#my brain where I was like 'oh shit he's deadnaming this is serious now' and it is such good characterization!!

[spotaus]

Hi. So. I'm here to go feral over this rq-

Okay gonna be 100% with you chief, I'm not sure where this rb is going to end up going because my brain just keeps going between how masterfully you write bonding moments and thinking about Horror absolutely scruffing Nine and Rahna- so, my apologies if it's a little silly this time around!

So, first off, YAY!!! NINE PERSPECTIVE!!! Gods you write him SO good, Ancha. He's got such a personality and it makes so so so much sense for his character and lore! Him being a conniving bastard was a central part to his lore and you caught it perfectly (ex. Joining Regius (spelling it wrong-) in a feigned attempt to get into the meeting with a secret agenda the whole time-) and it just! Doesn't stop! He keeps going!!!

And boy when I tell you when I picked up on the fact that the direction Nine's opinion of Cross went was that he was useless and didn't have any personality? And that Rahna and assumedly the others share that belief? (I know it's because they didn't let him flourish or support him at all, it was mostly Ink, Night, the Knights, and Ccino who did the heavy lifting but!!!) Ough I was gonna explode because. Yes. For this self-important skeleton, who believes he is always in the right? Cross was exactly that, and if he hadn't grown out of it since the last time they saw each other, then nothing must have changed. Ougghhhhhh

And!!!! HARPER AND SHEP!!!! The scream I scrumpt at figuring out they were the ones guarding the hall! Like, one: yeah, that checks. Two: THE BABIES!!!!!! Oh Harper being so so chill (whether it's because she knows she could probably take both of them or because she's very aware Horror is nearby, either and/or both are amazing-) and Shep being Shep!!! Harper acted as the initial, unmoving, roadblock. Shep acted as the absolutely bonkers second act- And their banter!! They're friends! (or at least Harper's been on duty with him enough to use humor-) Nine and Rahna are having horrific imagniations of what happened to Shep and Shep is just standing there like 'hehehhehe got 'em >:]' Thank you so dearly for bringing these two back to my doorstep <3

And Rahna sensing that they were gonna get decked if they didn't move along is SO fun! Was that absolutely a hint in my book that either Killer or Horror was there? Yeag. Is it absolutely even funnier to know that neither of them knew 'who' was the danger, just that there was some and that they should scoot off?

And then the tapestries... I love the fact that this implies that, about 3 years after announces his current form and continued rule, that he eventually decided to have the tapestry finished and ready to continue for the next generation. The three new panels made me SO giddy as I was reading about them. The portion where the goopy Night is sending little Dream away. Goopy Night symbolically passing the crown to Little/current night (though I imagine it's more directly saying, by overlapping them, that 'hey, this is the same guy') and then the rule with the twins together again with the merged symbols and the visible age difference??? Waugh???? This is SUCH a good way of showing everything that happened, my goodness! And I adored the way Nine perceived it with his -5 knowledge to go off of! It was still extremely clear to readers who would know the ritual and events by now (me. i'm talking about me, I'm crazy-) and yet the interpretation makes sense for Nine and could totally be believed by any other person in-universe to believe as well, which would be entirely useful for Nightmare later on down the line! Genius!

Also poor Rahna- The folks in Nightmare's castle are so free from the fears of bad flirting and predatory behavior that they really just said 'haha, she's weird. Let's just send these guys straight towards the knight least-likely to take their shit :)' And went about their days. Gods I know this is my story but like, you bring the energy to life just right!! Raugh!!!!! (Also Nine throwing shade at his bestie like that, omg...)

Every bit of the Dust and Cross moments were beautiful to me... Nine and Rahna watching from behind barrels, eavesdropping for sure, but god-honestly just gobsmacked by the horses for 80% of it was beautiful.

Okay. Okay. Limestone and Cross are so great to me, especially with how it's obvious he's used Limestone for rides, but much less combat-based moments, so he's still uncertain and nervous. Perfect for him to learn, perfect for Dust to teach. And Dust explaining to him that he needs to trust Limestone as much as Limestone needs to be able to trust him?? Chef's kiss!!! (Also I loved the touch from Nine about how little force was needed to get Limestone moving. And on the topic of Nine, how degrading he was and how obviously frustrated he was getting when just *watching* someone teach Cross. Oh boy, his impatience knows no bounds, no wonder Cross was so anxious about learning/being taught!)

Also I love the way you wrote all the parts where they were riding, the techniques and the toes and such! Did you have to do research or did you know that off the top of your head??

Fun Geno mention btw! I giggled and kicked my feet about that one. Not only was it great timing to show off that, yes Nine they DO have powerful cool magic things, but also a nod to the healing relationship! (And Cross being frustrated over it was still do so funny- "You're literally the only one who would need something like this, Dust" he's not wrong!) And when it came back into play during Dust's showing off tricks?? Ough. I've said it before, I'll say it again, Geno's flirting style would have absolutely worked on me- Who said that?

Anyways. Back to the scenes with the horses. I liked the little worldbuilding bits too that reference back to unseen scenes from way before, when Cross was still in Ritten and under Xgaster's watch. Because Nine mentioning that Cross never used to seem anxious, or wriggle, or talk with his hands, or smile (that one hurt-) and so surely this was something wrong and different, right? Surely they had done something to his little brother. But it becomes more and more apparent that. no. This is natural healing and something done with help and something that he brother always had in him but never had the safe-space to do so, and he only shakes the initial villainization by twisting the narrative to convince himself that Dust must've been the reason Cross seemed to be doing relatively better.

Which. Btw. Nine was so funny at the start. I loved how he badmouthed Nightmare internally and swore that he was a fake, weak, false king (the 'taking too long' and 'he doesn't know how they secured a treaty with Sanctuary' is SO funny to me with narrator knowledge. Knowing Night's basically putting them through a test that they aren't even aware is happening-) and mentioning Prince Dream (Yippe!! glad to see Dream by Nightmare's side again!!!) should take over because Nightmare is obviously younger than him, and it's only a matter of time before things can go south- And then badmouthing internally the knights for being inattentive as he snuck around (Shout-out to the Cats <3) and calling Horror weird and surely no good with the hole in his skull (Ancha ur the funniest author ever for having Nine think 'injuries like that don't just happen' because he is SO wrong-) and Killer just. For being Killer and telling him off like he had. And then the presumptions about Ccino and that his 'Head of House' title was just a front for something else. And THEN assuming Dust was only a Knight by title because of how well he handled the horses and Nightmare just needing to keep him around through any means nessicary. He fumbles almost every assumption possible and I love him for that <3 but then. Sorry. Back on track. Dust. he looks at Dust being a good (Brother, but he's not processing that) Teacher to Cross and decides that. Yeag. This guy is tiny and I'd tower over him and he has a freaky connection to horses and he's kinda cute... Dammit why didn't I wear the good armor! Bro thinks he's going to seduce Dust back to Ritten when he takes Cross- I was cackling at how that bit was included, it meant the world to me to see this man gain a crush and then immediately fumble so so badly.

And the- ough the scene with Dust letting Cross speak and listening and then absolutely reassuring him that it was okay and that he is 'perfect' the way he is now and he doesn't have to be who he was before or bend to anyone's expectations??? Helo??? Hello can anyone hear me, I'm sobbing!!! Having Cross walk away from it a little bleary-eyed too? That's some good brotherly heart to heart I swear- Oh and the hug, and Cross being so worried about it and Dust just reassuring him- I'm weeping

And Horror. Horror Scruffing Nine and Rahna before they could go and screw it all up? Holding them down behind the barrels and telling them (but very pointedly Nine) to just shut up and listen to Cross for once? Oh the shock they both had about being spotted and snuck up on, the realizations from both of them as Cross spoke about his fears, the gut-punch of Dust being so kind to Cross and Nine getting the first edges of a wake-up call finally? And the moment Dust spells it out, referring to Lust as Cross' boyfriend? That being the final nail in the coffin that, yes, he appears to have been wrong. Friends, colleagues, they all could have ulterior motives or be forced to be around you, but a partner? Partners were probably one of many many things that never even occurred to Nine for Cross to have, and it being spelled out that Cross has a partner, who he would like to go spend time with, who supposedly was known to other and who would help him calm down? Cross has to have changed if that was the case. Ten could hardly hold a conversation, Nine couldn't imagine that little soldier trying to hold hands, let alone be in a committed relationship. And as it was, everything, all the evidence, weighed up!

