#my ask is closed bc of spam but I'm always open to respond to an @ or a reply on a post

[raviniaraven]

I saw this earlier but I actually have time to answer the questions for myself now! I'm Black and transmasc/fluid, pronouns He/They

1. In the US at least, it feels way harder to be percieved as masculine when you're afab. Especially since I'm not very muscular, and curves on Black people seem to be percieved as more feminine. Things that a white guy could do and still pass as a guy (not bind, have long hair or a high voice) make people immediately start misgendering me, and I can't really stand up for myself too much bc people think angry Black people are Threatening.

2. Being transmasc AND Black means I have even less representation than trans men already get in media, and it gets frustrating trying to find that rep and getting either stuff with white trans men or Black cis men (or aliens/fantasy); either way the rep doesn't quite fit for me.

3. Tbh I wanna see more Black trans guys in stories that aren't slice-of-life dramas about The Trans Experience. I want stuff like Hell Followed With Us or The Spirit Bares Its Teeth where the character is transmasc but there is a plot happening other than "man, being trans is tough in this high school". As a person that reads a lot of horror, finding a story where the protagonist is Black is hard enough, but Black and transmasc is even harder. I usually gotta settle for books about white trans guys like those examples I gave, or fantasy races like in Discworld (and the book about trans men there, Monstrous Regiment, still has a bad habit of calling them girls). I've been called unrealistic for wanting a book where the protagonist is like me and the plot isn't just them being sad about their identity, but I'm tired of it always being done in metaphor. I want Black transmasc protagonists.

I'm always open to answer questions about my personal identity and start a dialogue about it; my biggest pet peeve is I grew up in a city where the main practice was We Just Never Talk About It, to the point where I didn't start exploring gender until I was 18/19, and 10 years later I'm still mad about that.

I am reaching out to Black trans, intersex, and people with a societally-deemed "unconventional" relationship to gender!

I am currently working on a future lesson involving gender and sexuality. But for certain things, I am not comfortable speaking for a community when I think it would be better to let them speak for themselves. I too am still learning (so I ask for grace).

What I want to do is either have a post to link to the lesson with your opinions in the tags/notes, and a summarized section of bullet points to show the range of perspectives on what I'm about to ask you. You don't have to answer all of them (or any if you don't want, it's volunteering). You can even send asks that if you don't want to be published, I will not publish. Succinctness will help me read everyone's responses, I will admit 😅

My questions:

1. What's ONE thing you wish nonblack people would understand the most about your experience?

2. How do you think you see or experience the world and media in comparison to white or nonblack people with a shared gender identity?

3. What's a story you'd like to see of yourself in media? Are there current examples?

[confused-android]

Day 13, Todd - Family

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Amanda: hey, what time are you showing up at mom and dad's on tuesday? (7:02PM)

Todd: For what? Why would I go to their house? (7:05PM)

Amanda: …for hannukah? they sent out the invite three weeks ago, asshole. check your fucking email (7:10PM)

Todd switches apps on his phone and opens his Gmail account. The only things in his inbox are bills and spam. He looks in his spam folder, and even checks his agency account, just in case they had, for some reason, found that email address and sent him an email there.

Nothing.

He searches both accounts for his mom's email address, and finds only the last email she'd sent him, before all of this shit went down. Before he'd told Amanda the truth, and she'd told their parents. Before he was on the FBI's Most Wanted list for almost three months. Before they opened the agency.

From: Debora Brotzman <deb.b.brotzman@zmail.com> Date: 4/8/16 2:14 PM To: Todd Brotzman <theodore.brotzman@zmail.com> Subject: Visiting Mandy?

Hey sweetie, it's MOM. Mandy said she's feeling better this week – are you going to visit her? Call me when you get there, if you can!  :-) Dad found a place to give him an interview, even with his knee, so send him some love and prayers! :-) I miss you, you're doing great.

Love, MOM <3 (Mandy says this is a heart, but in case you can't tell, imagine I put a heart there!)

He hadn't called her on that visit – all of his attention was taken up by Dirk, and it felt weirdly vulnerable to call his mother in front of some weird stranger. After that visit to Amanda, he'd been a little too busy to call her during the Patrick Spring case, and then he was afraid calling her would be trackable, and would bring the FBI down on his and Farah's heads. And since getting back to Seattle… Well, he's tried calling his parents a few times, and sent them an email over the high holidays, but they haven't responded.

He knows why, but it's just been easier to pretend that they were busy, to let Amanda send him occasional messages when she visited home, to imagine that they just… hadn't gotten around to responding to his lengthy apology email.

That strategy doesn't seem to be possible, here.

Todd: No email. (7:43PM)

Amanda: you sure? (7:44PM)

Todd: Yeah. (7:46PM)

Amanda doesn't respond and Todd slumps back into the couch, rubbing a hand over his face. This was… this was utterly predictable. He knew this was coming as far back as Amanda's first Pararibulitis attack, and this is what he knew would happen if they ever found out, and he can't pretend that they're just busy any more. He hasn't been invited home for the family Hanukkah celebration. He's not family any more.

This is the natural consequences of his actions, and he isn't even sure if he deserves to feel miserable.

Fuck.

Why does this suck so much? It's not like he was close with them, anyway. Not for a lack of effort on his parents' behalf, of course. That last email from his mom is typical. Just that it's hard to want to spend time with people you hurt, you're hurting, even if they don't know it. He kept hanging with Amanda because she needed him, and he needed to keep trying to make up for how shitty he was, but there was no way that he could ever save up enough to pay his parents back for years of – of stealing from and lying to them. So spending time with them, talking to them beyond occasional five minute phone call and a yearly awkward hanukkah gathering, never really happened.

Does this even matter? Should it matter?

Of course it matters. It's a punishment from his parents, for being awful to them. He's supposed to feel like shit.

