#my brain is telling me to [🤐] but i'm gonna be nice to myself instead & order my ult comfort food for dinner (shrimp w/ lobster sauce)

[farharbour]

wanting to make a vent post but i'm so deeply ashamed of what i've been dealing with lately that it's hard to talk about even vaguely (all i'll say is that the cognitive dissonance of loving my body while also struggling with an ed + dysphoria is insane). anyway i'm trying my best to be kind to myself and remember that bad days don't mean i'm a failure and i'm not unfixable even though i keep falling back on comforting but ultimately self-destructive habits. i know i'll crawl out of the hole i'm in in time, i've done it before, but the last few weeks and days especially have been rough and i don't foresee it getting easier anytime soon for various reasons