And dudeeee. Dust finding such a good way to get Cross so leave (for his own good) and not ruining the mood was so tasty. Not the way he strolled over and made a straight stare at them! Talking over them just to Horror! The two of them calling them children and Nine realizing just how long they were trailed and how oblivious he's been?? And them getting pulled back inside and passing the maids- gods those two need a raise because their drama-loving vibes totally paid off in the funniest way possible (again, rip Rahna-). The two of them continuously bringing up the time-out and Horror sticking around and Dust taking up his shift- I love them!!! This is horror-scenario levels of embarrassment for Rahna and Nine, but absolutely the best bonding time for Dust and Horror- Imagine getting a crush and then ur Crush immediately calls you childish and you get locked in jail-

And I love how harmless the punishment really is. It's not really clicking for him but the Knights are having a bit of fun with it. This is the brother who treated Cross so poorly and who keeps making their little brother uncomfortable, of course they're going to embarrass the shit out of him the moment he slips up! But they're not hurting them, not shackling them or using it to extort the Ritten royalty. They're literally doing exactly what they said, putting the kids in time-out! And they're having a good time about it too. petty revenge one might call it.

Oh. right! last note!! Nine realizing how much like his dad he's become!!!! WAUGH!!!! SUCH a good ending note!!! Bro got time-out to think about why he acts so much like Xgaster and maybe that's why his little brother is trying so hard to avoid him.

Okay I feel like there's more I could say but I think this ran a little long but. Oh this was so fun Ancha istg your cooking is amazing-

NewAgeAU Drabble - Nine does not equal Ten

Hi @spotaus ! I am not even sorry at this point!! I had an idea and I think by the title you can guess what it is about this time :3

We are in post story again! (i am keeping my strike going lmao) but this time? very different character. Nine :3 (also. Xundyne's name for now is Ranha, from piranha... because she is a fish monster and well... I wanted a fish themed name for her lmao)

Also warning. Nine think very degrading and judgemental. in case that bothers you.

He is also a very unreliable narrator lmao.

*----------------*

Nine makes sure to frown as he crosses his arms while his king, and co-king honestly, disappear into the meeting room with the brat that calls himself a king.

Nine only acts annoyed of course. He knew he wouldn't be allowed into the meeting room and he had been planning on it. It is hard to search this place if he is suposed to be in one room.

Ranha stands by his side, huffing and puffing as she mutters stuff under her breath. She is honestly annoyed with not being allowed inside the meeting room. Nine is sure she will be fine with it after he shares his plan.

Nine watches the brat acting as king lead his own king and his right hand inside. They would both be named king after the coup but the resistance hadn't wanted to push the people of Ritten too far. Nine watches as the crown prince, prince Dream, follows the child and Nine still doens't understand why Dream hasn't taken the crown yet. It can't be that hard to take the power from the younger skeleton. How Nightmare is still seen as king is a mystery to Nine.

Sure it seems like things are okay after three years but Nine knows not to bindly believe people. He had hoped that Ten would have finally learned that lesson by now but it seems that wasn't the case. But that is okay. Nine will be the great brother he was meant to be and get through to Ten and get him home. Easy.

The meeting room door closes and Nine nudges his best friend "Hush." and he nods towards the side. Ranha tilts her head and her red hair shifts slightly. She glances at the door before following him down the hallway.

"What is the big deal Nine?" She seems puzzles.

Nine looks back over his shoulder but nothing happens. Hah. See? And this is why Nightmare still being seen as king is a mystery to him. Those Knights are nothing but hot air as he doesn't even see any of them following him, no wonder Ten got accepted into the role so quickly, the knights clearly can't spot a single threat even when it is right in front of them. All he sees behind them is a prestine looking cat watching them.

"I knew they weren't going to let us join the meeting."

Ranha looks annoyed "Then why did you ask me to join you? I could be exploring the town and checking the stalls and stuff! See what people really think about their weird king and the weirdos here." the shark monster huffs.

Nine rolls his eyes "Because I am in the castle now. Which means I can finally find Ten and talk some sense into him."

Ranha stares shocked before she smiles broadly "Nine you are a genius! Lets go!"

Nine grins as he waves Ranha to follow him.

It isn't the first time he is in this castle. It is the fourth now. Each time Nine would just watch and wait only to not see Ten. This time he is going to search himself. Nine is lucky that Nightmare is a brat and clearly inexperienced with getting allies as it is taking his king and the brat king ages to get a treaty finalised. Honestly how Orchard managed to get Sanctuary as ally is still a mystery but Nine doesn't have time to figure out how this fake king is managing.

If Nine knows one thing is that kings like that will always fall by the brave people who are willing to stand against them.

But that isn't Nine's job. He already made the wrong choice like this before. When he picked the coup over his brother. When he didn't bother to help his brother adjust to all the heavy changes.

Nine had needed time. Time to even believe there were other options. To see that these options weren't wrong and could work for him. His friends had helped him see this. Yet Nine hadn't permitted Ten these insights and moments.

This time though! This time he will make this work! Even if Nine knows that Ten will never be able to fully adjust and become like them. He has gone through too much conditioning to ever be his own person again. But Nine can lead him in the right direction at least.

Ranha knows the way and it seems that she has the same plan as Nine had. Which is going straight towards the private wing.

None of them had allowed access to a whole wing of the castle. Apparently that was the royal's private wing. Which who needs a whole wing to themselves?!

Selfish pricks. All of them.

They turn the corner and get out into the hall. Nine ignores the many many tapestries. Ranha is right behind him as they make their way all the way through the next hall with large windows. They finally reach the right hallway and slow their running. They walk side by side with confidence as the near the entrance. There are two guards there but that doesn't matter. Nine is a visiting guard from a country their stupid king wants a treaty with. It will be easy to gain access.

Nine is a step away from entering the royal wing. He can't help but look at the arch leading into the next wing. The arch is large and high and seems to almost be like tree roots or branches. With small leaves and everything. It looks so livelike and Nine wonders who carved it, it straight up looks like living tree branches. Many other decorations and details just like this one are all across and around this castle.

He can't wonder much longer as the two guards cross their spears in front of Ranha and him.

Ranha glares "What are you doing? Let us through!"

A cat like monster, orange of colour, sounds very unamused "No one is allowed access into the king's wing." She looks unbothered.

The dog monster next to her grins "What Harper said. Shoo little kiddos." the grin makes the slight greying around his snout stand out. He has short trimmed fur and most obviously, the cut tail.

Nine huffs as he stands taller, easily towering over the black and white dog "I was allowed access."

The dog hums and taps his chin before shaking his head "Nope! Doesn't work like that!"

Harper nods "Indeed. Only the royal family and those allowed acces by either them of the Head of House are allowed entrance."

Nine wants to roll his eyes at the stupid head of house title. Everyone should know that is just some stupid coverup. Nine has his theories but for now he sees his in. He gives a charming smile as he nods "I know of course. But he told me himself he needed me to grab something for him." he grins as he wiggles his eye brows. Hinting at a secret meaning.

The dog and cat share a look before Harper looks unimpressed "We do not allow entrance to anyone unless he told us himself he allows entrance."

Ranha luckily sees what Nine is trying and joins in "We seriously got the go ahead! It is an emergancy that we are allowed in."