Well, that's successful, then.

Dirk and Farah are out at some kind of trivia night thing, and Todd is honestly kind of relieved. He's not sure if he can handle them right now. Not in a bad way. Just that, Farah wants to be comforting but isn't ever really sure how, and Dirk is sure that he knows how to be comforting but rarely succeeds, and Todd always has to pretend that he feels very comforted by whichever of them has drawn the short straw to hang out with him when he's miserable, and he doesn't really feel like pretending right now.

His phone dings.

Amanda: i texted mom. (8:12PM)

Todd: …? (8:14PM)

Amanda: she said it wasn't an accident (8:20PM)

Todd: I figured *shrug emoji* (8:22PM)

Amanda: i feel kind of weird about this, tbh? (8:24PM)

Amanda: like, i'm still pissed at you, but you know that, and we're working on it (8:24PM)

Amanda: and i told mom that and she said that you emailed her for yk and apologized and that she didn't respond (8:24PM)

Amanda: and that sounds shitty of her? (8:25PM)

Amanda: but also you were shitty (8:26PM)

Amanda: like, really shitty (8:26PM)

Todd: I know that. I was shitty. And she doesn't have to respond to me. (8:27PM)

Amanda: it just feels weird bc she's our mom (8:31PM)

Todd: Yeah. (8:32PM)

Todd: I'm… having some feelings about it. (8:32PM)

Amanda: well i guess i'm proud of you for having feelings? idk (8:33PM)

Amanda: do you want me to not go? (8:37PM)

Todd: No! (8:37PM)

Todd: No, no. Go spend Hanukkah with mom and dad. I'm bummed, but I'll be fine.  (8:37PM)

Todd: I'll try emailing them again next Yom Kippur, I guess. That always seemed to mean something to dad. (8:39PM)

Amanda: that could work (8:40PM)

Amanda: idk (8:40PM)

Todd: I don't know either, if it helps. This sucks, but I knew it was coming, I guess. (8:42PM)

Amanda: :/  (8:45PM)

Todd: :/ (8:46PM)

Todd drops his phone on the coffee table and stands up, shoves his hands through his hair, and sits right back down. Then he stands up again, because while he has no idea what to do with himself, he at least wants to not know what to do somewhere other than the couch. He looks in the fridge without taking anything out of it, contemplates and rejects the idea of a shower, and then grabs the pipe and lighter from his dresser and climbs out the kitchen window and on to the fire escape. He leans up against the side of the building and shivers as a gust of December air hits his neck and seeps in through the fabric of his hoodie.

"Fuck," he says, voice lost in the night, and cups the bowl in one hand and lights it with the other. He takes a long inhale. The smoke floods his lungs and he tops it off with clean, cold air, then holds the breath for a beat before exhaling. He lets the smoke drift away and sits with the scent lingering in his nose before taking a second hit, and then a third. He taps the ash out through the grate next to him, shoves the pipe and lighter back into his hoodie pocket, and thumps his head back against the brick.

It's hard to not feel like a complete piece of shit when your parents have disowned you. Like, the people who are supposed to love and care for you no matter what just don't want to see you for the holidays? That's pretty bad.

He knows that it's not like he doesn't deserve it – he did a horrible thing. Like, a really horrible thing. The kind of thing that gets you disowned by your parents. But it… it really sucks. This whole situation sucks. And it's a situation he made, which means that he sucks.

It's cold outside. Not quite freezing, but not that far above it, either, and his hoodie isn't quite cutting it. He doesn't go inside, though. If he goes inside, he'll check his phone and reread the conversation with Amanda, and have to start thinking about it all over again. So he just stays on the fire escape, buries his chin in the collar of his hoodie, and tries to think about anything other than his parents choosing to ignore him, and not see him for the holidays.

"Fuck," he says again. And that seems to sum it up.

Todd loses track of how long he spends on the fire escape, but it's long enough that he's not really cold any more, just trembling slightly, when the door to the apartment bangs closed.

"Shit," Dirk swears, his voice drifting through the window. "It's bloody freezing in here."

"The window's open," Farah adds, baffled, and then says, "Todd?"

"Todd!" Dirk echoes, his voice a little louder than hers.

"I'm out –" Todd coughs, then tries again. "I'm out here! Sorry!"

He can hear some bustling and movement from inside, and then a long leg sticks through the open window and taps around, looking for the floor, and is then quickly followed by a body. Dirk steps out of the way for Farah, who is altogether more graceful when exiting the building, and they both look down at him, separate expression of confusion on their faces.

"Why are you out here?" Dirk asks bluntly.

Farah shakes her head and puts on hand on Dirk's shoulder, asks, "how long have you been out here?"

Todd shrugs. "Maybe since nine? I'm not sure. What time is it?"

"It's almost ten," Farah says, and crouches down in front of him. "What the hell, Todd?"

"I'm sorry," he says, too tired to really get riled up, or even defensive. "I didn't know what time it was. I left my phone inside."

"Will you, um. Come inside now?" Farah tries, and looks up at Dirk for back-up. Dirk has a funny expression on his face, though, and steps around both of them. He sinks to the floor next to Todd and wiggles up close, until they're pressed together at the shoulder and hip. "Dirk!" Farah exclaims.

"Come on," Dirk says, and gestures to the floor on the other side of Todd. She opens her mouth like she's going to object again, but then something on Todd's face, or on Dirk's face, seems to speak to her, and she scoots back a bit and tips off her heels and down to sitting. Farah holds still for a long moment, steeling herself with a deep breath, then presses against Todd's other side. The brick at his back and the metal grate under his ass are still cold, but his two best friends are warm on either side of him. For a moment, at least, he feels like he has family.

