much n it makes me ache 4 someone older who would stop at nothing 2 keep me safe. omfg i'm getting off track. anyway, Ellie loves Joel so much that she's doing everything 2 forgive him, knowing she thinks she's worthless without her immunity meaning something n that is so deep. i love their relationship so dearly. they are so somft 2 me. ignoring the murder n all. i don’t know i just. i never had a connection like Ellie has with Joel. ever. n just like thinking about how if i were in Ellie's shoes, i would just be constantly in awe that someone has the capacity 2 love n care 4 me as much as Joel does n how is he not bursting at the seams. i love Joel. i wish dads were real. sigh okay i think that's all.

yes, that's it. thanks 4 reading. love you xx

#tlou #the last of us #joel miller #ellie williams #joel and ellie #tlou spoilers #SPOILERS #-kai

1 note · View note

aita-liveontv · 1 year ago

Note

Hi a few things

-I have been informed that Fight Song was not written by Katy Perry. Oops

EDIT:: mom doesn’t own the house. She doesn’t pay for the house by any means. As long as any of my siblings have been alive, so like 32 years, she’s never had a job— her disability developed in the last 6 years, and I no longer want her to have a job, but if y’all think this is contingent on house ownership, mom explicitly does not have her name on the deed.

I have a dad(58M) who is an inactive player in this situation. He works a demanding overnight job and often sleeps through the day until it’s time to leave again. When he doesn’t have work, he acquiesces to mom because he wants to keep the house peaceful… even though she’s the one most likely to disturb the peace.

To the people in the thread who thought my siblings have 25+ genders between us: you’re my favorite people here. I’m not certain we have that much gender, especially because I’d skew the average since the number of gender I have is none.

Now for the question being asked the loudest;

Why not get your own TV?

Generally speaking, I live paycheck to paycheck. Summer is kind to me because I work at a tourist hotspot so sometimes I can afford a video game. Note: I haven’t bought a console since 2017.

I never said all three of us have jobs. I just said I have a job. One doesn’t have a job because of disability and since writing this ask, the other (also unemployed due to disability) sibling had an abrupt change of address (in another country, I cannot visit at the drop of a hat). As the only one with a steady income, buying a TV would just be too hard a hit when I’m worried about gas and food.

Additionally: it is very much an issue of space. None of our rooms can accommodate more than one person for long and the ventilation in our rooms mysteriously sucks so bad. It isn’t a comfortable time and not really an enjoyable time either.

Now the real reason I sent this ask is because I wanted to see if my mother was justified when this issue hit its peak. I wasn’t sure about including the full story because it’s a long one and I was scared I wouldn’t be believed, but here we go.

Consider this the official expansion of AITA for wanting to use the TV?

In February of last year, she kicked me out of the house over this.

In the week prior to this incident, I was using the TV to distract my siblings from the death of a pet. My mother said nothing during this time other than “Think you’ll be done at 5?” and we’re like yeah that’s cool

One day she changes her tune and tells me to stop asking for the TV because I used it for the past 4 day (4 hours at a time, but to her this constituted “all day”.) I didn’t want my siblings to go back to their room because the grief hit them hard. I was doing this to take their minds off that long enough that they’d have an appetite.

Yes I did tell my mother all that

No, she did not care because she didn’t care about the pet that died and thought we were dragging out the grief (it happened… 4 days ago…).

When I told her I was doing this to take them out of their heads, she started yelling at me and calling me selfish (???). Anything I tried to say was suffocated by her continued yelling. I told her that she was being childish over this.

I step outside the house to catch my breath and cool my head, my mother ran after me (despite her disability) because she made sure I wanted to hear what she said next:

“Don’t come back.”

I should note that I suffer from anxiety and suicidal depression, which she’s always been dismissive of, but she’s aware that I’ve ended up in a psych ward more than once. So to tell her historically suicidal kid to not come home was… it felt really fucking bad.

I stayed with at my older sister’s house during this time (she has since moved to another state, thus I cannot play games at her place if I wanted to.) and I wasn’t stable to go back home until two weeks later. Where she’d revert to her typical MO of pretending like nothing happened and then yelling at me because I’m not reciprocating her buddy/buddy attitude.

This is when my siblings and I started saving TV time until it was past her bedtime (which ranges from 11PM-2:00AM.). Which did a number on us as far as sleep goes (we’d usually give up by midnight).

Since I came back it’s been endless acquiescing to her because if I complain about unfairness, I now know the worst thing she can do to me is make our home feel so hostile that I can’t remain in mentally.

So sometimes I wonder if I’m the problem.

If this all happened because of me. Like I know she can be childish and selfish, but I insisted against her. I knew how hostile she can be but I still said “but hold on—“. I’ve had a lifetime to get used to this sort of song and dance, but I still knowingly take the wrong steps.

So am I the asshole for still asking? Butting heads like this usually just results in making my siblings upset, but I really don’t think I’m asking for that much.

AITA for wanting to use the TV?