The dog shakes his head again "No can't do! The last time I didn't follow the orders they cut off my tail! And I only have one of those and I don't want to imagine what will go next."

Nine feels sick to deep in his soul. They... They did what?!

Harper glances at her partner unamused "Shut it Shep."

Shep grins at her "What do you think Harp! What will be next?"

Harper looks umimpressed "If I am lucky it will be your tongue."

Nine feels sick. What is wrong with these people? Why are they still here? What kind of hell and torture kingdom did his stupid younger brother get himself stuck in? Well not for long! Nine will make sure to tell the others everything.

But only after he managed to get Ten home. To get Ten away from this place before they realised that Nine was going to bring this whole kingdom down. He won't make the same mistake of ignoring his brother just because it would be harder for him. No. He will first free his brother and then they will bring this hellhole down and people will be celebrating them.

Harper looks unamused at them "You are not welcome here. Please remove yourself from this area or we will be forced to remove you ourselves." She sounds bored as she says this.

Nine is very sure he can take them but Ranha huffs and walks away. Nine looks back betrayed before following her.

They walk through the halls until they end up in the tapastry hall again. Nine glares at Ranha "Why would you-"

Ranha stops as she shakes her head "You don't understand. You know how I sometimes have these feelings? Of incoming attacks?" Nine nods. It was one of Ranha's many talents and how Ranha was undefeated.

Ranha continues to speak "When you got ready to get us inside. I felt it. This large... presence. Suddenly and ready." she shakes her head "Danger. I felt it was better to retreat and make a better plan."

Nine frowns but sighs "Fair enough. The chance that Ten would be there is rather small..." He may be one of his knights but Nine doubts they truly get anything aside from a title and more dangerous jobs. Well and the masks, those are rather cool. Nine would like a mask. He thinks he would look amazing and very cool in one.

Ranha nods as she mutters "Where could he be... or who would know?" She rubs her chin "The knights probably. But i doubt they will want to help us. I have no doubt that whatever the king used to keep Ten listening to him also works on the other knights. Do you think it is somekind of mind control? or like blackmail? mind control would be okay to break but blackmail is much more sensitive, especially as it implies he got it somehow. We could also wait until the treaty is signed and go by Sanctuary and see if we can get more support through them. Make an allyship with them and then overthrow this whole country."

Nine should be listening. But all he can do is stare at the tapastries.

They happened to end before a set that Nine had been ignoring. Almost like the world itself is trying to force Nine to see and consider them. The first in the set that calls his attention is one showing two small skeletons. One in yellow and one in purple. A sun shown above the one in yellow and a moon shown above the one in purple.

It isn't hard to connect the purple skeleton with the brat king. But Nine doens't understand. Because the yellow one is clearly the crown prince. But they look the same age here. Same height and everything. It had already been confusing that the younger brother had gotten the crown before the older one but this made it seem as if they are much closer in age than the real them shows. It confuses him. It could be something to play up the dramatics but when they had their tour it was implied that these tapastries are a way to document the past.

Though the actual historic events could have gone down differently and this is just another piece of propaganda.

The next one shows a picture of a dark and seemingly partly liquid monster. A skeleton still but large and dark and with tentacles on his back. He stands tall with an arm pointed outwards, the young yellow skeleton is being send away. As the tall one remains with a crown on his dark skull.

Nine looks at the third that caught his attention. This one shows the dark skeleton standing behind the young king. The dark goop skeleton however doens't look menacing. Instead the sockets are closed as the large imposing figure stands with open hands towards the young skeleton in purple. The young skeleton has his sockets open and seems to stare outwards. The tentacles all hang around him as well, not ready to strike but in a way that seemed to surrender. a crown held within the young skeleton's hands.

Nine ponders. He wonders if the gooped skeleton had been Nightmare's parent. He knows that Nim was suposed to be the king before Nightmare and that the gooped skeleton took over. Something about taking the crown from the rightful heir. Nine knows that the gooped skeleton had been named Nightmare as well and Nine is very sure that this one just named the now ruling Nightmae after himself, like a Nightmare the second. This also ties in with the whole head of house theory he has. Nine knows that the head of house is a useless title often given to a favourite servant. Somekind of excuse to keep someone close without needing to put actual time and effort into them standing out as consort or advisor. And the tiny skeleton had to have come from somewhere.

Of course his theory still has holes in it. Mostly what the deal with Dream is and where he fit in. But Nine hopes to eventually figure it out. He already figured out a lot of the situation after all.

He looks at the last one and huffs. It shows the young skeleton in purple holding hands wiht an older looking skeleton in yellow. The moon and sun having been united into one symbol. On the moon side were figures which resembled the different knights. Nine can't help but stare at the one with the snow leopard mask. His brother... stuck in some legacy and played like a pawn... If Nine had tried harder to make Ten feel included would Ten have been okay? Not perfect but maybe a bit better?

On the skeleton in yellow's side was some warrior in blue with a large hammer and a skeleton with many colours and brown clothes with a tail.

Nine stares at the title 'Reunited.' Seems like all these pictures have names. Nine doesn't understand but figures it is some sort of propaganda. Something to mellow out people and make it seem like it is okay.

"Nine?"

Ranha looks worried before she looks at where Nine is staring and her smile turns gentle "Hey... I know you want to help him. And even if we can never truly make him fully whole. We can at least give him a safe place."

Nine sighs and nods "It is something." The damage that his father and old king did was too large. There is no way his simple and naive brother will be able to fully get over it. To be able to move past it. But Nine will do his duty as brother and keep Ten somewhere safe. Some simple jobs will be good. Some normal routine.

Ranha looks around and sees some maids walk by and Nine follows her as she rushes over. She smiles brightly at them before making some small talk. The maids seem happy and content. Easily talking back and giggling once or twice. Though Nine can't help but feel like this is not the way girls normlaly giggle when Ranha flirts with them. This seems more... amused? It is hard to explain. He notices a black cat on the window sill. Lounging as it stares at them with large yellow eyes.

Ranha is casual as can be once she asks the question "I was wondering if we could see a knight! You know. Maybe the one with the white panther mask?"

The maids share a look before one snorts "You mean Cross?" Nine just barely manages to keep his annoyance is. His brother's name is not fucking cross. It is Ten! That is his name and Ten will always be Ten! The maid hums and looks at her friend "Is it training time?"

The other shakes her head "I don't think so. I believe I saw sir Cross with sir Dust."

The first one laughs and nods "Oh that is easy then." she smiles brightly at them "They will be at the ranch. That is where Sir Dust always is."

Nine blinks confused. The ranch? Why? Ranha however asks where they can find it and the maids tell them how to get there. They do warn them to not bother this Dust knight when he is working with the horses before walking off together. Giggling and whispering stuff. They shoot them a look before rushing off giggling again.

Ranha grins and flexes her arms "Still got it." Nine isn't sure she does but he won't challange her on it. They follow the hallways and Nine can't help but stare at the walls around them.

The walls look strange. They have ridges and dips and when Nine feels them they feel like they are made of wood yet he knows for a fact that they are suposed to be rocks and bricks.

Nine once again wonders which masterful crafter and builder made this castle. It almost seems alive. It is warm and beautiful. Everywhere there is signatures of nature or references to it.

The castle he is used to. That of his father. It was all sharp lines and precision. Nothing was allowed to be out of place. No dust or dirt anywhere. Everything had to be perfect.

This castle was wilder. That is the best way Nine can explain it. It is wild and uncontained. It branches outwards. Stuff is uneven and different. The pillars aren't exactly the same even as they are all that same carved stone to look like roots. It feels alive. It feels living. It seems the breath. It feels like there is something larger at play.

Yet it doesnt feel welcome, he doens't feel welcome. Nine can't explain it exactly.