------------------

Link to: day one, Farah - Youth day two, Farah - Dance day three, Farah - Gore day four, Farah - GNC fashion day five, Farah - AU day six, Farah - Family (to be written) day seven, Farah - Pride (to be written) day eight, Todd - Youth (to be written) day nine, Todd - Dance (to be written) day ten, Todd - Gore day eleven, Todd - GNC Fashion day twelve, Todd - AU

prompt list

[little-owly]

(1/?)Ok, I'm sorry this is gonna spam your inbox, I wanna write you a story based on the mat//pat picture you drew but I need to be on anon... Hope you like it!

HECK OH MY GOSH ITS ADORABLE!! I EDITED IT TO FIT HERE but as a suggestion -- and i think you had tumblr hit you with an ask limit bc it stopped so suddenly, using the submit would be much easier and you can be anon if you just send it to me and let me know!! BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN AAAAA I LOVE FICS WHERE I OR MY BLOG IS MENTIONED!! SO MUCH!!***Matthew was crying again. He'd been doing that on and off for the past week since everything fell to pieces, and nothing seemed to help him. His latest theory had once again turned him into the joke of the Internet, this time on an impossibly larger scale, and he was receiving constant abuse with almost every comment on his videos. To make matters worse, he was scheduled to make an appearance at a convention the very same week it happened, and several people thought it would be funny to start throwing food at him! A long bubble bath had done nothing to remove the stains now marring his self-confidence, and now here he was, crying in bed into his Peepachu toy, the last safe thing he had left in his life... He barely heard the knocking on the front door, and even when he did, it took all his strength to drag himself over to open it - but he was glad he managed it. His good friend Mark was standing there, looking extremely worried about him. "Oh, h-hey Mark. What's up?" Mat mumbled, trying not to sound as exhausted as he felt and failing miserably. "I saw what happened at the con today, and I wanted to see how you were doing, I had no idea it'd gotten this bad..." Mark was looking at him with such concern, concern Mat was sure he didn't deserve anymore, and suddenly he had collapsed into Mark's arms and was sobbing into the other man's shoulder helplessly, being held tight by strong arms that felt like they'd never let go... "Look, why don't you come stay with me for a few days, buddy? You could use a friend, and honestly, you don't like you've been taking care of yourself..." Mark's voice was low and soothing, and Mat found he couldn't think of anything he'd like more. Five minutes and one small packed bag later - he didn't need much, Mark always let his friends borrow his clothes whenever they were staying over - and they were headed back, the radio playing quietly in the background. Mark didn't say much on the journey back, somehow understanding that Mat wasn't up to casual chit-chat right now. Mat spent not only the car ride there, but the next few days in forlorn silence, simply biting at his thumbnail to try and soothe himself - having his thumb up at his mouth was oddly comforting, but he didn't have the energy to think about why right now. The only thing he could bring himself to do was dig through the Internet and try to find something, anything, positive that had been said about him - a difficult and nearly fruitless search. How could so many people suddenly hate him all at once? He even resorted to digging through the more explicit fanart that he usually avoided, desperate to find anyone who had even a scrap of fondness left for him... That was how he stumbled upon the odd picture. He'd never tried to brave a kink blog before, but his online wanderings had brought him to one that day, and he was feeling so low that he didn't think it could get much worse. The blog had only mentioned him a few admittedly, that had felt nice. But he started to imagine himself in the picture, being small and cared for, having someone help him whenever things felt too hard. If he closed his eyes, he could picture himself perched on the soft plastic, knees tucked up to his chest, a voice that sounded just like Mark's telling him what a good boy he was... "Mat? What are you doing?" Wait, that WAS Mark's voice! Mat squeaked in shock and opened his eyes quickly, dropping his phone from the fright. Mark bent down to pick it up before Mat had the chance, and saw what he was looking at. "Oh boy, you found THAT blog..." He chuckled. "Yeah, I've seen it too, it's got some pretty unusual stuff..." "Do you... Think it's weird?" Mat whispered, heart suddenly pounding in fear. If Mark realised he liked one of the pictures and decided he was too weird... "Not really, I kinda like it - I'm not into everything, but the stuff about me taking care of some of my friends... It's kinda nice, I sorta like the idea of taking care of a little, I guess... Sorry, I know that's probably too much information. What about you?" Mark asked quickly, now blushing slightly. Mat found he suddenly didn't have words, so instead just showed Mark the 'potty picture' as he called it, once again lifting his thumb to his mouth. Mark looked confused for a moment, but then his eyes lit up in delight, and he smiled at Mat in a way he usually reserved for his younger fans. "Do you wanna try and use the potty, Matty?" Mark's voice was soft and playful, and a little more condescending than usual, as though he wasn't sure whether he should make this a joke or take it seriously. Personally, Matty wanted him to talk like that forever! Without thinking, he began to respond to the question with a shake of his head, but then Mark brushed a hand across his tummy and he realised he maybe possibly hadn't gone pee in quite a while, and he quickly switched to a nod. Mark smiled even bigger at that, and quickly pulled him to his feet, leading him into the bathroom then stopping at the door. "OK Matty, how do you wanna do this?" He asked carefully. Matty looked at him in confusion and opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but his eye suddenly caught the little training potty sitting on the floor next to the big potty, almost the same as the one in the potty picture! Mark was explaining something about a new skit video about childproofing his house, but Matty wasn't really listening

[stiles-o-dylan24]

Alright baybee chapter 2 lesssgggoooo also no idea what happened to my scheduled posts so just doing these manually sorry for the spam

Dustin asking if she has cancer always gets me😂

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I LOVE how nurturing Liv is🥺

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I love how Lucas' clawback is always 'bite me'🤣

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HA and then Liv says it🤣 queen

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Olivia Frances🥺 I love it. Also love that she doesn't want to get in trouble because of her mama.

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Mike's plan is the dumbest thing ever, fucking Michael I swear

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Liv being the best big sister ever already I love it!