I (26, NB) live with my parents (55+, M and F) and siblings (25+ assorted genders). I have a job and I don’t pay rent because it isn’t asked of me. I do pay for all of my own entertainment things like consoles and video games, and I like playing these games on the TV in the living room because my siblings have fun watching me/accepting me being bad at video games be background noise for whatever work they’re currently doing.

My mother does not like it when we use the TV. Ftr, she has control over the TV 16 hours out of the day, but doesn’t really watch anything. She’s not engaged in anything she puts on the TV, really. She’s either on her phone, watching TikToks, in another room doing something else without pausing her show, or just straight up asleep. But if we try to take the TV when she’s not engaged, she yells at us and throws tantrums for being rude to her; even if she lets us use the TV she will spend the entire day making passive aggressive comments at us for using it.

Note: when I say “we” this is because the three of us siblings all count as one unit even if we aren’t all engaged in what someone else has on the TV.

What’s weird is how hard we need to push to use the TV for maybe 2 hours/give a condition where she can ask us to stop when she wants a turn, and she can openly ask or give us a heads up like “can I have the TV in 30 minutes?”.

Sometimes we also ask her to turn the volume on her phone down/use her airpods because we’ll watch shows with tense scenes or get to climactic points in a game and our experience can be ruined if a tiktok starts blasting katy perry’s fight song (true story; completely ruined the true pacifist ending of undertale). She gets really mad about this, but we never play things at loud volumes on our phones (because we are scared at being yelled at) when she is ‘watching’ something.

So why might I be the AH? Well… she has a mobility disability and can’t really go upstairs to her room to do something else or go outside for a walk or anything, so I understand that this is basically the only thing she has in the way of a hobby… (I mean if you can really call binge watching hallmark movies a hobby.)

TLDR; mobility disabled mother controls the TV in the house’s only common area for 16 hours out of the day but doesn’t really have other means of engagement. AITA for wanting to use the TV to play games or watch shows with my siblings?

Additional info: we try to do things when she goes upstairs, but that tends to be near midnight on many days, so we don’t get to do much.

Sometimes she engages in what we’re doing, sometimes asking questions or giving commentary when I’m being bad at video games. She’ll even laugh and joke about it sometimes.

She is not interested in watching shows as a family and has no interest in trying any video games.

What are these acronyms?

86 notes · View notes

theoreticslut · 2 years ago

Text

「 all so you can have a kid 」

eddie munson x fem reader

summary: eddie knows a thing or two to help comfort you when your period is getting the better of you.

requested: yes & no

word count: 1.5k

warnings: mentions of having a period, brief mention of having kids, pet names (princess & honey), brief mention of sex/sex life, teasing, love confession, cuddling

a/n: i’ve had this written for a while now - for at least two months i think - but i’ve been waiting to post it for whatever reason. i enjoy it though, and i hope you all do too Xx

You can’t help but sigh as you adjust yourself ever so slightly to lay on your stomach, tightly hugging a pillow, while a mixtape of yours softly fills the room. With your lack of energy and sore body, there’s nothing you want to do more than lay in bed.

The only thing that might be better than this is if you had someone to keep you company, but you had no plans to have anyone over nor do you feel like asking anyone to come over.

Letting yourself zone out to the music, you close your eyes, groaning lightly when the doorbell of your house rings. Luckily you’re not home alone so you don’t have to get up.

“I want you to want me…I need you to need me…I’d love you to love me…I’m begging you to beg me.” You hum along to the cassette, hugging your pillow tighter as you sigh, back aching.

You hear a soft, quick knock on your door, but by the time you turn to look in the direction of it, your best friend has already opened it and let himself in.

“Hey, princess.” Eddie smiles, shutting your door as you rest yourself up on your forearms.

“Hey, Eds. What’re you doing here?”

“Wanted to see you and hang out, if that’s okay?”

“Of course it’s okay. I love hanging out with you.” You smile, watching as he shrugs off his leather jacket, revealing his hellfire club tee - the one you designed for him.

“I love hanging out with you too, honey. That’s partly why I’m over here all the time.” He states, sliding into bed in front of you, resting on his side to look at you.

“What’s the other part?”

“Your dad is an amazing cook.”

You shake your head, smiling at him as you lower yourself back onto the bed, happy with just his presence.

“Why’re you so lazy today? You’re usually so excited to see me. Don’t tell me you’ve finally become immune to my charm.”

“As if that could ever happen.” You scoff, looking up at him after rolling your eyes.

“I’m just tired and sore, Eds. Don’t want to move.”

“How come? Did you finally meet someone that knows how to fuck?” He questions, teasing you about the poor choice in guys you have.

Even though you’ve never explicitly shared your sex life with him, he loves guessing how the guys you’ve been with are, always commenting that they could never treat a girl how she needs. As if he knows any better himself - not that you’d know that, though.

“You’re disgusting.” You huff, scrunching up your nose as you hug the pillow closer to your body.

“It’s just a question.”

“Not that my sex life is any of your concern, though.”

“If it’s not from being fucked well, then what’s got you all tired and sore?” He questions, scooting down the bed until his face is level with yours.