They get outside and follow the path. It takes them a while as they walk past some trees and through a small forest and then they see it.

It is a large ranch. Build with this deep greenish wood of all colours. WIth multiple large pens nearby. It is open and large. But the trees give it privacy. It is beautiful.

Nine feels Ranha tug on his armour and follows where she is pointing. In a pen he can see his brother! Ten is there but... he is seated on a beige horse. Large and strong looking. Antoher skeleton is nearby and seems to be messing with the reins of the horse.

Nine begins to walk closer but he starts to slow his steps. Because... Ten isn't wearing armour. Nine can't rememebr the last time Ten hadn't been wearing armour. Back at home he always had to be ready. Ten.... Ten didn't have time to relax in a casual outfit. Or do things for himself. And yet... here he is... under another tyrant yet... he is wearing casual clothes? He is sitting on a horse? is this somekind of trick of that king? Let Ten relax to make him more loyal? Maybe the brat is smarter than Nine thought.

Ranha shoots him a confused look before going to step closer to the pen but Nine stops her. He can't explain. it is just... Ten looks... He looks different. Not just his clothes but... something else. Nine can't quite explain what it is or put his finger on it. He needs more information. He needs to be prepared to break through any trick or lie. He nods towards the side where a large fench is located and some barrels. Ranha nods and sneaks there with Nine right by her side. They hide behind the barrels and Nine focusses his magic. He quickly enhances his sight and hearing and focusses in. Strangely enough he also feels like there is rian in the air but a glance up shows a cloudless sky. But any thought about the weird feeling in the air is forgotten as soon as Ten speaks.

"Are you sure about this Dust? I still don't think I am ready. What if he throws me off?!"

The other skeleton, Dust is just wearing a large sweater. It looks to be made of high quality. He also seems to be wearing just a beanie to cover his skull. A large red scarf wrapped around his neck. The scarf looks a different quality than everything else.

The other tilts his skull at Ten. Seemingly considering his answer "If you fall off. We can try again."

Ten glares "Dust this isn't funny."

Dust seems to disagree as he grins slightly, just a slight upturn of the teeth "It is fine Cross. Just a matter of trying again. And you and Limestone need to practise this."

Nine feels himself get angry as they use the fake name for his brother but he needs to remain calm. He needs to watch and learn.

Ten grumbles unhappily as he glares down at the horse "I just... I don't get why you can't just train him... You trained Basalt... and Granite for that matter!"

Dust tilts his skull "I did. But he needs to get used to you while running. Get used to how you move and your weight." he pets the horse, the horse leans into Dust's touch "There needs to be trust Cross. You need to trust Limestone that he won't throw you off. And Limestone needs to be able to trust you that you will lead him into the right direction."

Ten blinks and seems to stare at Dust for a moment before looking down at the horse. The animal just stares at him. "I... euh... oh..."

Dust tilts his skull the other way "Do you want to try galloping first?"

Ten looks up and Nine finally figured out what is different. Why Ten looks different. Ten is... smiling. He is smiling brightly and nods excited at the idea.

Nine... Nine can't remember the last time he saw Ten happy and smiling... It is a face he never saw on his brother.

Ranha mutters softly "Wow... I never... He looks so differnet now... so much... more like... A person? i guess? It is weird. I am used to him just. Standing straight and like saluting and being still and unmoving? Like some statue and not like a person?"

Nine nods because he notices it now. The way the Ten is messing with the reins. The way his leg seems to tap the stirrup. The way he seems to almost... wiggle in place a little.

Dust chuckles and nods as he pets the horse a few more times "Go for it. Limestone wants to move." and he takes a few steps back.

Ten gets a large smile on his face as he kicks his heels lightly back, Nine is very surprised when the horse starts moving. He thought you had to be rougher and kick harder to get horses to move. That was hardly a tick.

Yet it works. As Ten starts to ride the horse and the horse speeds up quickly. Very quickly. Ranha suddenly gasps "Holy shit. That horse still has like the three toe system."

Nine blinks in shock. He knows that the wild horses form Orchard were rumoured to be faster and much more diverse than the horses in other places. The wild horses continued to adapt and where made to travel long distances for faster speeds unlike the normal horse endurance. The toes give extra stability and would make the horses able to travel all kinds of terrain while still being fast.

Nine stares in awe as the horse speeds up and than continues to go full speed ahead. Ten tugs lightly on the reins and the horse reacts instantly. Making sharp turns and Nine notices that the back looks longer and sligthly bigger than the horses Nine is used to.

These. These truly are a different breed.

Maybe Nine can convince his king and friend to keep this allyship going for a bit longer. Or maybe get a few horses out of the deal. Nine has no doubt these horses could be much better with good riders.

Ten is.... surprisingly okay with riding the horse. Makes okay turns but well. It is just Ten so NIne is sure he is doing stuff wrong that they can work on back in Ritten, once they find his shortcomings.

Ten eventually returns to Dust and Ten smiles brightly and Nine can't help but stare. He looks happy. He is happy. That is what is different about him. He is relaxed and happy and he doesn't stand as a statue anymore.

Ten laughs as he grins at Dust "Limestone is even faster than before!"

Dust nods but has a tiny smile on his face. Looking very content and proud "Limestone is a strong horse. He is fast and loves to exercise and run. It is honestly a bigger problem to make sure he rests than anything." he crosses his arms and raises a brow at Ten "Remind you of someone."

Ten blushes and looks to the side as he rubs his neck "I have been getting better with the whole work life balance."

Dust nods and agress easily. He pets the horse and looks at Ten "Want to try going faster?"

Faster?! How do you go faster than that!?

Ten looks deeply unhappy and unsure "I don't know..." he pets the horse.

Dust seems to stare at him before speaking "Would it be better if I lead the path with Pearl?"

Ten looks up and a look of pure relieve on his face. Had... had Ten always been this expressive?

Ten nods "Please."

Dust nods and looks to the side. He clicks his tongue and teeth and one of the horses looks up. A smaller but beautiful grey horse with striking purple eyes. The horse starts running and jumps over the fench before trotting over to the two skeletons and horse.

Ten laughs and grins at Dust "Pearl is showing off again."

Dust sighs and nods "I can't manage to unlearn her to jump fenches." the horse stops before him and pushes her whole head into his chest and arms. Dust pets the head and neck "You ready to lead Cross and Limestone?" The horse pulls back and tussles her head around before waiting patiently.

Dust puts his hand into his hip bag and pulls out this curious stone and metal item. He taps the side and bright gemstones light up and runes start to shine.

Ten looks alarmed "What is that!?"

Dust glances at him and a small smile appears "It is a prototype. Geno gave it to me to test it as I ride horses. It is suposed to be something to make it easy and quick to saddle up horses."

Ten looks deeply unhappy as he glares at the item as if it personally offended him "That stupid smug bastard. He is just trying to buy you over with stupid gifts."

Dust looks deeply amused "It is a prototype."

Ten throws up his arms "You are the only person who would find a good use for this!"

Dust chuckels as he lets the item get near the horse and it shines before it starts unfolding and a few clicks later and the horse is equipped with the normal rider things. Dust gets on top of the horse with a grace and confidence that leaves Nine open mouthed. He never... Even the people at home...

Dust looks at Ten "Ready?"

Ten grins as he nods "Yes. Lock the reins and just hold on right?" as he says it he messes with the headpiece on the horse and Nine wants to roll his eyes.

Dust nods and speaks "Indeed. Just make sure it is ready as if you are going to make a get away." and he waits.

Shit he really is patient... Is that why he is teaching Ten?

Ten nods and sits up straight "Ready!"

Dust chuckles as he turns his horse. He checks back over his shoulder to Ten "Go for it. Get him to follow Pearl." Dust doesn't even tug on the reins and Nine can't even spot an obvious movement to direct the horse to start moving. How did he do that?