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🥺stop it rn Dustin thinking she doesn't want him as a brother, GIVE HIM ANOTHER HUG NOW PLEASE!

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I just snorted at Liv calling Steve Steven, it's like I could HEAR it🤣

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he's so proud of that C-Minus I swear

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Liv just ready to throw down to make Tommy shut up just made me smile so big dude🤣

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the fact that carol sing songs like a whore in church ding ding ding and Liv wants to launch herself at her now AND THEN STEVE JUST KNOWS AND TELLS HER QUIETLY TO STOP it's giving Dylan tweeting 'behave' and breaking twitter energy and I'm here for it

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'Stuff it, zitface' I swear to jeebus Liv and Summer would have been besties and I wish there was some alternate universe where that could have been possible😭

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okay but I love the fact that Liv, Nance and Jonathan would have been close before because of the kids🥺

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'wait back this train up' I fucking love her

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Lucas was such a little shit to El this season, like I get his friend is missing but he was so mean whenever he talked. like stop yelling at her all the time my guy

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Lucas being more focused on her name and Dustin being more focused on the danger is always so funny to me

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'Oh my damn' I probably shouldn't have laughed as loud as I did but I could just picture it all so perfectly with how that scene goes so brava my love that was perfect🤣

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dude that dinner was amazing 😂 the chaos of mike snorting into his milk dustin hitting the table to make sure everyone looked at him and then liv just saying they're leaving when her mom never actually agreed she could go was hilarious 🤣

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I'm giving liv so many hugs for having to just be there on the sideline right now, knowing full well what Nancy is walking into with Steve 😭

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No Nancy we don't say no to a Carol beating we say YES thankyew

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oooohhh Robert we don't want to do that

oh Liv🥺 yes I'm fully on board with you sneaking out to go to STEVE.

The fact he opens the door because he could just sense her😭 my heart

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Liv thinking she won and Steve is just casually sitting in the chair smirking like he's been there for a year waiting 🤣 perfect

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zitface, dipstick 😂 I can't wait to see what else she calls him

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didn't have to wait long🤣 wasn't a new name but it was comedic timing and I love it

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I like that Steve included Liv in the pushing in the pool but ugh my heart when she must have felt the way she did and gets out😭

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I love their little moment in his room and her saying she's grabbing a shirt and him responding with she never returned his others🥰 Liv is so real for that bc I bet they're so comfy and smell amazing

such a good chapter babe!! onto the next🩵

Always The Babysitter - Chapter Two: The Weirdo on Maple Street

Author:@harringtonstilinski​ Characters: Steve Harrington x Olivia Henderson(OC) (eventually) Word Count: 5,003 Warnings: lil’ bit of angst, lil’ bit of fluff, flashback Smut: no | yes; A/N: Hi, friends! We got a small flashback in this chapter! It's going to be italicized. If you like this chapter, please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox. As always, read at your own risk and enjoy 😊

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The boys and I brought this scared, soaked girl back to the Wheeler’s basement without Mr. or Mrs. Wheeler knowing. Score One.

I watched as this little girl breathed so heavily that I thought I’d have to give her a brown paper bag to breathe in. I was sitting next to her, arm wrapped around her shoulders. We had to convince her that I wasn’t a bad person and that she was in good hands with us, especially me. 

The boys looked at me, expectantly. I rolled my eyes and looked at her profile, beginning my questioning. “Sweetie, is there a number we can call for your parents?”

She looked at me, fear in her eyes.

Dustin then asked the dumbest questions alive, “Where’s your hair? Do you have cancer?”

“Dustin!” I scolded.

“Did you run away?” Lucas asked.

“Are you in some kind of trouble?” Mike asked.

“Is that blood?”

“Boys!” I exclaimed, quietly. “You’re freaking her out!”

“She’s freaking me out!”

“Lucas!”

“I bet she’s deaf,” Dustin piped up. He looked at her and clapped her in her face, causing her and I to jump back. “Not deaf.”

“Oh, my god, you’re so fucking stupid,” I sighed. “Boys, that’s enough. She’s just scared and cold. Mike, do you have anything she can borrow? Clothing wise?”

He turned around and went to the basket that was perched on top of the dryer, bringing back some of his dad’s sweatpants and a sweatshirt. As he did this, thunder clapped, making this scared little girl jump and close her eyes. I held her tightly, but gently, quietly telling her that it was going to be alright.

Handing the clothes to her, Mike said, “These are clean, okay?”

She took them from his hands, brushing the soft fabric on her face. She set them down on my lap, looking me in the eyes before brushing off my jacket that I had given her and standing, reaching for the hem of her shirt.

The boys started to exclaim their no’s as I jumped up, placing my hands on her shoulders. “There’s a bathroom right over there,” I said, her and I locking eyes. “I’ll walk you over there and you change into these, okay? I’ll stand right outside the bathroom door, okay?”

She nodded before I walked her over to the bathroom, closing the door behind her when she gave me a curt nod. She quickly opened it, though, the fear very much evident in her eyes. “No.”

I smiled and quietly said, “She speaks. How about this; we leave it cracked and I’ll turn my back so that the boys don’t see, okay? I’ll still be standing right here. When you’re done changing, just reach through and tap me on the shoulder to let me know you’re done. Sound good?” I smiled at her to show her that I wasn’t dangerous and that she could trust me.

“Yes,” she said.

“Okay,” I whispered, smiling softly. I pulled the door until there was a decent sized opening before I turned around, seeing the boys eyeing me. 

“This is mental,” Dustin said. 

“At least she can talk,” I said.

“She said no and yes,” Lucas said. “Mike’s three year old sister can say more.”

“Yes, I’m aware that Holly can say more, but we don’t know what she’s been through or where she came from,” I retorted.