You frown at him lightly, not wanting to say it, knowing he’d find it disgusting. Not that having a period is disgusting - it’s just your body taking care of itself really - but he’s a guy. Guys typically find it disgusting.

“What?” He questions, searching your face when you don’t say anything.

“Eddie,” you sigh, cocking your head the slightest bit.

“What? Are you sick?”

You shake your head, sighing as you close your eyes, a soft groan leaving your lips as you move.

“Then what? Is it-oh.” He chuckles, shaking his head before looking you in your eyes.

“Princess, is it your period?” He gently questions, a soft smile on his face as he waits for your answer.

At your little hum, he nods in understanding before grabbing your hand and tugging you towards him. Furrowing your brows at him, you watch him smile.

“Come here.” He laughs.

“Why?”

“Just come here.”

Giving in, you let him pull you nearly on top of him as he lays on his back.

“Eddie,” you start, still confused.

“Give me a second.” He chuckles, helping you to get comfortable - your chest resting on his torso, your head nestled into the crook of his neck as your left leg drapes over his right.

Once you’re pressed up tight against his body, he wraps his left arm around the back of you, his hand reaching the small of your back which he carefully massages.

“Ohhh.” You hum, relaxing into his body as he rubs your sore back.

“Does that help any?” He questions, watching as you exhale and snuggle in closer into him, your eyes closed.

“Mhm.”

“Good. I’m sorry you're not feeling good.”

“Not your fault.” Your murmur, simply appreciating his body heat and the soft pressure of his hand running over the small of your back.

“I know, but it’s not fair you have to go through this. All so you can have a kid someday.”

“Mm, not the worst thing. Not with you here.”

“Careful, princess. Remember that flattery works with me.”

“Couldn’t forget, Eds. You’re the best, though.”

“Only because I love you. You know that?”

“I know, and I love you too.”

“I know you do. Couldn’t ask for anything better, either.” He smiles, leaning down to press a kiss to your head.

You hum, trying to get even closer to him although you’re already pressed against him as tight as you humanly can be.

“You know, you’d be an amazing boyfriend.” You absentmindedly mumble, his hand pausing only a second as he takes in your words.

It’s not that you haven’t had the thought before, but you’ve always been too scared to voice it, worried he’d take it as you having feelings for him - which you do - but you didn’t want to scare him.

“You asking me out, y/n?”

You can hear the smirk in his voice and all you can do is shake your head as you bite back a smile. Either this is going to be a big joke to him or he feels the same way as you, and you really hope it’s the latter.

“Always figured you’d be the one doing the asking, Eds.”

“Oh yeah? You been thinking about me asking you out - my pretty little best friend?”

“You haven’t?” You retort, quirking your brow as you keep your eyes shut, not wanting to confirm nor deny that you have thought about it.

“Now I never said that.”

“No?”

“Nuh-uh. Truth is I’ve thought about it plenty.” He states, voice no longer carrying his teasing lilt, but still sounding as if he’s got a smile on his lips.

“Have you now?”

“Mhm. Now what about you? Have you thought about it, honey?”

At his question, you pause a moment, trying to decide the best way to go about this. If you tell him honestly, will he get scared?

“Maybe a few times…”

“Just a few?”

“Because I’ve thought about it nearly every night since the seventh grade.” He murmurs, voice soft and sensual just above your ear.

“Might’ve been more than a few.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. I’ve kind of loved you for a while.” You admit, softly opening your eyes and titling your head to look at him.

“Lucky me.” He teases, using his free hand to push some hair out of your face, stomach flipping at how beautiful you look laying on top of him and looking up at him with such tired eyes.

“I like to think so.”

“I guess it’s a good thing that I’ve loved you for a while then too, huh?”

“I guess so.”

“And I guess it’s also a good thing that I think you’d make an amazing girlfriend too?”

“I’d think so.” You smile, feeling your stomach tighten in excited nerves.

“Then I think it only makes sense for me to ask you to be my girlfriend, huh? If you think I’d be a good boyfriend, and I think you’d be a good girlfriend. Not to mention that we both love each other.”

“Seems like the only logical thing to do.”

Shaking his head with a wide smile, you can’t help but find yourself smiling as well, watching his beautiful brown eyes as they crinkle slightly with his chuckling.

“God, I love you, honey.” He smiles, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Will you, y/n y/l/n, be my girlfriend?”

“I’d love to be, Eddie.” You smile, puckering your lips for a kiss, hoping he gets the message that you don’t want to move more than you have to.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. Now can I please give you a kiss, Eds?” You nearly pout, puckering your lips again as he chuckles, leaning down to press his lips to yours.

You can’t help but moan lightly into the kiss, drawing a chuckle from Eddie as he pulls away lightly, rubbing his hand over your back again as he leans back in.

When thinking of wanting company earlier, you certainly didn’t think it’d include a boyfriend, but here you are, and you honestly wouldn’t want it any other way.

--------------------------------------------------

pls like & reblog if you enjoyed!

join my taglist.

#stranger things #stranger things fanfic #st fanfic #stranger things fluff #st fluff #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff

547 notes · View notes