Ten takes a deep breath before he leans closer to the horse and grabs hold on some extra handbars on the headpiece of the horse. The horse immediantly looks around as Ten nudges the horse to look at Dust and the leaving horse.

The horse stares before it starts to trod after the other skeleton and horse. Ten meanwhile stays as he is. Relaxing against the horse as his horse just follows Dust and his own horse.

It is fascinating. Especially when Dust starts to speed up with some unseeable comment and Ten's horse follows right along. There is no doubt. There is full commitment of both horses.

While Nine had no doubt that Ten still has much to improve with horse riding. Dust seems to be a master. He directs the horse with minimal movement and the horse seems to react immediantly to any unheard and unseen comment.

Soon both horses are running through the pen but it still isn't the gallop speed of before. Dust speaks up casually "We are going to practise you trusting Limestone. Just get into the position to blind ride. We are going to have Limestone follow Pearl's lead."

Ten nods "Okay. Okay. I can... I can do that." He lays fully against the horse and pulls his feet out of the saddle footholds. He messes with the saddle and the footholds get a lot higher and further towards the back. Cross does some weird combination of laying and crouching on the horse as he tugs his feet back into the holsters.

Dust looks back over his shoulder. Not at all seeming concerned about having to look where he is going as he blindly tugs at the right moment to make his horse make a turn "Not quite there but this is fine to practise with for now." he pets the horse's neck before leaning closer to the horse and the horse shoots of.

It goes faster than any horse Nine has ever seen before. It is fast and nimble as Dust truly rides the horse. The other horse with Ten blindly following-

Blind Riding. They don't mean it with looking. They mean it as they don't control the horses beyond the minimum. They are minimising the pressure and bother they could give the horses which enables those to run faster than before.

And if this is just the start... How fast can they go?

Ranha watches with her own mouth open before she mutters "This... this must be why he is a Knight. Not fighting or anything like that. He has a way with the horses."

Nine agrees and thinks she is right. The guy on the horse is fragile and delicate looking. Nine has no doubt that he towers over the other. Soft spoken too... But if he is this good with the horses. If he is able to train the wild horses and make them do this kind of stuff? no wonder they immediantly snatched him up and gave him the higest position they could. Make him stay.

The two horses are almost flying around the running pen. Then Dust leads his horse towards the middle where a small pond is located. Then Dust nudges the horse and it just jumps over the pond! It lands easily and keeps running. The horse with Ten doesn't pause a single step and copies the first horse. It lands safely and without a single issue.

Dust holds up an arm and fist and the horse with Ten starts to slow down and continues walking another round before stopping. Dust lets his horse walk by before just jumping off before nudging his horse. It huffs before continuing its trot across the ring.

Ten pants as he grins widely at Dsut "That was awesome!"

Dust chuckles "It is rather fun to just let the horses do their thing isn't it? and you made the jump first try. Killer fell at least twice."

Ten blinks as he looks up shocked "Twice?"

Dust nods "At least. I am pretty sure he snuck off to practise with Granite while I had my private training." he is by Ten's side as he checks the horse "How are you feeling? You were rather tense."

Ten laughs as he rubs his neck "I am fine... thanks for checking... It is just. I think I am done for today. Thanks again for... being here i guess."

Dust pauses his movements as he starts to undo the horse harnass "It is no problem. I am always here." and he clips it fully off.

Nine has made the decision that he likes this knight. The one he met first, the one wiht goop? The one that claimed Ten as his brother? Nine doens't like him. Weirdo with always having tear trails on his face. Not to forget how cocky and confident he acts. Must be some kind of trick and lie that he keeps up to fool and intimidate others. But Nine isn't fooled. He can see through that easily.

He also doesn't like the bigger guy. Dude moves too quietly for someone his size and that hole in his skull? You don't just get that on accident. Something sinister is in that one's past no doubt.

This one? Just a guy trying to train horses and help Ten with his horse and training? Nine can appreciate that. And sure! The fact he looks cute and pretty helps a lot too. Nine would in theory be fine with this guy joining them in Ritten as well. It would be nice for Ten to have someone who is already his friend. Help him feel at home even more. And then Nine can work on impressing the other by showing his skills! It would be quick and easy!

Ten is by Dust's side as they mess with the saddle and headpiece. They talk about settings and prefered length. Nine is honestly not sure what any of it means so Ten probably doesn't either.

Ten looks at Dust and looks down a bit embarrassed "I... I know I am asking a lot... But i don't really feel like going inside already... Mind showing some tricks? again?" and he looks hopeful.

Dust looks at him and nods "I don't mind."

Fuck he is so patient with Ten... Maybe this guy was a good influence on Ten. Helped him with his lessons and training. someone had to be as Nine doubts the king or those other two knights were.

Ten looks downright excited as he waits by the fench as Dust leads the horse towards the other pen where the beige horse joins the other horses. Nine can count at least ten in there, a whole herd of horses all slightly different shaped and colours. All looking healthy and strong and interacting.

Dust returns and gets on top of his grey horse with practised ease. Ten leans against the fench as he watches.

Dust turns his horse around and starts galloping through the area. Even faster than when he had been leading Ten on the other horse. Ten cheers as he grins widely. It looks so... unlike the brother Nine is used to... So very different.

Dust meanwhile makes the horse take a large turn and Ten grins as he looks around before grabbing a cap and throwing it into the pen. Dust aims the horse and straight up leans sideways and off the back of the horse. Almost fully upsidedown to easily snatch the cap of the ground before pulling himself back on the horse's back. Not once slowing down.

Ranha gasps "Hole shit that is so difficult... How?! Without slowing down!?" She is sitting up straighter to enable her to see everything easier. Pure awe on her face and Nine feels like he may have been not fully aware of how difficult that seemingly easy trick is...

Dust runs with the horse by Ten and straight up puts the cap on his skull. Again without once slowing down. Ten laughs and cheers "Go Dust go!" as he grins.

Dust keeps moving the horse around quickly and now he has started to zigzag with it! Nine blinks and looks at Ranha "Isn't that like... suposedly very hard for horses?"

Ranha nods as she doesn't look away from the display "It is insane! Horsese make large turns because of their back. I don't know how that horse is that flexible or how that guy can just direct the horse to make the turns by not actively turning but instead almost twisting in a jump?!" she stares "Is this what the rare horses can do? That inhabit this land? We need to get Regius to get some horses!"

Nine glares at his best friend "Don't speak the king's name so casually."

Ranha waves him off "It is fine. We were all friends before he became king so we are good."

Nine huffs as he focusses on the display of masterful horse riding. It is just that not speaking the title is disrespectful and he will not make them seem unprofessional or like they don't take their ruling class seriously. Regius only became king after the fall of the old one and Nine doesn't want people to think he is an easy target just because of that. And he doubts a brat like this country's king can see how much work they had to put into bettering what they had and helping their land and people heal from all the damage.

Ranha makes a curious noise close to choking and Nine pays attention just to see Dust standing on the back of the horse. Perfectly balanced and even balancing on one leg as the horse keeps running around the pen. He steps off the horse on a fench where he runs alongside the horse, the horse finally slowing a bit down, before Dust steps back on the back and the horse speeds up again.

Dust crouches down as he puts his hands on the horse's back before just making a handstand!

Nine can't imagine how hard standing on a horse could be. much less making a handstand?! He knows how to make a handstand of course and it is easier to do it with momentum. Dust did it without that.

Ten keeps cheering for his friend as Nine stares in awe. Ranha is muttering about how insane this is and how there has to be magic at play. Yet aside from the presure of the rain he has felt since the start he hasn't noticed any spells of any type. Not even to help lead or control the horses like other riders do. Nine can't help but just keep staring.