“Liv, she tried to get naked,” Dustin said.

“Maybe she doesn’t know any better,” I suggested.

“There’s something seriously wrong with her,” Lucas said. “Like, wrong in the head.”

“She just went like–” Dustin said, demonstrating the girl almost taking her shirt off… while knocking his own hat off his head.

“I bet she escaped from Pennhurst.”

“Oh, my god, Lucas,” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“From where?” Mike asked.

“The nuthouse in Kerley County,” Lucas said.

Dustin and I looked at each other before we both looked back at Lucas and said, “Got a lot of family there?”

“Bite me. Seriously, though, think about it. That would explain her shaved hair and why she’s so crazy.”

“Why she went like–” Dustin, again, did the motion of her almost taking off her shirt.

“She’s an escapee is the point,” Lucas went on. “She’s probably a psycho.”

“Oh, bite me, Lucas,” I said, irritated at this point.

“We should’ve never brought her here!”

“So, you just wanted to leave her out in that storm?” I asked, arms crossed. 

Looking at me, Lucas said, “Yes! We went out to find Will, not another problem.”

“I think we should tell Mike’s mom,” Dustin said.

“I second that.”

“Who’s the crazy one now?” I exclaimed.

“How is that crazy?”

“Because I promised Hopper that you three wouldn’t go out tonight,” I explained. 

“So?” Lucas asked.

“So, if you tell Mrs. Wheeler, guess who gets in trouble with the police again? Me. Olivia Frances Henderson. I can’t do that to my mom. Not again. Plus, our homes will become Alcatraz, and you three will never find Will again. So, here’s the plan…” I thought for a moment about the best possible outcome. “Mike, can she stay here tonight?”

He looked at me and nodded in agreement, adding, “In the morning, she sneaks around my house, goes to the front door and rings my doorbell. My mom will answer and know exactly what to do. She’ll send her back to Pennhurst or wherever she comes from. We’ll be totally in the clear! And tomorrow night, we go back out. And this time, we find Will.”

I looked at Mike like that was the dumbest thing I’d ever heard before I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, seeing the girl and smiling a bit. “All done?”

She nodded, handing me the wet yellow shirt she was wearing before. I put it on the washer, fully intending on grabbing it to take home with me. I knew for a fact that my mom would ask questions, but I would just make up some lie on how I got the shirt and know that she’d believe me.

I helped Mike set up camp for her before I turned around and started heading up the stairs with Lucas and Dustin, fully intending on taking them back home before we all stopped and watched Mike with the girl for a moment.

“You really think she’s psycho?” Dustin asked.

“She seems really sweet,” I said. “She’s like the sister I’ve always wanted.”

“Wouldn’t want her in my house,” Lucas said, continuing his journey up the basement stairs. 

Dustin sighed before looking at me, saying, “Mental.”

“Shut up,” I said, pushing him up the stairs. I looked back at Mike, quickly asking him to keep me updated on her. I was really worried that something or someone bad was after her.

I wanted to protect her as much as I could. And I was going to try my hardest to make sure that she was safe.

~~~

“Dustin, have you talked to Mike this morning?” I asked, standing in the doorway of his bedroom, hands on either side of the door frame.

He looked at me, backpack in hand and shook his head. “No. I’ll ask him at school, though.” He almost looked sad.

I tapped on the doorframe, lips scrunched to the side. “Okay.” I took two steps away before going back to my original spot. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

Dustin nodded his head, looking down. “I know.”

Walking into his room, I scrunched my brows. “What’s wrong?”

Looking back up, our eyes met and the sadness I thought I saw before was evident. “Do you really wish you had a sister instead of a brother?”

I took a deep breath, pulling him into a hug. “No. I don't. I mean, a little sister would've been nice, but I love that I have you. I wouldn’t have it any other way. We’ve been through hell and back together.”

He hugged me back, tightly. “I love you, Liv.”

“Love you, too, Dusty.”

“Livvie! Phone!”

I sighed, pulling back from the hug. “One of these days, I’m really gonna give her a piece of my mind with that nickname.”

Dustin chuckled as I walked into my room, picking up the phone. “Yeah?”

“Can you help me study before Kimensky’s test this morning? I know you passed her class last year.”

I sighed into the receiver. “Yeah, sure. I’m leaving here in just a few minutes. Meet me by the front doors.”

“You’re the best,” Nancy smiled. I could hear it on her end of the line.

“I know,” I said, hanging up the phone. “Dustin! We have to leave!”

~~~

I met Nancy as promised at the front of the school, spotting her notecards in her hand. Barb met up with us as I took the cards from Nancy’s hand. We walked into the school as I read the cards aloud. “When alpha particles go through gold foil, they become..?” I flipped the card over, looking at the answer on the back.

“Unoccupied space,” Nancy answered.

“Very good,” I said. “A molecule that can–” I was very rudely interrupted by Steve snatching the cards from my hands. “Steven!”

“I think she’s studied enough,” Steve said, looking at the cards.

“Unlike you, she wants to pass,” I retorted.

“I passed,” he said. “With a C-minus.”

“Uh huh, sure.”

“Well, she’s got this. She doesn’t need to worry. Now, on to more important matters.”

“And what the hell could be more important than a Chem test?” I asked.

“My dad has left town on a conference and Mom has gone with him ‘cause you know she doesn’t trust him,” Steve explained.

“Good call,” Tommy H. said. 

“Shut up, Tommy,” I said.

“Make me, Henderson.”

I lurched forward at him, Steve stopping me before I could reach him.

“Listen,” Steve said, looking me dead in the face before looking at Nancy. “So, are you in?”

“In for what?” she asked.

“No parents? Big house?” Carol said.

I looked at her and sarcastically said, “Oh! You mean a party!”

“Ding, ding, ding!”