Dust sits back on the horse but backwards as he calmly undoes the saddle. The saddle falls off the horse and as soon as the saddle hits the ground it seems to disappear. Right, the saddle was part of that magic item Dust is testing. All while Dust remains seated on the powerful beast that is still running. Dust turns back around and messes with the reins that seem to make handholds on the headpiece.

Dust next grabs hold of the handholds and lays his legs on the back of the horse. He taps the side of the neck of the horse nad motions forwards before he lays fully against the horse.

The horse going fast before is nothing compared to how fast it runs now. It is bolting through the pen and there seems to be zero control that Dust has over it. Instead Dust just holds on and lets it do its things.

"He minimised his contact and hold on the horse. he freed the horse from the saddle to enable it to move even more freely and go faster!" Ranha looks downright excited as she just stands there and stares. Nine glares at her and pulls her back down to hide wiht him.

"Stop standing! They may see you!" Nine feels an anxiety at being caught snooping now. Not like before where he would just lie and say he wasn't snooping or spying. Now he is nervous about how it would reflect on him as a person, especially to the smaller and skilled skeleton. Fuck he wishes he was wearing his better armour than this one. He hadn't wanted to seem like he was trying to impress Orchard's ruler or make it seem like they thought they needed to impress this leader but he is regretting it now. How can he show him his best side when he isn't prepared!?

The horse continues to run before coming to a slow stop near Ten. Ten is grinning widely as he claps his hands "That was so cool! Dust it is nuts how fast you can go with Pearl!"

Dust shrugs as he gets off and grabs a brush to start taking care of the animal while Ten stands near his side. "I was wondering soemthing." Dust voice is soft and calm. Even.

Ten nods as he watches Dust work "Ask away."

Dsut shoots him a look before speaking again "I figured you would want to be near Nightmare with the guests here. Why with me?"

Ten goes quiet as he looks down. Nine nudges Ranha and nods. It is their time to act! This is the perfect set up-

A hand grabs him by the neck and pushes him flush against the barrels he had been hiding behind. Ranha makes a shocked sound and Nine can barely see her in the same position as he is in.

A deep voice speaks up "Dont you know that eavesdropping is rude? But what could be expect from snooping immature children."

Nine freezes. That is the voice of the big knight guy. The one wiht the lion mask. Horror. how... when? Nine hadn't even heard him! When did they get exposed and found out!?

Horror continues to speak "But if you wish to listen in. You will listen. You will hear what Cross has to say instead of speaking for him."

Ranha growls "His name isn't-UGH!" she chokes for a moment before the kngiht releases his grip a bit again.

"Listen."

Ten finally answers "It is dumb..."

Dust hums as he leans against the horse "Try me."

Ten isn't looking up as he rubs his own arm "I... I didn't expect them to be happy with me... That is fair. I just. Didn't expect them to hate me without knowing me." Ten frowns as he softly pets the horse "It is like... They are unhappy with who i am now and want me to be who i used to be, who i don't want to be anymore. Yet they hate that person." Ten hunkers in on himself "I don't... like feeling like that."

Dust frowns as he puts a hand on Ten's shoulder "That is on them."

Ten frowns as he looks away "It isn't... I" He frowns as he moves his hands around. Had... Had Ten always moved this much? That can't be right. Nine remembers him being still and unmoving. Their father had always been strict about staying in line and acting as they had to and-

and...

and being... the way he wanted... to be...

Like Nine wants Ten to be.

Oh...

Ten isn't the problem... is he?

Dust takes Ten's face between his hands and makes Nine's younger brother look at him "Cross. Look at me. No i mean it. Look at me." Ten stares at him and Dust looks at him "You are you. No one else. No one telling you how you should be or act is right. You are fine like this. You are happy like this. You can be however you want to be, whatever makes you feel good and feel like you are you." Dust gentle bonks their skulls together "I think you would do best if you visit Lust for a bit and you two hang out and focus on something else. Okay?"

Ten frowns but gives a slow nod "Okay."

Dust nods as he keeps holding the taller skeleton "And this is not me sending you away. I enjoy us spending time together. But i think being here while they are here is stressing you out. Making you second guess yourself. Go to a different environment and let yourself relax. When you come home we can try more horse riding or you can help Killer trying to get Kingdom Devourer out of a tree again. Go relax."

Ten frowns before nodding and just hugging the other. Dust chuckles and pats his back "You are fine the way you are Cross... In matter of fact. You are perfect the way you are." Ten's breath seems to hitch as he just holds the other tighter and continues to hold him. It isn't until some time passed that Ten lets go and steps back with an embarrassed expression and... and slightly hazy looking eyes.

"Sorry... I know you don't... don't like... I am sorry."

Dust chuckles and pats his back "It is alright. Go hang out with your boyfriend while I clean up."

Boyfriend... but... why would he... who would even want to date Ten? He doens't even have a personality and is just a tool and an idiot-

Except everything he has seen now shows otherwise and... Why does Nine expect Ten to be the same way that their father wanted them to be?

Ten walks away with a wave and goes straight towards the castle. Looking a bit better as he is smiling and seems to have a small bounce in each step.

Dust watches him go before he just walks straight towards their hiding place oh shit when did-

Dust stops before them and looks unamused. His gaze cold and seemingly able to look straight into his soul. Nine would have been frozen even without the hand holding his neck.

Dust looks at Horror "Good catch H. Trouble?"

Horror hums "They tried to get into our king's wing. I was ready to give backup."

Nine feels himself grow cold. They had been followed? The whole time? They had been watched the whole time and they hadn't even noticed!

Nine... Nine may have been wrong about how capable these guys are...

Dust hums "Lets put them in the jail cell as time out. Children should know not to wander after all."

Nine feels humiliated as he and Ranha are dragged towards the castle. Dust walks behind them as Horror leads the way, Horror does not let them walk.

They walk by some servants and Nine sees it are the same maids that they met in the hallway. The maids giggle and nod respectfully to both Horror and Dust and greet them with "Hello my Knights." before they shoot a glance at Ranha and Nine before gigglign together.

They are dropped off in a cell each and the door is locked. Nine goes to check the lock only to realise there is magic woven into the very bars and walls. These locks aren't just physical but also magical. He can't break them out.

Horror hums "There. Children have their time out." he looks highly amused as he nods to Dust "Mind taking over watch?"

Dsut shrugs as he walks towards the exit "I will take your shift. you make sure the children behave." and he leaves.

horror looks at them amused and Nine feels terrible...

Not just the fact he looked like an idiot to the pretty and skilled skeleton. But he also made a fool out of himself to be caught snooping and trying to get into places he isn't allowed to be.

He sits on the bed and can't help but look at his own hands.

Does... does Ten really not want to come home? How can Nine get him to come along? Will he be forced to drag his brother home.

Nine pauses at the thought and feels a new horrifying feeling overtake himself.

When did he become so much like his father?

[quietwingsinthesky]

You’d like the show Lucifer simply because the guy who plays Lucifer is hot as balls

oh you fool you have no idea the minefield you have just walked into that is my opinions on the tv show Lucifer.

for one, he’s fine, not really my type, but what was more interesting to me is what a handle he had on the character as written in the first few seasons (and hell, he had the charisma to keep me watching long after the show fell the fuck apart, if not to the very end.) Not only the charming-smug playboy aspect, but the incredible amount of anger boiling just below the surface. admittedly, lucifer’s my type of character, and not just cause he gets bonus points for being the devil, but. well. fictional characters who came out the other end of abuse not soft or easy but. fucking difficult to live with. he’s just kind of an asshole, for all his better qualities, and i love that about him.

and oh but if nothing else, i think i’d revisit s1 for just how well it Gets it. the cop show bit of lucifer was always the weakest bit, sort of rote but fun procedural drama (imo also at its best in s1 because of the tension chloe was dealing with in the workplace/with dan as a result of The Case That Went Wrong but it was never great.) but everything else? the way ‘lucifer goes to therapy’ could play both humorously and also for serious drama? that was fantastic. and s1 didn’t feel the need to pull its punches about what was happening here: this is the devil, and what god did to him was wrong and fucked him up.

which is. you know. more than the later show can say about itself or the takes it had on the dynamic between lucifer & god. (if i think about the way the show slowly began to dismiss lucifer’s trauma as it went on, how by the time we got to. what, s5? and we have a scene where god himself describes lucifer’s fall as a temper tantrum, it’s not a moment of horrifying dissonance between what we know about how lucifer was hurt vs how his father is portraying it, but a moment where we’re meant to laugh and agree, yeah, it probably was, lucifer is so dramatic and god is right. and if i think about that coinciding with the show removing lucifer’s agency in the bad shit he did do, literally just having a different character act the role of the devil and removing the whole point of a show about what the devil has to do for redemption- i get quite frustrated. is what im saying.)

s1 left scenes seared onto my fucking brain, though. the show just. Got it. in a lot of ways that i think were lost, especially after the netflix buy-out. early lucifer is so fucking good at fantastical events as allegory for abuse. i cannot get the scene of linda deadnaming him out of my head. (which is just. what’s happening. like lucifer may not canonically be trans (and their commitment to even making him pan as advertised was :/) but oh my god. we just Have a scene of him being deadnamed and its painfully fucking real.) because on the surface, we’re literally just saying fun biblical facts, hey did you know the devil was also called this, once? but the way lucifer reacts to his name, to linda trying to tell him that no maybe god did love the devil, and the way that builds up until it explodes. violently. and he just. flees. tries to literally cover it up. its a good fucking scene. someone in that writer’s room has been trapped with a therapist getting all their information from your family and not listening to you, i swear, because i don’t know how you could get it that accurately stressful without the experience.

or or or. wing scar scene can we TALK about the wing scar scene ive been dying to talk about the wing scar scene. because now it’s not only us the audience reading between the lines of the metaphor to understand lucifer but chloe herself. the wing scars are, in canon, a result of lucifer choosing to cut them off

(and we gotta at least mention what a radical crossover of self-harm and self-determination that act is, esp combined with him keeping them locked up and later burning them completely, and how later seasons dIDNT GET THE POINT AND JUST GAVE HIM THE WINGS BACK YOU DONT GET IT- (they almost did. too. one of the best moments later is amenadiel finding the many, many wings lucifer has to keep cutting off of himself because they grow back. it’s body horror, it’s one of the few moments where we get to see lucifer’s wings being back as the violation of his self and autonomy that it is, and then they fuck it up by going eh he just needs to accept himself and this thing that will forever serve as a connection to his father.) man i wrote a fic about this thats how bad it wormed into my brain.)

but the wing scars. ohhhh that scene. because the literal explanation isn’t what we’re meant to take away from it. it’s fantastic use of emotional whiplash, straight from sex jokes to chloe’s horror at seeing them. lucifer is quite literally honest about what’s happened, but to chloe, he’s dancing around something incredibly fucked up, hiding behind metaphors. and. well. isn’t he? however casually he tries to dismiss it, the scene still ends with him needing her to back off, don’t touch and don’t ask further questions. and. i mean, we’re talking about the guy who has fucked his way through more than half the city, hesitation over being touched is. not really something we associate with him. and yet. it’s a good fucking scene, the scars themselves are still rattling in my brain, and im never gonna stop thinking about what a loss it was that the show eventually started being all silly all the time rather than using the silliness of the character and his antics and him being Thee Literal Devil to disarm you for moments where we have to look in the eyes that Something Horribly Fucking Wrong Happened To Him.

(even the way lucifer himself is a character he’s constructed to live in means that chloe’s insistence that he’s not and can’t be the devil is true, if not literally, because the devil is both a persona developed in response to and labelled as such by trauma.)

i was never really in the lucifer fandom, per say, didn’t participate much. so i dont know how much my opinions on the show reflect other people’s. but yeah, my core enjoyment of it came from it being willing to lean into how fucked it would be for lucifer to have to exist as he is: to be both rejected and still beholden to his father’s whims. to have to serve as warden for his own mother’s prison. to be the devil and lean into it hard when the other option is to buckle under the weight of that role.

man. they had all the pieces. and then they lit the puzzle on fire.

[blessuswithblogs]

Katsura Hashino is a Big Fat Creep and Other Observations

(for the record all uses of the word “queer” in this post are meant in the academic sense as shorthand for a wide umbrella group of gender and sexual minorities and not as a slur i hope that is evident from my past history and status as Big Gay Bitch Who Loves Girls but let it never be said i don’t cover my ass)

A few weeks ago, Catherine: Full Body Edition or whatever gross subtitle it got was released. Catherine has had a very checkered history as one of those games that is just kind of slimy, though it has endured with a cult following and a surprisingly successful competitive community by way of the game's multiplayer mode where you compete to see who can climb The Dream Sex Tower the best. Honestly, I don't know that much about Catherine because it is difficult to think of a game that repulses me more on a visceral level, but I want to do my due diligence and not talk out my ass. One of Catherine's initial claims to fame was that it was by Atlus Japan, specifically the same people who made the much beloved Persona games. This is evident in the game's art, music, overall style of delivery, and being basically hate speech.

The original Catherine was a greasy, misogynistic mess with some really vile politics about trans people in particular. Deadnaming your own fictional character in the credits is some next level petty malice. Full Body returns with, stupendously, a double down on this ideology that is actually kind of comical in how convoluted it gets in trying to decry the Degenerate Queer Lifestyle. The game adds a scene with Rin, who is apparently a gay crossdresser from space(???????), getting slapped away and running away crying from their love interest after he learns The Terrible Truth. In another game, with a different writing team, this could have been a teachable moment about the destructive consequences of taking too narrow a view of human sexuality and gender expression, but as it stands it's just another tiresome example of Trans Panic with a sheepish admonishment from the other characters that gosh maybe slapping their hand away was a mean thing to do.

So we're already firing on all cylinders here, but the best is yet to come. The bulk of the outcry comes from the addition of a weird "true ending" cutscene where Catherine, who is also from space, goes back in time to make everybody's life better. Or something. This is already pretty stupid on the face of it because its Fucking Time Travel Out of Nowhere, but the scene then depicts a pre-transition Erica, the game's trans character who got deadnamed in the credits the last time. There has been a lot of exceptionally tedious discussion about exactly when this scene takes place in the game's chronology and what it means for Erica, and some brain geniuses have tied their thinkmeats into pretzel shapes to prove definitively that all this means is that she delayed her transition in this Better Timeline, that might not actually be better, because Catherine is weird and selfish, maybe. And. Fine. Sure. Okay. Let's accept that for now. Given the game's previous track record, and continuing insistence on using Erica's pretransition name in the credits even in the rerelease, it is meanspirited at best to show her before her transition at all (many real life trans people would be utterly mortified for such a thing to happen to them) and overall just in poor taste and pretty lousy writing at that because it's so unclear what any of this actually means. Since the game has not yet received an official english localization, the context of this scene is to begin with muddled by amateur translators on the internet all with slightly conflicting interpretations of the scene. It's a fucking mess, by and large.

So I would disagree that this is a fake controversy manufactured by those damnable essjaydubyas. Even with the most charitable interpretation possible, it's still just really sketchy and gross. Erica's english voice actress, who seems to be very fond of the character, has been vocal about her dissatisfaction with the new scenes on twitter and has recently come out to say that the localization team is going to try and take some steps to make things less blatantly hateful. Between this and Jennifer Hale's recent tweet about it being time to grab our pitchforks in response to Activision-Blizzard's mass layoffs, I'm starting to think that voice actresses are pretty cool. I mean honestly I always thought that but we're getting off topic. One of the top competitive Catherine players, who was by all accounts really hyped for the release of Full Body, just straight up said on twitter that he was quitting the game because he couldn't support something like that in good conscience. I don't know if he's remained consistent on this position since, but it was a bold statement, to say the least.