I guess Steve knew by the look on my face that I wanted to launch myself at her because he said quietly, “Liv, stop.”

“It’s Tuesday,” Nancy said.

“It’s Tuesday,” Tommy mocked.

“Stuff it, zitface,” I warned.

“Come on,” Steve said. “It’ll be lowkey. It’ll just be us. What do you say? Are you in or are you out?” He looked at me, asking the same thing with his eyes.

I looked over at Nancy, watching her think it over before I looked at Barb, who looked quite uncomfortable before Carol piped up, saying something about “Look,” with her eyes casted in front of her.

Nancy, Barbra and I looked behind us and what I saw broke my heart. 

“Oh, that’s depressing,” Steve said. 

I looked at him with his hands on his hips and shoved his arm. “Shut up, Steve.” Looking back at Jonathan Byers, Will’s older brother, we all watched as he pinned something to the corkboard. 

“Should we say something, Liv?” Nancy asked.

The three of us were all mutual friends because of our little brothers being friends.

“I don’t think he speaks,” Carol said.

“How much you wanna bet he killed him?” Tommy asked.

“Shut up,” Steve whispered.

I looked at Steve before walking over to Jonathan, not realizing Nancy followed behind me. “Hey, Byers.”

Jonathan looked at me then Nancy, saying, “Oh, hey.”

Feeling Nance behind me, I turned and looked at her for a moment before saying, “We just wanted to say that we’re sorry about everything.”

When Jonathan looked over our heads at the group behind us, I turned and looked at them, seeing that they all four looked very disinterested in the event that was unfolding.

“Everyone’s thinking about you,” Nancy said. 

I looked at her, brows scrunched and eyes narrowed a tiny bit.

“It sucks,” she continued.

“Yeah,” Jonathan said.

After a couple seconds, Nancy said, “I’m sure he’s fine.”

That’s when I looked at her incredulously. 

“He’s a smart kid.” When the bell rang, she looked almost relieved. “I have to go. Chemistry test.”

“Yeah,” Jonathan smiled.

After she said her good luck, and he said his thanks, I looked at him and whispered, “I’ll do whatever it takes to help you and your mom find him. I won’t sleep or eat until he’s safe in Hawkins again.”

Jonathan smiled and said his thanks before walking out of the front doors to the school.

I stood there for a moment before hearing my name being called by Steve, a mocking of my name being followed by his two henchmen. Rolling my eyes, I turned and walked towards the group, shouldering Tommy H before walking straight to class as the PA system came on overhead with an announcement.

“Attention, faculty and students. At 8pm tonight, there will be an assembly on the football field in support of Will Byers and his family. All are encouraged to attend. Volunteer sign-ups for search parties are still available in the front office.”

~~~

“Slow down!” I yelled, pedaling as fast as I could behind Dustin and Lucas. They said I needed to follow them to Mike’s house and it was pertaining to the girl we’d found in the woods the night prior.

Once we got off the bikes, we rushed upstairs to Mike’s room, where I slowly closed the door behind the boys and I. “Mike, what is this about?” I asked, walking around my brother and the Sinclair boy.

“Are you out of your mind?” Lucas asked.

“Just listen to me,” Mike said.

Lucas repeated himself before Mike said that she knew about Will.

“Wait, back this train up,” I said. I looked at the girl, who Mike told me is named El, which was short for Eleven. Squatting in front of her, I looked her dead in the eyes and asked, “You know about Will Byers? Their friend that went missing a couple of nights ago?”

A picture was placed in front of my face, obstructing my view of El. “She pointed at him,” Mike said. “She knew he was missing, I could tell.”

“You could tell?” Lucas and I asked, me on the more gentle side.

“Just think about it,” Mike continued. “You really think it was a coincidence that we found her on Mirkwood?”

“The same place where Will disappeared?” I wondered.

“And she said that bad people are after her.”

I looked back at her, one of my intuitions being correct. Looking back at Mike and standing back on my feet, I asked, “Do you think these bad people could’ve taken Will?”

Mike nodded at me. “I think she knows what happened to him.”

Arms crossed over his chest, Lucas inquired, “Then why doesn’t she tell us?” before walking over towards El, asking, “Do you know where he is?” Putting his hands on her shoulders, he exclaimed, “Do you know where Will is?!”

“Lucas, that’s enough!” I said, pulling him off of her. “She’s already scared enough as it is!”

“She should be scared!” Lucas said, looking at me. Putting his sights back on El, he said, “If you know where he is, tell us!” Not waiting for her to answer, if she even wanted to answer, Lucas turned around back to Mike and said, “This is nuts. We have to take her to your mom.”

“No!” Mike said. “Eleven said telling any adult would put us in danger.”

“What kind of danger?” Dustin asked, a little bit of fear in his voice.

“Her name is Eleven?” Lucas asked.

“El for short,” Mike answered.

“Mike, what kind of danger?” Dustin asked again, more urgency in his voice.

“Danger danger.” He put two fingers out with his thumb up, imitating a gun, putting it to Dustin’s forehead before moving his hand to Lucas, who smacked his hand away.

“No, no, no,” Lucas said. “We’re going back to Plan A. We’re telling your mom.” He moved to the door, opening it before it magically closed again. He did this a couple more times before the door locked, and we all looked over to El, who had a stream of blood coming from her nose.

“No,” she said.

“Oh my damn,” I whispered.

~~~

How I ended up back at the Wheeler’s dinner table will forever be a mystery to me because I don’t even know how I ended up here. What was even more of a mystery was how I ended up sitting next to Nancy with her looking at me expectantly.

“Something wrong with the meatloaf?” Mrs. Wheeler asked.

“Oh, no,” Dustin said. “I had two bologna sandwiches for lunch.” Placing my palm to my forehead, I whispered, “Oh, my god.”

“It’s delicious, Mommy,” Nancy said.