Now, whenever an incident like this happens, the inevitable string of More-Progressive-Than-Thou white boys who watched an anime once and thought the bouncing titties were a little much appears to start pontificating about the cause of such untoward elements in media. And it's basically all just a bunch of Orientalist bullshit. Every time. For whatever reason, people still really love to be racist towards Japanese people because it's still sort of socially acceptable when couched in the language of "oh japan!!! ecks dee" and so the neverending procession of softboi neckbeards declared with confidence that Atlus's continual inclusion of Actual Hate Speech towards LGBTQ+ people was the result of the inscrutable Japanese Mind and its Mysterious, Antiquated Culture. Many mentions of the philosophy of Wa, wherein the nail that stands out gets pounded down, and lots of very lovely psuedointellectual claptrap. Evidently, people just seem to think that queer people don't live in Japan, or that they don't fight just as hard as we do for equal rights and protections under the law. They do live there, and they do fight as hard as we do. Obviously. You fucking imbeciles.

In their quest to clearly illustrate their moral and intellectual superiority to the backward, collectivist Asiatic Peoples, these highly reasonable and enlightened manboys forsook a very important logical principle: Occam's Razor. Sure, you could blame jApAnEsE cUlTuRe for Atlus's impropieties and just conveniently ignore all of the fantastic queer media it has produced in recent years like My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness, Horou Muskou, Nier Automata, etc. Or you could go for the simpler and more logically consistent option: Katsura Hashino is a big fat creep. Who is Hashino, you ask? He is the director of every Persona game since 3, as well as Catherine, and all of these games' gross shit and self-contradictory themes of self-acceptance and rebellion against an unust society (unless you're gay, ew) can probably be traced to him and his gaggle of accomplices. In addition to the fact that Atlus games not by Hashino's team tend to just. not have these problems to nearly as large a degree or even at all, Hashino himself has gone on record saying some really kind of hilariously backwards shit. Most infamously, when asked why in Persona 3 literally all of your social links with girls ended up with Hot Makeout Sessions regardless of like. Previously Committed to Relationships. Hashino simply said he couldn't imagine friendships between boys and girls. So that's where his brain is at. Since subsequent games in the series graciously allowed the player the option to not be a Huge Cheating Bastard, one can assume either his moral development has progressed past early puberty or somebody on the team convinced him this wasn't actually a normal thing to think. Given the man's output, I would say it's probably the latter.

It is because of this man's decisions and behavior that so many people are simply unwilling to give Full Body the benefit of the doubt. The game's director is, quite simply, a well known louse, and not in the endearing, Roger Smith way. Once again, it requires far fewer leaps in logic to assume that Hashino is just being a bigoted creep again than to go through some fuckin galaxy brain Kingdom Hearts-esque dot-connecting to justify it as just a LITTLE BIT bigoted not REALLY SUPER bigoted, or simply blaming the whole ordeal on some strange ineffable property of the Japanese Character. He's a gremlin! An overgrown manchild with a warped view of human interaction and society put in charge of games about exploring those concepts for.... reasons. My bet is that his dad knew somebody and then Persona 3 was successful enough for the rest of Atlus to just go "alright fine let him do it while we do mainline games". Unfortunately, Persona became so popular that the mainline games sort of switched places and became side-projects, at least in the eyes of the Western consumer base (which let's be real is the only perspective that any of these Serious Online Commentators even pretend to care about).

So I would once again caution everyone against just assuming that Japan is some sort of quaint anachronistic country of weird gameshows and backwards social mores. This is both a gross oversimplification of an entire culture and the struggles of their own subgroups and minorities and simply a grand display of lacking self-awareness. Like have you fucking seen the guys in the White House? The preposterous media that gets routinely greenlit on prime time TV, theaters, and digitally? Don't make me laugh. The West has no claim to any sort of progressive superiority to anybody else. The white cishet bubble of comfortable middle class affluence might distort what you see of the rest of the world, but believe me: we got problems too. Big ones. Even the presupposed bastions of Demsoc Virtue like Sweden have an awful track record of discrimination and eugenics. But Dazzlyn that's different, you cry! All of these groups and forces don't represent the entirety of Western culture! Yes. Exactly. Oppression is not culturally bound like cuisine or art. It is a nasty, universal thing that worms its way into everything, and it will use any excuse it can find to murder and exploit. It's against Christian values! It represents a genetic defect that must be purged! It's ostentatious and immature! The list goes on. And every time you giggle and go "oh those silly japanese" you're just being another expression of the same vile ideas.

I'm going to relate some of my own personal experiences, because as a noted Big Gay Bitch Who Loves Girls, I feel like maybe I have some authority on the matter? Just a little? Enough that if I make a well reasoned argument it can't be dismissed out of hand? Let's hope. So, what's the gayest game I've ever played? Final Fantasy XIV Online: A Realm Reborn. Look yeah I know I'm talking about it again but come back this is important. Final Fantasy is a series that has had a lot of LGBTQ+ undertones pretty much since forever, and while they have largely been in keeping with the times in terms of tact and representation (the Crossdressing Cloud debacle is a deeply bizarre, uncomfortable sequence in a lot of ways but there's also some genuine Good Gay Shit in 7 like Cloud's surprisingly cute and genuine date with Barret. I think. It's... it's been a while.), by God, it was at least there, and 13 had honest to god Lesbians, Harold in Fang and Vanille. I don't want to say it has pedigree, but the series has dabbled. XIV continues on the tradition with a vibrant world that's actually got a lot of characters and NPCs that are just incidentally there and kind of gay. The adventurer couple that befriended the Tonberries in Wanderer's Palace, a vendor that appeared in the Rising cosplaying as Minfilia at her wife's behest, a miqote lady bathing in the oasis that lets on she wouldn't mind having cute girls stare at her instead of grabby boys, every horny Elezen in Ishgard, Samson and Guydelot (shoutouts to Lulumi Lumi), and probably more that I've missed. More than that, though, is that because FFXIV is an MMO, it is by necessity a social space, and in my experience it has been one that has gone out of its way to be inclusive to everybody, from the GMs handling reports of abusive behavior right up to the top decision makers who made same sex player marriages a thing just immediately on its implementation and letting boys wear the gold saucer bunny costume too (albeit after quite a bit of pleading). The game's got a huge queer community of which I am kind of part of sort of. It's one of the reasons I keep coming back to it. Hell, they've recently partnered with a pride group in Australia to have an FFXIV float in a parade. I usually turn my nose up at such things as meaningless corporate grandstanding, but it does seem to be more meaningful than two boy pastas getting married or rainbow colored oreos because like. Cheesy as it sounds, it's more than just a brand to a lot of people, it's a place, sometimes the only place, they can go to feel safe and accepted in a community. Having official, vocal support from the dev team means genuinely a lot, I think.

Now, there is one quality about this game of which I am speaking that might strike you as noteworthy: it is Japanese. It's made by Japanese people, in Japan, under a Japanese company. A middle aged Japanese man goes up on stage in Gunbreaker cosplay to speak in Japanese about the upcoming expansion, while a meme obsessed gremlin translates for him. It's not perfect, there are problems, etcetera, why do I even need to qualify that in 2019, when everything sucks, god. But it's better than most things. I hope that it serves as an example to people that even in the supposedly regressive countries of the world, queer communities are still living, fighting, and sometimes even being heard, and that the only thing you're enriching by dismissing them wholesale as socially backwards is your own internet penis. And nobody fucking cares about that you simpleton. I expect 5.0 to be gayer than ever before because they're taming up with Yoko Taro to do a Nier themed raid and by the 12 Warrior of Light Dazzyn Reed is going to kiss 2B or an equivalent model right on the robot lips.