I snickered at that because hearing Nancy call her mom Mommy was quite hilarious, considering what she and I were about to do next.

“Thank you, sweetie,” Mrs. Wheeler said.

Nancy and I locked eyes for a moment, hers telling me to say something about leaving. I cleared my throat, ready to begin my explanation. “Mrs. Wheeler, there’s a special assembly thing tonight for Will at the school field. I’ll be driving–”

“Why am I just hearing about this?” she asked, more so at Nancy.

“I thought you knew,” Nancy said.

“I told you, I don’t want you out after dark until Will is found.” “I know, I know, but it'll be super weird if we’re not there. I mean, everyone’s going.”

Mrs. Wheeler sighed and looked at me. “Just make sure she’s back by 10. Why not take the boys, too?”

Sounds of disagreements came from said boys, causing Nancy and myself to look at them, although I’m the only one that knows why.

“Don’t you think you should be there? For Will?”

Mike almost choked on his milk, which caused Dustin to bang on the table. I looked over Mrs. Wheeler’s head to see what caused Mike’s reaction. El.

“Sorry,” Dustin said. “Spasm.”

“Nance, ready to go?” I asked.

~~~

As I sat in the driver’s seat of my mom’s car, I looked at Steve’s front door after Nancy had asked me to pull the car over. I really wish I was at home, reading a good book… or watching some show with my Mom.

“What are we doing here?” Barb asked, leaning forward from the backseat. “Liv, can you take me to the field?”

“You promised that you’d go,” Nancy said, shutting down Barb’s question. “We’re gonna have a great time.” “He just wants to get in your pants.”

I looked down at my lap at Barb’s words, knowing that it was partially true. Ever since Steve became King of Hawkins High, he's had a number of conquests. 

“No, he doesn’t,” Nancy giggled.

“Nance,” Barb and I said. “Seriously.”

“He invited you to his house,” Barb added. She tapped me on the shoulder, asking me to convince Nancy to have me turn around.

I sighed, and looked at Nancy. “Look, his parents aren’t home. I know you’re not this stupid.”

“Tommy H. and Carol are gonna be there,” Nancy countered.

I turned to face her a little more, my hand on the steering wheel. “You’re gonna trust those two horny ass losers? They’ve been having sex since, like, the 7th grade! It’s always an orgy with them.”

“Which is why I want you there, Liv! You can be my guardian angel,” she smiled.

“Before or after I beat the hell outta Carol?”

Nancy chuckled at that. “No. Just make sure I don’t get drunk and do anything stupid.” She took off her shirt, and I couldn’t help notice a new piece of clothing on her.

I looked back at Barb, who was already eyeing me. We both looked back at Nancy, asking, “Is that a new bra?”

“No.” 

I rolled my eyes, taking the keys out of the ignition. “Let’s go.”

The three of us got out of the car, and started walking up to Steve’s house. Seeing those two red doors brought back a floodgate of memories that I had forgotten about. There was the time in seventh grade when my dad packed up and left.

“Robert?” Mom called. “Robert, what are you doing?”

I poked my head out of my room, hearing my dad packing things up. I walked into the hallway to get a better listen, and that’s when I heard my dad sigh. 

“I can’t keep doing this, Claudia,” he said. “The kids, this house, living here in Hawkins. I can’t keep doing this.”

“What about the kids?” mom asked. “What’s wrong with the kids?”

“Olivia is constantly in trouble, Dustin’s condition! It’s too much for one guy to handle.”

“That’s why we work together, Robert. We’re a team.”

I ducked behind a table in the hallway at seeing my dad exit his bedroom. “We stopped being a team the moment Olivia started sneaking out.”

Seeing my mom in the hallway now, tears started to spring in my eyes. “Are you saying all of this is Olivia’s fault? That’s why you’re leaving?”

“Mews, go away,” I whispered, feeling the small kitten stand on my leg.

“She’s exactly why I’m leaving,” dad said. “I can’t keep leaving in the middle of work to pick her up from the station. It’s too much.”

I didn’t want to hear anything else as I stood up and quietly made my way to the kitchen, knowing that neither parent would see me in there from the front door. Once my dad left, I ran back to my room to open my window before grabbing a jacket.

I made my way to Steve’s house, going right to his front door. I knew where the spare key was and I also knew that he’d be up. Unlocking the door, I wiped a tear from my cheek. 

When the door opened before me, Steve and I locked eyes before he pulled me into a hug. He led me to his bedroom, where I explained what happened with my parents.

“It’s not your fault,” Steve whispered. “He’s not leaving because of you. He’s making it seem like it because he’s wanting to make you the target for all his problems.”

“But me getting in trouble isn’t helping,” I quietly sobbed.

“Probably not,” he said. “But your dad’s an asshole anyway. Don’t listen to him.” I sniffled before looking into his chocolate eyes. “I need to be back before my mom notices I’m gone.”

“Sleep here. You can sneak out before my parents wake up.”

I was shaking out of my memories when the doors opened, Steve standing on the other side. “Hello, ladies.”

~~~

Making my way outside, I found a cigarette and a beer can, picking both of them up. “Thank god for beer,” I said, cracking it open before chugging the whole can.

Everyone else came back outside, Steve with a knife in his hand. I watched as he picked up a beer can, a small smile making its way onto my face. I picked up another can, handing it out to him. “Shotgun race?”

“You’re on,” he smiled, poking a hole into the bottom of my can.

“One… two… three,” I said, cracking my can open and chugging the disgusting amber liquid until there was nothing left in the can. Thinking I had won, I smiled big before I saw Steve sitting down in the pool chair, a victorious smile on his lips. “Oh, shut up.”

“Have fun thinking you won?”

I sighed and sat in the chair next to him. Shrugging, I said, “So what? I’m a little rusty.”

“Are you sure you’re rusty and not just new to drinking?” Tommy laughed.

I looked at Steve and asked, “You’re really friends with this dipstick?”

Steve laughed, handing me the lighter so that I could light my cigarette, which I happily did so… before coughing up a lung.

“Oh, little baby can’t handle–” Carol started.

Holding the stick between two of my fingers, I pointed it at her and said, “Quit while you’re ahead, wannabe,” before Tommy grabbed her and pretended to throw her into the heated pool.

Trying to diffuse the situation, Nancy asked Steve, “Was that supposed to impress me?”

“You’re not?” Steve and I responded.

“You’re both a cliche, you do realize that?”

Sitting on the side of the chair, I looked pointedly at her and said, “You are a cliche. What, with your good grades and band practice.”

She laughed and said, “You know I’m not in band.”

“Okay, party girl,” I chuckled, standing. I motioned at Steve to hand me the knife as I grabbed a can of beer before handing them both out to her. “Show me how it’s done, then.”

“Okay,” she said, almost excited.

Noticing Barb from behind her, I looked at her, watching as she shook her head after making eye contact with me.

Nance stood, Steve telling her where to make the hole. She did so as Tommy said, “Yeah, she’s smart, you douche.”

“Hey, Tommy,” I said. “You got a little something right– oh, wait. That’s just your face.”

Chuckles from Steve and Barb were heard for a moment before I heard Steve say “Chug, chug, chug” from behind me. I turned and watched Nancy chug her beer before tossing her can on the ground, Tommy cheering for her.

“Barb, you wanna try?” Nancy asked.

I looked between both of them, trying to decide if I should step in or not since this wasn’t exactly Barb’s scene. She tried protesting, but of course, Nancy talked her into doing it. Steve, too. That wasn’t the Steve I remembered.

Barb stood and went to poke a hole with the knife, but the blade slipped off the can and gave her a pretty bad cut, which Tommy chuckled at. That was my queue to step in.

I walked up to her, holding her hand. “Yikes. Water, paper towels and a first aid kit, pronto.”

“Where’s your bathroom?” Barb asked, looking over my head at Steve.

Standing, Steve said, “Oh, it’s-it’s, uh, down past the kitchen, to the left.” There’s the Steve I know.

Barb gave her thanks, and went inside. I really wanted to make sure she was okay before everyone started drinking again.

“You okay?” Steve asked.

I hummed, and looked up at him. “Yeah. I’m fine.” Looking back at the sliding glass doors, I sighed. “Sister instinct is kicking in. I wanna make sure she’s okay.”

Before he could give his answer, if he even wanted to give me an answer, we both turned at the sound of someone squealing. My question was answered before I could even think of the question; Tommy pushed Carol in the pool, who said, “Oh, my god. What the hell, Tommy?”

He jumped in after her as Steve put his arm around my shoulders, guiding me slowly to the edge of the pool before pushing both Nancy and I in. When I came back up for air, I looked at Steve, and watched as he jumped in.

When he surfaced, I splashed water at him, exclaiming, “I’m gonna kill you!”

He splashed me back, and it felt like old times; us playing in the pool… before he remembered that Nancy was in the pool, too. As they were having their fun, I got out, announcing that I was going to get us all some towels.

After I had gone inside to retrieve the towels, I wrapped up in mine, checking on Barb, who seemed to be doing okay.

“I just… really want to go home,” she said.

“I’ll take you home, don’t worry,” I said, rubbing her arm. “That is after I put on some dry clothes.” I chuckled, but it didn’t seem to reach her ears, so I walked to the back patio, putting the towels on one of the chairs.

When everyone else got out and wrapped up in their towels, we headed back inside, where Carol said that she was freezing, and Tommy mentioned that Steve’s parents had a fireplace in their bedroom.

“You’re cleaning the sheets,” Steve said. Walking to Nancy, he asked, “You alright?”

She answered that she was as he walked over to me.

“I’m sure you can still fit in the clothes you left here,” he said.

“I haven’t really grown since freshman year, so I think I might,” I chuckled.

Steve and I went up to his bedroom when I heard Barb holler for Nancy. I’m not sure what they talked about, and to be honest, I really didn’t care. I just wanted out of these freezing ass clothes.

I looked around Steve’s room as I walked in, smiling a little to myself. “Hasn’t changed a bit.”

Steve shrugged. “Eh. There’s a new poster.”

“Doesn’t count,” I said, moving to the dresser drawer that had my clothes in it. I grabbed a pair of pants, not really feeling the shirts I had in there. I closed that drawer and went to the closet, turning on the light. “I’m borrowing a shirt.”

“You never returned my others,” he said.

I turned my head, seeing him standing at the open closet door. “Give a girl a break. They’re comfortable.” Since my undergarments were soaked as well, I went back to my drawer, grabbing a bra and a pair of panties before moving back to the closet to change.

Once I was finished, I walked out, seeing Nancy looking at Steve with bedroom eyes, taking off her shirt. “Nice,” I whispered, quickly walking out of the bedroom. Going to the kitchen, I was fully intending on making myself a glass of water and a quick sandwich to eat before taking Barb and Nancy back home.

As I was eating my sandwich and sipping on my water, I noticed that the lights flickered on and off. It was more of a blink and you’ll miss it type of flicker. What’s crazy is I thought I heard screaming, but I guessed that was just my imagination.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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A/N 2:  hi, friends! i hope y’all liked this chapter! i’m working as hard as i can on making sure the series is being uploaded on a good, consistent schedule unlike yabmh, lol. again, please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox.

Additional Note: i know that some of y’all are waiting to see your requests, and i promise i’ll get to them. the writer’s block hit really bad with them. atb is the only thing i have motivation to write for at the moment. once i receive my ged, i’ll have more time to sit down and write them.

~~~

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Posted on November 13, 2023